Chapter Text
A pig for slaughter who managed to dodge the knife, a sacrificial lamb who wasn’t sacrificed, a ticking bomb who didn't explode, a corpse who wasn’t dead, a life who never lived, a man who never got to be a child, a hero who never wanted to be…
And now someone with no purpose in life. Someone who means everything to the world, and nothing to himself.
It had been three years since the Battle of Hogwarts, the battle which concluded the Second Wizarding War. Light had won under the leadership of Harry James Potter, the Saviour of the Wizarding World.
In these three years the wizarding folk worked day and night to reverse and heal the damage of the war. Again, under the leadership of Harry Potter.
Hogwarts had been renewed to welcome thriving young minds yet again. The students who missed their last year were welcomed back to their ‘Eighth Year’. The Wizengamot and the Ministry were reassembled with strict background checks. Every Dark aligned person had faced fair trials. And the world had moved on.
But not Harry Potter.
The wounds of the war were still open and bleeding, the longing for the people he had lost along the way was suffocating, the desire for the life he never got to live maddening…
“I miss Hogwarts, my home. I want to return for the Eighth Year with my friend.”
“We need you to help us rebuild the government.”
“I miss my family and friends, I really wish they were still here…”
“We need you to be strong for the grieving public. There’s no time to grieve.”
“The new Wizengamot is more than enough to run the country.”
“You need to be the Chief Warlock. Your word is basically the law until the public trusts the Ministry again.”
“The press and Daily Prophet are out of line. I don’t want to be the object of attention in any article. I want to be left alone.”
“Of course the press will follow you and the Prophet will write about you. You are our Saviour. People need to see you.”
“A lot happened in so little time… I don’t know what to feel about this all.”
“We need you here at the present. Stop being stuck in the past. Move on.”
Move on…
Harry tried to move on, like everybody else, like he was told to do.
But how?
How could someone who’s whole life was a war, move on from said war? He was born into this war, was raised a soldier to fight in this war, was made a sacrifice for this war, had lost everyone to this war, had lost himself to this war, and was supposed to die in this war. He was never supposed to survive this war. His life purpose was this war, and now the war was gone with everything that made life meaningful.
The only thing that made life liveable was Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.
“How did you manage to get out of the Ministry this time?” Ginny asked nonchalantly.
Harry sat down next to her with a huff. “Don’t even ask.” He took off his cap and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I swear to Merlin they would lock me in there if they could.”
“I’m always at the Ministry as well, but I never see you. Why is that?” Hermione wondered.
“I have no idea.” Harry took a chip from Ginny’s plate. “Running away from Voldemort is easier than running away from the Ministry, though.”
Ron chuckled. “Yeah, seems like it. I can’t believe we managed not to get caught for months back then.”
“You’d die within the first month now.” Ginny smiled at her brother. “Even that little girl was running faster than you a few days ago.”
“Hey!” Ron protested while Hermione laughed.
“Seriously though, you got rusty so fast Ron. Helping George manage the shop didn’t do you well. We should take you back to that escape room again sometime,” Hermione offered, “you know, to put your skills to test.”
Ginny giggled. “Oh, yes! It was so fun. I’ll call Neville and Luna this time. They’d like it.”
“What escape room? What little girl?” Harry looked at his friends with confusion.
“Oh, um…” Hermione began. “We went to a muggle escape room two weeks ago. Ron raced with a five year old girl after we got out.”
“Two weeks ago?” Harry said in surprise, “Why didn’t you call me?”
“Because you are always busy with Ministry work.” Harry’s head turned to Ginny so fast it hurt. “You were going to decline anyway, like you always do. You never have time for anything, and when you do, the only thing on your mind is either the Ministry or the fucking war.”
“Ginny.” Ron shot a warning look to his sister.
“Oh shut up, Ron. Someone needs to tell him the truth.” Ginny fully turned to a flabbergasted Harry. “The war ended more than three years ago, Harry. And you are still fighting a war we won. You always prioritise the Ministry over anyone. You always ‘work’, you don’t even go out anymore. Do you not realise we haven’t seen each other for a month now? I am your girlfriend, and these are your best friends. I think at least we are more important than the Ministry.”
“Of course you are! Do you think I want to be locked in the Ministry all day until late at night? I need to be there, they need me there,” Harry protested.
“No, they don’t, Harry. The Ministry has been more than capable of running itself for a year now. And you well damn know it. You are still there because you need people to need you.”
Harry felt like his head was hit with a bludger. “What..?”
“You are so used to people following you, to people needing you that you are addicted to that feeling. You are so used to saving people that you are still trying to save people who no longer need saving. When you are over at the Ministry everyone listens to you because you are in that kind of position of power, not because they need you to run the country. And when you can’t ‘save’ anyone at the Ministry, you turn back and try to save all those dead people that died during the war.”
“No, I don’t—”
“Yes, you do. Stop lying to yourself,” Ginny snapped. “You are still fighting that stupid war, Harry. Stop it. The world does not need you to fight a war we won. People do not need you to save us. The Ministry does not need you to run. We do not need you. How long do I have to wait for you to realise this?” Ginny waited for a response from her boyfriend, but Harry couldn’t do anything but stare. “Well, I am tired of waiting, Harry.” She grabbed her purse and got up.
“Ginny!” Ron called behind her.
“I am late for my training.” Ginny yelled back before the door to the cafe they were sitting in closed behind her.
Harry slowly turned to his friends, both of them looking at him wide eyed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to ease the weight of Ginny’s words, hating the images of the war that popped up in his mind. “Do you think the same as her?”
“No—” Hermione started.
“Please, be honest.” Harry put his elbows to the table, and took his head in his hands. “Be brutally honest.”
“I’m sorry, mate,” Ron said, “but you really are stuck in the past. I don't know what’s going on in the Ministry, I don’t know how much work you have there, or if you are still needed or not… The war ended years ago, mate. We lost… we lost a lot of people, yes, but there are a lot more people who we saved. I, I sometimes feel like we lost you in that battlefield as well… most of the time.”
Harry opened his eyes to meet Hermione’s. She nodded. “The world moved on, Harry. We moved on. But you are still stuck on that battlefield, yet you changed so much. I cannot recognise you since you went to the Forbidden Forest that day. It almost feels like a different Harry returned with Hagrid.”
Harry stayed silent, every word crushing him. Ron indicated Hermione to get up once he realised Harry wasn’t going to speak. He put a hand on his best mate's shoulder. “I don’t know if we’ll be able to see you, so… Happy early birthday.”
“Yeah, happy birthday…” Hermione said with a small smile, and they left.
A nearby calendar showed the date as 24th of June, 2001. Harry chuckled to himself, reburying his face in his hands, a miserable attempt to hide his misery.