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“If I was a worm,” Shouyou starts and Kei groans.
This entire trip has been filled with the kind of bullshit hypothetical questions that are designed to start an argument and they still have at least half an hour left cramped together on this bus. The couple in the seat behind them lets out a muffled laugh. They, at least, get entertainment value from hearing every single question he’s been asked. He simply gets to suffer. Because no matter how he answers, even if he doesn’t give an answer, Shouyou does not. Stop. Asking. Questions. Not even Kei pretending to fall asleep had stopped Shouyou. He had just nudged Kei’s shoulder and said he knew Kei was faking it and would he or would he not drink bat milk if people could milk bats like they do cows.
“If you were a worm,” Kei prompts when he glances over to see Shouyou staring at him with those stupid, wide brown eyes sparkling with mischief.
Shouyou grins. “If I was a worm. Would you rather see me eaten by a fish or a bird?”
“A bird,” he replies instantly.
“Really?” Shouyou tilts his head. “Why?”
“The fish implies you were used as bait. Which means you were caught by someone, shoved into a little container, and then whisked away. With the bird you were just out minding your own business, wild and free, and got snatched up and eaten.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I think that’s my favorite question now,” Shouyou says softly, smile lighting up his face as he leans against Kei’s shoulder.
Kei doesn’t for a second believe that this means Shouyou will stop with the questions any time soon. But he’ll take whatever moments of peace like this that he can and remind himself of this feeling on the days he’s stuck alone while Shouyou is in a different country or on a different continent.
“Close your eyes for the last bit,” he says. “That way you hopefully won’t fall asleep on Asahi on the way back this time.”
“Be quiet,” Shouyou pouts. “That was one time and I was super jet lagged and you know it.”
“Just get a few minutes of rest. We’ve got the next few months,” he reminds Shouyou. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” Shouyou barely manages to mumble the word around the yawn that seems to take him by surprise as he blinks up at Kei.
“Promise.”
Shouyou sinks against his shoulder with a nod, breath evening out before his weight is even fully resting against Kei.
—
Asahi loves and is thankful every day for whatever deity or twist of fate or sprinkle of destiny or what have you that led him to Karasuno and his friendships with the people there. Especially Daichi and Suga. He would not be the person he is today, sometimes literally, without those two by his side back then. Yes, there were plenty of others that held critical parts of him and who is in their hands and helped him carve them into puzzle pieces that make up the shape of him. But those two? They held the carving knives the longest.
Some days they’re still the ones helping him shave down the edges and smooth the curves. Still helping him make who he is. Find where he fits. Find who fits him.
The crash he hears before he can even open the door makes him wince.
He may love whoever or whatever brought him those two and be thankful for them. But some days… some days he also wants to find them so he can ask them what the hell they were thinking leaving someone like Suga unattended by any kind of higher power on a daily basis.
No. Issei does not count as a higher power. No matter how much he likes to pretend otherwise. Neither does Oikawa but Asahi is not about to hop onto that particular train of thought. Oikawa and his situationship and his merry band of terror can stay on the other side of the city, thank you so very much.
“Hey.”
Issei is not some kind of higher power. Just because he pops into existence the moment Asahi thinks of him means absolutely nothing. He’s just distracted, that’s all. He didn’t see or hear Issei coming up the walkway behind him. He was too busy listening to what is probably the destruction of at least half of the rooms inside the house. If not more.
Issei taps his fingers against Asahi’s lower back a few times.
“I said hey, Baby Doll. Are you ignoring me?”
He’s ignoring the flash of something that rushes through him when he hears Issei call him that, just like he always does, that’s for sure.
“I’m just trying to decide if I want to go inside and deal with that.” He gestures towards the house. Another crash happens, almost on cue, and they both wince. “Or if I want to just go for a bit of a walk and come back later and hope they’ve settled down a little by then.”
“Is this all because the munchkins came back? Is that why they’re so wound up?”
“I have no idea. Honestly? I’m a little afraid to find out.” He rubs his hands across his face tiredly. “I was supposed to meet them and walk home with them but I got held up at work so I asked Daichi to do it and, apparently, that was a mistake. So, really. I suppose this is my fault.”
Issei’s arms snake around his stomach and he startles — just a teeny, itty, bitty bit — when he’s pulled back against Issei’s chest.
“No. None of that now.”
He lets himself take the comfort Issei is offering for a minute, relaxing and trusting Issei not to let him fall until another noise — more of a dramatic thumping of something hitting a wall or floor than an outright crash — makes him sigh and pull away.
“Not to sound rude or anything but why are you here? Did we have plans that I forgot? That thing with Oikawa and the others isn’t until next week, right?”
“Can’t a guy just come say hey to a friend?”
“Sure. But the motive starts to get a little questionable when it takes the guy almost an hour to get to the friend’s house on a good day. That’s a little bit of a trip just to say hey. Not like you were out for a walk and decided to just come a few streets over to my place.”
“Well you won’t believe me when I say I want to date you. So I have to use more questionable motives.”
Asahi rolls his eyes. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Issei wants to date him it’s just, well. He’s seen the kinds of people Issei has dated in the past and Asahi is nothing like any of them. That’s not him putting himself down. He’s plenty confident in his own appeal — thank you Suga — but when he looks at the people Issei has dated in the past few years that they’ve become friends? His appeal doesn’t line up with what he’s seen to be Issei’s taste.
So he takes Issei’s teasing and nicknames and invasion of space the same way he takes Suga’s and Daichi’s and Noya’s and so many others: flirty friendship.
He pulls the rest of the way out of Issei’s grasp and steps into his house. He’s got bigger issues to deal with today other than Issei’s supposed feelings for him. Hinata and Tsukishima are both back for the first time in almost a year and he wants to spend as much time with them as possible before they disappear into the world again.
—
“Oh. It’s you.”
Tendou’s lackluster greeting doesn’t offend Kei. It wouldn’t have even back when he first met the guy but it sure as hell doesn’t now that he actually knows him. Tendou is, well, strange. He has been ever since the day Kei first met his eyes across the court. It works for him though. Tendou wears his quirkiness the same way Kei wears his impassiveness: a well crafted mask that most people are fooled by.
Or, if they’re not fooled, they at least never bother looking beyond it any.
“Yep. It’s me.”
Tendou tilts his head and stares at Kei a bit longer before he shrugs and walks back inside the apartment, leaving the door open behind him. Kei follows, shutting the door as he kicks off his shoes. It’s not the coldest greeting he’s gotten from Tendou but it’s not exactly super warm either. Which most likely means that at least one of the others are gone. Possibly both. Tendou’s mood tends to be a little more frigid when he’s left alone. Shouyou tries to say that Tendou being alone means he doesn’t have to play nice.
Kei is pretty sure it’s more like Tendou being alone means that he doesn’t have to wear his mask of quirkiness and he can just exist. His natural form of existing just isn’t as bright and chipper as Shouyou’s is.
“You know where everything is if you want a snack or whatever,” Tendou’s voice floats over from the direction of the bedrooms. “No clue when anyone is gonna be back.”
Kei helps himself to a drink, debates the random container of leftover chicken wings and rice he can see sitting on the shelf, and scans the notes on the fridge when he decides he’s not that hungry right now. Oikawa is at class and Suga is helping Daichi with something. He can’t quite make out what Suga has scribbled on the piece of paper but knowing Suga the way he does? He’s probably better off not knowing the details. Less likely he can be made an accomplice of some sort. He finishes half of his drink in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and replying to the handful of messages he hasn’t bothered to get around to since he and Shouyou got back a couple days ago.
Eventually he pushes away from the counter and wanders through the apartment to find Tendou. They’ve gotten to the point where Tendou doesn’t outright ignore Kei anymore or barricade himself in his room when Kei shows up and there isn’t any kind of buffer between them. Which doesn’t always mean that Tendou actually wants to interact with Kei but when he heads down the hallway the bedroom door is open and Tendou is sprawled on the bed on his stomach, head buried in his arms. An open door means that he isn’t entirely opposed to Kei’s company today.
“Do you wanna gossip about how Asahi and Matsukawa still aren’t together? Or hear about how Shouyou basically got us kicked out of three separate dining establishments in one weekend and banned from two others this time around? Or just lay there like a floppy, rolled up rug and exist while I watch videos on my phone?”
Tendou lets out a little sound that can’t quite decide if it wants to be a snort or cough and Kei sits on the bed next to him.
“Gimme option two. We can work our way around to option one because right now I do not have the brain power to even start to think about that ridiculous ordeal. I don’t know what’s worse. Listening to Suga complain about Matsukawa not getting in Asahi’s pants yet or listening to Tooru complain about Asahi not being worth Matsukawa’s epic pining.”
“That sounds… exhausting.”
“Yeah.”
He gestures vaguely in Tendou’s direction even though he knows Tendou can’t see him. “Is that why you’re all blech today?”
Tendou nods and burrows his head even deeper into his arms in the process. “Pretty much.”
It’s not how Kei planned on spending his afternoon but with everything else going on in his life? It’s a pretty good option in the end.
If nothing else the look of absolute terror on Oikawa’s face when he gets home and finds Kei and Tendou sprawled on the bed together, red faced with laughter and tears in their eyes, more than makes up for any tiny bits of inconvenience Kei might have experienced dealing with Tendou. The fact that Oikawa actually backs out of Tendou’s room slowly like he’s afraid one of them might turn into some kind of feral creature and come after him if he moves too fast is just a bonus memory for Kei to keep and pull out on bad days.
—
Tooru settles down next to Tsukishima with a soft sigh. Which seems to concern Tsukishima more than whatever is going on across the room with Daichi and Hajime. Which concerns Tooru a little. He might like being the center of attention but that doesn’t mean he likes being perceived in the way that people like Satori and Tsukishima tend to be able to perceive him. But at the same time?
This might be his chance to get an honest answer.
“Question.”
Tsukishima glances at him. “Answer.”
“Am I, like, a bad person?”
“I am going to need so much more context for that one.”
He was afraid of that and he doesn’t really want to explain, doesn’t want to risk cutting himself open enough for Tsukishima to really see inside him. But he’d really like, for once, an honest answer to the question. So he carefully cuts, trims the edges as neatly as he can, and gently pulls the layers away as he explains to Tsukishima his concerns and worries and how he is honestly just trying to see two of his friends have happy stories. Maybe not happy endings because they all know that no matter how happy the story endings are, by default of the fact they are ends, kind of sad.
Tsukishima listens quietly, nodding and humming when Tooru pauses to check if he’s paying attention. After Tooru has bared his soul as much as he can to someone that isn’t Hajime or Koushi, Tsukishima takes a few steady breaths as he thinks it over. Tsukishima may never be one of Tooru’s closest friends and he may hate the way he can see things that Tooru can’t sometimes but Tooru can appreciate the thought Tsukishima normally puts into his actions and words.
“You’re difficult, that’s for sure,” Tsukishima finally says. “But in this case I don’t think you’re actually being a bad person. You genuinely do want them to be happy, even I can see that. You just might be pushing a little too much. Or, well.” He tilts his head back and forth a few times as he rethinks his words. “Pushing in the wrong direction maybe?”
“They need a push, though,” Tooru says. “Just watching them like this is painful. They’re, like, stagnating. Like a drain all plugged up with dead leaves I want to just yank out.”
“I get it. I do,” Tsukishima insists when Tooru glares at him. “I hear it from just about all sides when we come back. Shouyou worries about Asahi but he also worries about Suga. Tadashi complains that Daichi is worried about things. Tendou and I exchange stories about all the people we know who are so extremely invested in those two. Even Kuroo and Kenma and Akaashi get into it sometimes about all of it. But think of it as less of a blockage of dead leaves and more like a river some kid dammed up. It’s kind of shoddy, there’s a lot of little leaks, but it’s strangely effective. The emotions and whatnot are trickling through, enough that everyone’s just gotten used to it. Now if you go in and just rip down the whole thing? You’re going to risk flooding the stuff people have built along the banks. But if you take out a few pieces at a time? Let the water start flowing freely bit by bit?”
Tooru thinks about it as he watches Daichi and Hajime go from arguing about something on Daichi’s phone to laughing at it a few seconds later. He thinks about the way he and Satori had to build their friendship, their relationship, bit by bit while Koushi just dove in with them both. Thinks about the waves Koushi made that sometimes threatened to overwhelm him.
“Get them used to it a little at a time so they can safely move back from the bank and by the time the water is back to the level it should be they won’t be washed away.”
“Exactly.” Tsukishima flashes him a smile. “Now stop trying to push them like Suga would and push them like you. Help take the rocks of the dam out in your way.”
“Like me, huh? What do I do?”
“Let Suga take out the big ones. Let him talk them through the process while he yanks the rug out from under them. You? You distract them, make them look left while you’re plucking out the keystones on the right. Hang out with Asahi and help him see Matsukawa less as just the sum of Matsukawa’s decisions and more as a person. Talk to Matsukawa and help him carve out space in his life, his actual life, for Asahi without him even realizing you picked up the chisel.” Tsukishima turns towards him and makes sure the Tooru is meeting his eyes before he continues. “You’re blunt, Oikawa. But that doesn’t mean you’re only made for destruction.”
Then Tsukishima picks up his phone and turns his attention back to whatever message he was sending before Tooru interrupted him, like he didn’t just drop a life changing realization into Tooru’s lap and make Tooru realize just how absolutely seen he is.
“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Tooru admits.
Tsukishima huffs softly and shifts to press their arms together for a moment.
“It’s the most honest thing I’ve ever said to you,” Tsukishima says. “Isn’t that what you wanted from me? Honesty?”
“Yeah. But, like. Damn.”
—
Shouyou stares at the man next to him. He knows that Matsukawa knows that he’s being stared at. That Matsukawa knows that Shouyou is staring at him while he’s busy staring at Asahi. The fact that he doesn’t hide that he’s watching Asahi, that he hasn’t tried hiding it ever as far as Shouyou knows, goes a long way in Shouyou’s book.
“If I was a worm,” Shouyou starts, trailing off and waiting for Matsukawa to drag his attention away from Asahi sitting on his towel bit further down the beach.
“If you were a worm,” Matsukawa eventually says as he turns to look at Shouyou. Shouyou grins at him in that bright way that he knows makes most people blink a few times and wonder just what is going on in his mind. At least that’s what Kei says that particular smile of his does. Matsukawa just smiles back like he can’t wait to see what’s going to happen next.
“If I was a worm. Would you rather see me eaten by a fish or a bird?”
“Neither,” he immediately replies.
“Something has to eat me,” Shouyou says. “You can’t be all ‘no Shouyou I don’t wanna see you eaten’ or whatever. You have to choose some—”
“Armadillo.”
“—thing. What?”
“Armadillo,” Matsukawa repeats.
“Armadillos eat worms?”
“Oh yeah. They love ‘em. They can’t see very well so they have to go mostly by smell. And they dig and burrow, looking for grubs and insects and worms.”
This is fascinating. This is why he loves asking these questions. He gets so many weird answers. Usually his favorite part is winding people up and listening to them try to talk themselves into or out of an answer. Trying to justify one thing or the other when he asks these seemingly dumb questions. But every once in a great while someone, usually Kei or Kenma or Lev, will throw him for a loop.
He hadn’t expected Matsukawa to be included in that rareness. But here he is. Surprising the hell out of Shouyou.
“So why would you want an armadillo to eat me?”
Someone behind them, Kei he thinks but he’s too fascinated by watching Matsukawa to actually look, lets out a quiet groan and immediately walks away from them. Which is fine. Shouyou is focused now and doesn’t want to miss a moment of this. Maybe Matsukawa has a chance to catch Asahi after all. Maybe he really does want Asahi and not just the thrill and glory of having caught him after the chase.
“Because if something is going to snatch you up and eat you they should earn it. Armadillos work for their food. They have to dig it up and search it out and trust their senses of smell and whatever sense of touch they might have while digging. Fishes and birds? Not so much.”
“But a fish has to risk a hook when it goes for the worm. And the bird has to yank the worm out of the ground too.”
Matsukawa grins at him. “Still not the same. The fish and bird? Opportunists in this scenario. The armadillo? The little shit has to work, and work hard, for you.” Matsukawa ruffles his hair and Shouyou smacks Matsukawa’s hand with a laugh. He’s really not bothered by it. With some people they try to use the move to make him feel small. Matsukawa is one of the ones that makes him feel special with the move. Like they’re sharing a joke. “You deserve someone willing to put in the effort.”
“So do you,” Shouyou says.
“Nah.” Matsukawa shrugs. “He deserves it.”
“But—”
“Nope. Ask Tsukishima. He’ll agree. People like me and him? We need something to put effort into. We need a goal. We need that challenge to remind us of why we’re doing what we’re doing. Who we’re doing it for.”
“You need someone who looks at your strange little armored shell and wants to know more about you. Someone who wants to give you dirt to dig in and make you feel safe enough to not curl into a ball.”
He does that for Kei. He knows he does. He’s not Kei’s best friend, that’s still Tadashi. Just like his own best friends are Kenma and Tobio. But he knows that he’s the person that Kei can be his most truthful self around. That Kei knows he can come to Shouyou no matter what. That Kei can be as acidic and cruel and nasty as he wants in Shouyou’s presence because Shouyou knows. He knows the sweet and kind and respectful person that lives under Kei’s armor. He gets to see it each time Kei indulges him when he asks silly questions and nearly gets them kicked out of a shop because Shouyou just can’t help his energy sometimes.
“You got it.”
He really does get it, he realizes later that day as they’re all sprawled in the sand after a long afternoon of beach volleyball and swimming and chasing each other around like the stupid teens none of them are anymore. Because he gets the cautious way that Asahi watches Matsukawa when he settles quietly at Asahi’s side. The way that Matsukawa’s energy seems to shift whenever he’s near Asahi. The way his armor shifts ever so slightly just because Asahi is next to him.
Matsukawa softens around Asahi and Asahi has no idea what to do with it.
No wonder he thinks Matsukawa is screwing with him. He doesn’t realize, even after all these years, that Matsukawa’s mask is what he wears around the others, not him. That what Asahi gets is the real Matsukawa. The man under the armor. That what he sees isn’t some ploy to get him to cave and finally give into Matsukawa’s teasing but the reality of who Matsukawa really is.
“Suga and Oikawa have their work cut out for them,” Shouyou says when Kei sits next to him with a relieved sigh. Kei’s spent the last hour or so fending off the combined forces of Tadashi, Tobio, and Watari’s puppy dog look to join them for two-on-two for just one more round.
“No shit,” Kei grumbles. “They’re both so far gone on each other and neither realize and it’s ridiculous.”
“Nah. Matsukawa realizes. He’s just waiting for Asahi to catch up.”
He will. Shouyou might not be observant in the ways people like Kei and Kenma and Suga and Oikawa are. But he knows what to look for to find what he wants to find. He sees it in the way that Asahi lets Matsukawa settle even if he doesn’t understand it. Asahi watches Matsukawa for a minute before laughing at something and handing Matsukawa a bottle of water that Matsukawa takes with a sheepish gesture, rubbing at his cheek and dropping his head a little to hide his expression from Asahi. Asahi tilts down enough to see Matsukawa’s face — pushing into his space and seeking him out in a way that Asahi usually doesn’t do with anyone — and his face lights up when whatever he says makes Matsukawa laugh.
They’ll be just fine.
Kei wraps an arm around his shoulder and pulls Shouyou into his side with a playful little groan that just makes Shouyou laugh and nuzzle in close. He has plenty of experience with masks and armor and seeing what’s below them. He’s been told before that he brings things out of people. That they’re different around him than they are around other people.
He likes to think that he just gives them space to be themselves. Without judgment or any kind of expectation. He lets Kei be soft. Lets Tobio be silly. Lets Kenma be stupid. Lets Oikawa be kind. Lets Asahi be calm.
He gives them cracks in the sidewalk and dirt to play in and lets them grow into whatever they will be. He helps give them a place to take root and bloom.
Tendou is squished between Suga and Oikawa down by the water, head thrown back in a cackle that seems to have Oikawa blushing and Suga staring at him with hearts in his eyes. Daichi and Hajime are sitting somewhere behind Kei and himself. He can hear their voices playfully arguing about something. Probably whatever it was that made the others have to cancel on today’s beach trip. Those two were as invested in Kuroo, Bokuto, and Yaku’s relationship as Suga and Oikawa were in Asahi and Matsukawa’s after all.
“Hey, Kei?”
“Yeah?”
“Did you know that armadillos like to eat worms?”
Kei groans and pushes Shouyou over, dropping his weight against Shouyou and pinning him to the ground. But Shouyou can hear the laughter in his voice when he asks what is wrong with Shouyou’s brain and he can feel the curve of Kei’s smile where he has it pressed against Shouyou’s bare shoulder.
Yeah. They’re all going to be just fine.