Work Text:
—-
It's fine, it's cool. You can say that we are nothing, but you know the truth.
—-
You had known Haruhi your whole life. You were there when her mom died. You were there when her dad started crossdressing. You were there when that stupid kid put gum in her hair. You were there with her. And she was there with you. Every major event in your lives, you two never fail to show up.
It was like it was just the two of you. You have practically been living with her. Every chore, every assignment, every task was done by the both of you. You were content and happy. It was like playing house! Haruhi was the hardworking mom, and you, the dutiful wife. It was a dream come true.
But soon enough, it was time to come back to reality. Eventually this dream would be nothing but just a dream. A hopeful vision. A small sample of what it would be like if the world spun the way you wanted it.
You were so proud of Haruhi when she got accepted into Ouran. The most prestigious school! She got in through a scholarship. You have never been so proud.
“You are amazing.” You say, giving her a peck on the cheek, dangerously near her lips. You don’t miss the way she turns red at your affections. You have always been like this. Always touchy, but never pushy. Haruhi liked that.
“Thanks, (Name)..” Haruhi smiled. This is her big break. Finally, something akin to a miracle happened to her! All she needed was to work hard now. Of course, she’d make sure to spend time with her (Name).
Her (Name)..?
‘Her’ (Name)…?
Silly Haruhi! (Name) is not an item! She can’t own a person! And besides, saying things like that is only reserved for lovers.
.
.
.
Would she like (Name) as a lover?
She shook her head. She can’t think of (Name) like that. It’s rude, and it’s wrong!…But she can think of these things in private. No one would know. No harm done, right?
She looked at the acceptance letter in her hands and then back at (Name).
Noticing her silence, you can’t help but ask, “What’s wrong?”
“..It’s nothing…”
“Oh, come on!” You take her hands and envelop them in yours. “You tell me everything, don’t go hiding things now…”
Haruhi sighs. She can’t let her feelings out just yet. “ It’s just… I’m worried we won't spend that much time together…” She trailed off, and looked away. Not bothering to complete her sentence. The implications were there anyway. You would understand.
She wasn’t expecting to hear laughing from you.
“Oh, Haruhi!” You laughed, “You worry so much. You just got accepted into one of the richest schools in Japan, and you’re worrying about me…?” Haruhi is just the sweetest girl in the world. It’s so hard to contain your feelings for her.
“(Name)!” Haruhi exclaimed, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
“..hehe, I love you so much, Haruhi.” You smile. Knowing that she’ll think nothing of the L word, you say it a lot. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know I'll always support you. I’m always here for you, and I'm not going anywhere just yet.”
There you go again. ‘I love you’ you say. Haruhi always flushes whenever she hears you say that. She knows you mean it more intimately than a platonic friend would. It always feels that way. Not that she would acknowledge it. She was fine with the way things were.
You two have been dancing around each other ever since you two got older. Always so close to coming clean, but never close enough to reveal anything. Maybe the two of you like the position that you are in now. You’re both happy. You’re both together.
There was a mutual understanding that you both have feelings, but never did anything to confirm anything.
“I know,” Haruhi replies. “I love you too, (Name)”
—-
And guess I'm the fool, with her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof.
—-
Both of you were in your house this time.
If you had known that Haruhi’s first day of school was going to turn out to be a really, REALLY, major day in your life, perhaps you would have shown up there too.
“Haruhi, you’re in debt?!” You exclaim. She had just recounted what happened on her first day, and you couldn’t be any more… frustrated.
“It’s okay!!-” “No it’s not!” “-It was my fault, okay! I hit the vase,-“
“If the vase was so important, why wasn't it barricaded?!”
“(Name), please,..” Haruhi says with a sigh. She got you all riled up.
“Haruhi, this is practically hazing. A host club? You, working like a dog? their leader sounds like a creep. There’s gotta be another way…”
“It was my fault, and they gave me a solution! I just have to work for them. And the dog thing, Tamaki is just…eccentric. He means well, ok? At least they aren’t hurting me.” Haruhi tried to reason with you.
She was met with silence. To a normal person, it would seem like Haruhi had successfully talked to you. But she knows you. You wouldn’t back down so easily.
“(Name)!-“
“They just want your debt paid, right? I have some money saved up.” Haruhi’s eyes widened.
“..What? (Name) that’s your money, you know I can’t take that.”
“It’s our money, Haruhi. When we worked for Misuzu-san, we said that we’d use the money for emergencies. This is the time to spend it now. Let’s get you out of that club.”
“(Name), I can work on this on my own. It’s my mess, and I'll fix it! You can’t change my mind.” Haruhi says, standing her ground. She didn’t need help. You were always there to clean up after her, why can’t she do this on her own now?
You knew what Haruhi was thinking. And you sigh. You pull her in for a hug. Haruhi stiffens, before melting in your embrace. Her hands find their way to lock you in even more.
You put your face in the crook of her neck, before whispering, “…Just promise me, that you’ll leave if they do anything weird..”
‘A bit too late for that’ Haruhi thought before replying. “I promise..”
.
.
.
You both stand there for a while, taking in each other’s presence.
“I love you.”
“…I love you too.”
Maybe you should have insisted that she take the money.
—-
I don't wanna call it off, but you don't wanna call it love. You only wanna be the one that I call "baby".
—
You laugh with Haruhi as she recalls the recent events in her school. You were both in a park, just walking. Holding hands, of course.
“That’s pretty stupid of the twins! and that Tamaki guy! Sounds infuriating.” You say in between fits of giggles.
“hehe, yeah! but they mean well!” Haruhi smiles.
“What about you?”
Huh?
“I mean, what’s been going on at your Ouran?”
Hah. Your Ouran. Ouran Public High School.
“I mean, things are definitely not as interesting as *your* Ouran,” You sigh as you put a piece of hair behind your ears. You gripped Haruhi’s hand slightly before lowering the pressure of your hold. Almost like an act of reassurance.
“Oh! There was this one doctor that got in trouble though, ‘pperantly he went to the private ouran to look for his daughter. It was pretty sad..”
Not exactly the most fun topic to tell, isn’t it?
You both stop in front of a crossroad sign, just outside the exit of the park.
“Well, this is where we split.” You say, “Gotta catch up on some homework. You know with you gone, I finally managed to snag the rank 1 spot~” You joked.
“Congrats, (Name)” Haruhi laughed. “Good luck with your homework. Hope it doesn’t eat you alive.”
“Psh, I’ll eat that piece of paper if it means getting it done.” You say. You lean forward giving Haruhi a peck on the cheek. The bushes ruffle a little.
“Later, Haruhi!~” You say, before turning around and running to the direction of your *real* house. No matter, you’ll just sleep over tomorrow!
As soon as you were out of eyeshot, Haruhi immediately turned to the ruffling bush, which was weird considering it wasn’t windy. At all.
Haruhi let out a sigh. “..Come on out.,” She says, putting a hand in between her brows. How troublesome.
“HARUHI WHO WAS THAT.!.!” Tamaki demanded, more than asked.
“Does she go to Lobelia?” Queried the twins,
“No, silly! Haruhi said that she goes to the public Ouran High School! Weren’t you two listening?” Honey replied, oblivious to the look that Haruhi gave him. Mori moved Honey behind him subtly.
“You’ve been spying on me?!” She asked, a little louder than she would have hoped, but she was just frustrated! Why were they following her?
“And she called me infuriating! Mommy! Do something!” Tamaki yells, turning to Kyoya, who was rubbing leaves off of his clothes.
“You are pretty infuriating, boss.” Said Hikaru.
“And YOU’RE BOTH STUPID!”
“-Correction! *Pretty* stupid. It’s a compliment, boss” Said Kaoru.
“Wahhhh! But look! That wild girl just insulted me and KISSED Haruhi! She has tainted her!”
“…That’s some pretty backwards thinking..”
“…I thought you learned when those Lobelia girls came to Ouran..”
Haruhi huffs, but smiles. These guys are crazy, but they’re her friends now. She can’t help but feel slightly flattered that Tamaki is reacting this way though.
.
.
.
“(Name) (Last Name), goes to Ouran Public High School, ranked 1st in all subjects this Highschool, but 2nd on her elementary days, just behind Haruhi Fujioka. Currently a member of the student council, but is in the (Interest) club as well. She is also the childhood friend of our dear Haruhi.” She could have sword Kyoya put more emphasis on the ‘Childhood friend’ part.
“…It’s still creepy every time you do that.” She says.
“Childhood friend?!. Why, we have got to meet her!”
What.
“Great idea, boss!”
“You’re always so smart!”
The twins enabled, seeing the pensive look on Haruhi’s face. God, why are they like this?
“Meeting (Name)-chan? That sounds like so much fun! Right, Usa-chan?” Honey says, looking at the pink stuffed rabbit.
(Name) will not like this.
—-
You can kiss a hundred boys in bars. Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. You can say it's just the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason
—-
You stare at the group of boys inside Haruhi’s house.
‘The host club.’ You thought with slight disdain. Why were they here?
“(Name)!” Haruhi’s voice broke you from your thoughts.
“..They wanted to meet you!” She says. The enthusiasm was a little forced, but you gotta praise her for the effort.
A part of you wanted to say, ‘Well, Hi! Ya met me now!’ and then leave, but doing that would mean leaving Haruhi with these freaks.
“…Nice to meet you guys..”
Good job.
“I- uh.. heard about you guys.” You say, hopefully they’ll notice your disinterest and leave themselves.
“You have? Oh my dear, Haruhi, must be talking about us all the time!” A blonde spoke up. Tamaki Suoh. Hm.
“A beautiful girl such as yourself deserves to be friends with our Haruhi,” He says, pulling out a rose and handing it to you.
“..Are you a magician..?” You ask.
Tamaki froze before gathering himself after hearing a snort from one of the twins.
“I don’t know any magic, but I can cause sparks in your heart.” Tamaki says, pulling himself closer to you.
Haruhi watched this happen. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be you, or Tamaki. Oh! Stop thinking about this, Haruhi! Your friends are meeting for the first time! Stop making things weird.
He was not expecting you to push him back with so much force he steps back a few feet away now.
You scoffed. “If the sparks were supposed to make me uncomfortable, then sure, you’re a magician all right.”
Ouch.
You turn to meet the rest of the club. “I already know who you guys are, and you probably already know me, so let’s skip the formalities!” you say, feigning a positive attitude.
“It’s so nice to finally meet all of you!” Giving them the famous customer service smile.
.
.
.
“Bye Haruhi!” You say as you leave. It was getting dark. No sleepover. The club members were actually pretty funny. You get why Haruhi would stick around. You became real close with the twins. They were weird, but you could see yourself hanging out with them! They were the good kind of weird. Uncanny, but comforting? But you were still wary of them. Of all of them.
While the twins were the closest to you, you definitely trusted Mori the most. You oddly felt safe around him. No wonder Honey always hangs around him. You would too if you and Mori were close.
You were guarded about Kyoya the most. This guy knows a lot. A little too much. You can’t afford to mess with him.
And who could forget the King himself, Tamaki? Haruhi was right. He was obnoxious. Was he a theater kid? You can’t help but think he thinks everything's a performance. Seriously, isn’t he tired of acting all the time? You gotta respect that.
Though, you notice that they all seem to feel the same way about Haruhi. It seems like they all want to please her. Do they all have a crush on her? You felt jealousy boil inside you. You sigh before shaking your head. Nah, all these rich kids probably already have a lover, or an arranged marriage. It’s sad but true. You know these guys wouldn’t make a drastic move on Haruhi. She was yours. And you have a feeling they know that. Except, Tamaki.
That Suoh guy, he’s rich enough to not need an arranged relationship. The other guys are as well, but you feel like Tamaki would marry regardless of status. Not to say the others won’t, but Tamaki felt more genuine? He was a dunce, but he was real. And that was scary.
He liked Haruhi. Not in the same crush way that the others do, but in the same way that you do.
This is dangerous.
Definitely gonna sleep this off.
.
.
.
Hey, where were your keys?
—-
Good luck, babe. You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.
—-
.
.
.
“She was nice!” Chirped Honey. Mori nodded, agreeing with his cousin.
“She hated me!” Complained Tamaki.
“You were being a bit of a creep, boss”
“Yeah! we aren’t even in school and you still acted like a king! All the roleplaying must have gotten to your head, boss. Haha.”
“Wahhh mommy, the twins are bullying me again!”
Haruhi let out a big sigh. It felt like she was holding her breath this whole time.
“I’m glad you guys got along. (Name) is probably the closest person to me right now. And it makes me feel happy that you guys like her”
“Of course, Haruhi.” Replied Kyoya. “We can see that you two really care for one another” He says, emphasizing the last bit.
Why does he keep doing that?
“Haruhi! Are you two dating? Usa-chan is asking!” Honey said, lifting up the pink bunny in his hands.
.
.
.
.
Everyone looked at her expectantly, Tamaki leaning a little more forwardly than the others.
“…We aren’t dating.. “ She replied…
Tamaki sighed in relief
“..But…”
Tamaki looked stiff again.
“..I do love her..”
Tamaki slumped down, looking dejected. The other guys sending him looks of pity. They knew that he liked her more than they did, and respected his feelings for her, regardless when they poke fun at him about it.
Kyoya looked at him with an unreadable expression. He had warned Tamaki about the relationship of Haruhi and (Name), it was quite honorable that he still decided to push through with the gathering tonight to meet her.
“…as a friend of course.”
Kyoya’s eyes widened. He didn’t expect that. He didn’t expect that at all.
Tamaki jumped once more, looking up at Haruhi. She was looking at him.
“She was always there for me, it’s hard for me to not love her! She’s like… the sister I never had.”
Haruhi didn’t love (Name) as a friend. She lied. She loved (Name) a little too much. And that was the problem. This whole friendship that they built would be all over if she confesses. It’s time she moves on. If she can admit it out loud, she can follow it.
On the other hand, this was it. This was Tamaki’s chance. Maybe a little untimely, but he can’t keep his feelings from her any longer.
“..Then..!”
“-Tamaki..” Mori warned. Now was not the time nor place.
“- How would you feel…. about going out with me?”
Tamaki ignored the warnings, the widened eyes of everyone in the room. He could only focus on Haruhi. Sweet and kind Haruhi.
He had hoped to give her a grand confession. This was far too simple, but he could always make up for it later. He just wanted to confirm their relationship now.
A confirmation, a label. Something Haruhi and (Name) lacked.
“..Like going out..on dates?” Haruhi asked. Is this really happening? She was being asked out! She normally would have rejected. But this just isn’t any other guy in back in elementary. He was Tamaki Suoh. He is the King of Ouran! He is…
not (Name).
“Yes! I would treat you to the fanciest of outings, the grandest of balls! Anything you would like, I would give it to you, my Haruhi.”
Nobody expected Haruhi to agree, but of course, this calls for a celebration. Cheers erupted from three club members. Hikari, Kaoru, and Honey.
Mori and Kyoya could only imagine what the (Hair color) haired girl would feel.
—-
I'm cliché, who cares? It's a sexually explicit kind of love affair. And I cry, it's not fair. I just need a little lovin', I just need a little air.
—-
You stare at the welcome mat at the foot of the door. Hand clutching the front of your shirt. Maybe you didn’t need your keys after all.
You slowly walk away from the door. Where would you sleep? You can crash at another friend’s house. Tears have yet to fall on your face. You feel them gathered in your eyes. But you won’t let them drop.
You should be happy for Haruhi. She said she always wanted to be in a relationship. You thought she was hinting it at you. But I guess it would be weird to date someone who was your sister, huh?
She has a nice new rich boyfriend now, would she still need you? The things you used to do, imagining yourself doing it with her felt wrong now. She has a lover now. You’d be a homewrecker.
You were a few steps away from the door now, a nearby street lamp, and the moon being your only source of light.
Hearing the door open you couldn’t help but turn to see who opened it.
It was Kyoya.
“(Name).” He nodded, acknowledging your presence. He doesn’t miss the way your body is slumped and sluggish, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.
Poor girl.
“I’m sure you heard what happened. I was going to make a reservation at restaurant to celebrate.” He says.
“…Would you like to join us?” He felt the need to ask. She is Haruhi’s best friend after all.
Hah.
Best friend.
I guess that’s all (Name) will ever be.
“..No, it.. it’s okay..” She manages to croak out. “..You guys have fun..”
“Of course.” He replied curtly.
(Name) looks as if she wanted to say more, but held herself back. “Don’t tell anyone I came back.” She looked at him. This is her pleading.
“I won’t.” He says. He was almost tempted to say his usual ‘Why should I?’ or ‘ What would I get in return?’ but this was not the time.
He sympathizes with (Name). He knows what it feels to have your best friend love someone else after all.
(Name) nodded before leaving. Small steps dragging along the pavement being the only sound that can be heard.
Kyoya waited for (Name) to be out of earshot before making the phone call.
‘Why did it have to be a restaurant? Why did it have to require calling’ He thought.
Fancy restaurants and their phone calls. yeesh.
—-
Think I'm gonna call it off, even if you call it love. I just wanna love someone who calls me "baby", you can kiss a hundred boys in bars, shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling. You can say it's just the way you are, make a new excuse, another stupid reason
—
Seven days. It had been seven days since (Name) had heard from Haruhi.
No call, no text, no contact. At all.
You know what you did see, though? Them hanging out. Doing the things you and Haruhi used to do together. Be it Haruhi and Tamaki, or Haruhi and the other host club members.
This hurts so much. It was bad enough that she was dating Tamaki, but why hasn’t she said anything to her yet? I thought they were sisters. haha.
Wow.
You couldn’t believe it. Were you reading Haruhi wrong this whole time? She had been very reciprocatice of your feelings.. did she really think that kissing was just something girl-friends do?
You were confident that she liked you back, so why…
why.
why.
why.
*ding!*
You got a text? Your heart leaps out from your chest. It was from Haruhi! She wants to meet up. Is she finally going to come clean? Why did it take so long..
Whatever. Whats important is that Haruhi is going to tell her now.
.
.
.
It hurts a little to look at Haruhi’s house. The front door where she heard everything from. Ouch.
(Name) Shakes her head, and tries not to think about that night too much. It will only bring her pain.
“Hey (Name)!” Haruhi says while (Name) opens the door.
She had an apron on, and the house smelt like cookies.
“You’re a bit early! The others aren’t here yet.”
What.
“What do you mean? I thought it was just gonna be the two of us.” You say, looking at straight at her
“ I guess it must have slipped my mind, haha, sorry about that. Are you still up to hang out though?” She asks while taking the baked goods out of the oven.
What.
“Sorry, I just thought..” (Name) trailed off. So Haruhi just wasn’t going to say anything?
Haruhi looked at her, head tilting to the side, telling her to continue.
(Name) sighed. “I thought you were gonna tell me something.” You look a little upset. Haruhi notices this.
“…Which is..?” She probes, urging you to continue again.
She really isn’t going to tell you? Wow. Okay.
“ It’s nothing.”
Haruhi scoffs. The sound of it irritates you, just a bit. “It’s nothing? Come on now, (Name). You tell me everything, don’t go hiding things now…” She smiles, returning the words you have previously told her back then.
Hm. She’s one to talk about hiding things.
“Pardon?” Haruhi was taken aback. Did you just snap at her?
You pursed your lips before replying. No going back now. “I said, you’re one to talk about hiding things.” You repeated. Much louder than before. And with a little bit more attitude.
“What are you talking about?” Haruhi looked upset. What were you accusing her for?
“When were you going to tell me that you were dating Tamaki?”
Oh.
This is what you were upset about?
“Oh! it just happened recently,-“
“No it didn’t!” You cut her off.
“Recently, was a day ago, at most! *recently* was a few minutes ago! *recently* was you telling me that I was early!”
Haruhi didn’t know how to react. But she definitely would return the same energy.
“Why are you so upset about this?” She asks, her voice raising slightly. This did nothing to cool down your anger. In fact, it only stroked the flames in your heart to burn brighter. Not in the good way.
“Me and Tamaki are together, big deal! I was going to tell you at some point!”
“When is this ‘some point’ going to be? I haven't heard from you in a week! And I'm mad that you didn’t tell me sooner! We tell eachother everything!”
“Now that’s a bit childish now, (Name). We didn’t mean *everything* everything when we said that.” Haruhi huffs. Are they really going to be fighting about this?
“The others are going to come over soon, let’s just calm down and talk about this later, alright?”
She was met with no response.
“(Name)?”
“…Why did you accept Tamaki’s confession..” You say weakly. You don’t know when you started tearing up. All you knew is that you and Haruhi were fighting now. Sure, you guys had fights here and there, but nothing to this degree. Never to this degree.
Haruhi was taken aback once more. What was she supposed to say? Tamaki was a good guy.
“..hah.. (Name), don’t tell me you’re jealous.” She tries to joke, to lighten the mood. But this only seems to upset her more.
“So what if I am, Haruhi?” (Name) says with newfound confidence. “What if I am jealous that you are dating Tamaki?”
“Now that’s just silly, (Name). I can’t break up with Tamaki just because you’re jealous of me.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Haruhi admits that.
“I’m not jealous of you!” But this confuses Haruhi even more.
“I’m jealous of him!” You finally say.
“What does he have that I don’t?! I can give you so much more. I’ve known you longer! Why did you say yes! I love you!”
Haruhi, for the life of her, could not answer. (Name) loved her? Truly? Not platonically?
“Is it because he’s rich? I didn’t expect you to be so materialistic.” You snapped.
Maybe that was out of line for you to say.
And it is. Haruhi recovers from the shock of hearing that you like her, turning angry in an instant. What did you just say?
“That is not the reason, and you know it, (Name)!” How could she say that!
“Then what is the reason, Haruhi?! Why did you accept that scumbags confession!-“
“Because he’s a boy!” How could (Name) say things like that at all! “I can’t believe you just accused me of being materialistic! And Tamaki is not a scumbag. Tamaki is everything I wanted in a guy!” unintentionally putting more emphasis on ‘guy’.
A crack on (Name)s heart formed.
Uh oh. Looks like Haruhi’s internalized homophobia popped out.
She wasn’t homophobic through any means. She’s a very big ally of the LGBT community, in fact! But that was all she was. An ally.
“I liked you, (Name), but you did nothing but dance around me! You’re jealous of Tamaki? You should be! He had the balls you never had to ask me out!”
Did you hear that? That was the sound of (Name)’s heart shattering.
Haruhi regrets saying anything. She wishes she could just turn back time and choke her past self, from every speaking out.
The look on your face was enough to tell her that she messed up.
“(Name), I didn’t mean that-“
Was all she could say before you turned around to open the door. atp make things worse, there was the host club, in all their glory, eyes wide, stiff like statues.
Great.
That was all it took for all the years to drop on (Name)’s face. Choked sobs came out of her mouth before she could even hold her mouth shut.
She pushes the guys out of the way before running off, back to the comfort of her own home, alone.
Haruhi turns to face the group, walking closer, looking extremely guilty. She couldn’t look them in the eye. She fidgets with the ruffles on the apron she had on,
“…Haruhi?” Tamaki calls out to her.
“…I think we should move the meet up.” Was all she said before closing the door in front of them.
—-
When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night, with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife. And when you think about me, all of those years ago, you’re standing face to face with "I told you so".
—-
Haruhi talked with Kyoya. He was always the smartest one. He did nothing but give her general advice.
“Follow your heart.” Seriously?
Haruhi sighed. If she wanted to follow her heart, she would have broken up with Tamaki and tried to patch things up with you. Regardless if you and her end up together. She just wanted to make things right.
She loved Tamaki, sure, but not like she loved you. You were different. You were (Name).
.
.
,
I guess she really is going to follow her heart. Good luck, Haruhi.