Chapter Text
It started with the slightest feeling of being out of breath.
Ryuji had thought something of it, actually.
First, he thought it was a side effect of him exercising. He had only gotten back to it recently, ever since Akira had started regularly hanging out with him. It was only natural for him to do so.
However, what wasn’t natural was that it seemed to get worse as time went on. Even as he went on to do more strenuous activities and palaces. He could hear how Akira and Ann were able to keep their breaths steady for longer than he was, and he could tell that the gap was widening. Even Yusuke, who looked like he never worked out a day in his life, seemed to adapt well to the strains of the palaces faster than Ryuji had been. Makoto was in a league of her own, so he didn’t even try to compare himself to her.
But by the time they got halfway through Kaneshiro’s palace, he had to wonder.
Why was he the first, and sometimes the only, person out of breath?
“Maybe it’s taking you a little longer to adjust?” Akira hesitantly suggested when Ryuji had mentioned it during one of their workouts.
Ryuji shot that theory down by providing his observations.
“Dude, I was a track star not too long ago. It’s not like I'm an old man or something.” The blond whined at the end.
Akira giggled at his words.
Ryuji had noticed that when they were in the Metaverse, Joker’s smirks and mischievous chuckles would be on full display to the party. In the real world, Akira would hide his smiles and giggles with his hands or by turning his face away, as he was doing now.
Ryuji found both versions charming.
And he found himself wanting to do almost anything to keep the smiles on Akira’s face.
While they were exploring Futaba’s palace, Ryuji started coughing.
It wasn’t bad, at least at first. It just felt like he had to clear his throat more often. He assumed it was from the dust and sand of the palace. There was obviously a lot of it, and his fellow teammates were affected by it as well.
However, they were fine outside of it, since a lot of the palaces’ effects on their bodies were minor in the real world. The persistent tickle still stayed with Ryuji, though.
When his mother pointed it out, Ryuji had told her it was just from dust and strain. It wasn’t a lie, as he had thought it was the reason as well. She told him to be careful and to get away from such a dirty environment if he could. He assured her that he was, which again was not a lie because at that point they were finishing up Futaba’s palace. He seriously hoped that was the cause. It was the only thing that made sense.
A small part of him doubted it, though.
And sure enough, he eventually found out that those doubts were right. The coughing continued into the days after completing the palace. It even bothered him on the long awaited beach day, cutting into his attempts to flirt. He had his first actual coughing fit when he and Akira had run away from the drag couple he had become “acquaintances” with in Shinjuku. Although it was short, he could feel Akira rubbing his back through it. Akira also stayed with him for the remainder of the day. Ryuji appreciated it, even though he felt a little guilty that he had his best friend watching over him.
He had another one in Hawaii.
Akira wasn’t there that time but Mishima had been and convinced him that maybe it was a sign to stop chasing girls. Ryuji didn’t pause his bikini chasing because of Mishima’s words, though. He only stopped because it wouldn’t be cool to cough around the girls. Eventually, he just chalked it up as being allergic to something over there.
But it continued even when he was back home.
Even though Akira was the one he was around the most when he started to struggle with his breathing, Morgana was the first one on the team to actually call him out on it. Though, it had not been out of concern. Instead, it was out of spite.
“At least I can be put on the front line often because I can walk around without having to catch my breath every few steps!” The cat had spat out during the debate about Okumura’s palace.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me.” Morgana sneered. “If we didn’t have to slow down for you-”
“Morgana.” Akira’s voice was calm, but the warning was clear. The cat was smart enough to drop it there, but he had said enough for Ryuji to pick up.
He held everyone back?
He had noticed that he was on the reserves more often than not lately, but he had thought it was because the other members were more suited for these enemies than he was. But as they raided Okumura’s palace, his observations proved that it was more than he initially thought. The team would rest a bit longer when he fought. They would avoid enemies a bit more. He would catch a few more glances from Akira when his breathing started to get harder.
The stupid cat was right.
And he became angry at himself.
Things got worse after a scare during the final fight against Okumura’s robots. Skull had been the fastest to realize that a particularly powerful move aimed at Joker was one that his current Persona was weak to. The leader was already not doing too well at that point as he had focused to heal his teammates instead of himself.
Skull’s instincts kicked in.
He managed to push Joker out of the way in time and took the hit for him.
“Skull, are you alright?” Oracle’s voice crackled in his ear.”
“I’m…fine.” He wheezed. “I wasn’t even weak to it.”
And as he watched Joker gather his bearings and swiftly demolish the enemy, Skull felt proud that he had done something helpful for his best friend.
However, saving Joker had seemed to come at a price. That tickle in his throat felt like something was permanently lodged in it after that palace. Ryuji constantly felt like he needed to cough something out. But no matter how many times he cleared his throat or how hard he coughed he could not expel it. Though he could still keep it under control when at rest, he had gotten to the point where it was difficult to even finish his usual exercise routines.
“Go check in with Takemi.” Akira suggested one day during gym class after finding him hunched over by the bleachers.
“I’ll be okay…” The blond huffed.
“ Please .”
Ryuji lifted his head, aiming to protest again. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. Akira had squatted down and now was close enough for Ryuji to clearly see his face.
Another difference Ryuji had picked up on between Joker and Akira was the way they showcased distress. Joker would become almost impassive, the leader in him not wanting to make his teammates panic. Akira would have his agitation on full display, like it was now. His black eyes were full of concern, his lips pulled down in a frown. Even the hand on his shoulder channeled his feelings, squeezing slightly.
Ryuji found both versions alarming.
And he found himself wanting to do almost anything to ease Akira’s mind.
“Okay, ‘Kira.” Ryuji relented. “I’ll go see her.”
Unfortunately, he didn’t keep his promise. Because that afternoon, shit started to go sideways.
Ryuji remembered the first time he saw them.
There had been three of them, the grey and white petals standing out on his dark pillowcase.
However, just as he had brushed them off his bed, he had brushed off the discovery. They were obviously from Akira. His friend loved part-timing at the flower shop and the bar and for some damn reason his hair was a magnet for various debris. Sometimes, Ryuji found himself picking out petals, small twigs, and even confetti out of the black locks if he saw them.
Besides, he had other things to worry about. Like needing to clear Niijima’s palace to clear the Phantom Thieves’ name. Or having to play nice with Akechi even though the sight of him pissed him off.
Or the knowledge that Akira’s life was on the line.
That last one kept Ryuji up half the night he first heard about it. Even though the plan to prevent Akira’s murder was coming together, it was still a frightening concept. The idea even seeped into his dream, turning it into a nightmare so intense that he woke up in a cold sweat and practically choking. He coughed as hard as he could, trying to expel whatever was in his throat.
For the first time, something actually came out.
The mix of disgust and curiosity turned into horror when he brought his palm to his lamp light. And even though they were curled up in a wad and soaked with saliva, he could still recognize the grey and white petals.
Of course the very same things he had brushed off a couple days ended up being another major problem.
Thankfully, the next day was an off day from both school and the palace, and he was able to go to Takemi’s before meeting up with his friends. He read enough stories to suspect what it was, and the doctor had confirmed it. Even though it was a rare disease, she still had medication to keep it under control.
“This is only a temporary solution.” Takemi reminded him. “I suggest you either tell the person your feelings or consider surgery.”
But Ryuji couldn’t choose.
Because he didn’t know who had caused this.
And if he got the surgery, not only would he be bed bound at such a crucial time, he may be left with no feelings for the person after it. What if it was one of his friends? He just got them not too long ago. He didn’t want to lose any of the bonds he had with them now!
But the alternative was death.
However, there was something he could choose now.
And that was to stay silent about his condition for now.
Because his friends had bigger and faster approaching things to worry about, and he didn’t need to add on to it.
Thankfully, the medication worked for the rest of Sae’s palace and the days that led up to the boss fight. He still had trouble catching his breath and occasionally he would spit up pieces of flowers into his sink late at night but that was the extent of it for now. Even his friends had noticed the change. He was able to use the excuse that he was on medication now, which thankfully, no one asked more about.
Futaba ended up being the first person of the group to find out.
Ironically, it hadn’t been because of her hacking or spying abilities.
Ryuji came over to the Sakuras’ house the first chance he could after Akira’s capture, which had been the evening after. The hacker had managed to get into the camera that was in the interrogation room and had been keeping an eye on their leader’s condition. It was a reckless decision for anyone to meet up together during this time, but Ryuji was a reckless individual in general. Futaba had even said that it was fine for him to visit when he asked. However, she was not around to open the door. Boss was still working at the time so he decided to let himself in.
Fear started to seep in when he saw Futaba curled up in her chair sniffling.
Once he saw what was happening on her screen, he understood why.
It had only been less than a day and Ryuji could already see various cuts and bruises on Akira’s face. He could only imagine how many other injuries were hidden under his uniform. He was currently on the ground, handcuffed and barely able to curl himself to protect his body from the physical attacks of the personnel inside. Not only did they kick and punch him but they also threw his body around like some kind of ragdoll.
The sight of this made Ryuji livid.
A scream tore through his throat as he sank to his knees. He grabbed rug tufts with shaky hands. He didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that he couldn’t hear Akira’s grunts or the words of the antagonizers, as the camera was only able to show video. He wanted to reach through the camera and pummel every single one of those guys with his pipe. He didn’t even want to use Seiten Taisei. He wanted to show each and every one of those guys hell.
Something else also tore through his throat.
Oh, he was too distracted earlier to remember his medication.
He coughed so violently that he started to see stars. Furled gray and white specks fell from his mouth. He could faintly hear Futaba calling out his own name but he couldn’t reply until he went through his fit.
“...’m fine.” He wheezed the first moment he could. As he just didn’t just expel a pile of petals on her floor.
“No, you’re not!” Futaba screamed.
“I’m better off than ‘Kira is!”
“But this is different! This is fatal!” Futaba was hysterical, nearly rocking in her seat. “I don’t want to lose you, too!”
Ryuji forced himself up to his feet and stumbled over to her chair. He started to pet her head in an attempt to soothe the crying female. ‘Kira had said something about her liking that.
“Hey. Don’t worry about me, ‘Taba.”
“H-how can you say that?”
“It looks worse than it is. I just forgot to take my medicine today. That’s all.”
“Does anyone else know about this?”
“Other than the doctor, I hope not.” Ryuji replied. “And let’s keep it that way. Please, ‘Taba .” He added when she whimpered in protest. “We need to focus on breaking ‘Kira outta there. I don’t need to distract anyone from the mission.” Ryuji looked at the screen again. The bastards were holding down Akira and he could see that one of them was injecting something in his arm. “His life is in much more danger than mine is right now.” He growled.
It took a minute, but Futaba finally gave a slow nod. However, once she wiped her face and glasses she glared at him.
“You better fix your problem soon, or else I’m telling everyone.”
Ryuji sighed.
“I…don’t even know who it is…”
Up until recently, Ryuji rarely saw Akira resting.
The country boy adapted seamlessly into Tokyo life, always keeping busy. If he wasn’t working or doing school work, he was out and about. Akira had told him many stories of the many people he had met over the months and how he found himself in odd situations. Or, on those rare occasions no one was free, he would spend training his mind or body with Morgana. Ryuji would listen attentively, believing everything that came out of his mouth. After all, Akira had the ability to work with several different personas. It made complete sense that he could get along well with different kinds of people in real life as well. Hell, their team was proof enough.
However, even though it was only for a couple or so days, being in the holding room had done a number on him. According to Futaba and the Boss, his best friend had been dropped off with several severe injuries. Takemi had diagnosed and treated as much as she could. However, Morgana had helped immensely as well. The weird cat had discovered a while back that he was able to passively heal through touch, which explained Akira’s (un)usually high vitality. After just a few days of snuggling against his owner, Akira was able to move around well enough to walk around and even explore Shido’s palace. But the Metaverse still took a lot out of him. The team had decided to really pace themselves this time in order to allow Akira to heal more.
So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when Akira had fallen asleep on Ryuji’s shoulder one sunny December afternoon.
He had been sitting next to Ryuji on the sofa, looking at his phone while the other teen forced himself through a novel needed for school. The blond would come over often on their days off to keep Akira company and to give Morgana and Futaba a break from their stir-crazy leader. Akira, already caught up with his school work that his classmates would bring him, would either help or be quiet to allow, or encourage, Ryuji to do his schoolwork.
Ryuji wasn’t surprised that Akira ended up dozing off.
A soft chuckle escaped the blond once he realized what had happened. He dutifully made himself read up until the next chapter marking before putting the book down to gaze at the sleeping teen. With how squished Akira was against him, it was good that he had not been wearing his glasses. He reached with the hand not pinned and gently brushed Akira’s hair back on his forehead.
The teen didn’t wake.
Ryuji’s eyes narrowed when he spotted a faint bruise on his temple. Even though Akira had gone through several days of treatment, there were still some remnants of his injuries. That was just how bad the mistreatment had been. Ryuji would never stop being upset by it.
Akira didn’t deserve that.
He was the guy who would stick around for his friends no matter what they needed. He was the guy who loved working at the flower shop. He was the guy that made sure his teammates had the best quality of weapons and accessories to the point they were slightly overpowered. He was the guy who would lend an ear to complete strangers. He was the guy who would hide his giggles yet boldly stare down his enemies. He was the guy who would show his concern but kept his cool until his friends were out of danger. And there were so many other reasons he was such a beautiful person.
Hell, to this day he was sacrificing his life for the greater good.
I’m sorry. He apologized silently to the snoozing teen on his shoulder.
Ryuji leaned over and pressed a kiss on Akira’s forehead.
It was only after he had done it did he realize what he did. He was too shocked at himself to even react past a gasp. What had he done? Did he really kiss his best friend? His best friend, who is a guy ?
And yet…he didn’t feel repulsed?
He looked at his friend, who seemed to glow under the afternoon sunbeams.
In fact…he wanted to do it again?
Yes.
He wanted to do it again.
In fact, he wanted to kiss every single bruise on Akira’s body. He wanted to kiss away all the injuries and the pain that rotten adults had caused him. He wanted to kiss him until all he could feel was the love that-
Oh.
He was in love with Akira.