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one life (means forever)

Summary:

High on the thrill of having contributed to taking three people's lives, he turned to Scar as his mad cackling petered out, and blurted out, "Let's get married."

Scar turned to him, and said, "What?" in between giggles, still coming down from the adrenaline rush.

Scott said, "What?" in the tone of a man who'd utterly lost the plot and wasn't sure where he'd gotten turned around.

Grian's brain screamed, WHAT?! in betrayal at what words had just come from his own mouth.

Grian replayed his words in his head, and blushed, because that had not been something he'd been intending to say. Before he could take the words back, however, Scar was nodding. "Okay, sure," Scar said casually, like it was common to be proposed to by your henchman right after you'd just blown up three people. "Like, right now?"

Grian.exe was malfunctioning. "Um, sure," he said, brain blank. "Yeah. Let's do it now."

(Or: 3rd Life SMP AU where Grian and Scar get married on top of all the other chaos happening on the server.)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Grian cackled in shock and glee, just barely glimpsing the explosion. Three death messages popped up in chat, and his laugh turned nigh maniacal from the trap actually working.

Messages began to appear in chat, from players that weren't present and had no idea how three people had just died from an explosion at the same time.

Shocked exclamations came from the other players present at the scene, Scott's disbelief ringing among the loudest. "You did not just do that, oh my god, you did not just do that," he kept repeating.

Scar's laughter rang brightly alongside Scott's words.

Grian had thought that the trap had failed. He'd been disappointed that his TNT was going to go to waste, as they had so little of it. But this... this was better than he could have imagined.

High on the thrill of having contributed to taking three people's lives, he turned to Scar as his mad cackling petered out, and blurted out, "Let's get married."

Scar turned to him, and said, "What?" in between giggles, still coming down from the adrenaline rush.

Scott said, "What?" in the tone of a man who'd utterly lost the plot and wasn't sure where he'd gotten turned around.

Grian's brain screamed, WHAT?! in betrayal at what words had just come from his own mouth.

Grian replayed his words in his head, and blushed, because that had not been something he'd been intending to say. Before he could take the words back, however, Scar was nodding. "Okay, sure," Scar said casually, like it was common to be proposed to by your henchman right after you'd just blown up three people. "Like, right now?"

Grian.exe was malfunctioning. "Um, sure," he said, brain blank. "Yeah. Let's do it now."

"Scott can officiate us, right Scott?" Scar turned to Scott, who looked between them like they were both insane.

"Do you really want to get married right now?" Scott demanded, a hysteric note colouring his tone. "You just murdered three people and stole a cookie! Jimmy just died twice in ten minutes!"

Grian's mind finally came back online, and he opened his mouth to try and backtrack on his bold proposal. Instead, he caught Scar's eyes, and saw the mischief inside them. Instead of a denial or alternate suggestion, his mouth came up with, "Yeah, why not?"

Grian screamed internally. Why was he like this? While Grian internally berated himself, he missed Scar and Scott's byplay, only jolting back into reality when Scar grabbed his forearm and tugged him in front of a makeshift cross which he'd apparently made while Grian was distracted.

Apparently just deciding to roll with it at this point, Scott cleared his throat and started his speech. "We are gathered here today to see two people who definitely deserve each other become joined in not so holy matrimony. Grian, Scar, do either of you have vows you'd like to share?"

"Grian," Scar began solemnly, "Although you may have taken my first life, you also offered yourself up to be of service, and through this pact, I got to know you and how much of an evil genius you actually are. I look forward to killing more people with you." Off to the side, someone stifled a snort. Grian didn't dare look, because if he did, he might start laughing.

Grian swallowed hard. "Scar, taking your first life was an accident. I wanted to do right by you, so I became your number two until the taking of my first life, which hasn't happened yet. So either way, I guess I'm sort of stuck with you. Still, I'm glad that we've gotten a working partnership in place, and I hope that it continues until the end," he returned.

"Right, and now for the rings," Scott stated.

"We don't have rings," Scar realized.

"I have TNT," Grian blurted out, once again not employing his brain-to-mouth filter. Scott looked like he was struggling not to facepalm.

Scar's eyes lit up. "Okay wait, pass it to me," he suggested. Grian passed both of the TNT he had left over to him, and Scar took one and passed the other back, and then turned expectantly back to Scott.

"Okay," Scott sighed, resigned. "Do you, Grian, take Scar to be your spouse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do," Grian agreed, still internally wondering if this was really happening.

"And do you, Scar, take Grian to be your spouse, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" Scott turned to Scar, who gave affirmation in the same solemn tone he'd used for his vows.

"Right. I now pronounce you married," Scott finished. Scar cheered. Grian stood there numbly, realizing that yes, he had just set up a trap, stolen a cookie, killed three people with said trap, proposed, and gotten married to Scar within the span of an hour.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I should go console Jimmy," Scott began, beginning to edge away now that his officiant duties were done. "Oh, there's Ren."

Grian turned to where Ren and Skizzle were climbing up the hill. "Scar, incoming," he warned.

"What just happened?" Ren asked when he got close enough, bewildered by the entire situation.

"Grian and I are married now," Scar announced to the world at large gleefully, still clutching TNT.

"What," Skizzle said flatly.

"It's true, I saw it happen," Big B confirmed, standing next to where Scott was slowly edging away. Grian hadn't even noticed him during the impromptu wedding, although he supposed that was who'd snorted during their vows.

"Well, I wasn't talking about that," Ren informed Scar. "I was talking about how I lost everything!"

"It wasn't- I thought the trap had failed," Grian began, feeling a vague sense of hysteria creeping up on him.

"All my stuff is gone," Ren sighed, turning to look over the cliff. The second he turned away, Scar shoved him off.

Voices overlapped each other as everyone reacted to that. In the chaos, Grian spotted Scott slipping off, and reached out to grab Scar's arm without thinking, pulling him after Scott. Scar let out a surprised yelp but went with it.

"I'm not sure Jimmy will want to see you," Scott sighed, noticing them immediately. To be fair, they hadn't been trying to be subtle. As the sounds of everyone freaking out about Ren's near second death at the hands of Scar faded into the distance, Grian let his husband (and wasn't that a strange thought) go.

"We'll try anyway," Scar said optimistically, and as had been the trend for this server ever since he accidentally killed Scar with a creeper, Grian followed.

 

After the numerous alliances, betrayals, traps, fighting, and general shenanigans that followed, Grian stood in a ring of cactus with Scar, with nothing in his inventory and no armour. The chat full of spectators urged them to fight, shouting for blood.

"Oh, this is so messed up. We're married!" Grian protested on principle. Although perhaps that wasn't the best argument to use considering they'd already been the direct cause of each other's death once each.

Scar chuckled. "Yeah this has been a great honeymoon, hasn't it?" he mused.

Grian did not want to fight Scar at this point. In fact, he would prefer to have a joint win with Scar. But the spectators had not let up on the peer pressure, despite the brief lull when those who didn't know of their marriage expressed surprise.

Scar took several moments to burn Ren's things, knowing Ren was watching them. "Well, I guess this is it," Scar said decisively. Grian panicked.

"Wait," he went.

"Yeah?" Scar asked. Grian panicked more, not having planned what to say at all.

"We never consummated our marriage," he came up with, and his brain crashed because what the hell did he just say?

He received the dubious honour of watching Scar's expression change from surprise to shock to embarrassment. "Uh," the man went, face beginning to flush.

Grian stumbled onwards, because of course he was going to dig himself a bigger hole. In for a penny, out for a pound. "So we should do that now," he explained with a shaky nod.

The chat of dead people were protesting and booing. Scar looked at him, in full shirtless glory. Grian couldn't even tell him to put on his clothes this time, since both of their inventories were empty.

Scar, still blushing, looked at the sky. Grian had no idea what he was looking at, but apparently he found some sort of resolve there, because he made eye contact again, he looked more confident. "Okay," he agreed.

Grian bluescreened a bit. Did he actually just agree? "Okay," he repeated numbly.

"Let's do this," Scar cheered. Grian could feel himself going through the five stages of grief. He mechanically pulled off his shirt, because apparently they were doing this now.

It was at this moment that their spectators seemed to realize that they were serious. Instead of frantic messages protesting against this course of action, there was a rush of notifications stating that they'd all left the server, until it was just Scar and Grian left.

Grian finally saw hope that this could be considered a joke and not a serious thing. "Great bluff," he congratulated, trying to play the whole thing off.

"Oh, it was a bluff?" Scar asked.

"Yeah, definitely," Grian squeaked. If you asked him, his voice was definitely not a much higher pitch, no, definitely not.

"We could do it anyway," Scar said, taking a step closer. "You know, for the bit."

A part of Grian's soul might have died. "For the bit?" he repeated over the sound of parts of his soul shrivelling and decaying away from the monster he'd inadvertently created.

"Yeah," Scar confirmed nonchalantly, like there was nothing wrong with that.

Grian could find many reasons why he should not be considering this. But well... "for the bit" was a compelling argument.

He thought it over some more, looking down at the ground. It would be funny. Scar saw his answer reflected in his eyes when he finally met his partner's gaze, and grinned.

 

For the month following the ending of the 3rd Life SMP, no one could look either Grian or Scar in the eyes. No one dared to ask either Grian or Scar what had happened after they'd all left. They were all afraid of the answer.

Anyone who asked about the ending of the first season of the Life Series Games to the players that had participated only got a traumatized shudder. Unless, of course, you asked Grian or Scar. Those two would just grin and change the subject.

If nothing else, the inside jokes between Grian and Scar were hilarious.

Notes:

I can't decide whether I've hit rock bottom or my peak with this one tbh