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At the time, Kaidou was truly, horrifically drunk. Absolutely plastered, totally wasted, whatever Queen would describe it as, he had ingested a truly impressive amount of sake. His memory of that time is blurred and unclear.
But he remembers leaving Onigashima, flying in dragon form to Kuri. It was report after report of Strawhat Luffy running wild in Wano, with no one there strong enough to stop him. Of course, the brat was nowhere near Kaidou’s level, but he didn’t earn his 1.5 billion berry bounty by playing nice and avoiding fights.
The fifth Emperor of the Sea, though, that Kaidou laughed at. As if a nineteen-year-old kid could rival an Emperor in power. Strawhat didn’t even hold any territory in the New World, though several islands both there and in Paradise claimed his protection.
Kaidou recalls drunkenly drifting through the air, searching for the offending rookie. He’s pretty sure his tail crushed a few officials’ houses, but that’s no great loss.
Somehow, they found out Strawhat was taking refuge in the ruins of Oden Castle. It was a good hiding place, Kaidou will give him that, at least until he blasted the entire peak off the mountain and completely obliterated what remained of the castle in his alcohol-fueled rage. The whole affair was over far too fast for him to sober up.
Too bad that bastard Strawhat died in the blast, he remembers thinking. You don’t find a billion-berry subordinate just anywhere.
Unsatisfied and still horribly drunk, Kaidou had been ready to fly back to Onigashima and get back to attempting suicide via alcohol poisoning.
At least until he feels the scream of a conqueror draw his attention. It’s impossible to ignore. His kind attract attention naturally, just through their sheer presence.
Fuck, it feels just like the last time he fought Red-Haired Shanks. That isn’t the Will of a desperate teenager, but a king, a conqueror in his own right. Kaidou’s sure it’s that old fuck Rayleigh’s fault. The man has a style to his haki, one that he passed on to his students.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t react fast enough to prevent the first giant, Armament-coated fist from slamming into his gut. Or the second. Or any of the other ones. For a moment Kaidou can almost imagine that he might die. It’s been a while since there was anyone who could do that, even longer since there was anyone who actually dared to.
But the fantasy is broken all too soon. He feels the impact of each strike, but none of the blows actually hurt him. Kaidou’s skin absorbs it all. Disappointing. His attacker slams into the ground with a flick of his tail.
He takes a moment on the ground to reorient himself. Breathes. His head spins, just a little.
“Kaidou!” someone screams with all the fury of a conqueror. “I’m right here!”
Kaidou opens one eye.
“Who the fuck are you?” he grumbles, still shitfaced.
“I’m Luffy, the man who’s going to be the Pirate King!”
Luffy.
Strawhat Luffy?
There he is, Strawhat Luffy. Dressed in a patched red kimono and wearing haki like a mantle. The infamous straw hat hanging from a string around his neck. So the little bastard survived. If nothing else, Kaidou can admire his unkillable, cockroach-like qualities.
He shifts back to human form, blindly fumbling around for his club. Kaidou pushes out with his haki, trying to simply flatten Strawhat with sheer pressure, but the brat shoves back, matching unstoppable force with unstoppable force. It’s galling, but it makes sense when Kaidou remembers that Strawhat was trained by the same bastard who taught Red-Haired goddamn Shanks.
Strawhat does… something, blowing up his body like a balloon and coating his limbs in Armament. His techniques are sure creative, if ineffective against Kaidou. The clouds haloing his shoulders and head almost make him look like an awakened Zoan-type, but that can’t be true. From the nature of his powers, he has to be a Paramecia.
The brat launches another wave of attacks, pummeling his body with armored fists. These punches are stronger than before, but still can’t push through the iron of Kaidou’s skin. But they keep hitting, and hitting, and then one catches him right under the jaw and sends him flying.
Kaidou hasn’t been sent flying in a long, long time.
Strawhat, surprisingly, doesn’t go after him once he’s down. He waits until Kaidou staggers back to his feet, bouncing on his toes with that strange technique of his. Then he winds up for another punch, one that would probably devastate his opponent if it was aimed at anyone other than Kaidou, the strongest creature in the world.
Kaidou doesn’t let him.
“Thunder Bagua!” He roars, swinging his club. Lightning crackles around him.
It connects solidly, sending Strawhat flying. The younger pirate seems to deflate, blowing around like a balloon until he lands at Kaidou’s feet, unconscious. How anticlimactic.
Strawhat Luffy isn’t strong enough to even bruise Kaidou, King of the Beasts. Not the thing that finally kills him, then. He’ll have to keep searching.
Some of his subordinates marvel at the fact that Strawhat is still breathing. “I’m not surprised,” Kaidou interjects. Oh, he’s stone cold sober now. All of his progress toward alcohol poisoning, gone just like that. “Even now, I feel like he’s glaring at me.”
It’s true. Strawhat’s face is frozen in a snarl, eyes unseeing yet firmly fixed on Kaidou.
“Send him to the labor camp in Udon. Once we break his spirit, we can get him to fight for us,” Kaidou directs. At that level of strength rivaling Queen or even King, Strawhat could be another Lead Performer.
He’s preparing to leave when he feels another burst of Will, followed by the thud of bodies hitting the ground. Kaidou looks back to see his subordinates slumped unconscious on the ground, seastone shackles in their hands. Even badly beaten and barely conscious, Strawhat is skilled enough to knock out the men trying to restrain him.
Impressive. The other Supernova, Kid, didn’t have nearly as much control of his haki. What a waste of a conqueror, to have the ability and not train it.
Well, it’s only a matter of time before their spirits break and Kaidou has a new Headliner and a new Lead Performer. He stays only long enough to see them handcuff Strawhat and start dragging him all the way to Udon.
But the fury in the brat’s gaze, and the haki he wore like the mantle of a king haunts the back of Kaidou’s mind for far longer. If only Strawhat were stronger, he could almost believe that the brat might finally kill him.
But there’s no way that this tiny nineteen-year-old is Joyboy.