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Today had not been a good day for Chuuya.
In fact, it hadn't been a good week for the redhead, and for once, he has had enough.
Giving himself a break and time to relax was something he struggled with. He had always needed to be on guard and available 24/7 to protect those he cares about ever since he can remember. However, it was a habit he was trying to work on, both for himself and so Kouyou would stop locking him in his own penthouse (sure, he could jump through one of his windows, but running into Kouyou afterwards never ended in anything good). It was difficult, and he would always tell himself that he can power through whatever is giving him trouble, but slowly, he was taking better care of himself.
This week had really proved his patience, however. One thing after another, things kept going wrong and annoying him. It was when he was trying to finish a report and stood up to stretch, knocking over his coffee in the process, and found himself way too upset over the accident, that he decided enough was enough. So, he saved his report and closed his computer, cleaned up the spilled coffee and organized the rest of his desk as much as he could, before grabbing his overcoat and headed home.
When he made it home, he was quick to change into his pajamas and ordered food rather than risk getting pissed off while cooking. He sat himself down on his couch with a glass of wine and opened a book he had been meaning to finish for quite some time.
However, as much as he tried to get through it, he found his mind still reeling from just how shitty of a week it had been. He was trying to calm down, but he honestly didn't know how. A book and some wine seemed like the right thing to do, yet he could hardly focus on his book and the wine only served as a distraction for his current inability to read. When there was a knock on the door, he thought that maybe food would solve his problems.
The mafioso was relieved that the food he ordered wasn't fucked up in some way. It was a good place that didn't have a history of messing up orders, but with his luck this week, he was scared that this would be the one time it did come wrong. He did feel a bit better after eating too, but unfortunately, it didn't solve his problems like he hoped it would.
Eventually, he gave up and put the book away, finishing his wine and deciding to go to bed early. He got ready for bed and tucked himself in, but found himself unable to sleep. He was still too awake, mind too active, and still in a bad mood. He needed to do something, but what?
He rolled onto his back and covered his face with his hands, groaning into them. He hated this. This was why he didn't like taking breaks, because they never seemed to work for him. He even called it an early night of his own accord! No one told him to take a break, he did this himself! And yet, he was miserable. It was so much easier to work through his problems and ignore them than it was to lie alone with them.
It wasn't like there was even anything particularly wrong, he had just been in a bad mood this week and nothing seemed to go right for him. Everything annoyed him, everything made his mood worse, and he wasn't sure what to do to make it better. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he would really like a hug right now.
That wasn't something he easily admitted to himself. Physical affection didn't come naturally to him. The main form of physical contact he got was through fighting, not hugs or hand holding or anything like that. Sure, sometimes his friends would hug him or grab his hand or sling their arm around his shoulders, but he never knew how to respond to it.
Whether he liked it or not, physical affection made him feel awkward. It was especially frustrating when he did want to return the gesture, but wasn't sure how to. Too many times had he tried but underestimated his own strength or was just too clueless on what to do and ended up making things weird. So, he decided that it was better to not even try, and never bothered to initiate it. No matter how much he got the urge to hug certain people, sling his arm around them, grab their hand, or anything else like that.
Which is what made his realization so annoying. Not only was he bad at physical affection, he definitely didn't know how to ask for it. Was that something he could even ask for out of nowhere like this? He couldn't really think of anyone who would just... come over to give him a hug then leave without questions. Chuuya really didn't want to deal with any questions right now.
The more he thought about it, the more people he went through in his head, the more he realized that they would all ask questions if they did come over. Even if they did decide to fulfill Chuuya's request, they would definitely question him and try to urge him to tell them what was wrong. A question he did not have an answer to, and didn't want to deal with.
When the image of a certain brunette popped into his head, Chuuya couldn't help but bark out a laugh.
Yeah, he must be truly desperate to think of Dazai of all people right now. As if he would come over to give Chuuya a hug of all things. Chuuya let out another groan as he flipped over onto his stomach, shoving his face in his pillows.
Though, much to his dismay, Dazai was the best option. The brunette had experienced first hand just how bad the redhead was at physical affection multiple times, and while he did laugh at him for it, he never actually made Chuuya feel awkward about it (at least, not more awkward then he already felt at being physically affectionate with Dazai). That, and the taller man tended to be more naturally physically affectionate than Chuuya was. Usually in the form of annoying gestures, but he still had a lot more experience than the mafioso.
The biggest thing, however, was the fact that he knew Dazai wouldn't pester him about what was wrong. At worst, he'd ask one time, then drop it once Chuuya made it clear he didn't want to talk about it. He wouldn't keep bugging him for an answer and would be quick to let it go. That is what made Chuuya not instantly disregard him as a candidate for his impromptu "I need a hug" quest.
...he wasn't seriously considering this, was he?!
He was fine, he didn't need a hug. He just needed to get to sleep. He just needed to relax. He just needed...
A walk, he decided. He would go on a walk. Or, his version of a walk at least, which tended to include flying as well.
With a huff, Chuuya pushed himself up and got out of bed. He didn't bother changing his clothes, it was late at night anyway so it would be too dark for anyone to properly see him. That, and he wanted to be comfortable, dammit. He grabbed his shoes and walked to his balcony, putting his shoes on before jumping off. It was much easier to avoid people when he took the route literally only he could take.
Chuuya didn't have a destination in mind as he began his walk. Occasionally he would walk up sides of buildings just to walk on the roofs rather then the sidewalks, before jumping back down to the sidewalk. He wandered, finding his racing mind beginning to calm down after such a bad week. The growing urge to hug someone pestered him, but he was trying desperately to ignore it.
Eventually, he found himself in a familiar area. He stopped to look around, as it was a place he recognized but not one he frequented, so it took him a second to process where he was. When he did recognize it, a lump was quick to form in his throat.
This was right near the detective agency. In fact, the dorms were right around the corner, which meant he was way too close to a certain brunette. No, he told himself, I'm not going to that bastards shitty dorm.
Despite telling himself he should leave, he didn't move from his spot on the sidewalk as he stared in the direction of the dorms. There was a tightness forming in his chest, one that urged him towards the detective he knew wouldn't pester him about what was wrong. It went to war with his mind, which was desperately trying to tell him to go home. Somehow, he found himself walking towards the dorms, while trying to convince himself that he wouldn't go there and was going home now.
Chuuya paused again, now standing behind the dorms. He stared up at one of the second story balconies, the one that was attached to Dazai's dorm. Of course he knew which dorm was Dazai's, he was his ex-partner after all. If Dazai was going to break into Chuuya's penthouse whenever he desired, the least Chuuya could know was where the bastard lived, so he could get him back whenever he had the time. He never did have the time to get his revenge, but he still retained the information nonetheless.
Once again, he was at war with himself. Did he really want to embarrass himself by showing up to Dazai's dorm unannounced like this? He hadn't seen the bastard all week, and seeing him now would take his shitty week from bad to terrible. He wasn't sure he had the patience to deal with that. Really, he should just go home and act like he never came here.
...
Chuuya let out an irritated sigh of defeat. With heavy feet, he made his way to the dorms. He walked up the side of the building and landed on Dazai's balcony, pausing again. Usually, it was Dazai showing up to his place unannounced, not the other way around. He wasn't really sure if he should just walk in or knock first.
His throat was tight and anxiety coursed through him, and he slid a hand down his face. This was stupid, but he'd already committed this much, hadn't he? Maybe he'd be willing to put up with the bastard's annoying antics if it meant he got his much desired hug in the process. All he had to do was knock...
Fuck it, why the hell should he knock? Like Dazai ever knocked whenever he came over uninvited (or even invited). With another huff, Chuuya tried the door handle. It was locked, of course, but it wasn't that difficult to open. Usually, the mafioso would break locks rather than pick them, but he decided to be nice and not break the lock. He wasn't as efficient as Dazai was, but he still managed without problems.
Finally, he opened the door and walked inside, mindful of the empty bottles that littered the floor. He wasn't too concerned with being quiet, as the chances that Dazai was asleep were very slim, but he definitely didn't want the detectives in the nearby dorms to get suspicious and come over to check on their colleague. Though, this was Dazai, so maybe they'd be used to weird noises at late hours of the night.
"Hi, animal control? Yes, a rabid dog just broke into my house, could you please come get rid of it?" A voice mumbled after Chuuya closed the door. Chuuya glanced over to the lump on the floor with a glare.
"Not a damn dog, asshole," He responded, taking off his shoes and walking over to the door to put them down. When he turned back towards Dazai, he was sitting up now. It was hard to see his expression in the dark room, but Chuuya felt naked under his gaze regardless. He guessed he wasn't trying too hard to hide his sour mood, and him coming over in the first place was probably already a give away, but it still made him uncomfortable.
"So whats Chuuya doing over at my place, hm? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" Dazai questioned, placing his elbow on his leg and resting his chin in his hand as he looked at the redhead. Chuuya shifted uncomfortably at the question. Somehow, he had forgotten to think about how he would actually ask for a hug, or how he would just initiate it.
"Maybe I thought it was time I got you back for all those times you've broken into my house, mackerel," Chuuya shrugged, taking a few steps towards the detective. Dazai's gaze followed him, almost lazily. He still seemed to be trying to figure out what was wrong, and as much as the redhead wanted to, he decided to not fight against it. There was no point in trying to hide it, after all.
Dazai hummed, but didn't otherwise say anything, waiting to see what Chuuya planned to do. Chuuya hesitated, before walking closer and sitting down next to the brunette. He pointedly avoided looking at the other man while he tried to will himself to ask the question floating around his mind, or to just act on his impulses. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Dazai tilt his head questioningly at him.
After fidgeting with his hands for a few moments, Chuuya took a deep breath before looking back up at the detective. Dazai's expression was passive, waiting for whatever the mafioso was going to do or say. Chuuya decided that words were never his strong suit, so instead of asking, he was just going to act.
The redhead shifted, grabbing the arm Dazai was resting his head on and moving it out of the way. Dazai sat up, raising a brow at him, before Chuuya practically threw himself at the brunette, wrapping his arms around him in the process. Dazai was caught off guard by the action, falling back onto his elbows.
There was a beat of silence. Then there was a laugh.
"Is this what Chibi wanted?" The detective chuckled, letting himself fall to his futon, Chuuya going with him. He wrapped his arms around the mafioso, shifting into a more comfortable position and moving the two of them onto their sides.
Chuuya was surprised at the position change, but refused to let go, and trusted the brunette with shifting them to a more comfortable position. The redhead was definitely out of his element, but the embrace was warm and comforting and he didn't want to let go now. He'd take whatever position Dazai wanted them in, as long as he didn't have to let go anytime soon.
Dazai finished shifting them around, throwing his blanket over the both of them with Chuuya's face burrowed into his chest. His arms were wrapped around the shorter man, one hand slipping up into Chuuya's hair, and their legs tangled together. He let out a sigh.
"Chuuya really is bad at this," He teased. Chuuya reached one of his hands up to hit the back of the brunette's head, earning a chuckle out of him. There was no point in trying to deny it, however. They both knew it was true.
As comfortable as it was, Chuuya did feel a bit awkward. He really wasn't used to this, and lying down wasn't what he was expecting to happen when he originally thought of this. It took him a second to realize that this is what cuddling was, and he was glad the brunette couldn't see his face as he felt his cheeks warm up.
Even though he wasn't used to this, though, it wasn't unwelcome. He closed his eyes, and slowly got himself to relax in the taller man's embrace. Dazai's fingers combing through his hair definitely made it easier to do so. It was also then that he realized he had been so caught up with hugging- cuddling with Dazai that he had momentarily forgot why he even came over in the first place.
There were many emotions swirling through his head, but it felt like with each stroke through his hair, those feelings slowly dissipated and were replaced with a warm feeling. Dazai's embrace was grounding, and it allowed him to feel more comfortable sorting through the mess of emotions hes been dealing with all week. All the stress and frustrations that have been building up within him felt more manageable like this.
"Do you want to talk about it?" The silence was broken by Dazai's voice, quiet and gentle. Despite that, the mafioso still found himself flinching slightly at the question.
"No."
Dazai hummed in acknowledgement, before nuzzling his face into the redhead's hair. Just as Chuuya suspected, Dazai didn't push for an answer and dropped it, which he was very thankful for. That, paired with the brunette's action, allowed Chuuya to finally fully relax against the taller man. The tightness in his chest dissipated, replaced with a comfortable warmth that he wasn't used to but definitely didn't dislike.
It almost made the mafioso laugh, how easily his shitty week seemed to be cancelled out by just a few minutes of lying with his ex-partner. He held back his laughter, but a smile still snuck its way onto his face. He nuzzled into Dazai's chest, and felt as exhaustion crept throughout his body. Would it really be ok to fall asleep like this? It wouldn't be the first time, but it had still been a while since the two have slept together.
Sleep was slowly getting rather difficult to ignore, however. He was warm and comfortable, and he felt safe and even cared for lying like this. They were feelings he was unfamiliar with, but dammit, did he enjoy feeling this way. He had a brief thought that maybe he should get up before he fell asleep, before quickly shoving that thought away. No, he refused to get up unless Dazai pushed him away. Which, based on the brunette's secure grip around him, didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. The two were already in this position, so why not indulge himself and let himself fall asleep like this?
It wasn't how Chuuya expected this night to go, but he was finding himself glad it had. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Dazai's cheap body wash, probably still that 3-in-1 bullshit he used when they were teens. Some things never did change, he supposed, even in the light. It was comforting, and perhaps the last thing he needed to lull him to sleep.
Chuuya awoke abruptly, eyes automatically opening even as his body wanted to protest. He had always been a light sleeper, and he could tell that something had woken him rather than him waking up by himself. The first thing he noticed was how warm and snug he was, despite definitely not being on his mattress. Something was wrapped around him, and he carefully pushed himself back to see what it was.
He blinked, memories of the night before coming back to him when he was greeted by the sleeping face of Dazai. Right. The two had fallen asleep cuddled up to each other. He felt his cheeks warm up and his heart flutter at the thought, before his thoughts were interrupted by a loud knocking. He turned his head towards the front door, where the knocking was coming from.
"Oi! Get up you waste of perfectly good bandages! You're later then normal!" The voice was muffled by the door, and if Chuuya had to guess, it was probably that blonde detective. Dazai's need for a partner that would force him to go to work was also something that would probably never change, Chuuya thought with a small chuckle. Dazai shifted next to him, but didn't wake up. After analyzing the brunette for a few moments, he confirmed that he was, actually, asleep, and not just faking it. He wondered when the last time the detective actually slept was.
There was another pounding at the door. "Dazai! Get out here already!"
Chuuya pondered his options. The urge to stay cuddled up to Dazai and ignore the man at the door was the option he wanted to pick, but he wasn't sure if it would be ideal. He wasn't sure what he would do if the blonde came in and saw Chuuya lying with his coworker. He wasn't sure how much Dazai had told the agency about his mafia days, including their partnership. That, and he wasn't sure he wanted anyone to see him lying with the brunette.
He could get up and go out the balcony before that could happen, and the detective would never know he was ever there. If Dazai was late for work, it was probably about time for Chuuya to get up anyway and start his own day. It occurred to him that today was his one day off, so sleeping in wouldn't hurt, and would be quite nice-
The doorknob jiggled, and Chuuya internally cursed as he realized he had wasted too much time thinking to get out of this. He was fast, but he would definitely get caught if he tried to leave. He resigned himself to his fate, opting to hide his face in the brunette's chest as the door swung open.
"DAZAI-"
The silence was only broken by a quiet whimper from Dazai, who tightened his grip around the redhead. Chuuya didn't budge, determined to stay in this position for however long he wanted, everyone else be damned. The tension in the air was almost suffocating, but the mafioso couldn't bring himself to care.
After what felt like an eternity, the blonde detective coughed. He let out a quiet "sorry" before Chuuya heard him step back outside, closing the door behind him. It was only after he heard the detective's footsteps walk away that the redhead finally let himself relax again. Dazai was warm and comfortable and he did not want to move right now. Besides, Dazai was actually asleep for once, and he wanted to make sure he got as much sleep as possible.
Chuuya wasn't sure how much time had passed before he felt himself being tugged back into sleep, but was disturbed by a twitching from the taller man. Chuuya opened his eyes and could feel as Dazai slowly woke up. There was a moment where his grip tensed around the shorter man, and Chuuya held back a laugh at the fact that Dazai was also caught off guard by waking up next to someone else.
Dazai's grip relaxed after realizing who he had woken up next to, and after a moment he held the mafioso tighter. Chuuya dare not admit the feelings that swirled inside him at the act.
"'Mornin, sleeping beauty," Chuuya joked, voice rough with sleep. Dazai's breath hitched ever so slightly at the nickname, his heart stuttering for a second, but he was quick to recover. The mafioso wasn't expecting that reaction, but he took note of it to use it again later. The brunette let out a content sigh.
"How long has chibi been awake?" He mumbled against red hair. This was one of those moments where Chuuya was forced to acknowledge he found something attractive about the brunette, and his morning voice was one of those things. He was quick to shove those feelings aside.
"Ever since your coworker came pounding on the door." Dazai froze suddenly, and a smirk formed on the redhead's face.
"Did he come in?"
"Mhm."
"...and you didn't leave?"
"Nope."
There were a few beats of silence before Dazai let out a groan, suddenly squeezing Chuuya almost uncomfortably.
"Is Chuuya trying to make my life hell?" The genuine annoyance in his tone made Chuuya laugh.
"You already do that yourself, mackerel. Besides, I told you last night that I wanted to get back at you for all those times you've broken into my house, yeah?"
Dazai huffed. "Chuuya was lying about that, though."
"Oh yeah? Says who?"
"We both know you were lying."
"Maybe, but like hell am I gonna let an opportunity to get back at you pass without taking it." Chuuya could envision the scowl on Dazai's face right now, and wished he could see it, but the grip Dazai had on him didn't let him move much. Well, technically he could easily overpower the weaker man, but he opted to play along.
"What was his reaction?" His tone was a bit less annoyed, but the emotion was still clearly there. Chuuya smirked.
"I think he froze in place before saying 'sorry' and leaving."
"Did he know you were awake?"
"Probably not."
"Probably not?" Dazai repeated incredulously. He let out another groan, before suddenly pushing Chuuya on his back. The redhead let out a small noise of surprise, before being greeted by the sight of Dazai hovering over him. Chuuya would have been more flustered at the position if it weren't for the absolutely amusing expression on the brunette's face. A look of pure annoyance that made the mafioso want to laugh.
"And what if I told Kouyou-neesan about this, hm? How do you think she would react?" Dazai challenged. Chuuya's smirk faltered, before narrowing his eyes at the taller man.
"Why the hell would she believe you?" The smirk that formed on the brunette's face did not mean anything good for the redhead. He knew that from years of experience.
"She'd believe me if I had proof, yes?"
"What fucking proof are you talking about?!"
"I'm sure Chuuya would love to know that, wouldn't he?"
Chuuya glared at the man still over him. He wanted to punch that cocky smirk off his face, and he nearly did before deciding against it. After studying him, he could tell the asshole wasn't bluffing.
"What the hell do you want." He gritted out, more of a statement then an actual question. Dazai smiled pseudo-innocently.
"Indulge me for the day. You have today off, right?"
Chuuya scoffed. "The hell you mean 'indulge you'? Also how the hell did you know today was my day off?!"
"You'd be getting ready for work about now. Also, I was planning on annoying you today anyway, so of course I checked your schedule for today," Dazai responded easily. Chuuya glared at him.
"You-"
Chuuya was cut off by Dazai suddenly falling onto him, nuzzling his face into the crook of the redhead's neck.
"Indulge me, Chuuya~!" The mafioso could easily identify the unspoken threat in his words, so he resisted the urge to push the brunette off of him. He groaned.
"Fine." He muttered, and felt the breath of Dazai's content sigh on his neck. The detective snuggled up to the redhead more, and Chuuya would not admit to the feelings he felt swirling in his chest. He felt a familiar anxiety mix in with those feelings, however, as he realized his arms were just awkwardly at his sides, and he wasn't sure quite what to do with them.
Hesitantly, Chuuya wrapped his arms around the taller man, and wondered if the touch was too light, or maybe too hard. Usually, Chuuya was too rough, but if anyone was used to that, it would be Dazai. Maybe he shouldn't care this much. He felt Dazai chuckle on top of him.
"Chuuya really is bad at this..."
"Shut the fuck up, bastard."
And yet neither of them made a move to change their position.
And maybe Chuuya had a new solution to his bad days.