Chapter Text
Buck was happily curled up against Tommy’s side on Tommy’s couch as they watched a movie together, when Buck’s phone started ringing. He wasn’t expecting a call from anyone, it was fairly late already. But after a second he realized it was the ringtone he had set specifically for Christopher. “Sorry Tommy I gotta get this, you can keep watching.” Buck mumbled as he pulled away from Tommy to fish his phone out of his pocket.
“No worries.” Tommy gave his boyfriend an easy smile.
Buck smiled back, then answered the call as he got up off the couch and wandered a few feet away. “Hey Chris-”
“Buck?” Christopher didn’t sound okay in the slightest. His breathing was ragged and it sounded like he had been crying if he wasn’t still shedding tears. “Can you- can you come get me?”
Buck didn’t like leaving Tommy in such a rush, but Christopher clearly needed him, and Christopher would always always come first. Buck and Eddie never talked about it, Buck and Christopher barely talked about it, but Buck loved Christopher far more than he probably ever should have allowed himself too. All because of Eddie’s stupid will, making Buck feel like he had secured a permanent role in Christopher’s life. At least, he thought that role was secure, until recent events made him question Eddie’s decision making skills when it came to his personal life, and Buck had begun doubting how secure his spot was.
“I’m coming Chris, where are you? You at home?” Buck asked as he quickly gathered the few things he had at Tommy’s. The plan had been for him to spend the night there, and as much as he did want to spend the night with Tommy, there was no way he wasn’t going to help Christopher. Something was obviously very wrong.
“Please hurry.” Christopher requested as his voice broke again and he was crying even more now. It sounded, faintly, like there was yelling in the background, but it was hard to be certain.
Buck pushed aside his own feeling of his heart breaking for Christopher. “I promise I’m coming as fast as I possibly can.” He told Chris. It wasn’t going to be as fast as if Buck was at his loft- Tommy’s place wasn’t very far from the harbor station Tommy worked at- and that damn crosstown traffic really was a bitch. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t- Dad and Marisol and-” Christopher stopped and sucked in another breath, still breathing heavy and uneven.
“Okay, Chris, it's gonna be okay. Just take a few deep breaths for me.” Buck requested. “I will be there as soon as I can possibly get there.”
“Okay.” Chris mumbled and ended the call.
Buck frowned as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.
“All good?” Tommy asked, glancing over at Buck with a facial expression far too carefree for the phone call Buck had just had.
“No. Tommy I’m so sorry but I gotta go. Christopher needs me right now.” Buck explained as he grabbed his jacket from the dining table chair he’d draped it over earlier. When Buck and Tommy agreed to a partnership- to actually be boyfriends- Buck made sure to make it very clear to Tommy what exactly Christopher meant to him and that Christopher would always be his top priority. Tommy didn’t necessarily understand but he did respect that. Tommy knew families came in all shapes and sizes and he would never ask anyone to put their family over him.
Tommy paused the show and sat up. “Everything okay babe?” Tommy’s expression shifted, picking up on Buck’s concern.
“I think he’s having a panic attack.” Buck explained as he grabbed his shoes and began pulling them on. “I don’t know where Eddie is, but I think he might be part of the problem.”
“Does that happen a lot? Christopher having panic attacks? He seemed like a pretty happy, carefree kid the few times I met him.” Tommy frowned.
“Pretty sure it’s never happened before.” Buck explained as he pulled the other shoe on. “Raincheck?” He requested hopefully. He knew their schedules didn’t line up well the next week or two, hence why they’d been doing this tonight, but a guy could hope.
“Of course.” Tommy smiled and grabbed Evan’s hand, pulling him in for a quick peck on the lips. “Drive safe please.”
Buck pecked Tommy’s lips back and smiled at him. “Always.” He agreed. Buck’s very own superhero of a boyfriend could get almost anything out of Buck with the right smile and look of affection he was giving Buck right now. But Buck had to get going, so he quickly let himself out of Tommy’s place and raced to his Jeep. He got in and began driving as fast as he could to Eddie’s house.
Buck got a lucky break driving to the Diaz house, making what had to be record time from Tommy’s apartment to Eddie’s house. He saw Eddie’s truck parked in the driveway and Marisol’s vehicle outside Eddie’s house, and then Buck realized he also saw Shannon Doppelganger- Kim - Kim’s vehicle there too. Yeah, Buck knew her car. He had watched her leave the fire station the other day. He had to, he still hadn’t been sure any of that conversation had been real, even with the very real weight of the brownie pan in his hands.
Buck already had a pretty good idea why Christopher was upset now. Buck had been worried about Eddie since meeting Shann- Kim. But now Buck was just angry- pure white hot anger ripped through his chest. It was bad enough of Eddie to cheat, and it was cheating. Even if it wasn’t physical he was having an emotional affair with Sha- Kim. But letting Christopher see Kim? That was a million times worse. That was almost- if not most certainly and entirely- unforgivable.
Buck got out of his Jeep and as he approached the house he could hear yelling. No fucking wonder Chris was having a damn panic attack. Buck didn’t need his key as the door was still open a crack, at least they weren’t yelling so loud he could hear the argument clearly through the walls.
Buck wanted to say a few choice things to Eddie too at the moment, but he didn’t. He was there for Chris right now. He could be pissed at Eddie later, and he most certainly would be.
Buck let himself into the house, where Eddie, Marisol, and Shann- Kim were all standing in the living room and yelling. Marisol was crying, Eddie was crying, Kim looked pissed and maybe even embarrassed or guilty.
“What did you think was going to happen Eddie?” Marisol yelled. “You thought you could get away with this? What was your plan?” She demanded, standing in Buck’s way from getting to the hallway and going to Chris’s room. Chris wasn’t in the living room,- and thank god for that- so he must be in his room.
“Sorry Marisol,” Buck mumbled as he brushed past her to get to the hallway. What he said had- at least- a double meaning. He didn’t have time to dwell on that. Buck knocked on Christopher’s door. “Chris? It’s Buck!” He called out.
In the living room, Eddie’s snap of a response was heard. “I don’t know!”
Buck wanted to yell at Eddie, scream at him, for what a mess he’d made and how upset Christopher was. He also wanted to comfort Eddie and help him and kick Marisol and Sha- Kim out. Buck turned his attention back to Christopher as the door slowly opened, showing Chris standing on the other side, face red and tear stained.
“You came.” Chris mumbled.
“Of course I did.” Buck nodded. He stepped into the room, shut the door behind him and pulled Christopher into a hug.
Christopher clung to Buck for dear life. “Mom’s out there.” Chris whispered, his voice breaking again as he said it. “I don’t understand.”
“I know buddy, I don’t either.” Buck didn’t know what else to say to Chris. He truly didn’t understand what the hell Eddie was doing either to be honest. Buck gently rubbed Chris’ back in a soothing gesture, though he knew there was no way he was actually going to calm Christopher down until he kid was far away from the chaos currently taking place in the living room. “Why don’t we get out of here? You can spend the night with me."
Christopher was fast to nod in agreement.
“Okay.” Buck did his best to give Christopher a reassuring smile. “You wanna pack a bag or should I?” Buck asked.
“I can.” Chris mumbled as he finally pulled away from the hug.
Buck grabbed the backpack that he knew was Chris’ sleepover backpack from where it’d been hanging the back of his bedroom door and handed it to Chris.
“Thanks.” Christopher said quietly and began stuffing things in the bag as fast as he could.
As soon as Christopher’s bag was packed Buck grabbed it and led the way out of Christopher’s room and out of the house. He positioned himself very intentionally as they approached the living room, so that Chris wouldn’t see Sha- Kim’s face again.
Chris didn’t even look at any of them as they passed through the living room and made a beeline for the door.
Buck looked over and shot Eddie a look. He might’ve been trying to portray too many things in one look, but he meant for it to say I’ve got Chris, no need to worry about him, he’ll be okay and also what the hell were you thinking- oh wait no, you clearly weren’t and last but certainly not least I’m worried about you, Eddie, and also so so unbelievably mad at you . Buck didn’t stick around long enough to see if Eddie understood everything the look had portrayed. He instead went and helped Christopher into the Jeep and once Chris was settled, Buck peeled away just a moment before Kim left Eddie’s house. Buck saw it in the rearview mirror. He prayed Chris hadn’t seen it at all.
Christopher said nothing the entire drive back to Buck’s apartment, and Buck didn’t push him to talk either. They parked at Buck’s building and Christopher made no move to get out of the Jeep, he sat there with his seatbelt still on. Buck held off on getting out of the car too.
“That wasn’t really my mom, was it?” Christopher finally asked.
“No, Chris, it was not.” Buck confirmed.
“She sounded just like mom.” Christopher said quietly. “She knew me. She called me Christopher.”
Buck took a deep breath to keep his composure, even if he really, really wanted to yell at someone or break something right now. It was bad enough that Chris had seen Kim, but she spoke to him too? What the actual fucking fuck was wrong with Eddie?
“What’s going on?” Christopher’s voice was so soft it was barely there at all.
Buck pulled together the pieces of him that were falling away from each other as his heart broke for Chris. “I wish I knew, Christopher.”
Chris was quiet for a moment. “Did you know? About her?”
Buck swallowed thickly. He didn’t want to lie to Christopher, but he didn’t know if he should tell Chris the truth either. Would Christopher be upset that Buck knew about this and didn’t say anything to anyone? Or would Christopher be glad that Buck had known about this before tonight meaning Christopher might be able to get answers to at least some of his questions.
“Buck?” Chris prompted.
“I did.” Buck said finally. “She came to the station to see your dad and I spoke to her. I thought she looked and sounded just like your mom too.”
“Why is she here?” Christopher’s voice broke as he started crying again.
“I wish I knew the answer to that Chris.” Buck told him sincerely. He truly had no idea why Kim was there, or why she was still there, or why Eddie had been reckless enough to let Chris see her. And with that haircut- it was bad enough when her hair was slicked back in a ponytail like at the station the other night. Had Kim intentionally gotten bangs- cut her hair - to look more like Shannon? The thought made Buck sick to his stomach.
Chris nodded and said nothing.
“Christopher, can I ask what happened? You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, but it’d be helpful for me if I knew.” Buck requested gently.
“Me and Marisol spent the evening together. Getting to know each other more without dad there.” Chris started. “When we got home dad was standing in the living room hugging-” Chris paused.
“Kim.” Buck supplied.
Christopher nodded slightly. “Kim. I got confused and said mom- Buck she looks just like my mom-” Christopher began crying harder.
Buck reached over and wrapped an arm around Christopher. “I know buddy. It’s okay.” He reassured Chris.
“ She said my name, she knew me. ” Christopher mumbled. “Then Marisol asked what was going on and no one said anything and she started getting angry and Kim was just staring at me. Marisol started getting really mad and yelling at dad and that made everything worse.” Christopher paused.
“I bet it did.” Buck couldn’t help but agree. Chris had been getting closer with Marisol over the last couple weeks, like how Eddie had let Ana and Christopher get close. Buck could only imagine how Marisol’s anger might have made Chris feel worse. It was no wonder the poor kid was in such a state. Buck hadn’t thought it possible, but somehow his anger at Eddie- and sorta Marisol and Kim too- was still growing.
“Then my chest started to feel all tight and I didn’t understand and it was just too much and I ran to my room. I don’t think they even noticed I left.” Chris was quiet for another moment. “I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore.”
“Okay, no more talking about it. Have you eaten?” Buck asked Christopher.
“Yeah.” Chris mumbled and nodded.
“Got room for ice cream?” Buck asked enticingly. Personally, Buck would’ve liked a few alcoholic drinks to try and cope with the events of the evening, but he wouldn’t drink while watching Christopher, and he was sure some ice cream would do them both some good.
The edges of Christopher’s mouth twisted up into the smallest smile Buck had ever seen the kid make. “Yes.”
“Alright. Let’s go in and eat some ice cream and we can watch movies or play video games, whatever you want to do.” Buck told Christopher with a smile. His emotions were all over the place right now, but he could put on a fake smile and keep himself together for Christopher. He had to. Eddie and Marisol sure as hell had dropped the ball with Christopher tonight, but Buck wasn’t going to. Christopher was a crystal ball that Buck would handle with the utmost care, not because it was fragile or delicate- though it was to an extent- but because that’s what Christopher deserved; to be cared about and taken care of with the most love and affection Buck could muster up right now.
Unsurprisingly, Chris crashed after one bowl of ice cream and about 25 minutes of the movie he’d picked. Buck carefully removed Chris’ glasses and set them on the coffee table, within Chris’s reach, then rearranged Christopher on the couch so he was sleeping laying down instead of upright. Buck moved Christopher’s crutches so they were laying on the floor in front of the couch and easily accessible, then tucked a pillow beneath Chris’ head, and covered him with a blanket. Buck then turned off the TV and the lights and went up to the loft.
Buck grabbed his phone and went to his message thread with Eddie. He didn’t know where to start, even if he had a million things he wanted to say to Eddie right now. He was so mad, and so hurt for Christopher having to go through all this, and so confused. Buck had a million questions, but he honestly wasn’t even sure he wanted any answers. It took him a while, but Buck managed to type out a message that he supposed covered all the bases of what needed to be said.
Buck : Chris is spending the night with me. He’s physically fine, but he’s not okay. You really fucked up this time, Eddie. Don’t come here. I’ll update you in the morning.
Buck then checked a message Tommy had sent him, that he was just now noticing.
Tommy : How’s Christopher doing? Any better now? What’s going on with Eddie?
Buck sighed. He hadn’t told Tommy about Kim, even though he wanted to after she’d come to the fire station. After talking with Eddie about it, Buck was worried about Eddie, but he could also tell it was something very deeply personal and hard to talk about. Buck cared about his best friend enough to not flaunt his dirty laundry to anyone, especially someone who knew Eddie.
Buck did manage to feel a little happiness over Tommy just checking in, and being worried about Christopher. It meant a lot to Buck that Tommy cared. Taylor would’ve rolled her eyes when Buck left and while she might’ve asked the same question about Christopher, it wouldn’t have been out of genuine concern like from Tommy, and she sure as hell wouldn’t have asked about Eddie. Natalia would’ve picked a fight with Buck the minute he tried to leave after Chris’ call.
Buck : Chris is better now, asleep on my couch. Long story
Buck : Sorry I had to leave. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Night Tommy
Tommy : No worries. Sleep well Evan
Buck smiled at the screen for a moment, then put his phone on the bedside table and got ready for bed. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to sleep right now, and stared up at the ceiling, replaying the events of the night over and over and over again in his head. Eddie was so so unwell right now, and also so so wrong for letting Christopher see any of that. Buck was mad at Eddie, and scared for him too, and felt so bad for Christopher. Buck wished he could take all Chris’ pain away and bear that weight of all this for the kid, but he couldn’t.
All Buck could do was try and comfort Chris and be there for him, and hope Eddie would come to his senses soon and wake up and realize what a mess he’d made so he could start working to try and fix it. Buck didn’t even know if this was something that could be fixed, or how the hell Eddie was supposed to fix it. But Eddie definitely needed to wake up and see the fucking mess he’d made of everything. Chris had a panic attack for crying out loud.
Buck shook his head dismissively, as though it was an etch-a-sketch and he could make all the thoughts disappear. It didn’t quite work that way, but it did quiet that train of thought. Buck needed to get to sleep, he needed to be well rested so he could be there for Christopher in the morning. Christopher needed him, and Buck would be there for Christopher for as long as he needed, and would do whatever Christopher asked Buck to do in order to help make any of this mess even a fraction easier to cope with.