Chapter Text
When Percy was thinking, his right eye squinted a little and he bit his bottom lip. When they were younger, Annabeth would tease him that he was going to hurt himself. Funny how now, years later and a world away, he made the same face when virtually everything was so different.
His eyes had scanned right over her without any hesitation.
He stood next to the girl who must be Reyna, staring down Jason, who was addressing the crowd of Romans about the switch. She knew Percy was sizing him up, trying to understand what was going on and finding Jason’s weak points.
He didn’t know who she was.
She felt sick. Jason had gotten his memory fully back, so they’d assumed that it would be the same for Percy. They’d been stupid, apparently.
Jason was still talking, but everything around he sounded like it was underwater now. She’d heard the speech enough that it didn’t matter (she’d written most of it). Instead, all of her senses were tuned in to Percy. He’d gotten taller, more muscular, more attractive (and was that a tattoo on his arm?) His eyes were what unsettled her the most. They were hard and cool, nothing like the playful warmth she was accustomed to. His posture was different too –– more rigid. In four years she’d never seen him stand so straight.
Reyna said something and the crowd started to move, but Annabeth felt rooted to the spot.
Percy finally noticed her staring, turning with a frown. “What?”
She dug her nails into her palm. “Nothing.”
He made that thinking face again, staring at her. He started as if he was going to say something, but decided against it and turned away.
Piper took Annabeth’s elbow and gently pulled her along.
The Roman mess hall was something she would have marveled at any other time. The sweeping pillars and rich colors and piles of food had no appeal to her today. Piper loaded Annabeth’s plate after her own, as Annabeth turned a roll over and over in her hands.
Jason relayed the quest he, Piper, and Leo had gone on to the group and then Percy started to recount the quest he’d gone on with some Romans named Frank and Hazel. It was too much and so wrong . Hearing his voice and breathing in that briney smell he’d always had and seeing him for the first time in so long all while he barely spared her a glance, wore Roman colors, spoke and moved too curtly. How they called him Perseus and how Reyna sat far too close to him than seemed entirely professional.
“’S’cuse me,” She muttered, scraping back her chair. Piper half-rose to follow her but Annabeth waved her away.
It turned out escaping into a city you didn’t know wasn’t the best move. She wove her way through stupid Romans and their stupid buildings and fortresses, all so much more aggressive and combat ready than Camp Half-Blood.
“Hey!” She heard someone yell behind her but she kept going. “Hey!” It called again and she whirled around, ready to yell at Piper or Jason or Leo or whoever else was stupid enough to follow her.
Her mouth instantly snapped shut when she saw Percy a few feet away from her. He was staring at her again, confused and intent like he was trying to do long division in his head.
“You’re… Annabeth. Right?”
Her breath caught. “Yeah.”
Even the way he said her name was different. He’d always stressed the “Anna” part before, and now he stressed the “Beth.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
Her heartbeat hammered so loudly he must’ve been able to hear it. “D-Do you remember me?”
“No,” he said carefully. “I heard that girl say your name.”
Her heart dropped back into her stomach.
“You’re just... familiar.” He continued. “You knew me? Didn’t you? Back at... Camp...”
“Camp Half Blood.” She supplied quietly. “And yeah. I did.”
“Were we...close?”
She forced herself to look anywhere but him. “Yeah.”
“Oh.” He said. “I’m sorry I can’t remember you,” he added after a heavy, awkward pause.
“It’s okay,” She mumbled, trying to fight the spasms as her lungs started to hyperventilate.
“I knew I recognized you,” He tried. “Out at the ship. When you were glaring at me, it was kind of a deja-vu thing.”
She stared at the toes of her sneakers.
“Did Jason get all his memories back?”
She nodded numbly. Out of her peripherals, she could see Percy awkwardly shift on his feet. The silence got more awkward and suffocating by the second.
“Why’d you follow me?” She finally snapped her head back up to look at him.
He opened and closed his mouth, a habit that, when they were younger, she used to say made him look like a goldfish. “I don’t know.” He confessed. “I just... There’s something...” He suddenly flushed and shrugged.
“What?” She pressed.
He paused for even longer. “I can’t explain it,” he settled on. “There’s just... something with... you...” His cheeks turned bright red and her heart skipped a beat. “I don’t know, I guess just that you’re from my... real life.”
Annabeth nodded, her chest getting tighter and tighter as she willed herself not to break down sobbing. Not here.
“I’m sorry,” Percy’s eyes widened. “I didn't mean... I don’t want...”
Gods, she’d never heard him so unsure of absolutely everything before. Sometimes she’d wished he’d think about things more, but this…
“I know.” She forced a smile. “It’s fine.”
“What’s wrong?” He took a tentative step towards her.
She shook her head and shrugged helplessly. “ Everything .”
His eyebrows were so scrunched together now and she fully wanted to sob.
“Seeing you... like this. It’s a lot.” She said. (A vast understatement.)
“Oh. Yeah.” He nodded, clearly for her benefit as he tried to keep up with her. Now that look was familiar.
“You can’t remember anything ?”
Percy shook his head. “I woke up and all I knew was my name. Perseus.”
“Percy.” The correction slipped out before she registered it.
He frowned. “What?”
“Percy. Your name is Percy.”
The blank look on his face made her feel like her insides were all tying together.
“Maybe before.” He finally said.
That was all she could take. His eyes widened in mild panic when Annabeth finally sobbed. He took a step towards her and she flinched. She clapped a hand over her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to pull it together dammit .
“D-Don’t you care at all ?” She gasped out.
“I...” He gaped like a fish. Fitting. “I mean, I don’t know what my life before was. So I didn’t know I had a nickname. I, um, I didn’t know it meant so much.”
“It’s not just the stupid nickname , Seaweed Brain! It’s all of this!”
“What?”
“This is all wrong! None of this is you.”
“No, before. What’d you call me?”
Her chest fluttered, a caged bird of hope starting to stretch its wings. “Seaweed Brain?”
Percy bit his lip. “Yeah––it––never mind.”
“What is it?” She pressed.
“I don’t know.” His eyebrows furrowed. “It just... I don’t know. Did people actually call me that? I mean I’ve been kind of slow with the amnesia thing but...”
“No, um, just me.”
She watched him carefully for any sign of recognition, anything she could work with but all he said was, “Oh.”
“I’m, um, I should go. Talk to my... group.” Annabeth didn’t really want to be grilled by Piper right now but anything would be better than this.
“Oh. Right.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Annabeth,” he called after her when she ducked past him. “I’m sorry.”
She frowned. “For what?”
He gestured vaguely. “Just... I wouldn’t really know right now but I feel like it would suck to have a friend not remember you.”
She swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded silently.
“And we’re going to have to go on this whole quest together, well, all seven of us. I don’t want you to be... uncomfortable or anything.”
The thought was insane. Uncomfortable around Percy who’d been her home since she was twelve-years-old. (But he didn’t know that).
“I’m trying.” His eyes held hers, bright and earnest. “Really. I want to remember.”
She blinked back tears and nodded again.
“See you later, Annabeth.”
Gods, she wanted to pull him as tightly as she could and never let him go, never let him out of her sight again. She wanted to grab his face and kiss him until he remembered her. She desperately wanted to give Hera a good sock in the face and scream at how unfair this all was. But instead she nodded once. “See you––” (She couldn’t call this person Percy, but she couldn’t look into those eyes and call him Perseus ). “See you.”
They left a smoking New Rome behind on the Argo II. Like it wasn’t enough that the love of Annabeth’s life didn’t know who she was, she now had to worry about making enemies of a highly trained army—and the fact that Percy seemed to be an enthusiastic member of it wasn’t helping. Hazel and Frank had to hold him back as he yelled at Leo, and Annabeth thought back to all the other times Percy had gotten this angry, this protective (many of them because of her). This time, she had nothing to do with it. She was powerless, and worse, his anger may even have extended to her—she wasn’t on his side this time.
So, at first, Annabeth avoided him like the plague. The mere sight of him was enough to put her on the edge of tears, so she spent all of her time with Piper, or at the engine room with Leo. They let her, because her broken heart was clear as day. Percy would sometimes ask her for help, or tell her someone needed to talk to her, and she would answer monosyllabically, avert her eyes, tell him she was busy. This made Frank and Hazel not like her very much—why would she be so rude to their friend? She didn’t have the heart to explain or defend herself. The entire situation was already humiliating enough.
That first night, she was in her cabin, scanning Daedalus’ laptop for anything on the Mark of Athena, when she heard a knock on her door.
Presuming it would be Piper, she called out, “Come in.”
A much taller figure walked in instead. Percy was wearing an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt, probably because he found it among the clothes Annabeth had packed for him. This would have been heartwarming if it didn’t sting so much.
“Sorry to intrude,” he said.
She shook her head. “No worries.”
Percy looked around and scratched his head awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable. “I, uh, wanted to ask you something?”
Annabeth raised her eyebrows. “What is it?”
“Before… you know, before I lost my memories. You said we were close?”
She felt her chest filling up with dread. “Yes.”
“How– how close? What were we to each other?”
“Nobody’s told you?”
He shrugged. “To be honest, I tried to ask Piper, but she said I should ask you directly.”
Annabeth took a deep breath, trying to keep her cool. “Well, you’ve probably guessed it already, but we were dating.”
The weight of the statement seemed to dawn on Percy, still leaning against the doorway.
“I… I figured,” he said, and when Annabeth didn’t respond, he continued. “I guess it’s probably not helpful if I keep apologizing.”
Annabeth let out a dry laugh. “It really isn’t.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
In spite of herself, anger bubbled up in Annabeth’s chest, especially because she knew the answer was no. There was no way to fix it, and yet there he was, being everything she wanted but not at all at the same time.
“I don’t know, Perseus, what do you think? If it was you, and the person you loved disappeared for months, and you looked for them, for months, and when you finally find her, she doesn’t know who you are. What would you have me do?”
He seemed taken aback by her sudden explosion. Annabeth immediately regretted her tone, but it was too late, and what would be the point of apologizing?
Percy sighed. “I– I don’t know.”
“I don’t know either,” she said and returned her attention to her laptop screen.
From her peripheral vision, she saw Percy shift on his weight. “Okay. I’ll, um, see you around, Annabeth.”
Though she couldn’t see his face as he said this, she knew exactly what it looked like from the tone of his voice—a little sad, a little confused. She’d seen it a lot. When he closed the door, she put her face in her hands and sobbed.
Piper was ruffling through the Argo II cabinets in the small kitchen space Leo had installed in the Mess Hall. “Somebody needs to cook dinner and all we have is… canned beans and spices. Anybody know how to make this edible? Chilli or something?”
Annabeth didn’t know she was going to say it until she did.
“Percy does.”
All eyes turned to her, including Percy’s, who seemed confused but interested. “I do?”
“Um, at least you used to,” she explained, feeling her blood rise to her cheeks. “Your mom taught you to make bean dip. You used to be pretty good in the kitchen.”
The attention of the group returned to Percy. “I— yeah, I think I can give it a try. I guess they don’t deliver takeout in the sky, right?”
This earned a couple of laughs from the group, but Annabeth still wanted to bury her head somewhere. She hid in her room until the food was done and everyone sat together to eat—which she would have also skipped had they not decided the point of the team meal was a strategy meeting. Percy seldom spoke, which Annabeth was inadvertently disappointed by. At Camp Half-Blood, he always had valuable input to offer at war council, which was one of many reasons he was so well-respected as a leader. Instead, he seemed far away, distracted by something, keeping his eyes on his food (which, by the way, tasted exactly like Sally Jackson’s recipe).
Annabeth volunteered to do the dishes since she had not helped at all with the meal. It was a good, lonely distraction—that is, until Percy walked over, leaning against the counter a few feet from her.
“I don’t mean to bug you,” he said, which made Annabeth’s heart sink for the millionth time in the span of sixty minutes. Ever since their previous conversation, he had been so careful around her, treating her like she would crumble with a single wrong word. There was a wall of glass between them now, so fragile, but perfectly transparent, so Annabeth could see exactly what was on the other side.
“It’s alright. What’s up?”
“Did the food taste like you remembered?” He asked.
She looked up at him and tried for a smile. “Yeah. It was good.”
“You mentioned my mom. If you were my girlfriend, you probably know her, right?”
The smile disappeared. “I do. We’re pretty close, actually.”
Percy nodded. “Can you… can you tell me about her?”
Annabeth’s heart dropped to her stomach. Sally Jackson had always been a guiding presence in Percy’s life even when he was away on a quest or at camp, and now here he was—no mom, not even a memory of her. She put down the dish and the sponge.
“Her name is Sally. Sally Jackson. She lives in New York with your stepfather. She’s a writer… what else? She raised you all on her own, and she’s the most wonderful person I know. She’s a great cook, too—you could probably tell from the beans, but I think baking is her strong suit. Whenever I come over, she makes cookies. They’re your favorite.”
Percy listened attentively, eyes a little misty. “What else? What does she look like?”
“She has curly brown hair, pretty puffy, like yours. She’s a little shorter than me. Her eyes are blue, so not like you, but I think you look a lot like her… the nose, mostly. I think she’s very pretty.”
“Was I close to her?”
“Oh, you’re the biggest mama's boy I know,” Annabeth said, and this time, her smile was genuine. “And she loves you more than anything in the world.”
“Did you see her often?”
“Yeah. While I— while we were looking for you, I’d go over to your house pretty often and tell her how things were going.”
“That’s… that’s really nice of you.” He pondered. “Do you think I should talk to her?”
Her first instinct was to say yes, but she saw the tattoo on his arm peeking out from under the sleeve of his sweatshirt, his undeniably Roman haircut, and thought about Sally’s reaction to knowing her son was not quite her son.
“Percy, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. She knows you’re alive, I asked Hedge to make sure someone lets her know, but until you get your memories back, she’d just be—”
“Heartbroken,” Percy finished. Because Annabeth knew him better than anyone, she knew this is what he sounded like when he was trying not to cry. “You’re probably right.”
“I’m sorry,” Annabeth said. She wanted to hug him, comfort him, kiss away the quivering lip he was biting, but she dug her nails into her palms instead.
“It’s alright. Thanks for telling me all that,” he said,completely dejected.
“You’ll remember her soon. I’m sure,” Annabeth said, which was not entirely true—she was not sure, but she wanted it to be true more than anything in the world.
“Sure. I’ll see you around, Annabeth.”
She returned to her dishes, wishing he had stayed a little longer.
Percy crept his way back into Annabeth’s days, slowly but surely. She let him. However sad the insurmountable distance made her, the way her stomach dropped when he said her name, it was more sickening to have him right there and just act like he wasn’t. He was still Percy, she was still Annabeth, and they still got along like nobody else. So, in between missions, she’d let him sit with her, ask her questions, tell her stupid jokes. It was frustrating, because his memory was not getting any better, but she tried to find comfort in the fact that at least his smile was still the same.
One day, Percy found Annabeth when she was polishing her blade.
“Hey, you busy?” He asked.
“Nope,” she said, waving him inside the room with her head. “What’s up?”
“Just bored.” He sat next to her on the ground and watched her work. “Should I do that to my sword?”
“It’s magical, so probably not. I mean, you’ve had it the whole time I’ve known you and I’ve never even seen a scratch on it.”
“Oh, good.” He was silent for a few moments. “How long have you known me?”
“Since we were twelve.”
“Wow. So… you knew me when I was awkward with braces and everything?”
“You never had braces, actually. Born with perfect teeth, which is annoying.”
“What about this?” Percy said, and then pointed to one of his canines, which was crooked.
“You told me it was fine until you were attacked by the Minotaur.”
“Hah. I wonder if that’s true.”
Annabeth raised her eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Well, maybe I lied ‘cause I didn’t want a girl to think I had bad teeth. The other explanation is way cooler.”
Annabeth laughed. “I think you had other, more important things to worry about.”
He feigned an expression of shock. “Such as?”
“Well, for the first two years I knew you, I only ever saw you wear, like, two different outfits. It was either the Camp shirt, which was most of the time since we were usually there anyway, but when we weren’t, I literally only ever saw you wear the same, like, three band shirts. They don’t fit you anymore, thank gods, cause otherwise you might still be wearing them.”
Percy laughed. “Well, surely I’m a better dresser now.”
“Mostly, but you still let other people pick out your outfits.”
“Like who?”
“Your mom. Me, sometimes. I’m no fashion icon, but sometimes you simply can’t wear basketball shorts and a basketball shirt.”
He elbowed her softly, and the spot where his skin touched hers tingled. “I noticed you didn’t pack any of those.”
Annabeth tried to act like the sudden touch didn’t affect her as much as it did. “See? I’m still helping you out.”
Percy pointed to the cap hanging from the wall. “What about that hat? You’re a Yankees fan?”
“It’s a gift from my mom. It used to make me invisible, but it hasn’t worked since the gods have gone all crazy.”
“That sucks. Has my dad given me any gifts?”
“Yeah, you guys are real chummy. You know, for a godly parent.”
Percy’s smile disappeared. “Sure wish he’d help me out now.”
“With the memory thing?”
He nodded.
“I’m sure he’d help if he could. All the gods are really out of sorts now.”
“Yeah,” he said, but it didn’t seem like he was reassured. “What if he can’t for other reasons?”
Annabeth furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
Percy hugged his knees. “What if I’m doing something wrong? I mean— Jason has all his memories back. I can’t even remember my mom, all these friends you keep mentioning, and you–” He cut himself off, but Annabeth noticed the change in tone. Panic crept into his voice. “Am I being punished? Am I missing something? Annabeth, I don’t know what to do.”
Loyal, sensible Percy, always the quickest to blame himself. Annabeth could tell he had been confused and frustrated since they’d boarded the Argo II together, but she hadn’t seen him this upset yet. Up until this point, she’d been able to help, answer his questions, reassure him he had a life to go back to, but this was a question she couldn’t answer. He had done nothing wrong, and he did not deserve this.
Annabeth clenched her fists, asking herself if this was the right thing to do, but the pain of seeing Percy suffer by himself spoke louder. She took a deep breath, shuffled closer to him on the floor, and wrapped an arm around him. Her entire body tingled, and to her surprise, he sunk into her embrace, leaning his head against her shoulder. Annabeth felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she forced herself not to cry. However torturing this moment was for her, she could not imagine the despair Percy was feeling.
Torture, the thought struck her. “It’s not your fault,” Annabeth whispered.
“How can you know?” Percy asked, still leaning against her side.
“Because it’s probably mine.”
He sat up and stared at her, confused. “How could it possibly be your fault?”
“ She,” she emphasized the word, making sure he knew she meant Hera, “holds a grudge against me. I think she’s punishing you to punish me. She knows that… it hurts me too, if you’re hurt. If you don’t remember.”
Percy regarded her sadly, seemingly unsure of what to say next. “What did you do? To make her angry, I mean?”
“I refused her help once because I didn’t need it, and she’s hated me ever since.”
Annabeth expected resentment, maybe anger—after all, if she was correct, he would have gotten his memories back by now if it wasn’t for her. This is why she was surprised to see something else entirely color his expression: admiration. This was a look he reserved for very few occasions, as Percy Jackson was not easily impressed, and it made her proud to know she was often the rare recipient of his amazement. Her heart raced upon the realization that this, despite everything, was still true.
His green eyes were shining, drilling into hers, and Annabeth had to stop herself from getting closer, pulling her to him. She wanted to grab his face and say, I can fix it, and kiss him until he forgot what was wrong.
Percy suddenly averted his gaze to the ground and took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for what other people choose to do, especially when you’re the one who’s been helping me most of everyone. I don’t need to remember to know how special you are.”
I love you, Annabeth wanted to say. I’m so in love with you. Please remember.
Instead, she said, “I’m always here if you need me.”
Percy breathed deeply once more and stood up. “Thank you. Really.”
Annabeth shook her head. “Don’t mention it.”
Percy stopped at the door on his way out and regarded her for a few seconds.
“Have a good night,” he said finally and shut the door behind him.
Annabeth didn’t eat dinner with the group, or at all, and went to bed. She was tired enough that all the letters on her laptop were just floating around, so she shut it and just laid down, covering her eyes with her forearm.
She heard a knock on the door, and Piper called, “It’s me.”
“Come in,” Annabeth answered.
She felt Piper’s weight on the mattress, so she shifted aside to make room for her friend to lie next to her. Annabeth turned on her side to face her.
“So,” Piper said.
“What?”
“You’ve been hanging out with Percy a lot lately.”
Annabeth groaned and turned over again. “And?”
“ And, every time I find you at the end of the day, you’re here, sulking in bed.”
Annabeth shrugged. “I guess.”
“You know, there’s a reason people don’t stay friends with their exes. I know this is a different situation, but I’m worried about you.”
Annabeth couldn’t help but glare at Piper.
“My ex? He wasn’t just my boyfriend, Piper, he was my best friend. And he’s confused– do you know that half the time we’re talking, he’s just asking me questions? He can’t pick out his mother out of a lineup of women, doesn’t know his own address, and he needs help. He needs someone to answer his questions. Can you? Can Hazel or Frank?” She stared at Piper, daring her to say anything. “He may not be the same, but I know what he’s made of. I won’t let my best friend down when he needs me because…” Annabeth felt tears burning her eyes, “because I can’t kiss him anymore.”
Annabeth knew it was about much more than that, but the reality of what she was missing was difficult to express—and it wouldn’t prevent her from being there for him, regardless.
Piper reached out her arm and smoothed out Annabeth’s hair. “Do you think he’ll remember?”
“I don’t know. But even if he doesn’t, it hurts more to be away than to be with him, so I’m going to get used to it.”
“Are you?”
“I have to. I don’t have a choice, because,” she paused to let out a sob, “because I love him. I love him so much, Piper. What else am I going to do?”
“What’s the point of this?” Percy asked, fidgeting with the Chinese finger trap. He was lying down on Annabeth’s bunk, while she sat at her desk, legs crossed with her laptop on her knee.
“To get your fingers out of it.”
“That’s it?” He asked, and to prove his point, he pushed in the ends with his thumbs and removed both his pointers from the inside. “Kinda dumb.”
Annabeth laughed, thinking about her interaction with Frank some time earlier. “Some people can’t get it that easily.”
“What am I, a genius?” Percy asked, grinning.
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“You always discount my achievements.”
“Maybe if they weren’t Seaweed Brain achievements, I would count them.”
“Sounds like something a wise girl would say.”
Annabeth jumped in her chair, nearly pushing her laptop off. “What did you just say?”
Percy furrowed his brows. “That it sounds like something you would say?”
She searched his face for any recognition that what he had just said meant something , a sign that he remembered, and found none. A coincidence, she concluded, but a painful one.
“Right. I misheard you, sorry,” she said.
Percy sat up in bed and put away the Chinese finger trap. “That’s not a normal laptop, right?”
“No, it’s magical. It was a gift from Daedalus.”
He widened his eyes. “ The Daedalus?”
“Yeah. You were there when I got it, actually.”
“I’ve met Daedalus? Annabeth, you need to start telling me this cool stuff too.”
Annabeth laughed. “You’ve truly done many cool things. I’d take me a while.”
“I’m not busy.”
“Seriously? You want me to recount the adventures of Percy Jackson right now?”
“Uh, yeah? I’ve basically only learned depressing things about myself so far.”
“Fair enough. Well, you know that scar you have on your thigh that’s shaped like a triangle? That’s from when you fought the titan Atlas,” she said, expecting him to be excited, but instead, he blushed, which confused her until she realized the scar in question was not exactly visible to the world in most situations. It was her turn to blush. “Oh my gods. I didn’t— I’m sorry. Um, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Fortunately, Percy didn’t seem too horrified. “No, I mean… if we were dating, then, you know, makes sense.” He nodded to himself for a few seconds “Atlas.”
This made Annabeth giggle. “I’m sorry,” she said, covering her face, “it’s so stupid.”
To her relief, Percy started to laugh too. “No, it’s funny. What a unique situation to be in, isn’t it?”
“Unique is a great descriptor,” she agreed, laughing even harder. “Peculiar, even.”
For the first time in eight months, Annabeth laughed until she cried.
“I have something for you,” Percy said, plopping next to Annabeth on the mess room couch. At that time, most people had gone to sleep, but Annabeth was up studying and Percy had gone for a late night swim.
“What is it?”
He handed her what looked like a porous piece of rock that had been cracked in half. “Open it.”
She took it and opened it, and immediately understood what it was. Inside the rock was a green piece of coral, very similar to the red one Percy had given her months earlier.
“I saw you had one on your necklace, so when I found this underwater I figured you’d like it.”
Annabeth’s breath hitched. It was getting easier, slowly, to be friends with Percy, but this was a punch to the gut. She tried her best to keep her voice level.
“Thanks. This is really nice.”
Percy noticed the change in her demeanor. “What’s wrong?”
“You gave it to me,” Annabeth said, wiping a tear.
“What?”
“The red coral. It was a gift from you, when we started dating.”
“Oh.” Percy sunk into the couch. “I– I’m sorry. I just thought you’d like it. I didn’t mean… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”
He was looking at her with concern. “Do you… still want it? You don’t have to keep it.”
Annabeth thought about it, pressing the coral in her closed fist.
“Yeah, I do. I appreciate the gift, really.”
Percy held her gaze. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself.
“What’s wrong?” Annabeth asked.
“Nothing,” he lied. “I’m going to bed.”
They were almost in Rome. Annabeth felt like a dead woman walking, the way everyone was tiptoeing around her. Even though she had somewhat downplayed the stakes, she wished she had shared even less about how dangerous the quest for the Mark of Athena would be.
Percy appeared at her open bedroom door. “Can I come in?”
She motioned him inside. He closed the door, which caught her attention, but she said nothing. He was fidgeting more than usual.
“How are preparations going?”
“I’ve read everything I could find on the Mark twice over, and it’s still probably going to be nothing like what I expect.”
“What about the spiders?” He asked.
Annabeth let out a humorless laugh. “Except for that. There’s most likely going to be spiders.”
Percy nodded. “Can I sit?”
Annabeth agreed. This was strange—despite everything, they’d come quite far in the past few days, enough that she would have expected him to just sit without asking.
“Is everything okay?” She asked.
“I think so. I’ve been meaning to tell you… to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
Percy took a long breath before he started speaking. “This entire time, it’s been really confusing, like my brain is fuzzy most of the time. And talking to you is helpful, not only because, you know, you answer my questions, but being with you just makes everything seem more, I don’t know, clear. Even when I first saw you in New Rome, it felt different.”
Annabeth’s heart started to race.
“And then when you told me that I’d given you the coral when we were dating, that made me think— I didn’t give you the coral just because I thought you’d like it. I think… I think it’s because I have feelings for you.”
“Percy, stop,” Annabeth asked, her voice breaking. “You’re being mean.”
“No, I– I don’t want to. Annabeth, please listen,” he gripped her hand, forcing her to look at him. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but my head is spinning around. This is important. The part of me that doesn’t know who you are already has feelings for you, but there’s more than that, something I can’t explain. I don’t know what it is, but it’s something. When I look at you, there’s something. And it’s not like I remember, but it feels like remembering, almost. I don’t know.”
Annabeth felt every barrier she had built and stabilized in the past week breaking down. The fear, the pain, the grief flooded her. All she wanted was for Percy to love her again, but this didn’t feel right. She was sure about him, and he had a feeling . What if it proved to be wrong? What if the friendship she’d so carefully constructed with him was ruined, and she became more heartbroken than she already was? Percy sounded genuine, but every instinct in her body was telling her to run.
She took a deep breath, though she was already crying. “I would like for you to know. I can’t do with a maybe right now.”
But Percy was determined. He didn’t let go of her hand, squeezing it even tighter. “I can’t explain it, but I know. I know it’s something, Annabeth, I know it. It’s all about you, somehow.”
His eyes were desperate, and Annabeth had no idea what to say. Even if he was right and there was something she could do, if whatever he was feeling really meant something more, even then—what was she supposed to do?
“What do you want? Do you know that?” She asked.
“Maybe,” Percy replied, and Annabeth did not miss the way his eyes darted down to her lips. She felt her resolve crumbling—she couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked at her this way. “What do you want?”
She looked at him. You know.
Percy’s chest rose heavily. He lifted up a hand to her face and softly wiped a tear with his finger, and Annabeth grabbed his wrist. He looked down at her lips, more decidedly this time, then into her eyes, pleading.
Percy wouldn’t do it, Annabeth realized. It was up to her.
He was everything she wanted, and there he was, leaping right into her hands. Still, it was a bad idea—she’d tiptoed around him to avoid crashing, and this would mean throwing it all away. His green eyes burned into her. They really looked just like the sea. It was a bad idea.
Annabeth cupped the back of his neck and kissed him.
He melted into her immediately, pulling her closer by the waist. Annabeth wanted this, to be close to him, to get lost in him like she used to. Like she used to.
A burst of rationality crashed through Annabeth for a split second, and she pulled away.
“Percy,” she whispered. “Is this what you really want?”
“Yes,” he replied instantly.
“Are you sure?”
“It’s the only thing I’m sure of.”
This was enough. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him pull her closer and kiss her until she forgot every reason she had not to.
Still, she didn’t let Percy stay very long. His presence would keep Annabeth awake, and she needed sleep—which was already unlikely at that stage in the game. What’s more, she couldn’t shake the feeling she had fucked up. Leaning her head against Percy’s chest, his arm lazily draped around her and his lips resting on the top of her head—it all felt familiar, like he’d been doing it all along, but this wasn’t the Percy she was familiar with. This shouldn’t feel comfortable, she kept telling herself.
“You okay?” Percy asked, probably feeling her tense up more and more.
“Fine,” she said.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if you were right.”
“What do you mean?”
Annabeth leaned forward and buried her face in her hands. “Maybe this just makes everything more confusing. It does for me, at least.”
“I don’t feel that way,” Percy said.
“Do you remember anything?”
“No, I– I don’t remember anything, but I know in my gut that this is right. It feels like it’s supposed to happen. It’s what I feel when I’m with you. That’s still true.”
“But what does that mean, Percy?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Do you feel bad? About me?”
He looked sad and afraid, and Annabeth didn’t have the heart to make him feel guilty. She cupped his face. “I’m just scared. I have my quest tomorrow and I can’t think straight about anything right now. I think you should go to your room.”
Percy nodded and got up. “You’ll be alright, though. Tomorrow. Right?”
Annabeth shrugged. “Possibly. Everyone who’s ever tried this has failed, most of them have died. Probably more than we know, since we can’t count the people who haven’t come back to tell the story.”
Percy’s demeanor changed. “What? You never said that.”
“It doesn’t matter. I still have to do it.”
“Let me come with you, then! I can help. You shouldn’t go alone.”
“You can’t.”
“Why not?”
“You just can’t.”
“That’s insane. You’re wrong.”
Annabeth raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
“Annabeth, that doesn’t make any sense. You didn’t tell me how dangerous it was going to be, that you could—” Percy couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence, but he wasn’t done arguing. “I mean, you can take a knife for me but I can’t go with you to this deadly quest? How does that make sense?”
Annabeth felt her heart skip a beat. “Who told you about that?”
“About what?”
“The knife. That was almost a year ago.”
“Oh.” Percy said, only then realized what had happened. “No one told me.”
Annabeth stood up and grabbed his shoulders. “You remember?”
“I– I do. The bridge, and the pegasus. I remember!”
Annabeth covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh my gods. Do you remember anything else?”
Percy closed his eyes, like he was trying hard to focus. “No. That just felt like the right thing to say, and then I remembered.”
“Oh my gods.”
The moment felt fragile. She might die tomorrow, Annabeth knew. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him one last time that night.
“Wisdom’s daughter walks alone. You can’t come with me, but I’ll come back. We have more to figure out.”
Percy nodded, still a little stunned by the memory. He rubbed her hand, still on his cheek, with his thumb. “You’ll come back to me.”
The ship hummed with anxiety to see Annabeth off. Piper helped her pack, subtly using her charmspeak to help Annabeth calm down, and Annabeth pretended she didn’t notice. The other members of the seven would come around to give her words of encouragement, even Hedge stopped by from time to time to deliver advice like, “you gotta get ‘em where the sun don’t shine.” Percy had kept his distance that morning, for which Annabeth was mostly thankful, because she needed to focus.
When the time came to leave, Percy was last in the line for goodbyes. Annabeth almost didn’t notice the exchanged glances from the rest of the team when he pulled her into a crushing hug and she buried her face in the crook of his neck.
“Be careful,” he said.
“I will.”
“And good luck.”
She looked up at him. “You know, we had this good luck tradition. Before, I mean.”
Percy nodded. “What was it?”
“A kiss for good luck.”
He smiled and complied. Audible gasps were heard from the others in the deck, but Annabeth didn’t care. She always felt a little braver when Percy was around.
—
“Annabeth!” The Argo II sailed into view above her and she collapsed in relief.
“Here!” She called.
A ring ladder was thrown down and Percy was at her side in an instant, pulling her into a tight hug. She dropped her head to his shoulder and, for the first time in weeks, let herself fully sob. Percy tightened his arms around her, a hand coming up to smooth her hair.
Suddenly, Percy went rigid. His spine straightened abruptly and he took a sharp inhale of breath. Annabeth raised her head just as quickly. She started to take a step back but he kept his arms around her.
“What?” She looked over her shoulder for whatever had freaked him out.
“Annabeth,” He exhaled, barely above a whisper. (Much later she would notice that he’d stressed the Anna this time). He was staring at her with a reverence that would've made her squirm if it was anyone except Percy.
She started to ask him “what?” again, but she was yanked suddenly out of his hold and to the floor. Percy scrambled after her, grabbing her wrist and tugging her back.
“Her ankle!” Hazel screamed. “ Cut it!”
Cut her ankle? Annabeth twisted around as she slid across the crumbled floor. Wrapped around her broken ankle was a delicate string. At the other end was the pit. Tartarus. She kicked uselessly but it quickly became apparent to her that she wasn’t going to win this. Arachne wasn’t through with her yet. Annabeth was pulled over the edge. She closed her eyes, waiting for the whoosh in her stomach when she fell. When it didn’t come, she squinted up.
Percy still had her wrist in a vicious grip and was holding onto the ledge with his other hand. Hazel and Nico were at the edge, trying to reach them.
“Let me go!” She called up to him. “You can’t pull me up.”
“Never.” He was still staring at her in that way, not quite unlike how he was a twelve-year-old who’d just fought the Minotaur and she was a little brat who’d ambushed him about the summer solstice. He’d blinked at her then like she was the sun, just as he did now.
A possibility dawned on her. A dream she’d been giving up on little by little potentially coming true before her. (Now, of all times though? Seriously?)
She stared up at him, a question, and he nodded once. Despite the circumstances, her heart gushed and she felt a wave of emotion wash over her.
“You’re not getting away from me.” His grip became tighter around her wrist. “Never again.”
He remembered her.
“As long as we’re together.”