Chapter Text
“Go on now, darling. Give him a piece of your mind,” Rosie encouraged, bringing a young sinner to the entrance of her emporium. “And if he tries to fuck your sister again? Send him my way. Adulterer eyes always taste the best.”
It was as the sinner was expressing her gratitude and heading towards the exit that the door swung open, revealing a face (and voice) familiar to all of Pentagram City. Rosie’s latest client squeaked at the sight of one of Hell’s most ruthless and sadistic Overlords, but Alastor, ever the gentleman, quickly bowed out of the way, allowing the young woman to pass. “Pardon me, madam,” he hummed, watching the jittery sinner skip out with a quick thanks to the softer of the two Overlords. Stepping inside, Alastor turned to face the dazzling Rosie. “Another satisfied sinner, I presume?”
“You doubt me?” the cannibalistic matriarch scoffed with mock offense. “Glad you could make it, darling — take a seat! Tea’s almost up.” She noticed a certain shadow quickly following behind him and fluttered her fingers at it in a light wave. “Hello to you, too, darling.”
The shadow spun in delight as Alastor proceeded to sit down at their little round table by the window, reserved only for Rosie and her friends. “Hopefully this one didn’t cause you too much trouble before our weekly brunch,” he commented, setting his cane by the window.
Rosie hummed with annoyance as she came carrying a tea tray. “Not really, but I swear to you, people are really lacking common sense nowadays.”
The Radio Demon quickly thanked her as he accepted a cup of tea, watching with a glint of admiration as she moved about with grace. “It keeps you busy, does it not?”
“I suppose,” the older cannibal replied, picking out a box of angel fingers that they both loved to snack on during their get-togethers. “But these sinners nowadays! I’m tellin’ ya!” She began to set up a couple plates for Alastor and herself, using her magic to hurry things up. “Things had been a lot simpler back in my day, let me tell ya; back then, people had to learn to resolve their issues or repeatedly end up with seventy-four stab wounds to the face.”
“And now?” Alastor hummed, one leg crossed over the other.
Rosie laughed softly as she approached with their food. “Now? Now you have hypnotic TV shows telling folks it’s okay to fuck other people’s sisters.”
Alastor sneered in disgust, but refrained from tearing into the Overlord behind it all. Talking about Vox always seemed to taint his mood, and Rosie hated wasting good meat on a spoiled appetite. “Why does this sound like a recurring issue for you?”
“Because it is,” Rosie complained flatly, serving Alastor a plate of angel fingers and a piece of roasted sinner thigh, straight out of the oven. She herself had a heart carved into thin slivers and served with some baked bone marrow. Alastor’s visible delight at the sight of the food definitely brightened Rosie’s mood up by a couple notches. “Anyhow, what’s been going on with you, hon? How’s the princess? Is her little angel treatin’ her right?”
Alastor’s ear twitched as he placed a napkin on his lap, a sign of irritation. “The princess and her paramour are doing just fine, but if you’re looking for a conundrum to shake your workload up a bit, I do happen to have a problem regarding her father.”
Rosie had only just sat down when this pleasant surprise was revealed, causing her to scoot her chair in and straighten her back more hastily than she usually would. “First-hand gossip on the king of Hell himself? Why, don’t mind if I do!” She poured herself a cup of tea in preparation for the conversation ahead. “Just know that I’ll cut your eyes out and eat them for breakfast if you leave out any of the juicy details, alright?”
“I would be insulted if you didn’t,” Alastor laughed in response, cutting into his food. He seemed to mull over the issue in his mind as he took a bite, as though wondering where to start. A good sign for Rosie, undoubtedly; she loved the more tangled issues, especially if a bit of bloodshed was involved.
After finishing his bite, Alastor began with a simple, “Lucifer has been acting oddly these past few weeks.”
“Odd? Odd how?” she inquired, wondering what had their monarch in an odd state. It would have no effect on his kingdom, she was sure of it, but it was still amusing nonetheless.
Alastor sipped his tea thoughtfully. “He’s adopted a set of strange behaviors that has me suspecting that he may be trying to get rid of me somehow.”
“Very vague, Alastor,” Rosie criticized. “Give me an example. What has he done recently that stood out to you?”
The Radio Demon didn’t need to think on it for too long.“I was allowed a taste of his blood.”
Rosie’s brow flew to her hairline. “Were you now? How did you manage to pull that off?”
“That’s the issue, Rosie,” Alastor huffed. “I didn’t . In fact, if anything, I was trying to drive him away by detailing the affliction we cannibals must bear.”
He was urged to continue by another nod from his friend. “Our eternal hunger.”
“Indeed,” the Radio Demon hummed, his tea left forgotten for the most part. “We were discussing — well, it was quite one-sided — Cannibal Town’s depletion of angel meat. Because angel blood is the only substance strong enough to temporarily sate our starvation, I openly lamented the loss. Admittedly, I may have given the subject a bit of flourish when discussing my craving for ichor, but I couldn’t resist the chance to watch him squirm.”
A teasing smile found its way across Rosie’s lips. “Oh, I’d expect nothing less from my Alastor,” she giggled, easily picturing the interaction. She could see Radio Demon standing there, black sclera topped with red dials, his neck snapped, his fangs jagged and hungry, shadows dancing along the walls, a voice steeped in white noise expressing a deep hunger for angel blood to the only seraph in Hell. Such an image made Rosie want to pinch Alastor’s cheek for being so cute. “Well, don’t leave me hangin’! Did he get that disgusted look on his face? Oh, that would be hilarious.”
A curt “ha!” left Alastor’s lips as he recalled the moment fondly. “He most certainly did. Almost seemed as though he were about to spill his lunch, too.” His smile faded somewhat as that look of confusion returned. “Next I saw him, though, he approached me out on the balcony. He didn’t even greet me before he — if you would believe it — offered to let me sample his blood. He even said he wanted nothing in return.”
Rosie placed a hand on her heart, admittedly rather jealous that such an opportunity had just been handed to him. “Alastor, honey, please don’t tell me you passed him up on that offer.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to refuse even if I wanted to,” Alastor sighed, taking one of the fingers on his plate and popping it into his mouth, where it was shredded to pieces in seconds. “I was wary, wondering if this was some plot to trap me in a deal or leave me pliant for an oncoming attack. However, I consider myself more than capable of taking on these challenges given my learned experience from prior mistakes, and so I decided to take the plunge.” A smirk formed. “Quite literally. I hardly think he was expecting me to plunge my teeth into his neck.”
Rosie would have cackled in delight if not for her rampant desire to know more. “And? How was it?”
Alastor closed his eyes and let out a wistful sigh. “Even the blood of Hell’s strongest Overlords could not compare.”
“Honey.”
“It was thick, like syrup, and tasted of rich red wine.”
“Oh, honey .”
The red cannibal hummed in delight. “With notes of apple.”
Rosie placed a hand to her mouth and bowed her head. “Oh, honey, I’m so jealous.”
“Well, I might be able to snag you a sample, because the little king offered to let me have some again if I ‘need it’,” Alastor replied, much to Rosie’s shock.
“And he says he wants nothing in return?” she asked incredulously. “That sounds awfully generous of him.”
A grimace crossed the other sinner’s face. “It would seem so. Perhaps he was hoping I would develop some sort of dependency on his blood and become subservient to him.”
“My Alastor? Never.”
“Exactly,” agreed the Radio Demon with a pleased chuckle, but it soon turned bitter with frustration. “I’m straining my mind to understand why a king such as he would be so unthinking with his blood.” He sneered, eyeing his teacup with a hint of disgust towards the memory. “Why, I daresay he enjoyed the experience of being fed from.”
Rosie’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. “He what?”
Alastor scoffed, rolling his eyes as he thought back to the moment in question. “He encouraged me to drink my fill, asking if I’d had enough even after I’d pulled away. I almost felt as though he were treating me like a child.”
The older Overlord pursed her lips, suspicion creeping in. “And did he… do anything else that night?” his friend asked carefully.
Alastor considered the question for a moment. “He revealed a little later that he started listening to my broadcasts; the ones without all the screaming.” He narrowed his eyes. “And that he finds my voice soothing .” He scoffed and took another sip of tea. “Just another one of his odd behaviors he’s been engaging in.”
“Ah. I see.” Rosie finished her tea and poured herself a second cup in preparation for the conversation ahead. “That’s definitely strange, my friend. Why don’t you tell me more about these ‘odd behaviors’? When did they begin?”
Alastor nodded once and moved forward, his words curled with bitterness. “Well, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you about the ‘Adam’ incident,” he huffed, a sneer plastered across his visage. His shadow hissed at the very mention of the angel.
One leg crossing over the other, Rosie just offered a swift hum. “So this was after he healed you, then? Understandable, if you ask me. It’s so rare to see you in such a vulnerable state.”
“It is,” Alastor grumbled after indulging in another finger. “The only one who has seen me in such a way was you, and now I fear he may look upon me as though I were a helpless kitten.” He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a sigh. “I understand that the holy energy would have killed me in the end, but had I known it would lead to Lucifer’s odd behaviors, I would have taken my chances.”
“And the odd behaviors would be…?”
Alastor was swift to apologize, reuniting with his tea before it could get too cold. “So very sorry, my dear Rosie. Let me get on with it.” He paused for a quick sip before beginning his list of Lucifer’s lesser sins. “I began to notice he was becoming more tolerant of my attempts to humiliate him. Not invulnerable, of course, and he still likes to hurl his own insults my way, but there are times when he laughs at my jabs, as though they’re inside jokes. I find myself having to really try to get under his skin, something that hadn’t been a factor before.”
“Well, it’s a game to you, isn’t it?” Rosie offered as a defense. “Perhaps he’s recognized it and is playing along?”
The Radio Demon hummed. “I suppose. But it leaves me wondering if the compliments he gives me are actually back-handed insults.”
Rosie perked up. “Compliments?”
“Ah, yes, the compliments. I get ahead of myself,” Alastor murmured quickly. “He’s begun complimenting me, if you can believe it. Now, at first, it was relatively understandable; he thanked me for defending his daughter and the hotel, even if I was nearly slain in the process. I thought it strange to receive gratitude from him, but he was right in doing so. Then, he complimented my power, telling me how I’m quite an intimidating force, despite how uneven his strength is compared to mine.”
Rosie hummed, not saying anything. It seemed that someone else had figured out that the clearest way into the Radio Demon’s good graces was through his ego. Smart.
“It soon got out of hand,” Alastor continued. “Next thing I know, he’s complimenting the way I dress, my cane, my eloquence, my prowess on the piano, the way I dance—”
Black eyes widened in surprise. “He saw you dance?”
Alastor growled, crossing his arms. “It was a mingling event for the new sinners in the hotel. I provided the music through one of my radios, and he offered to dance with me.”
Rosie didn’t know what to say. “And… you took him up on that offer?”
“Tch. Of course I did,” the Radio Demon replied, as though the answer was obvious. “I was hoping it would be a battle to take the lead — to show who would be the dominant partner in such an entanglement. He put up a valiant effort to stay in control, I’ll admit, but I had him dipped by the end of the dance.”
Keeping her face straight was just about the hardest task Rosie had encountered in the past century. Oh, Alastor, bless his heart.
The expression on Alastor’s face neared a snarl. “The way he looked up at me with soft eyes and a gentle smile. Absolutely pathetic. I wonder what he was planning.”
Oh, someone had it bad.
She could see Alastor’s shadow facepalming on the wall. Okay, so she wasn’t the only one who was having to deal with this.
“So yes, he had plenty of compliments,” the stag sighed. “From my antlers to my way of dress to my power to even my height; what does it all mean?”
And he had a type , too.
“And now he’s trying to win me over with silly little treats. He always knocks on my door to offer me pancakes in the morning, he offered to make me a new cane when I had to get mine replaced, and he always has a cup of coffee ready for me when I come downstairs in the morning; that sort of thing.”
They were entering dangerously close to “simp” levels of hopeless romanticism. A part of Rosie did feel a little bad for the king, who, from what she’d heard, was endlessly devoted to his wife. Now he begged for the gaze of a demon who couldn’t return such affections.
Alastor let out a sigh, closing his eyes. “I reject them all, of course. I’m not an idiot… except for the duck. I felt like the sap would cry if I didn’t accept it, and while I always enjoy my meat well-salted, I wasn’t in the mood to pity the man.”
“A duck? Do you have it?” Rosie asked, needing to see it to believe it.
Alastor huffed. “Not on my person, but—” He looked away in subtle embarrassment as he waved a hand and summoned a small red rubber duck. “—this is it.”
Rosie picked up the rubber duck and observed it. It was the same shade of red as Alastor’s hair, with the tips of its wings and tail painted black. It had a little monocle on one eye and had a miniature version of the Radio Demon’s staff physically under a wing, a sign that the duck was made from scratch instead of just being a painted-over yellow duck. The beak was lifted into a sharp-toothed grin, the eyes were black with red dials, and the antlers resembled Alastor’s exactly.
The cannibal matriarch was stunned — this wasn’t a toy that you paint over to waste an hour or so; this was a handcrafted gift made just for the Radio Demon, its value being measured only by the heart.
“This… has a lot of care put into it,” was all she said.
Alastor raised a brow at the duck, as if only now considering the work that had been out into it. “I suppose so,” he murmured, his voice somewhat dismissive. “It’s still a symbol of a pathetic king looking to win my favor and keep me on a leash. That must be it. All he seems to want to do lately is be near me.”
By this point, Rosie wasn’t even surprised by Alastor’s cluelessness. “Is that so?”
A huff of frustration. “Very much so, I’m afraid,” he growled. “Whenever the princess holds a meeting, he insists on sitting by me on the couch. He joins me at the bar, on the balcony, during breakfast; I swear he had some influence on the others, because the room seems to clear whenever he tries to start a conversation with me! Angel and Charlie even seem to be making excuses to bring us together; I wonder what he told them.”
As a close friend and colleague, Rosie loved Alastor with all her heart, but she swore that if he jumped more than five feet in the air, his sheer density would cause a crater to form in the ground.
Rosie considered what the best way to move forward would be. “Now, Alastor, is there anything that you noticed that may explain his behavior?”
“You don’t think I’ve pondered it endlessly already?” Alastor scoffed, but still seemed to take a moment to consider the question, thinking back on his memories of the short king.
“Lucifer Morningstar is an odd creature,” he said at last. “Too emotional. I suspect he’s been having some sort of emotional crisis as of late. I’d say the quirks of his behavior didn’t start until the day of his wedding anniversary.” He let out a small sigh. “I… had a moment of weakness that day.”
Rosie blinked in surprise. She hadn’t heard of this “moment of weakness”, and Alastor told her almost everything he had issues with. “What do you mean?”
A look of hesitation crossed the younger cannibal’s face. He finished his tea and poured himself another cup before continuing. “Charlie couldn’t find her father, and so to ease her worries (and to show I was the superior mentor), I joined the search.” There was a pause, and his expression showed deep contemplation. “I found him on the roof, standing in the pouring rain, overlooking the pentagram.”
Rosie frowned and leaned back in her seat, enjoying a piece of the sinner heart she’d chopped up for herself as she allowed Alastor to tell the tale.
“I approached with my umbrella and stood beside him, informing him that his daughter was searching for him,” Alastor continued. “He lamented the loss of his wife, as though she were dead and not simply separated from him. He expressed his disappointment in himself for not being a better father, and layered within it was an unspoken hatred for his own being.”
Curious, Rosie asked, “And did you tease him for it? A prime opportunity if you ask me.”
Alastor chuckled in response, but shook his head in the end. “I highly doubted he would have retaliated if I did, but… there was something about his voice that gave me pause. It was hollow; empty in a way I find difficult to describe. It rang with a stark bleakness I’ve rarely ever heard.” His smile was now more of a grimace. “I felt like needling him at his lowest would have been… beneath me. After all, what fun is it if he’s already broken? So I simply stood by silently and listened as he remembered her. It was… painfully pitiful, but I lent an ear nonetheless until he was finished.”
“And what did you two do after?” Rosie pressed softly.
“He… gave me an odd look,” Alastor answered. “One filled with a self-loathing unbefitting of a man of his station. ‘You must think I’m pretty pathetic, right?’ he asked me. And I don’t believe I could be faulted for assuming that not all of the water running down his face was from the rain.”
Rosie tapped her teacup with a sharp nail idly. She didn’t know how she would have answered the question herself, if she were to be honest. “And… what did you say?”
Alastor was quiet for a moment before letting out a sigh. “I didn’t answer his question, for I knew he wouldn’t accept it no matter what I gave. So, I asked him, ‘All these years and you still wear your wedding band. Tell me, do you think she does the same?’”
The matriarch remained silent, urging him to continue with a lifted chin.
Alastor continued with his story. “He remained silent, so I told him, ‘If you can’t give me a clear answer to that question, then perhaps you should save yourself the trouble and devote all that angelic light and love to those who care enough to give you the time of day.’ I reminded him that Charlie, the one he was lamenting not being a proper father for, was looking for him, and then I… gave him my umbrella and left.”
‘ There it is, ’ Rosie thought to herself. To find a crack in that wall of apathy and sadism was extremely rare, but when it occurred, it always felt special, and that’s because it was. It always made one want to chase it down, as fruitless an endeavor as it was. It seemed their darling king, still with so much love to give, had become a victim caught in that endless chase.
“Anyway, his depressive mood continued for another week or so. He had quite a few nights spent on the roof, but I only spoke to him in that initial instance,” Alastor sighed, finishing up his story. “However, I would be foolish not to notice how he left that sorry state with his wedding ring absent from his finger.”
It was always beautiful when a person with an absent/deceased partner realized that they were finally ready to move on. It was a big step for Lucifer for sure, and had he been in the emporium, Rosie would have given him a big hug and a box of glazed eyes as a gift. Oh, but of course, someone as mighty as the king of Hell wouldn’t be so simple. The romance of royalty never was. They always wanted what they couldn’t have.
“So, Rosie.” Alastor straightened himself in his seat, taking his teacup and indulging in a sip. “Now that you’ve heard the tale, I come to you for advice on what to do with our little serpentine king. Please, enlighten me: why is Lucifer Morningstar acting so strangely around me?”
Rosie took a deep breath and set her cup on its saucer. “How’s the tea, darling?” she asked, hands folded on her lap.
Alastor blinked once, then twice. “Why, it’s lovely, as per usual.”
Rosie smiled sweetly. “Good. Not too bitter?”
“Not at all.”
“And how’re the fingers, dear? They taste alright?”
“They’re simply delightful.”
“Is your chair nice and comfortable?”
“The comfiest.”
“You’re all relaxed?”
“I’ve never felt so at home.”
“Lucifer is in love with you.”
Alastor spat out the tea he’d been drinking, which was quickly followed by a round of coughing so harsh you would think he was actively dying.
When he finally looked up, Alastor’s pinprick pupils had taken on the shape of radio dials, flitting back and forth rapidly in alarm. “He’s what? ”
Rosie gave her friend an amused smile. “Our darling little king is in love with you!”
Although his smile remained the same, Alastor’s eyes read of panic. His shadow almost seemed nervous as it looked between Rosie and its master. “No… surely you must be mistaken!”
She understood that he was having a hard time, but she did feel a pang of annoyance at his doubt. “Alastor, honey, when have I ever been wrong on this sort of thing?”
“I know, I know, but—” The radiostatic spiked in time with his groan. “I always thought his tastes were solely women! At least, that’s what our interactions led me to believe.”
“Honey, there is nothing heterosexual about your interactions with him.”
“I see that now, in hindsight,” muttered the Radio Demon, his pupils returning to normal. “Lucifer Morningstar, possessing an infatuation for me , of all demons.” He paused, brow furrowing, before offering Rosie another bewildered look. “Are you sure ?”
Rosie let out a dainty little sigh. “Alastor, I’m positive. Our lovely king has fallen in love with you.” She sipped her tea. “Even with that awful haircut you’ve got there.”
“Well, I just think that—” Alastor paused, glared at Rosie with narrowed eyes, and then got back on track “—I just think that he doesn’t quite understand what he’s desiring.”
“Does anyone, when it comes to love?”
Alastor scoffed. “That’s the thing,” he sneered. “I wouldn’t know.”
Rosie hummed pleasantly. “Yes, you’ve always been an arrow in the quiver, haven’t you?”
The Radio Demon stiffened, tossing Rosie an annoyed glare. “ Thank you for reminding me.”
The cannibal queen didn’t really know who had broken down what “ace” and “arrow” meant to Alastor whenever she used those analogies, but she sure knew when it had happened. Alastor had been rather upset that day, so much so that he’d actually canceled their brunch, something he rarely ever did. They never actually broached the issue before, but from the way the Alastor seemed to just roll his eyes at her repeated teasing, it appeared he’d gotten over it fairly quickly.
Though, she didn’t miss how his shadow hissed at her this time around.
After finishing another bite of his food, Alastor continued. “If it’s matters of the heart that he wants, it’s something I cannot assist him with. It’s simply not in my nature.” The corners of his smile dipped some, and yet a stiff laugh still left him. “And if it’s simply lust, then he’ll once again be disenchanted by me, because I ca— won’t give him that, either.”
Rosie’s lips drew into a pout. “Well then, I suppose all we can do is hope that Lucifer can handle rejection.”
Radiostatic pulsed in time with Alastor’s cackles, his grin only growing. “Rejection? Are you mad? I’m not going to reject him! This is the most powerful demon in all of Hell! He sat at the foot of God’s throne, and now he is casting his pathetically smitten gaze upon me ! Why, I couldn’t have dreamed of a better arrangement for me!”
A firm frown crossed Rosie’s lips. “Honey, I highly doubt it.”
“Why not?” the Radio Demon inquired, his voice taking on a rather manic edge. “It’s Lucifer , the most oblivious demon inside the pentagram. So what if I can’t offer the one thing he desires from me? With all that power on the line? I can easily fake it!”
Rosie’s eyes widened, her lips pulling back into a sneer and nearing a snarl. Very rarely did she ever become genuinely invested in the people she advised, but just the very thought of Alastor stringing along their emotionally vulnerable and clearly depressed king just for more power set her nerves alight.
What was even worse, though, was the knowledge that Alastor was nearing his limit. She knew this because she knew Alastor better than his own mother ever did, a sentiment that would have the deer’s claws around her throat if she ever shared it.
Alastor had spent so much time pretending that he wasn’t being damaged by his hunger for power — both when defending the hotel and putting himself on a leash — that he was becoming unrecognizable compared to the demon that had appeared in her domain nearly a century ago. By faking a relationship — faking who he is — he was going to destroy himself.
Rosie wasn't about to let him do that to himself.
“No, you will not !”
Alastor jumped in his seat in a rare show of surprise. “Rosie?” His voice was prickled with indignation at the aggression; the table’s tableware had clattered with Rosie’s sudden fist on the table, and the matriarch realized that she had been too passionate with her denial. Friends or not, no Overlord would be accepting of such behavior.
Rosie took in a deep breath and calmed herself, deciding to phrase everything in a way that someone like Alastor would be able to understand.
“Alastor, sweetie,” she began sweetly, noticing how the shadow on the wall seemed almost worried. “Answer me this: what do you think would happen if the king of Hell (who has only just moved on from his marriage of many millennia with a wife he loves so deeply) found out a Sinner he’s only known for a year is faking being in a relationship with him in order to manipulate him for more power.”
Alastor barked out a laugh. “Why, he would sob! To break the king’s heart in such a way would be an honor. He would surely crumble.”
“Aaaaand?” Rosie urged in a sing-song voice.
There was a pause as Alastor’s triumphant tone lessened greatly. “And… I would become a stain on the floor.”
Rosie clapped her hands as if to say “good job!” “Exactly. Not very ideal, now is it?” She giggled at Alastor’s grumbling response before lacing her fingers together on the table. “Alastor, you are one of the most devious manipulators I have ever met,” she praised. “You can outsmart the best of them, but… it’s not easy faking something you’ve never experienced, like romantic attraction.”
Alastor said nothing and looked away, as if embarrassed, something Rosie took note of and stored away in the back of her mind. “I was able to pull off faking parental love with Charlie,” he mentioned in a weak and unconvincing rebuttal.
“But Charlie is…?”
The Radio Demon sighed. “She’s incredibly naive.”
“That she is,” Rosie hummed, deciding not to bring up how Alastor’s wish to guide the young princess had a personal touch to it.
“Lucifer is a being of light and love,” she continued. “I’m sure he would be able to tell you were pretending.”
“You make it sound like an impossibility, Rosie! For that much power, I can easily put up such a front!” Alastor growled, his body growing tenser by the second. “I just have to…” He laughed. It was stilted and jerky and undeniably fake. “I mean, it’s an emotion as useless as love! It shouldn’t be that hard!”
His friend shook her head firmly. “Listen, Alastor, you don’t want to push yoursel—”
“ What do you know about what I do or do not want? ”
Rosie jumped a bit at the sudden snap, further put off by the wave of white noise that met her ears. She had to yank her hand back to avoid the snap of the shadow’s teeth at her fingers. The Radio Demon’s eyes had flicked black to red dials on black sclera, his grin so tight that she was sure it must have been an agonizing experience. Any humor that she once found in this conversation had disappeared entirely as she realized that Alastor, at that very moment, was not okay.
Alastor seemed to realize he’d lost his temper, and so that laugh returned, somehow even stiffer and faker than before. “What I want, my dear, is the power that Lucifer holds. And if it so happens that I have to…” His eye twitched and his laugh sharpened. “Then I am more than willing to throw my comforts aside. There’s no need to dwell on why the king wants companionship with me of all demons. If this is what it takes for even a modicum of the power he holds, I’ll be happy to accommodate! More than happy, in fact! I mean, it’s not as though I haven’t already debased myself for power — this is nothing . All I have to do is pretend I'm in love with Lucifer Morningstar and not think about… why .”
Rosie’s brow knitted as she slowly asked, “Why what, Alastor?”
“Why?” He looked as though he were in physical pain. “Everything was going so well! I was happy with our bitter relationship! I don’t completely hate his presence; I even found our spats to be quite fun! To be able to manipulate and enrage a creature who could so easily crush me under their thumb is quite thrilling, even! So… why? ” He swallowed. “Why don’t people just understand that I… I can’t ?”
Rosie finally understood now. In fact, she’d seen this exact situation with Alastor before. It wasn’t the first time he had been completely content with a relationship, only for the man on the other end to move forward with a request for more. Alastor had reacted so poorly to that last incident that it ended a friendship of a couple decades. Rosie had never seen him in a more manic state in the following weeks.
(Alastor would never admit to wishing he could go back and change what he’d said and done.)
Now it was happening again, but unlike last time, Alastor couldn’t just abandon the hotel and force himself to avoid those thoughts of self-loathing.
“Love is like that, Alastor,” Rosie sighed at last, stirring her tea idly. “It latches onto people, even if we know it’s won’t work out.”
Alastor’s smile somehow tightened further, and she wondered how his lips weren’t tearing at being strung so taut. “But I don’t want this!”
“And no one’s forcing you to do anything, Alastor!” Rosie assured him, trying to calm the rigid Radio Demon as the cracking of growing antlers could be heard. It did the trick, but Alastor kept his head down, a distinct look of shame present over his features; a shame brought on by a stigma from his time period, one that would ruthlessly debase him because he couldn’t form romantic connections. Rosie didn’t understand until that very moment, but Alastor hadn’t taken the discovery of key parts of his identity very well. He came from a time period where love was so overblown that the idea of even getting to the age of twenty-five without a partner was considered taboo. To hear about the beauty of love and the light it would bring his soul for over a century, waiting to come across the right person to be that piece of the puzzle to complete him and make him feel ways only his mother had, only to realize that it was never even possible for him to begin with; Rosie didn’t envy Alastor in the slightest.
“Darling, I—”
Alastor laughed again, this one freely manic. “You know, Rosie, I would have greatly preferred if you’d just told me he was trying to kill me,” he giggled, looking back up at her with whirling red dials and teeth clenched so tightly that it was a wonder how they didn't shatter. “At least that’s something I know! It may not be something I can handle , but at least I can navigate it!”
“Alastor…”
He forced another laugh, his ears pinning back and his antlers sprouting from his head at a rapid rate. His shadow took on a more monstrous form, reflecting a quickly fracturing mental state. “It figures this would happen. I’ve torn my way to the top, slaughtered Overlords and trapped thousands of souls for my radio broadcasts, and now Lucifer Morningstar, the devil himself , is handing me his power on a silver platter, and all he asks for is the one thing I can’t give! ”
“ Alastor. ”
His next laugh was far more deranged, the feedback of the radio growing to a fever pitch as the dial pupils spun uncontrollably. “I mean, I’ve always been perfectly fine with everyone thinking I’m a monster — because I am — but the king of Hell… I can imagine the disgust when he finds out that this is not of my own design; that I’m just defective, that there’s something WRONG with me!”
“ ALASTOR! ”
Rosie’s deafening roar shook the tables around them and sent a shiver down the spines of anyone who just happened to hear it, but more importantly, it snapped Alastor out of his spiral. He stared at Rosie in shock, having rarely ever seen her more demonic traits as an Overlord put on display. Even his shadow shrunk away at the sight, a frown present on its face.
Rosie was quick to shrink her teeth back to normal size and snap her bones back into place, closing her eyes and letting out a curt sigh. She then lifted her gaze to look the Radio Demon in the eye, but he had turned his head away. “Alastor, look at me,” she ordered, her words firm and uncompromising.
Alastor’s ears, still pinned back, twitched in response, but he kept his head down.
Rosie’s eyes narrowed. She did not like being ignored. “Alastor. Look. At. Me .”
With a wince, Alastor forced himself to meet her eyes. The dials were still spinning, though their tempo had decreased significantly. The antlers were still thrice as large as they usually were, but thankfully she had stopped him before his body had gotten any larger. The radio was still blaring, but Rosie was able to speak past it and directly to her friend.
“Nothing about your feelings is ‘wrong’,” she assured him, her voice soft, but unwavering. “The only thing that could ever be considered ‘wrong’ with you is that you’re a manipulative, sadistic sociopath who kills and eats people.” She offered a smile. “And if I remember correctly, you’re damn proud of that.”
The chuckle that left Alastor was still stilted, but it was far more genuine.
“Alastor, what you feel is the same as Charlie being in love with a woman, or Lucifer swinging both ways; what you feel is normal ,” Rosie continued.
“What I feel would have been considered a mental illness back in my time,” Alastor scoffed.
She gave him an incredulous look. “So? What’s the issue? That’s never stopped you before! You bask in how fucked up you are, darling.” She pointed to their half-finished meal. “We are cannibals , Alastor. And if everyone at the hotel is able to accept that as a part of you, then they're not going to judge you for something you can’t control.”
Alastor was silent, but had begun running his clawed thumb over his cheek in contemplation, no doubt reminding himself of a time where he was ostracized for something else he had been unable to control. By now, most of his more monstrous features had receded, a sign that his friend was on the right path.
Rosie decided it was best that she continue. “Now, I know you want power, but you’ve hurt yourself so much already for it. You lost your freedom for it; you nearly died for it. You’re going to destroy yourself if you keep pretending like you’re someone you’re not.” She took a second to let it all sink in, before going for her final message. “It’s best that you sit this one out for once. I know you’ll scheme your way to that power somehow, but I think it’s time you take care of your own needs first, alright?”
Alastor was silent, staring at his food. Even his shadow didn’t give anything away, taking in that same empty expression.
Rosie frowned. “Alastor? Speak to me, hon. I need to know that you’re okay.”
“I don’t hate the idea.”
Rosie blinked once, then twice, before raising a brow. “Pardon?”
By now, Alastor’s demonic features had completely disappeared, leaving him with a deep look of contemplation. He himself seemed to be questioning what he was even talking about, but he continued nonetheless. “I mean… now that I know what his intentions are, his actions aren’t as annoying or irritating as I first made them out to be.”
Rosie narrowed her gaze suspiciously. “Alastor…”
“I’m being serious,” Alastor promised, and for the most part, he seemed like he was being truthful. His words were spoken slowly and with hesitance, something that was very unlike the Radio Demon. It was as though he was discovering his own feelings on the subject as he told them. “I actually somewhat enjoy the attention, and it’s not like he has ended our verbal spats. He still riles me up and irritates me and makes me want to choke the life out of him; it’s something I can’t say about anyone else, and I actually find it to be quite fun.”
A smile graced Rosie’s lips, though she was still skeptical. “Is that so?”
“Quite.” Alastor seemed to regain his appetite, chewing on another finger thoughtfully. “He also has an ear for music; I’ve never been much for the fiddle, but I wouldn’t mind attempting a duet with him at some point.” The jagged edges of his grin seemed to soften some. “And he’s quite funny; not intentionally, of course. It's fairly amusing to see him flounder all his social interactions. I quite like the idea of being by his side to take over and control his meetings with other powerful individuals; I would be doing him a favor by not allowing him to humiliate himself.” His shadow chittered with amusement at his side.
Rosie decided not to interject, simply watching with fond eyes.
He sipped his tea in consideration. “I would also be allowed the opportunity to clean up his sorry state. Crying on the floor and ripping one’s own feathers out in a spiral of depression and self-hatred is not befitting a demon of his station. I could get him to sleep for once instead of wandering around the hotel at odd hours. And getting those wings groomed would allow him to at least look like a proper king.”
There was a period of silence where Alastor seemed to be searching for a stray thought, grasping at its fringes in order to properly process it. “Just as well…” He chuckled softly, as if not quite believing his own thoughts. “I’m used to lesser demons desiring me solely for my power, but Lucifer could undoubtedly end my existence with a single snap. I don’t have anything Lucifer could want. If it’s truly just my presence he desires — the return of a smile or the occasional compliment — then, I won’t lie, it’s quite… flattering.”
Alastor looked away, but he wasn’t able to hide the way the radio’s feedback dropped down to a soft, pleasant hum. “It feels… nice , even.”
Rosie’s hands were clasped together in delight. Alastor seemed much more at ease than he had when he’d first come in. Now, it was finally time to do her part and offer up her wisdom to this lost sinner. “Alastor, I’m going to give you some advice that I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed I’d be telling you.” Alastor made a small noise of interest, a gentle nudge for her to continue. “This isn’t something you can scheme and manipulate your way through.” This, of course, earned her a lightly offended look. “Hold off until I finish, darling. You’re very bright and oh so devious, but pretending to love someone for the rest of eternity, especially someone as openly affectionate as Lucifer Morningstar, isn’t something you’re equipped for. You’d be locking yourself into something pretty serious. And if he found out you were making a fool of him all that time? I doubt I’d ever see you again.” Alastor’s ears were pinned back in an unconscious show of irritation, but he acknowledged Rosie’s words as true with a nod. “So, I think that it would be best if you and Lucifer just… talked about it. Honestly .”
There was a small pause of silence as Alastor took in the words, and then he scoffed. “You make it sound easy.”
“You could always bring him back here,” Rosie suggested, though as more of a joke than not. “I’d be happy to do a bit of mediating.”
Alastor hummed in brief consideration. “As amusing as it would be to bring him into a town full of people who want to consume him, I think it best that he and I handle it alone.”
A dramatic sigh left the first cannibal Overlord. “A shame. An angel in Cannibal Town? Oh, it would have been such a delight to watch him squirm.” She winked before popping an angel finger into her mouth.
“Oh, I’ll see if I can’t convince him to come for tea. I would hope you’d do your best to make him writhe with discomfort,” he chuckled in amusement. It quickly morphed into a laugh, one that was far more relaxed and genuine than the ones before. “You know, Rosie, with how well you handle the problems of others, I’m fairly certain half of Hell would be redeemed if only you partnered with Charlie and her hotel.”
Rosie gagged in response, a look of disgust crossing her visage. “Here I am, helping you to accept yourself, and you dare to insult me?” she scoffed with mock outrage.
Alastor put a hand to his chest in faux remorse. “My apologies, Rosie. I didn’t mean to offend you by implying you could ever be a force for good.”
They shared a laugh before Alastor decided it was time to go. “I thank you for your advice once more, Rosie,” he began, rising from his seat, “but I believe it’s time that I head back to the hotel. I’ve taken up quite a bit of your time already with my drama.”
Rosie quickly checked her clock to show that they still had another half hour left before they usually ended their brunch, but she wasn’t going to fault Alastor for needing some time to stroll the streets of the Pride Ring for a good think. “You sure you don’t want me to send you back with a bottle of bloodwine as a good luck gift?”
Alastor was already picking up his plate of half-finished meat when he dismissed her offer with a wave of his hand. “Oh, you’ve already done so much for me.” Like a snake, Alastor unhinged his jaw and slid all the contents of the plate into his impossibly wide mouth. He chewed a couple times, swallowed, and daintily dabbed at his bloodied mouth with a napkin. “If anything, I should be treating you . Shall I cook for you sometime?”
“Oh, I’d never say ‘no’ to your cooking,” Rosie hummed, getting up from her chair as well. “Tell you what: you tell me all the juicy details of your little talk with the king over a couple bowls of gumbo and we’ll call it even. M’kay?”
“Of course, my dear,” Alastor agreed, allowing himself to be pulled into a tight hug and a light kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see if I can’t siphon a bit of his blood to drink along with it.”
As soon as she pulled away, his cane was in his hand and his smile was just as wide and cheerful as it had been when he’d stepped in. “You’ve been as wonderful as ever, Rosie. I shall see you next week,” he announced, turning towards the door. He took a single step before freezing, his shadow seemingly reminding him something. He quickly turned on his heel. “Ah, I almost forgot.”
Alastor reached forward and picked up the small red rubber duck that had been made for him, tucking it in an inner pocket of his coat. He glanced up to see Rosie, her hands on her heart and a big smile on her face. He narrowed his eyes. “Not a word.”
“I didn’t see nothin’,” Rosie replied, closing her eyes and looking away. A smirk still slipped across her lips as she cracked open an eye to look at Alastor teasingly. “Just like I never saw that tail of yours.”
Oh, the glare that earned her, and the hiss of his shadow was the cherry on top. “And still, no one will ever believe you,” he scoffed, before heading towards the door.
Rosie just watched her friend exit the emporium, a fond look gracing her features. She could still remember finding him like it was yesterday, lost and panicked on the streets of Cannibal Town. Now he was a powerful Overlord potentially on the arm of the king of Hell himself.
She just hoped Lucifer knew what he was in for.