Chapter Text
It was Sunday night, and this weekend, it had been Duke's turn to pick what Alfred cooked up for dinner. Mulligatawny Soup was the young boy's favorite, and it just so happened that it was also Alfred's signature dish.
"Not a bad choice Duke, not a bad choice at all," Stephanie remarked, coming up and lightly bumping him on the shoulder.
"Thanks," He responded. "I've been excited for dinner since noon!"
Stephanie grinned back, and the two made their way into the dining room, where most of the family had already gathered. Bruce sat at the head, with Damian and Cassandra on either side of him. Stephanie took the seat next to Cass, with Duke settling down on her other side. Dick sat opposite of her, next to Damian, with Jason next to him, and Tim half-asleep next to Jay.
"Glad you could finally join us," Bruce greeted them.
"Yeah, way to go dumbasses," Jason snorted. "Alfie said he wasn't gonna serve us the food before Duke came, seeing as this was his choice,"
Dick chuckled fondly. "C'mon Jay, be nice!"
"Yes, Todd. You are upsetting the mood, and I for one, would like to enjoy Pennyworth's cuisine cooking without trouble," Damian miffed.
"Screw you too Demon brat," Jason muttered.
"Brothers," Cass said firmly. "No fighting. Not now,"
"Miss Cain is correct," Alfred's British voice rang around the room. "I do believe now that everyone is here, I may serve dinner,"
"Thank you, Alfred," Bruce said gratefully, obviously out of relief that tempers had not spewed further.
The table was filled with not only soup but breadsticks, a nice Caesar salad, sticky rice, and more!
"Duke! We need you to pick dinner every night!" Dick practically begged. Sticky rice clinging to his face.
"Hands off Jason!" Tim suddenly snarled. "The last breadstick is mine!"
Jason simply waved the bread over his head. "In your dreams replacement!"
A knife flew out from Damian's hand, and the butt of it, hit Jason square in the wrist causing him to drop it directly onto Tim's plate.
The two shared a feral grin, and Tim sent half of the breadstick flying towards Damian, which the boy easily caught.
"Oh god! They teamed up! B! The end of the world is near!" Stephanie shouted, half mockingly, half fearfully.
Jason looked mildly concerned. "Hey, Old Man? I think your sons got replaced,"
"Is it really this worrisome when they team up?" Duke questioned, glancing around at his siblings.
"Yes!" They chorused. Bruce just sighed.
"All I asked for was one quiet night after the meeting with the League,"
"Ooh Ooh Ooh! What happened this time?" Dick asked excitedly.
"Barry and Hal began a debate about whether it would be possible to hideout on the Watchtower without anyone finding out,"
Tim scoffed. "That's easy!"
Bruce looked at him. "The day you or any of you, can do that for a week, I will personally tell the League that I can sing,"
Everyone stiffened. One of Bruce's most heavily guarded secrets was that, when it came to singing, he had the voice of a god.
"Is that a challenge?" Cass asked quietly.
"Pff, why not?" Bruce replied teasingly.
Before any of them could utter a sound, Bruce's personal phone for WE rang. "I have to take this," He said shortly, before promptly leaving the room.
The kids waited ten seconds before sharing smirks.
"We're going to space bitches!" Stephanie declared jubilantly.
***********
After dinner, in which the kids pointedly avoided telling Bruce about their decision, they raced up to their rooms, and each packed a small backpack with the essentials. Clothes, toothbrush and paste, comb, pillow and blanket, a stuffed animal - seeing as they all had one, - and their uniforms and spy gear.
Of course, they'd informed Alfred of the plan.
"It'll be quite peaceful I suppose," The Butler had remarked. "I'll be sure to make sure Master Bruce doesn't know for the first couple of days,"
Now, the seven of them were gathered in front of the Zeta beam, with Red Robin efficiently hacking and bypassing any and all security measures.
"Wait," Duke piped up. "Doesn't the Justice League not know we even exist?"
Red Hood winked. "That's what makes this a thousand times better. We won't just be messing with Daddybats, but also the whole League,"
"Ready Tim?" Steph asked.
"Yup. We'll be beamed up to the Watchtower, but it shouldn't announce our arrival or alert the League. Then, we can make our way over to B's quarters. He never uses them, and there is supposed to be an open ventilation shaft underneath which can serve as home base,"
Nightwing grinned, his domino mask wrinkling at the end, as his smile curved upward. "I can almost hear Bruce singing to the League right now,"
Damian chuckled. "It will be quite amusing seeing the Loser League's dumbfounded face when Father unearths his ability to produce adequate sound,"
"That's Little Brother saying, he's excited," Cass translated.
Duke's alarm for 12:00 a.m. began screeching, and he clicked 'off'.
"Time?" Nightwing asked.
"Time," Duke confirmed.
The date: Monday, July, 22th, at exactly 12:00 a.m. was when the batkids set off for space with one mission. One purpose. One combined goal:
To piss off Batman and ultimately give him a heart attack.
...
Easy enough