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It wasn’t entirely uncommon for Jūshirō to go back to his quarters at the end of a long day and find Shunsui asleep in his bed. Usually he was drunk, and Jūshirō allowed himself a moment of exasperation before he cleaned up the sake bottle and cups, and ensured that a bucket and some water was left at the bedside before spending the night in one of the guest rooms. The next morning, Jūshirō would drag Shunsui from the bed and ensure he was in the bath, cook something greasy, and they would eat breakfast together in relative silence.
In the beginning, Jūshirō had questioned Shunsui about the strange occurrence, but quickly gave up when it became apparent that he wasn’t going to get a straight answer from his best friend. So he’d kept track of dates and did some digging, and had discovered that they weren’t as random as Jūshirō had assumed.
The worst night was the anniversary of Lisa Yadōmaru’s hollowfication. On those nights Jūshirō rarely slept, too worried that Shunsui would literally drink himself to death, or choke on his own vomit. Even if he wasn’t worried about Shunsui dying during the night there would be no way he could get any worthwhile sleep, one would imagine that with that much alcohol in his system Shunsui’s sleep would be dreamless. Unfortunately, that was rarely the case. More often than not, Shunsui spent the night tossing and turning, drenched with sweat, and switching from garbled mumbles to violent shouting. To pass the time, Jūshirō would often take a damp cloth and wipe the sweat from Shunsui’s brow; the cool cloth seemed to have a soothing effect and it would buy a few moments of silence.
“Why do you do this to yourself, my friend?” Jūshirō had asked quietly one night, well aware he wouldn’t receive an answer from the unconscious captain.
It broke Jūshirō’s heart to see his friend in such a state. A century had passed since the creation of the Visoreds, yet Shunsui still carried an immense guilt about the events of that day. Whenever Jūshirō tried to bring the topic up when they were both sober, Shunsui would brush it off and find a way to change the subject. It was incredibly frustrating, to watch Shunsui carry around this guilt – even Nanao had noticed and had come to speak with Jūshirō on a few occasions about the circumstance, but there was little he could offer in terms of assurance.
“You look terrible,” Jūshirō said as Shunsui emerged from the bath one morning.
“My head hurts,” Shunsui pouted.
Jūshirō smirked, “I should think so. Grab a plate and eat as much as you like, I’m not too hungry this morning.”
“Oh?” Shunsui queried, arching an eyebrow. “Are you not feeling well?”
Jūshirō made a noncommittal sound, “I guess watching my friend drink himself into an early grave has negatively affected my appetite.”
“Yare, yare, Ukitake,” Shunsui said, leaning back from his plate. “It’s a bit early to be hitting below the belt, don’t you think?”
“A good a time as any,” Jūshirō replied lightly.
Shunsui narrowed his eyes, “Are you and my Nanao-chan in cahoots? Usually she’s the one whose concerned about my drinking.”
“She’s worried about you too, yes.”
Shunsui ran a hand through his damp hair, the first signs of frustration and discomfort beginning to show in his mannerisms.
“Listen, Ukitake-”
Jūshirō put a hand up to silence his friend, “I don’t need an explanation – I don’t want an explanation. We’ve all got our demons, and we’ve got more than most, but how long are you going to torture yourself about this? It’s not going to change anything, Kyōraku.”
Shunsui massaged his temples violently, and when he looked again at Jūshirō there was a desperation in his eyes that was frightening.
“I can see their faces every time I close my eyes. It’s not just Lisa-chan…it’s all of them, Ukitake. What kind of captain can’t protect him subordinates?”
Jūshirō refused to flinch at the last comment, although it was his first instinct. Despite his best attempts, he must have shown some reaction because Shunsui suddenly looked chastised.
“Ukitake I didn’t mean…I was just saying-”
Jūshirō smiled sadly, “I know. It’s okay – I feel exactly the same way you do. Kaien, Miyako, Lisa…it’s a long list. It’s the nature of the job, just the same as the fact that new ones have come to replace them. We have to try out best for those who are with us, just as we did those who came before them.”
Shunsui sighed heavily, “It’s such a heavy burden.”
“It’s one we share, Kyōraku. Or at least, it could be if you would share it with me. You and I both know that Yadōmaru-san would tolerate none of this self-loathing behaviour.”
Shunsui made a sound of agreement, before laughing quietly. “No, and I should be grateful – Nanao-chan doesn’t hit me as hard as Lisa-chan used to, even if she does use encyclopaedias.”
Jūshirō chuckled, “You’ve got no one to blame for that but yourself.”
“It’s surprising how fast you can go from sympathetic to apathetic, Ukitake,” Shunsui murmured.
Jūshirō grinned, but said nothing in response. Instead, his gestured to Shunsui’s plate, still half-full of food.
“Eat. I’m sure Ise-san knows exactly where you are; if you don’t eat now you might not get the chance before lunch.”
Shunsui rolled his eyes good-naturedly but ate the food nonetheless. Jūshirō was right, he’d barely swallowed the last mouthful when Nanao showed up at Ugendō. Shunsui knew better than to put up a fight, he’d find something later to tease Nanao about.
As he cleaned up the kitchen, Jūshirō felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was by no means a complete solution to the situation but it was definitely a start. He was sure that there would still be plenty of nights where he had to drag Shunsui from the bars, but hopefully there would be a decrease in the amount of self-destruction in Shunsui’s drinking.
When he finally got to his desk, Jūshirō was surprised to see a note waiting on his desk. His confusion turned to amusement as he read the note, just two words on the card:
Thank you.