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Summary
When Zhongli looks at him, there is something fundamentally jarring about the way he looks at him. He looks at him like he's rapture, like something made for vagabonds and thieves during times of war. He looks at him like how he looks at archives, a bone-deep affection that runs deeper than just the memory of a god.
This is how Childe knows they've made a mistake - that through their lying stupid deal, he finds himself too deep. That he should have known that with the risks of dealing with a god, is making him a believer in the first place
Before Osial, Childe makes a deal with an Archon: keep their positions a secret and they’ll give each other what they want. Childe wants to finish his mission. Zhongli wants… whatever the hell he wants. Childe would have figure it out long ago if the damn dragon wasn't so obstinate.
Except the longer the charade goes, the less Childe understands. Zhongli seems to want something, but he also wants Childe. This is impossible because Childe is not available. He is not lovable.
A Harbinger can only be a sinner and a God their judgement. He shouldn't want anything else. But what if he does?