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Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of We could (never) be friends
Collections:
Alaeda’s Banging Fics, Super-Duper Awesome Fics
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Published:
2024-02-02
Completed:
2024-03-13
Words:
82,162
Chapters:
160/160
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2,734
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1,539
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41,514

And I blocked him, Lute are you listening?

Summary:

Still literally just crack.

You're not supposed to give your bully your phone number. You also aren't supposed to steal your bully's girlfriend, twice. You also really aren't supposed to bully your bully.

Lucifer Morningstar has never once listened to anything he was supposed to do or not do. Not once in his fucking life.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: It's starts with the collection

Chapter Text

Little Bitch Luci

M 8:04 am

8/19



Heeeeeeey buddy

 

Luci what the fuck

do you want?

I can't shove you in another

locker without risk of being benched.

 

Why is that always your first assumption?

 

Because you're a little

bitch who likes being

shoved in lockers. I dunno.

 

This is why no one likes you. 

 

The fuck you mean? I'm

the fucking best. Star

quarterback. 

 

And you have that

cheerleader GF. Oh wait!

 

Fuck you.

She was a bitch anyway

 

I thought Eve was rather nice. 

 

Wait what

 

Oh, you didn't know. My bad.

I'll leave you be.

No cheating off of me in math again or I'll send myself to the nurse's office again.

 

NO GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE BITCH.

 

Little Bitch Luci

M 10:45 am

8/19

 

Luci where the fuck are you?

I just talked to Eve

I'm going to break every bone in that body

 

Wow rude

 

Where are you?

 

With Lilith.

 

You can't hide behind her

forever. I'll tell her what

you did.

 

You think she's unaware? 

It was her idea

 

How the fuck do you

keep stealing my girlfriends?

You're just a twink!

 

I offered to show her my rubber duck collection. 

You wanna see? 

 

No I don't wanna see it 

Is that some kind of

lame code for your balls or something?

 

No

It's an actual rubber

duck collection

What is wrong with you,

 

I'm great! I don't know

what you're talking about. 

I don't need either of

those bitches.



Danger Tits

Tu 3:12 pm

8/20

 

Hey bitch

What are you up to?

I bored

 

Just finished practice

 

Fuck yeah

Wanna do something

 

?

What about Eve?

 

She broke up with

me for that loser

morningstar 

 

Mm, what about Lilith 

 

Idk, I blocked him after

talking to him yesterday

I'll unblock him later so

I can torture him more.

What are you doing now?

 

Oh Lucifer asked me if

I wanted to see

his duck collection.

I'm rather curious. 

It's a big topic

among the girls at school.

 

No Lute! 

It's a trap 

I'm sure it's code for his balls. 

 

It's not

It's an actual collection

oh my God



Little Bitch Luci 

Tu 3:56 pm

8/20

 

What did you do to Lute????

 

Oh you again. 

I thought you blocked me.

I showed her my ducks

 

Why isn't she answering?

 

I have a lot of ducks

to look through.

 

Is this a sex thing? 

I don't understand.

 

I didn't introduce

her to my tongue

Jeez

You're more than

welcome to see my ducks

It's definitely not a sex thing.