Chapter Text
The clock was ticking tenaciously on her nightstand and Amity didn't have to look at it to know it was past midnight. Her eyes were locked on the moon, which slowly travelled through the night sky. Everything was so confusing and her mind didn't let her sleep.
Not like it wasn't obvious to her before, but now she was feeling even guiltier for the way she's been acting for years. Suddenly, the things she's been building up seemed to collapse in front of her eyes. It felt like being the Grudgby team captain was pointless. Befriending Boscha and Skara was pointless. Throwing away everything that was important to her but her parents didn't approve of, was pointless. Nothing made sense at all.
All because a human appeared and changed everything.
Amity closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was looking at the ceiling. Luz sneaking into her mind and almost making her smile with her own beam. It was all... stupid. And the worst thing is, she didn't know when exactly everything went downhill.
She knew for a fact that if her secret would be known by anyone else, she wouldn't be safe. There was no way her parents would even try to understand her. But what could she do about it? Being around Luz made her happy and nervous at the same time. And this is how they describe love in books. Isn't it just some stupid crush, though...?
She wanted answers to her questions, but not even the questions themselves existed in their complete forms in her head. Amity felt lost, but what she knew for a fact was that she needed to do something quickly or else she'd explode.
That is when Grom comes in.
Amity had a plan. A good one. At least that's what she thought two days ago during class, after Luz answered a question and her voice echoed in her head. Asking her to be her Grom date wouldn't directly mean she likes her... right? That didn't matter too much to two-days-ago Amity. But present-Amity’s insides twisted into a knot by only thinking about asking her, so what would happen when she'd actually do that? Not to mention the horrors catching up to her, if her parents would find out she likes a human . There was a line in wealth that she wasn't supposed to go under when choosing a lover, but to choose someone who's from a different realm… living with the most wanted criminal on the Boiling Isles... she didn't want to think about the nightmares that'd follow.
Speaking of which, she didn't want to think about anything. Not even Luz. She caused her enough headaches already (which she didn't mind that much actually) and she needed to rest. She only had one day before Grom and she needed to be at her best if she wanted to impress Luz.
Amity swore on the stars she saw the sun before she fell asleep; her thoughts were way too loud. Not as loud as her alarm clock a little later, but still.
She set off her alarm with a weary sigh, then took one last glance at the sky, before getting out of bed. Throughout her whole morning routine she remained silent and barely spoke with her family, apart from the strictly expected “good morning”. Ironically, no one cared enough to at least look her up and down, spending exactly one second to wonder what might go on in her head.
_._._._._._._._._._
Amity arrived just a little bit later to school than usual, because she was taking the longer way, to avoid walking with her siblings. They haven't done anything yet , but she knew they wouldn't leave her alone until they found out who she's going to Grom with. And that was something no one was supposed to know. There was a slight chance, she didn't even want Luz to know.
Her luck in avoiding her siblings lasted until after lunch. She was standing in front of her locker organising her books, when they appeared with wide grins on their faces. They didn’t say anything, until Amity finally looked at them, not even hiding how annoyed she was.
"Do you have a partner for tomorrow, Mittens?" Ed asked, leaning against the wall.
"Do you ?" she narrowed her eyes, knowing the answer damn well, however, the response surprised her.
"Actually, I do. Both Em and I have partners."
"So who's yours?" Em asked with narrowed eyes too, leaning closer, but the smile never faded from her face.
To that, Amity couldn't say anything. She blamed herself for not coming up with a lie or something to say, earlier. So, her shoulders dropped as she looked away and whispered with her voice barely audible, "I have to go."
She didn't dare to look them in the eye, so instead she turned around and rushed away. She'd deal with them later.
"I don't think anyone has asked her out," Em stated, watching their sister disappear from sight.
"Nor did she ask anyone."
They exchanged a worried look before walking to their own lockers.
_._._._._._._._._._
After her classes had ended, Amity went straight to the library. All she wanted was to be alone and to be able to focus.
She sat down at a table and tried to do her homework. It was quiet around her, yet she felt like everyone was watching her. She felt exposed and she couldn't wait to get to her secret hideaway.
After an hour or two had passed, Amity stood up and made her way to the romance section. Fortunately for her, no one was around. When the door closed behind her, she let out a frustrated sigh and slipped on the floor, hugging her knees. She definitely needed a few minutes to collect her thoughts.
I'm going to write her a letter. It's just a letter, you can do this.
She wasn't so sure about that though, after spending half an hour sitting above the paper, unable to write anything on it. The message was simple, it just needed to be formed well.
Some time later Amity realised it’d take her longer than she originally expected it to. The pictures of her mother screaming at her for disappearing without a word were haunting her mind, leaving her unable to concentrate. So she summoned her scroll and sent a text to Emira, saying she's staying at the library for a while, so they shouldn't wait for her with dinner.
Not having any more distractions, Amity finally wrote a word on the pink paper. Which definitely wasn't enough, but it was at least something. Just when she was about to touch the paper with her pen again, she got a notification from her scroll. Naturally, she dropped the pen and went to see what it was: Emira's reply. *we already got yelled at. mom thought we threw you into the wishing well again lol*
Amity rolled her eyes, but didn't reply with anything. She was about to put all her focus on the pink paper again, when she got another message. *and she's mad at you for not eating with us, how dare you. hope you're good tho*
*she'll calm down by the time i go home. and i'm good.*
Amity waited for a minute after sending the reply, and when she was convinced the conversation was over, she put her scroll away.
_._._._._._._._._._
It was the tenth pink paper she threw to the ground, with sweet words written on it with the most beautiful handwriting she could do. It was also the longest one so far. But way too cheesy. She didn't want to be straightforward, but she wanted to give a hint. How is that possible?
After the twelfth one, Amity gave up. She ran her fingers through her hair and stood up to walk around the room a little. She stepped on the papers a few times, not even bothering to clean them up. She was so troubled and in panic.
She was preparing to confess her feelings for Luz after all.
And the chances of getting rejected were way too high.
Sure, they are friends now, but... no one actually forgot about the way she was, before she gained a soft spot for Luz. She was horrible. A terrible, terrible person.
Amity hated the way she was back then.
She walked back to her desk and threw herself onto the chair. She let out a tired sigh and grabbed her glittery looking pen. I should be direct. Sweet… but direct .
"Luz, will you go to Grom with me? Amity"
She sprinkled a little of her perfume on the pink piece of paper and held it to her heart, then looked up at the ceiling, "Oh stars, please let her say yes!"
But she'll say no. Without a doubt. Honestly, what reason would she possibly have, to say yes? Amity squeezed her eyes to keep the tears from falling. She leaned on the desk and rested her head on her arms while she was sobbing. She had horrible thoughts and none of the scenarios were close to a happy ending.
She was terrified .
If she gets chosen... how will she explain all this? Is this her worst and biggest fear? Or is it her family? That would be awful too. Little Miss Perfect having issues with own parents? What a disgrace, shame and so many opportunities for gossip and people being awful to her family because of her . Amity had a lot to worry about.
And she was indeed worried sick. If her parents found out about her crush on Luz, they wouldn't have mercy on her. Being kicked out would probably be the best option. So was this whole thing about the pink letter worth it? Why bother if she's so scared? It didn't matter much though, the letter was done and for once she wanted to do something she wanted, not her parents.
And that made her feel guilty, terrified, rebellious and like she could stay in that room forever, alone, crying.
_._._._._._._._._._
It was almost nine o'clock, when she realised she should probably leave soon, as the library was closing. She put the letter in her bag, making sure it wouldn't crinkle. She left the library tired, but with happiness in her heart, since she got it done what she wanted. The light, fresh air that she breathed in, felt so good after being in closed places all day. And she was definitely going the longer way home. That had two reasons: this way she could enjoy being outside for a little longer and she could have a few more minutes alone before getting scolded by her mom.
While walking, Amity wondered what living with the Owl Lady was like. She was so resilient and seemed to be a good mother figure. Luz always looked so free and happy. Amity wanted to have that so much, but until she was living under the same roof as her parents, there wasn't really a chance for that. She knew many people wanted to be in her place, but what they didn't even care to understand was the difficult relationship between her and her parents. And even though Amity got used to the way she was treated, that didn't make it any easier.
When the Blight Manor appeared in sight, Amity felt a little nervous, mentally preparing for any possible outcomes. She tried to calm down by telling herself that getting yelled at didn't matter at all compared to what comes tomorrow. Either it'll be good or bad. If it's good, then she won't care about her parents anyway, and if it's bad, then she'll have something bigger to worry about.
Amity knew her parents would be in their room at that hour of the day and her siblings in theirs, meaning she wouldn't meet anyone until getting to her room, unless someone had to use the bathroom. She slowly and very carefully closed the front door, having absolutely no intentions to let her parents know when she actually got home. One of the abomination servants came to get her stuff from her, but she dismissed it and hoped it wouldn't get her parents attention.
Light as a feather, she climbed the stairs and made her way to her room, making no noise. Having strict parents has taught her some things, though her heart was still beating in her throat.
She calmed down a bit, after she closed the door behind herself and didn't hear anyone approaching. That didn't mean she could lower her guard, but it was still something to be grateful for.
Knowing her siblings, Amity hid the letter in a box that was behind some school papers in her study desk drawer. After that, she went to take a shower and planned to go to sleep earlier, since she needed her energy for the big day tomorrow. She was just about to knock on the bathroom door, when it opened, revealing her mom, wearing her robe and her hair down.
"You're here," she said, looking Amity up and down, disapprovingly. The lump in the girl's throat grew bigger with every passing second.
"Yes, I-"
"You could've at least come say you're home. Where are your manners?"
"I'm sorry, mom," Amity couldn't look at her anymore, instead she locked her eyes on the floor.
"Of course you are. When did you arrive exactly? And don't you dare lie to me, I know the truth."
"Why are you asking then?" the response slipped out before Amity could even think about it. She wanted to cover her mouth, but it would show weakness, meaning she couldn't even stand by her own words. She saw her mom raising her hand from the corner of her eye and Amity shut her eyes, preparing for the hit. Which - to her utter surprise - didn't come. Instead, her mom put her hand on her head and stroked Amity's hair, which made the girl feel uncomfortable.
"Oh, Mittens ... you're growing up so fast. I miss the time when you were little and listened to me. Now I'm not even sure if I know you anymore. Something has changed and I don't like it," Odalia brought her daughter in for a hug, now stroking her back. "But don't you worry... everything will be back to normal soon."
That didn't soothe Amity at all, and what's more, she just became even more nervous. If her mom finds out Luz is the reason behind her change, she'll do anything to get rid of her. Anything .
Her mother's touch just made her want to run away and Amity was sure she knew about that.
"Alright now," Odalia said, letting go of Amity. "Go take a shower and don't stay up for too long," she gave her a kiss on the top of her head, before she went to the master bedroom, smiling. Amity was sure that her mom made her uncomfortable with her fake affection on purpose.
_._._._._._._._._._
Finally standing in the shower, Amity's thoughts kept attacking her and they weren't kind at all. She imagined all the possible ways her life could go wrong in just twenty-four hours. She wanted to cry, but she also wanted to be excited. At Grom she could hang out with whoever she wanted to, her parents won't be there to control her.
Then... an image filled her mind, that hasn't appeared that clearly before, but came this time to destroy her even more. Sure, she counted on Luz rejecting her, just not on the way she'd do it. And now... she saw Luz crystal clear, standing in front of her, when she gives her the letter. She reads it and... she starts laughing. She rips the paper with the perfectly formed letters and her perfume, then says, "You really thought - she'd say while wiping away a tear from laughing so hard - I'd say yes? Oh, Amity... how did you even assume I'd keep you close to me? Did you already forget how you acted not that long ago? I don't know who'd want to be your partner, but definitely not me."
That line of thought was enough to push her into breaking down in tears, that she was holding back for a while. Amity leaned on the wall and sobbed into her hands, trying to be as quiet as possible.
But Luz... she wouldn't say anything like that. Right? She isn't like this. But even if she is... she'd be completely right.
Amity opened her eyes and looked at her hands. She clenched her fists and let out a deep breath. I am better than this. I need to stay focused.
After getting out of the shower and doing her night routine, Amity went to her room, thankfully acknowledging that she didn't see any of her family members. That, however, didn't last longer than a minute, because then she heard a quiet knock on her door, which she was obliged to open right away. She wasn't supposed to make any of her family members wait.
As she opened the door, the twins smiled at her and barged in, without saying anything.
"Come in," Amity said under her breath, rolling her eyes.
"We haven't had a chance to talk since school," Edric started, sitting on Amity's bed next to Emira, looking at his nails. "Will you honour us with an answer now?"
"Answer to what?"
Amity looked genuinely confused, but the growing red shade on her face betrayed her.
"C'mon! Who's your partner?" Em teased her, leaning forward.
"No one. Yet."
Amity looked away, not wanting to see her siblings burst out laughing and making fun of her. She was tired.
"Thought you stayed in the library to make progress. Mittens, you need to do something, unless you want to dance alone all night. Or, well, there are your friends, I guess. Hope they won't be too busy dancing with their partners."
"Okay, no need to rub it in!"
"We're just concerned about you," Edric said, holding up his arms in defence. "For real."
Amity threw herself on her bed, looking at the ceiling. As a child, she had a vision of her perfect Grom. After finding some pictures of her parents' Grom, when they were partners and wore clothes that could easily fit into a romantic movie, little-Amity wanted to have the same and couldn't wait for her time to come. However, all she had was a dress she didn't even like that much, a letter she most probably won't give to Luz and the wish to disappear from everyone's sight. Not so beautiful and definitely not as dreamy as she anticipated it to be.
"If you're incapable of asking someone out, we will."
Amity sat up in the instant and shook her head at her sister. They would probably find her someone who'd make her look bad in a way, only to have one more reason to make fun of her.
"That's not happening."
Ed and Em smirked at Amity before they wished her goodnight and left her room. For a few seconds Amity was staring at the door, but quickly blinked the zoning-out - state away and got ready for bed. She put her hair tie on her nightstand and after a moment of thinking she laid down.
Her mind was as busy as never before. It made her scared and worried and feel like the only solution was to run away. But again... that'd only mean she's weak. She still has a status in school that she must maintain, however, she wasn't so sure if she wanted that status anymore. Thinking about it more, it sounded so stupid. People being scared of her? Having friends, but knowing they're only hanging out with her because she's considered to be better than everyone else? She... wasn't even better than everyone else. Maybe I'm even worse than anyone who's going to Hexside. Or... anyone to ever exist.
The ceiling got a little smudged as tears started gathering in the girl's eyes. She knew she wasn't supposed to have those thoughts, especially not before Grom. She had to look her best, but not even that deep down she knew she just wanted to dance with Luz and have fun. Not worrying about what other people might think.
The next morning Amity woke up, wishing everything she was feeling was just a nightmare. But since it wasn’t, she had to put up with it and act like she had everything under control. Like always.
_._._._._._._._._._
After the Blight siblings parted their ways in school, Amity unpacked her bag and put it in her locker. It was the first time she saw the pink letter since last night. She swallowed and put it on the top of the books she needed for her first class. With a sigh, Amity started walking towards the classroom, trying to be quick to avoid hearing the announcement about this year’s pick of Grom Queen. Not like that would’ve prevented anything, since every classroom had a speaker too. She felt sick.
That pink paper caught her attention again. It was resting innocently on her books, but gave her an eerie, nervous feeling. Still, when she picked it up, she felt the warmth of pure love fill her insides and suddenly she convinced herself that it was all worth it. For Luz she'd do any…
The next second Amity collided with someone and found herself on the floor. How dare they interrupt her thoughts?!
"Hey, watch out!" Amity almost started yelling, but stopped herself when she saw who she bumped into. Luz. She covered her mouth and cursed herself for almost continuing a sentence that she would've regretted badly. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay!" Luz smiled, helping her pick up the books she dropped. "You seem to be a little in your head."
"A little…," so little that she didn’t even notice Willow and Gus. Amity was now smiling too, a slight blush flashing through her cheeks. That sweet moment only lasted for a second though, because that was when Amity noticed the pink paper in Luz's hands. She didn't open it to read it, nor did she ask anything about it. Still, the blush on the green-haired girl's face grew a deeper shade of red and she grabbed the paper from her crush, who didn't know that paper was actually meant for her.
"It must be something important, I see."
"Yes! Yes it's ugh… private."
Before she or Luz could’ve said anything else regarding the ominous pink paper, Principal Bump started talking through the speaker. The attention was drawn away from her, but her anxiety only grew bigger, if it was even possible. The lump in Amity’s throat was blocking the way and made it extremely hard to swallow. Sweat appeared on her forehead and she was holding onto her books for dear life. “Just say it’s not me and end my misery.”
“...to announce our Grom Royalty to be, Amity Blight .”
Suddenly, her surroundings were blurry and a high-pitched ringing in her ear signed that her biggest fear was becoming real. A second after hearing her name it felt like it wasn’t even hers. Principal Bump said someone else’s name. She was just… so worried to hear her own that her head was playing with her. And it could’ve been a nice explanation, if the whole entire school wouldn’t have been staring right at her. All air was sucked out of her lungs and panic filled her mind. She didn’t hear people whispering or Luz calling her name. All she wanted was to run away and hide.
Not something Blight-approved, but Amity did exactly what she craved. She ran away to hide.
Luz, however, was standing there, confused. Willow and Gus didn’t get to the part in explaining Grom, where they would tell her that it’s actually a bad thing to be Grom Queen.
“Being Grom Queen isn’t exactly a dream. The one who gets chosen has to defeat the Fear Bringer monster; Grom. It lives under the school and if it breaks out, everyone would live in their worst nightmares,” Willow explained, while Luz nodded and felt a great amount of worry build up in her stomach.
“And it can read minds,” Gus whispered. “It shape-shifts into your worst fear.”
“Amity’s tough, but it’s hard, even for her.”
Luz stared at the direction where her friend went. She was aware that Amity probably needed some time to process it, but her heart called for a different approach. She wanted to comfort the Grom Queen.
Without a second thought, Luz went to search for her friend .
_._._._._._._._._._
Amity desperately needed a place, where she could organise her thoughts and come up with a solution. She wanted to go all the way to the library, but she couldn’t miss her classes. That would be low. And imagining her mother’s rage convinced her to try her best to function today.
The thought of her mother made Amity panic even more. What if she hears about her running away and not embracing being chosen? She’d definitely suspect she’s hiding something and she’d go to rather radical extents to make her speak.
Passing by the arena and seeing students putting up decorations excitedly made her stomach turn. Amity sped up her steps and didn’t slow down, until she ended up on a corridor, where she was completely alone. She knew anyone could intrude her peace at any time, but she couldn’t hold her tears in anymore. She felt vulnerable. Weak. A person, who everyone has one feeling towards: shame.
Amity pressed herself against the wall, dropped her books and the letter, and slipped down onto the floor. She hugged her knees and tried to make herself as small as she could. Her quiet sobs echoed in the empty area.
When Luz caught up with her, she was already crying for a couple of minutes. No matter how much she tried, Luz’s steps were loud in the empty area, like they were made by a bear. Yet, that didn’t make Amity look up, she just shrunk her face even deeper into her own embrace.
“Amity…”
Luz didn’t want to make her feel even worse, so she decided to take it slow and stop at any time she notices the girl flinch. Which she didn’t, so Luz assumed it was okay to sit next to her and wait until she calmed down a bit, to be able to talk.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Amity said quietly, surprising Luz, who expected anything but this . Instead of taking it personally though, she smiled at her friend, even if her face was still buried in her knees.
“But I am, so I’ll make the most of it.”
Luz put her hand on Amity’s shoulder, who finally lifted her head, so their eyes met. Luz’s soft smile hadn’t disappeared and it made Amity’s insides feel warm. She was just putting out her arms to embrace the witch, when Amity fell right into the hug. Sure, no one was supposed to see her showing weakness, but Luz comforted her by simply existing, so now that she was comforting her literally, she just couldn’t resist her. She could stop caring about her family’s reputation for a moment.
Not knowing exactly what to say, Luz was holding her friend, ready to protect her from anything. She closed her eyes too, as she dug her head deeper in the girl’s crook of neck. Hearing her taking unsteady breaths and failing attempts at trying to hide her sobs, Luz’s worry for her grew bigger. She was just beginning to understand what Grom was really about and it didn’t seem to be too much fun to be Grom Royalty.
They stayed in each other’s arms for what felt like an eternity, before Luz decided it was time to make Amity talk, so that she could try to cheer her up. But it also felt like an eternity to come up with the right question, making her best effort in attempting not to make it even worse.
“Can’t you just tell Bump you don’t want to be Grom Queen? I’m sure he’d understand.”
“I’d have to find a replacement. But who’d want to switch with me?”
It took Luz a few seconds to come to a conclusion. All she wanted was to protect Amity and now the opportunity was handed to her. She broke the hug and looked straight into Amity’s watery eyes, “ I would.”
The confusion was clear in the witch’s eyes, but it quickly changed into a worried expression. She shook her head slowly, “No, I wouldn't ask that from you!” all she needed was to get Luz hurt because she was too much of a coward. Definitely not happening. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if-”
“You don’t need to ask me,” Luz cut her off, determined. “I’ll go talk to Bump and volunteer as your replacement!”
“It’s too dangerous!”
“It’s too dangerous for you too. Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m Luz, the human,” that made Amity chuckle, but wasn’t convinced at all. She was blaming herself for acting the way she did, because now she had to come up with something to change Luz’s mind.
“I know you can handle yourself. And I know you’re strong. But you don’t know what it means to physically live out your worst fear.”
“Maybe, but there’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Amity truly found her courage amazing and something to be admired, but it wasn’t really the place to ignore the circumstances. The urge to be brave and accept her fate as Grom Queen was getting stronger and stronger with every passing second. She couldn’t risk Luz’s safety. Before she could say anything though, the school bell rang and their moment was utterly ruined.
“We should get going, I guess,” Luz said, standing up and holding a hand out for Amity. “What are you wearing tonight?”
_._._._._._._._._._
After her regular classes Amity often had an individual class with Ms. Lilith. Usually she was excited to meet her mentor and wanted to learn everything from her. That wasn’t the case today though, when she was walking towards the classroom where they always had the class and was thinking about what’s awaiting her. She had Luz in her eyesight all day, but now that they were separated, she could easily go to talk with Principal Bump. She tried to convince Luz to change her mind at every given chance, but nothing seemed to work. And they didn’t even get a moment alone together again, to give Amity a chance to ask Luz out, so the day was a complete disaster.
Waiting for Ms. Lilith next to the door of the little classroom, Amity kept her eyes strictly on the floor. She was afraid if she looked up, her tears would fall easier and the floor was already quite blurry. I hope mom won’t find out I ran away. She’d kill me.
Amity only noticed her mentor approaching, when her shoes came into her sight. Only then did she look up, trying to hide her feelings that were so clearly written all over her face.
“Good afternoon, Miss Blight!” Lilith greeted her with a smile, but when she only got a whisper back as an attempt to be polite, she knew something was wrong. Not like she didn’t notice the sad look in the girl’s eyes immediately, but she just became even more certain. Lilith decided not to mention it though, since she didn't want to create the impression that she thinks Amity is weak.
While Ms. Lilith was explaining a method on how to identify a fake sigil, Amity's mind kept circling back to Luz and all the other reasons why she should be worried. It was hard to even keep the list in mind.
Lilith was aware of Grom and she knew Amity had been chosen to be Grom Queen. She already had planned to finish the class earlier to let Amity have a decent amount of time to prepare, but now that she noticed that her protégée couldn't even concentrate and take in what she was saying, she decided not to push her.
"So, now that we have covered this, I believe we're done for today," Ms. Lilith smiled and the difference in her tone made Amity snap out of her trance and was brought back to the small classroom.
The girl took a quick look at the clock on the wall, before she spoke for the first time since they started the lesson, "But there's still plenty of time left of the class!"
Amity was panicking, noting that she has messed up yet another thing today. Now even her mentor has given up on her.
"Yes, but I think some time for yourself would be much more useful right now."
"No, I'm fine! I'm sorry I'll do better, please continue!"
Lilith could see fear getting a strong hold on Amity, so she needed to convince the girl that she wasn't mad at her. Her smile softened, "I wanted to finish today's class earlier anyway, since I know it takes time to get ready for such an event like Grom. I was once a teenager too and I wished my teachers would've kept that in mind too," Lilith let out a chuckle, recalling the annoyed feeling towards her teachers, who made them stay in class as long as they could on purpose, and there wasn't an occasion when she didn't have to prepare in a hurry.
"The party can wait, but my studies can't. Again, I'm sorry for letting you down today, I won't disappoint you again."
Amity swore she saw Ms. Lilith's eyebrows drawing together while she was talking. She wanted to believe it was because her mentor wasn't thinking about anything like that, but it also could’ve been because she didn't believe Amity wouldn't disappoint her again next time. Ms. Lilith closed her book and put it on top of the others on her right. Then, she crossed her arms on the table and leaned closer a little bit, just to create a friendlier atmosphere.
"Miss Blight… while I understand your concerns, I do not agree with you. You haven't let me down and I'm not disappointed in you or your performance. You're a witch just like me or anyone else and we're all allowed to have some days worse than the others."
You're a witch just like me…
That single sentence had made the girl feel seen and like she mattered. Ms. Lilith has never mistreated her or acted like her support was meant to be earned. So accidentally calling her 'mom' sometimes, didn't feel like such a big deal, since she acted more like a mother, than her own.
Amity's vision started to become blurry again and the girl had no idea if she was able to stop her tears in time. Because of that, she was grateful that her mentor didn't want to keep her there for too long.
"Thank you Ms. Lilith, I appreciate your thoughtfulness," Amity said, slowly daring to lift her head and look at her mentor. Her tears didn't fall.
Lilith smiled at her and wished they would be in a closer relationship, just to be able to hug Amity and try to comfort her; something she clearly needed. Seeing her so upset has worried Lilith, but there was not much she could do. However, she was going to continue encouraging her and support her at all times.
After saying goodbye to Ms. Lilith, Amity grabbed her stuff from her locker and was walking home alone. Her siblings were already at home, so she still had a little time while walking, to think about what she’ll tell them as an excuse for not having a partner yet. But also there was her mom… she didn’t say anything about it, yet Amity was sure she wanted her to have a partner who was “on her level”. And she didn’t even want to think about what was going to happen to her once her mom found out that she backed off from being Grom Queen. She felt her insides somehow becoming tighter than they already were and the urge to run away appeared in her head again.
She couldn’t run away from her mother forever, though. She had to have that conversation with her at some point. She had to pull herself together.
Arriving at the Blight Manor, Amity took a second before she opened the front door. Now or never.
She stepped in, not daring to look up. For a few seconds everything was silent and she started to relax a bit, but when she turned around to close the door, her mother’s bloodcurdling yell cut through the air.
“ Amity Blight!! ”
_._._._._._._._._._
Luz was sitting on a dining chair in the kitchen, deep in her thoughts. She was slowly drinking something that Eda had put in front of her, but she missed what it was.
“I still can’t believe you volunteered to be Grom Queen,” Eda said, after she sat down in front of Luz, with a cup of apple blood.
“Me neither. But Amity seemed to really not want to be, so I-”
“So you replaced her. Why, though? Didn’t she use to pick on you?”
“The key here is that she ‘used’ to,” Luz said, a half-smile appearing on her face. “Now we’re friends.”
Eda nodded, before she took a sip of her drink. They fell into silence for a few minutes, both thinking. Worry started to grow inside them, not knowing what to expect from the night.
“I can defeat Grom.” the girl stated like it was the most obvious fact to ever be known, while looking at the ground.
“You can.”
That was the first time in minutes, when Eda looked at Luz and smiled. Although she had some doubts, she knew Luz didn’t need to hear them, as she was most probably aware of them. She needed support right now.
“I’ll be there the whole time.”
“I know,” Luz now also looked at her mentor, smiling at her. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was scared. Just a little bit. But she wanted to do this for Amity. Luz didn’t know why Amity was so freaked out, but it could’ve been for two reasons: she either is fully, well aware what it feels like to physically live out your worst fear, or her worst fear was something that she didn’t want anyone to know about. Or both.
“You know I was Grom Queen once…”
“You were?!” the sparks in Luz’s eyes and the pure excitement in her voice made Eda chuckle.
“Yes I was. At first, when I heard my name announced, I was proud and thought I was born for this. Everyone did. But not even that deep down I was scared. I had nightmares that felt like reality and the worst thing was that they easily could’ve become reality. And I was also terrified to be separated from Lily, since we were incredibly close at the time,” Eda trailed off, thinking for a moment. “So I wasn’t sure which one Grom would show and honestly I still don’t know which was worse, because it showed me both. And both became real eventually.”
Luz had her hands on her chest and her eyes were sparkling from her tears. Backstories were her guilty pleasures, and this one was even sad, so she was eager to find out more details.
“You stopped there, which probably means you don’t want to further explain, but that doesn’t mean I’m less curious.”
Eda snorted with a laugh, “Yes, that’s a story for another day. Now we should get ready, I have an important job to fulfill tonight and I’m not supposed to be even fashionably late.”
_._._._._._._._._._
Amity might’ve avoided Grom, but her worst fear caught up with her, regardless. Her mother looked furious and she was sure her life was over.
“ I GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO PROVE YOURSELF!!” Odalia shouted from the top of her lungs. With every passing second, Amity became more and more frightened. “You were supposed to bring respect and honour to our family! Who do you even think you are?!”
As she was yelling, Odalia took a few steps closer to her daughter. Amity was left speechless and took little steps backwards, knowing, if she stepped back too markedly, her mother would appear way too close to her liking in a second. And just keep yelling at her.
She eventually came close enough though, pointing her finger at her daughter, “I asked Bump to make you Grom Queen,” she said, in a threatening tone, but at a volume that only Amity could hear. “No one was supposed to know about it, only me and him. But then he called me,” - she was almost singing the sentence, like she was close to losing her sanity, if she still had any to lose - “and said that you quit. Blights. Don’t. Quit. And what’s worse is that your replacement is the human?! A human is more suitable for this than MY DAUGHTER?”
Amity couldn’t move, even if she wanted to. She was trembling, her knees fearing to give in and make her collapse, losing the tiny amount of dignity she still managed to keep. She was blinking, trying to keep her tears from falling, holding onto her bag for dear life. All Amity wanted was to disappear, be alone and never see her mother again.
Odalia grabbed Amity by the arm and squeezed it so hard that she was sure it’d be bruised later. “I did not raise you like this. Now go to your room, I can’t stand the sight of you.”
Amity didn’t hesitate for even a second; she ran off to her room, not caring about humiliating herself with it even more. After she closed the door, she threw herself on her bed and buried her head into her pillow. She knew she wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. Her throat was hurting from the held-back feelings.
After a few minutes of silence, Amity heard a quiet knock on her door. She knew it was Emira. Amity stood up and let her sister in, who, after the door was closed again, embraced her in a tight hug. Words usually weren’t needed in situations like this, because they understood each other and knew what the other needed.
“C’mon, let’s sit on your bed,” Emira said quietly.
She hugged her little sister and let Amity rest her head on her shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, and Amity’s eyes actually started to fill up with tears.
For as long as she knew, Em was the one who comforted her most of the time. The hugs that she would’ve expected from her mother came from her big sister, mostly because of said mother. Her father was not only on his wife’s side all the time, but he never even made sure their children were alright and safe. He didn’t seem to find her behaviour disturbing and what’s more, he agreed with her.
It took a few minutes for Amity to properly start crying and actually let out what she’d bottled up inside. Still, her sobs were quiet and tremulous. None of them wanted Odalia to hear her, either because she would’ve been even more disappointed than she already was or overly satisfied with the effect she had on her daughter. Which is another level of low.
Though it wasn’t the first time when Amity cried in front of Em, she still felt embarrassed. She knew her sister wouldn’t judge her or make fun of her. But that messed up mentality about “not showing weakness” was still present.
After she was done crying, Amity wiped her cheeks and straightened up, smiling weakly at Emira. “We need to get ready for Grom.”
“Right!” she clapped her hands together, pretending to just be reminded of that. She was actually beyond-words-happy to attend Grom and have the best night of her life. After all those years without friends, someone has finally asked her out to be their partner and nothing could bring her down to earth from the clouds. Her time to shine was finally here. “Gotta go then! Let me know if you need anything,” she said while jumping up from Amity’s bed, winking at her. Amity muttered a quiet thank you to her sister.
Emira smiled softly at her once more, before leaving her room. Amity took her hair tie out, letting her hair fall. It was always a freeing feeling to be able to do that because it meant that the day was over and she could have some time on her own. But now, the day in question was not even near to its ending.
She was fidgeting with her hair tie, her hands slightly shaking. Then, she looked up to the dress that was hung on her closet door. She didn’t like that dress in the slightest. It wasn’t because it was ugly; but the fact that her mom took away the opportunity from her to have the dress of her dreams, was enough reason to hate it. Her mom had her own idea of “beautiful” and since it barely ever matched with Amity’s opinion, they could never come to an understanding.
Odalia couldn’t come up with a proper visual of a dress for Amity, so instead of ordering a custom one, they went shopping. She nearly started shouting in public, but somehow managed to keep her cool, after threatening her daughter to not let her stay in the library at all, knowing damn well it meant a lot to Amity. Plus, she was sure the girl wouldn’t dare to sneak out; having to experience the consequences once was enough for her to learn.
Amity wanted to look beautiful tonight. Breathtaking even. And in the dress of her dreams she could have been. It could’ve been the key to Luz’s heart. She wanted Luz to see her in that dress; not her fuming mom.
When she was dressed, hair done, Amity stood in front of her mirror and took a second to analyse herself. She looked good actually. And oh Titan, she hated to admit it. It sent shivers down her spine and made her want to rip the dress into pieces and set it on fire.
But she couldn’t let those feelings win. They will explode one day, but it can’t be today. She still has to amaze Luz. If she doesn’t fall in love with me tonight, she never will.
_._._._._._._._._._
Surprisingly enough, it took Ed the longest to get ready. He has miscalculated the amount of time it’d take for him to do a proper skincare routine, to look flawless to his Grom partner. Not like he didn’t have his concealment stone, but he wanted to take the effort and enjoy the reward later. Em had to drag him out of the bathroom, leaving Amity alone at the front door.
She was nervous. The only thing she had with herself was the little pink letter, resting in her pocket. Every thirty seconds she was checking if it was still there, just to do something while she was waiting for her siblings. When her mom appeared from the other room, she just got her hand out of her pocket. Amity tensed up and desperately tried to figure out a lie for the question “what you’ve got in there?” , which never came. Although her mother did look at her with a questioning expression, she didn’t ask anything about it.
“Stay hidden tonight, out of the spotlight. If I hear a word about you from anyone … Well, just don’t disappoint me any further,” Odalia said endearingly and smiled at her daughter. By the time when the twins appeared, Odalia was gone.
She left Amity standing there, frozen. Both Ed and Em noticed their sister’s dropped mood, even worse than before. None of them imagined the night to start like this.
“Are you ready, sis?” Ed tried to get her into party mode, with a wide smile on his face.
Amity forced a smile. She nodded and with a stray thought filling her mind, her stomach started dancing and excitement was washing over her. She was thinking about Luz .