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"It's not fair, oh, it's not fair how much I love you
It's not fair, 'cause you make me ache, you bastard"
Fair, The Amazing Devil
Traveler,
I hope that the waters of that bloody gigantic fish tank haven’t swallowed you yet. Who would save this pitiful world, otherwise?
Buer is fretting about the advancement of your oh so heroic adventures and pesters me incessantly. “Traveler this, Traveler that”, it’s almost as if you were still in Sumeru. (Unbearable.) Even the architect came to me asking if I heard about you. (Has he always been this pathetic? His gullibility makes me sick.)
Most of the Akademiya students found out by some obscure means that I had the honour of knowing the most esteemed and beloved Traveler and harass me constantly. Why do they all ask me questions? Me? I’m the last person to turn to… Anyway, don’t hold it against me if I inadvertently spilled some amusing stories about you.
Nothing remarkable happened since our last meeting. Amazing how boring this world can be when no one tries to usurp a god’s throne.
On that note, I’m off seeking an occupation for a day as boring as all the prior ones.
Try not to die before we bump into each other again. You are the only one who remember m I wouldn’t want to shed a te
Do not die.
Wanderer
♦♦♦
“I beg your pardon?”
Buer didn’t look offended by his lack of respect, as usual. She just casually smiled at him.
“I was simply wondering if you ever had the chance to visit Fontaine,” she repeated, serene.
“...No. I never saw the point nor did I feel the need to. Why do you ask?”
“You may go if you wish, don’t let your academic work cloister you inside the House of Daena.”
Wanderer scowled at her. The Dendro Archon knew perfectly well that he only worked for the Vahumana darshan when he felt like it. After all, he hadn’t had a choice in the first place.
Therefore, he knew exactly why she was bringing Fontaine up all of a sudden.
Despite that, several centuries old habits didn’t disappear so easily and he feigned a haughty and aloof air.
“Why in the world would I go there?” Wanderer sighed, crossing his arms.
“Oh I don’t know. Just think of it as an approval on my behalf.”
Wanderer didn’t have to make any effort to see the amused glint in the Archon’s eyes and it annoyed him even more.
“...If that’s all, I’ll take my leave, Rani Kusanali,” he declared, already heading towards the sanctuary of Surasthana’s exit.
“Say hello to Aether for me, Hat Guy!” Nahida cheerfully said behind him.
He clenched his teeth to hold back an insult and left the sanctuary hurriedly in an anemo gust. He clearly pictured the big smug smile of the goddess.
Fucking hell.
♦♦♦
Dear Wanderer,
I wasn’t expecting a letter from you at all but what a pleasant surprise!
How are you?
Rest assured that I am, as a matter of fact, very alive, without too many fresh scars and all my limbs still secured to my body. Incidentally, I am a very good swimmer. But thank you for caring!
Even though I haven’t made much progress yet concerning my sister, I quickly got to meet a lot of very welcoming people. Fontaine is of course very different from the other nations and it always take a little time to explore and discover new horizons. (Tell Nahida and Kaveh that my journey is going well so far and that I promise I’ll drop by Sumeru as soon as I get a chance. Speaking of which, I’m certain Kaveh and you would get along well if you gave him a chance to know you. Just try not to bite.)
Accept it, Hat Guy is popular since your sudden appearance (literally) on stage. Your ghastly demeanour at least has the merit of making you look mysterious for some~
I’m not sure I want to know what nonsense you said about me but if my ears start to burn at some point, I’ll at least know why… Nevertheless, don’t worry, I faced way much worse than a few silly rumours, as you are well aware.
I would appreciate if you could refrain from reiterating some devious schemes in order to catch my attention. But I’d be delighted of course to answer your future letters to keep you from destroying the world, if that entertains you.
I see you spend more time with others. Who did you talk with as of late? Did someone get the privilege to go from “unsightly insect” to “tolerable presence”?
I hope you’ve found something nice or interesting to do for that day and the next ones. I trust Nahida to ensure that.
I promise you I’ll do my best to stay in one piece. (I have to admit I avoided a duel against the Hydro Archon mere minutes after my foot touched the ground, but it ended well, I swear!)
I hope to hear from you soon,
Your very esteemed and adored Traveler
Wanderer had lost count of how many times he had read and reread Aether’s letter. The paper was starting to memorise the prints left by his fingers after he refolded it, unfolded and refolded again, over and over
To be honest, he hadn’t expected anything. That is, certainly not an answer so fast and… casual. (Moreover, with such impudence.)
As if they had always exchanged banalities and banters in letters, just to give news.
As if they cared for each other.
Wanderer was sat on one of the highest summits of Sumeru facing Fontaine and he was aware that a smile betrayed his real emotions. It didn’t matter, though. No one were here to witness these pathetic human feelings he was showing.
Well, no one except the aranaras, probably.
And Buer had most certainly read him like an open book a while ago, already.
He gave up trying to hide anything to the Dendro Archon, anyway. (Notwithstanding, that didn’t mean he was going to admit the merest thing.)
What about Aether?
Wanderer knew that the traveler was way more perceptive than he let on. He noticed on multiple times the odd way Aether... looked at his surroundings. His eyes didn’t seem to match with his candid and naive appearance.
He was acting like a novice thespian who already knew all his own lines and the others’.
It didn’t take long for the traveler to pierce through his façade, to discern the shambles of emotions that he spent centuries trying to get rid of – to no avail.
Did he… know all Wanderer felt about him?
♦♦♦
Aether,
Would you believe me if I told you I burst into laughter in the House of Daena after I read your last letter? I reckon I should feel bad for bothering all those brave scholars like that… (One look was enough for them to go back to their work, haha.)
As for me, I must say I can’t quite picture you assuming the role of a lawyer for some strangers – but I really shouldn’t be surprised. I guess congratulations are due for your victory. It is not every day that one prevail over the Archon of justice in a trial. (One cannot help but wonder if there is anything you’re not able to do… Tch.)
You know, I’d gladly have a laugh at your expense for not expecting this reveal but I’m not that cruel. I clearly got how their little “omission” affected you, from your words. Although, you already knew of the House of the Hearth’s existence, didn’t you? A word of advice, Traveler: take it for granted that the fatui are everywhere – which is the truth.
That being said, I can’t seem to grasp why it impacts you to that extent. Must I remind you who is writing this very letter? I’m certain these brats didn’t commit the hundredth of my crimes. Is it that they lied to you, whereas you already knew I am a monster?
Anyhow, unsurprisingly you’re unable to visit a nation without taking an essential part in its history… Have you ever contemplate not involving yourself? I know it’s pointless to tell you that, but the matter of these disappearances and Fontaine’s future do not concern you.
Do try at least not to throw yourself in certain death every occasion you get.
Wanderer
Dear Wanderer,
I don’t have the slightest doubt, I think I’m beginning to know you...
Technically, I wasn’t really given the choice but, at that moment it felt right to do what I could to uncover the truth. Ironic, huh? This “victory” is a little bitter. I have the feeling I’m the one who had been fooled.
Ha, I’m touched, I was expecting a “you can’t possibly be this stupid?”. Yes, I did know about the House of Hearth but… You might be right, there is a significant difference between knowing who we’re dealing with since the beginning, and suddenly learning we've been deceived.
You don’t need to remind me anything, you sign your letters, Wanderer. And you are certainly not a monster.
Honestly, I stopped trying not to “involve myself” a long time ago. I had absolutely no intention to join the resistance and free Inazuma, you know? Not any more that I intended to help Nahida or give you another chance.
I came to terms with it. You know my goal, if I have to go through this to find her, then so be it.
At least, it keeps me busy.
Right, enough talking about my heroic feats, you haven’t write a word about you! Tell me all about your days. I hope you’re less prone to insult others than before.
I look forward to your reply,
Aether
♦♦♦
Wanderer had ceased to listen to his scarce classmates of Vahumana since several minutes, already.
He ended yielding to a particularly insistent invitation to go debate “research” at Puspa Café. Needless to say, they were talking about everything but their subject.
His eyes lost in the void, he was sipping his tea without enjoying it, an unpleasant feeling twisting the inner clockwork of his stomach. He couldn’t help brooding over every word Aether wrote him these last weeks. He didn’t like at all the turn his letters had taken recently.
The more time passed, the more Aether seemed to have lost his typical liveliness. He still was actively busy helping anyone in need, of course. (He likely didn’t know how to exist otherwise…) But he talked less and less of himself and asked instead Wanderer to recount his boring everyday life. Who in the world would be interested to hear about his academic work (regardless of how infrequent it was) or his interaction with insipid humans? Even if Aether was… well, Aether, it was suspicious in Wanderer’s opinion.
What made him especially upset was the realisation he was worried about Aether. He kept thinking back to Buer’s extremely subtle suggestion of leaving for Fontaine. He even dreamt of going. Pathetic.
And worse still! When Aether mentioned his adventures or anything about his journey, a name kept coming back again and again, distinctly sticking out like a sore thumb compared to the ones he occasionally brought up.
Lyney.
Wanderer didn’t know him, he had no idea what he even looked like. There was no reason for him to form whatever opinion on the magician. Despite this, he couldn’t stand how often Aether spoke about him. Not in a bad way, on top of that. Wasn’t he supposed to have fallen out with him since the twin’s trial? Wanderer didn’t understand what prompted such a change. Aether never explained anything about that and of course, he never asked.
Merely thinking about it made him grind his teeth...
“Oh! Hat Guy!”
Wanderer was pulled out of his sullen thoughts by a familiar voice.
Layla, the young Rtawahist scholar, stood in front of the table he was sat at with the others and she was smiling shyly at him. When he just stared at her impassively and arched an eyebrow, she blushed and her legs slightly twitched, like she wanted to step back.
“I-I, huh, I didn’t want to disturb you! I was just going to take a coffee and go back to my work but I caught sight of you and...”
Wanderer didn’t bother listening to the rest of her excuses, as insufferable as they were pointless, and he noticed his classmates had fallen silent. He turned towards Layla and interrupted her to prevent her from succumbing to anxiety.
“You’re not disturbing me but get straight to the point, what do you want?” he asked, not making the effort of being amiable.
“Hm, well, I was mostly just passing by to say hi but…”
Wanderer stayed still and restrained himself as best he could not to roll his eyes.
“Well, I was wondering if… if you had some news from the Traveler?” she asked in a low voice, wringing her hands nervously.
“...Why would I?”
He crossed his arms and glared at her coldly, getting unwittingly on the defensive. Layla didn’t reply right away and looked confused.
“Huh, that is… You’re exchanging letters… right? Kaveh told me–”
“Okay, alright, that’s enough!” Wanderer cut her off, dreadfully embarrassed.
He abruptly stood up and, declaring he was tired, hastily left the café without a glance towards his colleagues.
“Hm, w-wait, Hat Guy!”
He heard Layla follow on his heels and sighed.
“What?”
“Y-You didn’t answer my question…?” she said, not sounding very confident.
“...Why on earth would you ask me? The traveler have plenty of friends to send letters to.”
Layla’s expression turned to confusion again and she blushed, uncomfortable.
“Well… apparently he is not one to communicate regularly according to what Kaveh, Madam Faruzan and the others told me. He sends letters in special occasions like birthdays… H-He sent one for my birthday, but it seems it is very unusual for him to maintain an actual correspondence… Ah, Collei also told me even his friends from Mondstadt had hardly any news outside of his visits in person.”
Wanderer felt his jaw drop, speechless. That didn’t make any sense. He never had to wait more than a week to receive a letter from the traveler.
“...He never writes to anyone…?” he said, more for himself than to Layla.
“A-According to what I’ve been told! Hm, that’s why I was wondering… As it has been a while since he left and… and no one knows how he’s doing, I’m beginning to worry a little...”
“He knows how to get by, it’s not worth getting your knickers in a twist.”
He didn’t know whether he was trying to reassure her or himself.
“Hm… I won’t bother you any more but… may I… may I ask you a favour?”
Wanderer’s stare bored into Layla’s eyes as if he had stepped on something disgusting.
“Ah! Ahem, you- you can decline, of course! It’s nothing much! Just, if you have any bad or important news… could you let at least some of us know? Hm, Kaveh, for example?”
“...I’ll think about it. Anything else?”
“Huh? Oh, no, that’s it, sorry!” she sputtered, waving her hands in front of her. “T-Thanks, Hat Guy! See you, g-good evening!”
Without further ado, the researcher scuttled off and let Wanderer in the street, alone with his thinking.
When he realised he was smiling – foolishly – he lifted his hand up to his face to hide it.
Pathetic.
♦♦♦
Dear Wanderer,
I hope you are well.
I just got out of the Fortress. (Well, I got out a few days ago but there have been some… mishaps.)
Before you wonder, yes I did take some risks, but I’m fine. I’m not the one who suffered the most from the last happenings. You should have seen Lyney, Lynette and Freminet… I didn’t think I’d ever see Lyney so distraught.
I don’t have the heart to tell you all that happened. Not just yet. It’s still a bit… raw in my mind. I’ll tell you once I’ll be properly rested.
So tell me, what’s up? And don’t say how meaningless and boring your life is, I know you like debating with Cyno and Alhaitham, staying out stargazing with Layla occasionally and, of course hanging out with Nahida.
Tell me about everything.
I’ll be waiting for your letter,
Aether
Tch.
Lyney.
Once again and as always.
Even in such a succinct message he managed to mention him.
Despite it all, Wanderer answered as fast as he could without hinting at his growing disdain for the magician.
♦♦♦
Almost a week had passed since Wanderer had sent his letter. The reply should arrive any day now.
“Everything’s alright, Wanderer?” Buer asked, with her natural kindness.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” he retorted, without looking up from his book.
“I’m willing to keep pretending not to see anything but it’s getting harder and harder, you know?”
He closed his book curtly (of which he had already forgotten the content) and glared at the benevolent and concerned expression of the Archon.
“If you already know, why do you ask”?
“Because I’m worried, and for the reason that you never share your suffering.”
Wanderer cast his eyes down. He knew he couldn’t avoid this kind of discussion forever. That didn’t make it more pleasant for all that.
“...I’m waiting for a letter,” he admitted, embarrassed.
“Aether,” Buer guessed.
“Ha, who else? He usually doesn’t take more than a few days and...”
Wanderer didn’t finish his sentence, a multitude of sinister scenarios befouling his mind.
Maybe he was… No. Wanderer couldn’t accept it.
“You fear that he might not answer anymore.”
“Bah, it’s stupid, probably a consequence of the dreadful boredom in store for me.”
Lesser Lord Kusanali didn’t say anything more and settled for putting her hand on his arm, the gesture intended to be comforting.
And it was.
♦♦♦
Still nothing.
Two weeks and still nothing.
When his turn came, he angrily threw a card on the table, making it nearly fall.
“Hey, watch out, if you damage it I’ll make you regret it!” Cyno exclaimed, looking daggers at him.
“Oh, will the General Mahamatra put me in a cell?” Wanderer sneered.
“Don’t tempt fate...”
He sighed and rolled his eyes before picking the card up using a small anemo breeze.
“You know, we are all used to your extremely pleasant personality, but I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong in thinking you look especially preoccupied, lately.”
“Mind your own business, big ears” Wanderer grumbled.
“Tighnari is right,” Kaveh agreed, frowning. “Did something happened?”
“Do your move instead of asking inane questions, mister architect, it’s your turn.”
“It’s about Aether, right?”
“Of course it’s about Aether,” Alhaitham stated, exasperated.
Wanderer threw a dirty look at the scribe. Really, you too? Alhaitham simply shrugged.
“Hey, seriously, did something happened to the Traveler?” Kaveh insisted, now clearly alarmed.
“Stop squawking, you’ll give me a headache...”
“Come on, you promised Layla you would let us know if anything went wrong with him,” Cyno pointed out.
“Why is everyone harassing me about the bloody hero of Teyvat?” Wanderer grunted, letting go of his cards to cross his arms.
“”Ha, perhaps due to you being the only one to regularly write to him? We tried to ask a lot of people from Liyue, Inazuma… He’s really hopeless when it comes to give or ask for someone’s news.”
Wanderer knew he was stubborn but he didn’t really know why he was so reluctant to share the few details he had. It was like… like sharing something intimate, that only belonged to them. He felt privileged. He blushed against his will, frustrated to expose so much sentimentality.
“We know you take us for fools but it doesn’t take a genius to see you two are very close, Hat Guy,” Tighnari said, his smile smug and mocking.
“Urgh! Fine, shut it!” Wanderer gave in. “He hasn’t answered my last letter, okay? Last time he wrote, he insisted he was ‘fine’, but if we were to listen to him he would be fine even on the verge of death.”
His words summoned a stifling silence upon his companions.
“...I don’t know what happened,” he continued in a quiet voice, inadvertently vulnerable. “But he seemed deeply aggrieved by what he went through in the Fortress of Meropide– don’t ask me anything, he didn’t tell me much more.”
He related what he knew about Aether’s journey – while omitting all that he’d rather keep for himself – then fell silent, staring at his scattered cards on the table. When no one broke the silence for several minutes, he lifted his head up and acted haughtily and nonchalantly.
“Don’t pull faces like that, I’m certain he already saved Fontaine and that he’s getting ready for his next destination. He likely grew tired of our exchanges, I mustn’t have been entertaining enough,” he added, bitter.
Given their look of pity – compassion – he knew he didn't convinced anyone.
♦♦♦
Wanderer spent more and more nights in the Akademiya’s library, a considerable number of open books around ink covered scrolls. He undoubtedly produced more works in almost a month than he ever did since he got a place in this darshan.
“Archons, I had never seen you working this much, lad!”
If he hadn’t been a puppet, he likely would have startled. Instead, he chose not to answer and ignored Faruzan.
“Alright. I will not beat about the bush, young man: what on Teyvat are you still doing here, hmm?
Wanderer looked up to her, puzzled.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Oh he is not deaf, then! Perfect,” she joked, sitting down across from him, as if it was natural for her to do so. “Look, at this point I swear the entire Akademiya is no longer able to bear your puerile behaviour– ah, let me finish, show some respect, please. Are you aware that you scared off a third of the students who wished to study in the House? So let me ask you again: What are you still doing in Sumeru?”
He gawked at her for some lengthy seconds, attempting to grasp what she was saying.
“I’m afraid I don’t quite understand the meaning of your question, madam,” he replied slowly.
Faruzan sighed like he was an idiot.
“All your friends are worrying, kid, they came to me and told me the gist of it.”
Wanderer got tempted to deny he had so much as one friend but he wasn’t in the mood.
“...What did they say?”
“The Traveler hasn’t replied to your letter for a month, your already… let’s say, peculiar mood keeps tumbling down and the last time you were seen smiling was while reading his last letter.”
He wasn’t even going to bother wondering who had been spying on him.
“Well? Will you answer my question?”
“And for what absurd reason would I even leave? I’d like to be alone now, if you will, I have work to–”
“Urgh, you can’t be that obtuse! Pack up and go find the Traveler, for Archons’ sake!”
“What?”
“Everyone is watching you wither away and pine in the absence of your sweetheart! Your existence soaks up all joy on these lands and seriously threatens the future of the Akademiya’s next generations,” the scholar lamented, putting her arm on her forehead in ridiculous and dramatic manner.
“I am not–”
“And I am not here to listen to your denial, laddie. Be as smart as you are when you write your theses et do what’s good for you – and for Aether.”
She stood up and walked away without any more words.
But as Wanderer was still busy digesting this bizarre exchange, Faruzan suddenly span round.
“Oh and, for the love of the Lesser Lord Kusanali, if you still decided to self-flagellate despite it all, do spare our poor students and find another place to mope around, hmm?”
♦♦♦
He wouldn’t leave.
Why would he after all?
To go save the traveler in distress and declare his undying love?
Ha, and then what? Prove all these morons who bored him stiff with their futilities right?
…
His eyes couldn’t help looking back and forth towards the ornated box where he treasured Aether’s letters.
He truly was way more pathetic than he ever was. (Taking his past into account, it was extremely humiliating.)
But what if he was right? What if their stupid little correspondence had ended up boring Aether? What if he had better things to do and wasn’t even thinking about him anymore?
He had made new friends, as always.
He had this Lyney.
The mere thought about this bloody clown made his jaw click.
Of all that could have convinced him, it was his annoyance and jealousy towards the magician that finally got the better of his mulishness and defeatism.
His things were already packed; he didn’t need much, after all.
He left the little cottage in which Nahida insisted he reside without a glance behind.
♦♦♦
He pretended not to notice his friends holding back their glee and mirth.
He pretended they believed his excuse of “Fontaine’s History project”.
He pretended to be oblivious about how they were going to bombard him with questions upon his return.
For fuck’s sake.
To be continued...