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Sun was fine.
That was what he said every time someone asked him; after all, he couldn't just dump all of his problems on a stranger.
There were only a few people Sun could vent to: Earth--he's dumped enough on her already--, Moon--he already had enough on his plate with the whole losing his memories thing--, Monty--Sun could honestly barely stand them--, and Foxy--no. Just no.
So really, that left no-one. And that was fine. Sun could manage, really, he could.
It didn't matter that he had to keep his brain busy 24/7. It didn't matter that every time he let himself rest even a moderate amount, the hallucinations started again. He would be fine. He had to, he was the only one who knew what the fuck was going on at any point in time!
Even though that was Moon before. Even though he was the dumb one, even though he wasn't made to handle this.
But, again, what choice did he have? It's not like Earth or Moon fully knew what happened, and someone had to take charge and fill them in.
It just so happened that responsibility fell to Sun.
Sun should've said no.
He shouldn't have gone through with the whole "exploring a new dimension" thing. He should've told Moon no, and gone to find something else to occupy his time. Maybe he would've cleaned and repainted the barrels for what seemed to be the millionth time--actually, no, he hated those goddamn things.
Regardless, he was now dealing with the aftermath of his decision. He had been teleported back home, and as he shoved his way out of the ball pit, Moon stood before him.
They started arguing. Every time Moon asked about what happened, Sun tried to deflect, but eventually he couldn't keep it up anymore.
"You're just gonna laugh in my face again," Sun muttered to himself.
"Again? When have I ever laughed at you?"
"Maybe it was the old you. But still."
Moon's voice softened when he realized Sun wasn't arguing anymore. "Sun, I'm not gonna laugh at you. I've seen some things, and even though it was the old me and I can't remember, I can still feel it. The dread and the guilt. I'm not gonna judge you."
Sun took in a deep simulated breath to steady himself before starting, "I see things that aren't there. Sometimes it's Blood Moon, sometimes it's the old you. Every time I get angry, or upset, or when I'm alone."
It was quiet for a minute as Moon processed the information. He stepped forward and attempted to bring Sun into a hug, but Sun jolted back. "Don't touch me."
Moon complied. "We can take a break together. One day away from all of this, not needing to worry about anything. Okay?"
Sun immediately shook his head. "No, I- I can't." He couldn't meet Moon's eyes; he was too ashamed of himself.
"Sun-" Moon tried to interrupt, but once Sun started speaking, he couldn't stop.
"Moon, I can't! They'll come back! They'll come back and taunt me and tell me how much everyone hates me and how everything is my fault!"
Sun was hyperventilating, despite having no lungs. He couldn't breathe. He tried to steady himself, he really did, but he couldn't. He couldn't breathe.
Sun knew someone was talking to him, but he couldn't process their words. No, no, no! Not now! Focus!
He was startled out of his own thoughts by a hand grabbing his. It was blue and silver. Moon.
His hand was pressed against something smooth, and he could feel a steady beat. If it was Moon, it couldn't be a real heartbeat, but that didn't diminish the calming effects.
It took a minute, but eventually Sun started to tune back in to his surroundings.
"That's it," Moon muttered. "Deep, steady breaths. You can do it."
Sun followed his brother's instruction. He could feel the adrenaline wearing off, and he was suddenly exhausted. He leaned against Moon for support.
"Easy there. How are you feeling?"
Sun hummed, unable to come up with words. He hoped it got the point across.
"Let's go lay down for a bit. You look like you could use it."
Though Sun was unsteady on his feet, he complied and followed Moon to the teleporter. He felt like a duckling following its mother. The thought sent an odd feeling of contentment through him.
When they arrived at Sun's room, Sun beelined for the couch, but Moon stopped him. Before he could ask why, Moon explained himself.
"Absolutely not. Fight me all you want, but I'm not letting you sleep all cramped on that couch. You can take my bed."
As if Sun had the energy for that.
If Moon was questioning Sun's compliance as he clambered onto the bed, he didn't make it known.
Moon was right when he had mentioned how comfortable the bed was. Sun felt like he was laying on clouds, and it was almost enough to make him drift off just like that.
The only thing missing was Moon.
Sun stared at Moon, trying to get his attention without speaking; his voice had decided to spontaneously stop working.
Eventually Moon looked up from his computer, glancing at Sun. The staring must have worked, since he walked over to stand beside Sun.
"Everything alright?" Moon asked, seeming worried. Sun nodded. "Well if you're fine, I'm gonna get back to work." He started to move away, and Sun started to panic a little. Why are you leaving? Don't go!
Before Sun could stop himself, he reached out and grabbed Moon's wrist. Moon seemed startled by this, but not upset. Once he was sure Moon wouldn't go anywhere, he let go, ignoring the pang of sadness that went through him at the loss of contact.
"Are you sure you're okay? Usually you're more talkative than this."
Sun tried once again to talk, but nothing came out except for a whine. Why couldn't he just talk?
Moon seemed to come to a realization. "You're nonverbal, aren't you?" Sun sighed in relief, nodding his head. It didn't happen often, but at least he knew what was going on now.
"Okay, this is probably gonna take a while, but I need you to bear with me, okay?" Of course Sun would listen to him, Moon was his big brother!
Wait, big brother? Where did that come from? They had always seen each other as twins, so why was he thinking Moon was older than him?
But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Moon was protecting him from his bad thoughts, and that's what big brothers did! They chased the monsters away!
"Are you hurt?" A head shake. "Are you tired?" A nod. "Do you want to sleep?" Another nod.
"You can go to sleep, y'know. I won't be upset."
Sun knew that already. That wasn't the problem. He was starting to get really frustrated with himself, because it would be so much easier if he could just talk.
"Hey, none of that," Moon insisted, and Sun didn't understand until he realized he was tugging on his rays. He let go, then huffed.
"I think we're gonna need another way to communicate, because this isn't working. Can you find some way to tell me what you need?"
Sun thought for a moment. He wanted Moon to cuddle with him, so maybe... He stretched his arms out, making a grabby-hands motion.
"You want me to sit on the bed with you?"
Close enough. Sun nodded.
The second Moon was situated, Sun leaned against him, with his head on Moon's shoulder. Moon tensed up for a second, and Sun started to pull back.
"Hey, it's okay," Moon insisted. "I just wasn't expecting it." He urged Sun's head back down, and Sun just let it happen, his head feeling fuzzy and light.
That feeling only amplified when Moon wrapped his arms around him. Sun felt completely comfortable, safe and secure in a way he'd never felt before. He let himself fall farther into it as he drifted off to sleep.
When Sun woke up, he was startled by the feeling of arms wrapped around his torso. He quickly shot up, looking around for any explanation.
He was in Moon's room. When had he gotten there?
As Sun's system's came back online, his memories came flooding in. He had gotten back from Ruin's dimension, had a huge panic attack, and then his head got...fuzzy? That wasn't supposed to happen. He set a reminder to get himself checked out, then continued looking around.
The overhead lights were off, leaving the stars on the ceiling to glow. Sun remembered putting those up there with Moon once Monty renovated the Daycare.
That fuzzy feeling was back, pushing at the edges of his consciousness. He checked the time. 12:37 am. He had plenty more time to sleep.
For once, Sun went back to sleep, bundled up under the covers next to his brother, and slept through the night.