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The BRAD-X sparked for a few seconds and keeled over. Kenji stood over it, panting from the exertion of hitting the thing’s head clean off. Yaz sat crouched behind Ben under Dr. Turner’s lab table, wondering how the hell that thing had managed to get inside.
“You guys okay?” Kenji asked, letting the club he’d used clatter to the floor.
She flashed him a weak smile; she knew the answer to that wasn’t exactly what anyone wanted to hear. He and Brooklynn hoisted her and Ben to their feet; Brooklynn smiled and turned to Kenji.
“Did you see that swing? It was perfect!”
Yaz put a hand on Ben’s shoulder and laughed in relief. He tensed up ever-so-slightly and spoke in an uncharacteristically soft voice.
“Hey, guys? Could you give me and Yaz a second?”
Kenji and Brooklynn looked at each other with about as much confusion as Yaz was feeling.
Brooklynn raised an eyebrow. “Uh… sure.”
They walked down the hall and disappeared from Yaz’ view. Ben turned to her with such a somber expression that she was sure she’d offended him somehow.
“Yaz, listen. Um… You’re a great girl, and I like you.”
He put his hand on the nape of his neck and looked to the ground. A pit of dread started forming in Yaz’ stomach; she did not like where this conversation was headed.
“But I just don’t like like you.”
Yaz’ eyes widened. Did he think that she… liked him? Where did he get that from?
“What?”
“Don’t be upset,” he said. “It’s just that…” He looked off to the side and bit his lip. For a moment, Yaz could see the old Ben peeking through. “Well, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection, and I- I don’t think I could like you. Or any girl at all, actually.”
The implications of his words hit her like a truck; all she could do was raise an eyebrow and choke out a very confused “Ben?”.
She looked behind him to where Brooklynn and Kenji stood eavesdropping (of course they were). The realization seemed to have already hit Brooklynn, who had a hand over her mouth and eyes open wide. Kenji still had no idea what was going on; he glanced at Ben, then Yaz, and shrugged.
Ben took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and opened them.
“Yaz, I’m gay.”
Yep. There it was. Kenji’s jaw practically dropped to the floor; Brooklynn looked up at him and put a finger to her lips.
This was new territory for Yaz. She had known some gay people back home, but not closely. They were already out, anyhow, so this sort of thing had never come up. What was the protocol for someone coming out? Saying that she was supportive? Hugging? She hoped it wasn’t hugging.
She snapped out of her thoughts. Ben was frozen in front of her, looking mildly terrified. Crap, she’d been quiet for too long.
Worry lines crinkled around his brow. “Yaz…?”
She smiled broadly and gave him a thumbs up, keenly aware of how awkward she looked and felt. “That’s, uh, that’s great, Ben! Love who you love!”
In her peripheral vision, she could see Brooklynn nodding approvingly. Kenji hadn’t moved one inch; as far as Yaz could tell, he was still in shock.
Ben’s shoulders relaxed, and he smiled a little. “Thanks, Yaz. Felt, uh… felt nice to get that off my chest. And, uh,” he added, looking a little guilty, “sorry about, y’know.”
Yaz kept on smiling and waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll be okay.” She paused and furrowed her brows. “Wait. Am I… am I the first person you’ve told?”
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah. I guess I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you guys for a while now. Normally I’d talk to…” he frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know. This whole thing’s just… stressful. Not knowing how everyone’ll react.”
Yaz nodded. “Yeah,” she began, not really sure how to reassure him. No one in the group seemed homophobic – Brooklynn talked about her dads plenty and there had never been any weird reactions to that. “Uh, I’m sure–” she sent a pointed glance to Brooklynn and Kenji– “everyone else will be fine with it. I mean, we’ve been living with freaking dinosaurs; I think… they can handle you being gay.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He smiled appreciatively and patted Yaz’ shoulder a few times; she stood frozen to the spot. “Good talk. Thanks.”
And with that, Ben walked off to the kitchenette, leaving Yaz staring at Brooklynn and Kenji with an expression that screamed ‘what the hell just happened’. Brooklynn smiled understandingly and mouthed ‘you did good!’. Kenji looked like his mind was on another planet entirely. Did he like Ben? Did Ben like him? Ben had mentioned not talking to someone he normally would; did he like Darius? This was too confusing. Yaz needed a nap.
