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Alex wanted to scream, to cry, to shout, to demand why the fucking universe was so awful to what was the best person in the entire fucking world. Everyone else could fucking shove it, fall down a cliff for all he cared. He was tired and angry of seeing Meredith Grey get broken.
And he hated to think of her that way… broken. As if she was something fragile and delicate, unable to handle a voice above a whisper or a touch that wasn’t the brush of fingertips. But she is.
Meredith Grey is broken. She’s lost a piece of herself with every loss she’s experienced, every traumatic thing that’s happened. And even the pieces she’s gained back from her children don’t tie or outweigh those.
But as he looks down at her, tears running down his face because she can fucking hear again, she can talk again, she can just fucking move her jaw again, and more importantly she’s home again, he knows that despite the universe conspiring against, making her live through the worst shit possible, despite being broken: she’s strong.
Meredith Grey is strong. Stronger than anyone he’s ever met, will ever meet. He knows that even if another curveball gets thrown at her, she’ll survive, she’ll live, she’ll succeed, but he can’t help but hope that she won’t have to. That the universe is finally done making her suffer, putting her through any more traumatic things.
“You’re crying.” Her voice is a mumble as it breaks him out of his thoughts. “I thought we left crying in the hospital.”
“You’re so strong, Mer.”
She stiffens beside him and then she’s rolling over with a wince to face him, sadness, guilt, regret, and fondness all looking back at him on her face, in her eyes. “No, Alex.”
“You are.” He insists. It’s important for her to know that, just like in a couple of years it’ll be important for her kids to know that as well. “You’ve been through so much and you're strong for going through it.”
“I go through it for the kids, for Christina, for you. It’s not strength, it’s love.”
He stares at her, stares at the resolve on her face, at the belief in her words, stares at the one woman in his life who has never even considered leaving him or not giving him a chance, of loving him, and nods. “Yeah, Mer. It’s love.”
His voice is soft and he wants to run away from it. Run away from the fondness in her eyes as she looks at him, at the way she loves him, she said she loves him, because when has anyone ever loved him and stayed? Never. When has anyone ever looked at him fondly? No one except for Meredith. And now her kids, because Meredith had made sure that she raised her kids better than her parents could have ever imagined or dreamed.
“I hate you.” He mutters, voice thick as he blinks away tears, not willing to let them fall again.
She snorts, turning back around to face away from him, but taking his arm with her, wrapping it around her. “Okay, Alex.”
“I do.” He insists, against her hair, smiling at the smell of baby shampoo because Zola had insisted on helping wash her hair and had wanted to use the baby shampoo.
She sighs, interlacing their fingers and he stiffens at the contact before melting into it. “I love you too.”
—
“She’ll be fine.”
Alex scowls at the other doctor whose eyes are glued to the chart he’s looking at. “Will you shut up?”
“Only if you stop watching Meredith.” Jackson responds.
“It's her first shift back, I’m worried.”
He makes a humming noise, swiping out of the chart and handing the tablet back to Alex. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t be worried.” He looks over at Meredith, who's talking to some of the interns, a stern look on her face as she does. “I’m just saying, maybe hide it.” His voice drops to a whisper. “You’re being a little obvious.”
“About what?”
“About you loving her.”
Alex raises an eyebrow, giving a quick thumbs up to Meredith when he notices her glance over and points at her phone. “Of course, I love Meredith.”
He snorts. “Yeah, we all know. And I’ve got like a grand on you guys getting together next month.” He then repeats the last two words, stressing them. “Next month, Karev.”
—
“Did you know there's a bet for when we are going to get together?” Alex asks as he crawls into bed beside her.
“Christina has us down for Zola’s birthday.” She smiles.
He stares at her, propping himself up on his elbow as he leans over her. “You’re joking right?”
“No.” She laughs. “A little before all of us started living together, the bet started. I thought it was just between Christina and Jackson, but it sounds like it’s not.”
He shakes his head, “Jackson wouldn’t tell me, but the pot is over five grand.”
Her eyes go wide. “Jesus.”
“Jackson has us getting together next month.” The words break the silence that had settled over them, and Alex’s eyes widened at how the words had slipped from his own mouth without him meaning for them too.
Meredith looks up at him, eyes and smile all soft as she does. It’s not the same soften she gets when she looks at the kids, but it’s close. “Really?”
He nods, not noticing how his body is leaning down, face getting closer to hers. “Yeah. A grand on it.”
She huffs out a laugh and he blinks at the way he can feel it fan across his face. “Well, I’d hate for him to get even more money.”
He nearly makes a joke about that being the only reason for them to get together, so Jackson doesn’t get more money in his pocket. But her bottom lip is in between her teeth, her chest is rising and falling faster than normal and her eyes are full of worry. So instead, he kisses her.
Alex and Meredith kiss for the first time, get together, not even managing to pretend that it was all just not to give Jackson any more money when they could have avoided it all together, not realizing that Bailey has just won the whole pot. Having put in her guess just two weeks ago.