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Iruma puts his phone back in his pocket with a sigh. The love trio is hanging out at Azz’s place today. He is standing in the empty hallway next to Azz’s room. He had excused himself due to an abrupt phone call from his grandpa. Seriously, what is it with other people always interrupting with a phone call right as things are about to get interesting? This time grandpa had wanted to know what color Iruma would want his new unicorn to be right when the love trio was in the middle of kissing each other! Iruma hopes the mood wasn’t entirely ruined while he was busy explaining to grandpa that he doesn’t need a third pony.
“Azz-Azz, do Iruma-chi’s kissies taste better than my kissies?” Iruma hears Clara asking behind the closed door.
“Iruma-sama’s.” Azz answers without a hint of hesitation.
Iruma dreads how that makes her feel. Even if the two of them have become much closer over time, Azz still values him over her by a wide margin. It wasn’t much of an issue back when they were just friends and Clara was content with just Iruma’s affection. But now that they’re, by her own words, the love trio, and not a love angle, the unbalance might start affecting her. He doesn’t want her to feel like a third wheel.
“Though I have to admit while your technique is better, the flavor of Iruma-sama’s lips is beyond divine!” Azz continues. “I have tried the purest ambrosia my mother has received from the deities themselves and it tastes like off-brand soda in comparison. The moment Iruma-sama’s lips met mine I was so caught off guard I could neither think nor move.”
“I knew it!” Clara shouts. “I knew it wasn’t just me! Iruma-chi is like super duper ultra yummy, but your mouth just tastes like mouth. Like no wonder he’s always eating if his mouth is that tasty.”
Oh. Oh no!
“Ah, it felt as if I had eaten nothing but livestock feed my whole life and now tasted a six star dish! As if some primal part of my brain was screaming ‘Yes! This is what you’re meant to relish in!’”
“Yeah, yeah I felt that too! If I wasn’t all whoaah and whooshed out by Irumachi’s yumminess I’d bitten his lips off like chomp chomp! Like it’s so weird! Why is Irumachi so tasty!? ”
Iruma knew there was something wrong when his soulmates just melted in his arms when he kissed them. But all he could see through his rose-tinted glasses as they kissed each other properly for the first time was just how obsessively in love his soulmates were with him and how good it felt to reciprocate that love. He should have given Balam-sensei some of his saliva in a test-tube before letting man-eating demons get a taste of it.
“Normally I’d chalk up to Iruma-sama’s magnificency like everything else peculiar about such an exceptional individual on the way to the demon king’s throne, but I have to agree with you. This is a bit far-fetched. Due to my lineage I am very familiar with lust magic and everything related to it, yet I’ve never heard of a kiss that is extraordinary from a culinary standpoint instead of merely being pleasurable in a carnal way.”
“Like yeah what’s the point in a food tasty kiss when you can have a sexy tasty kiss? A magic kiss should make everyone love you, not eat you!”
“My point exactly! Every type of magic we have, especially bloodline abilities, exist solely because they’re beneficial to the caster’s survivability. An ability that compels one’s lover to devour them would be weeded out to extinction. Meaning it can’t be Iruma-sama’s bloodline ability nor a spell he’s using, leaving us with only one rational explanation.”
Iruma slumps down to the floor with tears in his eyes. They’ve figured it out! His Azz-kun and Clara know he isn’t what they thought he’d be. They know now that Iruma isn’t some incredibly amazing demon worthy of their thrust and affection but a mere pathetic human. A worthless human who lied to them for all this time. A defenseless human whose mere drool tastes that good so imagine how much better his blood and flesh will be.
“Iruma-sama must be cursed.”
Clara lets out a theatrical gasp. Iruma feels like he’d gotten caught in an Indiana Jones style trap and found out the giant boulder that should’ve crushed him was made of styrofoam all along.
“And the most alarming thing is that he himself doesn’t seem to be aware of it! Otherwise he would’ve told us before we kissed or made an excuse to avoid kissing us.”
“Is Irumachi gonna die?!”
“Not on my watch! We must figure out the curse’s full nature to lift it immediately. The two of us lack the required experience and knowledge to handle this by ourselves so firstly we must contact a trustworthy adult. Lord Sullivan would be the obvious answer if not for the fact that I find it hard to believe a demon of his caliber wouldn’t notice that his beloved grandson is cursed. And him contacting Iruma-sama right after we triggered the curse’s effect is highly suspicious. So our best option is, unfortunately, my mother. I’ll contact her right away-”
“Stop!”
Iruma slams the door open. His mind is blank from adrenaline as his soulmates stare at him like deer caught in a headlight. Deer with teardrops starting to bud in the corners of their slit-pupiled eyes and fangs peeking from their mouths gaping out of fear over their beloved’s wellbeing. Right now, Iruma really needs to figure out a way to convince his soulmates he’s fine without revealing the reason why.
“I’m not cursed or anything. I know what’s causing this, I just didn’t realize it would do that beforehand. I’m completely fine.”
Please just buy it, please don’t jump to any wilder conclusions and please for the love of all that is whatever the definition of ‘holy’ is in demon world don’t get any of our parental figures, or anyone else really, involved!
“If ya say so, Irumachi.”
Phew.
“Next time you notice something weird with me, just ask me about it first, please.”
Azz jumps off his bed to kneel at Iruma’s feet.
“My deepest apologies for getting ahead of myself, accusing your grandfather of a nonexistent crime and almost creating a misunderstanding that would’ve greatly inconvenienced everyone involved. I shall accept any punishment you see fit.”
“Azz-kun, it’s okay, you just wanted to help.”
Iruma gently nudges his boyfriend off the floor and leads him back to the bed so they can join their girlfriend.
“...But Irumachi, does this mean we can’t kiss you on the mouth anymore?” Clara asks with the exact same timid puppy-eyes as she did back when they first met and she asked if they’d play with her again.
Iruma thinks of what to say. ‘No’ would be the safest and most rational answer for him. Not only is his own life at stake but the two people most dear to him would be devastated if they’d accidentally hurt or even killed him. And they could still kiss each other everywhere else except on the mouth. Chaste closed lips pecks on the mouth would be okay too. This wouldn’t be but another little thing to maneuver around, like not allowing them to see or touch his non-existential wingroot.
But Iruma has grown very greedy. Kissing Azz and Clara felt really good, and they liked it even more than he did. He wants to kiss them again. He wants to show them how much he loves them. For once he’s fed up with having his humanity hold him back. His humanity is what makes him special in this world and he wants it to be his greatest strength. If his mere saliva brings incredible pleasure to his beloved soulmates then he sure as hell wants to give it to them!
“It should be alright as long as you don’t bite. Bad things might happen if my blood gets involved, very bad things.” And if they go berserk over him, he can just use fractal on them.
“Yay!”
“I shall keep my fangs to myself, I swear it on my family name.”
“Samesies. I’ll only bite Azz-Azz!”
“Wait! Stupid Clara you- mfph!”
The lack of fire in Azz’s flailing hands indicates he isn’t actually upset over Clara pouncing on him with her tail wagging in excitement. Iruma can’t help but laugh at his soulmates’ antics. Ah, he loves them both so much.
Azz lets out a high-pitched noise and wraps his arms around Clara in a way that is either desperate or possessive. Iruma feels his heart skip a beat. Oh, he wants to hear him make that sound again, and find out if Clara could wring a sound like it out of him too. When Clara pulls away to let them both breathe the sight of Azz panting with half lid eyes, bloody lips and cheeks flushed to match his hair stirs up something in Iruma. Clara turning to face him with an equally red face and a manic grin showing her sharp bloodstained teeth nudges that something even more.
Iruma has no idea if licking demon blood does something to humans, but he’s in a mood to take the risk. He makes his way across the bed to give his soulmates a taste of something delicious.