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John stares.
It’s a plant, a little, alien-looking thing, about a foot high, sitting innocuously in whatever passed for Ancient pottery, a cubic container with surprisingly fresh-looking soil. It’s obvious that whatever it was, it was being taken care of by automatic systems. The console that it, well, emerged from looks equally innocuous, but at this point he’s pretty sure that the more innocuous–looking something is, the more secretly evil it is.
“You really think this is 10,000 years old?” John blinks at it. The greyish-green color of the slick, heart-shaped leaves tell him nothing. He’s not a botanist. It seems like an ordinary house plant to him, that maybe someone in some Ancient lab forgot about in a hidden drawer. Because that’s where it was, a panel had opened up and a shelf had extended, presenting the thing like a present, like a congratulations for finding lab #84439 in the bowels of Atlantis.
“Don’t touch it. Did you touch it? You touched it, didn’t you!?” Rodney is immediately at his side, scanner in hand. “You touched it and now you’re going to be mind-controlled. You’re going to become a plant-zombie, and leave glowing, toxic green drool everywhere you go, and you know what, that’s a tripping hazard–”
“I didn’t touch a damn thing–”
There’s a very long look.
“Okay, I stood next to the console. But that’s it, I swear.”
Rodney rolls his eyes, and taps the scanner. But he seems to believe John, at least. “Must be ATA activated by proximity. See, I hate these things. As if that wasn’t a problem for the Ancients, you walk by something and it just turns on without warning, I mean, who engineers that, anyway…”
“Is it something we need to worry about?”
“Gee, I don’t know–I haven’t read the manual that came attached to the plant!” Rodney gives him the longest, driest look. John’s impressed, actually. “You know, in the 5 whole minutes we knew this thing existed–”
“All right, all right.” John taps his radio. “Someone get Parrish in here, we need to know everything we can about 10,000 year old mystery plants that come out of Ancient consoles.”
He turns away to the door, where a couple of marines are standing guard, and doesn’t notice Rodney sneeze.
Not like what’s being released from the plant is directly visible anyway…
“Great, I’m allergic…” Rodney mutters, rubbing his nose.
~*~*~*~*~
A few hours later, after John was called away to deal with his usual daily stuff, including filling out mission reports (boring), filling out supply lists (extra boring but an opportunity to get increasing amounts of ice cream sent on the Daedalus), and training with Teyla (not boring but dangerous to his shins), he found Rodney happily eating dinner in the mess hall. John plops in the seat across from him.
“Any news on the weird lab with the plant?” John asks, taking a bite out of his turkey sandwich.
“Hmm, what? You’re still on about that? I’ve moved on to the next problem,” Rodney waves a hand in between bites of blue jello.
“So you haven’t found any answers yet.”
A beat.
“...no.”
“Thought so.” A smirk.
“Well, I don’t think it’s gonna be much else than some Ancient’s pet project, or a desk plant they forgot about.”
…little did he know, those would be famous last words.
~*~*~*~*~
The next morning, Rodney doesn’t show up for breakfast. John doesn’t think anything of it, until they get to the morning staff meeting, and it’s already five minutes in.
“McKay, did you oversleep?” John taps his radio as Elizabeth drones on about trade relations with the Yjosen Federation.
There’s no answer.
“ McKay .”
…not good.
He doesn’t panic, not yet, but he doesn’t like the cold feeling that snakes up his chest and grips his heart. John clears his throat, cutting Elizabeth off.
“Anyone seen McKay this morning?”
Teyla shakes her head, and Elizabeth frowns. “I thought he would be on his way by now.”
“He’s not answering his radio,” John says evenly. He stands up, about to run to Rodney’s room and pry open the doors with his hands when they get a call on the radio. It’s Zelenka.
“You’d better get to Rodney’s lab.”
John’s never gotten there so fast.
He’s not even really sure what to expect. A medical emergency? Did they call Carson? Why were they not running to the infirmary instead? Unless McKay was murdered and they couldn’t move the body–the thought feels like a painful, physical stab in his heart and he chastises his brain for giving him such wild, panicked thoughts when it was probably nothing–
–no, scratch that, there were so many things that could go horribly, horribly wrong in the Pegasus galaxy and his brain had every right to think of all of them–
–and yet, even his brain, honed over the years for many, many weird situations, could not come up with this.
He enters the lab, with Teyla, Elizabeth, and Ronon close behind, to see Zelenka and a few scientists milling about, looking confused.
There are leaves, everywhere.
“...the hell?” John takes a step in, the same confused look on his face. The leaves are coming from some sort of plant rooted near a table. The stem is as thick as a small tree, but squat, with tendrils and vines coming out of it, that have grown wild. The vines reach all throughout the lab, growing around consoles and chairs and cabinets, all over the walls, ceiling, and floors. They’re leafy and a vibrant green, a pleasant smell in the air.
“Why is this place suddenly a greenhouse? Where the hell is Rodney?!”
“That’s what…the problem is,” Zelenka pushes his glasses up his nose, looking a little pale. He keeps squirreling glances at the main body of the plant. A chair is behind it, and the plant seems to be tilted a little towards the table, a lot of the vines having grown on and actually into one of the computers. Like someone had spilled a plant onto the table. “There’s something I need to show you.”
John doesn’t like this. Like, he doesn’t like this on a good day but the fact that Zelenka’s saying stuff like that? The weird vibe he’s getting? His heart is beating entirely too fast.
“What is it?” Elizabeth’s voice is steady behind him, but even John knows her well enough to hear how worried she is.
Zelenka takes one of the computers that doesn’t have tendrils wrapped around them and turns it around, showing some sort of video. The whole group presses up against John, and normally he’d have a wry comment about personal space, but even he doesn’t care right now.
“I-I found the lab like this, this morning. I tried to call Rodney, no answer. He wasn’t in his room. Then I remembered he was working late last night, here. So I tried security footage, because–he would have seen this happen and alerted someone.”
“So press play already,” Ronon growls, and John is thankful that he said that so he doesn’t have to.
“Okay. Okay, j-just–it’s very–” Zelenka trails off with a Czech word that John, in a few minutes, will know exactly what it means.
The video begins. The camera is at a slightly higher angle, showing a large view of the lab. It shows Rodney, typing away on one of his computers, hand against his head, taking the occasional sip of coffee from a mug. Zelenka fast forwards a little bit, and it shows Rodney nodding off. Then Rodney wakes up, and seems to frown and tear something off of his hand. Then another. He shakes his hand, and John can vaguely see little things falling to the ground.
“...what, what is that?” John points at the screen, and Ronon yanks his arm back down, since it was blocking his view.
“Just keep watching,” Zelenka insists. “It seems to happen over the course of only a few minutes. It’s why he couldn’t radio for help.”
Rodney, on screen, suddenly gets up, sending the chair he was on rolling backwards. Right where it seemed to be left now. He looks like he’s reaching over to grab what was probably his radio on the table, but he seems to stiffen. There’s something going on with his feet–his shoes, though Rodney is too far and the footage a little too grainy to see exactly. Something, though, something is happening. Something…moves, snake-like, growing?
“That’s not…” Elizabeth starts to say, and Zelenka makes a strange sort of noise, that sounds upset.
Rodney seems to be yelling but he can’t quite reach the radio.
Then his hands…split.
Each finger splits and lengthens and spreads…and grows, covering the table. Things seem to be growing out of the…tendrils?
…leaves.
“Oh, God,” John breathes.
Rodney’s arms split further, his clothes shredding, as tendrils and leaves and vines seem to cover him rapidly. His body is becoming stem-like…trunk like, almost, squat and made of wood, hardening, stiffening, and his arms have become dozens of vines and tendrils. His head seems to be sinking into the stem part, or maybe it’s coming up to meet his head, but in moments it’s like his head was never there, melted into the plant that he now…was.
The vines keep growing on the screen, all over Rodney’s table, crawling up the walls, into consoles, around various tables and furniture. The main stem portion has clearly rooted into the metal, which John has no idea how that happened, but apparently it seems to have done so, just as happily as if it was soil.
Eventually the growth slows. Zelenka stops the video, and nobody says anything for a single second. As if by saying something it made it real. Because it couldn’t be real, no matter how weird the Pegasus galaxy was, even if you got turned into a bug once, it didn’t mean that your best friend and Chief Science Officer could turn into a plant.
…except that it did.
“You mean…that…is Rodney?” Teyla’s soft voice finally breaks the silence, though it sounds almost angry, accusing.
“When did this happen–how–” Elizabeth stammers, still in shock.
“...weird,” Ronon mutters.
John doesn’t say anything because he’s trying not to breathe too fast and too much all at once. He immediately scurries over to the main part of the plant–vine…thing, looking at the squat, trunk-like stem, as if he was expecting Rodney’s head to just…appear out of it and start yelling at them for taking them this long to find him.
…it’s the silence that freaked him out the most.
You know, besides Rodney being mutated into an entire garden.
“Is he–can he–is he still in there!? Where’s Carson–”
“Right here,” Carson’s voice comes behind him. “Nobody touch Rodney, we don’t know what we’re dealing with. In fact, I want everyone who was in this room to go to the infirmary for isolation and blood tests–”
Elizabeth turns to him, scarcely unable to take her eyes off Rodney. “How could this happen!?”
John snaps his fingers. “The plant! The plant from yesterday, me and Rodney discovered it. We need to get Parrish–where’s Parrish?”
“He’s analyzing a sample of one of Rodney’s leaves in the botany lab,” Zelenka pipes up.
John uses a nearby pencil to poke one of the leaves. Nothing happens. Not even a rustle?
“I don’t think he touched it. I was with him yesterday.”
“Aye, I think there might have been some sort of pollen or spores that Rodney may have been exposed to, and that’s why I need you for testing, Colonel. Either he got too close to it and breathed it in, or he inadvertently brushed against it, something happened to infect him and I’m curious if you were exposed and haven’t…well.”
John pauses, then pats down his chest.
“I think I’d know if I started sprouting leaves.”
“Well, we can’t take any chances. Off you go, the lot of you.”
About an hour of scans, various tests, and various vials of blood taken, everyone had gotten a clean bill of health, even John. Whatever Rodney had touched or gotten pollinated, it had only been him who was exposed.
John rubs the bandage on his arm (how much blood has he given up within the last month alone from being exposed to weird things) and swings his legs off the bed. Parrish was there now, conversing with Carson in a low voice over a microscope.
“So, what have you found, boys?”
“Not much yet,” Parrish looks up, a little nervously, but John can see there’s an obvious thread of excitement in his voice. Which pisses him off. Why couldn’t he be the one turned into a sprawling houseplant? “Rodney seems to be a different species than the plant that we–well, you found. But similar enough to be in the same family, perhaps. I n-never thought I’d be classifying one of our own as a new plant species, but–”
The look on John’s face is fairly murderous, so Carson quickly comes to the rescue.
“We’re trying to see if there’s any human, or even animal DNA within Rodney’s plant tissues. Even so, we’re trying to find the mechanism that transformed him. Once we find that, it should be relatively easy to reverse the process.”
“ Relatively. ”
“Yes, once the transformative properties are found. I suspect it’s an action within the spores or pollen of the plant itself. Once we find out what it is, we can re-engineer it to carry Rodney’s DNA within–”
“Human DNA. In pollen.”
“And if that doesn’t work, we can always re-engineer the retrovirus to affect plant life. But I’d much rather do it with the plant’s native mechanism, it’s a much faster process. Besides, we’re not sure what the retrovirus would transform first, and we don’t want Rodney to get stuck in a form where he’s unable to intake oxygen because his lungs aren’t formed but his brain is–”
“You know what? I don’t wanna hear that, I just need to know that he’s gonna be okay.”
“Don’t worry, Colonel, we’ve got the best minds working on this. And you can visit Rodney, he’s not contagious. We have the original plant under a glass.”
John doesn’t say anything for a moment.
“You think he’s…aware, in there?”
Carson and Parrish look up.
“There are some studies on plant consciousness,” Parrish says, in a low voice, like he’s expecting John to laugh at him. Or start yelling. “Some plants can move, responding to the environment around them. The-the venus flytrap, for example. Some theorize plants can communicate with each other via chemical action, they react to light…I’m not saying Rodney may have the same sort of awareness as you or I, but there may be something there…then again, this is an alien plant we’re talking about.”
“Right. A new species. Because Rodney McKay is now a shrub.”
“Well, actually, he’s classified as a liana-”
John turns to leave.
Quickly.
~*~*~*~*~
“So.”
So, what do you say to your best buddy who’s a houseplant?
The hell is a liana anyway…
“So…”
John sits on the chair, turning to and fro, looking at the roots that have dug into the metal (Carson had explained that the reason for the wild growth was that Rodney thrived on the same metal that made up Atlantis, go figure), to the stem, to the various vines that have extended…everywhere. Parrish said it was safe to touch the stems and heart-shaped leaves–no toxic properties, which John was genuinely surprised to find out about, because this was Rodney, if any of them was going to turn into literal Poison Ivy, it would be him...but still.
Weird.
His hand is trembling a little as he touches the stem. Then a leaf.
He looks quickly back at the main…part of Rodney, his eyebrows skyrocketing.
…no movement.
Huh.
He feels like it would have, should have?
“I swear, this is the quietest you’ve ever been,” he mutters, moving his hand across the leaf back and forth. There’s other people here but they’re on the far side of the room, taking samples and readings. Zelenka and the other scientists have been temporarily (because it’s temporary) relocated to another lab. “Can you feel that? This is just…really weird. I mean, look at you.”
He stares, swallowing. God, this is terrifying. He’s trying very hard not to think about all the ways this could go horribly wrong, to trust in Carson and Parrish–if he could be rescued from being turned into a bug, then Rodney would be fine.
It’s just that the bug thing was touch and go for awhile and he’d just gotten lucky…
No, he can’t think that way. Rodney was gonna be fine and have a really funny story to tell at parties. And it might actually top his bug story, which he’d been hoping someone would, at some point…
He just wishes it didn’t have to be Rodney.
It’s freaking him out, him just being a…an actual plant.
John taps idly at the laptop he’d pried open, moving a vine out of the way gently. He didn’t want to break any of the stems or leaves in case it actually hurt him (did plants feel pain?) but he was also really bored, cause plants were kinda boring. He boots the computer up.
“Carson says it’s not gonna be long now,” John chats casually. “And I’ve got tons of jokes saved up for when you can hear them again. Parrish says there could be some kind of consciousness in there so assuming you have leafy ears, I could start down the alphabetical list…”
He taps at the computer idly. Weird, why isn’t it booting up properly? Or did it, he wasn’t paying attention…it’s just a blank screen with a cursor.
Please, Colonel, you put too much faith in your humorous abilities.
…
John stares.
He looks at the vines, then back to the screen.
Yes, yes, you must be surprised.
“What the…hell?”
John starts typing.
No, don’t bother, I can hear you. Your ridiculously slow typing gives me a headache. Well, not literally, because I don’t have a head. Stem-ache?
“Rodney!?”
He looks at the plant, then taps one of the vines.
I can feel that. And I know what you must be thinking, so here goes–the metal I’m absorbing for nutrients and my ATA gene somehow allows me to interface with Ancient tech. I’m in Atlantis, John. I’m in the systems. I can see you right now through the security cameras, hear you with the radios and speakers…this is so cool!
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why didn’t you say anythi–I thought you were dead! Well, not dead, dead, but what if they brought you back and being a plant deleted all your memories or something–”
…I hadn’t considered that possibility. Huh. Makes my decision easier, I guess.
“Wait, what? What decision?”
Okay, for one thing, I didn’t tell you earlier because A. It was nice seeing you miss me and say nice things about me, B. I wanted everyone to feel the pain of my loss so they can appreciate me more, and C. I just figured out how to send messages, sue me. I think it’s the size of my plant body, when I grow more I’ll be able to process more, faster…I’m interfaced with Atlantis, see, but my brain isn’t actually in Atlantis, my brain is the plant, so to speak–
“Slow down. What decision?”
Oh! Well, I was going to just tell you to tell Carson to call this whole turning me back thing off. Wait. Never mind, I just sent him an email.
John rubs the bridge of his nose.
“You…don’t want to go back. To being human.”
Of course I don’t. To be connected to Atlantis systems like this? To not worry about my flagging body being the last person in a group running away from a Wraith? To not deal with hypoglycemia and hypochondr
“Plants get diseases too!”
Plants don’t get flu, Sheppard. You know what I mean. This is everything I ever dreamed of! I can explore the database, find all of Atlantis’ secrets, run my own research and simulations, and not have to worry about the trappings and stress of a human body–
“Rodney, please tell me you’re kidding.”
I’m not, John. I’m serious.
There’s a cold churning in his gut again.
What if he’s really serious?
“You’re obviously being affected by being literally a plant, and connected to Atlantis’ systems. You’re not in your right mind, which means I can’t let you make that decision.”
It’s my decision John, and I’ve never felt better. My vines are growing as we speak, getting into more systems
“See? That could be bad for the systems! You’re gonna poke into everything and disrupt stuff and break things–”
I’m not going to break things. You’re the one who can’t get over the idea of this being what I want! Typical.
“Okay, so let’s pretend for one minute we both live on insanity island and you’re making complete sense. How do I know that you can even–even consent to this, freely? You could be influenced by the plant…part of you, or Atlantis itself.”
I’m not.
“I don’t believe you.”
I don’t care what you don’t believe, you can’t make me go back.
“I can and I will order you.”
You’re ordering a plant around.
“A plant, who is my b…buddy, who is a human being!”
Oh look, it’s time for a system upgrade. Bye.
The screen they were typing on blinks off, and the normal operating system comes on.
“Wait–no–you–”
John jabs a finger in the direction of Rodney’s main bulk. “You did not just do that! You can’t just–get back here!”
He tries to open up a Word document, gesturing at it. “I didn’t say this conversation was over!”
…nothing shows up on screen.
“Dammit, McKay!”
John gets up, his chair spinning around and hitting the main stem of Rodney, bouncing off and spinning away.
Heh. Good.
~*~*~*~*~
“He said he…doesn’t want to go back.” Elizabeth says evenly, pressing her fingertips together. John paces, running a hand through his hair, so agitated he can’t bear to stand still for another moment.
“Exactly as I said it. And he hasn’t been answering back. Zelenka almost didn’t believe me at first, until he pulled up a record of the logs on the computer. We tried to get Rodney back but he’s not answering–”
“Or he won’t answer,” Elizabeth says, looking at John with a sharpness that tells him he’s not going to like what she’s going to say next. He slows his pacing down. “John, while I agree that we need to make sure he’s in his right mind, we–”
“No, we’re not letting him do this.”
“John. We have to consider–”
“We don’t have to consider anything, besides, you’re really going to let your Chief Science Officer stay as a-a glorified houseplant!?”
“I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is that let’s, for a moment–for God’s sake John, sit down.”
He huffs, and sits down, but his leg bounces aggressively.
Elizabeth presses her hands down on the table, and continues. “Let’s, for a moment, assume Rodney’s in his right mind. While I know it’s not conventional or what either of us want, what if this is what he really wants? To have that kind of access to Atlantis?”
“To not move again? To be stuck like that? Tell me you haven’t breathed in his pollen that’s making you even think–”
“John.” Elizabeth’s tone turns sharp again. “I’m not invalidating your feelings. I share them, I really do. I want Rodney back. But if it ends up this way, whether from Carson not finding a cure, to Rodney wanting this? You’re going to have to make peace with that.”
There’s something…opposite, in John’s eyes. Something impossibly soft, impossibly hurt, something that he can’t articulate in anything but worry and anger. His mouth opens and closes, his voice going dry.
Because he has thought about that. And he just…
“I…I can’t, Elizabeth. I’m sorry.”
~*~*~*~*~
“He talked to you?!”
Thwack, thwack went the sticks against his shins. Ow. John made a deflated sound and jumped back, rubbing his abused bones.
“Yes. On my computer.”
Teyla moves back, giving him a chance to recover. She goes back into home stance, graceful as ever. John is always jealous, while he looked like a baby giraffe who accidentally got into an ants nest—
“That—I left my computer on all night and he didn’t even—you talked to him about his stupid idea of wanting to stay a shrub, right?”
Teyla smiles serenely. Then goes right for the kill—two hits, both on the sides of his knees. John manages to dodge one, but the other whacks him good. He hops back, wincing and muttering.
“I listened, John. Perhaps that’s what he wants right now.”
“What’s there to listen to? His stupid idea?!”
Whack-whack-whack —three in succession, elbow, ribs, back—he manages to deflect the elbow, but ribs and back were casualties.
“And that is why he talked to me and not you. He talked to Ronon, too.”
“Ronon?! Too?!”
The next attack gets him right in the face and he goes down, flat on his back.
“Are you okay?” Teyla stands over him, reaching down to help him up. John accepts her arm, letting her leverage him back into a standing position.
“I’ll live.” John mutters again and goes over to where his things were, picking up a towel and wiping his face. “Typical. He won’t listen to me, but I have to listen to him—“
“John.”
Teyla reaches over and touches his arm. She lookes at him, her eyes intense, brows furrowed. “Do not talk to him as a Colonel or a team leader. Talk to him as your friend. Let him know your…” A pause. “…feelings about…it.”
“My feelings.”
A tilt of her head. “You do have feelings, do you not?”
“Of course? Of course I have feelings?! Much less I can say about him, how can plants even have feelings—and beside, he could be under some kind of influence! This thing could make him want this—nobody could want this!”
“Rodney does.”
John sets his jaw. “I’m not going to accept that.”
“Then he may not contact you for some time until you do.” She reaches over and takes a towel for herself, wiping her face. “Let him know that the thought of it upsets you, John. Let him know how much you’d miss him on the team.”
John says nothing for a good minute. He opens and then closes his mouth. Then—
“What if…that…” He doesn’t want to say it out loud, but this was Teyla. Something ugly was bubbling in his core and he doesn’t know what to do with it. His voice hitched. “…doesn’t work?”
“You mean, if you respect his decision.”
“Teyla, you can’t possibly accept that—“
“What I want is not relevant. Do you not think I would miss Rodney being physically present fiercely?”
She places a hand against John’s arm, and John feels that ugly feeling start to simply burn.
“But you know him better than anyone else, John. I think that you are afraid because you know how much he would enjoy this. Being connected to Atlantis, all this technology at his hands?”
“Well, he doesn’t exactly have hands—“
She shakes her head, a faint smile on her face. “I know you would miss him being here more than even anyone else. But maybe he needs to know that. And no matter what he chooses in the end? What matters is that you are there for him.”
John hates that she’s right. Hates that he’s slowly realizing how much Rodney really would love not having to worry about his physical body anymore, about being connected to Ancient technology, all pure science, pure math…
And it scares the hell out of him.
~*~*~*~*~
“You find anything?”
John walks into the botany lab, occasionally glaring at the plants around him. He’s staring to really hate plants. Parrish and Carson look up over a computer, having been discussing something.
“Yes, lots!” Parrish grins excitedly. “We’ve got tons of data on Rodney and the plant that did this to him. Rodney especially, he’s fascinating —a plant that retains human consciousness—this is revolutionary for our field, this is the single most important discovery of our lifeti—“
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s great. What’s the verdict on Rodney?”
Parrish calms down enough to share a look with Carson.
“What is that look? I don’t like that look.”
“Perhaps you and I should take a walk, John.”
John stiffens. “No, I think we can talk right here.”
Carson sighs, but moves towards John, taking his arm and leading him gently outside the lab anyway. Maybe in case he was worried he’d start personally weedwhacking the plants? Maybe. Or maybe to give him some privacy. Either way John reluctantly lets him, and they stand outside in the quiet hall.
“Rodney got to you, didn’t he?” John snaps.
“It’s not only that, lad. We’ve been having a bit of a snag finding a way out of this for him.”
“Well, that’s…convenient. He’s probably deleting things in the database to trip you up.”
“Look, I haven’t given up hope yet. We still need a cure in case some other poor person runs across that plant again. Parrish thinks it may be found on several worlds. Even so, it’ll take us some time to formulate a proper cure. I still think it’s possible.”
“Okay, so…that’s good news? It’ll just take some time. I can-I can live with that.”
“ And Rodney talked to me.”
“Crap.”
John rubs a temple. “He got to you, too. What is this? What’s with everybody? I bet you all are pod people, everyone’s been infected with—“
“John, I can only tell you the facts. One, Rodney is a very healthy plant and will likely live for hundreds of years in this form, maybe more. Two, he’s happier than I’ve seen him for a long time. Three, he’s of sound mind. I have done tests, and objectively speaking, he’s not being influenced by either Atlantis or his, uh, plant…self.”
John doesn’t say anything for a long moment. The sound of gritting teeth can be heard. “Oh, he is, is he?! Objectively? How can you even get objective data from that, he’s a damn houseplant—“
“Talk to him, John. Tell him how you feel about it.”
“You’ve been talking to Teyla, too, haven’t you?”
“What? No! I’m just saying…”
“Well, he won’t even talk to me.” John turns and stalks off.
~*~*~*~*~
“I think it’s pretty cool.”
John thinks breathing is pretty cool too, and wishes his body would get over being slammed into the floor and start doing that again, too. It takes a moment but his wheezing finally stops and he manages to regain his air.
“Sorry about that,” Ronon grins. John suspects he’s not sorry at all.
“Pretty cool? He’s a plant.”
“So? You can still talk to him. It’s not like he’s dead.”
Ronon comes in with a low kick and John just barely manages to dodge it.
“Yeah, talk to him, that’s it! He can’t go out on missions with us. He can’t watch movies with us—“
“I mean, he can—“
“Okay, he can, but he’s not here—ow!”
“Sorry.”
John rubs his eye. Is he bleeding? Or is that sweat…
“I mean, if you want his body back so bad, tell him.”
“You and—I didn’t say I wanted his body ?!”
“You literally just did, and have been complaining about it to everyone. Teyla told me.” Ronon does a flying leap, tackling John to the ground again. John goes flat on his back (again), huffing. “You’ve told everyone but Rodney. Just tell him you want his body back.”
“It’s not like that?!”
“It kinda is?”
Ronon helps him up, then kicks him back down with a sweep to the ankle.
“That was—that’s a dirty move!”
“Don’t take your eyes off the enemy,” Ronon says, shrugging. He goes to get his water bottle and John leaps up, throwing his entire weight against Ronon and they both go down.
“ Nice,” Ronon grins.
John growls and rolls away from him.
“Okay. What about this? What if I tell him and then he still says no?”
“You mean you’re worried that you’re not enough.”
…that was extremely insightful and Ronon always manages to surprise him. John glares at him from his spot on the floor. Ronon shrugs from his spot on the floor.
“You’re worried he’ll choose Atlantis over you. Over being a plant.”
“…I guess.”
John slowly gets up, pulling his legs up, leaning his arms over them. “Maybe I am.”
“Even if he does, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. It’s not a rejection or like he’s abandoning you.”
“Uh, it is? He’s basically quitting the team. You know how many times he’s saved our asses out there? Not having him there is going to be a serious detriment, he’s a valuable member of our team and he’s not doing this.”
“It’s not your choice. If the war was over and this was how he wanted to retire, would that be different?”
“I…well, that doesn’t matter because the war isn’t over!”
Ronon just looks at him. John sets his jaw and looks away. The Satedan puts his hand on his back.
“If you love him, you’ll love him no matter what form he’s in.”
“I didn’t say I love him!”
Ronon smirks and tackles him.
~*~*~*~*~
John stares at the computer. He looks back at Rodney, then back at the computer screen. The messaging system he’d set up isn’t turning on.
“Hey.”
John hesitates, then pokes a finger at the large stem. It feels weird. It feels weird cause that used to be human and now it’s not and he suddenly hates everything.
John groans and his head flops back. “Why does everything suck so much!”
You’re the one who sucks.
John jerks back, the messaging system is back.
“Rodney?! Jeez, finally—wait, I don’t suck, you suck!”
You suck because you won’t respect my decision. I have very little to say to you.
“Rodney, come on, I…” Great. John rubs his hair. He’s getting off to a great start here. “Look. I’ve been thinking. And talking to people.”
I know, you’ve talked to everyone. Probably should talk to Heightmeyer—
“Have you talked to Heightmeyer?!”
Duh. And yes, she cleared me, I’m not being influenced by my evil roots and leaves.
“I know, Carson told me about that part.”
I know.
“Wait, were you spying on me?”
Of course. Ronon really kicked your ass today.
“I don’t believe this—you knew ! You knew I’ve been trying to talk to you all this time and you—“
He throws a pencil at the stem, and it bounces off.
Learned your lesson though, didn’t you?
“You know what, I’m going to have Parrish trim your leaves into a poodle shape—“
Ha ha. Good luck with cold showers forever.
“Okay-okay, fine. I see your point of view. I see that it’s super cool to be part of Atlantis and a part of me is slightly jealous about that. I can also see that you’re much less stressed about—stuff, like your body, stuff…and I just…”
He so can’t say it.
“I just want you around. In that form. I—“
…the cursor blinks on the screen. He’s waiting. John realizes how much he’s missed this. The banter, talking with him.
How much he’s missed him.
“…miss…you.”
He gestures at the plant.
“Not just because you’re part of the team. You’re irreplaceable. Because yeah, we need you. But because…”
I need you.
“…you can’t stay a plant, Rodney…” he trails off in a voice that sounds strangely small.
There’s nothing on the screen for a few minutes.
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I really am going miss going out on missions.
John feels hot. His face must be turning red because suddenly he’s so pissed he can barely see. After all that?!
“You—really? You still—dammit, Rodney, I can’t lose you!”
You’re not losing me, John. I’m literally still here. I can even still talk you through stuff on missions. Zelenka is developing a mini-MALP with subspace communications, cameras and sensors
“That’s not what I—I mean, that would actually be super helpful but that’s not—I need you here. Physically here.”
Why? My body isn’t the greatest thing in the world, and I was only ever slowing you down
“I like your body here!”
John slams his head down on the keyboard, sending a slew of random letters into the messaging system.
Rodney gently deletes them and after a moment, continues.
Why?
“Because.”
He doesn’t move his head from the keyboard.
Because why?
He hates him so much. He doesn’t get it. He’s gonna make him literally spell it out?
“Because I need you here, with me.”
There’s nothing for a few seconds. Then—
I’m not sure what you’re saying, John.
…
John grabs the nearest leaf and kisses it.
There’s a long pause.
You
Really?
But
Wait. You like me? I mean, my body? You like me and my body. And my face? You wanna kiss my face? Why didn’t you say anything before?!
“Rodney.” John huffs and throws his hands up. This is the man…or plant, that he has apparently chosen. He wishes he could have a word with his own brain.
“Because it’s me?”
Okay, yeah, that’s a good point.
“So…so you’re coming back?”
There is a long pause.
A pause so long John’s suddenly afraid he’s gone again.
I can’t.
John stills. “What does that mean?”
I want to? John, I really want to. I can’t believe this is happening now, you couldn’t have told me that you like-like me, like, last week?
“ Rodney.”
Okay, okay. I want to. You have no idea how long I’ve liked you, that I’ve had an actual crush on you.
“Well. That’s great? But there’s a but in there.”
But I can do so much good like this, John. The database, all of Atlantis is open to
“Then after that. After you dig through the database.”
John, I
John feels very cold all of a sudden.
“It’s not enough.” It feels like someone is talking through himself, that he’s not really here. “I’m…not enough.”
You have no idea how much better I feel like this. I’m not anxious anymore, I can just think, all the time—I don’t need to sleep, to eat, well, believe it or not but the roots do have taste receptors
“You’d really choose being a plant over…this.”
I’m not rejecting you, John! I’m trying to say is I don’t want to be human anymore!
He needs to run. He moves back, tripping over his chair and falls back against the stupid stem, bruising his shoulder.
Against Rodney.
Because Rodney would rather be a plant.
This. Thing.
John shakes his head and leaves the room, running away.
~*~*~*~*~
“I thought I might find you here.”
Teyla’s voice is soft behind him, practically swept away by the wind and waves.
John doesn’t turn to look. He crosses his arms, despite his jacket it’s still chilly out here, on the pier.
“He’s been asking for you. He’s taken over everyone’s screens with that messaging program,” she says, with a quirk of her lips.
“Well, he could come out here and find me if he had a human body. Oh wait, he doesn’t .”
John doesn’t like the way his voice sounds.
It’s mean. Vicious.
“You told him.”
“Yeah, I told him. And guess what? It didn’t work.”
Teyla puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“And you know what he told me?” He shakes his head. “ I don’t want to be human anymore. You know how hard I-I fought to stay human? You know how many nightmares I have that I’ll wake up and not be?”
“And what are we?” Teyla says in a steady voice. “For you and I both carry blood of those who are not human, either. Mine is Wraith and yours is of the Ancestors, and have been our entire lives.”
Okay. He frowns, side-eying her.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better, or…”
“What I am trying to say is that…being human? Shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Well, I don’t know if you noticed, Teyla, but Rodney’s a plant and there’s a lot of things that he can’t do, like move—“
“Do you love him?”
The question catches him off guard. He stammers.
Teyla doesn’t move, her hand doesn’t move. The question is buffeted by wind but it too, doesn’t move.
It’s like the world is waiting for him to answer. He hangs his head, practically breathing it out.
“…yes.”
“Then that is your answer.”
“But he doesn’t want to return to being a human, not even for me! I mean, not saying I’m like, irresistible or anything, but—“
Teyla smiles, squeezing his arm. “Perhaps that’s part of it. He still clearly wants to be with you, John. It’s not that you’re not enough. It’s not a rejection. Perhaps this experience has changed him so greatly that he cannot bear to be in this form any longer. Or perhaps he thinks he can help Atlantis much more in this form.”
“While granted, yeah, he could, what’s that supposed to mean? I can’t exactly grow flowers, Teyla.”
“It means that whatever you figure out between the both of you…your love will endure. I believe in you both.”
She squeezes his arm again and leaves him there to contemplate on the windy pier.
~*~*~*~*~
John plops down on his desk in his quarters.
“I’m not giving myself up until the war is over, or I get injured beyond repair. Whichever comes first.”
Wait. What? Where the hell have you been, I’ve been looking all over for you?!
John glares at his webcam, where Rodney’s watching him. Unless he’s got a camera snuck in his room somewhere, which, since this is Rodney, he wouldn’t put it past him.
“I’m saying is that I love you more than surfing, popcorn, skateboarding, Ferris wheels, and football.”
Wait, slow down.
You love me?
Can we circle back to that
“Rodney. What I’m trying to say is that…if you won’t…can’t be human anymore, is that I still want to be with you. If you’ll have me.”
Wh
i mean, yes, of course?! I
That’s great
But you, your body, your amazing body is gonna-you love being active! You really are going to give all that up? For me? We could still hang out like this and
“Like I said. If we’re gonna be together, I wanna be together. And it’ll be after I wear the hell out of my body and don’t really need it anymore.”
Cool. I mean, well, as long as you’re not killed out on the field
“Carson says that as long as they bring my body back in enough time that the brain function will be preserved, the plant should be able to save my life.”
Carson’s great. We should tell him how great he is, you know I’ve never really spent the time to
“You’re getting sentimental as a plant, Rodney.”
Oh, ha ha. Hey, what do you think you’ll turn into? A sultry pine? A graceful willow?
John stares at the webcam. Maybe he should cover that. “Don’t stare at me like I’m a piece of vegetation, Rodney. You gotta love me for my mind, too.”
With an amazing set of flowers…
~*~*~*~*~
“Are you sure this is where, General? You’ve only got a few minutes before it starts.”
“I’m sure.”
“The sunlamps and the windows will take care of all your photosynthesis needs. We’ve spread soil but the metal will take care of everything. Just in case you don’t get vines like Rodney, the conduits in the walls will connect you to Atlantis’ systems.” Parrish clasps his hands together and goes behind the camera. Older now, and with thinning hair, but no less excitable. “Are you ready?”
“No,” John mutters. “I’m becoming a damn plant, how can anybody be ready for that?”
There’s a snickering sound over the speakers. Rodney had eventually gotten a speech synthesizer working that actually did sound like himself, trained on the hours and hours of audio he had recorded of his notes and memoirs.
“Trust me, John. You’re gonna love this.”
A gray-haired Carson is standing next to Parrish, monitoring the screen, but comes up to him, and suddenly hugs him. He blubbers against his shoulder. “Good luck, lad. You’re doin’ a wonderful thing.”
Teyla is there the moment that Carson lets go, pressing her forehead to his. John closes his eyes for a moment, his breath hitching.
“You will be lovely, John. And we will make sure we and our descendants take good care of you both.”
“I’m sure you wil—oof!” Ronon hauls him up in a great big bear hug.
“Gonna miss doing this, buddy,” he grins, before setting him back down. “Your fruit better be delicious. Promised a lot of people pies.”
“Wait—fruit? Who said I was gonna fruit—Rodney?!”
“You know, if you waited a minute to tell him that, Ronon, he wouldn’t be able to yell at you,” Rodney points out.
For a moment John expected Elizabeth to step out from behind the group. Even now, decades later, he hasn’t stopped expecting to see her…that even missing her hasn’t stopped. He knows that’s only going to get worse. He and Rodney were probably going to be around for a very long time—but it was the price he was going to have to pay.
He’d taken off his shoes some time ago but something’s happening with his feet under the soil he’d stepped into. He can see roots snaking through the soil, and a weird sensation as his feet anchor to something hard.
Hey. What was that—
“What?! They do have taste receptors—“
“It won’t be long now,” Carson says, quietly.
He’s right. John can feel his legs stiffening, and he’s almost afraid to look lest he get stuck in this position forever, but his pants are shredding, his lower half becoming trunk-like. His breathing is slowing, his insides feeling strange—his skin is itching, hardening, and leaves and vines begin pushing out of his arms, his fingers splitting and stretching.
“What’s it feel like?” Parrish asks excitedly.
“Weird.”
John glares at him because really, how are you gonna ask a guy who’s turning into a plant what it feels like—except it was, yeah, exactly that. Weird. Before he can say anything else he stiffens further and can’t move his mouth anymore. His arms, now splitting further, lengthening, stretching…his back is against the wall. Parrish had insisted he be well enough away from Rodney as to not overcompete with him and use the wall as a brace to grow on in case he ended up something similar to Rodney, and well, looks like that’s working cause he can feel himself…growing on it.
So, so weird. Little, thin, root-like attachments spread out behind him as he thins out and stretches further and further, like spaghetti, his vines and tendrils, lush and green, growing, spreading. Some snake into the walls and over computers—
—for a moment he wonders, a little afraid, if he can’t hook up the same way Rodney did. That he’d be stuck as a regular old plant—
—and then his sight and hearing goes all at once.
It’s darkness. He must not have like, a face anymore, if they’re gone, and that fear grows a little more. Did he make a mistake? But the darkness isn’t…completely dark. It’s not sight, he knows that, but he can see the room in a way, or more like…feel it? Rodney’s already extensive system covers so much (enough that he’d allowed some to be trimmed back to make room for John) but he can feel it.
Feel Rodney.
Our roots are intertwining.
What? Rodney, is that…
Yeah! Turns out we can communicate through our root systems, too. Neat, huh? You should be coming online pretty shortly, your tendrils are almost interwoven with the cables.
He can feel how big the room is, know its dimensions, how many people are it, sense the electricity flowing through the walls, the water in the pipes and watering system…
Okay, that’s a little cool—
And then suddenly there’s Atlantis.
It’s like the control chair but bigger. It’s the whole city, the database, the controls, all of it, all at once, with immediate total access. He knows instantly every single thing that is going on in the city, from who’s in a Jumper to a new marine watching a bootleg copy of the newest movie in the Fast and the Furious franchise (on like, number 32 now), to Parrish recording this to—
—Rodney.
Rodney, there, like a glowing blue beacon in Atlantis, he’s just…there. Him, all of him, everything that makes him, him.
There.
Rodney, I had…no idea it was like this.
I told you so.
He sounds so smug. I’ve been telling you over and over again and you wouldn’t believe me—now you believe me?
Yeah. I do.
“John? Give us a sign you’re there, lad,” Carson’s voice cuts through John’s wonder and John laughs, feeling happier than he’s been in…a very long time.
“Yeah, I’m here, Carson.”
He can see him, like Rodney explained how, through the cameras. But he can also feel him, in the room, through his vines and the way they can just sense…life.
“You have no idea how cool this is.”
“See! I reserve the right to say I told you so for, oh, a century.”
“Only a century, huh?”
“Maybe two. At least two…”
Teyla shakes her head, giving Ronon a knowing look.
They leave them to their gentle bickering, hearing how every word really meant I love you.
Parrish looks up, his eyes glittering and wide as he sees buds and dark blue flowers start to pop up on General Sheppard’s vines.
“Yes! I knew he’d be a flowering one!”
~*~*~*~*~
“You know, I could make it so they taste horrible,” John’s voice comes over the intercom, as Ronon rolls his eyes, digging a knife into the stem.
“But you won’t, because you think it’s cool they all taste like candy,” Rodney points out.
“Cotton candy. The blue ones are cotton candy and the red ones are fruit punch. You’re just jealous because you don’t get to eat them.”
“I helped make them, it’s like that painting of Saturn, and I’m not becoming an abomination. You should be mad that they’re eating them!”
“Don’t worry, Parrish is saving a few to grow,” Ronon splits one of the melons open, causing Rodney to groan. Ronon grins, digging into it.
“Cotton candy?”
“Yep. A little hint of punch on this one.”
“Damn, sometimes I can’t separate the two—“
“You both make me sick. What’s gonna happen if the seeds take, huh? And we get hyper-intelligent plant offspring everywhere? We could be like kudzu, taking over entire planets!”
“It’s really good,” Ronon says over a mouthful of fruit.
A beat.
“Really? How good?” Rodney asks.
“Rodney…” John does the mental equivalent of rolling his eyes. “We’ll worry about that, when and if it comes to it. For all we know, we simply created some cool new fruit.”
“Okay, I admit to missing food, you happy? The one thing I miss.”
“Good. More for me and the pies,” Ronon says cheerfully after another bite, going after another stem.
Lucky that doesn’t really hurt, John mutters to Rodney. I don’t get why I have to be the one to make the fruit.
But you’re so good at it! Rodney pulls him closer in their mental connection, the world they’ve built for themselves. It’s Atlantis and it’s them, a plant network that’s just as good as neurons.
I never thought I’d spend my retirement as a farmer. Or an orchard.
You would have made a great farmer. The beard you were sporting really worked for you.
The mental kisses were just as nice as the regular ones.
Mmm, yeah?
I thought so. Not that you’re not hot now.
It’s my flowers, isn’t it? You can’t resist them.
They’re to die for.
John smiles without smiling, but it’s there in their world, in their connection.
No. You’re to live for.