Chapter Text
"Joooooker, I'm bored man! We've been down here for hourrrrs." Skull whines as he spreads out in his seat.
Panther shoves his leg out of her space with an annoyed grunt. "It’s only been like two, and we've barely found any materials! Keep it together; wasn't it you who was all hyped for this at the start?"
"Yeah, at the start! I'm tired of smashin' Anzu now. Can't we go to a different area? Akz- Akesuh- Aki-"
"The Path of Akzeriyyuth?" Oracle interjects.
"Yeah, whatever. The shadows of Akzerry are borin' as hell."
"Hey, be nice! The shadows here are from my palace." Oracle scolds. "Also, they're the only ones that reliably drop aluminium sheets. We can't go anywhere else, as those things are the whole reason we're here."
"Yeah, but–"
Without even getting the chance to complain further, Skull is flung forward into Fox as the Monabus rams itself into another shadow. The team quickly gets into formation at Joker's call, with the frontliners consisting of Queen, Noir, and Skull.
"Hey, Joker! I think this is an opportunity to get a new mask!" Oracle crackles through their coms from Necronomicon. "Dunno who she is, but I'm getting Bless vibes from her. Maybe try a Curse attack? It's a fifty-fifty shot for good damage."
"Those aren't good odds..." Queen sighs, but shakes her disapproval off by readying her battle stance as the shadow before them regains its own composure.
"Wretched cretins!" The shadow yowls as it waves around a golden staff bearing an Ankh. "You dare disrespect a higher being such as I?"
The shadow in question does seem pretty regal. It appears to be half-woman half-cat, with straight black hair chopped evenly across her shoulders. Silver cuffs with various jewels line her wrists, ankles and collar, and while her dress is rather plain, it's still quite obvious it belongs to someone of high ranking. Not quite the garb of a Pharaoh, but something close to it. Her golden fur bristles as she waits for an answer.
[Of course we dare.]
[Disrespect is actually a form of flattery.]
➔[Apologies O' Divine One.]
"What?" The shadow takes a step back, her posture relaxing and features loosening into something confused, before they all coil back into a frightening scowl. "YOU MOCK ME? He who bows to divinity without knowing what it is that he worships shall be PUNISHED!"
"Um, our apologies," Noir starts, standing straight and poised as she attempts to change the shadow's stance. "We're new to the area and don't know the local religion too well... but your regal air is unmistakable! Please, find it in your heart to forgive us!" She finishes with a bow.
Queen and Skull exchange glances, then bow after Noir whilst Joker places a hand to his heart and offers a deep and solemn nod. The shadow calms and places her hands to her hips, turning up her whiskered snout at them.
"I see. Allow me to impart some knowledge then, as I am Bastet! I shall become your mask and together we'll–”
Joker's lips curl into a devious smile and he finally bows before the Goddess, but only after interrupting her.
[I want an item.]
"You... huh? Ah, I suppose it's only natural for a greedy human to vie for my riches. Very well, I'll offer you a Life Stone then." Bastet tosses it half-heartedly to Joker, who catches it with ease.
His smile doesn't drop from his face though, even as he pockets the stone.
[You can do better than that.]
Noir nervously glances at Joker. Should they really be pushing their luck like this?
Bastet's ears flatten, but she procures another stone, tossing it with a bit more force. "Selfish little... That will be all, won't it? I have better things to do than handing out morsels to strays."
Panther holds her breath from their watchpoint, just down the tracks. She can't hear what's happening at all, but the shadow's begun to look real aggressive and it's making her nervous. Oracle said it was a new one, wasn't it? Why isn't Joker taking its mask? Sure, all the shadows in this area are painfully weak, but at least they'd know its weaknesses just in case. Panther turns to Fox, who's diligently cleaning his katana and wonders if they should move closer, when suddenly a loud bang cuts through the murmuring wind of Mementos.
Bastet snarls loud enough for all to hear. "Vile thing; greed is not a virtue! Trying to shake me down... you'll PAY with your BLOOD!"
She swings her staff and casts Maragi, managing to hit Joker, Noir, and Skull. None are burned and seem well off, so Queen doesn't bother healing them and instead opts to leap onto Johanna and cast Freila.
“No weakness to Nuke!” Oracle calls from above.
Noir pulls off her mask and feels the delightful presence of Milady; she strikes a pose and commands Triple Down, hoping to strike a weakness or at least down the enemy with a crit.
”Resist!”
She frowns and falls back, out of the way of another burst of flames. Skull comes swinging in beside her with a Zionga from Seten Tasei that makes every hair on her body stand on end.
”Resist!”
Oracle is starting to sound worried. Skull and Noir take a defensive stance as Joker stands tall next to them, eyes closed as he sifts through his masks. Bastet’s claws are bared and she lunges for Joker right as he picks Arsene's mask. He casts Eiga right as Bastet gets in close and–
–sends himself straight into the wall behind them.
”REFLECT!” Oracle shouts with audible worry. “Joker's downed! Someone heal him!”
Skull grips his club and swings it straight into Bastet's stomach to give their leader some distance; the moment it connects the cat yowls and releases a guttural cry that makes Skull’s skin crawl. He immediately drowns out any feelings of discomfort with the thought that she totally deserved it for messin' with Joker. Queen revs Johanna behind him and charges straight for the stumbling Bastet, popping a wheelie and attempting to crush the shadow under her might. Panther makes it to Joker before Noir can and casts Diarama, carefully cradling his head as he blinks back into awareness.
"Geez, your buffed out Personas are real trouble in situations like this." Panther chastises with little bite behind her words. "Uh, should the rest of us move in? Skull and Queen are keeping the shadow back, but..."
"They're not doing any damage." Fox muses. "Perhaps I ought to freeze that cat in its tracks."
Joker holds up a hand and brushes Panther and the others away from him as he stands back up.
"Stay where you are. Noir has yet to try any Psy attacks and I have a few other tricks up my sleeve. We'll deal."
"This wouldn't be an issue if you just took her mask, Joker..." Mona frowns, his tail twitching in irritation. "It’s Anzu that drops those sheets anyway."
"But perhaps Bastet would drop more?" Noir offers in Joker’s defense, eyes flicking between him and Mona. "Anubis certainly does; and Bastet doesn't have any instant-kill attacks, so... um, well maybe she’d make an easier target is all..."
A cry of pain from Skull turns their attention back to the fight and Joker bolts across the tracks at once, switching masks to Jack Frost and sending Bufu down upon the cat. Oracle affirms that no weakness was found again and Joker growls to himself. Both Queen and Skull are in dire need of support; he could use this chance to heal Queen so she could do the same to Skull, or switch his mask and–
The shadow suddenly looms over Joker with a low hiss, her ears flattened and teeth bared with malicious intent. How she moved so quickly he doesn't know, but he fears he won't be able to tank this next hit.
"Fools who tread upon my holy ground, greedy little vermin who have come to raid our tomb..." Bastet spits as she takes a few steps forward and Joker takes several back. "Punishment is inevitable. A curse... yes, I shall cast a curse upon you."
The others, who are struggling to get Skull and Queen back on their feet, look up in horror as Bastet raises her staff towards a cornered Joker. Noir picks up her axe to try and circumvent his incoming demise, but a blinding flash of light stops her in her tracks. Bastet has disappeared and in her place lays a crumpled heap of leather named Joker.
"That's weird..." Oracle starts in a far-too casual tone, considering who just perished. "Joker's vitals are unchanged. He didn't take any damage..? Woo! I'm calling this one a win!"
"What? That's not a win!" Queen rasps out as she presses a hand to her side to ease her wound, "Something still happened to Joker!"
The others too, voice their concerns as they approach their leader. A red glove twitches between a mass of all-black fabric and pushes the lump up with a pained groan, leading the party to breathe a somewhat relieved sigh. Joker struggles, but Fox and Noir each take an arm and help hoist him up.
"Joker, are you alright? I believe Bastet casted some kind of Pharaoh's curse on you... can you still understand me?" Fox asks gently, as he secures Joker's arm over his shoulders.
Joker's ears lay flat against his head, but perk up at Fox's inquiry. "Yes, I'm fine. A bit dizzy, but I'm not in any major pain. I think... I think we ought to call this trip for now." He sighs in annoyance and his tail lashes out in tandem, brushing against Panther's leg, causing her to squeal and drop him.
Joker stumbles into Fox and his weight sends them both crashing down into the subway tile beneath. Panther is quick to spew apologies, but when she suddenly stops short, Joker gets the feeling something is very wrong. Or perhaps he's mistaking one sensation for another? There's a very pleasant one coming from the way Fox's gloves brush against the fur on his... ears? At the... the top of his...
"Joker, you're a surprisingly bad lap-cat." Fox says in a strained tone. There’s clear mirth in his eyes though, and makes no attempt to stop his petting.
At once, all the thieves erupt into bewildered comments that Joker can't quite parse as he lays against Fox. Ears. He has ears? And a tail, he can feel that too, flicking to and fro between his coattails. Joker feels heat creeping up his neck, even though he has little reason to feel embarrassed. It's not as if one can just... control whether or not they sprout cat-like features. At least he's not purring, right?
Noir places a hand on Joker's shoulder and pulls him to sit up. "Here, Joker. I'm going to cast Amirta Drop, if that's alright?"
"I'm certain that won't work– nor will any of Takemi’s medicine. Whatever Joker is afflicted with isn't like our usual ailments. I don't think it can be cured so easily." Mona says, trotting over to get a better look at Joker's new features.
"So then let's just leave Mementos, yeah? The only thing that follows us out is the cash and a sore body." Skull reaches down to aggressively ruffle the top of Joker's head. "If we leave, Joker will be back to normal in no ti– GYAH!"
Skull wrenches his hand away as Joker bares his fangs and hisses loudly. Beneath his mask, his pupils have shrunk to sharp slits and his gaze is trained very harshly on Skull.
"Dude! What the hell! I thought you were gonna bite me, man!"
"I thought about it." Joker huffs, as his ears flick and twitch.
"Skull, you idiot. Cats are really sensitive about where you pet them. You should be more gentle with Joker, especially after a fight like that!" Panther clicks her tongue and kneels next to their leader, pulling off one of her gloves to properly scratch at the base of his ears.
Joker immediately registers the touch of her long nails and commits it to memory, acutely mourning the fact he'll probably never feel it again once they leave Mementos today. He closes his eyes and makes no attempt to hold back the loud purr that reverberates through his whole body.
There's a gasp from somewhere, Oracle maybe? Definitely a giggle from Noir or Panther, or perhaps it was Mona who– No. No, no no no! This is getting out of hand far too quickly. In one swift motion Joker pries himself off of Fox and turns away from the others, heading towards the direction of the subway platform. He snaps his fingers and attempts to keep his voice level as he asks Mona to transform, but the smug “Sure thing Joker” he gets in response is solid proof he's already made a fool of himself.
Willing the blush off his face, Joker adjusts the mirror in the Monabus and catches six overly cheery smiles reflecting back at him. Great. That's a level of dignity he'll never get back.
At least it can't get any worse.