Work Text:
Love is a fire that burns unseen,
a wound that aches yet isn’t felt,
an always discontent contentment,
a pain that rages without hurting,
- Luís Vaz de Camões
※ ※ ※
In this particular span of Heisei era, she goes by the name of Kaori.
A part of her story is written in the history books hidden in the darkest corner of the deepest part of the Kamo library, covered in dusts and cobwebs. Her story is whispered among sorcerers and curse-users alike.
Her story goes like this.
She was the second daughter of a rich and respectable family and was sought for her beauty, grace and willowy figure. Her homemaking skills were exemplary. As long as she could remember, she was raised and trained to be the perfect wife a man especially one of noble lineage needed.
People forget that part about her and how cruel is that? All they remember now is she is the woman who is capable of giving birth to human-spirit hybrids; the woman Noritoshi Kamo - the stain of Kamo family held captive for his intellectual curiosity; the woman he performed numerous experiments on until her body and mind gave up; the woman who had nine pregnancies and nine abortions.
It is never recorded in great detail how or why she died. Everybody just believed she died. And she did - die that is or at least, her soul died leaving her with nothing but its residuals and a thing in her head.
A thing that uses her body and others’ to continue pursuing knowledge especially in medical field and amusing himself with death and destruction. At least when it serves its purpose, the brain lets the residuals of her soul allow to dictate her actions. And that to her meant living.
Despite the absence of her soul, she lived through different eras — Meiji, Taisho and Showa, witnessing the passage of time. To avoid suspicions of the people around her, she moved from one location to another, lived under different identities and appropriately faked the deaths of those identities.
Too many identities that she was not surprised anymore that she had forgotten her distant past especially that of her original self like promises written on the dunes. But it no longer matters. What matters now is bringing the New Age of Curses.
And this Kaori’s objective is to create a vessel strong enough to house Ryoumen Sukuna.
※ ※ ※
Kaori places the two cups of coffee on the tray. “Thank you for waiting,” she says politely and with enough friendliness to make the cafe’s customers feel valued.
The customer instead of reaching for his tray, leans toward her. With a hand covering his mouth, he says in a conspiratorial tone. “See my friend over there? He’s Itadori Jin and he can’t keep his eyes off of you from the moment we stepped in here an hour ago.”
Kaori briefly spares their table a glance. True enough, his friend is indeed looking at her but immediately shifts his eyes when he notices her gaze, blush slightly tinting his cheeks. “Mind if you give him your number?”
The man in question is tall with hair too light to make him stand out in the crowd and eyeglasses that makes him look scholarly. Under the sunlight that filters through the blinds, he looks unquestionably handsome. Physical appearance matters to her but not as much the strength of the person’s cursed energy. While she can sense that he has one, his cursed energy is too weak to be even be described as flicker. And what good is someone like that to her?
“He's not my type,” she says frankly.
“That’s too bad. He’s a great guy,” his friend said. He gave her a wink and left, carrying his tray.
Kaori mentally scoffs. She does not need a great guy. What she needs is someone powerful enough to give her what she wants.
But this is how she learns of his existence.
※ ※ ※
While Jin still frequents in the cafe, he no longer stares at her, at least as far as she observes and she treats him like how she does with other customers - with reserved politeness.
She has no time for a weak man like himself… that is until she meets Itadori Wasuke.
When the old man walks into her workplace, it is not his grouchiness or his personal thunderous dark cloud hovering above his head that make him stand out (her co-workers say otherwise). What got her attention is his facial structure. It reminds him of the Disgraced One of the Heian Era, especially when he frowns.
Oh, she thinks. Perhaps, it is time for her to look into the Itadori ancestry.
Three nights… it takes her three consecutive all-nighter to find out the truth.
Ryoumen descendants.
Who would have thought that Sukuna who obsessively seek strength still spared time to sow his oats?
Her laughter echoes in her small living room. She leans back on her chair and covers half of her face with her hand as she stares at her ceiling. She finds amusement at the irony that the descendants (at least the two she met) of the strongest sorcerer in the Heian period are weak with almost no cursed energy or so little of it. Talk about over-dilution!
She can only imagine how Sukuna will disown all of them before killing them for the disgrace and weaklings that they are. Weak as these descendants are, she thinks they are useful to her. They still carry a part of his genes and nobody is more perfect to be the vessel of the Disgraced One than his very own descendant.
Madness glints on the grin that appears on her face.
Contrary to her initial thought, Itadori Jin deserves her time. She slowly makes her way to her bedroom while shedding her clothes one by one until she has nothing on but her panties.
She stands in front of her full-length mirror. She imitates the women of the romantic movies she watches when they are in the presence of the love interest. She smiles. She bats her eyelashes. She looks from underneath her eyelashes. She coyly tucks her few hair strands behind her ear. She giggles. She coos.
She slams her palms against the mirror, finding the practice tedious and pathetic.
She proceeds to inspect her body. There is nothing wrong with it but she has lived so long and her post-pregnancies left marks on it - subtle as they are. Maybe a month of daily exercise will make her butt and legs more shapely and stomach more toned. She cups at her breasts and thinks she needs them to be more pert. Luckily, she has the necessary medical knowledge to do so.
It is time to prepare herself to seduce that brat.
※ ※ ※
Two weeks into her seduction game and Jin is none the wiser. Much to her annoyance, he still treats with the same politeness she had shown him from the beginning. When prompted, he talks to her about mundane things and not once, did he even hint of him being interested in her or wanting her phone number.
She, to him, is just an employee of a cafe he frequents to and that is a blow to her ego. Back in Meiji Era, affluent and noble families alike seek her hand in marriage so how dare that this pathetic human being, weak-willed and obtuse, dismisses her so nonchalantly.
She sighs and breathes deeply. Her ego can take as many hits for the sake of her plans. She can wait. Waiting for that brat to come around is but a sliver of her time.
Then came a month and then another and her flirtations does not make a dent on Jin. It irritates her. Who would have thought that seducing someone in Heisei period is difficult than in Meiji period? They are all libertine no matter what facade they wear so why is that brat never looks her way? Have males changed since then?
When she sees that fading hickey just above the brat’s neck - just above his button-up shirt collar, she decides she had been patient enough.
She grabs a table napkin and haphazardly writes her phone number on it. With murder in her eyes, she marches towards his table. She slams the table napkin on his table, surprising him. “For the record,” she says through gritted teeth, “I like guys who don’t give up easily.”
Jin blinks at her. He raises his hands in a placating manner and replies calmly, “For the record, I respect a woman’s ‘no’. ”
Kaori cannot help but smile, obviously taken a back by his words. A moment later, she adds, “I like movies especially suspense ones.”
“So do I.”
“My shift ends at 6 pm today.”
Jin leans back on his seat, crosses his arms and smirks. “And this is relevant to what exactly?” he teases. He lets few seconds tick by before saying with a put-upon look, “Lemme check my schedule.”
Kaori smiles then struts back to the counter, making sure to sway her hips a tiny bit more because she knows Jin is watching her.
When she steps from the cafe door reserved for employees, her heart flutters when she sees Jin across the street.
“I’m actually waiting for that beautiful coworker of yours,” Jin tells her when she reaches him. “Said her shift ends at 6 pm.” Here, he glances at his wrist watch. “Is she still in there?”
“Unfortunately, something came up and she has to work overtime,” Kaori answers with her tone just as serious and teasing as his. She adjust the bag on her left shoulder. “Lucky for you,” she declares haughtily, “I’m free and willing to treat you to a movie.”
Jin lets out a laugh that makes her heart tingle with something she cannot put her finger on. He takes her bag to carry it for her and she lets him. “Lucky me,” he says with a sarcasm that makes her smile.
This is the beginning of their story. The beginning of Itadori Jin’s end.
※ ※ ※
His seduction is a means to getting him on her bed until it isn’t. She realizes this on a cold January day when snow has been falling continuously and coldness hangs in the air.
Between pants, she moans when Jin grazes her pert nipple with his teeth. She drags her fingers through his hair and pulls him up for a burning kiss. He lets her. He lets her breathe into him; lets her touch his very soul through their lips and lets her rolls them over.
He lightly trails his fingers down on her back and settles his hands on her butt. He moans her name when they pull apart. The look he gives her makes her shiver with want and with something else - something she cannot name because the feeling is something she has not felt before. Not once in the thousands years she existed. It scares her. It excites her.
She puts a distance between them. “I have an early shift and you have a preparation to make for school day tomorrow,” she reminds him. She ignores his childish pout and gets up from the bed. She ignores his chuckles, deciding to spare herself of the smug look he wears upon noticing her gait and his essence sliding down on her thighs. That bastard.
She shrieks when she is lifted up in the air before she is held tightly in his arms. In return, she slaps him in the chest, “What the fuck!” Despite the sharpness of her voice, there is tenderness when she puts her arms around his neck - a gesture that seems to timidly whisper I know I can trust you. I trust you.
He laughs and she feels that warm sensation that blooms from her heart and spreads all the way to her body. She tries and fails to fight the blush that warms her cheek.
“Kaori,” a reverent Jin whispers quietly, “I do love you.”
She stares at him. Love? What is love? She wants to ask. She has never felt it before. She thought she had it when she got married to the heir of an opulent family only to find out her family had sold her like a livestock to the highest bidder. She thought she had it until she gave birth to something that did not resemble a human. She thought she had it until she was ostracized and she stumbled into a temple she thought was her respite but was actually her own personal hell in this world. She thought she had it until she realized, someone like her would never have it.
On her death bed, she accepted that it is her curse to never have it but when she looks at Jin — She looks at him and thinks, maybe that curse died with her soul back then. Perhaps, she can have it… with Jin.
She smiles and cups his face. “You’re mine and I’m yours.”
His heart cracks. It is not the words he longs to hear but he sees the sadness in the depths of her eyes and he understands. He can wait for her. He can show her his love. It’s okay. I’ll teach you about love, his tender gaze and loving kiss tell her.
This is the beginning of the end of that woman who knows nothing but betrayal.
※ ※ ※
He is a means to an end. He still is but he is also something more.
For Ryoumen Sukuna’s descendant, Jin is weak and a part of her is always irritated with that truth. However, as a person, his humanity and kindness are impressive. He cares too much. He commits too much to his students’ safety and future.
So committed he is that even when he is running a high fever, he stumbles from his room into the hallway in the middle of the night.
“Do you need something?” An alarmed Kaori asks from his couch, closing her book.
Jin weakly waves his hand, dismissing her concerns.
“Jin?” she becomes even alert when he continues to stumble toward the front door. She grabs his arm. “What is going on?”
“There will be a gang fight that’s going to go down 30 minutes from now,” he explains, wheezing. His hands tremble as he ties his shoe laces. “One of the problematic kids in my class is there to fight as part of the initiation. That’s what the other students are saying.”
“You can’t go out like that!”
“I’m not there to fight. I’m just going to talk sense into him.”
“Just call the police.”
“No, by the time they come, it’ll be too late.” He stands up and due to dizziness, he loses his balance.
“Jin, your fever hasn’t gone down yet. You can’t go there. You’ll be endangering yourself.” When he moves towards the door, she growls. “You’re gonna get yourself killed, you stubborn man!” When that does not stop him, she has no choice but to use a simple spell to render him unconscious. She catches him and drags him back to his bed.
She places a cooling gel patch on his forehead. She checks his phone and sighs. She knows the boy means a lot to him. They all mean a lot to him and he… he is important to her. She sighs. She grabs her phone and sends her concise instruction. She does not need to warn her contact of the consequences for failure.
When he wakes up, he sees her looking at him worriedly.
“The gang fight!” He says and grabs his phone. He looks for the messages but finds none. He looks at Kaori who is chuckling softly.
“First time to see someone of your age hallucinating due to fever and mumbling nonsense,” she explains. “If I didn’t stop you, you’d be out in your apartment with just your boxers.” Her grin widens when she sees his blush and his poor attempt to cover himself as if she has not seen him naked and wrecked.
“Shut up,” he mutters. His blush darkens when she chuckles more. He pouts.
She leans and kisses his forehead. She feels so unbearably fond of him she trembles. Oh, to have all of him as hers makes her head spin; makes her think of so many possibilities; makes her want to devour all of him. She softly thumbs his cheeks but her thought is nothing but mine, mine, mine, you’re mine.
He is a means to an end. He still is but he is also something more.
This is the beginning of the end of that woman who knows nothing about love.
※ ※ ※
She knows they are moving too fast but who cares? The faster she gets what she wants, the better.
Jin takes her to his hometown to introduce her to his father as someone whom he is dating with the thought of marrying her.
For someone who has no cursed energy or has no talent to see the cursed spirits, the way Wasuke looks at her sets her on edge. Can he feel it? The dissonance between her body and the brain that resides in it? The absence of a soul? The malevolent aura that seeps through her pores when she is not careful? Does he see through the long stitched scar on her forehead and see a parasitic brain? More importantly, does he know what she is?
To deflect his suspicions and to make Jin dismiss Wasuke’s thoughts about her as just ramblings of an old man, she acts the way she was taught in her house when meeting the father of her prospective husband - respectful and subservient.
She can tell that Jin looks amuse with her subservience and that he will tease her after about her very traditional views of meeting the family of the man she wants to spend her life with but she does not care. She will do anything to convince Wasuke of her innocence.
Except that he remains distrustful of her. Whenever he has a chance, he continues to warn Jin about her and the death she will bring to him. He even asks for his son to leave her. The nerve!
But Jin — her dear Jin — remains steadfast in his trust and his love for her even after they got engage; have their son - Yuuji and after they got married.
He remains as hers and she knows and is certain that he will never betray her. That thought exhilarates her; sparks fire that warms her to her core; fills all the void in her that she can not help the emotion that tumbles from her lips.
A thousand years or more and she finally finds someone for her. She blinks back her tears and presses her lips against his. “I love you.”
Jin grins and whispers fervently, “I do love you, Kaori, now and forever.”
※ ※ ※
Even though Jin is the balm of her sufferings, he will never be her downfall, she is sure of it. In fact, having all of him just makes her more focus on her goal; inspires her decision to have their child play the most important part in her plans.
To that end, she wants the babe in her womb to be better than a normal human being. For that to happen, throughout her pregnancy, she slips into her pocket of dimension without Jin being aware. In there, she expertly draws seals on her abdomen with blood and recites chants in old language. She focuses her cursed energy on her womb. Once in a while, she swallows bits and pieces of flesh that has been imbued with cursed energy.
She caresses her abdomen while she quietly tells the baby in her womb that she needs it to be perfect for her…for Jin. It must. Otherwise, it will end up dead just like the others.
※ ※ ※
When she gives birth, it brings memories of her previous pregnancies and abortions and it scares her. Will she fail again? Will her son look disfigured like a monster?
But all her fears and worries disappears when a healthy baby boy is put in her arms. Relief fills her when she sees him. He is not transfigured at all. She looks at Jin when he presses a kiss on her temple.
“He looks like me,” he states breathlessly and already mesmerized with their baby.
She nods and smiles. But that smile disappears when it dawns on her that she cannot feel his cursed energy. Does she have to get rid of him? Refusing to immediately admit her failure, she closes her eyes and lets the tendrils of her own cursed energy reach out to him. With tears fallings, she presses her forehead to his. Her son, she realizes, is not like Gojo Satoru who upon birth has cursed energy — so immense, it overwhelmed everybody in the birthing room — wrapped around his tiny body. Her son has latent cursed energy which does not pose a problem to her plans. She can work with it.
Cursed energy aside, she cannot tell if he is capable of being a vessel but something tells her, he is. It is not her motherly affection that makes this observation but her cold, objective logic.
“He’s perfect,” she whispers between tears. She has given birth to a masterpiece. She presses a kiss on his tiny forehead.
And although their relationship with Wasuke is strained for a long time now, as per traditional, they still let him name their child. Yuuji for ‘unwavering humanity’.
It is not lost on her why Wasuke suggested that name. She knows. He may have Jin’s look but she is her son (masterpiece) through and through and that will not change or the part he will play in her plans regardless of his name.
※ ※ ※
When the curse that has been plaguing her since Meiji era catches her, it is on a humid night. She and Jin are on a date - just one of the rare few they manage to squeeze in between child-rearing and work. She aches for him. He hungers for her. It is no surprise that the moment they step out from the pub, he expertly herds her to a dark alley.
She plays coy although she knows what will happen there and it excites her. The quick fuck will tide them over until after they put Yuuji to sleep and are alone in their bedroom.
One moment, she has Jin in front of her, covering her body with his as he drags his hungry mouth on her décolleté. In the next, blood splatters on her face and dress and a grade one cursed spirit steps into the dark. She senses his thirst for a young woman’s supple flesh — her flesh.
Jin haphazardly lies on her feet in a humiliating manner and with his body cut into two. He — her Jin, is dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
It is like she is back in Meiji period when she lost everything. It is wrong.
Unfair.
Dark.
Cold.
Empty.
The cursed spirit lets out a grunt of confusion when in a blink of an eye, the beautiful woman with supple body is replaced by a bespectacled older-looking man with slicked short dark hair combed back and with a short mustache. His malevolent energy is sharp and controlled. The spirit trembles.
In the brief moment that the cursed spirit is staring at his sudden appearance, Kamo Noritoshi — the stain of the Kamo clan, has already manipulated the blood pooling on his feet to compress and condense and pierces his enemy in multiple areas.
With the cursed spirit exorcised, Kamo looks at Jin’s corpse. No, he has not lost anything. Unlike that woman, he does not feel the loss of a loved one but the loss of a vital living component in his project.
Contrary to what she believes, everything is not lost. If he harvest his sperm cells within twenty-four hours after death, they are still viable and can still be used to create more vessel. He can study his DNA too. And of course, he still has Yuuji. But with Jin gone, he has no choice but to move forward with his plans for the boy earlier than originally scheduled.
With Jin dead, all he has to do is fake Kaori’s death. He causes a car accident bad enough for flames to consume the cars involve. The fire is bad enough to char the fake bodies the police will declare as Kaori’s and Jin’s.
This is the death of the Kaori Jin knew.
※ ※ ※
Kaori stands hidden in the shadows as she watches Itadori Wasuke guides Yuuji on his first day at a nursery.
Seeing Yuuji reminds her of her loss. There is so much of Jin in him. She lets a shaky sigh, fighting back the grief clawing back from the depths of her core.
His excitement is palpable. He is talking endlessly to his grandpa who, after losing his son and carrying a heavy secret, looks older than his age. The wind carries Yuuji's innocent laughter to her hidden place. The tone of his laughter is similar to Jin’s albeit lighter and more melodious. It reminds her of a wind chime dancing in the summer breeze. She longs, oh, how longs and the emptiness in her become once more unbearable.
She reaches out from the shadows, hoping her fingers will graze her son’s skin.
Kenjaku controls the muscles of that hand to pull it back. He looks at it and decides it is best to shed this body who is swallowed by grief and loss and air it out in his pocket of dimension.
He can still watch Kaori’s son (masterpiece) in another body.
Don’t worry, he tells the woman’s body, you’ll be reunited when the time is right.