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If there was one thing Nerissa can be sure about the archiver after knowing her was how caring the girl was, how loving she was. They were but a band of misfits, misfortune in their every step, yet it doesn’t stop her from being kind. She’s witnessed her kindness in so many ways, and yet Shiori denies it all the same.
“I want to be kind,” Shiori mentions when the raven asks. Nerissa melts a little, despite knowing little about Shiori’s past, she knows she has had her fair share of pain. They all did, and yet the archiver refuses to be anything but. Nerissa likes it when she gets to see it, a rare moment where Shiori isn’t so on edge, where she wasn’t so focused on keeping them safe.
Nerissa likes how it grows to be such a common thing instead.
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Shiori loves any form of arts. She loved creatives, whether it was written, drawn, composed, anything. She encourages them so lovingly, that even Nerissa wants to strive to do better for her craft. Not that she doesn’t already feel that way, there was just something about the archiver that was so enlightening. Nerissa doesn’t know how to put it into words, doesn’t know how she’ll ever explain the way Shiori makes someone love what they were doing even more than they already were. There was gratefulness in every appreciation, and Nerissa can’t help but strive to do the same as she was.
The archiver composes her own melodies with the piano. Whenever Nerissa catches her, she sits beside her whenever she scoots over, or she drags a chair from the other side of the room just so she can hum along just a little bit closer. They don’t match up at times, and it makes her laugh a little, but somehow, Shiori catches up with the tune she wanted. Sometimes, the archiver switches it up on purpose just to confuse her, and she pretends she doesn’t feel the confused look the raven was giving her. Her grin betrays her all the same.
She also liked to read. As an archiver, that was obvious enough, but the way she cherishes every word, the way she laces every letter with intent that meant so much more than it should has Nerissa crumbling whenever she hears her read. In an attempt to take care of her, the archiver read the books aloud instead of her reading it, saving her from the headache of reading for a long period of time. Nerissa worries for her voice, but she can’t find it in herself to refuse such an offer.
She loved everything dearly, and that included them too.
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Shiori cared for them, more so than herself, from what Nerissa noticed. At least she gets a chance to take care of her at times, too. Not that she stops worrying over her despite that. She was attentive, and sometimes, Nerissa wonders if she was just that easy to read, or Shiori was just perceptive like that. Sometimes, she knew of an issue before Nerissa was even aware of it. The raven doesn’t understand how she does it.
She helps Bijou whenever the gem forgets to eat or sleep. She may not be human, but her form now has its needs. Shiori brings her food up to her room, or helps her sleep by staying up beside her. Nerissa catches her sitting up on the couch, a book and Bijou on her lap. It takes her a second to go and get them both a blanket, knowing how cold Shiori can easily get, knowing that it would be more comfortable for Bijou. Sometimes, when she’s lucky, the moment she returns, she is greeted by a sleeping archiver, the half open book forgotten beside her. Nerissa makes sure to insert a piece of paper in between the pages before closing the book.
She cares for the twins, too. Despite being guard dogs, the two were easily scared, and Shiori comforts them through it. “Shh shh, it’s okay. You’re okay.” That was what she always says, and yet it works every time. Nerissa doesn’t know if it’s the way she says it, if it’s the way she holds them as close as she can, or if it’s the way she lets them cling to her, no matter how hard they were tugging at her. It took her a while to notice how different she comforts them: how she lets Fuwawa cling to her, in a way that covers the archiver from danger, still protecting her despite the fear coursing through her veins; how she holds Mococo close, how she wraps her arm around her, pushing her head slightly to hide her into her neck, patting her gently, being careful with her ears.
Shiori was there for her, too. They may banter, but behind all that, there was care. Care in the way that she immediately drops the act when Nerissa gets upset, in the way that she talks about her a lot when she wasn’t there or when she thinks she wasn’t there. There was care in her eyes, and Nerissa doesn’t want to think about it too differently, and yet she can’t ignore it.
Shiori loved dearly, and yet she finds it hard to recognize it.
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Nerissa walks into the living room, and she sees Shiori and Bijou playing a game. The twins were off doing their daily exploring, and the raven wonders about what kind of things they find this time. She overhears them, and she doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, really — she was planning to join them, even — but something stops her from her tracks.
“I know it’s all banter, but if Rissa were to actually flirt with me, I wouldn’t know how to react. I don’t think I’ll be able to process it.”
How they got to that conversation, Nerissa doesn’t know, but she wants to know more. “Wait really? I thought you turn her down just because.”
“I’m not that mean, Biboo.” Shiori laughs, and Nerissa watches, a little stupefied by the soft grin on her face. “I just don’t think I’ll notice it properly, since we have this kind of dynamic. I think I’ll turn her down on reflex, if it were to happen.”
“Do you think about it often?”
“About what?”
“Nerissa flirting with you for real.” That got Shiori quiet. Nerissa silently holds her breath, anticipating what she’ll say.
“I dont… think so?” BIjou laughs at that a little.
”You know, you talk about her a lot. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You two gotta stop flirting with each other when FuwaMoco and I are there.” Shiori giggles, and Nerissa has to fight back a chuckle just to keep her presence unknown. A somewhat harsh exhale leaves her anyway.
“Tell that to Rissa.”
“Oh I’ll tell her. I’ll tell her I’m taking you. You’re mine now.” Bjou jokes, and it makes Shiori laugh even more.
“Oh? Stealing me from Rissa, are we?” Nerissa decides that this was the best time to step in, ignoring the way those words made her heart flutter a little. Just a little. She won’t admit the harsh blush that threatened to cover her face as she heard it.
“So are you saying you’re mine, Shiorin?” She tries to say it so softly, so sincerely, and she almost laughs at the way gears started turning in the archiver’s mind. Shiori blinks once, twice, and looks back onto the game they were playing.
“Well not anymore, I guess. Biboo’s taking me, apparently.” Nerissa whines, and Shiori laughs at the way she reacts to it. Bijou grumbles on the side.
“I just said not to flirt while I’m here!” BIjou whines, focusing on the game on screen. Shiori stays silent, and Nerissa doesn’t know how to read the grin on her face. They play some more, with the raven simply watching over them. There was care in the way they joked around, too, and Nerissa finds that she likes seeing the archiver like this.
She finds that she likes seeing her relaxed enough to not pretend, relaxed enough that the look in her eyes isn’t so frantic, soft enough to be amber, unlike the sharp gold that shines in he face of danger. She finds that she, too, cares for the archiver, though in a way that’s different, in a way that the archiver probably won’t notice. Maybe she’s fine with that. Maybe she can live with her feelings for as long as she does, simply caring for the archiver in her own way.
Shiori was so full of love, and Nerissa can’t help but want to add hers into it.
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Shiori doesn’t know what to think.
“So are you saying you’re mine, Shiorin?”
That line had been on her mind for a long while now. Too long in fact, that she catches herself suddenly thinking about it. She doesn’t even know if she remembers it correctly anymore; she was so sure she definitely changed some things, some details.
Was she smiling when she said it? Or was she smirking? Would that have made a difference? Was her voice really that soft, or did she just hear it that way because of the game audio in her ears?
She thinks, and thinks, and thinks, trying to see what was up with how she was thinking about it so much. Did she reply properly? Was that a genuine flirt? Did she hurt her too badly? Shiori blinks, suddenly aware of her surroundings, surprised at the fact that she spaced out so much that she somehow got to the music room. Maybe playing some tunes would help?
Shiori places her hands over the piano, and she pauses. What should she play? How should she play it? Whatever, she’ll just play and see where it takes her. She doesn’t understand why it turned into such a somber confusion, and she sighs as she slows down. Ah. It affects her this much?
“Shiori?” She turns to see the raven, the source of her turmoil, walk into the room ever so slowly. She doesn’t realize the empty stare she gives her as she slowly walked her way. Shiori flinches at the feeling of something brush her hair behind her ear gently, blinking rapidly. “You okay? I heard the tune you were playing, and I wanted to check in for a little bit.” Of course she recognizes it, of course it was her that hears it.
“Y-yeah, yeah. I’m okay.” She curses the way she stuttered, obvious in the way her brows furrowed for a moment. Nerissa doesn’t let go, keeping her hand close, slightly massaging her temple. Shiori sighs as she leans into her touch. She doesn’t want to think bout it. It’s too much trouble, but she doesn’t want Nerissa hurt. “I do have to ask..” She whispers, and she was shocked at how soft her voice had gotten.
“Hm?” Nerissa brings her other hand up, massaging the other side gently. Shiori relaxes further.
“Did you mean it? Was that… serious?” Shiori watches as Nerissa blinks at her, a little dumbfounded.
“Which one?” A fair question.
“The one you said when Biboo and I are playing. Or any line before that, really.” She watches as Nerissa smiles softly.
“I may joke around, Shiori..” She pauses, kissing the archiver on her forehead as she parted her bangs just for that moment. “But my words hold truth.” Shiori sucks in a breath.
“I don’t.. understand…”
“Would you allow me to say it sincerely?” Nerissa doesn’t want to overwhelm her, and there’s so much she can’t even put to words in that moment, but she wants to tell her. She wants to let her know.
“…okay.”
“I find you beautiful.” She pauses, a lopsided grin on her face. Shiori finds it hard to take her seriously in that moment, giggling at her antics. The way Nerissa’s grin turns into such a soft expression, such a gentle smile, she wouldn’t understand. “The way your eyes shine, even in the dark that makes it so easy to find you. The way your hair just perfectly frames your face, the way it complements you so nicely, the way your smile, or grin, or smirk has that effect on me. I find you very beautiful.” She pauses, a silent question, asking if she can continue.
“…is that all?” Nerissa shakes her head. Shiori nods with a gulp, preparing herself.
“All those other comments about your appearance, but the most important thing I found was that I find you kind.” Shiori stays silent. “I like how you take care of us, so deeply, so differently to take care of our needs. Like how you try to give Biboo a schedule to follow by, or how you reassure her when she has doubts about her power. Like how you comfort the twins that complements their roles in each other, how you let Fuwawa be the bigger person despite her fear because that’s more reassuring to her, how you hug Mococo close because that’s what she’s used to. As for me… I love how you make sure I’m okay whenever we banter.” The change of words doesn’t get lost on Shiori.
“I love how perceptive you are when it comes to us, how careful you are when we’re involved but when you’re alone, you get really clumsy. I love how much you ramble on, changing from topic to topic, no matter how insane that may be,” Nerissa had to laugh at that, and she doesn’t realize the tears that flowed down her cheeks as she continued, “I love how loving you are, in your own way. You are so full of love, Shiori, whether it’d be for us or for anything else. I love..” Nerissa pauses, not really knowing what to say anymore, but couldn’t stop herself from continuing. “You. Just you. The you that you are. And the you that you will be.”
Shiori was so silent, that it worries the raven for a moment. Shiori blinks harshly, as if it helps her process her long winded confession, and Nerissa finds that she likes her like this too. The way she tries her hardest to comprehend her words, the way she hurries so that Nerissa doesn’t have to wait. It makes her chuckle, breaking her out of her stupor.
“What is it?” Her voice was still soft.
“You don’t have to hurry understanding it.”
“But-”
”I sat in jail for over nine thousand years, Shiori. I’d like to think I’m patient enough.” She gives some reprieve with some banter, but it doesn’t seem to be the best words at that moment.
“I already made you wait for that long, I can’t do that all over again.” That startles her, confusion written on her face.
“What..?” She could see the conflict in her eyes, and Nerissa sighs, finding her hands to pull her up and onto her. The archiver yelps as warmth surrounds her in the form of long arms and wings. “You did so much for me already. The least I can do is give you time to think.”
“But that’s..”
“Let me?” Nerissa hides her face by hugging her closer. Shiori’s arms wrap around her.
“When have I ever refused you?”
Shiori was full of love, and Nerissa is glad she receives a part of it. She just hopes she’s able to return it tenfold.