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Scaramouche felt like nothing. We just lost a fight with a god he promised himself to conquer. And the god, in fact was a child.
He really is useless after all.
Maybe his creator was right all along.
He was too weak.
Too weak to even have a heart to call his own.
It was just simply taken away from him. Like it was nothing. Like it didn't meant the whole world to him. Not like it mattered anymore. He was just
Weak,
Useless,
Pathetic.
Although losing didn't really surprise him. He just wasn't prepared for it. He had a hope that he would finally prove that he isn't just a vessel to anyone. That he could control his own life.
Well, turns out he couldn't even do that.
Everyone who ever promised to him that they would be his family, left and betrayed him. Used him like he was nothing but a pretty doll to play with. He knew his purpose.
He was going to be an archon.
A god.
Someone so powerful and strong, that he would control a whole nation under his eyes. That was something he dreamt of, but just because of a little drop of tears, his whole future and dreams crushed beneath him.
His creator, his mother- abandoned him like he was a toy. Left without any explanation. Just threw him away like trash. Ripping his heart out of him.
He cried. He laid on the grass and cried. Thinking why was he so useless to be abandoned by someone he looked up to. Someone he loved.
All the years of mindlessly traveling through the world and scaramouche still didn't knew that one simple question that was flooding his mind.
Why?
Why him? Why is the world so cruel for him?
Did he do something wrong?
Was he never meant to exist?
If the world wanted him to exist, why did it give him such a tragic fate? If his creator wanted him to have a free will and a free life- why it has to be so unfair for him?
Dottore.
The doctor.
He stated it all.
He lied about everything. He made his pathetic life even more miserable.
All the experiments he did on him, the torture, the pain he caused. Poor scara thought that it was supposed to be like this. That it was for his own good.
He blindly followed and admired the one who took his loved ones from him, he followed the one who manipulated and tricked him. The one who is the cause of it all.
It doesn't matter anymore. Not anymore. It's all done. He lost again, he lost his heart. It was taken away from him.
He fell.
Fell and thought- if someone changed, if he did something more, would his whole life look better? If he wasn't weak enough to become a shogun, would his life be actually better?
Maybe that's it.
Maybe it was just meant to be. Maybe his life was supposed to be like this.
He finally reached the ground. Hearing a loud crack and nothing else. And then, nothing. Just empty void. darkness surrounding his mind. And then he saw. He saw her.
Her.
The one who took his heart away from him.
The god of wisdom.
She looks at him, locking his eyes with hers.
He just accepts his fate and waits for her to end him.
Because that's why she's here, right? Looks like the fall didn't do a great job on completely ending his life.
What a shame.
He's so miserable that a simple fall couldn't bring end to his pathetic life.
She's saying something, but he's to busy drifting in his thoughts to listen.
He speaks. He asks her to finish him off.
He was just so tired. Too tired to move. To tired to even fight back anymore. So he just accepts it.
That's what he always wanted, right?
What was the point anyway.
She moves in his direction. Slowly taking steps. He closes his eyes and waits. Waits for anything that's waiting for him.
He Waits. He starts to shake.
The god of wisdom comes closer, and stops in front of him. She looks at him for a moment.
Suddenly, scaramouche feels a comforting and warm embrace.
She was hugging him. Holding him tightly. Not willing to let him go. He wanted to let go and run away, but he was too tired. So he just leans in. She whispers that it's not going to end like this, and that its going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
These few words pierced through his non existent heart like an arrow. Bleeding and arching. How he wanted someone to tell him these few words. He only wanted this simple thing. To comfort him and tell him that's it's going to be okay. His vision started to blur. He was too weak to keep those tears inside. After all these years, he finally broke and let It all out.
Finally.
His tears were running down his cheeks like a waterfall.
The waterfall that finally broke from the rocks that been keeping and covering it for many years.
His loud whines and sobs were filling the void. He holds her Tightly. Not wanting to let go. He needed this. He was so fragile that he broke like a porcelain doll. So soft, and delicate.
But he didn't care.
He finally realized that it doesn't have to end like this.
He realized that maybe not everything is lost.
He found family.