Work Text:
“Kaveh, try this,” Alhaitham said. He had just gotten home from a trip to gods know where, and now here he was shoving a fork and a tin of something in Kavehs face.
Kaveh peered down at the contents of the tin for a moment, trying to determine if it was even edible.
“Wha-,” Kaveh started, before being interrupted.
“It's a type of sardine, imported from Liyue. Completely safe to eat.” Alhaitham explained.
Kaveh stared at him for a moment, trying to read if he was being tricked. However, unlike him, Alhaitham is not an open book. The furthest thing from it, actually. Alhaitham is a book that has had its pages glued shut, with a lock on the covers, and its key has been thrown into the ocean. Along with that, Alhaitham was stubborn. He didn’t like taking no for an answer, and even when he does, it's generally because he has a plan to get what he wants anyway.
Suffice to say, Kaveh was not getting out of this. It was either he surrender now, or risk whatever plan Alhaitham has for if he says no.
Kaveh reluctantly took the fork and the tin, before hesitantly taking a bite of the sardines.
He was prepared for the intense, hot feeling of spice, or, (less likely but still possible,) the biting cold of mint, however, he was instead met with the tasteless mush he had grown accustomed to his entire life.
“How is it?” Alhaitham asked him.
Kaveh swallowed the sardine. “Its fine. The texture is a little weird, but it just seems like normal sardines to me. Nothing special.”
Alhaitham stared at him for a moment before letting out a small hum. “I see,” he said. “Do me a favor and throw that away in the bins outside. I don't want my house smelling like sardines.”
“Okay?” Kaveh asked, confused as to why Alhaitham was acting this way. However, Alhaitham paid him no mind, and left the room, grabbing a book off of the table as he went.
Most people would be surprised or concerned to find that their food had no taste to it, but for Kaveh, it was normal. In fact, he would be concerned and likely overwhelmed if the food had taste. After all, Kaveh was born without taste buds, and as such, had lived his entire life without tasting or smelling anything.
Kaveh doesn’t share this fact often, as it generally causes people to pity him. Either that, or they ask him questions that he doesn't have the answer to. How can people expect him to describe what it's like to be missing two senses, when he’s never had them to begin with? To him, it was normal, and it's definitely not something he wanted to be pitied for. It didn’t affect him negatively, other than him getting food poisoning far more frequently than most other people.
So no, not being able to taste didn’t bother Kaveh much. However, it has caused some rather interesting situations to arise.
When Kaveh had first moved in with Alhaitham, it didn’t take long for Alhaitham to grow concerned over how frequently Kaveh got food poisoning. Eventually, against Kaveh’s will, Alhaitham dragged him to Gandharva Ville to get his stomach checked by Tighnari.
Tighnari quickly ushered Kaveh into a cot, before shooing Alhaitham out of the room.
“This really isn't necessary,” Kaveh stated, feeling guilty for interrupting Tighnari’s already busy schedule. “I swear, it's just a simple case of food poisoning, nothing to be worried about. Alhaitham is just being overdramatic”
Tighnari looked up at him from where he was preparing some of his equipment. “Even if that is the case, I would like to check myself just to be safe. At the very least, I could give you medicine to help if this happens again.”
Kaveh shook his head. “You have far more important things you could be doing right now-”
The forest ranger shot him a sharp look, tutting. “And who are you to decide what should take priority in my day to day life?” He brought the tray of materials over to Kavehs cot, and sat it down on the nightstand.
Kaveh gaped at him, “That isn’t what I meant.”
“Maybe so, but you have to realize, your health is of far more importance to me than a simple patrol, which has already been delegated to another ranger. Right now, my focus is taking care of you.” Tighnari said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Now pull up your shirt, I need to do a few tests.”
Kaveh reluctantly allowed Tighnari to check him over, and much like Kaveh expected, it seemed like it was just a simple case of food poisoning. However, this answer seemed to unsettle Tighnari. His brow was furrowed and his ears were flicking, as he ran through several of the tests a second time, only to receive the same results.
Eventually, he sat back in his chair, and looked at Kaveh, concerned.
“Kaveh, I need you to answer some questions as honestly as possible,” he said, voice stern as he flipped to a separate page in his clipboard.
“Okay?” Kaveh asked nervously.
Tighnari nodded, smiling reassuringly at him, “No need to worry, it's just a few more questions to make sure that I fully understand the situation.”
Kaveh nodded, and Tighnari began his questioning.
“So, Alhaitham says you’ve been vomiting quite often recently. Around once per week or so? Is this correct?” Tighnari asked.
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Kaveh confirmed.
“And you believe that the cause has been individual cases of food poisoning?”
Kaveh nodded, “Yeah.”
Tighnari’s brow furrowed, “Kaveh, you do realize that most people only experience food poisoning a few times per year, correct?”
Kaveh nodded once again, “Yes, but most people can tell if their food is bad or not.”
Tighnari stopped writing and looked at Kaveh, tilting his head. “What do you mean by that?” he questioned.
“Well, most people can use their sense of smell or taste to figure out if their food is bad.” Kaveh explained, looking at Tighnari as if he should understand where this train of thought is going.
Tighnari did not understand. “And?” He prompted.
“Wait, did you not get all of my medical files yet?” Kaveh asked, surprised.
“I’ve received some of them, but I’m still working on getting the rest sent over.” Tighnari responded, ear flicking in irritation at the reminder of the fact. “I take it I’m missing something important to this?”
Kaveh let out a half laugh, half sigh, “Well, to put it simply, I don’t have taste buds. I can't smell or taste my food to make sure it's good.”
Tighnari blinked at him. “And you didn’t think to tell me this earlier?” He asked.
“I thought you already knew!”
Their appointment ended with Tighnari informing a very displeased Alhaitham that Kaveh was correct, and it was in fact just a common case of food poisoning. However, due to patient confidentiality, he did not inform him of exactly why Kaveh has food poisoning so often, to which Kaveh was very grateful.
Another thing caused by Kaveh’s lack of taste buds was the fact that he would eat almost everything, just so long as the spice level was bearable and the texture was fine.
Once Alhaitham and Cyno noticed this, they quickly made it into a competition to try and find a food Kaveh actually disliked. Eventually, it led into them just flat out messing with his food.
Kaveh, of course, didn’t realize this until he noticed Tighnari watching him and snickering as he ate. He was confused at first, but as he began to pay closer attention, he caught sight of Alhaitham pouring a small amount of salt into his wine.
Kaveh internally smirked. Three could play at that game.
As such, he continued to eat and drink his food as normal, watching as Cyno and Alhaitham grew more confused and frustrated as they went.
It didn't help that Tighnari, who pretended not to know, would occasionally ask him questions along the lines of, “Is the wine any good tonight? I’m thinking about getting some,” to which Kaveh would reply along the lines of “It tastes a little different than normal, but it's not bad.”
This continued for a few more of their meetups, until it finally came to a head on the fourth night of these shenanigans.
“Okay, admit it, there is no way you haven’t noticed by now. Even if you didn't notice the taste, I can smell that from over here.” Cyno said, frustrated.
“Noticed what?” Kaveh tried to play innocent, but he knew Cyno would see through his facade.
“You know what.” He stated.
Kaveh glanced at Tighnari, and as soon as they made eye contact, the jig was up. They both started giggling slightly, as Alhaitham and Cyno watched on.
After a minute of their giggling, Alhaitham finally spoke. “So you were aware.”
“Of course I was! I’m not stupid!” Kaveh exclaimed.
“Debatable,” Alhaitham muttered, to which Kaveh glared at him.
“So if you knew, why did you let us keep it up? Some of those combinations were downright disgusting, even if you generally aren’t picky about food.” Cyno asked.
Kaveh looked at Tighnari, who shrugged as if to say this is on you.
“Well, in truth, none of those combinations actually bothered me at all,” Kaveh admitted.
Alhaitham looked at Cyno, clearly expecting him to call out Kaveh for lying. Instead, he was met with a face of bewilderment.
“What?” Cyno asked.
Kaveh laughed a little, “You guys, I don't have taste buds, it’s physically impossible for me to smell or taste anything. Nothing you guys could have done would have bothered me all that much.”
Alhaitham and Cyno blinked at him, realization flashing across their faces.
“Fuck,” Cyno muttered, almost too quiet to hear, and that was all it took for Kaveh and Tighnari to break out into laughter once more.