Archive of Our Own ^beta

And he'd accepted it too. As he felt his energy flicker in his super form, he realized that there was no way he could hold onto this state long enough to live. He couldn't handle the power as well as Sonic did. Why that was, he had no idea, but it didn't matter—as long as he could keep it long enough to save Earth, it would all be okay.

So he held on just long enough. And, the second he was confident that he'd honored his promise to Maria, the power slipped away. It flickered, his heart skipping a beat, and his spines began to darken back into their natural hue.

He wavered, eyelids already growing heavy. Never before in his life had Shadow ever felt so exhausted; he hadn't really thought it was possible, actually. He was the ultimate life form, and "tired" wasn't something he was supposed to feel. But now? There was no doubting it. His eyelids had a thousand pound weights pulling them shut, and gravity a thousand times stronger than that yanked at his legs. Oh, how good it would feel to just submit to that force, to finally allow himself to rest, just this once.

"Shadow?"

A gentle voice wove its way through the haze in Shadow's mind. He blinked once, twice, turning his head carefully to its source. Each movement took every bit of effort he had to keep his gaze focused. Everything was much darker and blurrier than he remembered it being, but he was just able to make out the outline of a glowing golden silhouette in front of him. 

Shadow smiled. Sonic's power was still strong; he would be okay.

And Shadow let go.

"Shadow!"

The gravity of the Earth so far below claimed him. He flew through the atmosphere like a bullet from a gun. The tips of his spines began to glow once more, but flaming red this time instead of a pale yellow; burning pain instead of consuming power. But Shadow barely even felt the pain as he relished in the relief of the power no longer coursing through his veins, tainting all that it touched and scarring him forever. He just wanted to rest now, to rest eternal.

"SHADOW!"

Shadow's eyes flickered open one last time. Far above him, Sonic sped through the air, desperation etched into every inch of his body as he stretched his arm out as far as he could. The other hand clutched a familiar golden ring at his side. A distant part of Shadow wondered why Sonic looked so horrified; they'd saved Earth, hadn't they? Humanity was safe. They'd accomplished their mission. What was there for Sonic to be upset about?

But Sonic was inching closer and closer now. With a start, Shadow realized they had nearly entered the atmosphere at this point, and Sonic's glow was not nearly as vivid as before. If he kept flying after him... what if he fell too? What if he succumbed to gravity too? The Earth could do fine without Shadow (it'd probably do better, actually) but without Sonic? He was known as a hero for a reason, and even Shadow had to admit that now. He needed to stay alive.

Sonic sped closer, and closer, and closer, and he reached out farther, and farther, and farther. He stretched and his fingers just barely brushed the tips of Shadow's own—

And Shadow shoved them away.

Sonic stopped. Shadow fell farther and farther until the other hedgehog was just a speck in the sky, and he found himself smiling to himself. Sonic would live, even if Shadow wouldn't. But that was okay, because he'd done all he needed to. He could die happily now, because he'd finally followed through on that promise he made all those years ago.

Maria... this is what you wanted, right? This is my promise I made to you. 

Shadow let his eyes drift shut just as his back hit a layer of clouds. They scattered around him into a million new pieces. He could hear nothing but the wind blowing against his ears, feel nothing but the chill of the air shatter against the burning quills along his back. He took a breath for the last time.

And then it all went dark.

***

The second time he fell was completely unexpected.

Shadow had been trapped in that damn prism dimension for days now. Not that he could tell time very well, since there was no sun by which to tell it. Hell, there wasn't much of anything—no sky, no land, no water, no people—there were just shards and air and a whole lot of nothingness. He was ready to beat Sonic's ass to show him just what he thought of his immaturity getting them into this mess in the first place.

And when Sonic's ass did indeed arrive, he did! Quite a few times too, might he add. But once he'd finished beating him up, Shadow had stolen that tech the other hedgehog had on his shoes and gloves. If Shadow had that tech, it would be Sonic who was stuck here, not him. Then Shadow could be assured that Sonic wasn't messing anything else up while he traveled through the prism dimensions and fixed the mess he made. It was the perfect solution.

Until it wasn't.

No, no, no—the chorus rang through Shadow's head as he pushed harder and harder against the portal. He had the tech, but it still wasn't letting him through. This couldn't be happening. Because if it was happening, the tech wasn't the reason Sonic could go through the portals, and therefore also wasn't the reason Shadow couldn't. 

Please, no.

Shadow put all his strength into pushing against the portal. His palms burned, the portal rejecting him on a higher level than just physical—Shadow could nearly swear he could hear its voice demanding he get back, demanding he move away—and his shoes sputtered from exuding a far more powerful force than they were used to. But Shadow didn't care. This was his one shot to get out of here, and like hell was he giving up that easy. He pushed, pushed, pushed—

The portal screamed.

It shot out a blast of energy straight into Shadow's core. He cried out, eyes squeezed shut in pain, as he flew back. The pain was insurmountable—more than just a burn or a cut, but instead it felt like his entire being had been split into two, three, or even more. He struggled to gain a grip on his consciousness. He needed to focus, to snap out of his pain- and shock-triggered trance and fly back into action. But the pain was just so strong that he couldn't open his eyes.

And when he slammed back against a giant shard, the impact knocked him out of consciousness. All he saw was black, and all he thought was silence. It was peaceful, and oddly familiar to the many other times in his life when his waking consciousness had been stolen from him.

But he didn't mind for once. He was fine with a stolen consciousness, just so long as it meant he could sleep like this forever.

And ever...

ever...

...

..

.

"SHADOW!"

Shadow flickered in and out of states of awareness, unable to focus or tear open his eyes. His head pounded. He couldn't think, couldn't do much of anything actually other than just let whatever was happening, happen. 

He barely registered anything when warm hands wrapped around his torso, nor did he register when those same hands adjusted to hold him under the back and legs. He moved closer to the warmth emitting from whatever, whoever, was holding him.

Wait, what?

With great effort, Shadow slowly forced his eyes to open. As soon as he did, he was met with tan and blue fur. He narrowed his eyes, struggling to focus, and looked upwards to see Sonic staring straight up with great concentration. 

He was in Sonic's arms. 

Sonic held him tightly, and Shadow doubted he could pull himself out of his grip in that moment even if he wanted to. And as much as he hated to admit it, he really did not want to. He wanted nothing more than for this moment to last forever. He wanted to feel Sonic's protective arms around him for the rest of his days, and he wanted to finally, finally rest, knowing that he was safe if he did so. Because he was when he was with Sonic, wasn't he?

Actually, he was not. The truth hit him nearly as hard as the solid rock Sonic crashed them right into, nearly knocking the consciousness right out of Shadow once again as he flew out of Sonic's arms and landed on a large shard. Sonic fell face first into the same shard a few feet away.

Shadow groaned, pushing himself into a sitting position and pressing a hand against his forehead. Man, what the hell was he thinking? Did Sonic holding him to save his life seriously just cause his thoughts to spiral into borderline romantic fantasies? What the chaos just happened. He must have hit his head harder than he'd thought.

"Woah, I am EXHAUSTED!" Sonic shouted, rising to his feet at the same moment as Shadow did. His irises were barely visible now, the green emeralds hidden behind his enlarged pupils. His limbs shook with excess energy. No doubt this was from the adrenaline coursing through his veins now from that heroic move of his. Shadow wanted to glare, but could barely do anything but groan and wince with how bad his head was throbbing. 

Catching his sight, Sonic grinned. He grabbed a smaller, nearby shard and pulled it closer so he could lean on it. His panic had dissipated, replaced by his usual cockiness and self-assuredness. He leaned back casually.

"You're not dead," Sonic said, smiling, "You're welcome."

Shadow glared harshly and watched an amused glimmer appeared in Sonic's eyes. Did he seriously have to be this prideful? Couldn't he just take his win and go?

"On the bright side," Sonic continued, leaning forward, "I'll get to hold this over you forever. Oh, and, I'll take my tech back."

But Shadow was not going down without a fight. Hell, it didn't matter if the tech had just nearly killed him; getting the tech was a two fold plan anyways. First, it'd allow Shadow to go to other dimensions and second, it'd keep Sonic trapped here. Even if the first one was out of a question, that still left the second. He raised his hands and readied his defense—

Only to realize the tech was already absent from his gloves.

Shadow glanced back up just in time to see Sonic laugh and strike a pose, all four pieces of tech back on his gloves and shoes. His heart jumped in his chest. He ignored the odd feeling in the back of his mind and instead focused on the more pressing issues... such as why he was still here.

"I don't understand!" Shadow exclaimed, "I thought the tech would get me through the gateways. Why didn't it work?" He thought back to what he saw, to all those hours and days trapped in the void with nothing to do but stare through doorways he couldn't cross. "In the lab, you kicked up the prismatic energy when you ran fast and crossed over into the void. I just assumed it was the tech. But it's something else..."

Shadow paused, looking up and staring intently at the other hedgehog. Sonic stared back, a smirk already starting to grow on his lips. Sonic's breath was rapid and shallow, his actions earlier still obviously affecting him in a way he wasn't willing to admit. Sonic, just like Shadow, was tired. But Sonic, unlike Shadow, was the main player in this game to save their reality.

"It's you."

Sonic beamed, eyes lighting up in excitement in that beautifully eccentric way of his. "I guess that makes me kind of special, right?"

It did, but Shadow ignored him. "The only way to fix the reality you shattered is if we..." He paused, closing his eyes dreading completing this cursed sentence that he hated was so true, "...work..."

"Together." "Together!"

Both finished the sentence at the same time, though Sonic was much more ecstatic about this revelation than Shadow was. It was Sonic's fault they were in this situation in the first place, after all, and Shadow hated having to clean up other people's messes. But on the other hand, Shadow, as much as he hated to admit it, knew that Sonic was strong and admirable. He was a hero, and he had been since the day Shadow met him. He could trust him to save their universe. Just like he did all those years ago when they saved Earth together.

But Sonic clearly wasn't getting the dire intensity of this arrangement, and continued in his typical fashion of treating it like a game. 

"Wow! Coming from you, that's..." Sonic pushed himself off of the shard, walking casually over to Shadow and only stopping when there was hardly a foot between them anymore. "Well, not like you at all." Sonic grinned and leaned even closer. Shadow could feel his breath on his cheek, could see each individual speck on his face and each spine on his head. 

"Man, you must really hate having to admit you need me."

His eyes sparkled. Sonic was too close, so close that Shadow was beginning to feel his cheeks warm and his heart pound in his chest. Why this was, he had no idea, but it was too much. Shadow looked away. But he wasn't giving up that easily.

"You need me."

Sonic finally took a step back, and Shadow could breathe again. Sonic shrugged, feigning indifference. "Sure, I'm big enough to admit that," he said, before putting his hands behind his back. He took a step back toward the edge of the shard. "But..."

He jumped. 

"Not as much as you need me." Sonic winked. And then he flew through the air and straight through the gateway, leaving Shadow along once again.

And as Sonic disappeared through the portal, Shadow felt an unwelcomed wave of affection in his chest. He groaned. He must have hit his head harder than he thought.

***

The third and final time Shadow fell was much more pleasant than the previous times. Yet, at the same time, it was ten times more terrifying, and it was something Shadow never would have chosen to go through if he could help it.

Hell, he'd have picked falling to Earth a thousand times over this.

"Hey darling, how'd you sleep?"

Shadow huffed and walked past Rouge without a word. She didn't take any offense, knowing he was always in a bad mood when he first woke up, and if anything, she seemed a little relieved. Shadow understood why; he and Sonic had only brought back all of their friends a few weeks ago. They were still slowly returning back to their old routines, and Shadow had been having a tough time readjusting to living with Rouge again after he'd almost accepted she was gone forever. Acting like his usual grumpy self instead of his slightly over-attached, clingy, grumpy self must have been a relief.

Shadow shoveled a handful of coffee beans into his mouth while Rouge watched quietly, evidently choosing not to comment on his strange choice of breakfast like she did every other morning. Shadow was thankful for that; he'd had a rough night, and he was not ready for their typical sibling banter yet. Not this early, anyways. But Rouge had other plans than simple teasing. She stirred her coffee absentmindedly with her spoon, careful not to clink it on the side or make any awful screeching noises. She continued doing this, gaze settled on Shadow and letting her silence do all the talking.

Once the staring became too much to bear, Shadow clenched his jaw. "What do you want?" he asked, aware he was giving her an invitation and already regretting it the second she opened her mouth. 

"So, when you going to tell him?"

"I have no idea who you're talking about," Shadow muttered, scooping up more coffee beans. If he was going to deal with Rouge's antics today, he was going to need more than just one bag of these. He made a mental note to go pick up some more as Rouge continued.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the guy you've asked to race three times this week already."

"Three times isn't a lot."

"It's Tuesday, Shadow."

"And?"

Rouge rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Hun. We all see the way you look at him when he's around. Most people probably don't notice it since you're so stunted with your emotions, but I'm fluent in speaking Shadow and I can see how your eyes light up when he enters a room. Not to mention all those hugs he's been giving you lately—it's a lot, even for him, and you've never once shoved him away."

"You're reading into things too much," Shadow said, knowing very well that his argument was useless. He usually loved having Rouge as a sister, but at these moments, he almost wished he'd never met her. Why didn't she know when to mind her own business? If he wanted to hang out with Sonic every day of the week, that was his business. If he wanted Sonic to singlehandedly heal his touch-starved ass, that was also his business. Not Rouge's. 

And definitely not Sonic's.

"I am not, and you know it," Rouge barked out a laugh. She took a sip of her coffee, only to hum disapprovingly and add a few more cubes of sugar. "It's obvious you like him, Shadow. You're down bad. Why not tell him? It's Sonic. It's not like there's much to lose."

Except there was. There was so much that Shadow could lose. Namely, Sonic himself. Oh, and his dignity too. Shadow wasn't exactly known for being someone who would willingly talk about their emotions, and he was happy with that reputation. It kept him isolated and safe, close and guarded. He wasn't sure he was ready to give that up to tell Sonic the truth, not when all he'd probably get in return was Sonic laughing in his face and taking his words as a joke. 

Worse, he wouldn't be able to blame him for that. It sounded like a bad joke: "Hey, you know that half alien lab experiment who tried to kill you a few times and even almost ended the world? Yeah, he has a crush on you now." 

Like hell was Shadow going to subject himself to that shame and embarrassment. 

"Shadow? Earth to Shadow, hey!" Rouge snapped her fingers twice, jolting Shadow out of his own head. She stared at him with a tight frown on her lips. "You're doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"The thing where you get lost in your own thoughts, imagine the worst scenario, and probably start thinking about how you're an 'unlovable monster' or whatever." She held up her fingers to create air quotes as she said that, and looked at Shadow with an expression that somehow mixed boredom with concern. "You're not, by the way. And I have no doubt that Sonic feels the same way about you that you feel about him."

Shadow kept his arms folded tightly across his chest, staring off into the distance and avidly avoiding Rouge's gaze. He grunted instead of replying.

"Shadow."

Shadow slowly trailed his gaze down his own arm to see Sonic's fingers still wrapped around his wrist. "I..."

Sonic caught his gaze and looked down too. Smiling slyly, he slowly moved his hand down to fit it into Shadow's own. When Shadow held his hand back, Sonic beamed with pure joy.

"Okay good you just don't know what to say," Sonic chuckled, "I mean, not that that's good, but I was almost worried I'd read this wrong but obviously not since," —he gestured to their hands— "Yeah! So uh, it's okay if you don't know what to say. I don't really know what to say either I'm just kinda rambling here. But this is good, right?"

Shadow nodded, slowly. "Yes, I think so." He nearly sighed in relief now that his voice was working again.

Sonic stepped closer, still holding Shadow's hand tightly. He gestured with his free hand for a while as he spoke, before eventually setting it on top of Shadow's hand, fully trapping it between both of his.

"So... if you like me and I like you, maybe we could be together, or something, maybe?"

The world slowed to a stop.

The birds surrounding them stopped singing, the gentle noises of the village ceased. The entire world blurred. Shadow could see nothing but Sonic, standing in front of him, telling him that he cared for him, telling him that he wanted something more than their friendship-coded rivalry that had been going on the entire time they'd known each other. Never in his wildest dreams did Shadow expect this to happen in reality... yet here it was, and slowly, that realization sunk into his being. The numbness faded into pure joy as Shadow allowed a small smile to creep onto his face.

"Yes," he said, "I'd... I'd like to try that, I think."

And just like that, Sonic's nerves disappeared. He whooped, letting go of Shadow's hand to run circles around him as he celebrated. Before Shadow could react, Sonic was done and screeched to a stop in front of him. He cupped Shadow's face and brought it close to his, and then froze, his eyes springing back open.

"Oh, sorry—Can I...?"

Shadow closed the gap and pressed his lips to Sonic's. Sonic kissed back, no longer hesitant about any of this. Shadow's heart jumped as one hand left his cheek and found its way to grip the fur at his chest, and he reached over to wrap his own arms around Sonic's neck.

Eventually Sonic pulled away, as regretful as he seemed about it. Shadow let him, leaving his own eyes closed as he relished in the recent memory. He didn't want this moment to ever end.

"Woah," Sonic breathed, a smile in his voice, "Man, now I can finally tell you how pretty I think you are."

Shadow immediately opened his eyes. Sonic's eyes gleamed with mischievous affection, seemingly realizing just how much compliments could affect him. Shadow opened his mouth to object, but Sonic tutted and shook his head.

"Nope. As my boyfriend you can't argue with me on this. You've got a pretty face to look at. Can't argue!"

"The same goes to you," Shadow retorted, "You can't object if I said the same thing about you, because it's true."

Both new to this new realm of their relationship, Shadow (and Sonic too, he guessed) found refuge in returning to something similar to their usual banter. They found the chance for a competition and jumped on it, with Sonic immediately countering that he was more so. It was a familiar rhythm they could fall back on... yet something was different this time, a change for the better.

"You know," Sonic said after a brief moment of consideration, "I didn't think you'd do it again."

Shadow's brows furrowed. "Do what again?"

"Fall for me again," Sonic grinned, "But I gotta say, this time was definitely my favorite. Stick the falling to the metaphorical type, 'kay?"

Shadow punched Sonic in the arm. Sonic caught him as he did and flipped him over, both of them falling easily back into their usual tussle. But this fight didn't end with either of them bloody and refusing to admit defeat. This one ended with Shadow shoving Sonic on the ground and pinning him to the ground, as Sonic reached up to pull his head down for yet another kiss.

Yes, this was definitely a change for the better.