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Seungmin sucks at driving.
He sucks at driving, and he sucks at being alone with his own thoughts. As he moves through national expressways, highways and eventually provincial roads, he keeps thinking about his vacation plans, or rather how much he’s not in the mood for any kind of trip.
He doesn’t know why he’s doing it to himself. Maybe only because Felix told him it would be a good idea to leave Seoul for some time. Maybe three weeks ago he genuinely thought it could be beneficial to him.
But today the only thing he wants is to climb under the covers of his bed which is now so far away from him. He doesn’t want to sleep in a place he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by foreign landscapes and foreign people speaking a foreign dialect. He doesn’t want to be here by himself and stick out like a sore thumb.
Yesterday he was supposed to arrive at a beach resort in Jeju with his girlfriend, but that plan was made over a year ago. Now his ex-girlfriend is enjoying that trip with her new boyfriend, and Seungmin is—well—here.
It’s not like the area looks bad. He wanted some calm place, and it looks like he found himself one. As he drives, he’s surrounded by green hills and trees on both sides of the road, and as he nears his destination, he passes less and less people and cars. But he knows it will soon change when he arrives at the guesthouse and will have to introduce himself to the owner.
If that guesthouse even exists.
It had some pictures but no reviews, stating it opened recently. Maybe Seungmin will find himself regretting his stupid idea even more once he knocks at the door and is met with nobody or once he gets his keys and opens the door to a room that looks like a disaster. Maybe the owner has some evil chicken that will chase after and peck him the moment he steps out of the car. Who knows what he can expect from a village in the middle of nowhere.
If Felix could hear his thoughts, he would for sure tell Seungmin that he’s being silly, and that he’ll surely change his mind once he’s there. He spent so much time finding local attractions that Seungmin could visit—a botanical garden and a water park in a nearby city, various hiking trails, teahouses and restaurants with impeccable reviews. He instructed Seungmin to send him pictures every day and report every interesting finding.
Seungmin isn’t really sure what he’s supposed to find there.
He knows that Felix is doing everything in his might to make him feel less lonely, to get him out of the slump he’s been in, and he would love for it to work, but it’s hard to be hopeful. He used to have plans and hopes for the future, but they all got stomped on, spit on and thrown into trash. Now, all that’s left in him are regrets.
He tries to bring his thoughts back to something else, like the pretty weather and how the sun makes the grass look greener. He definitely isn’t thinking about the clear blue waters of the beaches in Jeju.
He arrives at the guesthouse sooner than he thought he would, or maybe he got so lost in thought by the end of his journey that he didn’t really notice the passage of time. Either way, only after he parks his car he realises just how tired he is, how sore his body feels from being in the same position for hours. His legs feel numb, and he almost trips while trying to get out of the car.
Maybe he should exercise more.
He doesn’t even manage to collect himself before he’s being greeted by a woman coming out of the house.
“There you are.”
Seungmin isn’t sure if he was supposed to hear that quietly spoken sentence. He isn’t used to that level of familiarity coming from strangers. It makes his heart pang in a way he can’t pinpoint—is he happy to be treated like he belongs here, like he’s awaited? Or does it only deepen his feeling of inadequacy, knowing that he only gets such treatment because he’s a guest?
He turns around to bow to the woman—the owner, he can only assume. Her name—Lee Eunsook—was given on the website he booked his stay through.
She’s really pretty. She looks more than twice Seungmin’s age, but she emanates youth. It must be her smile, Seungmin thinks. It illuminates her entire face, makes her look gentle and kind.
She makes Seungmin feel at ease as she walks him around the guest house, showing him his room and communal spaces. She shows him where he can find towels, food, a hairdryer, books to read. She appears a bit chaotic but in a strangely calm way. Maybe it’s inexperience or stress that makes her so lost in her explanations, but she’s trying to make up for it by assuring Seungmin that he can go to her whenever he needs something, at any time.
It makes her so motherly. As if Seungmin would ever go and bother her at an hour that could be inconvenient. But maybe that’s what she used to tell her children where they were small. Maybe it’s a habit. Seungmin’s absolutely sure she has children, probably multiple. She just acts like a mother.
Then Mrs. Lee takes him back outside to show him her garden. She has a lot of plants and some fruits which she says Seungmin can also eat.
“Just go and take whatever you want,” she tells him. “And if you’re not sure about what’s ripe and what isn’t, you can always ask me, I’ll be happy to help.”
A bit farther away, behind the house, there’s a grilling area with wooden benches and even farther away a little shed with what Seungmin assumes must be gardening equipment.
“We have a tent too, if you’d want to sleep outside,” Mrs. Lee adds. “I know many people come here wanting to reconnect with nature.”
They encircle the house. On the other side there are more flowers and blooming bushes and a cat basking in the sun. There’s a small table with a few chairs, as well as a beautiful wide swing.
When they make a full circle and are standing once again by the front door, Mrs. Lee smiles at Seungmin. “I hope you enjoy your stay here.”
“I’m sure I will.” Seungmin smiles back.
“And if you’d need any help exploring the area, you can ask my son. He should be here later in the afternoon, so he will show you around.”
Seungmin’s smile falters. He hoped that he would be surrounded by older people here, people who wouldn’t bother him, so that he could sit around or go on walks by himself and wallow in his sadness. How old could Mrs. Lee’s son be? Surely not much older than Seungmin… Even worse—what if he’s some grumpy teenager, annoyed that he will have to walk Seungmin around the area like a dog?
“Dinner should be ready in an hour,” Mrs. Lee continues, oblivious. “Please feel free to use our common spaces if you want!”
Seungmin doesn’t want to do that. He thanks Mrs. Lee and goes upstairs to lock himself in his room. He’s tired—he’s so, so tired, and the only thing he wants to do is to sleep. A year ago, he wouldn’t have had any issue with being social, but now he finds it draining. For a moment, as Mrs. Lee was showing him around the house and the garden, he felt content. Happy almost. But now the idea of having to interact with yet another person looms over him like a heavy, dark cloud, not letting him rest.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. He will go on a lone walk through one of the hiking trails Felix has chosen for him. The mountains in the area aren’t very high, so climbing one seems like something achievable even with Seungmin’s lack of stamina and general lack of physical activity in the last few years. After his back injury forced him to stop playing baseball, he went through extensive rehab and then never came back to doing any sort of sports. He could have. There are things he definitely could have picked up, even as simple as swimming or jogging. Maybe if he had done any of it, Sooyun wouldn’t have broken up with him.
Seungmin never thought his body looked bad, but Sooyun’s new boyfriend is definitely better built than him. He often posts pictures from his gym workouts, annoyingly flexing his muscles, self-satisfied smile ever present on his stupid face. And yes, Seungmin looks up his socials frequently because he’s apparently a masochist. He knows it isn’t doing him any good, but he can’t stop himself from reaching for his phone every now and then and opening Instagram just to scroll through an endless mass of pictures, wondering what that guy has that Seungmin doesn’t.
Even now, instead of attempting to distract himself in some way, he unlocks his phone just to search for one of the many gym pictures that guy posted. He stares at it for a long time and then attempts to flex his bicep the same way. And of course he looks pathetic. Who is he even kidding? There is barely any muscle there. Why would Sooyun find it attractive?
Seungmin spends the rest of the hour unpacking and sulking, and only when he comes downstairs for dinner, his thoughts are finally directed somewhere else. The food smells amazing, and the table is full of it. Seungmin waits for other guests to come, but no one arrives. When he asks, Mrs. Lee tells him that for now he’s the only guest.
“We opened not a long time ago,” she explains. “Maybe I don’t know how to advertise this place that well.”
Seungmin suddenly feels sorry about his earlier doubts. Of course he had no idea what would await him here, but there was no reason for him to think that his experience would be horrible.
Seungmin tries to think of something nice or helpful to say, when a car can be heard outside. It stops as it reaches the house, and Mrs. Lee says, “That’s my son,” with a smile that Seungmin can only describe as prideful. She rises from her chair and walks up to the entrance door to greet him.
Seungmin stands up too but doesn’t follow her; he just stands by the table somewhat awkwardly, not knowing how to act in this situation.
“Ah, my second guest arrived just in time for dinner.”
“Mum…”
Seungmin wonders whether he should go there afterall and greet the guy, but right in that moment he rounds the corner and appears in front of Seungmin.
And god, he must be the most beautiful man Seungmin’s even seen.
Seungmin is used to being around good looking people. Really. He’s living with Felix, after all. And yet the sight in front of him makes him unable to utter a single word. He bows politely and then stares some more, feeling like an absolute fool.
He’s only being shaken off of his trance when the man introduces himself. Lee Minho. Seungmin follows by saying his own name, then stumbles backwards, almost knocking over the chair, and finally sits down. His cheeks are burning, and the fact that the Lees are both now sitting opposite of him isn’t making him feel any less nervous or stupid.
It’s clear that they have a very good relationship. They laugh and joke and try to engage Seungmin in the conversation, even though Seungmin would rather hide under the table than reveal too much about himself. He learns quite a lot about Minho, though, mostly through the words of his mother. Minho is two years older than him. He lives in Seoul and is a manager at a pet store. He has three cats that are currently being taken care of by Mrs. Lee. He is great with all animals, actually. He is independent and is known as the best handyman of the neighbourhood. He is an amazing cook, he supports charities and likes to dance in his freetime.
If Seungmin was a girl, he probably would’ve thought that Mrs. Lee is trying to set the two of them up.
Minho looks faintly amused as his mum praises his virtues. But he tries to minimise everything, turn it all into a joke, redirect the conversation. Thankfully, most of the time he avoids Seungmin’s gaze.
When the dinner is over, Minho puts all the leftovers away and puts all the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Seungmin tries to help, but Minho dismisses him with a gentle swat of a hand. Oh well.
So, he sits at the table with Mrs. Lee, chatting about the weather. He honestly forgot about what she said earlier, about her son showing him around, so when Minho comes back, looks at Seungmin and asks “Ready to go?” his heart drops to his stomach.
He nods faintly and lazily follows Minho outside, even though he feels the opposite of calm. What are they supposed to talk about, just the two of them? Seungmin has already learned so much about Minho—will Minho expect him to share the story of his life as well?
Minho clicks the door of the car open, and Seungmin already feels awkward as hell as he gets into the passenger’s seat. What is he doing here? It’s not what he expected to do on his vacation, and he feels like an intruder. He knows that it would be rude to refuse the ride, but there must be some way to make it as short as possible, right?
“Look, you don’t have to show me a lot. You’re probably tired,” Seungmin says diplomatically.
“I like driving,” Minho says and takes Seungmin on the longest car trip ever.
*
Seungmin learns that Minho doesn’t talk a lot. He plays music in his car and sings from time to time. He doesn’t ask whether Seungmin likes the songs. He only asks whether the temperature in the car is okay. Then he talks about the things they pass. Here’s the shop. Here’s the restaurant. Here’s the river. And so on and so on.
After some time Seungmin completely loses track of where they are, making the trip kind of defeat its purpose. It’s slowly getting dark, and they are still driving, and Minho still narrates the ride, still talks about places they are passing, even when Seungmin can barely make out the shapes of them in the darkness.
The only good thing about it being dark is that Seungmin now has more courage to look at Minho as he talks. His profile is exceptionally beautiful. He isn’t exactly muscular, but it’s clear that he’s fit and strong. He’s quite a sight to see.
But suddenly, Seungmin’s train of thought takes a bitter turn. Why does the world have to keep reminding Seungmin just how worthless he is? Normally, he isn’t very jealous, but right now it feels like too much. He just sat through an hour of Mrs. Lee singing praises about her son, and is now stuck with him in one car for who knows how long. He lives with Felix—someone who everyone falls in love with the moment they see him. And his girlfriend—his girlfriend whom he was with for more than five years—ditched him for someone objectively better looking. Maybe he’s better than Seungmin in every other sense, too.
“What are you thinking about?” Minho asks, shaking Seungmin out of his thoughts.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at me for like, the last five minutes.” Minho laughs. “I think you zoned out?”
“I did. I’m sorry,” Seungmin admits ashamedly.
“No problem. You know, many people come to secluded places when something troubles them. I hope you find your peace here.”
“I haven’t felt very secluded so far,” Seungmin says before he thinks, but Minho only laughs.
“Well, we can leave you be.”
Seungmin—surprisingly—thinks that maybe it would be bad for him to isolate himself after all. Every time he’s alone with his thoughts, they drift off to the life he used to have or trying to find out what’s wrong with him, why he’s so unloveable.
He doesn’t have enough courage to tell Minho that he doesn’t mind taking part in whatever he or his mum have planned for him. He only thanks him dryly once they arrive back at the guesthouse and goes straight back to his room.
*
It turns out that the Lees do not leave Seungmin be.
Mrs. Lee asks Seungmin during breakfast what he’s planning to do today. Seungmin honestly hasn't thought about it, so he says the first thing he can think of—that he’s going to go to the botanical garden. It’s around half an hour’s drive distance from here, and it will finally give him some opportunity to be by himself. Or so he thought.
“Sounds great.” Mrs. Lee nods. “The garden is a local attraction, and rightfully so. It’s really beautiful, and I like going there myself too.”
“That’s good—”
“There’s also a really nice restaurant nearby, Minho will show you.”
Seungmin looks up at Minho, then at Mrs. Lee, then back at Minho.
“If you want, of course,” Minho adds with a somewhat mischievous smile.
“Uhm, sure.”
*
An hour later Seungmin finds himself buying tickets to the botanical garden. As he passes the gate, Minho follows closely behind.
“Do you like plants, Seungmin?”
Seungmin turns around, wondering why Minho is asking him that. Is it his attempt at small talk?
“I don’t know,” Seungmin answers. “Not really.”
“Then why are we here?”
“Why are you here?” Seungmin snaps, not able to help himself.
“Why are you here?” Minho parrots, albeit much less angrily.
“This is so immature,” Seungmin mutters under his breath, but Minho only smiles.
“I like plants. Maybe because my mum likes them so much and showed me how to take care of them. Do you have anything that you care for?”
Anger boils under Seungmin’s skin. Why is Minho asking him these annoying questions? He used to. He used to have Sooyun, and they had a dog—a beautiful, lovely golden retriever Sunja. Seungmin let her take him after they broke up. He doesn’t want Minho to remind him of it.
He frowns and shakes his head.
“Oh. So that’s why you’re so grumpy.”
“I’m not grumpy.”
“I think you are. Anyway, come, I’ll show you my favourite part.”
*
Minho’s favourite part is a pond.
“It has ducks,” Minho says, as if Seungmin isn’t seeing them with his own eyes right now. A few fluffy shapes here and there, swimming or resting and occasionally diving under water, so that only their butts stick out in the air.
“They’re cute, aren’t they?”
“Mhm.”
They are both sitting on the grass, and Seungmin is trying his hardest to enjoy the view, to enjoy the weather, to enjoy anything . It isn’t working. He feels like shit; he feels like he’s about to cry, and he’s just about to excuse himself to the bathroom on the other end of the garden, when Minho breaks the silence.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”
For some reason, that makes Seungmin want to cry even more. Here he is—with a person who is his chauffeur and tourist guide in one, who is doing it voluntarily, and Seungmin’s being ungrateful and rude towards them. It’s a new low for him.
“You didn’t upset me. I was already upset,” he says, trying his hardest to keep himself together. For now, he’s succeeding. “Look, I’m—I’m a mess. And you were right. I came here because there are some things on my mind that I need to deal with. I know I’m not the best, and I will leave if you think that it would be better this way. I really didn’t come here just to annoy you.”
“We don’t want you to leave.”
“I will still pay the full price—”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“What do you mean?” Seungmin asks. He doesn’t know if he’s exasperated or dejected or just confused.
“We really care about our guests. Maybe it’s a bit unorthodox, but we want to make them feel at home here,” Minho says, looking at the pond. “My mum… Well, she called me yesterday. She said that you came here alone. That you seemed sad and that you locked yourself in your room the moment you came here. She thought that maybe some company would make you happy.”
“And I’m so ungrateful,” Seungmin says in a broken voice, his eyes now fully wet.
“Aish, it’s not like that,” Minho scolds him. “You’re our guest. We should make you feel comfortable. And we clearly didn’t, and I’m sorry about that.”
“No.” Seungmin shakes his head vehemently. “Your mum is so nice, she didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You can be nice and do things that aren’t right.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Seungmin repeats, remembering her kind eyes, her kind smile. “Please don’t tell her,” he begs, now on the verge of panic.
“Shh,” Minho tries to soothe him. “I won’t tell her.” He places a hand on Seungmin’s back and rubs comforting circles, and Seungmin needs to suppress the urge to cuddle into him like a small, scared animal. He’s trying not to think about how weird it is that he’s being comforted by a stranger as he’s having a breakdown at a very public place, in bright daylight. He tries not to think about how foreign it feels to be touched like this—with care.
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do things for me. I appreciate it, but—”
“I told you I like plants. And yesterday I told you I like driving. Didn’t I?”
“You did.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Seungmin locks eyes with Minho. “I… am the problem?”
Minho laughs. It’s a bright, honest, beautiful laugh. “Come on. I’ll show you some pretty flowers.”
In the end, Seungmin and Minho spend a lot of time in the botanical garden. Seungmin’s pretty sure that Minho shows him everything that’s there to see. Occasionally, he shares some fun facts about the plants they pass on their way, but generally they stay away from any serious subjects.
They have dinner at the place Mrs. Lee recommended, and then they go back home. Seungmin suppresses the urge to disappear into his room right away. Instead he chooses one of the books from the bookcase (something that looks the least like it would have any romantic plot) and goes outside. He chooses the swing to sit on and stays there until evening.
Nobody tries to find him. Nobody wants anything from him.
Only Minho passes him once on his way towards the back of the house and sends him a small smile.
*
Seungmin gets pretty invested in the plot of the book he’s chosen, so he decides to spend the next morning reading outside as well. He only goes inside the house to make himself coffee, and that’s when he gets approached by Minho.
“How’s your morning? Doing good?”
“Yes. I’m reading.”
“Any plans for today?”
The question surprises Seungmin. He thought that Minho was going to drop the whole “let me be your company” thing. Did he misunderstand?
Minho must have noticed Seungmin’s hesitation, because he clarifies, “I’m just curious.”
“Well, I wanted to go to the water park.”
“Nice. Don’t drown!”
Minho turns around and is about to leave, when Seungmin calls his name. He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, but he asks, “Do you wanna come with me?”
If Minho is surprised by the sudden invitation, he’s great at hiding it. “Sure,” he simply says, shrugging his shoulders.
*
The water park is more like a glorified pool, honestly. But at least it has quite a lot of space to swim.
There’s only one thing Seungmin hasn’t thought through—the fact that being at a pool with Minho meant that they would be half-naked.
And Seungmin doesn’t know if he’s ready to face a wave of embarrassment that will surely hit him when he realises just how much better than him Minho looks without a shirt on. Call him self-absorbed, but he can’t stop dreading it. Minho will look at Seungmin’s scrawny, feeble body, and he will laugh. Or he will turn his head away in disgust. It’s stupid to think like that, Seungmin knows, but he just can’t help it.
Even as he already walks towards the pool in his swimming trunks, he needs to suppress the urge to cover his chest with his hands. Ah, coming here was such a stupid idea.
He almost doesn’t recognise Minho, who’s sitting at the edge of the pool with his legs in the water, wearing a denim bucket hat and an inflatable swimming ring around his waist.
“Don’t look at me like that, I don’t know how to swim.”
Seungmin opens his mouth in surprise. Minho doesn’t look like someone who doesn’t know how to swim. He looks like someone perfectly capable of doing absolutely anything.
“Oh, you could have told me! We could have gone somewhere else.”
“It’s nice here. I can sit and watch you as you swim. Judge your stamina.”
Seungmin laughs, a bit bitterly. “There’s nothing to see there, trust me.”
“I beg to differ,” Minho says, sending Seungmin a challenging gaze.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna leave?”
“Yes. Go swim.”
Seungmin leaves Minho to do a few laps, but quickly starts to feel bad that Minho is sitting there all by himself, with zero entertainment.
He swims back to Minho, gets out of the water and sits down next to him. “Come on, you must be sooo bored.”
“I’m not. It’s nice watching you.”
“As if.”
“You have nice arms.”
Seungmin snorts with laughter. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“That’s not how you respond to compliments. You should say ‘thank you Minho’.”
“Well, thank you Minho, but still, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Don’t you think I look nice?”
“You do look nice, actually,” Seungmin says. An understatement.
“What do you like the most?”
“Excuse me?”
“What part of me is the prettiest?” Minho asks, striking a pose and batting his eyelashes.
“Uhm, your face is very pretty,” Seungmin says, against his better judgement.
“See? You can think that my face is pretty, but I can’t think that your arms are nice?”
Seungmin rolls his eyes. “It’s different! Obviously you’re pretty, don’t you own any mirrors?”
“Could say the same thing about you!”
“Whatever. I’m not gonna argue with you.”
“Exactly. You’re not gonna win.”
Seungmin however manages to persuade Minho to go to a different section of the pool—one where the water is a bit more shallow. Minho can at least stand there, though he still grabs Seungmin’s hand as support whenever they move away from the pool edges.
Cute.
Seungmin suggests that he could try to teach Minho how to swim, but Minho declines the offer. Instead, they spend the rest of their time at the pool walking back and forth, hand in hand, occasionally splashing each other with water.
*
“What is our guest doing today?” Minho asks Seungmin as they’re cleaning after breakfast the next day.
“How about… a hike?”
“Are you asking me for an opinion?”
“Duh. Yesterday you didn’t even tell me that you don’t know how to swim.”
“Do you think I don’t know how to hike?” Minho asks.
“I don’t know, man. Maybe you don’t.”
Minho scoffs. “Have you seen these thighs?” he asks incredulously, presenting one of his legs to Seungmin.
Seungmin did, in fact, see these thighs. He’s been trying not to drool over them for the last few days, actually.
“Well,” he coughs. “So are you up for that hike?”
*
Minho is up for that hike. And Seungmin regrets his choice of activity about an hour in.
“Minho, I’m dying,” he pants.
“Your idea, not mine.”
Well, it’s not like Minho is wrong. He is, however, thankfully merciful and from that point on they take more breaks as they go.
On one of those breaks, Seungmin admits just how much he regrets being so out of shape and not doing anything to change it.
“Well, I have a friend in Seoul who’s a personal trainer. He’s ruthless. I can get you some discount.” Minho winks.
“He’s ruthless? Is that supposed to make me wanna go to him?”
“Well, yeah. You seem like someone who’d enjoy harsh treatment.”
Seungmin opens his mouth in surprise.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” Minho adds.
“I guess you aren’t.”
“See. Three days, and I know you through and through.”
Seungmin, of course, knows that it isn’t true, but in that moment he almost feels as if it is. Talking to Minho and doing things with him has become so indescribably easy. The more time they spend together, the less Seungmin thinks about Sooyun. Sometimes, he even forgets about just how much he hates himself.
Minho doesn’t make him feel bad about being out of breath and needing frequent breaks as they walk. He teases him, but it’s lighthearted. Maybe he’s even doing it just to see Seungmin smile.
*
The next day is… weird. Bad.
Seungmin knows that it’s his fault. He couldn’t resist the urge to check Sooyun’s Instagram, and of course he was immediately flooded with pictures of her and her boyfriend, embracing and kissing each other, taking pictures at the beaches and at restaurants, looking incredibly happy.
Seungmin wishes he knew how to be happy, too.
It could’ve been him—there, with her. Maybe it would’ve hurt less if Sooyun fell out of love with Seungmin, told him that and then moved on with her life. But she and her current boyfriend fell in love while Sooyun and Seungmin were still together, were still sharing a life. And the worst thing is that Seungmin was in no way prepared for this.
Things were fine. They didn’t argue. They were going on dates, they were making plans, they were affectionate with each other. And yet, what Seungmin had to offer wasn’t enough.
During breakfast, Minho definitely notices that something is wrong. He looks at Seungmin strangely and doesn’t talk much.
Maybe that’s for the better.
When the meal is over, Seungmin goes outside with his book and sits on the swing which has now become his favourite spot. But nothing about it feels good. His back hurts and he can’t focus on reading. The weather feels too hot, and he’s just mad and grumpy, and he doesn’t know how to not think about what he’d lost the day Sooyun broke up with him.
Despite being uncomfortable, he doesn’t leave. He stares at the grass, at the flowers and at the white-orange cat basking in the sun. At some point, the cat gets up and starts walking towards the house, then stops to look at Seungmin. They share a look, and then the cat changes its mind and approaches him instead. Seungmin briefly wonders whether he’s about to get attacked, but the cat looks too gentle to do it. Too old. It walks slowly and gracefully, jumps up the swing and settles in Seungmin’s lap.
Seungmin’s so distracted by all of it that he doesn’t even realise Minho’s watching him now, too.
“Bad day, huh?” Minho asks as he comes closer to sit next to Seungmin.
Seungmin grunts quietly, bringing his hand up to pet the cat.
“Soonie is very good at guessing people’s moods. He came to cheer you up. What a lovely boy.”
Seungmin has no idea if Minho’s bluffing, but it’s nice to think that there’s this tiny creature who knows how he feels and cares enough to try to make him feel better. But then, isn’t Minho just the same?
Seungmin looks at Minho then, takes in his serene expression as he observes Soonie licking Seungmin’s finger.
“I broke up with someone,” Seungmin blurts out. For some reason, he has a thought that using the words my girlfriend wouldn’t feel right.
Minho’s eyes widen for a brief, almost unnoticeable moment before his expression goes back to normal. Or maybe Seungmin just imagined it. Is it really that surprising that he used to be in a relationship?
“I’m sorry. Was it… now? Over the phone?”
“No,” Seungmin laughs bitterly, looking down. “It was eleven months ago.”
“Woah. A year,” Minho mutters, maybe more to himself than to Seungmin.
“Not yet,” Seungmin corrects, hating that he's tearing up.
Minho looks at him carefully. “Do you think it will get better when a full year passes?”
Seungmin gives himself a moment to think about it, to really think about it. He’s still feeling like his life is over, in a way. Will it be any different in a month? “No,” he answers.
Actually, when an entire year passes, things will be even worse. Right now, Seungmin feels like he has the right to grieve, but after more than a year it will be just pathetic. People will look at him with pity, will insist that he has to move on. Maybe Felix will stop trying to help him and finally ditch him, realising that Seungmin is no fun and that he will likely never change.
“Seungmin,” Minho says, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“What?” he answers quite rudely. His tone is harsh, and he doesn’t intend it, but he just can’t stop being angry.
“Do you wanna go to the market tomorrow?”
Seungmin whips his head around, surprised by the change of the subject. Minho gazes at him completely neutrally, and Seungmin wonders whether that impression is schooled or if it’s something that comes to him naturally. Or maybe he simply finds Seungmin’s personal struggles boring as hell. Well… whatever it is, at least he isn’t giving Seungmin a sorry look.
“Yeah, why not.”
Minho sends him a satisfied smile. “Wake up early.”
*
Seungmin didn’t think that waking up early meant he was supposed to wake up at 6 am. He’s on vacation, for fucks sake. But no, his sleep is interrupted by something, someone, banging at his door. He recognises Minho shouting “ya!” repeatedly, like a siren, until Seungmin finally shouts back that he’s awake.
Reluctantly, he puts on his glasses and sits up. The urge to stay in bed is strong, but at this point he expects that if he doesn’t get up soon, Minho will barge through his door and drag him out of bed by his feet. His whole body feels so, so heavy, but he gets up, and he’s dragging his feet as he goes to the bathroom, but at least now he feels somewhat awake. He’s pretty sure that Minho must have left, given the silence that fell, but no, when Seungmin opens the door to his room, he’s met with Minho still standing there.
Seungmin lets out a strangled yelp.
“Jesus, you scared me,” he gasps, clutching at his chest.
But Minho doesn’t look sorry in the slightest. “Haha, look at your hair!” he laughs, pointing a finger at Seungmin’s head.
It’s true that Seungmin’s hair looks like a mess every morning, but does Minho have to point it out, especially after almost scaring Seungmin to death twice within the span of a few minutes? Seungmin doesn’t think so.
“I thought you were supposed to be nice to your guests,” he mumbles, gently pushing Minho out of his way.
“Mum’s not here, so I can do what I want,” Minho answers smugly.
Seungmin closes his eyes and rubs his temples. He truly doesn’t know what to say to that, especially since he isn’t the most witty before his morning coffee, but Minho decides not to bother him any longer.
He shouts, “Hurry up, I’ve already made you breakfast,” as he runs down the stairs, leaving Seungmin in the hall alone, sleepy and confused.
*
On the same day they go to the market, Seungmin takes Mrs. Lee up on the offer of borrowing a tent. Maybe it will do him good to spend the night outside.
Minho helps him put it up. It's one of those big tents that have two compartments on the sides where you can sleep and then some empty space in the middle. Seungmin wonders whether it would be creepy to ask Minho if he wants to stay for the night and sleep on the other side. In the end, he decides that it would be a little weird, so he doesn't.
The three of them have a barbecue in the evening, but Mrs. Lee doesn't stay for long. Minho stays a bit longer just to make sure that the fire is put down entirely.
Seungmin disappears for a moment inside the tent, slowly getting ready to sleep, and it all would be good, if not for a bug. A damn bug that Seungmin sees the moment he enters the tent, that is huge and makes him scream.
Minho catches it and brings it outside, letting it out far, far away.
"Was it worth screaming so loud?" he teases. "Such a small thing."
“Can you stay here?” Seungmin asks before thinking. He's still shaking a little from the experience. In the eye of his mind, he's still seeing those big antennas and long legs moving in strange way. There must have been at least six of them. And don't even get him started on the wings.
Minho sends him a perplexed look.
“For now,” Seungmin adds, trying to squeeze his body further down his sleeping bag to feel a bit safer.
He immediately regrets ever asking, given just how weirded out Minho looks after hearing the question. He's about to say 'nevermind' when Minho climbs inside the compartment, zips up the entrance and lies down. There's not much space, so it looks more like he's squeezed between Seungmin and the wall of the tent, but Seungmin is in too big of a shock to move backward. He's just sitting there like a fool, already getting sweaty from stress. Or maybe it's just the heat of the sleeping bag. He can't tell.
"Come on, sleep."
Seungmin lies down hesitantly. There is so little space here that it's almost scary.
What's scarier is that Minho is looking at him intensely.
"Why are you staring?" Seungmin asks.
"Want to make sure there's no bug on your forehead."
Seungmin snorts. "You're still rude."
"And you're still grumpy." Minho reaches for Seungmin's hand. "Feels safer when I hold you?"
"You're barely holding me."
Minho wraps himself around Seungmin's body. "Now better?"
It's definitely better. Maybe it should feel weird, given that he's known Minho for only a few days, but now that he's gotten over the initial shock of this sudden close proximity, he feels good. Minho makes him feel comfortable. "Yes, it's better. Now I feel protected."
"Mhm... But... have you heard that spiders can climb into your mouth while you're sleeping?"
"Isn't that a myth?"
"Better safe than sorry."
Seungmin, stupidly, only now realises what Minho's getting at. Minho's expression—his smile, the gentle look in his eyes, the way his gaze fleets between Seungmin's eyes and his lips—only serves as a confirmation. "Oh. Oh, yeah. I think you should totally make sure that nothing—"
Minho apparently doesn't need any further invitation. He gets even closer and kisses Seungmin.
It's a slow, sweet kiss, and as unexpected as it is, there is nothing more Seungmin could've asked for at that moment.
*
(Towards the end of his stay, Seungmin reports to Felix that he found himself a boyfriend. Minho instists Seungmin sends Felix pictures of all his three cats, since they're very important findings, much more important than Minho. Seungmin rolls his eyes but doesn't protest.
He spends the entire afternoon looking for and chasing after Dori all around the house just to snap one photo, but he can't complain. Not when hearing Minho laugh at his failed attempts makes Seungmin the happiest he's been in months.)