Work Text:
Hi, guys, this is for my Percy Jackson readers, since you guys are my most active fanbase at the moment. That's why it's tagged as it is. Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't actually a work.
So, I started university a week ago and I've been really exhausted. The temperature control in my dorm isn't working and facilities said they weren't going to do anything about it. I did finally get confirmation from a 3rd party today that something will be done, thank god. Since I moved in, the temperature around here has been 26-29 degrees Celsius (79-84F). I've been feeling dizzy and sick, have barely slept in days. With a fan on and the window wide open, it's 28.3 right now. So I haven't been writing, because I had little energy after my course readings in the heat.
And I was going to get back into it once that was solved.
But.
Today my mother called me from the other side of the country, where the rest of my family is. My father kissed his female friend and told my mother he wants a divorce. It's been a long time coming; we all knew SOMETHING would happen, but my mom loves him so much, and she said they were going to work on their relationship with my sister and I gone at school.
My mother's job is a contract teacher, so she has to stay in this school for the year. But in Spring, they're going to sell the house. Mom is going to move out to Nov Scotia, somewhere more affordable than Halifax, to be near me. I'm going to be staying with her in the summers. I didn't want to live in Nova Scotia. Here is humid and dreary, greyer than the beauty of BC that I always loved. This isn't my home, but my mother needs me and I need her, and I'm going to be her support when she's here. No, I'm not done altogether, don't worry. This won't go that long.
My sister will stay with my father in BC. She'll find out in person next week. Until then, it's my secret to bear. I only found out about this about two, two and a half hours ago, so I'm feeling the brunt of it right now. I love my father so much. I told him I would never fully forgive him and that I could never see him the same way again. My mother says I made him cry pretty hard. My father never cries. I have only seen it once. I didn't mean to hurt him, I was just upset. I told him that; he hasn't seen the message yet. Of course I'm upset, but I don't want to not be his daughter anymore. I love my dad.
But with my mom moving out here, my family is splitting in two. I may not see my sister OR my father until graduation. That day is still two years away. I'm alone here, I have no family to turn to. My friends are the sensitive kind; the kind that don't like when you tell them family problems because it's too triggering. I don't cry, like my father, but I haven't been able to stop yet. I went to dinner and couldn't eat. I finished a cup of tea. This morning, I was so excited to see the email confirming that the KSU was in the dark until now and that they're going to fix our heat, and I was curled up on my bed watching Anastasia with my snacks, playing with my cat.
This morning, my family was whole.
This is very hard, and I still have classes to complete as well that I can't fall behind in. So, for the time being, I'm going on a hiatus from this site. I will be coming back; I may write a little in my spare time, but I won't be posting for a while. I've got a lot to deal with and a lot to process. Next week, I'm going to have to be there for my little sister when she finds out. She was scared they would get divorced as soon as she left for university. My mother assured her it wasn't true, but it's exactly what happened.
While I was writing this, my dad said it's okay, we're all hurting. So, I guess that's one fear off my heart. At least I haven't broken my relationship with my dad.
But I need some time to handle everything and figure out where I'm going now. I'll never see my home again. I'll never have a holiday dinner with my whole family again. I keep thinking that I wish I'd known the last time we all went out together would be the last time. But I also think if I had known, it would have been too bitter. I look at the picture of myself smiling with a dinosaur sign that my city uses for Wildlife Crossing signs and I can't wrap my head around it being the last picture of a family trip.
I'll come back when I'm ready to write happy things again, okay? I promise. I'm going to miss you guys!! I really love posting on here, but I think it'll be some time, so I want to keep you guys in the loop instead of just up and vanishing for three months or however long.
I hope you guys don't forget about me while I'm over here!! I WILL be back! I owe y'all a goldenheart fic that's half finished and I got a NUMBER of Solangelo fics that I LOVE and I am GOING to finish them up at some point.
Thanks for always sticking by me; I can't wait to come back and continue posting :D I'll miss you guys. Please don't forget about me, okay? I love you SOOOO much <3<3<3