Chapter Text
What do you think loneliness does to one’s mind? The feeling of insanity clawing at the edges of your head like a persistent virus you can’t get rid of.
Have you ever stepped into a cold dark room that acted like your tomb instead of a place where you sleep and thought ‘Wow. It’s sad I feel comfortable here’..have you? I have, But in all honesty, I wish I still could. Because at least there were others to talk to..
The loneliness wasn’t so lonely with others who acnolaged you, even if it was with a sneer or the look of disappointment. Even if gnawed on my insides in a way that it made me sick
But now? All that remains is the bitter bite of cold and the reminder of my mistakes, Of my sins that are unforgivable. Even if I had no control over what happened
Funny isn’t it? What one would give, would Take and do, just to get some sense of control and companionship..just like me..
Robo-god- how long have I been out here now?..weeks? Months?
Years?
Oh how Uzi hated the cold now, Yet, she can’t stand the heat either..not after- Uzi smacked herself with a growl, ‘Nope. We are not going there today.’ She huffed to herself. her tail swishing behind her as she trekked through the never ending snow
The rotten skeletons of a failed world towered over her, stone and metal being overtaken by nuclear winter. Adding to the isolation she was feeling, the drone sighed and got to an old shack that belonged to the outskirts of the broken husk of a city
She hated it here, this place was empty. It was cold, and.. it was quiet- the burning hum inside her core filling the dead air..it’s fine- its fine..shesfineitsfinenotithingiswrongwithher-
Uzi carefully opened the door to her home, tail thrashing angrily as she dumped what she had into the ground, two large canisters sloshed loudly with a few personal things to add to this depressing place hitting the ground with audible clinks
The shack was mostly intact, though she had to board up the windows and a few holes so the snow wouldn’t get in and ruin everything. It was simple, a bit empty, a few lights she had were strung up and flickered to life with a flick of a switch, showing a empty yet messy room full of random projects to fill the time and things she had collected over her isolation
There was a few posters she had found but they were badly damaged, a really shitty mattress that mocked her with it’s torn apart bottom, making it really uncomfortable but it was better than the frozen floor
Uzis' wings slowly folded to her sides, sickening snaps and poop f joints filling the room as she sat down on the mattress and grabbed her tools
One may be wondering what got her here. Why isn’t she in the bunker? With the other worker drones?
Why was she alone?.
The day was a normal day. It was at least for a little while, she was working on Her sick as hell railgun she made to fight against the murder drones, she showed it off in class but.. it just ended up exploding in her face
Then after school ended the usual beat down was happening, her getting thrown around, kicked, punched, slapped, stepped on, you name it, they did it
Uzi didn’t scream. Not even a sob, Far too used to at this point.
She was just hoping it would end soon.. When suddenly she felt..too hot- a burning sensation in her core, it made her mind Stop and her eyes to glitch and fill with tears- the alarms in her head began going off with blaring red signs. That’s when her world gets distorted and went dark
When she came back, she was caged with a fleshy tail, soft bat like ears and monstrous wings attached to her metal frame like monstrous tumors as oil stained her metal frame
She could feel them, feel every twitch, every flick and ache. it scared her.
But that’s not what fully happened..no, the end was much worse..
They dragged her outside. Where the murder drones were, they took anything that would kill her, Anything. Many brought stuff to hit her to death, others got real weapons, knives...Some even got wood, and gasoline.
She sobbed and screamed, Begging and pleading with all her might, Apologizing for everything she did, even for the shit she didn’t do but was blamed for..they didn’t listen
They chained her to a large rock, Pulling the ropes so tight they bent her frame. They nailed and tied her wings to her back and made sure her tail wouldn’t move a singular inch.
That’s when they beat her. They stabbed, slashed, whipped, Smashed, shot, You get it. They didn’t stop until her voice box stopped and her visor went dark.
But she was still alive, she was still very alive and they knew that from the sobs and the few shivers that wrecked her frame violently
once they poured the gasoline, they signed her death warrant with a match, the small flame making it all burst into a roaring explosion. Her distorted voice broke into screams that grew just as loud as the howling firestorm mixed with the frost of Copper 9
Not once did she see her father, Nor did he do anything to stop it.
He didn’t even say I’m sorry..or I love you.
Uzi growled, the unnatural feral sound clawing her voice box with tones untamed, her hands grabbing at her blackened and fire bitten frame with scars that were left behind from the event. Her teeth getting too sharp for her liking, the bat-like ears twitching softly as her tail flicked. the growl deepening before stopping
There was no point in wasting her energy on someone who clearly didn’t care. Not anymore. Uzi sighed and ran a hand over her visor, feeling both the perfectly intact glass and sorrow grip her broken core with its far too familiar claws.
Enough thinking. Stop it. Repress it. That’s what you're good at, and it’s what you will do.
Uzis' broken voice box hummed at her inner monologue. She had repeated that same phrase over and over and over again, the words more ingrained into her memory then the face of her own father.
With a silent sigh, she locked away what little light she had in her dented chest, and went to work on her next project to waste her time with..maybe she can go outside and look for more parts?
- - - - - -
N sighed as he watched the horizon, legs softly kicking as his tail wagged around in the air. Watching the stars slowly dance across the sky.
N hasn’t had anything interesting to do that wasn’t hunting for a while. Maybe he should
Go look for a friend! Or look for some cool stuff, maybe even something for V!
Even if the psychotic drone didn’t remember his name, he still felt the shift in his core whenever she looked his way. This was probably unhealthy, Especially with how mean V and J were but he was happy doing anything.
N sighed and spread open his wings to go look for something to do while hunting when he heard it..something fell.
He jumped a bit and looked down from the husk that was a skyscraper. The city was empty as always at first glance, but he noticed fresh footprints in the snow. Perhaps it was a new friend! Or food, or BOTH! either worked in the end
With a single flap of his metal wings, that allowed him to softly glide down. His face breaking into a smile, it was definitely A worker drone, easy to tell from the size of the tracks. He could practically smell the oil! So In his special fashion, he followed the tacks with a skip in his step
~. - - - - - - .~
The blizzard made it hard to see, The endless white making it hard. Uzi didn’t mind though, while the cold was empty, it numbed her raging core and calmed her mind. It made the memory’s stop, and shut the voices that plagued her.
Even if she hated the cold. It wasn’t the cold itself, but the loneliness that followed..her pride wouldn’t let her say that to anyone though
She huffed a sigh, feeling her wings droop slightly as she closed her eyes. Her tail waving in the wind as she pulled her beanie over her fluffy ears and let her mind wonder
Perhaps she could go searching for those murder drones? No..they would kill her on the spot. Maybe a new colony? Doubtful. The ones she found immediately were not interested once they saw her wings..she was gonna rot alone Huh?
Curse her Angst brain for latching into those fucking topics
Suddenly the ground under her cracked..
Crap, She walked right onto this, Her panic rose as it cracked more before she could react
she let out a distorted scream as it caved in, a broken cellar fell apart while she was on top. that fucking luck she had
Stone and wood scraped at her, adding more dents and cracks to her body as she was buried under rubble. metal poles had found its way in her neck and waist while rocks almost tore off her hand and other limbs, a big rock had smacked into her visor, making it crack and black out for a moment
Once she regained her vision, it was all fuzzy. This was bad- she needed to get up. So she tried, using her arms to push herself up- only for the rebar in her waist to go deeper and the rubble to add more weight
It hurts- ithurtsomuchandshecantmove-
She whimpered as she felt a rebar in her neck dig into her wiring. She was fucked- either she will bleed out or a murder drone will find her. Either way, she will die and her surviving alone was for nothing
Her misery will end in a pit. Uzi doorman, forgotten to the frost
- - - - - -
N sighed, his smile fading to a frown. He had been following the footprints and eventually came to an old shack, Filled with different things and trinkets. Who lived here? Did he go the wrong way?
He slowly began going through the stuff. Of course he felt bad about invading but you can’t blame him for being curious.
He found a few shiny things, a couple of mysterious jugs full of something, but what got his attention was a small music box and a large sketchbook.
When he wound up the music box, The soft melody filled the lonely room perfectly. Gentle tones dancing with the whispers of the snow, chasing away the empty embrace and instantly turning it beautiful.
N could recall the melody, not the lyrics or who made it but he was able to at least label the song. He didn’t quite remember the name but he knew he at least heard it before
As the music box played, N turned to the sketchbook. The cover was well used and worn, both from the time it spent in the winter, and from personal use. Simple black with white tape that had faded writing, so faded that N couldn’t quiet read it
But that didn’t matter, did it? He opened the book with care, taking in the well made arts. Some were of places he had seen before, Well drawn and colored to the point it looked more like a photograph than a sketch. However his vision could pick up the individual strokes of pencil on paper to prove him wrong
Others were of worker drones, One with well kept blonde locks, and snarky pink eyes. A sneer smothered over the drone's face. The page was in Rough shape with harsh X’s scribbled over the eyes. Different words written with a trembling hand varyed..
Deceiver. Monster. Heartless. LIER..
Moving on to the next page, showed another well drawn picture. This one was of a drone with green eyes and a wide smile, cap on to match the clothing they wore. This was drawn with extreme care, Trying to capture as many details as it could, However more shaky writing was at the bottom
Traitor. Abandoner. Heartbreaker.
N was confused. Who were these drones? Much less worker drones? J said they are mindless toasters Yet..he shook his head, moving on in the book with a flick of his tail
The next page had a drawing of someone, this drawing was made with great haste and anger. The colors mixed together harshly and wrong, it looked like whoever did this, they really didn’t like this person. There was so many words and insults on this one it was almost Unreadable except for one word on the bottom
Neglectful.
That began to make N flip the pages faster, disliking the hateful vibe they gave off . The more he flipped the more worker drones were there but began less and less detailed, more hateful and pained writing filling the book until it just stopped.
And instead, different artworks of stories, both fantasy and personal diary entries. Many of the fantasy depicting some sort of death, freedom, or community.
His favorite one so far was about a dove, Who’s feathers were not white as snow like the others. Instead, its feathers were that of great blackness of night. However The other doves hated the midnight dove for being different, and often hurt them
One day, the dove's bullys dragged them far from home and left them where they were lost and did not know the way home. It cried and pleaded for them to stop and to help but no one listened. Leaving the poor dove for dead
Alone and scared, the dove hid away in a deep den.
However in this den, was a mighty Gray wolf who was sleeping. The wolf woke to find the black dove, growling deeply at the small bird as it demanded what the dove was doing in its home
However the dove didn’t answer, It’s crying soft and quiet as it began limping towards the wolf's maw..it laid down, presenting its broken bleeding body on a silver platter. weakly they whispered for the wolf to eat them.
The wolf was surprised and confused, they asked why the dove wished for this. The midnight dove wept as as it told the wolf
“Everyone at home hates me, For my feathers are not pure like theirs, Tainted instead. I am no dove. My feathers are of cruel shadows and My own family ignores me, I just want to make it stop, I don’t want to be alone and ugly anymore”
The wolf went quiet, its growl changing to a sigh as they nudged the dove close to their fur. “I don’t believe that, Your feathers are as mysterious and beautiful as the night sky itself. You are not tainted or ugly, for the stars and moon dance together with the midnight sky. You won’t be alone anymore little dove, I’ll be your friend.”
The end.
N smiled as he finished going through the book, The Dove story was definitely his favorite but many others were just as good too.
He didn’t want to risk this getting ruined so he will leave this here until the storm stops. For now he will continue to hunt for this worker