Archive of Our Own ^beta

After Galavant discovered the King wasn't really as he imagined him to be, he was more and more floored by the huge disrepancy between the reality and the image. The real King Richard was more maiden hearted than Madalena ever was, even when she was ACTUALLY a maiden, many, many, many moons ago.

He knew this when Richard hid behind him with a startled squeak, clutching on Galavant's sleeve when the pirate captain growled at him. He knew this when Richard made a mess of himself trying to eat dinner on his own and Galavant had to help him clean his beard with a napkin. He knew this when he insisted to share a quarter with Galavant because "You're the only one I can trust." Richard had said, expression puppyish and eyes so damn blue Galavant really truly madly wanted to see how they looked wet with tears. 

Judging by the look of it, that might not be a pipe dream.

When they retired to their bunk for the night, Galavant is horrified to know that not only the cot they were supposed to share tiny, there wasn't any pillow. There wasn't even one, much less a second pillow. 

And so Galavant found himself in the strangest situation he has ever faced, and that was something considering his life wasn't exactly boring. In fact, up to a moment ago the strangest situation he ever faced was meeting a group of accapela monks.

But now, squished together in a single cot, he was cuddling his former enemy. 

Richard had his arms wrapped around him like an octopus, one leg between Galavant's, and Galavant didn't have much of a choice than to cuddle back, or he would end up with a really awkward position. 

While he would never admitted it, Galavant was quite a cuddler himself. Madalena was never one for post coital cuddles, and every single time Galavant attempted it it always ended up more as a prologue to the second round than a happily ever after of the first round. He wasn't complaining, of course. Sex in general was great, and sex with Madalena even more so. But Galavant missed this, having a warm body in his arms, the other person's body heat and steady breathing lulling him to slumber.

Even if the other person was his enemy.

But well, Galavant would take what he could get.

Galavant took him closer into his arms, letting Richard bury his face in the crook of his neck while he let his chin rest on Richard's head. Richard nuzzled up to him and gave a contented sigh before falling steadily asleep.

Meanwhile, Galavant was valiantly fighting a really awkward and untimely boner.

Richard wasn't an unattractive man, he had to admit. Tall, handsome, great hair, and eyes so blue they made him want to cannonball into them. Plus, he smelled really, really nice.

As nice as any medieval person could smell, considering the general state of hygiene in that time period. 

He supposed the fact that Richard smelled nice was a testament to his royal status. Bergamot and lavender oil, and a hint of the sea and sweat. He himself must smell terrible after being stuck in the dungeon for so long, but Richard didn't mention anything about it. His hair was soft too, unlike Galavant’s own short coarse hair. 

It was going to be a long night and an even longer journey.

___

The pirates terrified Richard, unsurprisingly. He seemed to be lost without his Gareth, and since Galavant was all he had, he started following Galavant like a lost duckling. 

Which wasn’t adorable at all, Galavant kept telling himself, even after the fourth time he stopped abruptly to make the king smack right onto him. 

He turned around just in time to catch Richard furrowing his brows in a pout, and Galavant had to resist squishing him in his arms and making cooing noises.

___

“Here you go, matey. One for you and one for the missus.” The pirate winked, although Galavant couldn’t see it because the eye that winked was the one under the eyepatch. But he knew it. The pirate’s body language all pointed towards a wink. 

“Oh haha, very funny.” Galavant let go of the rope he was holding to take the proffered tray of food. Ignoring a yelp that came from above him, he took it below deck to their room. Richard hasn't been outside their room since he caught a cold a few nights ago.

‘Wear your jacket. The sea at night can be cold.’ He remembered telling Richard, going as far as offering his own jacket. But did he listen? Of course not.

He opened the door with one hand, right when Richard let out a miserable sneeze. He put the tray on a barrel they’ve been using as a side table, sat on the edge of the bed and helped Richard to sit up. 

Richard groaned and immediately leaned against his shoulder, looking like he was on the verge of crying or passing out, one of the two. Galavant rubbed his arm consolingly and handed him his soup. "Eat this and drink your tea, you'll feel better soon. And don't forget your medicine."

Richard's eyes were wet and he looked at Galavant like he had the power to make it all go away, which he obviously didn't. Richard drank his soup obligingly, leaning against Galavant all the while. Galavant left one arm wrapped around the king as he drank his own soup with one hand. 

Richard let out a happy little sigh once he finished the soup and he let Galavant take his bowl away. Then he handed him a mug of tea and a small folded package.

Richard groaned, "Do I have to?"

"Do you enjoy having a stuffy nose and a pounding headache? No? Then yes, you have to." Galavant said, a bit irritated. This was not the first conversation they had about this.

"It's bitter." He made a face, and once again Galavant had to remind himself that this was a grown man and not a seven year old.

"It's medicine, what do you expect?" Galavant said. Richard opened the packet and glared at Galavant as if saying 'I'll do it, and I'm not gonna like it, but I'll do it as a favor for you and you better be damn grateful for it.' Galavant rolled his eyes.

Richard tipped his head and quickly poured the white powder into his mouth, washing it away with his tea.

Okay, now he was definitely crying.

"Good boy." Galavant grinned and patted his arm. "I have something for you."

Richard looked up to him with wet eyes and it was all Galavant could do not to kiss him. He wouldn't even mind the bitter taste on his tongue.

Instead, Galavant took out an orange from his coat pocket and reveled in how it made Richard's eyes lit up with glee. "To get rid of the bad taste." Galavant said, smiling brightly.

"Yay! Where did you get this?" Richard clapped his hands gleefully as Galavant peeled the orange for him.

"Won it in a card game." He replied and offered him the fruit. Richard happily let him feed it to him piece by piece until soon there was no more. 

Galavant put the peel on the tray with the empty dishes and helped Richard lay back down. “Get some rest, okay?"

As he moved away, a hand caught his sleeve.

"Where are you going?" Richard asked, not even bothering to mask the pleading whine in his tone.

"I need to help around the ship." He answered, a bit apologetically.

"No, you don't." Richard insisted, tugging a little harder. A bit too hard for someone who was supposedly ‘dying of cold’, as he insisted yesterday.

"Yes, I do." Galavant said, even though he knew this wasn't a battle he could win.

"I'm cold." Richard said finally, coughing miserably to sell the bit. "And I can't sleep without you."

Galavant directed his eyes to the heavens and sighed. He knew he was being blatantly manipulated, but he found it endearing that Richard wanted him around that bad.

He supposed that was when he knew he was in a big big trouble.

"All right." He sighed resignedly, trying to look put on "Only until you fall asleep."

Richard nodded energetically and scooted to make space for Galavant, who slid under the blanket and was quickly repurposed as the king's second pillow and personal heater. Richard laid his head on the crook of his shoulder, rubbing his cheek against Gal's chest like a cat. He had an arm thrown across Galavant's torso, clinging like a particularly cuddly octopus. And as usual, Galavant sighed resignedly as he wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Richard once told him that it was the most marvelous thing to have a pillow that can hug you back, and honestly he didn't know how he felt about that.

The king was radiating heat like a furnace and to be honest Galavant felt like being baked under the blanket, but he felt it was worth it when he heard Richard's quiet hoarse 'Thank you.' whispered against his collar bone before he fell asleep.

Galavant made sure the king was asleep before pressing his lips against his forehead.

Meanwhile, high up on the mast, a pirate was hanging by a rope, half his body tangled in a messy web of knots.

"Is Galavant coming back soon?" The pirate cried desperately, clutching on the rope like it was a lifeline.

"I don't reckon so, he's with the missus." Another pirate yelled back, leaning back against a barrel with a bottle of rum in his hand.

Silence, and then "...Then can you give me a hand?" 

"Can't, matey. Terribly busy." He said, as he turned another page of Booty Monthly.

___

“Land ho!” Pirate #1 cried, and when Galavant went above deck sure enough he could see the shores of his homeland. A loud ‘Oof’ reminded him that Richard was right behind him before he stopped in awe of the view and he ran straight at him. He steadied Richard by his arms and helped him lean against the railing to see his kingdom.

The port was bustling with life and trade was going strong. Richard had an excited smile on his face and Galavant couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty of it. Richard turned to Galavant with his blinding smile and hugged him. “We’re home!”

“Almost, my king.” Galavant smiled, and hugged him closer, “Almost.” 

___

The farewell with the pirates was slightly more tearful than Galavant expected. 

“You take care, you hear?” Pirate #2 said, wiping away his tears with a ratty lace handkerchief. “Don’t eat things off the ground, you’ll get sick. And have this big lump here try the food first, in case it’s poisoned.” he said, smacking Galavant on the chest a lot harder than necessary.

“I will, Mumpus, thank you.” Richard said, his own eyes a bit glossy. Apparently Pirate #2 was named Mumpus, which was rather unfortunate of him.

“Don’t forget your scarf, Richie. You’ll catch your death out there.” Pirate #1 said, wrapping a hand-knitted woolen scarf around Richard’s neck. “You be a good king, all right? Be good to your people, and listen to your elders. Don’t go chopping off 'eads now, unless they deserve it, ‘course.” 

“Thank you, Dingus. I will.” His lips were wobbling by now, and he hugged the other unfortunately-named pirate warmly before Pirate #3 took him aside.

“And listen here, young lad. That boy there may be pretty, but he’s not the brightest coin in the pile, you ken? You’re young, handsome, and you’re a king! Plenty of fish in the sea, I'd say. I wouldn’t blame you if you… look at your options.” Pirate #3 said, and Richard blinked in confusion.

“OKAY, enough of that. Thank you, brave pirates, and good bye!” Galavant grabbed Richard by the shoulders and swiftly steered him away from the pirates, into the small row boat that will get them to port. 

“Bye Richie, bye!” they all waved at Richard as they lowered the boat, and some of them even blew kisses at him. 

Richard waved energetically at him and Galavant had a tight smile plastered on his face until they couldn’t see the ship anymore.

“Nice people.” He smiled, and Galavant wondered if he should point out that his naval army has been hunting those ‘nice people’ for years.

___

When they reached the port, a messenger brought them a message from Gareth. 

“There are two horses ready for you at the local stables along with supplies for your journey. Also, if it gets cold tell Richard to wear his scarf. I know it’s itchy, but he always catches a cold if he leaves his neck uncovered.” Galavant read the message out loud.

“That’s not true.” Richard protested.

“Yes Richard, it’s true. Remember last autumn when you caught a bad cold and thought you were going to die? I thought so.” Galavant continued, still reading from the message.

Richard crossed his arms sulkily and huffed.

The message further explained that he didn’t prepare them a carriage or an entourage because there was always a chance Kingsley’s men were planning an assassination. They must travel in secret and take the forest path. Lastly, Gareth warned Galavant to be on his toes, and reiterated that if anything were to happen to Richard, his friends would be the least of his worries.

“Oh-kay.” Galavant skimmed past the string of colorful threats of bodily harm, and winced at the creative threats made against his testicles. “To the stables then?"

“Let’s go!” Richard agreed, with more cheer than expected for a king that just fled out of the country chased off by his own bully of a big brother.

Before they went to the stables, Galavant found a postal office (essentially a carrier pigeon coop) and asked him to send a message to Gareth. The message roughly went, 'We're here, we're alive, Richard did catch a cold but he's fine now, really he's totally fine please don't hurt my friends or my balls, we're on our way to the castle now and we'll send you something when we get there. Say hi to the others. Lots of love ;)'

___

The stable master gave them two strong horses, both brown in color for better camouflage against the forest. Richard chose the sweet chestnut-colored mare and named her, predictably, Chestnut. That left Galavant with the tan stallion which he let Richard name. He named him Steve. 

Galavant opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it, clamping his jaw with a thunk. 

So began the epic journey of Galavant and King Richard, atop their mighty steeds: Chestnut and… Steve.

___