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Alright. Today's the day.
Riley blew out a breath as she pushed open the door to Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death for the fourth day in a row. It was nearly one o'clock, the time that A.Z. Fell & Co. was most likely to open (according to the internet forums), despite the sign on the door reading that they would usually open at half-past nine or ten.
Although, considering the fact that in her four days of constant watch and almost a month of occasional visits she had yet to see them open, it was reasonable to assume that the sign meant absolutely nothing.
She had entered the bookshop exactly once before, seeking a reprieve from the crashing rain after getting caught in a sudden thunderstorm. It had been a little stuffy and had a strange, vaguely mouldy smell, but it was cozy and cluttered in a comforting, lived-in way. Mr Fell had welcomed her warmly, inviting her to a heavily cushioned armchair and even a cup of tea. She remembered a few odd looks from him when she got up to browse the shelves, but otherwise, he was kindly and sweet and, despite being a total stranger, made her feel oddly safe.
Now that she actually wanted in, of course, the task was proving seemingly impossible.
She asked Nina for her usual black coffee before securing a seat as close to the window as possible to begin her stakeout. She squinted across the street, sure she could see a rough silhouette of Mr Fell in one of his armchairs, but it was too far to be sure. She sat back and let her thoughts wander, never taking her eyes off the shop door.
The sharp clunk of her coffee hitting the table startled her from her thoughts and she looked up to see the Nina looking down at her with a mildly amused expression. "Back at it, hm?" she asked.
"Yeah, guess so. It's ridiculous. How does he make any money like this?" Riley asked, exasperated.
"God knows, really. I don't remember the last time I saw someone walking out of there with a book." Nina gave her a clipped smile and began to walk off. "Good luck."
Riley sighed lightly into her coffee for a moment before taking a sip. She looked back to the shop to continue her watch and had to blink several times, convinced her eyes were deceiving her.
A black and red snake was draped across the windowsill inside the shop. It was massive, at least ten feet long, lounging in the sunlight and Riley was absolutely sure it hadn't been there two minutes ago. She was already debating crossing over to get a better look when the sign on the door suddenly flipped to "open."
Her coffee forgotten, Riley rushed out of the coffee shop and over the road, coming far too close to getting run over. She took a deep breath in front of the door and stepped inside.
The bookshop was much the same as it was the last time she was here - the smell, the clutter, the homeliness - apart from, of course, the snake.
After a quick glance around discovering Mr Fell was nowhere to be seen, she took a few tentative steps towards the snake. Its eyes were open but it never reacted as she approached so she drew even closer until she was within touching distance. There was no enclosure for it in the shop that she could see, should it really be free to just roam around? What if it bit someone? She began reaching out to touch it...
"Ah, Riley! Good afternoon," a voice said behind her.
Riley jumped violently and whirled around. "Mr Fell!"
He smiled at her. "It's lovely to see you again. Can I help you with anything?"
Now that her heart wasn't pounding, she realised Mr Fell had somehow remembered her name, after only seeing her once several months ago. "Ah... you... you have a snake." She observed dumbly. Mr Fell only laughed kindly.
"Well yes, I do." She heard a rustling behind her and turned to see the snake shifting and slithering down to the floor. She edged away nervously.
"Is it dangerous?" She watched the snake coil around Mr Fell's leg and torso until it was draped across his body like an oversized scarf.
Mr Fell smiled softly at the snake and raised his hand to pet its head. "Oh, no, not at all, my dear. He's really quite friendly, actually." At this, the snake's previously sleepy head jerked up, hissed, and snapped its teeth in almost human-like outrage. Riley blinked and wondered if she had ever had a stranger conversation. "Well, I suppose he is venomous," Mr Fell added with an apologetic glance at the snake.
Riley immediately took a compulsive step back. "Venomous?! Shouldn't it be in an enclosure, and... Well, surely you shouldn't be holding it like that!"
"Ah, not to worry! He doesn't bite," Mr Fell promised. Riley eyed the snake skeptically as it circled around Mr Fell's body lazily. "Now, is there anything I can help you with?"
"Oh, well, yes..."
~
After Mr Fell had pointed her towards the poetry section, Riley had spent a good twenty minutes poring through the books, only to come up empty-handed. She was then five minutes into trying (and currently failing) to work out the complicated and seemingly nonexistent shelving system when she heard voices from the from of the shop. Wondering who might have come in, she stalked closer.
"...at four o'clock?"
"Yes, that sounds lovely, my dear."
"Alright. See you then, angel."
Riley turned the corner to see a tall, skinny man with flaming hair and sunglasses pull Mr Fell into a kiss before turning to leave. She found herself only mildly surprised that Mr Fell had a partner, and mostly shocked about how his apparent boyfriend was quite literally his polar opposite. As she realised Mr Fell was approaching, she tucked back between the shelves before he realised she had been spying on him and busied herself with looking through books.
"Excuse me, dear girl?" He inquired when he reached her.
"Oh, um, yeah?"
"My apologies, but I'm going to have to close early today. I'm going out with my wife shortly."
Riley did her best to disguise her perplexed expression by covering her mouth and coughing. "Your... your wife?" she asked, double-checking.
He smiled fondly. "Yes, we haven't been out together in a while. I do really need to close."
Riley blinked at Mr Fell. She had just seen him kiss a man, and now he was going on about his wife? No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't imagine Mr Fell cheating. "Um... yeah, of course," she reshelved the book she was holding in its previous position. "I'll be out of your way then. Thanks." She turned abruptly and left the bookshop without another word.
Out on the street once again, Riley suddenly realised she hadn't finished her coffee at Nina's before rushing into the bookshop, so she decidedly crossed the road and entered Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death
for the second time that day to get another.
Upon setting foot in the coffee shop, Nina greeted her almost instantaneously. "Did you get your book, then?"
Riley sighed dejectedly. "No, I couldn't find it. Mr Fell closed early and kicked me out though. Maybe I could try again another day."
Nina nodded agreeably and then listened to Riley's coffee order. When she began making it, Riley hesitantly asked, "Nina, is Mr Fell married?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's got a husband. Why do you ask?"
A husband. "No reason." She took her coffee from Nina. "Thanks," she added, paying before swivelling around to leave.
~
Two days later, Riley re-entered the bookshop, now set on informing at least one of Mr Fell's multiple partners that he appeared to be cheating on them. She wasn't even sure if either of them knew, but she felt morally obligated to make sure.
When she got in, the man from her last visit was lounging on a sofa, sunglasses still secure on his face despite being indoors. Now she could get a proper look at him, she noticed a small tattoo on his temple in the silhouette of a snake.
Seeing the shop's owner appear from around a bookshelf, she greeting him with a slightly forced smile. "Hi, Mr Fell." Finding that she did not quite fancy being surprised by trying to pick up a book and finding a ten-foot-long reptile beneath her fingers, she added, "Where's the snake?"
To her dismay, Mr Fell only shrugged and replied, "Oh, he'll be around here somewhere."
Riley nodded uncertainly and took off in the direction of the poetry section.
She ended up staying in the shop for almost two and a half hours. After confirming the book she was looking for was most definitely not among the stacked shelves, she had spent the rest of the time trying to make herself appear preoccupied while waiting fruitlessly for a chance to speak to the 'husband' alone.
When she had stalled for as long as she possibly could have, she stalked out of the door glumly with a longing look back inside.
She would come back another day, although she absentmindedly wondered how many consecutive visits to the bookshop she could make before it started becoming suspicious.
~
After that, the bookshop did not open for five days. On the fifth, excitement lighting up her chest, Riley bound into the building absolutely sure that she would manage to expose Mr Fell today.
Upon entry, she greeted Mr Fell as usual before heading behind some shelves to settle down for the day. The ginger man was nowhere in sight today, nor was the snake.
Approximately forty-five minutes into her shift, the bell above the door jingled and Riley's fingers tingles in anticipation. She was too far to hear the conversation the new arrival was having with Mr Fell, but she could hear their muffled voices and edged closer until she could make out the words.
"Of course, my dear, just give me a moment," Mr Fell's voice said.
The only reply was a grunt of acknowledgment and the receding footsteps of Mr Fell heading into the back room.
Now's my chance, Riley told herself. I need to be quick before he comes back.
She hastily steeled herself and rounded the corner to see, leaning over the counter, a-
A tall, skinny woman. With flaming hair and sunglasses. And, of course, a delicate snake silhouette inked on her temple.
Oh.