Archive of Our Own ^beta

Gina was certain about two things in her life.

One, she was a damn good cheerleader, and she had earned her place in the top spot in her school’s social hierarchy. She took care of her appearance, she was just the right amount of witty, kind and aloof to keep people wanting more from her, and she was talented.

Two, if people didn’t love her, she would make them. Gina had an inherent desire to be liked by everyone, even if that love only presented itself in the form of begrudging respect, and therefore she had to be the best. She wasn’t going to give anyone cause to say she didn’t deserve to be head cheerleader, loved by all.

The only problem with being so well liked was that it was hard to tell when someone genuinely wanted to get to know her for her; and if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t entirely know what being her encompassed. But, she had her group of girls, the ones she could always trust to be real with her, and that was enough.

They stood crowded around Maddox’s locker as she grabbed her books, Kourtney absentmindedly filing her nail with her shoulder against some random locker, Ashlyn scrolling through her phone, and Gina looking around the hallway, ensuring she was making eye contact with and smiling at a select few freshman girls who idolized her, keeping their infatuation with her in tact. To have an empire, you needed an army after all.

“Nini was heartbroken last night,” Maddox said, rolling her eyes, “For like the seventh time this year.”

“Are we surprised?” Kourtney shook her head fondly, “That girl should have seen the red flags a mile away. Why does she keep dating these people with scraps for brains?”

“Nini would date a stick on legs if it was pretty enough and paid attention to her,” Gina quipped, turning back to the group, and Ashlyn slapped her arm.

“Be nice!” she scolded, but she was hiding her own giggles.

“I’m being truthful, which is better than being nice,” Gina retorted, “I bet you I could come up to her with literally anyone and she would fall in love with them.”

“Oh, yeah?” Kourtney replied, a challenging glint in her eye. She swirled her head around to look at the masses of students in the hallway, pursing her lips in concentration, before her eyes settled on someone across the way from them. She smirked slightly, and pointed over, “What about him?”

“Ricky Bowen?” Ashlyn said once everyone had locked eyes on Kourtney’s target, “There’s no way. He’s like, the nerdiest guy in our year. Nini is too shallow for that. No offense or anything, all love to her.”

“I could do it,” Gina confidently responded, and her three friends looked at her disbelievingly, “I could ! I’m Gina Porter, I can do anything. All he needs is a good makeover, and I bet you Nini would be falling all over him.”

“Ricky is notoriously difficult to talk to, he literally doesn’t like anyone,” Maddox argued, “All he does is study and judge people from afar. Trust me, I would know – he’s Jet’s best friend.”

“When have I ever failed at anything?” Gina tutted, and when she was only met with more disbelief, she scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Okay, watch me. I’ll have Nini obsessed with him in less than a month.”

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Ashlyn called out as Gina marched her way over to the boy in question.

She leaned her shoulder on the locker beside his, and tilted her head to look at him, the contact of her body against the metal making a slight thudding sound. Ricky jumped beside her, clutching on to the book he was flipping through and snapping his head her way.

“Hey,” Gina smiled at him, coating her tone with sugar, trying to get him to soften up to her – if what Maddox said was true, she would need it.

Ricky stared at her for a few seconds, before he turned around and looked over his shoulder, as if searching for who she could be talking to. She stuttered out a laugh, shocked by his reaction, before she spoke again, “Ricky, I’m talking to you.”

He looked at her again and narrowed his eyes, slowly closing his book and adjusting the backpack strap on his shoulder, “Why?”

“A girl can’t talk to her fellow upperclassman?”

“Considering the fact that before now you’ve never spoken more than five words at a time to me, and those words are usually something along the lines of ‘Can I borrow your pencil?’” Ricky stared at her, unimpressed, and Gina had the decency to feel a little put out by what he was telling her, “I would say I have a right to be slightly suspicious.”

“Okay, you got me. There’s something I wanted to ask you,” Gina grew a bit flustered by his reaction, unused to people not immediately falling at her feet when she paid them attention. She scrambled to think of something on the spot, and then smiled sweetly when it clicked, “I need a tutor.”

“Good for you,” Ricky replied, slamming his locker shut and beginning to walk away.

“You,” Gina was growing frustrated – she should have gotten what she wanted already, “I need you.”

She reached forward before he could walk away and gripped his wrist, and he stopped still as soon as she made contact, whipping back around and staring at her wide eyed, a slight flush to his cheeks.

Oh , she thought to herself. This is how I can get to him. I always was a good flirt.

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, trying to seem small and helpless, and continued with her ploy, “I’m really struggling in algebra, and I know you’re the top of the class. I need to get my grades up to stay on the cheer team.”

All lies. Gina was excellent at algebra, and there was no way in hell that she’d ever let her average drop below an A. But, Ricky was the type to assume stereotypes about people, and if she could feed into the dumb cheerleader generalization to get her way, then she would.

Ricky hesitated slightly, his face still pink, before his expression hardened, and he pulled his hand from her grip, “Maybe if you studied like the rest of us, you’d be doing better. We can’t always get what we want.”

He turned around again and started walking away, and Gina called out to him, anger in her tone at his audacity, “I thought you were supposed to be nice!”

Ricky whipped back around for the second time, “I am nice!”

“Oh, my bad. Not helping someone out who’s struggling is the epitome of altruism, you’re right,” Gina snapped back sarcastically.

“What exactly do you know about altruism?” Ricky took a step closer, clutching his book in his hands, “You only think about yourself.”

“And you know that because you know me so well, right?” Gina raised an eyebrow. When she noticed they were both heaving after their debate, she decided to settle back into her previous plan, to try and sweet talk him, realizing their arguing was going to get her nowhere, “Look, I just need help. I’m not asking you to do my homework for me – just to work through it with me. I thought we were friendly – I’m sorry if I gave off the wrong impression.”

She scrounged in her own bag and pulled out a pencil, passing it to him, “For all the times I borrowed one of yours.”

He looked at it for a moment, before he sighed, rubbing a hand over his neck, “Keep it. Bring it with you to the library after school. Bring your textbooks.”

“Thank you!” Gina grinned, secretly relieved, worried that it wasn’t going to go as planned after all. She sprung forward to give him a quick hug, mindful of how he reacted to the way she had touched him earlier. She wasn’t surprised when he didn’t hug her back, but she did notice his cheeks had flushed again, his hands brought up to hover by her sides, as if unsure whether he was allowed to touch her.

Getting him to do her bidding was going to be a piece of cake. She already had one foot in the door.

*

Ricky was pointing at her textbook, explaining something about solving for x with fractional indices, but Gina wasn’t paying attention. She was trying to find an organic way to segue into talking about Ricky’s appearance, so she could somehow convince him to accept a makeover from her.

If you ignored the way he dressed himself – big glasses pushed up the bridge of his nose, a ratty denim jacket always found on his shoulders, and Converse that looked like they had been worn through to his socks – he was actually pretty cute. He had that perfect curly hair that sat just right, a single curl falling into pretty dark eyes that were framed with thick lashes. He had softly freckled skin and dimples and he was tall. Gina had a lot to work with, she just needed him to be willing to follow along with her.

“Gina, are you paying attention?” Ricky’s voice eventually cut through her thoughts, and when he turned around to find her already looking at him, he cleared his throat awkwardly, that flush he exhibited around her creeping back into his cheeks.

“Do you always wear glasses?” she asks by way of answer.

“So, that’s a no, then,” Ricky muttered to himself and then sighed, pushing the textbook up the desk and rubbing his eye from under the frames of his glasses, “Yes, I always wear them.”

“They’re not the right frames for your face,” Gina commented, leaning her head onto her hand to get a better look at him, “You would look better without them.”

“Well, unlike some, I don’t wear glasses to look good,” Ricky retorted, his expression deadpanning as he looked at her, “I wear them to see.”

“Contact lenses exist,” Gina points at him, “I wear them. They work just as well, and now people can admire my beautiful eyes.”

She grins cheekily, and Gina swore she could see the uptick of his lips in a small smile, dare she say amusement being found on his expression, before it dropped again, “You’re saying that as if I care if people find me attractive. I don’t.”

“But, you are attractive,” Gina said, matter of fact in manner, and Ricky somehow flushed an even deeper shade. She ignored the tug in her stomach at his adorable bug eyed expression.

“The way you dress currently just doesn’t enhance your features, it hides them,” Gina furthered her thought, “You could have people fawning over you if you tried.”

“I don’t want that,” Ricky scratched his nose, his other hand absently picking at the corner of the textbook, “I don’t want to be like you.”

“What does that mean?” Gina raised her eyebrow, suddenly intrigued by what he had to say. Who didn’t want to be like her? Who didn’t want to be loved by everyone?

“I don’t want to be popular or widely liked or whatever,” Ricky finally made eye contact with her, and he looked like he really wanted her to hear what he was saying, though she didn’t understand why it was so important to him, “You can spend years trying to make sure everyone on the planet loves you, but if the ones who matter the most don’t, then what’s the point? Why bother trying?”

Gina stared at him for a moment, the air charged and tense between them, and she sensed he was alluding to something she didn’t know about. She wanted to ask, to press. It was her nature to try and uncover information about everything and everyone at the school. But something about Ricky’s expression – the hurt and the somberness – made her hold back.

So, instead, she broke into a teasing grin, “I think you just say that because not everyone can be as loved as I am.”

“You got me, that must be it,” Ricky retorted back, though he didn’t seem upset by her pivot in tone – in fact he seemed relieved.

They sat and looked at each other for a moment, and Gina noted to herself that Ricky had eyes that contained multitudes – they always looked like they were searching for something, desperate to find meaning or value in whatever he was looking at. When they had been staring at each other for longer than was probably appropriate, Ricky averted his gaze and looked away, reaching for her algebra textbook again.

“Back to studying,” he said, picking up her pencil and holding it out for her to take.

She didn’t take it, and so Ricky looked back at her in exasperation, and while he was distracted, she lunged forward and snatched his glasses from his nose.

“Hey!” he called out, and floundered around for them – it seemed he really was blind without them, “Give those back! What are you doing?”

“I knew it!” she sang out in a teasing manner, putting his frames behind her back so he couldn’t snatch them back.

“What are you talking about?”

He sounded more annoyed than amused, his hands shooting toward her where he guessed her hands would be holding his glasses, but with his fuzzy vision his hands only gripped her knees.

Gina jumped a little, shocked by the coldness of them, by the roughness in his fingertips, something she wasn’t expecting from the avid studier in front of her. Ricky had also frozen, clearly realizing his mistake, and Gina wondered if his heart was doing a funny skipping thing the way hers was.

Weird. She’d never experienced that before.

She leaned forward, bringing his glasses up and sliding them back onto his face, her fingertips grazing the tips of his cheeks. When his eyes focused again, they flickered down to his hands holding her knees, then back up to her own eyes, before she finally gave him an answer, “You look handsome without the glasses. I knew it.”

His face flushed red, and Gina watched as his throat bobbed while he swallowed hard.

“Are you suggesting that people who wear glasses are ugly?”

“No,” Gina shrugged, “I’m just suggesting you get contacts. Trust me, someone lucky is missing out on you because you’re hiding behind those glasses.”

“Who says I’m looking for someone?” he retaliates, and his hands slide slowly upwards, now resting over her thighs just slightly above her knees, his hands brushing the hem of her cheer skirt.

Suddenly, her thoughts grew hazy, and her heart picked up its pace, and she tried to remember why she was even there with Ricky in the first place.

Nini. The dare.

“Everyone’s looking for someone,” Gina shrugged, not moving so as not to scare him away, and then wondering why she wanted him to stay so close, “I think I know someone who would be perfect for you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ricky raised a brow, and then shifted away finally, clenching his fists before packing away his things into his backpack, “I doubt it. I don’t exactly scream boyfriend material.”

“Where are you going?” Gina asked, suddenly concerned that their tutoring deal was off before she even had a chance to work on him. She didn’t know why the thought suddenly sat funny in her mind.

“We’re clearly accomplishing nothing here,” Ricky shrugged, standing up and handing her his phone, “Put your number in. We can organize to meet up somewhere else next time.”

So, she gave him her number and she watched him walk away and she wondered if maybe it was her desire to be loved by everyone that made her want so desperately for Ricky to shed his frosty attitude toward her, or whether it was something else entirely.

*

Gina doesn’t know why she did it, but she baked for him before he came around. She figured it had to do with her needing to butter him up, to continue putting her plan to give him a makeover in motion. After all, a way to a man's heart was through his stomach, right?

As she adjusted the muffins so they sat perfectly in her hand woven basket – YouTube really came in handy for just about anything crafty – she heard the doorbell sound.

Opening the door wide, she saw Ricky with his usual backpack, and to her surprise, a skateboard in hand.

“You skate?” she asked incredulously, the image before her not aligning with her perception of him.

“Since I was eight, yeah,” he replied, setting the board down beside the door on her front porch, before kicking off his shoes and coming inside, “Nice place.”

“Uh, yeah, thanks,” Gina said, still curiously eyeing his board, before closing the door and leading him to where she’d set up her things along the kitchen table. Now that she was picturing it, skating suited Ricky – with his tendency to not care about how the world perceived him, and his eternally scuffed shoes.

She gestured to her basket when they both sat, “Take a muffin. They’re fresh.”

“Where are they from?” Ricky reached forward to grab a double chocolate chip muffin, a crumb smearing on his algebra course outline.

“I made them myself, just now,” Gina shrugged, watching as his eyes widened slightly in surprise when he took a bite.

“You made them?” Ricky asked, hiding his full mouth behind a hand.

“Why is that so shocking?”

“You didn’t peg me as the baking type. It seems so homey.”

“You didn’t peg me as the skating type,” she retorted, “Not enough IQ needed for it.”

“Skating is actually a technique that can be mastered through mathematics if you want to be technical about it.”

Gina settled a look on him that read she would literally rather be anything else but technical, and Ricky laughed, light and loud. Gina’s heart thumped once in her chest, and she found that she really liked the sound of it. She wanted to hear it again.

“Aren’t you supposed to be teaching me something?” Gina said in response, and Ricky continued to chuckle as he flipped to the page they were up to, and Gina felt somehow warm and chilly all at once.

They sat side by side for a while as Ricky explained concepts Gina had already mastered a term ago, and as Gina pretended to be stumped by equations she could do in a minute flat. After a while, she began to grow bored and decided it was as good a time as any to try and get her plan in motion.

“So, prom is coming up in a couple of months,” Gina tried to bring up casually, tapping her pen against her notebook.

Ricky shot her a confused glance, his eyes searching hers as if he was asking her what her point was. Gina continued, “Have you got yourself a date?”

Ricky’s face became carefully neutral as he considered her question. She noticed his posture getting a little taller, his hands shaking so subtly she wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t leaning so close to her after pointing out some things for her to look at in her textbook, “Why are you asking?”

“God, are you suspicious of everything?” she rolled her eyes, trying to hide the nerves in her voice at the thought that he might be onto her, “I’m just curious.”

Ricky paused for a moment, before turning his eyes back to her page, writing a few corrections on her purposeful mistakes, “No, I don’t have a date. I’m not going to prom.”

“Why not?” Gina is genuinely shocked by that response, because everyone went to prom, even Ricky’s group of friends.

“It’s not my thing. I don’t want to see a bunch of people get drunk off spiked punch and then puke their guts out near the trophy cabinet while I sit around on the bleachers because nobody wants to dance with me.”

“Ricky, have you ever been to a school dance, or are you basing that view solely off movies?” Gina asked incredulously.

“I have no doubt the movies are accurate enough.”

“You have to go to prom, Ricky, it’s your senior year!” Gina insisted, and it was time for her to lay out the bait.

“I don’t have to do anything,” Ricky retorted, pointing at her, “I would argue that the fact that it is my senior year means I should get to do what I like without worrying about conforming to societal norms.”

“You are so pretentious, you know that?” Gina deadpanned, before she turned in her seat and gripped his forearm closest to her with both hands, “You have to go, because I know someone who wants to go with you!”

“What are you talking about?” Ricky scoffed, eyeing her grip on his arm. His sleeves were rolled up, allowing her to feel the goosebumps on his cool skin. He must’ve been cold.

“I mean I just so happen to have exclusive gossip that pertains to you,” Gina grinned, and Ricky looked at her suspiciously.

“Do you really think you should be spreading gossip?”

“Yes, if it gets you to come to the damn prom,” Gina replied, shaking his arm good naturedly, “My friend Nini has a massive crush on you. She would totally say yes if you asked her to go with you.”

“Nini? The girl who just broke up with her ex like five days ago?” Ricky asked, looking surprised at the information.

“She moves on quickly, but she’s so sweet. You’d love her,” Gina insisted, unsure why she felt an uncomfortable churning in her system.

Ricky’s face had morphed into one of perfect indifference, and Gina was once again annoyed by how hard it was to get a read on him. His eyes shifted to her hands still holding his arm, then to the pencil he was fidgeting with in his hands, “I don’t like her like that, though. I’d be stringing her along. Also, I’m sure she’s very nice, but I hardly think I’m her type. I’m sure she’ll move on.”

“You don’t even know her. You’d both get on really well, I know it,” Gina insisted, and then she grabbed her phone and shot him a text, “I just sent the details to a party I’ve been invited to this weekend. You can say you’re my plus one. You should come and hang out with Nini, I promise you you’ll have a good time.”

“I just told you parties aren’t my scene,” Ricky blanched at the address lighting up his screen, and Gina had to repress the giggles that threatened to spill from her lips at the adorable sight.

“You’ve never even been to one. How do you know if they aren’t?”

“The music is so loud.”

“What are you, my 80 year old grandmother?” Gina shook her head in amazement at his avoidance tactics, “Ricky, please come. You’ll have a good time, and it’ll mean I can make Nini happy. She’s my friend, so… do it for me?”

It was a long shot, using a personal plea to try and sway him, but something within her told her he would cave if she made it about her, even just a little. And she was right for thinking it when he stopped fidgeting, his eyes flickering up to catch her gaze, before he sighed and slumped into his seat, his shoulders hunching up to his ears as he said, “I wouldn’t even know what to wear.”

Hook, line and sinker.

“That’s the easy part,” Gina grinned, thrumming her fingers against the table, already buzzing with excitement at the prospect of finally starting his makeover, “I’m taking you shopping tomorrow after school.”

“Oh… great…” Ricky mumbled in response, but as she cleaned up their dirty plates, she saw from the corner of her eye Ricky input into his phone calendar shopping with gi with a sun emoji beside it. Her heart felt like it had shifted its orbit closer to the fiery star itself, warmth filling her from the inside out.

*

“This is actually a bad idea. We should just leave.”

Ricky was looking exceedingly uncomfortable in the entrance of the store, and Gina rolled her eyes, grabbing his wrist and tugging him in, “Ricky, it’s a thrift store. No one’s going to judge you.”

He shifted their grip so he was now holding her hand, his palm sliding against hers as he tugged her back. She didn’t know why she felt warm after being pulled so close to him, but she swallowed thickly and watched his mouth as he spoke, “I don’t understand why we have to buy new clothes at all. Why can’t you just pick something from my wardrobe to wear?”

Gina’s eyes shot to Ricky’s, an unimpressed look on her face, “And how exactly do you expect me to style the one pair of jeans you own?”

“I own more than one pair!”

“And now you’ll own several,” Gina smiled sweetly, before tugging at their connected hands and pulling him over to the shirt section of the store.

Gina started flipping through the clothes racks, eyeing the colors and styles methodically and pulling out a few. She could see from the corner of her eye Ricky loitering awkwardly beside her, but she was in the shopping zone, ready to give the boy beside her the makeover of his life.

“I think a nice polo would work,” Gina held it up to him, the clothes hanger poking into the underside of his chin a little, and Ricky looked uncomfortable at best, “What? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want something that’s going to be tight around my neck,” Ricky said.

“God, you are more picky than me,” Gina rolled her eyes, before putting the shirt back and muttering to herself, “Button ups then.”

After picking up a few shirts, they shifted over to the other items of clothing, Gina picking out a few pairs of pants, a dressier jacket, and some jewelry. Ricky protested at every stop for Gina’s initial picks, so they both had to compromise with the style, but if she was being honest, the items of clothing they did pick out were pretty fashionable, while still having a distinctly Ricky flair to it.

“Okay, to the changing rooms!” Gina announced.

“We have to try all of this on?” Ricky blanched.

“Of course, we have to see if it all fits and if it actually looks good on you,” she drawled out disbelievingly, “Have you literally ever been shopping before?”

“Gina, I wear the same denim jacket every day of my life.”

“Touché,” she commented, before she started heading toward the change rooms, “I need to see the vision all together. If this works out, Nini is going to be all over you.”

“Why exactly are you doing this for Nini again?” Ricky asked skeptically as Gina hung the items by category in their chosen change room.

“Because she’s my friend, and I want her to be happy,” Gina replied nonchalantly, hoping she didn’t sound too blasé. She pointedly avoided looking at him, but it seemed he had a read of her even without direct eye contact.

“Yeah, I don’t buy that,” Ricky replied, and Gina turned around to make eye contact, raising her eyebrows in defiance. Ricky tilted his head, his eyes flickering over her as if trying to figure her out, as if she was one of his equations he could solve, “You’re getting something from this. What is it?”

Gina was shocked by how easily he saw through her, normally a master at hiding what she really wanted from people to get her way. She pulled her bottom lip in with her teeth, wondering how she was going to keep her cool, but felt exponentially more heated when Ricky took a seemingly unconscious step forward, his eyes settling on her mouth with her action.

Clearing her throat, she turned around and hastily picked up a red button up and blue jeans, shoving them into his chest, “Try this outfit first. And wear the rings we picked out. And the silver chain.”

“Yes ma’am,” Ricky replied softly, sending an unusual thrill through Gina as he watched her walk out of the change room and shut the curtain behind her.

As she slumped onto the stool situated just beside the change room, she took a deep breath, wondering why Ricky Bowen of all people, the least assuming person in the whole school, was making her feel winded with a single look. His dorky glasses were angled slightly off, and normally Gina would snigger at something like that, but all she wanted to do was reach forward and adjust them, push that curl falling into his eyes back.

Eventually, the curtain opened back up and Ricky stepped out, still looking slightly uncomfortable, but also almost a little impressed by the way the outfit turned out.

Gina wasn’t one to deny someone credit where credit was due. She did well – he looked hot . The rings glinted on his fingers tantalizingly, the jeans were properly fitted as opposed to the baggy ones he always wore, and the chain settled over his collarbones in a way that made it difficult not to stare.

She stood up, reaching forward and unbuttoning the first five buttons on his shirt, “No one wears a button up fully buttoned, Ricky.”

Her fingers brushed against the skin on his chest as she slowly unbuttoned, only feeling a blush form on her cheeks when she realized what exactly she was doing, when she saw redness flushing up his chest, when she saw Ricky’s jaw drop ever so slightly before he picked it back up again. She kept her hands gripping on his shirt when she’d finished, her knuckles pressing into the fabric of his vest at his sternum.

In a slightly wobbly voice, Ricky said, “How was I supposed to know that?”

“Everyone knows that,” Gina replied, looking at her handiwork again, “This is a good outfit.”

“Excellent for a date night for you two!”

Ricky and Gina whipped their heads to the side to see a shop assistant smiling over at them, waiting expectantly for their answer. Ricky started to stutter out a denial, but Gina figured the quickest way to get rid of her was just to agree, so she flattened her hands over his chest and ran them down to his abdomen, leaning into him and settling the side of her head on his collarbone as she smiled sweetly to the worker, “Thank you! I had to up my boyfriend’s fashion game somehow.”

“You did a great job, love,” the older lady grinned excitedly, “You two are adorable. I hope you buy all those clothes! I think they’ll suit you, son.”

“Y-Yeah,” Ricky continued to stutter, and when Gina lifted her head to look at him, she saw him already staring, wide eyed and flushing furiously, “Anything she says goes.”

“Good man,” the lady chuckled, before heading away, “I’ll meet you two at the counter!”

As soon as she was out of earshot, Ricky whispered rapidly, “Why did you do that?”

“Relax, I was just proving to you what can happen if you actually dress well,” Gina clutched the fabric at his abdomen just slightly before letting go, albeit reluctantly, “That woman mistook you for my boyfriend, and I’m like one of the prettiest girls in school.”

“The humblest too,” Ricky muttered in deadpan.

“Can you stop being a surly prick for two seconds and acknowledge this?” Gina rolled her eyes, gesturing to his outfit, “You look good. If my boyfriend dressed like this, I would be happy.”

Ricky paused for a second, his eyes boring into hers, and Gina started to shift from foot to foot as he responded, “You would date someone who dressed like this?”

“Yes,” Gina replied immediately, but she felt like there was some deeper meaning to his question, so she changed the subject, not wanting to delve into the weird buzzing sensation she felt just beneath her skin, “Now, hurry up and check to see if the rest of the clothes fit. I’m buying.”

Before Ricky could protest, she walked out of the change room, needing fresh air. Something about the proximity between them was sending her for a loop.

As they went their separate ways, Gina picked out an outfit for the party on the weekend, thinking he probably wouldn’t bother wearing anything new until then.

She almost dropped her books when Ricky walked into school the next day in the red button up.

*

Gina was doing the rounds, greeting important people from each of the school’s cliques, when she spotted him in the front doorway.

The random jock’s house the party was taking place in was thumping with music, a group of people rowdy and laughing around a keg stand out back, and a couple making out against the doorframe of the main foyer. Ricky stood amidst it all looking extremely uncomfortable, and Gina found herself making a beeline toward him immediately.

She stopped short right in front of him, noticing exactly what he was wearing. It was the outfit she had planned out with him, but somehow seeing it in person made her heart thump wildly in her chest. She didn’t know why – it was just a simple satin shirt and cream pants, the shirt unbuttoned the way she had taught him. Then, it clicked in her mind what was different.

“Where are your glasses?” she blurted out by way of greeting, half expecting him to blindly grope around to be able to stand upright.

But, he looked right at her, surprised to hear her voice out of nowhere, and looking slightly relieved at her presence, when he replied, “At home. I’m wearing contacts.”

“I thought you didn’t have contacts.”

“I don’t wear contacts. Much. But I do have them. My dad likes me to wear them when I do open mic nights so he can see my face.”

“You play at open mic nights?” Gina felt ridiculous repeating what he had just said, but it seemed that every time she interacted with Ricky he revealed an aspect of himself that was more fascinating than the last.

“Yeah, I-I write music and play guitar and stuff,” Ricky stuttered, looking away from her and wringing his hands awkwardly.

Gina wanted to ask more about it, but Nini stumbled up to her, already slightly tipsy and looking appreciatively at Ricky, before shooting Gina a look that read Who is this? Gina restrained herself from rolling her eyes when the shorter brunette loudly spoke up, “Gina, hi!”

“Ricky, this is Nini,” Gina gestured to her friend, cringing a little at him having caught her maybe a few too many drinks in.

“Ricky!” Nini exclaimed, and Gina was glad she hadn’t said something like Nice to meet you so she could keep up the ruse. Then, Nini stumbled forward a little and landed in Ricky’s arms, his hands coming up quickly to clutch at her elbows. Gina felt a weird tugging pull at her stomach and it made her slightly nauseous as she watched Nini grin up at Ricky and speak, “Hi there.”

“I’ll leave you two to it then,” Gina said, and she tried not to sound too short and snippy. She didn’t even know why she suddenly felt so annoyed by the sight of them.

She made her exit and sped toward the kitchen, needing to find herself a drink fast to rid herself of the weird sensation that was sloshing around in her. Once she loosened up a bit, she would be fine.

She opened the refrigerator and pulled out the first cocktail drink she could find, snapping open the can and taking a long drink, before she turned around and almost jumped back into the cold door behind her.

“Ricky!” she yelped, not expecting to see him so close to her, “Where’s Nini?”

“She saw a friend and ran off. She did try to get me to come with, but I don’t know her friend,” Ricky shrugged, his hands stuffed in his pants pockets.

“Ricky, the whole point of this party was to get you to hit it off with Nini,” Gina stepped forward and poked her finger into his chest.

“She was insanely drunk, I doubt she’ll remember a single interaction we had tonight,” Ricky deadpanned, before his eyes flickered to her finger still pressed into his chest, “I’d rather spend my time with you.”

Gina felt her stomach drop from beneath her, and she opened and closed her mouth for a few moments, unsure why the statement had impacted her so much. Being a cheerleader, she had plenty of attention from people. But, somehow, Ricky expressing that he wanted to spend time with her made her feel out of sorts. It didn’t seem like he had an agenda, a power play into popularity – he was simply standing there, waiting for her to respond, hands in his pockets, letting her stab her finger painfully into his chest.

“Then…” Gina started, tilted her face to catch Ricky’s eye again, “You want a drink?”

“Uh…” Ricky hesitated, “I have a math test to study for tomorrow. I don’t really want to get a hangover.”

“Suit yourself,” Gina shrugged, taking another sip of her pink drink, “I didn’t think you were a chicken though.”

Ricky narrowed his eyes, “Are you trying to goad me into drinking?”

“Parties are more fun when you drink,” Gina grinned stupidly, while blinking innocently.

“Remember when you said high school parties weren’t anything like the movies?”

“I said high school prom wasn’t anything like the movies,” Gina corrected him, leaning toward him slightly, her can of drink pressing into his sternum, and lowering her voice to a teasing whisper, “I never said anything about parties.”

“I’m not drinking,” Ricky put his hands on her shoulders, leaning into her as well with a defiant look in his eyes, but she could see a sparkle of amusement at her goading in them as well.

“Not even if I batted my eyelashes all pretty?” Gina did as she said, and Ricky laughed under his breath, the draft of it warm across her nose and cheeks.

“Well, how can I say no to that?”

“Hah! No take backs!” Gina pulled away and grabbed the two nearest shots, and Ricky guffawed behind her.

“I was joking!”

“Too late now,” Gina replied, turning around with a wicked grin, “You’re probably going to get 100 per cent on that test regardless of if you study or not. But, when have you ever said that you had shots with Gina Porter?”

“Ah yes, the local Salt Lake City celebrity,” Ricky teased her, then shook his head, “It’s not a good idea, I don’t want to get drunk and then embarrass myself in front of people who already think I’m a loser.”

“Everyone else is already drunk as hell,” Gina pointed out, feeling a little put out by the fact that there were people around who would view Ricky like that, who would be raising their eyebrows over the fact that Gina was even associating with him at all. She swallowed the icky feeling down, “They won’t even notice you.”

Then, she raised the shot glass to his face, pressing it against his lips with her own shot glass against hers. Her fingers were cool against the chapped skin of his lips, and Gina could see his thick swallow along the line of his throat as he watched her in total stillness.

She whispered, “Bottom’s up.”

Then, she tilted their glasses back as they both downed their drinks. Ricky spluttered a little, not used to the burning sensation of liqueur, but kept relatively cool for someone who hadn’t drunk before. The liquid of the drink glistened slightly on his lips, and Gina had half a mind to brush it away before he darted his tongue out to catch the residue.

She was embarrassed to admit that she stared for a moment longer than was really necessary, her tongue running dry, before his voice broke her thoughts, “That…was not as bad as I thought.”

“See!” Gina grinned, slapping his chest lightly, and as she went to pull away, Ricky’s hand loosely wrapped around her wrist to keep her hand there. She could feel the steady thump of his heart at her fingertips, and she wondered if he was feeling that strange buzzing under his skin the way she was.

“Another?” Ricky asked, and Gina’s jaw dropped slightly, surprised at the offer.

“Who are you and what have you done with Ricky Bowen?” she teased.

“He’s right here. He just met this crazy girl who makes him do crazy things, like wear contacts for the first time in months and drink shots at a house party.”

His hold on her wrist slowly slid down her forearm, his fingers trailing along her skin leaving goosebumps along her skin. Never one to be outdone, Gina decided to be even bolder. She took a step forward into him, so they were practically chest to chest, nose to nose, and Ricky’s breath hitched in his throat as he watched her inch closer, not touching but a fraction apart from it, before she leaned behind him to snatch up two more shots, stepping back from him and holding them between the two of them, grinning wickedly at his wide eyed expression.

The buzz of the initial shot was now warmly thrumming through her, and she figured it added to her boldness, but the same could be said for Ricky as he stepped forward and snatched her shot glass, saying, “My turn.”

He took another step toward her, using his free hand to hold her chin and tilt her face upwards, his thumb pressing below her bottom lip to encourage her to open her mouth, before he poured her drink for her. Her mind was running a million miles per hour, and after she swallowed her drink and watched him take his own shot, she managed to breathe out with her chest heaving just slightly, “Where did you learn a move like that?”

“The movies,” Ricky replied cheekily, and Gina felt her own grin creep up on her face, her cheeks feeling blazing hot. Ricky kept speaking, now looking incredibly shy, “This would be the part in the movie where the guy asked the girl to dance.”

Gina’s mind scratched to a stop like a faulty record, and she thought back to the fact that Ricky was worried people would judge him, and she realized that more than anything, she was worried people would judge her .

She liked Ricky. A lot . If anything, the last week had proven to her that spending time with someone who wasn’t as popularity focused as the majority of her friends was refreshing. She felt like she could be herself.

But, that didn’t mean she didn’t still care about her reputation. She couldn’t help hesitating – there in the kitchen they were relatively sheltered from prying eyes. If she went to dance with Ricky, she knew people would see the, and would talk, and would question, and she would have to spin a story as to why it was okay for her to be associating with someone in a much lower social circle than hers. Everything about Ricky was just so easy, but the way people would react around her was not.

So, she kept hesitating. And she watched Ricky get antsy under her conflicted gaze. And she watched as he began to frown at her lack of answer. And she watched as he went to open his mouth to say something.

She interrupted before he could get a word out, “You should find Nini and dance with her. She would love that.”

She cringed at how small and scared her voice sounded. She couldn’t believe how much of a slave she was to the opinions of others, and she knew immediately that she had made a mistake saying it when he frowned harshly, a hurt expression flashing across his face.

“You don’t want to dance with me?” he asked, taking a step back and crossing his arms.

“No, I do, but–”

“But, you’re embarrassed of me, then,” Ricky finished her thought, and Gina shook her head vigorously.

“No, that’s not it!”

“What is it, then?”

Gina stared at Ricky, trying to articulate why she was hesitating without sounding like a total asshole, but nothing was coming out, and the longer she stared at him, the more annoyed his face grew.

“That’s what I thought,” Ricky muttered, running a hand through his curls roughly, “God, and I actually thought you were different than all the rest of the cheerleaders. I was so pleasantly surprised by how nice and accepting you were. That’s my bad, I should have known better.”

“Ricky–”

But, he had walked away before she could get a defense in, and Gina felt her stomach churn, the nauseating feeling enhanced in the worst way by the alcohol she had consumed. She felt green with sickness for the rest of the night, trying her best to behave normally, but knowing she had put on a less than stellar act.

*

Fidgeting with her pens felt like a full time job for her next tutoring session with Ricky, and she wanted nothing more than to yell at him to talk to her about anything other than algebra, but he was determined to only speak in terms of equations to her.

They sat on her living room floor, and Ricky wouldn’t even look at her, simply staring at her textbook and pointing to whatever part he was explaining in a monotonous tone that she hadn’t heard from him since their first study session together.

She supposed she should have been grateful that he had even come to their next tutoring session in the first place. If it were her in his position, she definitely would’ve ghosted him. But, he was loyal to a tee, and if he had promised something, he was going to keep his promise. It was something so endearing to Gina, and something that was making her even more miserable when she thought about how she had hurt him.

Ricky seemed out of it too, stumbling over his explanations, and overall seeming restless – blue smudges under his eyes indicating he hadn’t been sleeping very well. Gina felt awful being the cause of his misery, and she wished she knew how she could make it up to him.

“So, in this case x is equal to two,” Ricky murmured, finishing his explanation.

In her haze of spinning thoughts, Gina noted that he had made a mistake, and absentmindedly corrected him, “X should be one half in this equation. We’re dividing, not multiplying.”

Ricky paused, and looked over his work. Then, he said slowly, “You’re right. How did you know that?”

Gina froze, realizing her mistake too late, and she made a lame attempt at covering it up, “I’ve been paying attention…?”

She never was any good at improv.

“Have you been lying to me about failing math?” Ricky asked, his brows furrowing harshly.

Gina didn’t say anything, cringing into her seat, and her reaction was evidence enough for Ricky as he burst out, “I can’t believe this! I knew it was weird that I didn’t know you were struggling in math. Mr Pikelny always tells me about the students who are failing so I can reach out to them and help them, and he’d never once mentioned your name. Why would you lie about that?”

“Ricky, I can explain,” Gina started, but Ricky was in too much of a frazzled state to properly listen to her.

His voice rose as he rapidly talked, “What do you want from me, Gina? You lie to get me to tutor you, tell me your friend has a crush on me and then proceed to flirt like crazy with me yourself, leaving me confused as hell, and just when I think maybe you did all this because you liked me or something, you refuse to be seen with me in public. So, tell me, because I’d love to know, what do you want from me? ”

“I do like you!” she yelled back, her face flushing at the implication, but she soldiered forward, not letting him speak over her before she could say her piece, “Spending time with you has been the best time of my life in a long time. You’re funny and honest, and you actually seem to want to be with me for me rather than because I’m the head cheerleader. I just – it’s hard for me to let go of that popularity when it’s been what’s made me me for the last five years of my life. I thrive off of it, and getting closer with you is scary because it’s the exact antithesis of everything I’ve been working towards for years.”

She didn’t realize she had started crying until she felt a droplet of water hit the back of her hand from where it rested on her lap. She furiously wiped at them, not wanting Ricky to think she was crying because she wanted his sympathy. She hadn’t realized just how emotionally invested she had become to the idea of the boy across from her being in her life.

Gina braved glancing up at Ricky, and saw his hard eyes had softened slightly, though he was still tense. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before looking back up at her and asking, “Why did you lie in the first place?”

Gina hesitated in telling him, but she cracked under his curious gaze, probing in a gentle way.

“Well, I made a bet with my friends that Nini would fall in love with anyone who paid attention to her and you were kind of caught in the crossfire…” Gina winced at the explanation, realizing how bad it really sounded, “They thought it wouldn’t happen because you were too dorky looking.”

Ricky raised his eyebrows, an unimpressed look in his eyes, and Gina rushed to backpedal, “In an adorable way! But, I didn’t agree with them anyway. I knew you could look good if you tried.”

“...That’s why you were so desperate to take me shopping,” Ricky belatedly realized.

“Yes,” Gina winced again.

She waited for his response, knowing that he had every right to walk out and never speak to her again if that was what he wanted. She half expected another berating, but instead, she heard chuckles tumble from Ricky’s lips.

Her head sprung up, mouth dropping slightly at the sound of his laughter, and he began to clutch his stomach as his laughter peeled out of him.

Through his laughter, he managed to stammer out, “So, you’re telling me that you pretended to be dumb at math just so you could prove to your friends that a nerd like me could be hot if I tried?”

“Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid,” Gina pouted, unsure whether to feel hurt by his laughter.

“It is stupid,” Ricky continued to laugh, now opening his eyes and grinning right at her, and something cracked in her at the sight of him smiling at her again, so her own grin inched its way onto her face and she started laughing alongside him.

“Cheerleaders are a whole other breed, because how did you guys even come up with a bet like that?” Ricky shook his head when their laughter died down.

“Okay, no need to whack the cheerleaders when you literally insert math into your skating techniques,” Gina quipped back, glad they were settling back into their usual banter.

“I told you, skating is literally a science,” Ricky countered, closing up the textbooks that were clearly no longer needed, “I should tutor you in skating instead, and then you’ll see.”

“I’ll take you up on that offer,” Gina felt her tummy flip at the thought that maybe they were okay enough to keep hanging out, even after she made the stupidest decision of her life in rejecting his company before.

“Fine, next tutoring session is at the local skatepark,” Ricky turned to smile at her, “Bring knee pads.”

“Does…does this mean you forgive me?” Gina asked tentatively.

Ricky paused, his face becoming serious for a moment, “I’ll only forgive you if you promise you won’t be ashamed of me, Gi. I won’t be your secret friend. I’ll be in your life fully or not at all.”

“Okay,” Gina nodded, feeling exceedingly nervous, but realizing her attachment to Ricky was too deep to sever, “I promise. All in.”

Ricky smiled that sweet smile she had missed so much in the days they weren’t speaking, and he said to her, “One more condition – you let me pick the show we’re about to watch together since we clearly don’t need to study, and you’re not going to complain if it’s Star Wars related.”

“God, you are such a nerd,” Gina threw her head back, letting it hit the soft surface of the couch behind her.

“You love it,” Ricky shrugged, and Gina couldn’t help the warmth stirring within her at the words.

She simply smiled at him and let him flick over to Disney+ to start some TV series she would’ve had no interest watching otherwise, but she allowed him to commentate over his favorite scenes, and she tried her best to memorize the characters’ names so she could talk about it with him, and she hoped he didn’t mind too terribly when she rested her head on his shoulder and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

Star Wars was never her thing, but she was starting to realize that maybe someone like Ricky Bowen was.

*

“Gina, we’re all thinking of going to the diner to stare at the burgers we can’t eat while the season is in progress and weep,” Kourtney pulled up beside her after school, gesturing to Ashlyn, Maddox and Nini who were chatting behind them, “Do you want to come?”

“I can’t this afternoon, sorry Kourt,” Gina smiled sympathetically, and Kourtney frowned.

“This is the third afternoon in a row you haven’t hung out with us. Not that it’s a problem, but what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Gina shook her head, hoping the nerves she felt didn’t leak into her voice, “I’ve just been really busy.”

She wasn’t exactly hiding her friendship with Ricky anymore – she was talking with him in the school hallways, and she was answering his texts for anyone to see – but no one had exactly clocked that they were more than just study buddies yet. She didn’t want her friends to make a big deal out of something she was so unsure of herself, so she just omitted the fact that she had been meeting up with him so regularly outside of school, and for reasons other than academics.

Before Kourtney could question her further she sped up, walking out the door and calling over her shoulder, “FaceTime you tonight! Love you!”

Kourtney looked mildly suspicious by her behavior, but Gina didn’t let herself dwell on it as she power walked to the local skatepark, thrumming with excitement for her third lesson. She was doing terribly, but the fun part was hardly the skating. It had more to do with the curly haired tutor she was skating with.

When she arrived, she spotted Ricky doing some minor tricks on his board while waiting for her and she slowed a little just to admire him. She considered herself athletic – it came with being a cheerleader. You needed a certain kind of muscle for all those lifts and jumps. But, there was a certain kind of athleticism that came with skating that she was quickly realizing was hard to learn. Ricky just had it, and she loved to watch.

Eventually, he spotted her and waved her over, a huge grin on his face, “Hey! You hadn’t responded to my text so I wasn’t sure if you were coming.”

“Mind you, I fell asleep,” Gina grinned back at him, “Remind me not to text you until 3:00AM in the morning when I have a history test the next day. I could barely stay awake.”

“I could say the same to you,” Ricky replied, “If I drop from an A+ to a regular A in physics I’m blaming you.”

“God forbid you drop below A+,” Gina teased, snatching the skateboard from his hands and turning around, laughing at his protests.

She shakily tried to step onto the skateboard, trying to remember the methods Ricky had taught her using his ridiculous physics terminology, but she still wobbled slightly standing on it. She felt Ricky’s hands shoot out from behind her and settle on her waist, keeping her steady.

He talked in a low voice beside her ear, and Gina tried not to make it too obvious how much she enjoyed his presence behind her as he said, “I got you. Remember your stance.”

“I don’t feel like I’m getting any better at this,” Gina said shakily, and Ricky circled around to stand in front of her, shifting one of his hands from her waist to grip her own, interlocking their fingers between them.

“You are,” Ricky insisted in an oddly pitched tone, indicating he wasn’t entirely convinced himself, “You haven’t fallen over at all today. That’s better than yesterday.”

“It’s only one minute in, give it some time.”

Ricky helped roll her around the skatepark for a few minutes, before Gina attempted a few push offs herself, which ultimately ended in her nose diving onto the grass beside the concrete. Ricky tried his best not to laugh at her as he plonked beside her, and Gina slapped his chest good naturedly.

They both stared up at the blue sky for a few moments, relishing in each other’s closeness, shoulders pressed together, and Ricky’s fingers brushing against her forearm as he pulled out strands of grass and dandelions.

“I think Kourtney is wondering what I’ve been up to this week,” Gina eventually spoke up, feeling like he deserved to hear her thoughts on this.

Ricky tensed up slightly beside her, asking his next question carefully, “You still haven’t told them?”

“I want to, and I heard what you said,” Gina sat up to look at Ricky properly, who looked so pretty under the soft sunlight where he looked up at her, eyelashes fluttering as the breeze tousled his hair over his forehead, “I don’t want to hide you away. I’m just – I’m scared of their reaction.”

“Why?” Ricky asked, propping himself up on his elbows, “They’re your friends, aren’t they?”

“Yes, but it’s not about them, not really,” Gina dropped her gaze to her lap, fiddling with her fingers as was a habit of hers, “I couldn’t care less what they think of us. But…if for some reason people decide us being friends is not okay, that would mean I fall from popularity, and that would mean I’m no longer the best. I can’t be the best if I’m not loved by everyone.”

“Why do you have to be the best?”

“That’s what mom always said. If you’re not the best, you might as well give up,” Gina shrugged. Ricky tilted his head slightly, insisting she keep talking, and for reasons she didn’t think she’d ever be able to define, she felt comfortable enough to spill her deepest fear to the boy beside her, “I guess I just thought if I could be loved by everyone else, maybe my mom would see that I’m worth loving. Maybe she’d stick around for more than a few days at a time before jetting off to some other place.”

“Where does she go?”

“Work trips. She works for FEMA, and natural disasters don’t stop for a daughter who just wants to be noticed by her mom.”

Ricky reached forward and brushed his fingers over the top of her hand, before committing and tangling their fingers together, stroking his thumb over her knuckles in a comforting gesture. Gina smiled warmly at him, albeit sadly, and Ricky asked her, “Has it worked? Has the popularity filled the hole that your mom leaves?”

“No,” Gina shook her head sadly, “The only thing she cares about is when my grades drop below an A.”

“Well, I know what that’s like,” Ricky commented, sighing for a moment before looking out to the skatepark, “My mom was never the most attentive either. Before she left us – my dad and me – I used to think being at the top of the class all the time would give her something to be proud of, and would give her a reason to acknowledge me and my effort. But, she would’ve had to have been home to do that, so I don’t know why I even bothered to be honest. The studying kind of stuck though. It gave me something else other than my thoughts to focus on.”

Gina realized in that moment why Ricky was so against the popularity thing, why he had told her in their first tutoring session that being well liked didn't matter if the people who mattered to him didn't care. He was like her - stuck wishing his mother cared about him, but ultimately having to be the one to care for himself instead. The only difference was the way they reacted to it - Gina had thrived to be someone everyone liked, while Ricky decided it wasn't worth it being liked by anyone. But, at the base level, their coping mechanisms stemmed from the same inherent issue.

“That’s exactly how I feel about cheer,” Gina nodded along, “It occupies my brain, it helps me think about something clear and formulaic.”

“Maybe math and cheer have more in common than they seem at the surface level,” Ricky pondered, squeezing his hand holding onto hers.

“Just like us,” Gina nudged her shoulder against his, “Who would’ve thought we both had absentee mothers.”

“Maybe that’s why I can get such an easy read on you,” Ricky nudged his shoulder back, “We’re the same.”

“I have a hard time reading you,” Gina frowned.

“No, you don’t,” Ricky shook his head, leaning in a little closer to her, “I think you have a pretty good read on me actually.”

“How so?”

“I think the fact that you subconsciously leaned closer to me when I got closer first is a pretty good indicator, Gi,” he whispered, and Gina realized that he was right – they had somehow met in the middle, noses just barely brushing.

“I guess I have a few ideas as to what you’re thinking,” Gina whispered back as she watched Ricky’s eyes flicker down to her lips, and she leaned even further in, the tip of her nose pressing into the bridge of his.

“For what it’s worth,” Ricky spoke quietly, only for her to hear, as he brought his free hand up to her shoulder, brushing the skin of Gina’s collarbone with his thumb, “I think popular or not, you’d still be the most captivating girl in the whole school.”

“I am a local Salt Lake City celebrity after all,” Gina teased, though her insides had turned to mush at his words, and her own free hand found its way to his chest as she smoothed it over one of the satin shirts they had bought together.

Ricky laughed breathily, shaking his head at her silliness, before they both leant in together, lips almost slotting against each other’s, electricity buzzing between them, heart pounding in Gina’s chest, and she had half a mind to clutch his shirt and smash her lips onto his before his phone chimed loudly and they sprang apart in surprise.

Ricky stared at her for a moment longer, his chest heaving in suspense and his eyes flickering from her eyes to her lips, until Gina cleared her throat and croaked out, “Ricky, your phone.”

“Right,” Ricky jumped to grab it, reading the Caller ID, “It’s my dad… Shoot! I forgot I was supposed to help him with his truck today. Gina, I’m so sorry, I have to go.”

“It’s okay,” Gina shook her head, smiling at him, still feeling shaken up over what had happened, “Go help your dad.”

Ricky hesitated before he got up, deciding first to touch her arm, his fingers trailing down to her elbow as a way of saying goodbye. Then, he was off, and Gina slumped into herself, pure adrenalin pumping through her veins, her arm and lips tingling with lost proximity.

Then, the worst thing that could have possibly happened in that moment.

“Okay, you need to explain what’s going on here, because huh ?”

Gina heard Kourtney’s voice sound from behind her, and she whipped around to see her and the rest of her group, all sporting startled and confused looks on their faces.

“How long have you all been standing there?” Gina asked, feeling a sense of panic rise in her.

“Are you dating Ricky Bowen?” Ashlyn spluttered out, beating everyone else to the punch.

“What – no , I’m not dating Ricky!”

“Then, why did it look like you guys were two seconds away from jumping each other?” Maddox asked, never one to beat around the bush, “I’ve never seen two people look more desperate to kiss in my life, and I’m a self proclaimed cinephile.”

“W-we were not!” Gina stuttered, trying to look around for help, but only receiving silence from her friends who didn’t buy it for a second.

“I thought I had a shot with him,” Nini muttered, and Kourtney rolled her eyes at her before asking a follow up question.

“Is he who you’re meeting up with all the time? Whatever happened to the five of us dating someone from the football team this year?”

“I don’t want to do that anymore,” Gina shook her head, feeling deep within her that she didn’t need to go searching any further to find the one who understood the way she had been longing to be understood and seen all her life.

“But, we had a plan,” Ashlyn insisted, “Are you just going to bail on your best friends because of some guy?”

“I really thought he was into me,” Nini spoke up again, ever unrelated to anything anyone was talking about.

“I’m not Little Miss Perfect! I’m sorry I can’t stick to my word 100 per cent of the time,” Gina blew up to her friends, “This is why I didn’t tell you guys, because I knew you’d make a huge deal out of this, even though it makes me happy and it’s what I want!”

“So, you’re saying you want Ricky?” Maddox interjected, and Gina flushed, unsure how to answer the question.

So, instead, she did what she was best at doing – avoided the topic. That time, it was by blowing up, “I don’t have to explain myself to any of you! I’m out of here.”

Gina marched off, despite her friend’s pleas for her to come back so they could talk, and she felt a relief come off her chest at finally being open about her friendship (whatever-ship) with Ricky.

But along with the relief came dread over how her friends would perceive her after her outburst and after she stuck up for arguably the most ignored figure in the entire school populace.

That was another day’s problem.

*

Her mug heated her chilly hands as Gina stared at the carpet, mulling over everything that had happened a week ago.

She had been avoiding school, avoiding her friends and avoiding Ricky, not showing up to class, pretending she was sick when her teachers emailed her and turning her phone on airplane mode so she wouldn’t be tempted to reply to any texts. The only issue was, there wasn’t a whole lot to do when you had no phone, so she found herself watching reruns of old TV shows on cable and staring out the window and at other various household objects lost in her thoughts to pass the time.

She wanted to talk to her friends, to apologize for blowing up at them, but she didn’t even know what to say. They all thought Gina had feelings for Ricky, and she couldn’t even name what those feelings were. For once in her life, she had no fear whatsoever about what people would think of her when they saw her with someone like Ricky, and it was so liberating.

But at the same time, she was terrified. She hadn’t let herself fall for anyone for the exact reason that it was hard to maintain a controlled image when you were in deep emotionally. She wasn’t even sure if what she was feeling for Ricky was gratefulness at his attentiveness or something more.

They had almost kissed, and she had wanted so desperately to do it, but could it have been a heat in the moment thing? Could she be reading into his actions too much? He said she read him well, but Gina had been closed off and reserved all her life, so how did she know if what she was perceiving wasn’t just what she wanted to see?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door, and Gina tightened her robe over her crop top and fluffy lounge shorts and shuffled her way to it, opening it a crack to see who was there.

To her surprise, Ricky stood in front of her, holding some kind of basket in both hands. Gina had half a mind to close the door in his face, not ready to talk to him while her thoughts were so muddled, but seemingly sensing her hesitation, Ricky stepped forward into the house, using his shoulder to push open the door a little further.

“Mr Pikelny said you were away sick, so I came bearing gifts,” Ricky lifted the basket into her line of sight before dropping it, “But, I kind of didn’t believe him for a second. What’s going on? Why have you been ignoring my calls?”

Gina awkwardly scratched her palm, and she took a few moments before she replied, “My phone has been off.”

She could see he wanted to press further on the topic, so she quickly said, “What did you bring me?”

Ricky shot her an unimpressed look at her changing the subject, but he conceded and placed the basket on the coffee table, settling cross legged beside it with Gina following.

“I put this together under the assumption that you were sick, so bear that in mind,” Ricky turned to her and flicked her nose gently, a gesture that was surprising, but immediately sent a rush of warmth through her. She couldn’t help the pathetic giggle that tumbled from her mouth, and she realized how sorely she had missed seeing him so regularly when he grinned at the sound, “So, inside we have…”

He started pulling out objects, “Chicken soup bought at the local diner, ginger tea, a heat pack, a DVD of the extended version of High School Musical 2 and…”

He hesitated at the last one, and Gina, already brimming full with warmth over his thoughtfulness, nudged his shoulder and prodded him on, “And…?”

“And that’s it,” Ricky eventually said, pushing the basket behind him.

Gina raised her eyebrow, “Real smooth.”

“You avoid talking about what’s going on with you, and I’ll avoid showing you the last item in the basket,” Ricky said, leaning forward to rest his hand on her calf, stroking his thumb gently over her skin in a way that she was sure was meant to be soothing but only sent her heart crashing through her ribs, “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“It’s… it’s my friends. They saw us at the park when we almost…” she blushed, unsure whether Ricky wanted to talk about what had transpired between them, and by his own stained cheeks she could tell he knew what she was referring to, “I guess they just had questions, and I hated how much they seemed to be questioning my decisions, so I kind of snapped at them. I feel awful about it.”

“Questioning your decisions, how?” Ricky asked, his hand shifting up to her thigh to brush over the skin there, a direct parallel to the first time he had accidentally touched her, and Gina felt her blood pulsing under her skin.

“They were just implying that me…hanging out with you was out of character,” Gina frowned, leaning forward herself to pick at a loose thread on his ripped jeans, a pair she hadn’t seen before, and she wondered if Ricky had been shopping without her, “But, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve never felt more myself than when I’m with you.”

Ricky’s shiver inducing touch stilled on her leg, and when Gina looked up at him, she saw an awed expression on his face, the pink on his cheeks having extended to his chest and the tips of his ears, and she realized in that moment, with Ricky’s attentive eyes drinking in her every word, and his gentle hands caressing her so carefully, that she loved him.

She suddenly wasn’t afraid to admit it to herself. The person who brought out her true self – not what she put on for everyone else, even her mother – was the person she had fallen for, and she wasn’t at all upset by the realization. It felt like a sigh of relief, a warm thrum through her chest and down her body.

Eventually, Ricky cleared his throat and said, “You should tell your friends that. I’m sure they want you to be happy.”

“Yeah,” Gina whispered, knowing he was right, “Thank you for listening.”

“I’ll always listen,” Ricky insisted. Then, teasingly, “Even more so if you pick up your phone.”

Gina let out a surprised laugh, dropping her head in her giggly state, and Ricky leaned into her in his laughter too, his nose brushing against the top of her head, and she’d never felt so warm and safe and intimate with someone in her entire life. She loved him. She really did.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to sort through my thoughts and the bajillion texts from you were distracting,” Gina lifted her head, saw his face right in front of hers, didn’t move away, “I’ve never seen so many ‘Are you okay?’ texts in my life. Anyone would think you were obsessed with me.”

“I was worried about you! We had been texting nonstop for days and then suddenly nothing!” Ricky defended, looking a little embarrassed. After a moment, he said, “...Is it really so bad if I’m a little obsessed with you?”

“Not at all,” Gina immediately replied, giddiness filling her heart to the brim, and she wanted to kiss him. She wanted him badly, wanted to feel his lips against hers, feel his curls slipping through her fingers, feel his breath fan down her neck.

Ricky licked his lips as he stared at her, a cheesy smile on his face. Then, “Well, since you said your piece, I’ll show you mine. Don’t laugh.”

“Laughing is a natural human response, I can’t promise you anything.”

Ricky once again flicked her nose in retaliation, and Gina let out another silly giggle. Then, he turned around and shoved something into her hands, looking a little nervous. She looked down and saw frames of glasses with the lenses popped out, similar to the ones Ricky used to wear before they started hanging out.

“They’re my old ones, the ones I wore before the frames you so rudely told me to ditch.”

“What’s it for?” Gina asked, feeling confused and endeared all at once.

“In case you ever feel like you want to not be perceived,” Ricky said very seriously, “In case you need to fade into obscurity, live out your nerd life in the shadows with me.”

“I thought we were done with hiding?” Gina grinned, sliding the glasses onto her face and blushing at the fond smile Ricky gave her at the sight of them.

“We’re done hiding our friendship,” Gina’s heart twisted at the word, but she didn’t want to correct him in their happy moment. Ricky kept talking, “I’m not opposed to hiding away together though. We can break away from everyone else every now and then.”

“I would love that.”

I would love you , if you let me , her thoughts added for her. She let her smile do the talking though, and she hoped one day she’d be brave enough to tell him how she really felt.

Ricky was still smiling that smile at her, sending her wild at the sight of it, even though she kept pretty calm outwardly.

“I have to go, but I’ll call you,” Ricky said, “Please pick up.”

“I will,” Gina promised, and before she could say anything else, Ricky had leant forward and cupped her cheek gently, swiping his thumb over her cheekbone.

Gina was frozen still, her heart in her throat as she anticipated his next move. He leant in, close enough for her to feel his warm breath against her skin, and then pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than was probably necessary. When he pulled away, he sent her another smile, and Gina longed for him to kiss her properly, to kiss her senseless, to kiss her sweetly. Instead, he pulled away and left.

Gina immediately took her phone off airplane mode, and called him while he was driving. And called him again after she had dinner, and one more time after her nightly shower. He picked up on the first ring each time.

*

Gina felt a weight lift off her chest after she had poured her thoughts and feelings about Ricky out to her friends, and stared in nervous apprehension as they all considered her.

Kourtney took one of Gina’s hands between hers and said, “You know we only want you to be happy right? You’re our sister.”

“I know that,” Gina nodded, and Maddox took her other hand, while Ashlyn and Nini smiled at her in their seats opposite her.

“Gina, we don’t care who you date,” Maddox nudged her shoulder into hers, “If you like the sour pants that is Ricky Bowen, then by all means.”

“He is not sour, he’s sweet,” Gina defended, feeling a blush form on her cheeks, not used to opening up about her feelings to people.

“To you, maybe,” Maddox mumbled, and Gina let go of her hand to punch her arm affectionately.

“I’m just still so surprised he wasn’t flirting with me that one time,” Nini shook her head, eyes wide in confusion.

“Nini, babe, you were drunk off your ass that night,” Ashlyn patted her shoulder, “You thought the houseplant was flirting with you as well.”

“You have a point,” Nini nodded sagely, and the girls all laughed together. Nini spotted something behind Gina, and smiled at her, “Well, your man just arrived. You should go and get him. It’s your turn to go crazy falling head over heels in love.”

Gina turned and saw Ricky walking into the school, and she blew out a nervous breath. She smiled shakily at her friends, reaching into her bag and pulling out the dorky frames Ricky had given her.

“Oh, those are… a choice,” Kourtney said, putting a hand to her mouth, clearly wanting to say more but holding back for Gina’s sake.

Gina simply poked her tongue out at her best friend and made a break for it to catch up to Ricky. She met him at his locker, ignoring the confused glances and whispers she saw from the students along the way, not caring what anyone thought of her if it meant she could have a silly moment with Ricky.

She tapped Ricky on the shoulder, and he turned around, then raised his eyebrows in surprise at the sight of her bespectacled face. He gave her a confused smile, “Good morning, Gina! You look like you woke up and decided to cosplay me from a month ago.”

“You’re so hilarious,” Gina shot him an unimpressed look.

“You always laugh at my jokes when we FaceTime. Don’t act like I’m not funny,” he poked her abdomen lightly, and she couldn’t help but giggle a little, the way she seemed to not be able to stop doing whenever he was around.

“That’s because it’s 2:00AM and I’m delirious,” Gina leaned closer into him, scrunching her nose.

“Personally, I just think you’re as obsessed with me as I am with you,” Ricky said, and then he processed what exactly he had said, and then he blushed wildly and looked down at his hands.

“I am,” Gina replied, needing to reassure him that he was not wrong in his assessment, realizing how stupid she was being in believing he didn’t reciprocate her feelings.

Ricky had been her entire world for the last few weeks, and the same could be said for him – they sat together in the classes they had, they talked during their free periods, they hung out after school, they texted or FaceTimed when they weren’t together. Gina didn’t peg herself to be someone who was clingy, but she found herself not being able to think about anyone other than Ricky, and she was sure that he was much the same if his good morning texts with eight different heart emojis were any indication.

“...Yeah?” Ricky said, his posture straightening at her assuredness.

“Yeah,” Gina nodded, grinning at him, “Can I say something?”

“Anything.”

“I regret not dancing with you at that party. I regret not taking the opportunity to have you close like that, because it’s all I really think about these days,” Gina decided to be bold and just let it all out, “So, I’m shooting my shot. Making a queen bee move, trying again and asking you to dance with me instead at the prom.”

“The prom I said I wasn’t going to?” Ricky asked, but she could tell he was teasing her when he leant back onto his closed locker, took her hand in his and tugged her slightly closer to him.

“That’s the one,” Gina nodded, nudging one of her shoes between his own, seeing people take note of their closeness and try to subtly point at them in the corner of her eye, not caring in the slightest about their talk, “What do you say?”

Ricky pretended to think, pursing his lips a little, before letting go of her hand and reaching to slide the glasses off her face and place them in her bag, speaking in a teasing tone, “I think we need to go on a shopping trip first. You know I can’t be seen with someone who isn’t at the height of their fashion game. I think maybe you had a point about the glasses thing.”

He was so stupid. She loved him badly.

So, she sprung forward and smashed her lips into his, clutching the collar of his blue button up to pull him closer. Ricky’s hands immediately shot to her back, pulling her into him and allowing her to set the pace, to kiss him as thoroughly as she had been aching to for a long while. She pulled back after a two or three long kisses, aware that people were probably (definitely) staring at them, and she giggled under her breath when Ricky’s lips chased hers, not quite reaching them as he was blocked by his nose nudging into hers, unable to see her lips with his eyes closed, a dreamy look on his face.

She’d never seen a boy look so starstruck after kissing them, and a giddiness filled her body at the thought that Ricky was just as far gone for her as she was for him.

“So much for a soft launch,” Ricky whispered in her ear, kissing the side of her neck softly as he looked at the students around them, all staring with moon eyes in their direction.

“It’s exposure therapy, get them used to the idea of us together quickly so I don’t have to deal with asinine questions about it during my prom queen campaign.”

“Does that mean I have to run for prom king?” Ricky asked, wincing at the idea, and Gina only laughed.

“I’ll allow you to wear your ugly denim jacket again if you do.”

Ricky contemplated the idea, tapping his chin, before he grinned and leaned forward to peck her lips, “It’s a good deal… and I’ll accept it if you let me make out with you under the bleachers at the games you cheer for when no one else is looking.”

“Boyfriend?” Gina asked, feeling her face flush even further at the title, and his insinuation that he wanted to sneak around with her when they weren’t supposed to, her skin prickling with goosebumps at Ricky’s hands absentmindedly sliding over her back and up and down her waist.

“If you’ll let me be,” Ricky quickly added.

“Of course I will,” Gina felt like she had never smiled so big in her life, positively beaming, “Only if you’ll let me be your girlfriend.”

“This really is like the movies,” Ricky said in response, nudging his nose against hers, “Who would’ve thought the cheerleader would fall for the nerd?”

“I would watch that film,” Gina nudged her nose back.

If her life was a movie, that moment would have been the perfect close for it.

But, her life wasn’t a movie, it wasn’t a fairytale – and she was looking forward to an endless amount of chapters with Ricky by her side.