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Ladybug is done with all these declarations of love.
“You don’t even know me, Chat!” She flings one hand out as if to gesture at all of his non-knowledge of her. She can’t make it clear to him that civilian-Marinette is not at all like his over-hyped shiny-perfect perception of The Miraculous Ladybug.
He scoffs at her and drops down to lounge on the roof they’ve chosen for this conversation. What a relief to not have to run away to the sound of beeping miraculous for once. Mr. Pigeon really is the best akuma, all things considered.
“My lady,” he declares, “I would love you no matter who you were beneath the mask.”
He can not be serious. “Oh yeah? What if I was Chloe Bourgeois?”
That does give him pause for a second, but he quickly overcomes his hesitance. “Then I would have to assume that you’ve been putting on an act in your civilian life for some unknown reason. You’re kind and strong and wonderful, and a mask can’t create those things. They have to be a part of your soul.”
“No. Absolutely not. Don’t you feel different when you transform? Like a way better version of yourself?”
“I mean, yeah. Have you seen me? I’m paw-some.”
Ladybug closes her eyes for a moment, needing to summon some additional reserve of patience. “So you see,” she grits out, eyes still closed, “the suits change us. You probably wouldn’t be as impressed by who I really am.”
And then he– he blows a raspberry! At her insecurities! Just brushes them off! “Puh-lease, Ladybug, our kwamis aren’t that powerful. I’m cooler like this because I have claws and a magic baton, but my personality is still the same. Well, who I am on the inside is, at least.”
“Aha!” she says, eyes popping back open as she pounces on this revelation. “So you are different as a civilian. I knew it!”
“Only because I have to be!” He seems to sober up a little. “I’m not allowed to make jokes or act silly. That’s why I love my time with you so much.”
Ladybug groans. “Please don’t make me sad, chaton. That’s…really sucky.”
“But if I could know you in real life, not just in a mask…” He grins and sits up, giving her a saucy wink. “We could be our real selves together! I’d be silly around you, and you… Well, you could be whatever you wanted to be around me! And I’d love you no matter what.”
“Oh my god, Chat, you’re not listening! Ladybug isn’t me. What if– what if I was a worm!”
Silence. Then: “...um, what?”
“A worm. What if the suit came off, and I was a gross little creepy crawly worm. What then? Would you still love me then?”
More silence. Chat very slowly pushes himself up off the roof and approaches her, takes her hands in his, and looks deeply into her eyes. “You would be so adorable,” he says somberly. “I’d cup you in my hands and give you a little kiss.”
“Argh!” Ladybug yanks out of his grip and storms across the roof. “You are insane!”
Chat follows her, laughing. “No, no, I’m being serious! I’d get you your own terrarium and fill it with only the best dirt.”
“Chat!”
“I’d sprinkle water on you every day and tell you how precious you are to me!”
Against her will, Ladybug starts laughing. “Stop! You would not!”
“I would!! I mean, I’d have to research. Hold on–” And, to her bafflement, he pulls out his baton.
“What are you doing??”
He speaks aloud as he types the words into his screen. “How– to– care– for– worms…”
“CHAT.”
“What?? This is important! Okay, look here, it says scraps of fruit are a very good diet for worms. I would purchase only the most succulent– hey!” Ladybug takes a swipe for his baton, but he dodges and runs across the roof, still reading as she chases him. “It says I can’t overfeed you, though! No more croissants!”
“You are the most infuriating–” She throws her yoyo to try to knock his baton away. He swings it like a bat and sends the polka-dotted thing flying.
“I’m just trying to take care of you, my lady! Ooh, apparently worms love egg shells. Lots of calcium for you! I want to keep you strong and healthy.”
She can’t fight it anymore and doubles over with laughter, clutching at her stomach. “Oh, it hurts, ouch, please stop.”
“Only if you admit that I would be the best worm boyfriend ever!”
“Fine,” she gasps, waving one hand in surrender. “You’d love me if I was a worm. Just let me catch my breath.”
“Why should I, when you’re always taking mine away?”
“Chat, please.”
Relenting, he slides the screen on his baton shut and saunters toward her. “So, now that I’ve been appointed Best Worm Boyfriend In Any Universe Anywhere, please explain to me again why I wouldn’t like who you are under the mask.”
“Well,” she says, going completely still as he circles her. “I’m clumsy.”
“I’ll catch you.”
“I– I speak nonsense sometimes. Around people I like.”
“I’ll learn to translate.” He’s behind her now, his belt tail brushing her legs.
“And– um– I’m always late for everything.”
“I’m good at waiting. See how long I’ve waited for you already?” Then he’s in front of her again, staring into her eyes with an almost-smug expression. “So, Ladybug, what’s still holding you back?”
“We’re…not supposed to reveal our identities?”
He steps forward, and she moves back, and they repeat that dance until she’s pressed up against a brick chimney. “I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, that you’re just scared.”
“What!” She bristles, straightening up to glare at him even as he presses in a little closer. “I’m not scared, especially not of a mangy cat like you.”
“Uh-huh,” he whispers, face only inches away now. “Sure.”
“R-really. I’m not.” He waits, letting her decide, and she whimpers a little. “Maybe you’re scared to kiss a worm.”
And that sly little half grin lifts his lips again, knocking her breathless. “Well, if the worm gave me permission, I would absolutely kiss it.”
Heart thumping, she nods a little. “I’ve heard worms like being kissed.”
His gloved finger lifts her chin, and he gives her a sweet, soft kiss that is at once both overwhelming and not nearly enough. “Maybe you did different research than me,” he breathes into the scant space between them. “That article I just read didn’t say anything about worms’ kissing preferences.”
“Shut up,” she grumbles and makes sure he can’t get any more quips out by silencing him with another kiss, more heated this time.
And they lived happily wormily after.
The end.