Chapter Text
Saturday 16:25 / 4:25 pm
Atsushi created a chat room
Atsushi added 9 people
Atsushi: Hi^^ I created this chat to get to know each other better! I hope it doesn’t bother you!
Yosano: dw atsushi I think it’s a great idea
Ranpo: i predict now this is gonna get real caothic real quick
Kunikida: Great, another thing to keep Dazai from doing his work.
Dazai: don’t be so rude kunikida-kun~
Dazai: this is gonna be great!
Dazai: can i add someone else atsushi-kun?
Atsushi: Sure?
Dazai: great :)
Dazai added 7 people
Kunikida: DAZAI, IS THAT THE PORT MAFIA?
Dazai: of course!^^ glad to see your not blind yet!
Chuuya: WTF IS THIS DAZAI
Dazai: it’s obviously a group chat
Dazai: has chibi gone stupid?
Chuuya: DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT
Atsushi: Why did you add the port mafia Dazai-san?
Dazai: the more the merrier atsushi-kun ^^
Ranpo: now that everyone is here we can start with nicknames!
Gin: hell yeah!
Gin: i already have a few in mind!
Ranpo changed 10 nicknames
Gin changed 7 nicknames
alcoholic : IM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC
snow white : yes you are
furry : Who is snow shite?
furry : WAIT WHY AM I FURRY?
furry : I’M NOT A FURRY
emo : yes you are
furry : shut up akutagawa
lesbian? : with this nicknames I can’t understand who is who!
ane-san : I agree, we should introduce ourself
ane-san : I’m koyou port mafia executive
gramps : I’m hirotsu black lizard commander
genderfluid lesbian : gin from the black lizard also my pronouns are they/them
bandaid : tachihara black lizard !
emo : i’m akutagawa and i’m not emo
genderfluid lesbian : keep dreaming
lesbian? : i’m higuchi from the port mafia!
alcoholic : i’m chuuya port mafia executive
snow white : chibiii~
alcoholic : SHUT THE FUCK UP MACKEREL
snow white : i’m the fabulous suicide enthusiast Dazai (*≧∀≦*)
furry : I’m Atsushi from the ada!
furry : Why is your name snow white Dazai-san?
snow white : i can’t tell |(￣3￣)|
workaholic : I’m Kunikida Doppo, from the ada
bunny : Kyoka
farmboy : I’m Kenji! Nice to meet you all!!!
you see me not : i’m tanizaki
oni-chan~ : and i’m his sister Naomi <3
sadist lesbian : i’m yosano the agency doctor
the greatest detective : i’m ranpo the greatest detective of all time
dad : I’m Fukuzawa the agency’s president
dad : Ranpo why is my name dad
the greatest detective : it’s obviously because you’re the agency’s dad!!
dad : …
dad : fair enough
snow white : now that everyone has introduced themselves who hasn’t already switched to lowercase typing has to∩^ω^∩
snow white : if you don’t i’ll hunt you down
workaholic : If I do will you do your work?
snow white : ofc ( ^ω^ )
alcoholic : don’t listen to him he’s too lazy to do his own work
snow white : you wound me slug (*≧∀≦*)
alcoholic : SHUT UP WASTE OF BANDAGES
snow white : never <3
lesbian? : is it just me or those two have have a lot of sexual tension?
gramps : it’s been going on for seven years
gramps : i’ve lost every hope
ane-san : i’m starting to doubt they’ll ever get their shit together
snow white : ane-san me and the slug have nothing going on!
snow white : how could you ever tell something like that i tought better of you ( ﾟдﾟ)
alcoholic : ME AND THAT LITTLE SHIT HAVE NOTHING GOING ON
snow white : you can’t call me little after all your such a tiny dog!
alcoholic : I WILL KILL YOU
alcoholic : IM STILL GROWING DAMMIT
furry : i doubt they’re ever goin to stop unless we stop them
genderfluid lesbian : shh i was enjoying the drama