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Yumi was running for her life. Air rushed in her ears, drowning out the sounds of students screaming as her lungs burned for oxygen. To her left, Odd was clutching his injured arm close to his chest in an futile attempt to keep it secured as they ran. To her right was Ulrich, who wasn’t faring much better with the probable concussion he’d sustained earlier. They hadn’t heard from Jeremie or Aelita since they’d split up, and Yumi tried to convince herself it must be because they were rushing to get to the factory rather than being injured as well. In the meantime, she just had to focus on keeping herself and the friends with her alive.
Which was a lot easier said than done. The three of them stumbled to a stop as more XANAfied filled the hallway in front of them.
“Over here!” Yumi cried, rushing towards the stairwell to their right. She held the door open as Ulrich and Odd dove through before slamming it tight.
Bangs and snarls could be heard through the door as Yumi and Odd fought to hold it shut. Ulrich grabbed the janitor’s cart stationed in the corner and jammed it under the door handle. “That’s not going to hold them for long,” he said gruffly. “Any word from Jeremie?”
Odd had already pulled out his phone with his good arm and shook his head, concern on his face. “He’s not answering. Neither is Aelita.”
Yumi bit her lip, considering their situation as the door shook behind them. All three of them were still panting hard, but they really didn’t have a choice. “We can’t stay here. We’ll just have to make a run for it.”
Without another word, the three took off again, doing their best to make their way down the stairs without tripping over themselves. More injuries was the last thing any of them needed.
Unfortunately their efforts weren’t enough, and Odd was soon tumbling down the last flight.
“Odd!” both Yumi and Ulrich yelled, taking two steps at a time ‘til they reached the injured boy.
“Odd, can you hear me?” Ulrich cried, gently turning the boy over to see the damage.
Odd’s eyes were half mast and his lip was bleeding, but he let out a small huff. “I think I found a shortcut.”
The joke fell flat as Ulrich tried to assess their friend further. Yumi bent down to assist when a buzzing in her pocket pulled her attention.
“Jeremie?” she asked hopefully into the phone.
“No, it’s me,” Aelita responded frantically. “Jeremie’s hurt bad! We’ve got four XANAfied people banging on the door, and I can’t get him to wake up!”
Aelita’s voice was laced with a panic more intense than Yumi had possibly ever heard. She watched Ulrich tie Odd’s sweater into something of a sling and prayed that their luck would change soon.
“We’re not much better here,” Yumi admitted. “I’m okay, but Odd and Ulrich are both injured. We’re going to—”
A loud crash interrupted her as the janitor’s cart was pushed out of the way upstairs. “Come on,” she whispered, taking as much of Odd’s weight as possible and moving towards the door in front of them. They were still on the second floor, but she didn’t think they could make another flight. Not with a hoard of superpowered students on their tail.
Ulrich nodded, letting Yumi take Odd as he reached for the door. He turned the handle as quietly as possible and creeped it open. “Quick,” he hissed. “Before they can—”
The quiet words cut off in a curdling scream as a jagged pole broke through his abdomen. Distantly, Yumi could hear Odd and Aelita’s small voice from the phone yelling but the rest of her awareness was stuck on Ulrich’s face. His mouth was scrunched into a pained frown and his eyes met hers. It was a look of apology. A look of goodbye.
Time seemed to slow down as the pole was pulled back out by the XANAfied attacker and Ulrich slumped to the ground.
“No!” Odd screamed, launching himself at the man only to be slammed into the wall with the same pole.
“Odd!” Yumi cried, finally snapping out of her haze and realizing what was happening. “Ulrich!”
She didn’t know who to run to first. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening.
Ulrich’s eyes slipped closed, and a fine shimmer started to consume his feet. But wait, that couldn’t—
Yumi’s attention snapped over to see the same thing happening to Odd as well. The shimmer worked its way up the boys’ bodies, faint pixels replacing them as it went.
They were devirtualizing. Or at least, their body’s were disappearing into pixels. But they weren’t on Lyoko, which meant death was permanent. Which meant—
A sharp pain cut through her side and Yumi looked up to see Rosa the lunch lady staring down at her with smug hatred, one her kitchen knives in hand. Yumi’s phone dropped to the ground as the agony overwhelmed her. She could hear small shrieks and crashes coming through the phone, indicating that Aelita and Jeremie weren’t in any better shape.
They were cut off, though, as Rosa’s heavy foot smashed the phone to pieces. Grinning, she kicked Yumi in the gut, sending her flying into the wall behind her. To where Odd had disappeared into thin air.
“You lose,” the woman said, her voice sounding warped from from XANA’s presence.
The flare in Yumi’s side started to flicker and she looked down to see her own body starting to disappear. It climbed up her legs and torso then finally enveloped her head, cutting off air. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t— !
Yumi jerked awake with a gasp.
Sweat soaked her bed and her legs were tangled up in her sheets. Her alarm was still blaring and she slammed a fist down on it harder than she intended. She allowed herself a few deep, shaky breaths to remind herself where she was.
Pushing herself out of bed and carefully ignoring the phantom pain that flashed in her side, Yumi turned on the light and got ready for the day.
Yumi was exhausted. The day had been a mess—something that was beginning to become commonplace. Despite desperately needing to catch up in nearly all of her classes, she’d been completely unable to focus. What little notes she did get were as much as useless, and as if it all needed a cherry on top, Mrs. Meyer had pulled her aside after class to discuss her seeming lack of effort.
She’d almost groaned at her bad luck. The ankle that had developed a constant ache since she’d been thrown into a wall during XANA’s last attack had been acting up and the last thing she needed right now was a discussion on her poor behavior. She didn’t have the energy to protest, though, so she just stood there as she was belittled and ridiculed, shifting her weight whenever her ankle started throbbing.
When Yumi finally left, feeling about one inch tall, a part of her hoped XANA would launch an attack just so she could have a do over. Not that she really expected it to make a difference. After all, she’d missed a lot more than she could catch up on with just one days’ extra time, and it had been a long time since she felt like she had any chance in getting her grades up. But at least then all she’d have to deal with was being shot by a satellite or electrocuted to death rather than go through hours upon hours of her failure and insufficiency shoved in her face.
Cringing at her own melodrama and bitterness, Yumi tried to dismiss the dark thought. How could she even think such a thing? How could she wish her friends and the whole world be in danger just so she could skip class?
By the time she’d finally been able to reach the cafeteria, they’d started to put the food away. Thankfully, Rosa still had some sitting around. With an apologetic smile that Yumi carefully avoided equating to that of her dream last night, the lady served the cold mush onto her plate.
The rush of relief when Yumi finally found her friends was overwhelming. Sometimes it seemed like she was the only people she could really exist around without it draining her further.
As she got closer, she could hear Odd complaining loudly of some injustice Ulrich had done to him. A smile pulled at her lips as she put down her tray and sat down.
Ulrich raised an eyebrow towards her. “Someone took their time. We were starting to think you were going to make it.”
“Yeah, I was starting to wonder too,” Yumi said honestly. Her stomach reminded her that she’d forgotten to eat breakfast again as she picked up her fork impatiently.
“Well,” Odd started, a light-hearted pout on his face. “I’m glad my real friend has shown up. These guys are all traitors.”
Any other day Yumi would have been eager to hear whatever chaos her friends had been up to, but right now she just didn’t have the energy to fully invest. Despite that, she knew that Odd wanted a response, so she did her best to look interested. “Oh?”
“Odd’s mad that no one woke him up this morning,” Aelita filled in, amusement clear on her face. “He missed an exam in science.”
Jeremie leaned in as if sharing a big secret. “Apparently he threatened to let Kiwi pee in Ulrich’s bed if he didn’t let him go back to sleep.”
“I don’t remember saying anything of the sort!” Odd denied. “How can I be held accountable for my words when I’m not even conscious?”
Ulrich smirked, “So are you finally admitting you talk in your sleep?”
“Of course not, and don’t change the subject!”
Yumi let the banter roll over her and soothe the panic she’d had waking up this moment. By now, she was used to the nightmares, but with so many having been based in actual memories, it was hard to completely let it go until she saw them all, safe and sound like this.
Not bloody and screaming and disappearing into mid-air as a pipe was pulled out of their chest.
Someone snapping in her face drew her out of the memory and Yumi tried to remember what had just been asked to her as Odd stared at her expectantly. “Hellooooo,” he said, waving a hand in front of her face. “Anyone home? Man, first Jeremie and now you. At least Jeremie is working on something. What’s your excuse?”
Yumi pushed his hand away, defensiveness flaring at his words. It seemed like she couldn’t be enough for anyone these days. “Get your hands out of my face. I’m trying to eat,” she said, tone a bit harsher than she intended.
Silence fell over them and Yumi could feel everyone’s eyes boring into her. She pointedly didn’t look up, pretending she was too invested in her food.
“Geez, someone’s a bit hangry,” Odd finally said lightly, but it felt off.
“Odd,” Aelita chastised. “Yumi’s probably just tired. It’s been a long week for everyone.”
“I’m fine ,” she snapped, putting her fork down as if daring them to challenge her. She’s not the only one here who’s had a long week and she does not need to be coddled.
When she actually looks at her friends’ expressions though, the anger quickly fades away and is replaced with shame. Her friends were dealing with the same crap as she was, so why was she taking it out on them? Just because they’re somehow not hanging on by a thread doesn’t mean she should be a jerk to them.
Shaking the bitter thoughts, she looked back down and tried to act natural. “Sorry, It’s just been a long day.” Before anyone could comment further, Yumi turned her attention to Jeremie. “Odd said you’re working on something? XANA hasn’t launched an attack, right?”
Jeremie straightens his glasses and looks at his computer screen. “No, nothing like that. In fact, if I succeed, I might just be able to stop that very thing.”
“What, no way!” Ulrich says, face showing the same shock that Yumi is feeling. The others have similar looks of awe as he continues. “Are you saying you could stop XANA from activating towers?”
“Well, kind of. Not really, but if my theory is correct, I might have found a way to temporarily cut off the tower’s ability to interact with the real world. It would only last a few hours but...”
“But that would mean we could have more control over when XANA attacks,” Aeltia finished for him. “Oh, Jeremie, that’s genius!”
Yumi couldn’t help but agree. Maybe they could use this to give them a little relief when XANA has been launching back to back attacks. It’d be nice to go to sleep knowing that there’s no chance of waking to a frantic phone call.
“That’d be amazing!” Odd said enthusiastically. “I’d never have to miss another episode of Hospital of Horrors again!” At the others’ looks, he quickly amended, “And maybe we could avoid missing important exams or whatever too.”
“Maybe if you don’t sleep through them at least,” Ulrich said teasingly.
Before Odd could reply, Jeremie cut in. “I was thinking of heading to the factory tonight to experiment further. I could use someone on Lyoko to help judge the effects. Any takers?”
“I’m in,” Odd said immediately. “No chance I’m going to miss the start of XANA’s downfall!”
Ulrich snorted. “I’ll come too. So Mr. Optimism here doesn’t give you any skewed data.”
Odd huffed. “I am perfectly capable of collecting accurate data.”
“I can come and help from this side,” Aelita interjected. “Maybe with both of us working on it, we’ll have a better chance of catching any bugs.”
“Great!” Jeremie said. “It will be a whole party.”
At his words, everyone turned towards the only person who hadn’t spoken yet. Once again, Yumi wanted to hide away from all of the attention, but she knew she needed to give a response.
“I—I can’t, I’m sorry,” Yumi said finally, the words almost getting caught in her mouth. There was nothing she’d like more than to blow off some steam on Lyoko without some XANA attack hanging over them, but she’d promised her dad she would help him with his laptop today and there was no way her grades could handle another night of not studying. If she didn’t want to make it harder for her to head to the factory when it was really needed, she couldn’t afford to just hang out with her friends for fun. “I wish I could, but I just can’t.”
A gentle hand on her shoulder made her look up to Aeltia’s concerned but warm face. “It’s no problem, Yumi. But are you sure you’re o—”
The bell cut off her friend, and a mix of relief and dread washed over Yumi. On one hand, she was thankful to cut off the conversation. She wasn’t sure how much more of her friend’s compassion she couldn’t take before losing her grip on everything that’s been weighing on her. But at the same time, that bell meant it was time to leave her refuge and return to her useless attempts to catch up in her classes.
They all start to gather up their stuff, no one wanting to draw more trouble than usual by being late. Yumi looked forlornly down at her plate of half-eaten lunch before picking it up and throwing it away.
The others were still glancing at her with varying degrees of uncertainty, so Yumi gave them a quick smile in hopes of alleviating the weight she might have accidentally dumped on them today. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Good luck at the factory tonight!”
Without waiting for a reply, Yumi slung her backpack over her shoulder and headed off towards the next torture session on her school schedule.
Finally.
With a sigh, Yumi added her last period to her essay and let the pencil slip from her fingers. Her head soon followed, finding a pillow in her arms on the table. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this tired before, which was saying a lot considering her chronic sleep deprivation.
It had taken her all night to complete the homework due tomorrow, and that didn’t even include all the makeup work she has across her classes. Not to mention the fact that she was practically writing gibberish by the end of her paper. But she really didn’t have anything left in her, so it was going to have to be good enough.
A loud bang had her snapping to awareness and she was on her feet instantly, looking around for what attack XANA may have sent this time. She’d known it was only been only a matter of time...
But there was nothing there. Only Hiroki playing a video game with the volume on high. He doesn’t even seem to notice her reaction, which was good because he’d never stop teasing her about such an overreaction. Seriously, Yumi needed to get a gri—
Something touched her shoulder and she jumped again, spinning around into a defensive stance.
Only to find her mother standing there, something between amusement and concern in her expression. “Are you alright, dear?”
Yumi nodded, worried that the frantic beating of her heart might still be evident in her voice as she spoke. Her mother kept looking at her, though, so she said, “Just startled me. I’m fine.”
The amusement on her mom’s face won and she smiled. “Well, then I could use some help in the kitchen. Then maybe you should turn in early; you’ve seemed quite tired today.”
Yumi nodded again. The thought of cleaning dishes sounded like more than her body could handle right now, but she followed her mom into the kitchen and got to work anyway.
Her mom made small talk as they worked and Yumi made sure to make the appropriate sounds or comments at the right time. She was hardly listening, though. The thought that this was the last obstacle between her and her bed was the only thing keeping her on her feet.
After what felt like an eternity, the last dish had been washed, dried, and put away. She immediately went over to collect her homework before anyone could ask anything else of her. “Well, I’m going to head to bed then. Night, Mom. Night, Dad. Night, Hiroki.”
A couple echoed responses flittered on the edges of her senses, but she didn’t try to make out what the words actually were. The door closed behind her with a solid thud and Yumi breathed out a sigh of relief. One more day down. Now if only she could get through the night without nightmares.
She did a rush job of brushing her teeth and quickly threw on some pajamas before turning off the lights and climbing under her blankets. Her eyes closed almost immediately.
She was just starting to drift off when a familiar beeping interrupted her.
Groaning, Yumi forced her eyes open. It didn’t take long for her to identify the sound and alertness jolted through her as she grabbed for her phone.
“Jeremie?” she asked, hoping that just this once, she would luck out and he wouldn’t be calling about a XANA attack.
“I just detected an activated tower. Head to the factory,” he said matter-of-factly. At least that meant no one was in trouble yet.
Or at least, not that they knew of.
Yumi pulled on her clothes, which were still warm from when she’d changed for bed. “I’ll be right there.”
“Good, and watch your back. We don’t know what XANA’s planning this time.”
“Always what I love to hear,” Yumi said dryly. “You guys stay safe too. I’ll see you soon.”
Jeremie hummed in acknowledgement before disconnecting the call. Yumi quickly went through her routine for night attacks: lights off, pillow under her blankets, and window silently opened. She looked down, not looking forward to the drop to the ground—her bruise from last time was still healing.
Steeling her nerves anyway, she positioned herself to be hanging from her fingertips and carefully let go of the ledge.
Despite her best attempts, she landed hard and the ache in her ankle flared into something much less dull. She managed not to cry out, but it took a moment to gather up the will power to stand up.
The weight certainly did not help with the pain, but Yumi had been through worse. Gritting her teeth, she climbed over their gate and started running towards the factory.
Yumi got about halfway there before the street lights started flickering. Not wasting a moment to assess if it was XANA, she broke out into a sprint. She hadn’t believed in coincidences in a long time and wasn’t going to risk it.
In a big flash, the whole section of street lights turned off, leaving the only source of light to be a sparking, bright light coming from behind Yumi. She was familiar enough with electricity at this point to recognize its presence, and she urged her legs to go faster as she darted towards the wooded area.
She was too late, though, as something snaked around her foot and pulled it out from under her. Hitting her head hard, Yumi didn’t have time to dodge before it had started to wrap around her further. The places of contact sent pulses through her body and Yumi tried not to scream as her muscles twitched beyond her control.
Distantly, she heard a familiar tune playing out and realized she’d dropped her phone. It was barely audio outside the ringing in her ears, but Yumi wriggled around anyway, hoping to somehow pick up. She was in a real pickle here and who knows how many power lines might be around the factory? She had to warn them before XANA messes with the supercomputer or targets one of her other friends.
The cords tightened, as if trying to crush the fleeting hope from her body. They climbed higher, wrapping around her throat, cutting off Yumi’s airway. She felt herself being lifted off the ground, and she squeezed her eyes tight as the torn, sparking end of the line slowly creeped closer. She was lucky to live in one of the few neighborhoods in the area with partially insulated power lines, but that wouldn’t do anything to protect her if the open end touched her. There was nothing she could do now. There was no way out of this one—she was going to die.
XANA must have realized the power he held too from the way the cord took its time to slither over, circling her and tightening the strands surrounding her even tighter. For an artificial intelligence, XANA sure did enjoy making things as slow and painful as possible. As if it fed off the fear coming off Yumi as her vision started to go hazy.
At least if she passed out now, she wouldn’t be awake for the final shock.
But it didn’t come. Instead, she felt a sudden crash and the wires loosen around her. Yumi wasn’t sure what had happened, but she pushed herself free as quickly as possible, slowly regaining awareness as the previously deprived oxygen finally reached her brain.
The first thing that filtered back in was the sound of pained yelling. Pushing herself to her feet, Yumi spun around to see Odd draped a section of the power line as if he'd tackled it. His eyes were open wide as his body convulsed from the contact. Every so often, he’d make a small movement in the direction away from the wires, but it seemed as though the pulses sent through the cords had him paralyzed.
It seemed like XANA had grown tired of them as the sparking end of the wire was coming at Odd quickly now. They had seconds before it made contact and it was close enough that nothing but direct contact with the edge would stop it.
Yumi didn’t have time to come up with a plan, and there really was only one thing she could think to do. Without another thought, she launched herself forward in a flying kick and frantically prayed to whoever might be listening that rubber soles really could prevent electric shocks.
The air seemed to sizzle as her foot connected, but Yumi didn’t drop dead so she was going to count that as a win. Carefully directing her weight, she landed hard with the wire beneath the thick sole of her combat boots. She could practically feel her hair standing on end and her bad ankle had collided with a small cracking sound. Yumi hopped off as soon as the wire had momentarily gone slack, stumbling towards Odd.
Odd was pushing himself up, eyes widening as Yumi’s state, but he didn’t comment as she grabbed his arm and started dragging them both towards the woods.
“Come on!” she said, throat hoarse. “The branches should give us some protection!”
They make it to the sewer entrance without any problems, but as they arrive, Yumi’s ankle gives way. She nearly drags both of them to the ground, but Odd manages to stop her from completely faceplanting. “Yumi! Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she replied, pushing off his hands in embarrassment and standing up by herself. “Just tripped. Let’s keep going.”
There’s a noticeable limp in Yumi's steps now, and she nearly falls when she steps onto the skateboard, but manages to balance at the last moment.
It’s clear by Odd’s expression that he wants to say something, but Yumi pushes her skateboard forward and her friend thankfully seems to get the hint. They really didn’t have time for bum ankles right now, and all that mattered was that she could stay upright long enough to reach the factory.
Besides, if all she comes out of tonight with is a small sprain, Yumi would consider herself lucky. She’d really thought she was dead meat for a bit there. If it hadn’t been for Odd’s impeccable timing, she wouldn’t have stood a chance.
Turning her head towards her friend, she asked, “How’d you find me back there?”
“Jeremie said you weren’t picking up your phone and then we saw that a big chunk of the area between your place and the factory had lost power.” Odd shrugged. “It seemed a bit too coincidental when XANA’s involved.”
Yumi snorted, but couldn’t deny that it felt good knowing her friends were looking out for her. “No kidding. Well, thanks for coming when you did. I owe you one.”
“Pretty sure you already made that one up when you used your taekwondo on a live wire. Your hair might never recover,” Odd joked.
Yumi didn’t bother to correct him on the incorrect martial arts form, instead focusing on the problem at hand. “So everyone else is alright?”
“Yeah, they’re all fine. But Ulrich’s almost out of life points, so you’re kinda Aeltia’s last wall of defense.”
“Sounds perfect,” Yumi said flatly, trying to hide her intimidation. She didn’t seem to have the best track record on devirtualizations lately, but she was literally their only option. She would just have to be on the top of her game this time.
Ignoring the pain in her ankle, she pushed herself faster and the two of them rolled on in silence.
Yumi breathed a sigh of relief as the red hue around the tower faded away. “The tower is deactivated, Jeremie! You can bring us back in now.”
“One devirtualization trip coming right up!” Jeremie’s chipper voice rang out.
A moment later, the scanners were open and she, Ulrich, and Aelita stepped back into the real world.
Or at least, Yumi tried to. In her time on Lyoko, she had forgotten about her possible ankle injury and as soon as she put weight on it, she went down with a yelp.
“Yumi!” Ulrich and Aelita cried simultaneously.
Yumi didn’t realize she’d been squeezing her eyes closed until a hand on her knee had her opening them. Ulrich knelt in front of her, concern written on his features. “Hey, are you okay? What happened?”
Biting her lip, Yumi tried to come up with a good explanation that would wipe the worry off his and Aelita’s faces. She was okay. A twisted ankle or whatever it was was barely even an injury compared to what they’ve pushed through before. Unfortunately, she wasn’t totally sure that standing up on her own would result in anything but crashing back down to the ground, so she had no way of hiding it.
“I’m fine,” Yumi grunted, feeling tired of repeating the sentiment so many times lately. The pain was making her irritable and she wished people would just give her a moment to pull it together. After the spectacle she’d made getting out of the scanner, though, she knew that wouldn’t be happening.
A rush of air signaled that Odd and Jeremie had joined the party and Yumi barely kept from groaning.
“What’s going on?” Jeremie asked, eyes on Yumi as he stepped out of the elevator.
“Yumi’s been hurt,” Ulrich said in a rush. “We don’t know where yet, but she collapsed right out of the scanner.”
“Her left ankle,” Odd offered. “She was favoring it on the way here, but I didn’t think it was more than a sprain.”
His eyebrows knit together as his gaze joined the others and Yumi decided she’d had enough. “It is just a sprain,” she snapped, shoving herself to her feet despite the pain. “Like I said, I’m fine.”
She’s only able to hold her balance for a moment before the pain overwhelms her. Warm arms catch her immediately, but the pain doesn’t recede as quickly as it had previous times. Someone is messing with the cuff of her jeans and pulling at her boot. Yumi hisses, barely holding in something closer to a scream at the way her foot seems to explode. It takes a moment before the other’s voices filter back in in waves.
“...looks really bad..".
“...ken by this col..."
“...launch a Return to the Past...”
“No!” Yumi cried, trying to reign in her focus. When she finally does, she finds the others looking startled by her response. “I don’t need a Return to the Past,” she continued forcefully. “We can’t allow XANA to get stronger. I’ll be fine in a couple of days.”
“Couple of days?” Odd echoed incredulously. “You can’t even walk!”
Yumi sent him a glare. “I made it here, didn’t I? I can handle it.”
“It doesn’t matter if you can handle it,” Ulrich argued. “You’re hurt, and when someone gets hurt we launch a Return to the Past. It’s as simple as that.”
Yumi was about to reply heatedly when Aeltia’s calm voice interrupted her. “It’s not just about the pain, Yumi. How are you going to explain this to your parents? How are you going to get back into your room tonight without them noticing you were gone?”
The questions made Yumi’s throat go dry. She hadn’t really thought about it that way, and Aelita did have a point. Even if Yumi could walk, there was no way she would be able to climb in through the window. Feeling lost, she turned to the person who hadn’t commented yet. “Jeremie?”
The boy was frowning, expression tight as if considering important details. “Even if you can manage everything else, this could make you an easier target for XANA attacks. I don’t like the idea of leaving you with an injury that would be so easy to exploit.”
Yumi’s eyes fell to the ground in shame. She’s held the others back before and the last thing she wanted to do was to become a burden. But at the same time, each Return to the Past was getting riskier. “But XANA...” she started, trailing off when Jeremie held up a placating hand.
“It wouldn’t be without consequences, but I think it’s our best move.” He leveled his gaze at her, expression neutral. “That said, I won’t launch a Return to the Past if you say not to.”
“What??” Ulrich snapped. “Are you kidding me? You just said it yourself, leaving her like this does nothing but put her in danger!”
“Jeremie’s right,” Aelita cut in, focusing on their injured friend. “This isn’t black and white and, ultimately, it should be Yumi’s choice.”
“You can’t be serious!” Ulrich exclaimed, but he quickly lost steam as the others didn’t budge. Odd glared at Jeremie and Aelita, clearly siding with Ulrich, but didn’t say anything.
“I—” Yumi started, suddenly not feeling so sure of anything. The others were making good points, but XANA kept gaining power and becoming more dangerous. There would be other times that would require it far more than some measly ankle injury.
“Come on, Yumi,” Ulrich said, anger replaced with pleaded. “Don’t do this to yourself.”
The words were unexpected, and Yumi didn’t have to feign confusion when she asked, “Do what?”
“This!” Ulrich gestured in Yumi’s direction. “We can tell you’re struggling, but you never let us help you or anything!”
“That’s not true!” Yumi replied, indignance flaring at the seeming accusation in her friend's words.
“He’s not wrong. Are you trying to punish yourself or what?” Odd added, voice trying to be light but not quite managing.
The question hung in the air, squashing all responses that came to Yumi’s mind as she really thought about what he was asking. She was fighting so hard against this because it could strengthen XANA... right?
Except not everything she was doing was related to XANA, was it? It wasn’t as if allowing a friend to help carry her weight would have strengthened him, but it could have prevented her ankle from getting worse.
But her friends already have enough weight they’re carrying themselves. And sure, maybe she is struggling. And maybe she is isolating herself a bit. She just didn’t want to add to their plates. That was all there was to it.
Though maybe... maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she was doing this all because she’s afraid too. Yumi liked to talk a tough game and prided herself on her ability to remain level-headed in emergencies, but the truth was that she was terrified all the time. Any second she could lose her friends. And if she allowed herself to let the others in, to ask them for help, then... then she couldn’t pretend anymore.
“Yumi?” Aelita asked, compassion in her gaze. Yumi immediately wanted to shut it out, deny that there was a problem, insist that there was no need to worry about her because she could handle anything without their help.
But she really couldn’t. And why was she trying so hard to do so anyway? Yumi may find a small bit of comfort in the pretense that their lives weren’t a living nightmare full of pain and fear, but that could never change the reality. If she were being honest, she wasn’t sure she’d ever actually believed her lies in the first place.
It seemed like maybe her friends hadn’t either.
“You’re right,” Yumi finally said, feeling uncomfortable at the admission. “Maybe I haven’t been handling things as well as I’d like.”
“No one is an island,” Jeremie said with a small smile. “We all rely on each other. It’s the only way to survive.”
Odd sat down on the metal hatch Yumi was leaned against casually slinging an arm over her shoulder. “Besides, we’re probably the only people out there who may understand what you’re going through, so why wouldn’t you talk to us about it?”
“Yeah,” Yumi mumbled, running her hands down her face. This intense feeling of being overwhelmed was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid, and it hadn’t hesitated to slam her full force as soon as she opened the door. “It’s just been so long since anything felt manageable. It... it felt easier to handle if I just didn’t talk about it.”
Ulrich nodded empathetically. ”I know what you mean. But I’ve tried the lone wolf and trust me, it isn’t worth it. No one benefits from you hurting.”
Yumi bit her lip. Knowing that and truly believing it were two very different things. But if she was going to try then she needed to be honest with herself. She needed to let the others in.
Taking a deep breath, she started, “Every day, I wake up from one up you screaming or dying. Maybe multiple of you if my brain is feeling particularly cruel. I can’t remember the last time I felt well rested and it’s messing with my ability to concentrate. My family doesn’t understand, and I haven’t even picked up all the late work I have to make up from XANA attacks. I couldn’t even tell you what subject we’re studying in science right now. I’m tired and scared all the time and it never seems to get better.”
Yumi didn’t realize a hand had found its way to her hair until she felt her scalp pulling from her clenched grip. Despite the light pain the tugging caused, she couldn’t get herself to let go. Deciding that it was fine where it was, she forced herself to continue, “School and family aren’t the only things impacted though. I’m so afraid of letting you guys down. All it would take is one bad day, one moment where I move too slow or fire too soon, and the whole world could feel the consequences. I feel like I’m becoming less and less helpful with each attack and we can’t afford that.”
A heavy silence hung over them for a moment, and Yumi almost started to regret saying anything. This tense atmosphere was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid.
“I feel that way too sometimes.”
Odd’s quiet voice was so uncharacteristically soft that Yumi nearly questioned if it were even him. He wore a contemplative expression as he continued, “My grades have never been good, so missing so many classes means I’m constantly on the verge of flunking. I’ve tried so hard to not care, but sometimes the teachers will make a comment about me not even trying and it shakes me. Problems aren’t resolved as quickly as I wish they were and it’s terrifying knowing that there’s no clear finish line to when this responsibility will finally be over.”
“Same here,” Jeremie replied, equally tiredly. “When we first discovered XANA, I was certain I could materialize Aelita within a week or two so we could shut it all down. But then, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. Sometimes I’m afraid it will last forever. I hate the feeling of not knowing. I hate feeling responsible for it all.”
Yumi didn’t know what to say. Here her friends were, being vulnerable with her and she couldn’t think of a single thing that might comfort them without coming off as some false placation.
“You know what helps me accept that uncertainty, though? Jeremie asked. Yumi noticed he had the other’s attention too as he continued softly. “You did. All of you. Whenever I’m struggling to believe this will end, one of you is there, ready to pick me up. The responsibility that’s fallen on us is far more than I could have ever imagined when I first found that computer, but I also found friends who are willing to share it with me. I know that when something becomes too much for me to carry, one of you will be there, ready to pick it up.”
“I wouldn’t have ever had a real life if it weren’t for you guys,” Aelita commented. “I can’t imagine trying to deal with it all without your help.”
Ulrich smiled at Yumi, a tinge of bitterness to the expression but genuine nonetheless. “Sounds like you’re in good company, Yumi. We’re all pretty messed up.”
The unexpected comment pulled a laugh from Yumi and the others joined in. “Yeah, I guess it’d be weird for any of us to really be okay with this all anyway.”
“See, nothing to worry about!” Odd agreed, tone regaining its usual playfulness. “We’re all the perfect amount of messed up.”
Yumi chuckled again. “Thanks, guys. I think I needed this.”
“Anytime,” Aelita said gently. “We’re all here for you.”
Jeremie adjusted his glasses up on his nose, a slight smirk crossing his face. “So, are we launching a Return to the Past then?”
For a moment, the others all stared at her and Yumi once again felt the need to hide, to deny, but she carefully dismissed the urge and reminded herself that she was safe with her friends. “Yeah,” she said softly. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
This time around, Yumi had a much better start to her day. The Return to the Past had taken her far back enough that she could remember to grab breakfast but not so far back as to force her through her nightmare again. She still had the dull ache in her ankle from before, but it was nothing like the pain she’d been in after returning from Lyoko. She would just need to be careful not to be too rough with it for a couple of days, and it should be back to normal.
Another perk of having a better start to the day was that Yumi was able to leave for school earlier to meet the others by the vending machine. She’d never told anyone—nor did she intend to—but those few minutes with her friends before a stressful day of school were often a lifeline for her.
So when she arrived to them not there, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
Deciding she might as well get a hot chocolate or something before class, she walked over anyway.
“Hey, Yumi!” a familiar voice called, and Yumi turned around to see Odd followed by the rest of the group. They were all smiling and she couldn’t help but return it, lifting a hand in a wave. She felt something in her chest ease at the sight of them. Maybe she hadn’t been good at going to her friends for help, but somehow they’d always managed to help just through existing.
“Wow,” Ulrich said, smirking. “You’re here early. It’s not often that you beat us.”
Yumi shrugged. “Well, most of my morning stuff was already taken care of so I figured no reason not to head over. Besides, I’m not that early. This is pretty late for you guys to get here.”
The group shared a look, and Yumi got the feeling she was missing something. “What?” she asked, a bit suspicious of whatever had them so giddy.
“Well,” Jeremie started. “We were chatting about what you said yesterday, and Ulrich thought it might be nice to take a bit off your plate, so...”
Grinning, Aelita held out the large folder and Yumi took it, uncertain what was so special. “Uh, thanks?”
“Open it, dummy,” Odd said teasingly.
Yumi did and her chest squeezed as she realized what they’d done for her. “Is this...?”
“All of the work and notes for the classes you’ve missed,” Ulrich finished, something of triumph in his voice. “Your teachers were pretty willing to hand it over once we said we were collecting it for you.”
“Thanks guys,” Yumi said, throat feeling tight. She could have rolled her eyes at the feeling. It was just a stack of homework, after all. Though, as she started looking through her math and science homework, she realized there was more to it than that. “Did—Did you guys write out the steps for me?”
“They sure did!” Odd said enthusiastically. “And Einstein here happens to know how most of it works already, so we were thinking of having a study party today! You and our two resident geniuses over here can work on your homework while Ulrich and I play video games.”
Odd grinned and Yumi laughed. “Thank you. This is all so helpful.”
Jeremie fidgeted, but seemed happy as well. “I can’t help you much with your English courses, but I’d be more than happy to walk you through some of your math or science homework. Aelita is great with history too, so that’s most of your classes out of the way.”
“What do you think?” Aelita asked excitedly. “Would your parents let you do a study session with us tonight?”
Yumi thought about that for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, I think they would.”
“Sounds like a plan then!” Jeremie said. “Besides, I think maybe we could all benefit from a bit more studying.”
“Hey!” Odd replied, as if personally affronted. “I study plenty. My teachers just don’t understand my true artistic genius!”
A bell rang out and Yumi reluctantly took the papers and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She’d see them soon enough. “I better get going. I’ll check with my parents but I think we can plan on having a study session tonight.”
As she was turning, Aelita called out, “Will we see you at lunch today?”
The question made Yumi pause, touched by the question and implication of them wanting her around. She glanced down at the worksheets in her hands. Her friends had just saved her quite a bit of time. “Yeah, I’ll be there,” she said confidently, giving one final smile before heading to her first subject.
Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.