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THE FABULOUS JUNGLE BOOK STORY FIC
(or, the real reason The Jungle Book was the last film Walt personally supervised)
* * *
Zeus banged his gavel and the sound of thunder silenced the room, full of chattering gods.
“This 12,496th session of the Olympian council is now called to order!”
Nobody cheered, which Zeus thought was strange. His sons always applauded for him. Oh well. He wanted to get this over with; Ganymede was waiting in his bedchamber and Hera was already being pissy enough about it.
“Now the first order of business on the agenda today is–”
“Um, excuse me, Brother, but…” Hestia trailed off, her hand raised timidly.
“You already got us tea, Hestia.”
“No, Brother, it’s just that… well, Dionysus and Apollo aren’t here yet.”
“What!?” Zeus looked around. It was pretty crowded in the throne room, but D and Apollo’s chairs were indeed empty. Over on her own throne, Artemis facepalmed in exasperation.
“WHERE ARE THEY!?” he thundered.
Drunken singing voices answered for him. Dionysus and Apollo tottered into the room, arms slung around each other.
“YEAH IT’S TRUE-OO-OO… I WANNA BE LIKE YOU-OO-OO!”
“I WANNA WALK LIKE YOU, TALK LIKE YOU-OO-OO!”
Everyone stared. Artemis sunk down in her chair, hiding her face in her hands. She looked like she was resisting the urge to shoot her brother. Next to Zeus, Hera looked like she’d swallowed a lemon.
Zeus was confused, but mostly frustrated. He had a date, dammit!
It wasn’t long before the pair stopped, noting everyone’s stares. Apollo grinned madly.
“’SUP FAM!” he shouted, throwing his free arm out in an attempt at a wave.
Dionysus flashed a peace sign. “Yo.”
These were not his kids. Leto and Semele had cheated him. For real this time.
“If you are quite finished,” said Hera, in an attempt to placate the crowd. It was times like these that Zeus remembered why he had married Hera. For a moment he considered taking her out tonight, but then Gany would be sad. Gany always messed up his coffee orders when he was sad. Also, the sex was disappointing.
“Kindly sit down,” Hera continued, tersely. This was just one of the many reasons she didn’t like either Dionysus or Apollo. Zeus didn’t like them either at the moment.
Apollo was still swaying and humming under his breath. Obviously he thought no one could hear him. Zeus glanced at Athena, hoping his right-hand (wo)man (except maybe Hera) would say something. She tended to get really pissy when they didn’t stay on task in the council meetings. But she had pulled out a newspaper. Oh. And her monocle.
No help from her, then.
He turned back to the drunken idiots, who were still grinning and rocking slightly. Dionysus took a swig from his flask. Apollo grabbed it in midair, tossed some back, and promptly burst into song. Again.
“Skumps skumps SKUMPS!”
Dionysus grinned widely. “I know this one!” he shouted, and joined in on the chorus. Apollo started harmonizing.
“ENOUGH!” Zeus roared. “Get in your seats!”
They started walking, tripping over each others’ feet. They fell into a tangled heap and burst into drunken laughter.
“NOW!”
Athena smirked behind her paper as the two gods scrambled to their thrones.
“To business,” Zeus said, irritably. He banged his gavel again. “Now I call this session to order.”
Apollo started mumbling under his breath again, sadly. Hephaestus slapped him upside the head.
“Hey!” he shouted. “That was appropriate singing! ‘Heigh ho, heigh ho, it’s off to work we go!’”
“Shut up, Dopey,” Artemis snapped from behind her hands.
“He’s Dopey,” Apollo protested, pointing at Dionysus. “I’m Happy. Get it right, sis!”
Artemis pulled out her bow. She twanged the string threateningly. Sometimes she was the only thing that would get Apollo to shut up. Just another reason Zeus had the best daughter ever.
“As I was saying,” he continued, shouting over the voices of the other Olympians. “Our first order of business is—”
“Finding the owner of THIS!” Dionysus interrupted. A glass slipper appeared in his outstretched hand.
“Ooh, ooh, try me!” said Hestia excitedly. She got up from the floor and skipped over to Dionysus.
The shoe disappeared in a wisp of dark smoke. Hades glowered from the corner. “No, Hes,” he said, speaking up for the first (and probably only, Zeus thought) time.
Hestia’s face fell. “Aww, but Brother,” she pouted. “You had better make this up to me at our tea party tomorrow!” She flounced back to the hearth.
Hades’ face turned red and he slunk back into the shadows.
Tea party, hmm? Zeus pondered. He would definitely be filing that knowledge away for later blackmail usage.
“Is it your unbirthday tomorrow, Auntie Hes?” Apollo blurted, suddenly excited. He burst into song (again) without waiting for an answer. “A very merry unbirthday to you!”
“Who, me?” Hestia said, innocently.
“Yes you!” Apollo grinned.
Finally Zeus just lost it. “WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY!?”
He grabbed a lightning bolt and pointed it in between Apollo and Dionysus in turn. Ares started chanting “fight, fight, fight!” Everyone ignored him.
“You. Explain. Now.”
“That Walt kid just came out with a new movie and we’re CELEBRATING! God of parties and all that, you know,” Dionysus said with a flourish.
“Oh, you mean Walt Disney?” asked Hestia. She clapped her hands excitedly. “I love him! He’s such a genius…”
Hades scowled in his corner.
The name sounded familiar. Zeus wracked his brain, trying to remember where he had heard – oh. That guy.
He couldn’t take it anymore. Damn that infernal singing – and those stupid movies! He would have to have a little chat with this Walt Disney person sometime soon.
“RECESS!” he boomed. “I’m calling a recess! I expect you all—” he said, with a pointed look at Apollo and Dionysus “—to be punctual and sober when we reconvene tomorrow. Now, if you will just shut up, I have places to be.”
He got up, ignoring Hera’s glare (it was her ‘and-where-exactly-is-that-dearest’ look), and vanished with a clap of thunder and lightning.
Ganymede was waiting for him. Naked.
My night just got awesome, Zeus thought.
“How was the council meeting?” Gany asked, offering him a goblet of wine. Zeus drained it in one go.
“Don’t ask.” Less talk, more sex.
“That well, huh?” Gany reclined back on the bed.
Zeus climbed on top, growling.
“Just no singing.”
THE END