Chapter Text
"Yours is the light by which my spirit's born...you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars." - e. e. cummings
BPOV
Pain.
Pain was all there was. Pain was all there had been and all that would ever be.
Burning. Why wouldn't the burning stop? Why wasn't someone putting it out? When would it end? When would it completely devour me and leave me in ashes? I knew, though, that this fire was not consuming me. It would not end. It would not end.
It felt vaguely familiar, the burning, but worse than before. Oh, God, millions of times worse than before. Then-whenever then had been-it had eaten my hand and had crawled up my arm, I knew that much. Then...someone had stopped it. Someone had put it out. Who had put it out? What angel of mercy had saved me from the burning before? I wanted more than anything to be able to recall his name, his face, but I just couldn't.
I didn't even know my own name. I didn't know who I was, or where I was, who I was with, who had done this to me. What animal was screaming nearby, and why...all these things I didn't know.
"Bella...Bella..."
A word-a name?-whispered in my ear. The breath was hot. I turned away and screamed.
Oh. The guttural screams of the animal being slaughtered was me.
The breath left me alone, but I could still hear the voice, a familiar voice, sobbing. Pleading with me. "Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry."
I couldn't ask who, or why. I could only scream.
After what felt like an eternity, the pain became worse. It started to retreat from my fingers and toes, which I took as a good sign, at first. But the burning intensified where it remained, and my fingers and toes were uncomfortably cold in comparison, and I could not reconcile the two extremes.
The burning continued to retreat, further and further, to the core of my body, until at last, it only occupied my heart. I could feel my poor heart speed up.
This...wasn't so bad. My heart had been through a lot, that much I knew. What, exactly, I didn't know, but for some reason I was glad to know it was still there. I didn't know why I thought it hadn't been.
But the comfort didn't last for long. My heart kept going faster and faster, impossibly fast, and then suddenly, without warning, it stopped. The pain disappeared at the same moment.
I fought the urge to begin gasping, to begin catching my breath. I was surprised to find I didn't need it.
I laid there, still, eyes shut, suddenly afraid. Someone had done this to me, I was certain of it. Were they still here? Were they nearby? Were they friend or foe? Maybe I could play dead.
No, I thought. That was dumb.
I heard stirring nearby. I should have jumped up, started running or fighting, but I was too afraid.
"B-Bella?" a ragged voice asked. The voice sounded so heartbroken, so woebegone that I couldn't help it.
I opened my eyes.