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Bruce really needed to have a briefing with Clark after this meeting was over about what could and could not be a simple mass email. He had called a mandatory meeting an hour ago to discuss the UN’s proposed ideas for how they should handle any property damage and casualties that happen in potential battles.
At first, they had tried asking them to move the battles to places with less civilians but they quickly retracted that upon realizing that it just left a path of destruction in its wake. Now they were trying to find ways to contain the damage and get as many citizens out of the area as quickly as possible.
That system was working well. Bruce had told Dick about it and he had gotten input from many heroes, new and old, about how the system should work and Bruce took their ideas and combined it into a protocol that worked. The only problem now was that they didn’t know what to do with the property damage or the civilians that did get hurt. The heroes, thankfully, had a fully decked out medbay in the watchtower complete with surgeons and nurses of all kinds.
They couldn’t bring civilians up there though because it would cause a security issue and nobody could agree who would pay for the damage. Some thought the heroes should pay, since they were partly responsible, but the idea was quickly shut down when they brought up that superheroing is not a paid gig and most of them work normal nine to fives in their civilian identities and wouldn’t be able to pay a fraction of the price, and that without them stepping in, the damage and devastation would be much worse.
So at the latest UN meeting, the league had sent superman as their liaison since he was one of their leaders and the other two were busy that day and instead of emailing them the contents of the email like a sane person, he made a mandatory meeting as soon as he left.
Normally, Bruce didn’t mind league meetings. They were usually about new strategies, public opinion, and ways they could all improve. However, he also didn’t normally have a horde of feverish kids relying on him at the mansion.
He couldn’t blame Clark, as much as he wanted to. The man didn’t know of his current predicament. That didn’t stop him from glaring at the man every second that he could and willing the meeting to go faster.
Dick was texting him non-stop, having woken up to Bruce gone and a note saying that he would be back soon, and Bruce was trying his best to pay attention and answer at the same time. Unfortunately, he’s not as good at hiding things when he’s worried for his children’s well-being and Clark noticed that he was distracted. He cleared his throat, catching the other man's attention.
“Yes?” Bruce said casually, as if he hadn’t been doing anything that could be seen as disrespectful.
Clark raised his eyebrows, not used to the league members being unapologetic when they got caught getting distracted during meetings. “Are you done, or should we wait for you to finish the conversation whomever you’re texting?”
Bruce stared at him and debated telling him to wait, but the pleading looks of the other league members who could tell what he was thinking and just wanted to get out of there as well convinced him to put his phone away. “Continue.”
Clark smiled, satisfied that he had gotten what he wanted, and continued on. Bruce could feel his phone buzzing in his utility belt and it was joined by buzzing on his emergency phone. He frowned, considering pulling it out. He refrained because Alfred was home as well and since he hadn’t heard the man's ringtone yet, he figured they were just wondering when he would be back.
His phone letting out a shrill ring made him wince unnoticeably. The league's eyes returned to him, though this time more curious than annoyed. “Would you like to get that?” Barry asked, pointing in the vague direction of his cell phone.
Bruce quickly pulled his phone out and checked the messages and caller ID and saw it was just Dick and Jason contacting him to ask where he was. He turned his phone on silent, knowing that Alfred could always use the emergency bypass if it was life-threateningly urgent. “No,” he finally said, unamused by the stares he was still getting. “Continue.”
Warily turning back to the bored, still obviously wanting more context but needing to finish the meeting, Clark continued. He was now discussing some potential funding issues that the UN had brought up and Bruce fought the urge to end the meeting himself because this stuff was usually always in an email after the meeting.
But he had already drawn enough attention to himself, and he didn’t want to deal with any potential questioning about why he was in a hurry to leave nor the people who were desperate to contact him. So he reasoned with himself that all they had to do was use the emergency bypass if they were in serious trouble, and went back to the meeting.
They sat there for what felt like hours listening to Clark drone on and on about the details of his meeting with the UN. At some point during that time, the buzzing had stopped so he figured that whatever they wanted, they had figured out. He calmed down knowing that while his house might be in chaos by the time he got back, nobody was seriously injured.
He should have known though that with all his kids sick that silence on their end was just the calm before the storm. A few minutes into Clark's final point, they all heard the familiar sound of the zeta starting up.
They had all glanced warily at each other. “Is someone missing?” Hal asked, looking over at the members to try and guess who could possibly be coming through.
“Aquaman, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, and Zatanna are all off-world helping some alien parrots quell a civil war, but the rest of us are here,” J’onn assured.
“Then who is coming through the zeta tube?” Diana asked, her hand hovering over her weapon in case someone was trying to break in.
The sound of the AI getting ready to announce their arrivals paused any conversation and regained their attention. “Looks like we’re about to find out,” Barry said, standing to get a better view of the door.
“Nightwing Z-01.”
All the leaguers glanced at each other in confusion. “Nightwing? Z? I’ve never heard of a Nightwing or a Z-level designation,” Diana said, becoming even more concerned when it seemed her confusion was shared amongst her team mates.
“Well they have clearance, so someone has to know who they are,” Clark reasoned. All of the others agreed but nobody fessed up. In their desperate confusion, none of them noticed Batman anxiously looking at the door.
He recognized Nightwing. It was the code name Dick had chosen for himself when he let them all make designations for them to be able to access the watchtower in case of emergencies without setting off the alarm. He only became more worried– and his colleagues more confused– when the computer started up again.
“Spoiler Z-05.”
“Signal Z-04.”
“Parkrowrow Z-09.”
“Park row row?” Hal muttered under his breath in confusion. The other usernames seemed fairly reasonable. He’s pretty sure Parkrowrow was some internet account.
J’onn stood up in his seat. “Where are they all coming from?”
Bruce got more anxious wondering why more of them were coming.
“Black Bat Z-07.”
“Red Hood Z-02.”
“Bluebird Z-08.”
“Red Robin Z-03.”
“Robin Z-06.”
“There’s nine of them?” Barry asked, running over to the computer to see if he could figure out what was going on. He quickly typed something in and gasped looking at Bruce. “They’re all under Batman's sub-designation.”
All the eyes in the room quickly snapped to Bruce, but he found he didn’t care. “Batman care to–” Clark’s demand for an explanation was quickly cut off by a five year old running in the room.
“Baba!” He cried, quickly falling into a short coughing fit then continuing what he was going to say, “Jason keeps trying to make me take the nasty medicine that he doesn’t even take.”
“Baba?” Barry muttered under his breath in confusion. “There's no way he was talking to Batman…right?”
He was quickly proven wrong when he jumped into Bruce's arms the second that there were more footsteps behind him. The next person to run in was a tired and clearly sick young adult that looked exasperated.
“B,” he sighed, seemingly relieved when he saw Batman, “everything is going terribly wrong.”
Everyone glanced over at Batman, half expecting him to send them away and were surprised to see him looking sympathetic. “What’s wrong?” he asked warily.
Before the young adult could answer, seven more kids of varying ages ran in. One with black hair and green eyes spoke up. “What isn’t going wrong?” he asked himself. “Harper and Tim’s cold have turned into stomach aches, the demon brat refuses to take his medicine, Duke can’t talk, Cass and Steph have tried to sneak out twice , Alfred went to the store hours ago to get more soup but got stuck there because of a bomb threat, Cullen can’t sleep because he has a headache and got upset with everyone because they wouldn’t shut up and made his headache worse, Dick is trying to take care of everyone but he keeps getting light headed and having to take a break, and you wouldn’t answer your phone!”
The league couldn’t look away as the obviously stressed teen started pacing around the room. “So we had to go to the cave to try and use the emergency phone but then we couldn’t remember the code and when we finally got in, you wouldn’t answer that either. Then we had to figure out how to work the zeta’s to get up here but before we could, Cullen started crying because his headache got so bad. Then he had to scavenge the house for advil but we were all out of it.”
He took a pause to take in a breath. The league was mildly impressed Batman hadn’t told him to give him a condensed version like he did with them. They became even more impressed when the kid started talking in Spanish and Batman not only treated it like it was normal, but he managed to follow along perfectly even though he was talking so fast, they weren’t sure he was separating his words properly.
“Cuando finalmente encontramos el último trozo de excedrin, nos dirigimos hasta aquí, pero luego el tubo funcionó mal y podría estar roto y y–”
“Jason,” Bruce said calmly, stopping his panicked spiral. “Take a couple of deep breaths.” While the kid– Jason, apparently– did that, he turned to the young adult that came in first. “Dick, I’m sorry I left and didn’t communicate with you. I should have answered the phone to make sure you all were okay.”
The league all blanched back at that. Batman never gave them apologies, even if he was in the wrong. If he noticed, he didn’t acknowledge them and continued speaking to the man in front of him. “If you were that stressed out and Alfred was gone, why did you not use the emergency bypass?”
Everyone looked to him, wanting to know that themselves. The league didn’t doubt that Batman had some form of panic button for them as he had been the one to implement one on their comms. Sometimes with all the back and forth chatter, it was easy to miss anyone who couldn’t talk loudly due to them being in distress. The emergency button lowered the volume of everyone else until the person who pressed it was done talking so that they could get the help they needed quickly without completely disrupting any collaboration or conversation going on between the others.
Dick looked down, ashamed of what he was about to say. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
Bruce frowned, but not the frown the others were used to. The frowns they got were calculating and cold, meant to make them feel stupid for doing whatever they had done to earn it. This frown was sympathetic, pained even.
“Chum, you could never bother me. Especially if you’re not feeling well.” He looked around at the gaggle of kids, coming to an upsetting realization. “Did all of you think that it would be bothering me if any of you used the emergency bypass?”
They all nodded solemnly and Batman made a noise none of the league knew he was capable of making. He was hurt. Instead of discussing it then and there, he turned to the league, addressing them for the first time since the people started appearing. “Can we declare this meeting over?” he asked, somehow going right back into his Batman persona.
Clark snapped out of his stunned stupor and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. I can uh, put the rest of this in an email.” He stood up straighter slipping back into his authoritative persona and addressed the entire team. “Meeting over, everyone is dismissed.” Even though they were all eager to leave before, none of them made a move now, too curious to know what would happen with Batman and the others.
Going back to ignoring their stares, Bruce turned to them and gave them a soft smile. “The meeting is over now, so how about this,” the kids all perked up a bit wondering what his solution would be, “you all go back home,” they deflated a bit, thinking he would go back to work, “and I will go to the store to clear up the bomb threat and get Alfred. When we get back we can have some soup and relax in the study. And when you’ve all eaten, you will take your medicine and we can have a cuddle pile in my bed and sleep the sick away.”
The kids all seemed to agree with this plan and started slowly filling out the door. Soon, only Dick remained. “Sorry for interrupting your meeting, B,” he said, balancing a half-sleep Damian on his hip.
Bruce frowned for what seemed like the hundredth time since his kids arrived. “Dick, it should be me apologizing to you. You and your siblings will always be more important than my night job. Please don’t ever hesitate to call me through emergency bypass or come up to the watchtower if you need me.”
Dick smiled and nodded. “I’ll see you back at the manor, B. Bye Justice League.” The league all muttered various goodbyes as he left the room.
Once he was gone, they all turned to Batman. He sighed, “Those were my kids. I didn’t tell them about you for safety reasons. Yes, I gave them Zeta designations without consulting anyone, but I don’t regret it, seeing as I did contribute the most to the creation of them. Any other questions?”
Hal opened his mouth to ask one but he was elbowed in the side and given a glare by Barry. “Go take care of your family, Batman,” Diana said with a smile.
Bruce gave him a curt nod and made his way to the zetas. Once they heard it shut off, they all turned back to each other. “Batman with kids,” J’onn said, not unkindly, “who would’ve thought.”
“I actually knew,” Barry said with a smile. “I babysit when Batman is busy and sometimes I come over for dinner.”
Everyone looked at him surprised. Barry was the last person any of them expected to know anything about Batman’s secret identity. He smirked at all of their shocked looks. “Batsy and I go way back. Plus, my nephew and his oldest are dating and have been best friends long before. It’s not like he could’ve kept me away if he tried.”
Hal looked at his best friend, who he thought he knew everything about. “You just casually babysit Batman's kids?”
Barry smirked. “Yep!” At that moment, his phone went off and he smiled brightly. “And I’ve just been invited to hang out and eat tomato soup, so if you don’t mind.” He ran off before anyone could ask anymore questions and left all of them in shock.