Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Senjuro–san,

I hope you’ve been in good health. This summer has been a long one but, upon looking back, it feels as though no time has passed at all. Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent most of it under Kocho-sama’s care. It seems like I’m always getting myself hurt in some way. Her estate has become a kind of second home for me. I think Zenitsu and Inosuke feel similarly.

They’ve been working very hard to become stronger. Seeing them push themselves inspires me to keep going! Oftentimes it feels like the odds are stacked staggeringly high against us. But being together makes it easier. Things don’t feel so impossible this way.

Senjuro clutched Tanjiro’s most recent letter, abusing the inside of his lip as he glanced back over it. It had now been four months since Tanjiro came to visit him - four months after his brother’s death. Tanjiro wrote to him often, recounting his progress in rehabilitation training. Senjuro was glad to keep up with him. But, with each letter, the differences between them grew ever obvious. As Tanjiro continued to rush forward, Senjuro was ever stagnant.

Seeing them push themselves inspires me to keep going!

He carefully refolded the letter as he mulled over Tanjiro’s words. He had picked his own training back up a couple months ago. At some point, he stopped feeling so hopeless and instead felt horribly frustrated. He had no real reason to. He’d given up on the idea of slaying demons, the dream of taking up the torch. But the activity was a good distraction and it broke up the monotony of housework. Then again, couldn’t it be considered a waste of time?

Senjuro sighed. He wanted so desperately to move, to make some kind of difference - to stop being stagnant. He was no good with a sword, he understood that all too well. He barely managed to survive his Final Selection. It was by the good grace of those with him and his own frantic flailing that allowed him to pass. Just about his only skills were those in housework and writing. What good was it? What good was he?

He filed Tanjiro's letter away along with the others. He set out paper and began mixing ink. He intended to write a reply, just as he always did. He dipped his brush in the fresh ink, wiped off the excess, and began.

Tanjiro-san,

And that was all. As ink came to paper, he realized he didn’t know what he wanted to write. He could tell Tanjiro that he had been well but was that really true? Perhaps in health but certainly not in mind.

The letter sat abandoned like that for some time. He’d revisit it frequently, gazing at its mostly bare face and try - oh, how he’d try - to conjure something meaningful with words. Nothing ever seemed to come to him. It stayed that way for days, then weeks. Eventually, the sight of it added to his frustration. But he couldn’t in good conscience ignore his friend. He needed to reply. Wanted to.

His frustration didn’t go unnoticed. Specifically his new habit of sighing, the way he’d scrub a bit too harshly, or how the thrust of a wooden sword would quickly become clumsy thrashings. His father - who’d become rather frustrated himself after forcing himself to sober up - would ask about it. Senjuro, still without a good answer, would smile and simply say,

“I’m just lost in thought.”

And that he was. He had a lot of time to think. Housework was monotonous and it was easy to slip into one’s imagination. Often he wondered where he might be come this time next year. Always it seemed so obvious to him that he’d be right where he was at that moment: taking care of his ancestral home and his recovering alcoholic father. But then he’d toy with “what if’s”, and that was when he truly became lost.

What if he did become a slayer? He’d already passed Final Selection so, in theory, he could pick up the work at any time. But that seemed more a way to find himself a quick death than anything else. He was not his brother or his father, or any of those before them. He had no talent with a sword or with Flame Breathing. And, truthfully, he was terrified. Anyone in their right mind would be though. That was the difference between himself and the others; his self-preservation outweighed his selflessness.

What if he joined the Kakushi? He was certainly more equipped for the work than he was for slaying. Yet Kakushi were expected to hold many secrets including their very identities. It was honorable work, no doubt, but - if word got out he had joined them - shame could easily be cast on his family’s name. But wasn’t shame already cast? If he never took the torch, if he didn’t continue the long, ancient line of Flame Pillars…

He scrubbed through the stitching of a juban. He panicked, got up to fetch needle and thread, then remembered the thing was soaking wet. There was nothing to do about it now, not until it was dry. Then it all felt rather symbolic. The snapping of thread. The desperate need, the horrible want to fix it right away. And the dawning realization that nothing can be done. Some part of himself must think him a poet. No, it was a simple inconvenience.

But, was he not a snapping thread?

Eventually, the juban was mended and put away. An easy fix. The same could not be said of Senjuro.

Another day went by, another revisit to his unfinished letter. It was then he realized that he didn’t even remember what it was he was replying to. He fetched Tanjiro’s most recent letter and reread it.

I’ve spent most of it under Kocho-sama’s care.

Kocho-sama… She was the Insect Pillar if he recalled correctly. He met her once, maybe twice, in passing. She ran a hospital, that much he knew for sure. Senjuro had been allowed to visit Kyojuro there once while he was bedridden. That was years ago though and Kocho-sama had been very busy. He supposed she must still be busy today. Being a Pillar is hard enough work as it is. The rare times Kyojuro was home, he was wrecked. Senjuro couldn’t imagine being a doctor on top of that.

She must need a lot of help, Senjuro thought, refolding the letter.

What if he helped her? Now that was an idea. Fresh and exciting. And certainly within his reach. He didn’t know the first thing about medicinal care but there had to be plenty of other ways he could help, right? Hospitals need to house lots of patients. There needs to be clean beds and clothes, and plenty of cooked meals. Those were certainly things he could handle. He’s been doing that already for years now, though on a much smaller scale.

He turned the idea over and over in his head as he toiled away with chores and laid awake waiting for sleep. He liked the idea and thought to make it a reality but the matter of his father held him back.

It had been a few months now, but the matter of Kyojuro’s death was still fresh on their minds. Senjuro had come to realize as Shinjuro sobered that his presence was a source of comfort for the man. He’d lost his wife and his eldest son but, with Senjuro, he wasn’t yet alone. There was still tension between them - it was hard to forgive and forget a drunk’s actions. But Senjuro also couldn’t ignore his father’s progress, the work he put in to sober up and stay sober. Senjuro was proud of his father for that. Yet he worried that if he proposed leaving, his father may not take it well.

Though Senjuro would still be alive and well, Shinjuro would still lose him. He’d be alone then. And he may falter again. Senjuro worried over it, then made himself scared. His father was a grown man and yet he felt as though he must care for him the way a mother tends to a volatile child. Pacifying and ever-present.

I’m imagining the worst, he reasoned. It won’t be that way.

Still, he worried.

He slept poorly and rose feeling sick. Languidly, he prepared breakfast. He ate slowly yet couldn’t stomach more than a few bites.

“What’s wrong with you?” His father asked over the table. It was a harsh-toned question but a genuine one.

“Nothing!” Senjuro assured poorly. “I’ve just been thinking.”

“That’s all you seem to do now.” Senjuro couldn’t argue that - it was true. He bowed his head almost shamefully. Shinjuro continued, his tone a bit gentler. “What’s there to think so much about anyways?”

“Well…” Senjuro thought how to explain himself concisely. Then he wondered about dancing around the question. But what good was avoiding the subject? It would only come up again later.

“I want to do more.” Shinjuro raised a thick eyebrow at this. Senjuro fumbled as he continued. “I mean- I want to do more to help! Everyone! Well, the Corps specifically but.. I just- I think I can do more.”

Shinjuro didn’t seem to react. Senjuro felt his face getting hot and his palms starting to clam. He looked away from his father, thoroughly embarrassed. It was a stupid idea. What good could he really do? Someone like him; a failure and a family disgrace. He didn’t need to do more. He was best off as he was - out of sight and out of harm’s way.

“How might you go about that?” Shinjuro questioned, finally breaking the silence that had come to envelop them. Senjuro looked up, surprised. Here he’d been expecting to be called stupid, hit over the head, and sent to work. But it hadn’t been that way for a while. Shinjuro had become.. More careful. He spoke slower these days, seeming to mull his words over before speaking. It was a good thing, but sometimes it scared Senjuro.

“I- Well, I was thinking about maybe talking to Kocho-sama - the Insect Pillar.”

“I know Kocho,” Shinjuro interjected.

“Right! She runs a hospital-”

“I know that too,”

“Well, I thought I might help her there!” Senjuro managed to get it out. “I mean, it’s a lot of work to run a hospital, right? She could use all the help she can get! I don’t know anything about medicine but I could maybe help with the cleaning? I do all the cleaning here at home so I know how to do it right. I mean, well, there’s probably much more to do at a hospital.. No, there’s definitely more but-”

“I think it’s a good idea,” Shinjuro said, interrupting Senjuro’s nervous rambling.

“I- Really?” Senjuro was surprised again. Shinjuro nodded, humming into his tea. Everything Senjuro had been worrying about, had been making himself sick over, suddenly evaporated.

“You’re not your brother; you’ve got no talent.” Shinjuro explained to which Senjuro deflated a bit. “But, it’s obvious that you’re passionate. That’s why you’re so frustrated, right? You want to help people but you don’t know how to. Until now.”

Senjuro perked back up as he digested his father’s words. That was.. Exactly how he felt. His father recognized it, and was encouraging him. This was so much more than he could have asked for. His imagined best case scenario was an indifferent reaction from his father, and the internal debating of whether to see it through or not. The reality was much, much better.

He felt his eyes start to sting as tears began to prick up. He rubbed at them to keep himself from crying but they poured out regardless.

“What’s wrong with you now?!” Shinjuro asked, raising his voice.

“Sorry! I’m sorry! I’m just really happy,”

After all that - the months of not knowing what to do with himself, the weeks of not knowing what to say to Tanjiro - the resolution came about swiftly.

After breakfast, Senjuro cleaned up and packed a few things to bring with him. It wasn’t a long journey to Kocho’s hospital but it would take the better part of the day. He wandered about the house, worrying over what he might need or if he was forgetting anything important. Eventually, Shinjuro found him, led him to the door, and forcibly saw him off.

“If you forgot anything, you can come back for it. Get going or it’ll get dark before you arrive.” Shinjuro said, leaning against the threshold. “And, Senjuro?”

“Yes?”

Shinjuro was quiet for a moment. He was thinking over his words again. Senjuro tried not to fidget, feeling awkward.

“Take care of yourself.”

“You too, father.” Senjuro returned with a small smile. He waved and turned around, walking out the gate.

And, with a few more steps down the narrow, residential street, Senjuro suddenly felt full of life. He felt light and airy and unstoppable. He began to run out of excitement until he realized he hadn’t any idea which way to go. He stopped, looked around, tried to remember the last time he’d gone to visit Kocho’s, and drew a blank. Vaguely he knew the way but it would be much too easy to get lost. And getting lost could be disastrous-

Something swooped low and he jerked downwards. There was the flapping of wings and, looking now, Senjuro found Kaname - Kyojuro’s kasugai crow - perched atop a nearby fence. Senjuro breathed a sigh of relief with a hand on his chest.

“You startled me,” He said with a breathy laugh. “Do you know the way to Kocho-sama’s?”

Kaname didn’t reply but he looked off to the distance then back down at Senjuro. Kaname never did speak much, even when Kyojuro was alive. For a long time, Senjuro had thought he was mute or simply shy. But, when things were serious, he would cry loudly. It was certainly a shock the first time.

“Will you show me?” Senjuro asked. The crow obliged him, spreading his wings and diving from the fence to take off. Senjuro followed him, running a bit to catch up.

It was a hot, humid day buzzing with the constant drone of cicadas. There was an occasional breeze that Senjuro cherished, stopping in his tracks until it passed. And it was a small blessing each time a heavy cloud hid the sun. Though fleeting, the shade was wonderful respite. But those same gracious clouds worried him of coming rain. He could only hope it would hold until he arrived.

He smelled the manor before he could see it. Floral aromas were thick in the air like a generously applied perfume. When the mansion came into view, brightly colored hydrangeas caught his eye. They surrounded the house alongside nestled milkweed and cosmos. Various butterflies fluttered about, drawn in by the smell of nectar just as he had been.

Kaname perched upon the gate’s threshold, preening. Senjuro thanked him before allowing himself through the gate. The hydrangeas continued along the well-kept path, leading to an entrance and around the house. Senjuro reached the entrance and slid open one of the doors. It was surprisingly dark inside.

“Hello?” He called, stepping inside. He waited for a reply but none came. Was it possible no one was home? But, with a hospital, was it possible to have no patients? Besides, wasn’t Tanjiro supposed to be staying here? Though, that was news from weeks ago. It was likely he’d recuperated and went off on another mission by now.

Senjuro wondered about this as he slowly crept out of the house. It was a big house. Perhaps there was just no one nearby that particular wing. He continued down the path and around the house. He found more butterflies dancing around what appeared to be an herb garden. Then something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Looking at it now, it was linen sheets bellowing in the breeze. Someone had hung out laundry to dry.

They’ll get wet again if it rains, Senjuro thought as he approached them. He set his things down to touch one of the sheets. Finding it dry, he reached to pull it off the rod it hung upon.

“Hey!” Someone shouted, startling him. “Just what do you think you’re doing?” Senjuro turned to look at who it was only to find a rather irritated-looking girl marching over to him.

“I’m sorry! I just didn’t-”

“Sorry? Oh, you’ll be sorry when I’m done with you, thief!” She spat, pulling one of her sleeves past her elbow.

“Thief?” Senjuro repeated, confused. “Ah, no, no! It’s not like that!” He waved his hands, trying to dismiss the idea.

“Then what is it like?!”

“I just wanted to take them down! Before it starts to rain!” Senjuro explained, pointing up at the gray clouds overhead. The girl gave him a quizzical look as if to test him.

“And why would you do that, huh? Did anyone ask you to?” She interrogated.

“Uh, no. No one asked me to. I just got here. I just thought- Well, I didn’t see anyone around and I know how much of a pain it is to have laundry rained on!”

“Well, that’s very considerate of you.” The girl seemed to relax a bit but her brow remained knitted. “But I don’t need nor want your help! I’ve had enough excitement for today so I don’t need you scaring me into thinking our sheets are being stolen.” She turned away from Senjuro as she began pulling the linens down and folding them neatly.

“Ah, I’m sorry.” Senjuro apologized. He was quiet for a moment, awkwardly watching her work before continuing. “I actually came here to speak with Kocho-sama.”

“Well, she’s busy.” The girl replied bluntly.

“I understand. That’s actually why-”

“Besides, she’s not in a good mood right now! You’re better off leaving and coming back tomorrow. Though, there’s no telling if she’ll even be here tomorrow.”

“Well, then all the more reason for me to speak with her now, right?” Senjuro argued. “I mean, I don’t want to bother her but, since her schedule is so erratic, I should take the opportunity to see her while I can!”

“Look! We’re all really agitated right now so unless it’s an emergency, come back later. Tell me your name and I’ll let her know that you came by, okay?”

“I- Okay,” Senjuro relented. “Rengoku Senjuro.”

“Ren-” The girl started before looking at him with disbelief. “Rengoku?”

“Uh, yes?” Senjuro cocked an eyebrow at her. She hit herself lightly on the forehead.

“Ugh, it’s so obvious just by looking at you! I should have known. Give me a minute.” She quickly tore down the rest of the sheets and, without bothering to fold them, stuffed them into a basket. She lifted it up with some effort and awkwardly started to carry it.

“Come with me,” She said.

“Um, okay! Do you need any help?” He asked as he followed after her.

“Just get the door for me, would you?”

“Of course!” Senjuro rushed to walk in front of her and slide open the door they were approaching. Once inside, the girl dropped the basket and leaned back with her hands on her hips.

“Ugh, okay.” She said as she finished stretching. “I’m going to…” She patted her thighs as she thought aloud. “Let Kocho-sama know you’re here. She’s doing a check-up right now so it might be a while. But I’ll show you somewhere you can wait. Alright?”

“Alright!” Senjuro repeated, feeling a bit nervous.

The girl started to walk rather quickly down the hall and Senjuro followed, struggling to keep up with her pace. He watched her long pigtails bounce with each stride, the blue butterfly clips holding them seeming almost to flutter. He gathered what he could of his surroundings as they quickly passed them by. There were many rooms, some with multiple beds lined up in a neat row, others with just one or two. They were all empty.

That’s good, Senjuro supposed. Everyone must be okay then.

They reached a flight of stairs and quickly ascended. The girl didn’t slow down though. Senjuro found himself wishing to have been blessed with better stamina. Fortunately, they soon reached their destination. The girl showed him a small bench to rest on while he waited. She knocked on a nearby door before being allowed inside. She was gone only for a moment before reappearing.

“She’ll see you in a bit,” She reported. “The patient she’s with is always…” She thought of appropriate phrasing. “A handful. Yea, let’s put it like that.”

“Not very cooperative then?” Senjuro inquired.

“Hm, not necessarily. More so demanding.” She explained with a smile. “Kanzaki Aoi, by the way.”

“Ah, thank you, Kanzaki-san!”

“You’re welcome. Don’t ask me for anything else, please. I’ve got a lot of work to get back to.”

“I won’t!”

“Back to it, then!” Kanzaki said, mostly to herself. She went back the way they had come, disappearing around the corner.

So Senjuro waited, fidgeting with his hands and with his small collection of luggage. Alone now, he began to worry himself once more. What if he spoke to her only to be told she didn’t need anymore help? What if he came all the way here for nothing? Or worse yet, what if he did start work here but found he wasn’t cut out for it? What if he realized he truly was useless? What if-

The door slammed open, scaring the daylights out of him. A tall, broad-shouldered boy barged out before turning around to look back into the room he just exited.

“If you can’t even do that, I don’t know why I bother still coming all the way out here to fucking see you! It’s bullshit, and you know it!” He jabbed a finger presumably at Kocho. “Just tell it to me straight. Don’t lie to my damn face!”

“I’ll see you next month then, Shinazugawa-kun?” A sweet voice replied from within the room.

“Fuck off!” The boy, Shinazugawa, shouted before slamming the door closed. He turned to walk down the hall, momentarily locking eyes with Senjuro who stared on in horror.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Shinazugawa spat. Senjuro quickly looked down at the floor, digging his nails into the wood grain of the bench. The boy huffed and stomped off. Senjuro didn’t relax until his footfalls disappeared completely.

A handful, Senjuro recalled Kanzaki’s words. An understatement for sure.

He heard the door open again, this time much slower. He looked up to see Kocho. It had been a few years but she looked about the same. Though, her hair was longer now. She gave him a soft smile despite what had just transpired.

“You can come in now, Rengoku-kun.” She said as she stepped out into the hall and gestured towards the room. Senjuro stood up, collected his things, and entered. The room was a fully-stocked doctor’s office. Diagrams were hung neatly on the wall displaying anatomical parts and their names. Instruments and equipment were set aside and organized. Against one wall was a bed, the other a large desk covered in heavy books and writing paper. On the corner of the desk was a small, circular fish tank. A few fat goldfish lazily swam about inside. There were two chairs, one in front of the desk and the other set off to the side. Senjuro was sat in the latter, Kocho the former.

“You’ll have to forgive us for not being more accommodating at the moment.” She started, tidying her desk as she spoke. “There was an.. Incident this morning. I think it’s left us all a bit frazzled.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Kanzaki-san mentioned that it might be a bad time. What might have happened?” Senjuro inquired.

“Oh, nothing for you to worry about! Just a little misunderstanding. It’s something for me and the Sound Pillar to work out later.” She smiled but there was poison in her voice. Quickly, her tone changed into something sweeter. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?”

“I- Well..” Senjuro struggled to start. “I’ve had a lot of time to think lately. With Kyojuro gone, things have been really quiet. There’s not much to do at home now. And I’ve been speaking with Tanjiro-san frequently - well - writing to him that is. Recently, he wrote to me mentioning you, and I thought.. Well, I just…” He trailed off, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He looked to Kocho for her reaction but she simply held her smile, listening intently.

“I thought I might like to help you. Around the hospital, I mean! With cleaning and such! Because it seems like a lot to do. And - not that Kanzaki-san isn’t capable! She’s a very fast and hard working person from what I can tell. I just- It seems like she needs some help here and there.” Senjuro concluded, face flushed. Kocho waited a moment, thinking or perhaps allowing him time to add more if he liked. Then she sighed.

“That’s a relief!” She said, “You had me worried - showing up so suddenly. I thought something bad had happened. Rengoku-sama always fretted over you and listening to him had me fretting too. He even asked me to look after you if anything ever happened.”

“Oh?” Senjuro couldn’t believe it. Well, he could but it was surprising to hear.

“Oh indeed. Of course, I obliged. That’s what you do as friends - you look after things when they’re gone.” Kocho looked across the room to the large window. She was quiet for a while and Senjuro thought to speak but she beat him to it.

“So you want to help out?” She looked back at him.

“Yes, very much so!”

“Good. We can definitely use another set of hands. Like you said, Aoi has a lot to do. The Caterpillars can only do so much.”

“Caterpillars?” Senjuro questioned.

“Ah, the other girls! They’re much younger than you and Aoi. They can’t do much to help but they try their best. You’ll run into them sooner rather than later.” Kocho explained and continued. “Did you go through Final Selection?”

“Ah, yes!” Senjuro answered before adding quietly, “Not very well though.”

“You and Aoi have something in common then.” She said with a smile. “If you have your uniform, I’ll ask you to wear it while you’re here. The hospital is a branch of the Corps so we may be targeted. Besides, you’re a member of the Corps, slayer or otherwise.”

“I’m glad I brought it with me then,” He’d worried that he might have to prove his passing of Final Selection so he dug it out of storage.

“You’ll be paid, of course. And I’ll have Aoi show you the ropes. Not much to do than get into the thick of things.” Kocho concluded before adding. “Was there anything else?”

“No, just..” Senjuro hesitated. “Thank you, Kocho-sama.”

“Whatever for?”

“For being such a good friend to my brother. And for seeing me.” He smiled at her sweetly, but Kocho only saw Kyojuro. He was smaller now and a nervous talker but he was there and he was as bright as ever. And she was happy to have his warmth back.

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───

After speaking with Kocho, Senjuro spent the rest of the day firmly by Kanzaki’s side. She gave him a thorough tour of the manor - the house and the hospital connected to it. There were many, many rooms and most looked nearly identical to the last. It seemed an easy task to get lost but, fortunately, Kanzaki was there to guide him.

He was introduced to the girls that Kocho had so lovingly referred to as the Caterpillars. There were three of them, all around the same age and very excitable. Senjuro worried he wouldn’t be able to differentiate them but he managed. There was Naho who wore green butterfly clips and her hair in braids. Then Kiyo, who had a sparse fringe and used her pink butterfly clips to keep her long hair neatly behind her ears. Lastly, there was Sumi, who looked remarkably similar to Kanzaki. She wore her hair in pigtails and adorned them with blue butterflies, just as Kanzaki did. Senjuro had mistaken them for sisters but was quickly corrected.

“None of us are related,” Kanzaki explained. “Though, we all live together so I guess that makes us kind of like a family?”

That was an exciting idea. Though the girls weren’t related and all of their reasons for being in that manor were likely unfortunate, they were together and they seemed happy. They could rely on each other and Kocho was a good mentor. It was a sort of life that Senjuro wasn’t used to. He’d never really been around women or girls. His mother had died when he was still too young to remember her. Kyojuro, when he was alive, had grown distant as he grew busier. And the relationship he had with his father was… Well, there was much to be desired.

He continued this trail of thoughts as he laid in his newly assigned futon. About the only thing he could compare it to was the relationship he held with Mitsuri. Though they didn’t speak much anymore, he considered her to be an older sister. She was excitable like the Caterpillars - she talked too fast, too loudly and she’d bounce into her words. She cared a great deal about everyone around her and she made sure they knew. She was a lot like his brother in that way too.

He wondered if it would be too presumptuous of him to write her a letter. Then, he was reminded of his abandoned reply to Tanjiro.

Where is Tanjiro? He wondered, staring into the dark of his little room. It had been quite some time since he’d received Tanjiro’s last letter. He very well could be anywhere.

Senjuro woke with a start at the sound of a sharp knock. Kanzaki called to him through the door, rousing him to wake up and get ready. He really had no idea what time it was without any windows in his room and no clocks to reference.

He recalled Kocho asking him to wear his uniform, and crawled out of his futon. He folded it neatly before retrieving his small box of belongings. Opening it, he found his uniform. And it was then he realized he’d never actually worn it. He’d received it after his sword and, by that point, it was clearly established he had no talent as a swordsman. When his uniform arrived, it was nothing but salt in the wound. So it was stowed and hidden away.

He changed quickly, trying not to think too much about it.

Leaving the room, he found the windows dark. The faintest of grays poured in through them, hardly enough to cast even a shadow. It had to be dawn.

Kanzaki retrieved him and led him to the kitchen. Quietly, they worked together, preparing breakfast and prepping for meals later in the day. Kanzaki brought meals to Kocho and her tsuguko, Tsuyuri. According to Kanzaki, they had only just returned. It seemed they - much like Kyojuro - disappeared in the evening and returned home at dawn. They’d thoroughly adapted to the schedule of their prey. Such was the life of a demon slayer.

The Caterpillars were roused shortly after and the five of them ate together. The young girls were much less lively in the early morning. It was a bit of a shock for Senjuro to see them so mopey and lugubrious. But they seemed to perk up after their meal, and they were quick to action after Kanzaki assigned them their chores for the day.

Senjuro was kept attached to Kanzaki’s hip while she trained him. He followed her around like a hopeless stray as she rushed about the mansion. Up and down stairs they went, from one wing to the next, inside and out. All that walking was enough to leave one exhausted on its own but then there was the work on top of that. And it all had to be done quickly and with precision.

Kanzaki kept a Western-style pocket watch in her apron, and she checked it religiously. After each task, she’d retrieve it and read the time. She’d recount how long it took them to do something and whether or not they could do better. Senjuro supposed that the watch was about the only thing that kept her on top of everything. There was much work to do and only so much time in the day to do it.

In the afternoon, they went out to collect the laundry they had hung up in the morning. They helped each other fold the linens so they didn’t touch the ground. It was monotonous and there was quite a bit to do so they talked.

“I meant to ask earlier but everything happened rather quickly and it slipped my mind.” Senjuro started, remembering the question he had last night. “Kamado Tanjiro has been staying here, hasn’t he?”

“Yes, why?” Kanzaki replied, bringing her end of the sheet towards him.

“Well, we’ve been exchanging letters for a while and, in his last, he mentioned Kocho-sama. That’s actually partly the reason I came here!” He explained as he took the sheet to finish folding it by himself.

“What’s your point?”

“Where is he now? I’m assuming on a mission but do you know when he left or where he went?”

Kanzaki didn’t reply. Senjuro stopped and looked up at her. She was staring off into the distance, her lips drawn downwards. She furrowed her brow before pulling the next sheet down with far more force than was necessary. Senjuro opened his mouth to ask what was the matter but-

“He left yesterday. Some hours before you arrived.” Kanzaki finally answered, shoving the sheet towards him.

“Wait, really?” Senjuro questioned, fumbling with the linen.

“Yes, I remember it clearly! Something like that isn’t easy to forget.”

“What do you mean?” Kanzaki stared at him for a moment before sighing.

“You remember how I mentioned an incident?” Senjuro nodded. “Well, Kamado was involved.”

“I don’t understand,”

“Let me explain,” Kanzaki said before taking a moment to gather her thoughts. “The Sound Pillar needed someone to accompany him on his mission. He saw my uniform, assumed I was a slayer, and grabbed me.”

“Grabbed you?”

“Yes, grabbed me! Pay attention!” She shouted before continuing. “He also grabbed Naho without realizing she wasn’t wearing a uniform. Anyways, there was a lot of commotion but, unfortunately, Kocho-sama wasn’t home at the time. She’d gone to make a house-call. Kanao was with us and she tried to help but she doesn’t really have any authority even as a tsuguko. But Kamado and his friends returned from separate missions and offered to go in my place.”

“That’s horrible!” Senjuro managed to get out, almost speechless.

“Kocho-sama wasn’t pleased to hear about it either.”

“Yes, she mentioned a misunderstanding she had with the Sound Pillar but I never imagined!” Things grew quiet between them for a while as they focused back on the work at hand.

“Kamado and the others should be in Yoshiwara right now.” Kanzaki concluded. “You could probably send a crow if you want to talk to him.” Senjuro shook his head.

“I don’t want to bother him while he’s on a mission. Besides, he’s been staying here a while so it’s likely he’ll return when he’s done. I’ll just wait for him to get back!”

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───

The next few days passed quickly. There was a lot to do and even more to learn. Kanzaki taught him how to properly make the hospital beds and how to handle soiled linens. He was shown how to take a patient’s vitals then made to practice it again and again until it was exact. Kanzaki explained the forms they filled out while working with a patient and why it was crucial they were accurate.

“One small mistake can cost someone their life. You cannot afford to be careless.”

Her words echoed in his mind as he laid awake. It terrified him. The idea of messing up, of missing something miniscule and it resulting in death. He figured that that must be another reason Kanzaki worked so diligently, double checking everything she did. He was fortunate to have her watching over him but his training period couldn’t last forever. Sooner rather than later he would be expected to perform tasks on his own.

Suddenly, he felt rather sick. He curled into himself and tried to quiet his thoughts. He needed to sleep, had to sleep. There was no sense in working himself up over the what if’s. He had no control over what the future might hold. He just had to focus on the present, do what he could now. Kanzaki was always there, she would make sure everything was in order. She would.

A loud banging woke him up and it was only then he realized he managed to fall asleep. Someone was shouting from outside but it was too muffled to make out. He jumped to his feet and out into the hall. His room was on the ground floor as well as Kanzaki’s and the Caterpillars’ so, if anyone came by in the night, they would be nearby to answer. He made his way to the entrance where the banging and shouting continued and grew ever desperate. He opened the door cautiously but it was quickly pushed aside entirely by whomever was outside.

Several people rushed past him and into the house. He thought to try and stop them but quickly recognized their uniforms as those of Kakushi. It was hard to make out in the dark but they seemed to be carrying people on their backs. Then, the smell of blood hit his nose.

Oh.

“Is Kocho-sama here?!” One of them asked, voice urgent.

“I- I don’t believe-” Senjuro tried, voice shaky.

“Rengoku!” A familiar voice called from the end of the hall. He turned to find Kanzaki rushing towards him, already dressed in her uniform and smock. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I was- The door,” He struggled.

“You don’t open the door without your uniform on! What if it was a demon? What would you have done?” She asked, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t- I-”

“You know for next time. Get dressed! We’re having an early start today!” She released him and followed after the Kakushi. Senjuro stood alone in the dark entryway, the door still open behind him. He turned to close it and found himself dizzy. He steadied himself against the wall for a moment before returning to his room. His legs nearly gave out under him. He started undressing and found his hands shaking. He struggled with the buttons on his uniform. And a sudden sense of urgency came over him as he felt he was moving much too slowly, like he was wading through water.

He pushed himself to move faster, even just a little bit. He found himself following the sound of many voices into one wing of the hospital. Kanzaki was quick to take control of the situation, ordering the Kakushi to put this there and bring her that. He stood rather awkwardly in the threshold not knowing what to do with himself until Kanzaki caught sight of him.

“Don’t just stand there, Rengoku! I need you to boil some water. Quickly!”

“Y-Yes!” Senjuro took a step towards the kitchen, realized it was the wrong direction, and tripped over himself. He steadied himself and rushed down the hall. In the kitchen, he put the kettle on and… Waited. There was nothing to do then but wait for the water to boil. But it didn’t feel right to just stand and do nothing. He fidgeted relentlessly and paced about the room. It was still pitch black outside, there was no way for him to know how long it would be until dawn, until Kocho arrived.

The kettle started its shrill cry and Senjuro was quick to take it off the stove. He poured the water into a large bowl and, with a towel to keep his hands from burning, carried it back. Upon his return, the room was calmer but not quite settled. Kanzaki and the Kakushi were hovering around one bed.

He walked around them, looking for a suitable place to set the water down. As he glanced around, something familiar caught his attention.

Oh, gods.

It was Tanjiro. Senjuro suddenly felt entirely all too weak. He lost his grip on the bowl and it clattered to the floor, spilling hot water everywhere.

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───
Things were quiet the following morning. Too quiet even. Kanzaki wasn’t happy with him, that much was certain. He had lost what little nerve he had at a critical moment and made her job harder than it needed to be. The exact opposite of what he had wanted to do by coming there.

He grew meek around her and avoided getting in her way. She set him on checking vitals and he went quietly.

Now that they were stable, Tanjiro and the others seemed rather peaceful if not a bit worse for wear. They had worried over the boar-head one - Inosuke, if he recalled correctly - the most. He’d been impaled through the chest and badly poisoned. Kanzaki worried a great deal about him until Kocho arrived. She was able to effectively stabilize Inosuke despite her exhausting patrol. She wrote out necessary prescriptions for Kanzaki to follow and retired. And she held that signature smile of hers all the while. It was something to behold.

He pondered how she managed it as he went from Inosuke to Tanjiro and finally Zenitsu. Zenitsu was easy for him to recognize as the blond boy Tanjiro once described in one of his letters. He reportedly had a lot to complain about and was frightened easily but had a good heart and was stronger than he believed himself to be.

Senjuro finished monitoring his heartbeat, marked it down, and went to leave. He took a quick glance over the sleeping boy to find his eyes now open.

“Oh! You’re awake! Good mor-” Senjuro was cut off as the boy let out a long wail that increased in volume as he continued. Senjuro was nearly to the point of covering his ears when the boy stopped as abruptly as he started.

“I knew it! I died! I died and went to heaven and here you are to greet me, Aniki!” The boy grabbed at Senjuro as fat tears started to roll down his cheeks. “It’s so unfair! I don’t even know what happened - I just woke up and everything hurt!”

“I-it’s alright!” Senjuro tried to reassure him but it was nearly impossible to get a word in with the boy’s babbling. Senjuro placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders to comfort him but also with the hope he might get the boy to release him. “You’re okay, you haven’t died! Please, calm down!”

“You mean, I’m still alive?” The boy asked, sniffling as snot began to run from his nose.

“Yes, very much so. You’re very lively.” Senjuro nodded and tried his best not to become disgusted at the sight.

“If that’s true then… You’ve come back as a ghost to haunt us!” The boy screamed, pushing Senjuro away. Senjuro stumbled back but caught himself on the foot of the adjacent bed.

“Well, I can certainly tell who woke up first!” Kanzaki shouted as she stormed into the room. “Will you quiet down? There are other patients trying to rest, you know?”

“Ghost! There’s a gh-ghost!” The boy cried, pointing wildly at Senjuro as he regained his balance and stood up properly.

“That’s no ghost, you idiot! That’s our newest help so shut up and show some respect!” She scolded as she approached his bedside. The boy seemed to cower in her presence and Senjuro wondered what kind of history they might have.

“Rengoku-san, are you okay?” Kanzaki asked.

“Yes, I think so.” Senjuro said with a nod.

“Good, come with me for a moment.” She said before turning on her heel. Senjuro followed her quickly out of the room, glancing back at the boy as he went.

“Is it really okay to leave him?” He questioned.

“He’ll be fine. He just needs to calm down.” She explained before calling out for Naho. The girl must have been nearby as she quickly poked her head out from around the corner.

“Let Kocho-sama know that Agatsuma has woken up, please.” Naho nodded and disappeared behind the corner again.

“I have some chores I still need to get to. Will you be alright dealing with him on your own?” Kanzaki questioned as she looked back at him.

“Ah, if he calms down a bit…” Senjuro looked back into the room and found Zenitsu staring back at him. “Is he usually like this?”

“He’s got no manners,” Kanzaki answered bluntly. “He’s a pain to work with - he’ll fight you all day long on taking his medicine. He’s always very loud and jumpy. And a thief to top it all off!”

“A thief?” Senjuro repeated.

“Yes! He pilfers the pantry and runs off with people’s personal possessions.”

“Really? That’s horrible!” He was beginning to question Tanjiro’s description of Zenitsu.

“You’ll have to keep a good eye on him for me. Can you do that?” Kanzaki gave him a hard look. She was testing him.

“I can,” He started, then hesitated. “I.. Kanzaki-san, I’m sorry about yesterday. You gave me something simple to do and I still messed up. I made things difficult for you and-”

“Worrying about things like that stops you from doing what needs to be done now. You’re still new to this, of course you’re going to get tripped up. I know I did.” Kanzaki explained, then sighed. “Look, just take care of Agatsuma for me. Naho should bring some medicine down for him shortly. Make sure he eats something before taking it though or it’ll make him nauseous. Okay?”

“Okay,” Senjuro replied before giving her a small smile. “Thank you, Kanzaki-san.”

They parted ways in the corridor and Senjuro made his way to the kitchen. He prepared some rice gruel, and returned to find Naho trying to console Zenitsu. She looked relieved to see him. She left Zenitsu’s bedside and ran up to him, a neatly folded, white packet in hand.

“Here!” She said, offering him the packet. “It’s his medicine!”

“Oh, thank you, Naho-chan!” Senjuro took the packet from her and carefully slid it into his apron pocket.

“Kocho-sama said he should take it two times a day,” She explained matter-of-factly, trying very hard to look serious. “After meals.”

“After meals,” Senjuro repeated with a nod and a smile.

“I have to help Kiyo clean bandages so be good, okay?”

“Okay, I will!” He chimed after her as she left the room. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit to himself - being bossed around by a little girl half his age. He supposed she was picking it up from Kanzaki who served as their most reliable role model. Though he was much older than her, she did hold some kind of authority over him in that she’d been there much longer.

“What’s with that?” Zenitsu said, grabbing Senjuro’s attention.

“What do you mean?” He asked, walking around the bed to place the tray he’d been holding onto the bedside table.

“With her bossing you around!” Zenitsu clarified loudly. “Be good. She’s treating you like a little kid!”

“Settle down, it’s okay!” Senjuro motioned for him to lower his voice. “She’s just having fun. Besides, I’m still new here so, to her, I kind of am like a little kid.” Zenitsu gave him a dissatisfied look before quickly perking up.

“Aoi-chan called you Rengoku, right? So you must be related to Aniki,”

“You must mean my brother,” That would certainly explain the screaming about heaven and ghosts… “I’m Sen-”

“I’m so sorry for your loss!” Zenitsu cried, bursting into tears. “Aniki was a great person! He fought so hard to protect all of us! But you already know that!” The boy continued to ramble on about how kind Kyojuro was and how he inspired all of them. Senjuro nodded along, trying not to think too hard about what he was saying as he brought a chair over. He sat himself down and moved the tray onto his lap.

“Thank you, Agatsuma-san. I’m sure my brother thought highly of you as well.” Senjuro said, finally able to get a word in.

“You think so?” Zenitsu questioned, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. He looked at Senjuro with big, watery brown eyes and his face still wet. Senjuro nodded.

“Aniue always saw the best in everyone,” He explained, reminiscing. He recalled how Kyojuro would encourage him to continue his training even when it seemed hopeless. In the end, he never improved but, at the time, his brother’s faith in him helped. He shook his head. “Anyways, you must be hungry!”

“Rice gruel? Don’t you have anything better?” Zenitsu asked, deadpan as if he hadn’t just been bawling his eyes out.

“I- We have to start you off on soft, plain foods!” Senjuro explained.

“We should have unagi,”

“That’s a pretty rich food for breakfast,” Senjuro argued. “And expensive. Besides, that kind of thing isn’t up to me!”

“And anpan too.” Zenitsu continued, not bothering to listen.

“Please, eat!” Senjuro shoved a spoonful of rice gruel towards Zenitsu, growing exasperated. Zenitsu, seemingly surprised by this, stared at him for a moment. Senjuro worried he’d refuse but, much to his relief, Zenitsu took the spoon into his mouth. Senjuro pulled it away before setting it back into the bowl.

“It tastes a lot better when someone else is feeding you!” Zenitsu said cheerily after swallowing. “You’re so sweet, Sen-chan~!”

“Sen-chan?” Senjuro repeated, confused.

“Say, say! You can call me Zenitsu,”

“Is that really okay? Isn’t that too familiar?”

“Not at all! I knew Aniki so that basically means we’re super close already!”

“I don’t think that’s how that works…” Senjuro mumbled. But he didn’t argue further. If this was what he needed to do to get Zenitsu to cooperate then that was a small price to pay.

He continued to feed Zenitsu who rambled about all sorts of things between spoonfuls. Zenitsu told him about how he met Tanjiro and Inosuke, how they’d been almost always together since. How they fought Lower Moon Five and One, and - most recently - Upper Moon Six.

“Upper Moon Six?!” Senjuro exclaimed, nearly spilling what was left of the gruel. Thinking about it now, he was sure the Kakushi had said something similar. But he’d been too shocked to properly process the information.

“I don’t remember much though,” Zenitsu admitted. “They’ll have to fill in the blanks for us when they wake up.” He looked over to the sleeping forms of Tanjiro and Inosuke. Senjuro hummed softly in agreement before offering Zenitsu another spoonful.

“Rengoku-san, don’t spoil him!” Kanzaki called from the hall, hands full with a basket. “It’s just his legs that are hurt. He can feed himself just fine!”

“Huh?” Senjuro pulled the spoon away. “Is that true?”

“Don’t listen to her, Sen-chan! She’s just a bitter, mean witch out to get me!” Zenitsu cried.

“I have half a mind to finish that Upper Moon’s job!” Kanzaki shouted, making Zenitsu jump and shudder. She heaved a heavy sigh before readjusting the basket with her hip. “Rengoku-san, leave him and give me a hand with this, will you?”

“Yes, of course!” Senjuro replied, setting the bowl on the bedside table. He pulled the packet out of his apron and set it aside as well. “You’ll be okay, won’t you? Make sure to take your medicine when you’re done.”

“Sen-chan…” Zenitsu began to tear up. “I will! I’ll do anything if it’s for you!” Senjuro gave him a nervous smile before running to Kanzaki’s aid.

“What a nuisance,” Kanzaki grumbled under her breath as she started walking, Senjuro following close behind. “He was the same way last time he was here - messing with the girls and getting them to pamper him. He hasn’t learned, even after they told him off.
And what’s with him calling you Sen-chan? I didn’t think you two were close.” Kanzaki asked as she slid the door to the garden open with her foot.

“I’ve never met him before today.” Senjuro explained, closing the door behind himself as he stepped outside.

“Seriously?” Kanzaki looked back at him in shock.

“Ah, yes!” Senjuro nodded nervously, bringing his hands to his chest.

“You should have told me,” Kanzaki set the basket down before rolling her long sleeves up. “I’ll give him a talking to right now.”

“No, no! That’s not necessary, please!” Senjuro waved his hands in protest. “I don’t mind, really! He’s not doing any harm!” Kanzaki gave him a long, hard look - testing him again. Senjuro swallowed thickly as he felt a bead of sweat roll down his temple.

“If he gives you any trouble, you tell me. Don’t let him bully you. Just because he’s a slayer doesn’t mean he gets to push you around, got it?” Kanzaki explained, arms akimbo. Senjuro nodded.

“I got it!”

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───

A week went by and nothing had really changed. Zenitsu was still bedridden, Tanjiro and Inosuke were still comatose. Kanzaki would try to reassure Senjuro that everything would be fine, that they’d wake up sooner rather than later. But he could tell she was worried.

Kocho came downstairs one afternoon to check in on things. She took thorough notes on each one of their conditions. She spent a long time talking to Zenitsu, trying to gain further details but it was a fruitless effort. Senjuro and the girls followed her about the room, anxious and ever-curious themselves.

Kanzaki confided in Kocho that she was particularly worried about Inosuke who arrived in the worst condition of them all. From her understanding, he very well should have been dead upon arrival. Kocho assured her and the rest of them that Inosuke was a… Special case. She wasn’t able to understand or explain it well herself but she compared him to the honey badger.

“They have thick skin that even lions struggle to pierce or tear,” She explained, showing them a grayscale photograph within the pages of a large encyclopedia. “And they’re resistant to venom and poisons. Inosuke is the same way.” She let the Caterpillars, who seemed wholly fascinated by the animal, take the heavy book from her.

“Is something like that really possible?” Senjuro questioned.

“Well, if a small beast like that can do it, why shouldn't a human be able to as well?” Kocho argued. “This world is full of wondrously bizarre things. Inosuke just exceeds what we’ve come to expect.”

Kanzaki seemed reassured then.

Two more weeks went by, and still no developments. They had to move Tanjiro and Inosuke frequently to prevent bed sores. Kanzaki explained the importance of stimulation for comatose patients. Talking to them regularly, holding their hands, and having soothing scents in the room might help them regain consciousness sooner. He and the girls would spend a good amount of time each day doing just that. They’d bring flowers in from the garden and leave out sweets (though Zenitsu would pilfer the latter). They’d hold their hands and brush their hair out while they talked to them or amongst themselves. And, when they couldn’t, they’d ask Zenitsu to speak to them.

“They get so much attention and for what?” Zenitsu grumbled. “They’re just sleeping.”

“It’s more serious than that, Zenitsu. We don’t know when or if they’ll wake up!” Senjuro tried to explain as he rolled Tanjiro onto his side.

“They’ll wake up! I know they will! They have to, they still have things they have to do.” Zenitsu said before adding, “Well, Tanjiro does.”

“I think they’ll wake up too.” Senjuro replied with a smile. He brushed a strand of hair behind Tanjiro’s ear before fiddling with one of his hanafuda earrings.

“Anyways, you should hold my hand instead!” Zenitsu suddenly declared.

“What for?” Senjuro asked, raising a thick brow.

“Because it’ll make me feel better. I’m the only one who’s awake so it gets lonely. And I’m worried about them, even if they are just sleeping. And!” Zenitsu held out his hands towards Senjuro. “My hands are softer than theirs! Feel!” Senjuro hesitantly took the other boy’s hands into his own.

“They are soft,” Senjuro agreed, rubbing them with his thumbs. Compared to his own calloused palms, Zenitsu’s were almost silky. “You should train harder.”

Zenitsu, who had been in a sort of odd moment of bliss, suddenly looked devastated. He squeezed Senjuro’s hands tightly as he hung his head and started to shake. Senjuro wondered if perhaps what he said was too harsh. Then Zenitsu’s blond head whipped up and the sight of tears more or less confirmed it. Senjuro started to apologize but Zenitsu cut him off.

“I promise, once my legs are healed, I’ll work harder! I’ll work until my hands bleed! Just for you, Sen-chan!” Zenitsu cried out, voice shaky.

“That’s really not necessary!” Senjuro argued. But there was no real way of getting through to Zenitsu during his hysterics. Senjuro let him cry and make his outrageous promises, all while continuing to hold his hands.

Another week went by. Zenitsu was beginning to feel better but still needed assistance walking around. Senjuro was helping him walk through the nearby corridor, holding him up under the arms from behind. It was clumsy work and Senjuro had to use all of what little strength he possessed to keep himself from dropping Zenitsu. Or, worse yet, falling on him.

I really should ask Kanzaki to help me, He thought. But, really, what could she do to assist him? All she could do is take over for him entirely. And he simply couldn’t allow that. He was here to take some of the responsibility off her shoulders. He couldn’t give up so easily. But he wasn’t sure he could do this…

“Are you okay, Sen-chan?” Zenitsu asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Yes, just give me a moment.” Senjuro answered and realized just how breathless he sounded. He let himself rest his forehead against Zenitsu’s back, however awkward that was.

“You’re sweaty,” Zenitsu said with a weird little laugh.

“Sorry,” He apologized. “I’m sorry.”

He heard someone coming down the hallway towards them. They were heavy footfalls, definitely not belonging to any of the Caterpillars or Kocho. It has to be Kanzaki, he reasoned.

“Kanzaki-san,” He called out. “I’m really sorry to bother you but can you help me?”

“That’s not Aoi, Sen-chan.” Zenitsu said over his shoulder, sounding serious.

“Huh?” Senjuro lifted his head to look. It indeed was not Kanzaki. No, in fact, it was the boy with that nasty scar on his face and scary eyes and wild hair and - What was his name? So much had happened over the month, he couldn’t remember a name in passing.

“What the fuck is your problem? You look like you’re gonna pass out.” The boy spat, voice as harsh as the last time he heard it. Senjuro was sweating bullets at this point; partly from the exertion, partly from being confronted by someone so horribly intimidating.

“I- I’m just,” Senjuro struggled for spare breath to speak with. “Trying to get him back to the room.” He pushed Zenitsu forward so that he might take another step. “Excuse.. Us.” The boy didn’t continue past them, instead stopping to watch them. They managed a few more steps before Senjuro’s arms finally gave out. He suddenly dropped Zenitsu, who fell hard to his knees. Senjuro went down with him but, fortunately, didn’t collapse onto him.

“I’m sorry, Zenitsu!” He cried. “I’m sorry!”

“Ugh, you’re pissing me off,” The boy said from behind before stomping towards them. Senjuro looked up as he came to stand in front of Zenitsu. Bending by the knees, he hooked his arms under Zenitsu’s and lifted him up.

“Hey, don’t touch me!” Zenitsu shouted.

“Shut up!” The boy shouted back before looking down at Senjuro. “Stop doing shit you obviously can’t handle! You’re just gonna hurt yourself and make it everyone else’s problem.”

Senjuro stared up at him, stunned. It hurt to hear, especially from a stranger’s mouth. He wanted to argue but there was nothing to argue. Try as he might, he just didn’t have the strength for certain things. He wasn’t making this easier on anyone. Not Zenitsu, or Kanzaki, or this boy.

“Where do you want this?” The boy asked, lifting Zenitsu a little higher.

“I have a name, you know?” Zenitsu said.

“No one is talking to you!”

“In here, I’ll show you.” Senjuro answered, sounding dejected as he pushed himself off the floor. The boy followed him into the ward, carrying Zenitsu to his bed. Senjuro helped settle Zenitsu and apologized profusely to him. He rushed after the boy when he noticed he’d left.

“Wait!” He called to him from down the hall. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to help me.”

“It’s whatever, okay?” The boy waved him off.

“It’s not whatever, I really appreciate it!” Senjuro argued as he continued after him. “Besides, if it was whatever then why did you help?” The boy suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned to look at him. Senjuro halted and froze up.

“Why do you care so much?” The boy questioned, glaring at him.

“I- Well…” Senjuro thought for a moment. “I admire those who go out of their way to help others. You could have easily walked past us. But you realized I was struggling and stopped to watch. Even though it was frustrating, you wanted to make sure we would be okay… So I wanted to thank you!”

The grizzly-looking boy seemed thrown off by this and looked away nervously. He crossed his arms over his chest as though trying to hide himself. It was a bizarre shift in behavior, and it made Senjuro wonder if he had said something off-putting.

“You’re thinking too much about it..” The boy said finally.

“I don’t think I am,” Senjuro argued.

“Look, you’re welcome, okay?” The boy spat, suddenly looking back at him. “Happy?” Senjuro looked at him with wide eyes but quickly nodded. The boy turned on his heel and continued marching down the hall, shoulders raised. Senjuro watched him go, cocking his fiery head to one side. He really wasn’t sure what to make of this strange slayer. He seemed horribly rough around the edges but he obviously had a kind heart.

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───

“Kanzaki-san, who’s that boy with the scar that comes around every so often?” Senjuro asked rather suddenly while they shared an afternoon snack the Caterpillars had brought them.

“Boy with the scar,” Kanzaki repeated, thinking while she chewed. “You must mean Shinazugawa Genya.” Senjuro nodded, recalling the name after hearing it once more.

“He visits for his monthly check-ups,” Kanzaki explained, wiping crumbs off her apron. “I’m guessing you ran into him since you’re asking. He’s pretty scary looking and he’s got a bad attitude but he’s harmless. I’m pretty sure he’s related to the Wind Pillar.”

“Really?” Senjuro asked, surprised.

“Think so - they share a name but I’ve never heard either mention the other. Or maybe it’s just an unlikely coincidence.”

“That sounds really unlikely.”

“Yea,” Kanzaki agreed. “Anyways, if he ever gives you any trouble, let me know. Kocho-sama will give him a good talking to.”

“Oh no, I’m not worried about him! He actually helped me earlier.”

“Really?” It was Kanzaki’s turn to be surprised.

“He is scary and he has a foul mouth but I can tell he’s a kind person.” Senjuro gave her a reassuring smile. They talked a while longer as they finished eating before parting ways to continue their respective chores.

Senjuro turned the corner to find a boy his age wandering the hall. By his uniform, Senjuro knew he was a slayer. His hakama were left untucked, allowing the wide legs to flare as he walked. His sleeves were altered to be wide and drapey - not unlike a kimono. Like his uniform, his hair was long and flowy. It reached down to his waist and moved like a silk sheet. The ends had a slight curl to them and they were much lighter than the roots likely due to years of sun bleaching.

The boy looked lost. He was staring up at the ceiling as he meandered aimlessly. Senjuro thought to ask him if he needed help when the boy suddenly spoke.

“Where’s Kocho?”

“I’m sorry?” Senjuro was surprised by the question and wondered if he heard it correctly.

“Are you stupid?” The boy asked, deadpan. Senjuro was shocked.

“I’m not stupid,” He argued.

“Then where’s Kocho?” The boy repeated. “She’s not on patrol so I know she’s here.”

“Well, actually, she’s tending to a house call. She left only a little while ago so it may be some time before she comes back.” Senjuro explained.

“Where’s she going? I’ll follow her there.”

“You can’t do that!”

“I can.”

“Well, you shouldn’t!” Senjuro reiterated. “Why don’t you just wait for her to get back? She’ll be back by noon, I’m sure of it.”

“I can’t wait that long,”

“Why not?”

“I’ll bleed out by then.”

“You’re bleeding?!” Senjuro shouted. “Why didn’t you tell me that from the beginning?”

“You’re not Kocho.” The boy said plainly as if it were obvious.

“Of course, I’m not Kocho-sama but I can still help! Please, come with me!” Senjuro pleaded as he gestured back the way he came. He took a few steps, hoping the boy would follow him. But when he glanced behind himself to check, he found the boy hadn’t moved. He simply stared at him blankly.

Senjuro turned on his heel and walked back to the boy before gently - yet firmly - taking him by the sleeve. He led him down the hall like this, like a mother dragging along an uninterested child.

Senjuro brought the boy to a private room, not wanting to disturb those in the ward.

“Where are you bleeding?” Senjuro asked as he let go of the boy’s sleeve. Instead of answering, the boy turned his back to him and pulled his long hair over one shoulder. The expanse of the back of his uniform was almost entirely soaked with blood; dark blue turned muddy red. Just above his belt, which was so far serving well at keeping the blood from his hakama, was a deep, narrow wound. Senjuro winced at the sight but he did his best to stay calm. Wounds often looked much worse than they really were. He’d have to clean it properly before making any real assessment.

“Can you take this off for me?” Senjuro asked with a pat on the boy’s shoulder. The boy shifted as he undid his belt then the buttons down his front. He pushed the coat off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. He removed the shirt he had on underneath, dropping it on top of the coat.

The wound didn’t look any prettier like this. In fact, it looked worse. The couple of layers he’d had on had been soaking up the blood. But, without them, the blood gushed forth uninhibited. Senjuro quickly brought a chair over and had the boy sit facing the backrest. Like this, he could rest against it and Senjuro would have a clear view of his back.

Senjuro produced a couple rags from his apron and began cleaning the blood off the boy’s back. He did this with one hand while applying pressure to the wound with the other. He was unable to wipe away all of it - some of the blood had dried and refused to come off easily. Senjuro did what he could but it seemed too little. He’d hardly cleaned the boy’s back before the rag was soaked through.

Senjuro pulled the rag away to get a look at the wound itself. It wasn’t very big but obviously deep with how profusely it wept. Senjuro pressed the soaked rag back down onto it as he racked his brain. He wasn’t sure he knew how to handle this. He could dress little cuts and scrapes but this was far more serious.

He heard someone running down the hall and he wondered who it might be but he didn’t have the leisure to look.

“Rengoku-san!” Kanzaki called from the hall, skidding to a stop and grabbing the threshold to catch herself. “Rengoku-san, have you seen-” Her eyes landed on the boy Senjuro was tending to and whatever question she had seemed to answer itself.

“Tokito-sama,” She finished, sounding relieved. “Thank goodness you found him! A crow came saying he needed help but I wasn’t sure where he’d gone.”

Kanzaki assessed the situation and quickly took control. She provided a few more rags to Senjuro and told him to keep applying pressure while she gathered supplies. She returned with a suturing needle and a couple instruments. Tokito was cleaned up a bit more before being moved to the bed where he laid down on his stomach.

Kanzaki made a point to thoroughly explain each action she took to Senjuro. She showed him how to prepare the wound, hold the instruments and keep them sanitary throughout the process. She explained the importance of creating separate stitches so that, in the case that they’re damaged, not all of them fall out and leave the wound open. She worked quickly on most of the suturing but slowed down to show him her movements.

It must hurt, Senjuro thought as he watched Kanzaki bury the curved needle into flesh. Despite how gruesome it looked, Tokito gave them no reaction. He didn’t flinch or wince or suck in through his teeth. He didn’t even tense up as the silk thread was pulled through his skin.

“He’s a star patient,” Kanzaki said later as they were cleaning up. “He doesn’t squirm and he never complains.”

“He’s kind of rude though,” Senjuro added, rinsing out the rags.

“He can be. I don’t think he means anything by it though. He suffers from amnesia so I think he’s forgotten his manners along with his past.” She explained as she scrubbed hard at her hands.

“Amnesia,” Senjuro repeated quietly, digesting the word.

“In any case, he’s a Pillar so we can’t tell him off like the others.”

“He’s a Pillar?” Senjuro asked, shocked.

“I know, it’s surprising - kind of disheartening even. We actually went through Final Selection together… He’s extremely talented. Watching him made me realize I wasn’t cut out to be a slayer.” Kanzaki admitted, sounding a bit downtrodden as her hands slowed.

Senjuro knew that exact feeling and he knew it well. His brother, with all his kindness and warmth, was a constant reminder of what he failed to be. To bear witness to someone so naturally talented made one horribly aware of their own weakness.

“He’s like the exact opposite of Agatsuma now that I think about it,” Kanzaki said in a lighter tone. Senjuro laughed as he nodded in agreement.

Zenitsu was not an easy patient by any stretch of the word. Like Kanzaki had warned him months ago, he was immensely difficult. He refused to take his medicine until he knew of every possible side effect and, if one concerned him, he’d refuse to take it outright. He’d complain if it was too bitter or gritty, and work himself up over any small symptom he thought he had. He was a hypochondriac but fought them tooth and nail when it came to doing anything about his health. Somedays were easier than others but it came at the price of humoring his flirtatious habits. Senjuro put up with it because it made his work easier but he was beginning to understand why Kanzaki had such a short fuse.

With all the trouble he caused, it was a great relief to see him steadily recovering. Zenitsu was now able to walk around on his own and had since started what Kanzaki called Rehabilitation Training. Zenitsu had gone through it a couple times already and knew what to do without the girls explaining. Senjuro was surprised to never hear any complaints from him despite how difficult some of the daily stretches were or how grueling their games of tag could become.

Senjuro soon found that the joy Zenitsu had in being surrounded and touched by a bunch of girls outweighed any pain or exhaustion he might have. He’d giggle his way through stretches and his hands would find themselves in unsavory places during tag. The nature of the game - grabbing whatever you could get your hands on - made for a convenient excuse and one not so easily argued against.

Despite this, Senjuro and the girls had fun with it. All the running around was a good stress reliever and having everyone together, working as a team let them bond. Kocho’s Tsuguko, Tsuyuri, joined them. Senjuro hadn’t gotten many chances to see her, much less speak with her. She was a quiet girl who wore the same, gentle smile as her teacher. When she sat still or stared off into space, she looked a lot like a porcelain doll.

She moved gracefully, and she was quick and agile on her feet. Even with his steady improvement, Zenitsu had yet to catch her in their games. Senjuro wondered if he ever would as he brought lunch to him.

He heard Zenitsu’s voice from the hall and Senjuro thought he must be speaking to the unconscious Tanjiro and Inosuke. Senjuro hadn’t actually seen - or rather heard - him do so yet. He supposed it was a bit strange to speak casually to someone in their sleep. But it was important for their recovery and he was happy to know Zenitsu was coming around to the idea.

But as he came into the ward, he quickly noticed that Inosuke was sitting up in his bed. Senjuro nearly lost grip of the tray he was holding, he was so surprised.

“Sen-chan~,” Zenitsu called cheerily to him. “Inosuke woke up!”

“I can see that!” Senjuro said with a breathy laugh as he set the tray down on the bedside table. “You should have called for us.” Zenitsu began to defend himself but Senjuro didn’t pay him much mind. He was far more interested in the wild child that had just come out of a two month long coma.

Inosuke seemed groggy but that was to be expected. He was sat hunched over, rubbing at his face as Senjuro came to his bedside. Then he started pulling at the bandages around his chest.

“Don’t take those off,” Senjuro said, grabbing at his calloused hand to stop him. Inosuke looked up at him with bright, spring green eyes which narrowed as he furrowed his brow. Senjuro had been surprised by how feminine his face was when he first saw it months ago. With time, he grew familiar with it. But this was the first time he got to see his eyes - they were strikingly sharp and mesmerizingly beautiful. As pretty as they were, they didn’t seem to do the boy much good. Inosuke leaned in rather close to Senjuro and squinted hard as he struggled to make out details. Senjuro gave him a soft, patient smile but it dropped when Inosuke began to scowl at him.

“You’re supposed to be dead!” He shouted suddenly, grabbing Senjuro by the collar of his apron. As shocking as Inosuke’s visceral reaction was, Senjuro tried his best to stay calm.

“You must be mistaking me for-” Senjuro started but he was cut off in a yelp as he was yanked downwards. Inosuke forced their foreheads to connect in a headbutt that might have very well cracked Senjuro’s skull. Senjuro slumped down onto the floor in pain, pulling himself from Inosuke’s grasp in the process.

There was a growing commotion in the room but Senjuro couldn’t hear it clearly with how his ears were ringing. When he dared to open his eyes, he found Inosuke standing up on the bed, towering above him. He’d retrieved his boar mask from the bedside table and put it on, simultaneously hiding his face and making his appearance monstrously intimidating. Zenitsu had gotten out of bed and came to Senjuro’s aide, soft hands on his shaking shoulders.

“You freakish bastard! Why'd you do that?!” Zenitsu shrieked up at Inosuke. Inosuke ignored him and instead pointed down at Senjuro.

“To think you’d turn yourself into a demon after saying all that stuff about real strength and making Ponjiro cry! I’ll kill you myself!” Inosuke shouted, voice muffled by the boar head. Realizing he was going to lunge at him, Senjuro scrambled to his feet and pushed past Zenitsu in his desperation to get away. Senjuro caught himself on the door before throwing himself out into the hall.

He ran and, when he heard someone burst out into the hall behind him, he pushed himself to move faster. With each footfall, he thought his heart might burst out of his chest. He thought to call out to Kanzaki or Tsuyuri or Kocho but he couldn’t seem to make the words with how focused his body was on just getting away.

So, when he turned the corner and saw Kanzaki halfway down and approaching with the Caterpillars in tow, he thought he might collapse in relief. He willed himself to keep running towards her, calling to her breathlessly.

“Help,” He pleaded weakly as he came to hide himself behind her. She looked at him from over her shoulder and opened her mouth to question him when Inosuke skidded around the corner.

“You’re a coward, aniki!” Inosuke shouted as he charged headlong towards them.

“Inosuke, you’re up!” Kanzaki cheered without having processed the situation. But as Senjuro clung to her back in fear and Zenitsu frantically rounded the corner after Inosuke, she put two and two together. She rushed forward, surprising Senjuro and leaving him without a shield to cower behind. Inosuke tried to force his way past her but she grabbed him hard, stopping him in his tracks with some effort. He flailed but never hit Kanzaki despite her hindrance. Zenitsu finally caught up but he didn’t seem to know what to do now that he was there.

“Help me, you idiot!” Kanzaki told him with her teeth gritted. Zenitsu jumped into gear and clumsily pulled at Inosuke from behind. Eventually, he managed to wrap his arms under Inosuke’s. But, unlike with Kanzaki, Inosuke didn’t hold any punches. He thrashed behind himself wildly, landing a few solid punches despite the awkward position he was in.

“Let go of me!” He insisted as Kanzaki tried to further restrain him and push him back at the same time.

“You don’t know what you’re doing, Inosuke! Settle down!” Kanzaki shouted at him. The two of them slowly dragged him down the hall and back to the ward, fighting all the while. When they disappeared around the corner, Senjuro dropped down and hugged his knees.

Twice now he’d been mistaken for his brother. A ghost, a demon, something undead and dangerous. But could he really blame them? They had never met him but they knew his brother in his final hour. At a glance or with tired eyes or with failing eyesight, one could easily mistake them for one another. Or any other Rengoku in their long lineage. Like pieces of coal, they were carbon copies of one another - one flame extended to the next.

At once he was reminded of Kyojuro and his untimely death, Senjuro’s failure to become him and his hand in extinguishing the torch passed to him. Kyojuro was a brilliant, unattainable light and, no matter how hard he tried or what direction he took, Senjuro would always be cast in his shadow. Even now, even in death. All Senjuro could do was tarnish his brother’s image, bring shame upon the Rengoku name, disappoint his father, and die a coward.

Senjuro wept and the Caterpillars surrounded him and tried their best to comfort him. They clung to him from all sides like a cocoon, and leaned into him as he took in shaky breaths. They brushed through his hair and rubbed circles into his back and Senjuro realized he’d never been held like this before. And, for some reason, he cried harder.

“I’m sorry,” He said between sobs, voice small and quivering. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t cry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay to cry,” They told him. “We cry all the time. You’re allowed to cry.”

─── ∘°❉°∘ ───

Kanzaki had to handle Inosuke’s care on her own. Tried as she might, he just couldn’t seem to understand the concept of Senjuro being Kyojuro’s brother. Senjuro avoided the ward like a plague had broken out. He worried that Inosuke would grow violent with as much as a glance of him.

Tanjiro was moved to a private room now that he was the only one left in a coma. With as much terror Inosuke had brought with waking up, he also brought a revitalized sense of hope. Senjuro and the girls all believed that Tanjiro would wake up any day now. They checked in on him frequently, more so than was needed to care for him. There were times when they’d spend hours by his bedside, talking to him. They left out more sweets now that Zenitsu wouldn’t have ready access to them. Still, now and again, they’d find them pilfered or even eaten entirely.

A few days passed and all the excitement had settled down. The knot on Senjuro’s forehead disappeared along with the weight in his stomach. He fell back into his routine, pushing the thought of Kyojuro out with hard housework. And, when a sparrow (not a crow?) came with a mission for Zenitsu, Senjuro felt a weight fall off his shoulders.

Zenitsu was immensely disappointed with this news and argued with the little bird that they must be some kind of a mistake. But there was no mistake. The sparrow couldn’t talk like the crows and so the news came via a letter stamped with the Ubuyashiki seal. These were official orders if there ever were any. Zenitsu was returned his sword and uniform and sent on his way.

There were goodbyes, of course. Needlessly dramatic goodbyes.

He made his rounds around the hospital to say farewell to Inosuke (who shouted at him to leave) and Tanjiro (who didn’t wake up despite how Zenitsu demanded he do so that very instant). And he took a long while speaking to the box housed in Tanjiro’s room. Senjuro wasn’t sure what to make of it when he found him speaking softly to it and scratching gently at the wood grain. He asked Kanzaki about it as they accompanied Zenitsu to the gate to see him off.

“Tanjiro’s sister is inside it,” She explained in a whisper, wanting to avoid setting Zenitsu off and giving him an excuse to stick around any longer. “She’s-”

“A demon,” Senjuro finished for her. He knew the story. Kyojuro had shared it with him earlier that year. But he never knew that Tanjiro carried her around in that box. He had wondered where she was while her brother was in a coma. But he figured she was being kept somewhere safe and supervised by a trusted individual. It never occurred to him that she might be with him the entire time.

Reaching the gate and stepping out, Zenitsu turned to them. He gave Kanzaki a wary look as though she might hit him before addressing Senjuro.

“Before I head off on this dangerous mission, of which I might not return, I want to ask you something!” Zenitsu said as he cupped Senjuro’s hands in his own.

“What is it?” Senjuro prompted, nervousness growing in his gut. As Zenitsu suddenly dropped to his knees, Senjuro felt his stomach drop with him. He heard Kanzaki gasp beside him.

“Will you marry me?!” Zenitsu popped the question loud enough for the whole estate to hear, amber eyes ever hopeful. “I know I can be a good husband to you, Sen-chan! I can protect you, and you can help me too. You come from a long line of Pillars so your family must have a fortune saved up, right? You can pay off my debts and then we can move into a big house in the countryside and-”

“No!” Senjuro shouted, catching Zenitsu and himself off guard. “I’m sorry but the answer is no.” Senjuro repeated, voice softer but still firm.

“But-” Zenitsu started but Senjuro continued.

“I’m not going to marry someone I hardly know! And I definitely won’t marry someone who’s just after money I don’t even have the right to. Nevermind the fact just how ungrateful you are! Not once have you thanked any of us.” In his periphery, he saw Kanzaki bring a hand to cover her mouth.

“I just-” Zenitsu tried, tears welling up in his eyes. Senjuro thought to stop himself but he was so frustrated, the words just spilled out on their own.

“You talk over us and refuse to listen. Tanjiro told me you have good hearing but you certainly don’t use it for anything good! You take off with things that aren’t yours and you talk bad about people behind their backs.” He continued to berate the boy, pointing out every flaw and failing he could think of. Normally, he was far too timid a person to even speak back but a marriage proposal was just one step too far. By the end of it, he was out of breath and Zenitsu was crying, still on one knee.

Senjuro did think to say sorry but Kanzaki pulled him away before he could take any of it back. She closed the gate and rushed towards the house, pulling Senjuro along by the wrist. Once they were inside, she let out a hearty laugh and didn’t stop until tears were streaming down her cheeks.

“I’m so proud of you, Rengoku!” She said, trying to catch her breath. “I can’t- I can’t believe he proposed to you! And you made so many valid points but-” She broke out into laughter again, clutching at her stomach.

“But what?” Senjuro prompted, feeling a bit guilty.

“Why didn’t you just tell him you’re a boy?” Kanzaki finally managed to get out.

Oh, Senjuro thought, that is funny, isn’t it?

“I guess I was so angry I just forgot?” He said, beginning to laugh a bit himself.

But how can you forget something like that? Shouldn’t his first reaction be to correct that misunderstanding? To fail to do so, did that mean… If Zenitsu had been a likely suitor, would he have corrected him? He would have to, wouldn’t he? But that wasn’t even the real issue here. He shouldn’t be receiving marriage proposals to begin with. He was a boy; he was the one that should be proposing. But that seemed wrong somehow even though it absolutely shouldn’t.

There shouldn’t be a twinge of doubt there. There shouldn’t be a hint of pride in being proposed to. There shouldn’t be a well of uncertainties bubbling up inside him. It all twisted knots in his stomach and made Kanzaki’s laughter sour on his ears.