Chapter Text
It hadn’t been a bad day, Dogma thought. They hadn’t been in a battle for over a week, so all anxieties had been pushed aside for the moment. No one had bumped into him today either (it was harder than a bump, sometimes a shove or a wild elbow, even a full punch if Dogma said something wrong. They never did it around Tup, he stuck close to him to be safe. He knew why, he knew they didn’t like a ‘stuck up’ like him. It’s how he got his name afterall.)
But Dogma had been left alone that day, just a few comments from Hardcase when Dogma mentioned regulations, but it was a good day. Dogma liked to think he was doing well. He and Tup were sitting on a few crates after their shift while Hardcase talked about something too loudly that seemed to be attracting Fives and Jesse near. He wondered if those two ever did work since Fives always was up to no good and Jesse didn’t look too far behind. But Dogma knew that the two had come down to the flight deck for the company that was arriving to stock up.
Dogma tapped Tup’s leg with his own, leaning over as he asked, “What company is arriving?”
Tup hummed, taking his eyes off Hardcase who just ran off when he saw Fives coming. “Uh, I think it was the 634th. I heard they fought a harsh battle two days ago before retreating due to the planet's conditions. But that’s just what I heard from the others.”
Something tugged on Dogma’s mind at the number. It was a familiar feeling, so he just pushed it away again. Didn’t matter what it was, he wouldn’t remember anything.
His shoulders sank a bit, thinking how long the company was likely to stay. He didn’t like when it was more chaotic than normal. Too much noise. Too much longing. He rather stay by Tup’s side.
Tup, like always, saw his mood shift and grinned next to him, “Hey, don’t worry! They won’t be here long, we have the extra bunk room so we shouldn’t have to be cramped anywhere this time.”
Dogma hummed but didn’t get a response before Fives was pulled by Hardcase over to them. Fives was grilling as he stated, “-wait to see what the betting rings will get.”
Hardcase snorted, “As if you could win a round, you can’t hold a sabacc face for all the credits in the galaxy!”
Five smirked, raising an eyebrow, “A challenge?”
“As if you could do it!” Hardcas bit back.
Tup rose his voice, “Give me a heads up if you enter a game, I want to see Fives fail.”
Five sputtered, “H-hey!”
Dogma frowned, “Betting is against regulations. Any type of contraband is to be-”
“I’ll remind you to leave Dogma behind, too,” Hardcase stated.
Dogma closed his mouth with a snap and a furrow on his brows. They shouldn’t be so loose with the rules, they were placed there for a reason and if they didn’t follow them then there were consequences-
But before Dogma could say any of this, again , to them, the flood of ships suddenly filled the flight deck with the roar of the engines. The group looked over to see the ships landing as clones stepped off the transport.
All of their armor was darkened with mud and their colors, a type of light green that blended with some of the scraps of their armor. They looked rough, but alive. They all seemed to get orders from their segartent on each ship before spreading deeper into the flight deck as more ships arrived. At the sudden arrival and quick drop off as more troopers came, Dogma suddenly felt very vulnerable without his helmet on. He put it over on Tup’s side before he sat.
“Think any have anything fun with them?” Fives asked.
“They did just get off the battlefield,” Tup said.
“Never doubt a man’s determination.” Five answered with a finger point.
“Contraband-” Dogma began to say again, thinking it annoying that his superior was encouraging this behavior that could only lead down a spiral of trouble. Of broken regulations.
“Yeah, yeah,” Fives waved his hand at Dogma to shut him up again. “Jesse is finishing up talking to their lieutenant and then the real fun starts-”
There was a loud shout, over the mutterings and talks of the brothers, some yelled out a name. Dogm didn’t hear it at first, just seeing a clone stop in their path as they looked directly towards them. Someone next to them paused to, looking over as the clone yanked their bucket off and shouted once again their eyes landed on a brother they apparently knew.
“ Vi!? ” The unknown clone said.
Dogma frowned, wondering who that was and glanced out of the corner of his eyes to see anyone nearby. Tup, Hardcase, and Fives all stared at the clone too, confused. It only became more confusing as the clone who had yelled, shoved their bucket into the other clone's hands and ran at them.
Dogma only had a moment to tense in confusion as the clone's target was apparently him. In a split second, the unknown clone crashed into Dogma, knocking him back as they wrapped their arms around him and they both fell to the floor with a yelp.
Dogma’s head hurt from banging on the metal floor, but didn’t get much of a time to process as the clone above him smiled widely, a bit of scruff under his chin that reminded him of Fives and shaved head. He laughed as his eyes scanned Dogma’s face and he cupped his chin with both palms and lifted his head so they joined at the temple.
“You're alive!” He said in such a joyful tone, he pulled back as he whispered again as if to convince himself, “You’re alive…”
Dogma just blinked, confused at him, looking at Tup who was as bewildered and shocked as him. Hardcase and Fives were frozen still as well but before one could even say anything else the other clone bursted between them and slid to his knees to get a view of Dogma too as he said, “Vi-?!”
He dropped the helmet the other clone had made him hold and yanked off his own bucket. He dropped it carelessly to the floor and it made Dogma wince at the mistreatment. The new clone, uncut and eyes that shined, hands hesitated before coming near Dogma before the other clone shifted off Dogma enough that the other clone pulled Dogma into another Keldabe kiss.
The shock of any vod’e displaying that type of affection on Dogma was almost too much. Dogma could just stare at the two brothers as they had misty eyes and smiles that he couldn’t describe.
The clone released him from his hold and whispered, “We found you, Vi.”
The other clone, the one who had practically tackled him onto the floor, nodded, “We found him, Shin, we found him.”
Shin let him go, but his eyes kept tracing over his face in such relief. Dogma didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know what to say. (He was afraid. Afraid this was a dream. Afraid this was real. He didn’t know-what he would do. What would he do?)
The other clone then gasped, “We need to tell Clit!”
Shin broke eye contact with Dogma as he look to the other, “Go on then, Rash-”
“Tell me what?” A new voice asked.
Dogma was still on the floor as he slowly shifted his way out from Shin and apparently Rash. He glanced and saw another clone, an authority around him he prayed it was their sergeant to get them out of here and from whoever they thought he was.
The clone looked at Shin and Rash with a sigh, their armor was dirtied, but the helmet had triangles on the top in the light green that almost made it look like horns. He looked to the sigh, towards Fives and Hardcase who still were in confusion over what the fresh hell was happening.
“What did they do now?” He asked tiredly.
“I…” Fives started but clearly didn’t know how to finish.
“It’s him, Clit!” Rash stated, pulling Dogma back into view. “It’s Vi!”
The clone looked at Dogma in his pure confusion and fear of whatever was happening carefully, but his posture was suddenly broken after a moment. He stepped back in surprise as, just like the others, he took off his helmet to pier at Dogma better and leaned over the crate. His face was the same like every other brother, but had vine-like leaves curl around half his face and disappear under his chin. His eyes, studying Dogma with disbelief before the surprise melted into a glee.
He gave a small smile, “Vi?”
Dogma stared at him, not knowing what to say. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.
Rash slid an arm around him and gave a squeeze as he told Clit, “We found him again! Who knew he would’ve ever gotten into the 501st!”
Shin laughed, “He always had the biggest balls of us, it’s no wonder-”
“Quiet it down you two,” Clit said, but the scolding tone wasn’t there.
“Why?” Rash asked as he pulled Dogma closer despite Dogma’s attempt to distance himself. “We found him again! We can be together again, Clit!”
Clit face soured a moment, “It’s more complicated than that, Rash.”
“But Vi-”
“I’m not Vi.” Dogma finally said, something curling hard in his gut. His head hurt. He didn’t know what to think. “My name is Dogma and I have no idea who you are.”
Rash’s arm around him slid down, his face downcast as he muttered, “Of course you don’t…”
“But-but we can fix that, right?” Shin asked, looking at Clit, “Remember Bomber? He was telling us-”
“I’m sorry, but what the kark is going on here?” Five finally interrupted. Dogma was almost impressed by how long he had been quiet.
“I second that,” Tup added. “Who are you?”
“Apologies,” Clit stated, “I can-”
“We’re Vi’s bachmates!” Rash interrupted.
Tup, Fives and Hardcase all looked at one another as Dogma’s stomach dropped.
“He’s name’s not-” Hardcase began.
“Dogma said that-” Tup added.
“What?” Fives asked.
“Well,” Shin answered, “I guess we were his bachmate’s before his, uh, recon.”
Dogma felt sick. Felt his stomach twist itself in the wrong way and suddenly end up in his throat. Like his skin was too snug on him and blacks too tight and the heat was-
Good Soldiers follow orders Good Soldiers follow orders Good Soldiers follow orders-
His head was breaking open, remaking itself to be obedience, he had to be good. He couldn’t go backbackback-
He didn’t know what he did but he’d be good he swore, don’t send him back. He was wrong, he'll be good. He’ll follow every order he swears. Don’t discard him he’s a good soldier-pleasepleaseplease don’t send him back-
Good Soldiers follow orders Good Soldiers follow orders Good Soldiers follow orders-
The silence was too much, Dogma’s head was banging itself on the interwalls. He couldn’t breath, his heart was too fast. He was good, he swore he was. He wasn’t the same, he was better. He was good. Oh marker-
“...what?” Tup whispered in horror. Eyes looking at Dogma, trying to get the truth.
Five let out a cheerless chuckle, hopeless, “He... what?”
Dogma shook his head roughly, pulling off Rash’s hand as his arms began to shake. He didn’t meet any of them in the eyes.
“I-I-I-” He began, stuttering over simple words he couldn’t piece together. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t want to think of him.
(The one who got that tattoo on his face. The one who got them into Recondition. The one who had done something bad. Who made them forget. Who made him earn whatever he did… whoever that bad soldier had been. Whoever’s batchmate had been. Whoever he had been.)
“Dogma, where you…?” Tup asked, voice so soft but carrying across the small space. Dogma looked at him, face broken.
He hadn’t wanted them to know. He hadn’t wanted anyone to know. He was a good soldier. He was! He wasn’t called a vod anymore, but he was a good brother! He’d follow the rules, followed what he was told-he’d repent of whatever he had done.
He didn't want Tup to know. He didn't want Tup to look at him, knowing that he had done something terrible. Unforgivable that they remade him again. Piece him together into something else. He hadn’t…
He swallowed, throat suddenly dry as his shoulders hunched in shame. He looked away, wordless.
Tup let out a chock, and the rest of the brothers were thrown into silence once again. How were you meant to act when you learned someone had done such a thing? Had been through that?
Dogma didn’t know, but he didn’t want to spend time around his batchmates. They shouldn’t waste their time on him, not someone like him.
Taking a deep breath of courage, Dogma was able to mutter out, “I’m not Vi… I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You better forget him anyways.”
With that, he attempted to stand and run from the room. To get anywhere as long as it is away from here. From the pounding headache and nausea in his throat. But he was stopped by a hand around his arm, he looked to Shin as he muttered, “Hey, hey, hey-that’s okay! We-we kinda tried to expect it!”
Dogma tried to pull away, “I don’t know you,” He tried to push. Tried to make them see he wasn’t the same. He was better. They wouldn’t like him, just like the other brothers who had named him. Whispered curses under their breath and sneered his name they had branded on him.
But Shin didn’t take that hint or the words harshly, just smiled again with his eyes alit, “That’s okay! You can learn all about us again, we’re okay with that.”
Dogma pulled back, seeing Shin’s expression fall at the action and tried not to feel guilty, “I-I don’t know what you expect but-but I won’t remember, I’m sorry-”
“And who told you that? The same long-necks who put you into that state?” Rash stated brashly. Dogma flinched at the mention, head pounding more. He wished the flight deck’s lights had been lowered. Rash saw it and tried to back step, “Never known until you try, besides we’ve read up on this stuff!”
“You mean me and Shin did,” Clit stated at Rash who waved him away.
“I listened,” He reasoned, but seemed to jump to the idea, “I heard lots of rumors too-wanted to see what chances we’d get when we found you! We knew we would, you're stubborn that way.”
Dogma backed away, pressure in his chest and head. Everything felt too close and too loud. He wanted out.
“Wait, so your Dogma’s batchmates, yeah?” Hardcase asked.
“Yup!” Rash answered.
Hardcase hummed, “Then, uh, what stories do you have of him?”
“Oh, loads !” Rash said with a hand gesture, “He always got into trouble.”
Hardcase and Fives shared an interesting look that made Dogma almost vomit, Fives grinned, but something hid behind it making it forced, “He was? Huh.”
Shin nodded, “Clit kept him checked most of the time, he and Clipper were closer though.”
Clipper. Clipper. Clipper.
Something about the name made Dogma’s finger twitch.
Clit gave a chuckle, “They did get into trouble, but-”
“Stop.” Dogma whispered.
He was surprised when they did. He blinked, taking a moment to gather himself and not puke on the floor.
“Please, stop.” He said again, terror shaking his voice.
He didn’t want to know. (
He did, he wanted to know so badly. What was his past? What did he do? Who was
he
?)
He shut his eyes as he stated strongly, straightening his spin, chin up and facing forwards. A perfect position of the perfect soldier. “That’s not who I am. I am a soldier for the republic. I follow orders. My designation is CT-6922.” He breathed easier. “Good soldiers follow orders.”
He opened his eyes, some of the pounding in his head fading away. “ His ” batchmates looked at him with an expression of sorrow and guilt, while Tup looked terror stricken and Fives and Hardcase looked sick with a dark realization.
He took another breath, it was easier to breathe. He was a good soldier.
Clit tilted his head, frowning as he asked gently, “Is that what they made you think all you were?”
Dogma growled, he didn't know if it was fear speaking or his dogmatic nature, “That’s what I was created to be and am.”
Clit watched him again, eyes peering deeper into him. It made Dogma uncomfortable, he wondered what he was seeing. Wondered if he could see how scared Dogma felt.
“Alright boys, we need to get in touch with the others. Don’t want Kicks to get any of the bunks near the door again.” Clit stated after a moment, he leaned over to Tup as he took his vambrace in his hands and typed a comm code. “Let us know when you're in the mess hall, we should get in contact again.”
Rash groaned but jumped to his feet and Shin grabbed both of their helmets as Dogma watched them. Rash winked at Dogma, “See ya later, Vi!”
Shin gave a nod to him and his eyes trailed him like they didn’t want to leave, “Another time then.”
Clit gave a nod to Fives and Hardcase before pushing his batchmates away. Dogma watched them, the head lessening now but the ache in his chest growing. He avoid any of the stares from the others as he grabbed his helmet and rushed out, “I’mgettingsomerest-”
Dogma ran out of the room, trying to calm himself. Trying not to wonder why the strangers he didn't have memories of made him want to cry at seeing them leave again.