Chapter Text
Open on an astronaut hammering a satellite in space. On it, the letters TDI, TDA, and TDWT were crossed out, and under them were the letters TDROTI. Chris’ voiceover said, “We’ve been to the movies. We’ve been around the world! And this season, we’re going right back where it all began at Camp Wawanakwa!”
The camera panned down to show Chris on a now very shabby looking Dock of Shame, “I’m Chris McLean, and as you can see, things have changed since we’ve been away.” he said as he walked over to an intern holding a drink. The sign fell over as he walked.
“And by changed, I mean gotten really, really dangerous.” Chris said as he took the drink. Just then, a giant tentacle popped out of the water and almost crushed the intern, but he jumped out of the way at the last second, “Good stuff. But the rules of the game stay the same. A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with other unsuspecting teens, air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island, and risk being voted off. Last one standing wins one million dollars. Speaking of our cast, here they come now!”
A two-story yacht began to get closer to the island. Justin, Trent, Harold, Ezekiel, and Leshawna were dancing on the first story while Sierra hugged Cody nearby, Sierra now wearing a backwards baseball cap while her hair was growing back. On the back, Owen, Katie, and Sadie were dancing while Eva stood stoically and Noah stared at Izzy, who was hanging off the side upside down with her head and arms in life preservers. Up at the top, Lindsay, Beth, and Tyler danced while Geoff and Bridgette made out. Finally, on the bow of the ship, DJ, Duncan, Gwen, and Courtney were dancing while Alejandro held a glaring Heather in his arms. Chris waved at them as they approached the dock… only for them to go right past it without even stopping.
“Noooooo!” Owen yelled as they went past.
Chris laughed, “No, not them. Remember last season when I said they could use a break? Yeah, I meant it. This season, we’ve all-new players fighting for the million! And here they come now.” he said as another yacht began approaching. Chris’ voiceover came on as he introduced each contestant, starting on the front of the ship.
“Meet Jo!”
Jo was a blonde, tough looking woman in sweat pants and a hoodie, “Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis.” she said to the man next to her.
“Scott!”
Scott was an ginger farm boy in a white tank top, “Right back at ya.” he replied before sniffing his armpit.
“Zoey and Mike!”
Zoey was a woman with red hair and a flower in it. She wore a red top to match, “Can you believe we’re here?” she asked Mike.
Mike was a thin guy in a blue shirt with spiky hair and a tooth gap, “Yeah, it’s… beautiful.” he said.
“Lightning!”
A buff jock in a deep blue shirt with the number one on it and a chain with a lightning bolt on it popped up, knocking Mike and Zoey away while flexing, “Hello, gorgeous!” he said before kissing his bicep.
“Brick!”
Zoey was caught by a man with a buzzcut and green shirt who wore dog tags around his neck. Upon hearing his name, he saluted, accidentally dropping her in the process, “Brick MacArthur, reporting for duty!” he said.
“B and Dawn!”
B was a man wearing a large hoodie and a backwards baseball cap. Opting not to say anything, he instead gave finger guns to the camera. Dawn was an exceptionally pale girl with platinum blonde hair and a green sweater who appeared to be meditating on the railing of the ship, “Your aura is exceptionally purple-ish green. Oh, it suits you, though!” she said to B, who smiled before the camera panned down to a lower area.
“Dakota!”
Dakota was a blonde woman in a pink shirt wearing sunglasses, “Hey, there, Dakota here, and I’m here to-“ she began before getting cut off.
“Anne Maria!”
The camera revealed Anne Maria, who was the woman Heather had met on the train near the end of the previous season. Just like back then, she was applying hair spray, “Oh yeah, three more coats outta do it.” she said, only to get shoved by Dakota.
“Woah! Who said you could pan away!?” Dakota asked.
“Don’t push me, blondie!” Anne Maria said before spraying Dakota in the face.
“Staci!” Chris continued.
Staci was a brown haired woman wearing a red bow and pink tracksuit, “My great aunt Leslie invented suntans! Yah, before her, people smeared themselves with clay.” she said, only for Anne Maria to spray her in the face, too. The camera panned up to the top deck.
“Cameron!”
Cameron was a frail boy in a red hoodie and yellow shorts, also sporting glasses, “Fresh air! A real lake! Birds!” he said in awe, only for the birds to fly at him and knock him down to the lower deck, which the camera followed.
“And Sam!”
Sam was another man with glasses and brown hair, though he sported a yellow shirt with an orange horizontal stripe and held a portable game console in his hands, “Ah, yeah! Grenade launcher upgrade! Now we’re cookin’!” he said with a laugh. The camera went back to Chris.
“Yup, it’s our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!” he said before pressing a button on a remote, causing the yacht to explode and send the thirteen new additions to the cast flying into the air as they screamed, “Right here on Total Drama Revenge of the Island!”
-Theme Song-
The theme song opens with rusted cameras and lights popping out of their old spots, before showing one pop out of a toxic waste barrel and another being held by a tentacle. An intern hits a clapped board.
Dear mom and dad, I’m doing fine
You guys are on my mind
The camera zooms through Camp Wawanakwa, past the interns carrying a totem pole that Chris sat atop, before climbing up the Wawanakwa clip and diving into the water below.
You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous
In the water, Cameron coughed as a bunch of fish surrounded him. Just then, a fishing rod pulled him out. The camera panned out to reveal it to have been a machine built by B, only for it to short circuit and send Cameron flying into the woods. Cameron landed in Jo’s arms as she punched a punching bag. Brick ran past them, causing Jo to drop Cameron and run after him. The duo ran past Dawn, who was meditating with some animals, only for a giant, mutant gopher to pop out and scare them away.
I wanna live close to the sun
Well pack your bags, cuz I’ve already won
The camera panned to Mike and Zoey in a canoe, screaming as it went over a waterfall. The duo landed on a log that Lightning was lifting. Unfortunately, the log that Lightning was standing on snapped in half, causing the trio to fall.
Everything to prove, nothing in my way, I’ll get there one day
Cuz I wanna be famous
Nearby, Scott laughed at the display next to the confessional, only for a mutant shark to pop out, causing Scott to run away screaming. The camera panned to Chef pulling earmuffs out of a pot of soup and placing them on his head, being annoyed by Staci blabbering. Chef shoved a spoon in her mouth to shut her up. Nearby, Anne Maria was applying hairspray, only to accidentally spray the camera. Outside the Mess Hall, Jo arrived just before Brick and laughed at him.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
The camera showed Sam playing a video game on the dock, only for Sasquatchanakwa to snatch it out of his hands, causing Sam to try and get it back.
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous!
Dakota grabbed the camera and pointed it towards her before kissing the lens, causing an intern to have to wipe it off. Just then, a bunch of paparazzi arrived to take photos of Dakota, who posed accordingly, only for Chris to dump a bucket of water on her from overhead in his Jetpack.
*Whistling*
The scene cut to the campfire, where Mike awkwardly tried to talk to Zoey, while she looked confused. Just then, the two got worried when Chris and Chef walked over with marshmallows. The camera panned out to show the whole cast around the fire, all of them whistling, with the original cast in two peanut galleries on each side also whistling.
-End of theme song-
Open on Cameron screaming as he landed on a rock in Lake Wawanakwa, “Is this what pain tastes like…?” he asked before sliding off the rock into the water.
Anne Maria swam past the rock, “Chris is so getting a beat down for this!” she said.
Nearby, Staci and Zoey were hanging onto pieces of driftwood, “Out of the way, athlete coming through!” Jo said as she shoved past them. Sam was nearby and holding his Game Guy out of the water, causing Jo to step on his head and flip over the water.
“Hey!” Sam yelled when he got his head out.
Meanwhile, Cameron had just resurfaced and flailed around, “Help!” he said as Scott swam past him.
“Dweeb.” Scott said, not noticing Cameron sink.
Just then, Cameron shot out of the water, now being carried in one hand over Lightning’s head, “I’ll save you, little girl!” he said.
“I’m a boy!” Cameron replied.
Meanwhile, Dakota was on a life raft somehow, getting her picture taken by some paparazzi on a boat nearby, “Hi, fellas! However did you find me?” she asked.
“Uh, we got your text?” one of them responded.
“Oh, for crying out loud!” Chris said from the monitor he was using to watch the ordeal before tapping his earpiece, “Uninvited guests, over.”
Chef came out of the water in a diving suit and strapped motor to the boat, launching it super far away and sending Dakota flying back, landing it Lightning’s hand and knocking Cameron into Anne Maria’s hair, which had the consistency of steel and caused him to fall into the water again.
“Hey, no touching the hair, four eyes!” Anne Maria said before applying more hair spray.
Meanwhile, Staci was struggling to stay afloat, “I wish my great uncle twice removed Gregory was here! He invented life preservers!” she said before going under.
“Hang on!” Mike said as he swam over.
“I’m coming!” Zoey said as she did the same.
“Oh, uh, no, you first, please.” Mike said awkwardly.
“Uh, okay…?” Zoey replied, only for Staci to accidentally pull Mike under, too.
“Hang on!” Zoey said before pulling them both out.
“T-thanks, I owe you one….” Mike said.
—Confessional: Mike—
He spun the toilet paper role on the side on the outhouse, “Okay, my first confessional! So, uh, Zoey! Nice girl. Okay, super nice. But I’m probably getting too ahead of myself into wanting to go out with her considering I just met her….”
—Confessional: Zoey—
“Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually in the Total Drama Confessional, it’s so exciting! Everyone seems so nice! I hope they all like me. I could use a few new friends. Or, uh, friends period. Wait, what if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big. A-am I trying too hard!? Y-you like me, right!?”
Jo crawled onto the shore, “Wahoo! That’s what I’m talking about! First one on the-“ Jo began, only to notice Dawn sitting on a rock nearby and holding a starfish.
“How did you-!? You’re not even wet!” Jo said in confusion.
“Hm? Oh, I used a shortcut.” Dawn replied.
Brick crawled onto to shore, “Ma’am.” he said with a salute before falling over.
—Confessional: Brick—
“I may be the strongest player here, but I’m all about the teamwork! Back at cadets, I took the teamwork medal three years running. Also the bed making medal, the flag folding medal, and the letters home to mom medal! I always win that one.”
Cameron resurfaced on top of B’s head as B silently walked onto shore while Cameron coughed up water.
—Confessional: Cameron—
“I am what’s known as a ‘bubble boy.’ Growing up, my mom was really overprotective, so I’ve never gone swimming before. Up until six hours ago, I’ve never done anything before, except read and with a lot.” he sighed, “But that doesn’t mean I’m not a force to be reckoned with!” a butterfly flew into the confessional, “No way! Danaus Plexippus! The monarch butterfly!” it landed on his head, and he immediately struggled to stand, “Agh! It’s so heavy!” he fell over.
Cut to Scott pouring water out of his shoe, having reached the shore. Staci, Mike, and Zoey had also reached the shore and were sitting on a rock next to Dawn, who had moved to join the others, “Yah, and my great great great uncle Boris invented swimming! Before him, people just swung their arms around like this and sank to the bottom! And my great great great great-“ Staci said, greatly confusing everyone.
“Yeah, that’s uh… that’s great.” Mike said.
Just then, a wave pushed Sam onto the shore, him still holding his Game Guy, which had avoided getting wet. And then he coughed up a fish.
—Confessional: Sam—
He laughed, “I knew I should’ve played that sweet fitness workout game before I came here. Heh, I just hope I don’t get cut first, that would be lame. But if I stick it out long enough to get cut like… fifth or sixth, how cool would that be, huh?” he chuckled before pulling out his Game Guy again.
“I’m so stoked to be here. I’ve been watching Total Drama forever! Who knows, maybe I’ll even make some new friends.” Zoey said.
“Yes, that would be good considering you were an only child and all.” Dawn said.
“Huh? Who told you that?”
“You soul reads like an open book! You had such a lonely childhood, it must’ve been difficult.”
“Woah….” Zoey replied in awe.
Anne Maria, Lightning, and Dakota walked up to shore as well, but didn’t get the time to sit down before Chris’ voice came over the PA system, “Attention, fresh meat! Glad to see you all made it here alright! See the trail leading into the forest? Race to the end of the trail, and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad.” he said.
“Yeah, we wouldn’t wanna upset the bunnies.” Lightning joked, netting a chuckle from Sam.
“The tiniest sound can set them off. Like this.” Chris said before sounding off the air horn again. In the distance, a roar was heard and trees started to fall over, causing the thirteen of them to run off screaming.
Cut to Jo and Lightning crossing a finish line in the woods, Jo crossing just before Lightning, “Yes! Sorry you had to lose to a girl.” Jo said.
“What girl? Lightning didn’t lose, bro! Lightning never loses!” Lightning said before stepping in front of Jo, somehow not realizing she was a girl.
Chris came over on an ATV, “Captain Modesty, take two steps left, you’re on Team A. Yo, Jo, move right, you’re Team B.” Chris said.
Scott ran up next, followed by Brick, “Pitsniffer! You’re Team A. Corporal Brickhouse, Team B.” Chris said.
“Sir, yes, sir!” Brick said, only for B to run in and bump into him.
“Silent Treatment, Team A.” Chris said. B just gave a finger gun.
Zoey ran over next, followed by Mike, “Lonely Zoey, Team B!” Chris said. Zoey sighed and walked over
“Um, I’m here, too!” Cameron said, revealing that he was on B’s back.
“Oh. Bubble Boy, Team A.”
“Okey dokey!” Cameron said as he hopped off of B’s back.
“Toothpick, Team B!” Chris said.
“Alright!” Mike said as he ran over.
Dakota ran over next, followed by Dawn silently walking over, “Princess Wannabe, Team A! Aura Whisperer, Team B!”
Zoey and Mike smiled as Dawn walked over to them, happy the only person they’d talked to was on their team.
Sam crawled over the finish line with Anne Maria just behind him, “Game Junkie, Team A! Tan in a can, Team B!” Chris said. Sam gave a thumbs up from the ground.
“My Uncle Bill… won a New York marathon four times… because marathons were… first proposed my great… great… ugh.” Staci said in between breaths as she crossed the line and collapsed onto Sam.
“And Chatterbox, Team A.” Chris said, only for Scott to run over to him.
“What the heck was that thing in the forest!?” Scott asked.
“I’m pretty sure that cry does not belong to any known animal species!” Cameron said.
“Relax, it’ll all make sense eventually. Now, this season’s gonna be a little shorter than the others since there’s only thirteen of you, but the rules remain the same. Every three days, we have a challenge and elimination ceremony. But since you’re all first timers, I’m gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the camp.” Chris said as he pulled out a wood carving of his head, “A genuine McLean brand Chris head! If you get have this bad boy in your possession, you can play it to negate all votes against you for that elimination ceremony.”
Everyone was surprised, but interested in this idol.
—Confessional: Scott—
“A one-use get out of jail free card, huh? That’ll be a big help for my strategy.”
“Is the cleft on my chin really that big?” Chris asked as he looked at the idol.
“Yup!” Scott said.
“Moving on. Time for the team names!”
“Team Lightning! No, wait, Lightning Squad!” Lightning suggested.
“Great suggestions, Lightning, but you’re not choosing names this time. They’ve already been chosen by moi. Team A, that’s Lightning, Scott, B, Cameron, Dakota, Sam, and Staci, you shall henceforth be known as the Toxic Rats!”
“Heh, killer!” Sam said.
“And Team B, that’s Jo, Brick, Zoey, Mike, Dawn, and Anne Maria, you are hereby dubbed the Mutant Maggots!”
“Umm… what’s with all the references to chemical waste…?” Mike asked. Just then, they heard a roar.
“It’s the monster!” Cameron yelled in fear. Nearby trees fell, causing fear and worry from everyone, only for a hairless squirrel to hop out of bush near last tree.
“Wait, it’s just a stupid squirrel!?” Jo asked.
“Awww.” Dakota said, only for the squirrel to blink. Sideways. Dakota screamed at the sight.
“Oh my goodness! What’s wrong with it!?” Dawn asked.
“While we were gone, I rented the island out to a nice family oriented biohazard waste disposal company. Sweet people.” Chris said.
“I told him it was a bad idea, but he wouldn’t listen.” Chef said as he walked over, “Now, the wildlife here are all mutated.”
To emphasize the point, the squirrel shot its tongue out to eat a butterfly.
Sam chuckled, “Cool!” he said.
“Weird… I kinda want one!” Dakota said as she approached the squirrel, only for it roar at her and shoot lightning out of its eyes, causing Dakota to leap into Sam’s arms in fear.
“Yeah. I’d watch out if I were you.” Chris said before laughing.
—Confessional: Dakota—
She was crying, “Chris is the meanest ever- hang on.” she took out her hand mirror, “Not too blotchy, okay, take two, ahem.” she put the mirror away and “cried” again.
“Now, before we start our very first challenge of the season, let’s give out some rewards! Maggots, you’ll be getting a trampoline!” Chris said. Chef jumped on the trampoline to demonstrate, “And the Rats get a hacksaw!”
Chef held up the hacksaw, only to fall over. Lightning laughed, only to get hit in the face by the handle of the hacksaw. Jo laughed at that, only to get hit by the entire trampoline.
“And I bet you’re wondering, what do the items have to do with this bomb?” Chris asked as he pulled out a bomb.
“Uh, he won’t blow us up again, will he?” Mike asked.
“I don’t know, will I?” Chris asked, “Find out when we come back!”
Cut to everyone standing by two trees. A totem pole of a rat hung from the left tree, while a totem pole of a maggot hung from the right tree, “Those are your team totems. You’ll need to cut them down and ride them in the River back to the campground. First team there gets their pick at the cabins. But hurry, the totems are rigged with bombs that will explode if you don’t plant them in front of your cabin in seven minutes or less! Starting now.” Chris said.
“Alright, let’s do this!” Jo said before leaping onto the trampoline from a rock. And then she got launched into a nearby bush.
“Stand back, Lightning is on it!” Lightning said before climbing the tree holding up his team’s totem. And then sliding down, “Ow! Slippery tree! Don’t worry, Lightning never quits!”
As Lightning attempted to climb again, B and Cameron walked over while thinking, “Hmm… what to do….” Cameron said.
“It’s too bad that my third cousin Jack isn’t here to give us tips on bare-handed tree climbing!” Staci said. Just then, B smiled and ran off, Cameron following close behind.
“Okay, if we all aim at the center of the trampoline, we should be able to reach higher!” Dawn said to her team.
“Alright, gimme a crack at this.” Anne Maria said before hopping on the trampoline, which launched her directly into the bottom of the pole, causing everyone to wince. She then fell back down onto the trampoline, and then back to the pole. And the cycle kept repeating until Jo kicked the trampoline out of the way, “Ow! Thanks….”
—Confessional: Anne Maria—
“I auditioned for this show after I saw those two weirdos on the train last season, figured it’d give me a higher chance to be allowed on, y’know? And sure I wanna win a million bucks, but not at the expense of my looks! I mean check me out, perfect hair, perfect tan, all this is worth a billion, easy.”
Lightning was still trying to climb the tree while B was moving a log. Cameron was trying to find the exact proper angle for it. Everyone else on the team was just listening to Staci say, “…and my great great aunt Doris actually taught native Canadians to carve totems. Yah, before-“ she began, only to be interrupted.
“Perfect! Okay, Staci, stand right here!” Cameron said as he pointed to the log B had moved over, now on a rock.
“Oh, okay!” Staci said. Everyone else let out a sigh of relief as Staci walked over.
“Okay, Sam, take two steps to the left!” Cameron yelled.
“Uh, alright.” he said as he did so. Once they were lined up properly, B jumped onto the end of the log opposite Staci, causing her to land perfectly on Sam’s shoulders, impressing the team.
“Woah! Nice thinking, guys!” Sam said. Just then, Lightning fell again.
—Confessional: Lightning—
“First of all, tree climbing is not a recognized sport! Plus, the tree was covered in butter or something! But if Chris is trying to make Lightning looks back, he can think again! Lightning never gives up and never surrenders! Sha-Lightning!”
“Time to win this!” Brick said as he leapt onto the trampoline, sending him flying. He grabbed onto the axe wedged in the bottom of the totem… only for him to start screaming when he realized he was now stuck there, “Uh, help! Help! Help!”
“Good grief!” Jo said.
“Sheesh, what a baby!” Anne Maria said.
“Aww, man! This isn’t working! We’ve gotta… uh… I don’t know!” Mike said before gasping and hunching over before doing an old man voice, “Ah, darn it! Cut the danged rope already!”
“That’s what we’re trying to do, Mike.” Dawn said.
“Eh, call me Chester, missy!”
“Uh… what?” Zoey asked.
—Confessional: Mike—
“So, I’m a method actor. I spend a lot of time trying to get into character, and sometimes when I get really anxious, I just slip into one of a few different characters i default to. Not sure how that became my coping mechanism, but here we are.”
—Confessional: Zoey—
“Y’know, I really don’t get Mike’s old man comedy routine, but I bet it’s really funny if you’re from like… France or something.”
B hopped onto the log again to launch Lightning up on top of Scott, who they had launched onto Sam, “Yeah! Lightning strikes!” he said.
Meanwhile, Brick was trying to pull the axe out of the totem. Just then, a mutant squirrel came out of a hole in the tree next to him, “H-hey, go away! Uh, shoo! Shoo!” he said, although to no avail, as the squirrel just yelled at him.
“Back in my day, we didn’t need fancy saws and axes to cut ropes! We did just fine with stones!” Chester said before tossing a rock at the squirrel. This managed to make the squirrel stop focusing on Brick. And so it began to chase after Chester instead.
B launched Cameron on top of Lightning, “W-woah! We need one more person!” he yelled.
“Where’s Dakota?” Sam asked.
Cut to a few feet away, where Dakota was posing on a stump while her paparazzi crew took pictures of her in a jeep. Just then, Chris chopped down a tree, causing it to land in between them, “Timber! Paparazzi, get off my island. No time for photo ops!” he said.
Meanwhile, the squirrel was shooting lightning out of its eyes at the Maggots on the ground while they ran around screaming. Suddenly, it remembered Brick was there and fired at him, “Hey, not the boots!” he said, only for the lightning to hit the axe, causing it to bounce off into the rope, allowing the maggot totem to fall.
“Yes!” the Maggots yelled.
“Mission accomplished!” Brick said with a salute, only for the totem pole to fall on top of him.
Meanwhile, B placed Dakota on the log, “Hey, cut it out! Take it easy!” Dakota said.
“Only three minutes left!” Cameron yelled as Dakota was launched onto his shoulders, “S-saw the rope before I d-drop you!”
Dakota began to saw the rope. With the dull side.
“How are you supposed to do this? It won’t work!” Dakota said.
“Teeth down on the rope! Down!” Sam yelled.
“No, girl, you cannot be that dumb!” Lightning said in shock.
“P-pretend it’s a steak knife or something!” Cameron said.
“Oh! I get it!” Dakota said as she flipped it around and sawed the rope, allowing the totem pole to fall, “There!”
Sam chuckled, “B, change your name to A Plus!” he said.
—Confessional: B—
He breathed on his fist and rubbed it against his chest.
—Confessional: Scott—
He was throwing a rock against the side and catching it, “B and Cameron think they’re so smart. But once my plans go into action, they won’t know what hit them!” he tossed the rock again, only for it to bounce against the side and hit him in the face.
Cut to the Maggots cheering as they rode their totem pole down the river. The Rats also cheered as they got theirs into the River and followed behind them.
“They’re gaining on us!” Jo yelled.
“It’s my duty to inform you ma’am that we have bigger problems.” Brick said as he pointed to the waterfall they were approaching.
“First time going over a waterfall.” Anne Maria said nervously.
“And maybe our last!” Chester said in fear. The six of them screamed as they went over the waterfall. When they reached the bottom, they bounced onto a hill and began to slide down. Being in the back, Zoey bounced backwards and was only hanging onto the back with one hand.
“Ah, kids today and their crazy log rides.” Chester said.
“Guys, help!” Zoey yelled.
“Huh?” Chester said before slapping himself in the face, “Shoot, sorry, Zoey!”
—Confessional: Mike—
“Yeah, sometimes I get a little too into character. Great for onstage, not so good for this.”
“Hang on!” Dawn said as she and Mike pulled Zoey back onto the Totem Pole.
“T-thanks, you two!” Zoey said as she hugged them both.
“N-no problem!” Mike said.
“It was nothing, really.” Dawn said.
Meanwhile, the Rats screamed as they landed on the hill just behind the Maggots. B made a motion with his arm, “B wants us to lean forward!” Cameron said.
“Yah, my great great great great second aunt Cassidy invented log riding, and she-“ Staci began as they overtook the Maggots.
“We don’t care!” the rest of her team said in unison.
“No way! How did they get in front of us!?” Jo yelled.
Cut to Chris and Chef in lounge chairs next to the cabins. Well, singular cabin. The other cabin had been replaced with a far nicer and bigger cabin, “Ah, feels good to be back.” Chris said.
Just then, Owen ran over, dragging Noah with him, “Hey, Chris! Get this, the boat wouldn’t stop!” Owen said.
“And he dragged me here with him to tell you that.” Noah added.
“Oh look, it’s former players Owen and Noah, who aren’t competing this season.” Chris said.
“Yeah, so we swam back to tell you that- WHAT!? NOT COMPETING!?” Owen asked in shock.
“I’m afraid that you and the other classic players aren’t that useful to me, at least for this season.”
“Then why did you bring all 24 of us out here!?” Noah asked.
“Still need you all for the Aftermath show. Chef, if you could escort them back to the Boat of Losers?”
“You probably could’ve just told them, y’know.” Chef said before wakling with Owen and Noah back to the Dock.
Just then, the Toxic Rats came sliding in, “Wahoo! First place! Go Team Lightning!” Lightning said.
“Tick tock!” Chris said.
“Quick, grab the good cabin!” Scott said as they all worked together to place the the totem pole on the podium. Unfortunately for them, the Mutant Maggots came sliding in while screaming, and their totem pole crashed into the Rats pole just before they could place it, causing it to go flying into the good cabin while the Maggots’ pole landed on the podium. While the Maggots’ bomb deactivated, the Rats’ didn’t, causing it, and therefore the good cabin, to explode.
“Shoot, did I use the real bombs!? Those were supposed to be confetti!” Chris said, “Ugh, that cabin had a nine person hot tub and ac!”
Everyone collectively sighed at the loss of the good cabin.
“Yah, my great great great uncle James invented log cabins! Before him, people had to sleep in the trees, and they kept falling out all the time! And my great great great Aunt Phylis invented roofs, and before her, houses were just walls and furniture, and every time it rained, you had get a new sofa!” Staci said, unaware that everyone was staring at her in annoyance.
“…regardless, as the Maggots Totem Pole is the one still standing, the Mutant Maggots win the first challenge!” Chris said, eliciting tired cheers from them.
“So where are we gonna sleep?” Lightning asked.
“No worries, we’ve got a backup cabin. Aka the old cabin.” Chris said as an intern in a helicopter dropped the old cabin back into place while the Rats sighed.
“Team Rat, I’ll see you at the campfire for our first elimination ceremony of the season.” Chris said.
—Confessional: Staci—
“Losing sucks! My great great great great great uncle Humphrey invented losing, and our family cut ties with him years ago.”
Cut to the Elimination Ceremony. The Rats sat on the logs while the Maggots got the Peanut Gallery, “Who do you think they’ll vote off?” Zoey whispered to Dawn.
“I think the answer might be a little obvious.” Dawn replied.
“Yeah… I guess not every elimination can be super nail biting.”
“The votes have been cast! Those who receive a marshmallow can stay, but one player will not get a marshmallow, meaning they can’t come back. Ever.” Chris began, “The following players are safe. B.”
B smiled as he caught his marshmallow.
“Cameron.”
“Scott.”
“Lightning.”
“And Sam.”
The marshmallow landed on the Game Guy Sam was playing, causing him to smile. Staci looked nervous while Dakota was just texting her paparazzi.
“And the final marshmallow goes to…”
…
…
…
…
…
“Dakota!”
“Nice.” Dakota said as she caught her marshmallow.
“Aww, but I was doing so good!” Staci said.
“Were you…?” Scott asked.
Staci sighed, “I guess it’s the Dock of Shame for me, then….”
“Right you are! Well, we wanted to do a different method this season, but legal shot down our catapult idea.” Chris said.
Staci walked down the Dock of Shame and boarded the Boat of Losers, “Oh, did you know that catapults were invented by my great great great great great-“ she began.
“Uh, Chris? Did we really have to share the ride with her?” Noah asked as the camera revealed he and Owen were also on the boat.
“Hey, you two swam back to the island.” Chris said.
“Sorry….” Owen said to Noah as the Boat of Losers went off, both of them covering their ears to block out Staci’s blabbering.
“One down, twelve to go! Who’s next in line? Find out next time, right here, on Total Drama Revenge of the Island!” Chris said to sign off the episode.
—Voting: B—
He held up a picture of Staci and made talking motions with his hand.
—Voting: Cameron—
“Staci really didn’t do all that much. Except talk a lot. And I don’t think anything she said was actually… y’know, true.”
—Voting: Scott—
“I could get my team to vote off someone threatening and leave the non-threats in the game, but… yeah I don’t want to have to hear Staci blabbering on all the time.”
—Voting: Lightning—
“That Staci girl can’t shut up! She’s gotta go.”
—Voting: Sam—
“Uh, yeah, Staci’s kinda… really annoying.”
—Voting: Dakota—
“Staci bothered everybody today, who else would I vote for?”
—Voting: Staci—
“Dakota kinda just left during the challenge today. Oh, did you know my great great great aunt Lillian invented telephones? Yah, before her, people just had to yell really loud.”