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When it was all said and done, Tommy admitted to himself that he didn't expect to see Kimberly again. Everything from the moment when he saw her and Jason in danger to the point where they saved them felt like a blur, his mixed feelings at the sight of her once more pushed aside to deal with the fact that she and a man who was practically a brother to him were in danger and there was a very real threat to face.
Once things were settled, they were so focused on putting together the event that he didn't get a chance to talk to her, their only interact resulting in nothing more a 'thank you' she had given him once they reached Angel Grove. And all he could do was nod, because what could he say? What should he say? What did he want her to say? All he had were questions and no answers, which wasn't new.
Besides to have these thoughts almost felt like a betrayal, since he did have a girlfriend. He was happy with Kat - she was a wonderful, beautiful girl who he connected with and understood, their shared experience of having been brainwashed an unspoken connection that he couldn't share with really anyone else, but he couldn't deny that a part of him still felt as though things were unresolved with Kim.
For all that he had moved on and tried to be grateful for their time together, rather than the heartbreak and bitterness, he had actually pushed down the letter, as it was easier to forget than really deal with the way she dumped him - thinking on it now stung, the words 'like a brother' still leaving a bad taste in his mouth. His infamous bad memory didn't do him an any favors in allowing him to forget the words that hurt almost as much as when he first read them. Maybe that was why he never could bring to reach out after he received it; he didn't want to hear her say that she didn't have feelings for him anymore and she truly found someone else.
It was easier to risk his life than his heart.
Sure, he was aware that in the future he may run into her again, especially with the friends they still had in common but he had always assumed by then, if he he would've gotten over her completely and would be ready to handle it. After all, he thought, as logically as possible, how many people really ended with their first love?
Yet when he came face to face with her once more, he was as speechless as when he first saw her on the screen.
She was the one to approach him, catching him during a rare moment alone while everyone else was celebrating their victory.
"Hey," she said, a cautious smile on her face.
"Hey." Oh, good, at least he was able to find his voice. "How're you?"
"Good." She wrinkled her nose, a look that was still cute after all this time. "Better anyway."
He smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, I bet."
"Look"- She took a deep breath, hand lifting to brush her hair behind her ear, a sure sign that she was nervous-"Do you ... have a moment to talk?" She chewed on her bottom lip, brown eyes slightly wide, almost as if she was waiting for a rejection.
Which made it pretty clear what she wanted to talk about. Tommy almost wanted to say 'no'- or maybe push aside the conversation for another time, claiming they were both busy and hope that he didn't have time to run into her again. He had imagined this confrontation in his head a countless amount of time since he got the letter, but now they were face to face, that it was about to happen, he wasn't ready.
She would respect his 'no' but even after she had broken his heart, he couldn't bear to hurt her.
"Sure," he found himself saying. His eyes wandered, meeting Kat's across the room, and realized that there was someone else that he wanted to make sure he didn't hurt first. "Just ... give me a few minutes, okay?" He met her gaze once more. "I'll meet you outside?"
Kimberly followed his eyes to where he was looking just moments before, and an understanding look came over her face, as she nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you outside." She turned to walk in the opposite direction and he almost wanted to stop her, but he chose to go the opposite direction, toward Kat.
"Everything okay?" was what Kat's first words were to him.
"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his hair, strands loosing from his ponytail. "Kim wanted to talk and I just figured I'd give you a head's up." His words came out faster, as Kat remained silent. "It's not, we're not ... I just thought I should hear her out, you know?"
Thankfully, Kat didn't seem upset ... or surprised. "It sounds like it was a little overdue." She leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. "I get it. You won't get any jealous outbursts here."
He chuckled, grateful, and pulled her into a hug. "Thanks. I'll see you shortly?"
She nodded, and they parted ways, Tommy heading in the direction that Kim had gone. He found her outside, staring out into the night, but not seeing anything and with a few long strides, was at her side again. Kim briefly started.
"Hey."
"Hey," he parroted back, letting out a small awkward laugh. "I hope you weren't waiting long. I just needed to go talk to Kat first, let her know."
"That's fair," Kim said. A look of regret crossed her features. "I need to apologize to her later ... I said some pretty terrible stuff to her earlier."
"I don't think she's going to hold it against you," Tommy said, in a reassuring tone. "You get the 'I was brainwashed' free pass - if anyone gets that, it is us." Her eyes darted away, and as Tommy reflected on his words, he realized that he and Kat had become the 'us' when that used to be him and Kim. But times had changed.
"So I'm part of some sort of club now?" Kim said, clearly trying to lighten the mood.
"Yup," he said, going with the flow. "Meeting are at dawn."
"A little too early for my taste," Kim joked. "Are there at least membership cards? A secret clubhouse?"
"Unfortunately, only the lingering trauma, but we're working on t-shirts."
"Do they say 'I was brainwashed and all I got was this lousy t-shirt'?"
"We haven't come up with a slogan but I'll put it on the list."
They exchanged smiles and Tommy felt himself relaxing. He knew it would be easy to go down this path, and avoid what they came out here for, but it wouldn't feel right. Who knew when they would get this opportunity again and it was best to use it when they had it.
"So ... you wanted to talk?"
She nodded. "I wanted to ... apologize."
"For what happened earlier?" he said, hesitating, not wanting to read her wrong. "I meant it when I said none of us hold it against you."
"No, Tommy," she said gravely. "For the letter. That was a ... terrible thing to do to you and I am so sorry."
He gestured to a nearby bench, and she sat down, and he carefully took the seat next to her, as he allowed himself to express the questions that had been in his heart. "Why, Kim?"
"Why, what?" she said ironically. "Why did I break up with you? Why did I do it in that letter?"
"I think we both know why you broke up with me," Tommy said. "Or ... you did. There was another guy?"
She swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah ... a gymnast. He ... well, it doesn't matter."
Tommy found that it did matter. He used to wonder about the guy and what it was about him that drew Kim away from him to that faceless, nameless man? Was he a better person than Tommy? Easier to deal with? A better friend and boyfriend?
"It didn't have to anything to do with you," Kimberly rushed to say, as if reading his mind.
"Then why?" It came out like a whisper. "What did I do wrong?"
"You didn't do anything wrong," Kim said defensively, but it was him that she seemed to be defending. "It wasn't you ..."
"Are you trying to tell me it was you?" Tommy asked, incredulously. "Or ... him?"
"Maybe both," Kim acknowledged. She sighed and wrung her hands together. "It was hard ... being away from here, from my friends ... from the Rangers ... from you. I know I gave it up willingly, chose gymnastics but it didn't make it any easier. I ... I always thought I could live without it, but when I finally did, I had a hard time adjusting to life without my powers. Even though I had dealt with it before. This time, it was my choice so I believed it would be different than when I had it stolen from me."
"You could've told me that," he found himself saying, but he knew what that was like. When he had lost his powers, he had tried to hide away, and if it wasn't for Kim not letting him go, he would've shied away from her and their entire group, unable to be around people that still had what he desperately wanted. And he felt a surge of guilt run down his spine at not thinking about how that would be for Kim, for never really bringing it up in their letters and phone conversations. Maybe he too assumed that since she had given it up, she would be okay. But he should've known better to assume. His shoulders slumped. "I should've checked. I know what it's like."
Kim shook her head firmly. "No, it's not your fault. You were there for me, when I lost my power coin before and I knew if I had confided in you, you would've been there again. I wanted to be strong - I always wanted to be strong."
"You were strong." He amended the statement. "You are strong. You never needed me, or anyone else to tell you that."
A ghost of a smile haunted her lips. "I know. I needed to prove it, being away, on my own. But it was hard. And well, I got closer to ... James ... and I think it was more than he was there and you weren't."
"I wish you had told me," Tommy said, wondering what he would've done if she had.
"There's nothing you could've done," Kim reminded him, bringing life to the words in his mind. "You were here and I was there and I had already given up too much to come back. Besides, I did enjoy the competitions - I do enjoy the competitions and gymnastics as a whole. But I should've told you that ... in person or over the phone. I did chicken out by sending you the letter."
"Why?"
"Because it was easier," Kim said, shrugging. "I didn't think I could call you and hear your voice. In that way, I wasn't strong. I couldn't listen to you or see your face when I broke your heart. I was a coward and I'm really sorry."
The genuine remorse helped him move on and forgive her.
While he tried to form the right words to express just that, she kept talking, letting out a weak laugh.
"After I sent it, I used to wonder what would happen if you had wrote back, or called, or showed up in person. I spent weeks dreading going to my mailbox, not sure if I wanted to see a response or relieved that you didn't write."
"What would you have done if I had reached out?" Tommy asked. Instead of going skiing with Billy and Kat, what would've happened if he had written, or called, or even taken the next flight to Florida to get an explanation in person?
"I don't know." Kim tilted her head. "I guess I am glad you didn't. I don't think I would've dealt with it well, or ... at all. I was hoping that I had written the letter in a way that would make you not want to talk to me again."
"It is a little hard to reach out when you were compared to be a brother," Tommy said, no heat in his voice, much to his own surprise.
Kim blushed. "Yeah, I didn't mean that. I just thought it might deter you from, well, calling. Convince you that I had really moved on and was happy."
"It kinda did," Tommy acknowledged. "But are you ... happy?"
Her eyes met his. "I think so. Are you ... with Kat?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I am. Are you still with that ... guy?" Despite what he wanted to believe about moving on, he found he couldn't say his name.
Kimberly shook her head. "No, we split up a couple of months ago." She looked a little sad over it and Tommy frowned, feeling his hackles go up.
"Did he hurt you?"
To his surprise, Kim just smiled. "You may be the Red Ranger now, but you're still a bit of a White Knight, aren't you?"
To you, always. But that would definitely be inappropriate. "I guess so."
"To answer your question, no, he didn't hurt me. It just fizzled out."
Would they have eventually fizzled out? If Kim hadn't taken the initiative to break up with him?
"Yeah," was all he could say, cursing himself for his lack of communication skills. "For what it's worth, I am not angry at you ... even before we met, I wasn't."
"Thank you," she said gratefully. "Is there ... there is any chance we can be friends?"
Tommy felt himself relax completely, for the first time since he had run into her. Could they be friends? They were before they got together, right? So maybe they could be once more. "I would like that."
Her smile widened and he returned it.
"Should we go back in?" Kimberly offered. "I think they wanted to go somewhere else to celebrate."
Tommy stared out and then back at her. "Maybe in a few minutes."
"Yeah," Kim echoed, "just a few more minutes."
Then they would go back to their lives and their new (old?) friendship.
Which was perfectly fine with him.
And they did return back, realizing they would be missed if they were gone too long, and no matter how much Kat seemed to trust him, he did not want to give her any reason to doubt.
When they did, Kimberly headed towards Jason, the two longtime friends clearly happy to be alive and back to as close to their normal lives as they could be, and Tommy returned to Kat's side, where she gave him a slightly questioning look and he smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way.
"You two are fine now?"
"Yeah, we're good. You're right - we did need to clear the air, and now we can move on."
She smiled back, his reassurance working. "Good."
"Good," he echoed, and his eyes briefly met Kim who gave him a nod and smiled, which he returned.
Good. Maybe this way that it was supposed to be, but even as he thought it, he found that it didn't quite sound right. Well, he would make it sound right. No matter what it took.
It was easier when Kimberly and Jason left shortly after, both having to head back home. They all made sure to see the two former Rangers off, and there were promises to keep in touch, easier with all of them slowly getting email addresses, which were exchanged before they parted ways once more.
The first email Tommy got was from Jason.
But the second one he got was from Kimberly.
Apparently, they took keeping in touch seriously, which did touch him.
Maybe this friendship thing would work out.
Sometimes, he was slow to respond, but he made sure to actually respond, even if it was a few days late. When he apologized for it, he was just teased about his forgetfulness, which was admittedly still something he struggled with, to the amusement of his friends and family.
'I saw you on the news the other day - hope you all are okay' was a quick email he received from Kimberly, and despite the lingering aches and bruises, he felt immediately better.
When Kimberly competed in the Pan Global Games once again, they all got together to watch at Tommy's house, and Tommy couldn't be prouder when she came in second.
"She was awesome!" Adam said enthusiastically.
"Better than even before," Kat admitted.
"I think she was robbed," Aisha commented loyally. "She should've come in first!" Which had them all laughing, but none of them disputed it.
"What did you think, Tommy?" Rocky asked.
"She was great," Tommy said genuinely. "I'm happy for her." His first instinct was to say that they should do something, to congratulate her, but he wasn't sure if that would be going too far. Then again, there was nothing wrong with celebrating a friend, after such a big accomplishment, right?
"We should totally do something to celebrate her victory!" Aisha burst out. "Get her a gift or something."
And he sent a mental thank you to Aisha. He owed her one, even if she didn't know exactly what for.
But she was too distracted to receive his telepathic gratitude anyway. "Flowers ... what kind of flowers does she like anyway? Does she even like flowers? I think so ..."
Remembering Kim's attempt at a botany club, he nodded automatically, but no one noticed him.
"Who doesn't like flowers?" Kat offered.
"Does anyone remember her favorite flowers?" Aisha wondered.
Lilies, Tommy thought, she likes pink lilies. But he refrained from saying that out loud, for reasons he wasn't sure he could identify.
When he realized all eyes were on him, he shrugged. "You're asking me?"
"We figured you might know," Adam said, hesitating for a moment.
"Then again, we all know how horrible Tommy's memory is," Rocky chimed in, trying to break the tension and he was successful in his efforts, the group laughing and switching over to jokes at his expense.
They did end up chipping in for a pretty flower shaped necklace (Tommy found his ability to be subtle and nudge them toward a lily) and picked out a congratulations card that they all mailed out. In the meantime, Tommy was able to catch up with Kimberly via email to congratulate her and then eventually, over the phone, when she wanted to thank them individually for their gift.
"Congrats Ms Champion," he said, grinning, the phone against his ear.
"Well, technically, I came in second," Kim said, but he could hear the smile in her voice and was happy that she didn't sound disappointed.
"You were great," Tommy said sincerely.
"You watched?" She sounded surprised.
"We all did, together," Tommy admitted. "Why do you think we asked you when it was airing?"
"To be polite?" Kim joked. "I didn't think it would be that exciting for you."
"We're not missing your big moment, even if we couldn't be there in person," Tommy told her. "Anyway, Aisha said you were robbed."
"I'm flattered." Kim laughed. "Definitely not biased at all. I think I got an email from her actually - I've just been so busy that I forgot to respond."
"Hey, I thought I was the absent minded one in this relationship," Tommy joked and hastily amended his statement when the words hit. "I mean, this friendship ..."
Kim didn't comment on his slip. "Clearly I am coming from your crown."
"Please don't, it's all I have."
"Oh, right, you don't have anything else ... it's not like you're only saving the world all the time," Kimberly shot back. "I am sure you're doing just fine."
"Okay, you have me there." He considered his next question carefully. "Is it weird ... talking about the Ranger stuff?"
"No, I think I am used to it now," Kim assured him. "I would tell you, if it was."
He hoped she meant that.
"Okay, good."
"So tell me what you've been up to."
Tommy did, and they chatted about what was going on with their lives, before eventually having to hang up, as it was getting late in Kim's time zone. A part of him missed her before he hung up and he wondered if that was what it was like for her, back then. He wondered what would've happened if it was the other way around.
He decided not to think about it at all.
It was better off that way.
Moving forward was the right thing to do but not always the easiest. He learned that the hard way as everyone made plans for college and spent a lot of late nights contemplating what he wanted to do with his future - he'd graduate high school and then what of the Power Rangers? Is that something he would do in college? Would he move on like everyone else?
He spoke with his parents about college and Kat about their future as well as the Rangers future, but it was Kimberly that he was able to confide in about both.
They kept the Ranger discussion out of the email, and didn't talk as much on the phone, but it was as if she sensed something was bothering him in their last email conversation, because she offered to call, and he immediately took her up on it.
She barely let them exchange pleasantries before she got into grilling him. "So tell me what's wrong. Don't try to argue with me - I can tell."
He wasn't going to but he didn't even try. "How did you know?"
"How did I know what?"
"When it was time to go, move on ..."
"From the Rangers? From Angel Grove?"
Tommy cradled the phone to his ear, glancing over at the acceptance letters he had received that were spread out on his bed. "Both?"
"If I could've been a Ranger and competed, I would've done it," Kimberly admitted. "But I had to choose and I think I would've always wondered 'what if' had I not given my gymnastics career a real shot. And I'm proud of what I accomplished. It was important, to be a Ranger, to protect people, but this was for me."
"Next stop - Olympics?" he joked.
"I'm a little on the older side for that particular dream."
"That doesn't seem fair," Tommy protested. They were barely 18.
"That's the sport," Kimberly replied, clearly at ease with it. "It skews a little younger, especially by the time the next Olympics roll around. Assuming I can even qualify. So my future will have to lie at the University of Miami."
He was immediately thrown off his track at her announcement. "You got in? Congrats!"
"Thanks." She sounded pleased. "Communications and Phys Ed."
"You'll be busy," he noted.
"Don't worry, I will still make sure to respond to your emails, whenever they show up."
"I'm glad to hear that." And he was. He wasn't ready to lose touch with her again.
He wasn't ready to lose her again.
"I've been hearing from everyone else on their college plans, including Katherine," Kimberly said. "But not you. Which is why I'm guessing you called."
"Yeah," he said, "Kat ... she is going to London, to pursue ballet."
"That's quite the move."
"True, but it'll be good for her - this is her dream."
And they both knew that Tommy would never get in the way of anyone's dreams. Katherine and he had a brief discussion a long distance relationship, going back and forth, eventually deciding to stay together and just take it one day at a time. He wasn't going to pretend that he wasn't nervous, doing this again, but he also found that he wasn't interested in chasing her to London either and couldn't bring him to insist that she stayed.
That part he didn't mention to Kim. Then again, they didn't talk about their relationships. If Kim was dating someone, he wouldn't know, and she didn't ask him about Katherine, and he wasn't rushing to give up any information either. He convinced himself it wasn't anything to feel guilty over. After all, he kept in touch with Jason as well and they even managed a call, maybe, every couple of months (they were more about actions than words really). Katherine was fully aware that they spoke and while Kim was closest to Aisha, he knew that Katherine heard from her from time to time too.
"What about your dreams?"
"I'm still trying to figure that part out," Tommy confessed. "I got into MIT."
"Tommy!" There was genuine excitement there. "That's awesome! Congratulations!"
"Thanks," he said sheepishly. He was more surprised than anyone else that he got in. "I'm thinking of becoming a teacher."
"You'd be great at it. The perfect absent minded professor."
He snorted. "I should've known you would go there."
"You'd be disappointed if I didn't."
"True."
"So what's stopping you?"
"I got into a few other places, like UCLA," Tommy said. "That's ... closer."
"So you think you can do the Rangers and go to college at the same time?"
"Not if I go to MIT," he said, blowing out a breath. "Even if I can teleport ... it doesn't seem ... possible. UCLA may be a stretch too."
"Do you want my advice?"
"Please," he said, trying to make it lighthearted. His request was more serious though, and he genuinely wondered what she would think. "I'm all ears."
"Do what you'll regret not doing later," Kim said, without hesitation. "The path that will leave you wondering 'what if' in the future the most."
In his gut, he knew that would be not taking up MIT but he wasn't sure if he was ready to admit that out loud, to know that he was leaving the Rangers. As the rest of them solidified their futures, they would have to hand over their powers to the next generation yet he seemed to be the one having the hardest time with it.
He always did struggle with letting go.
"Tommy? You still there?"
"Yeah, just taking in your wise words."
"Don't make fun of me," she mock threatened. "You're the one who wanted advice!"
"I'm not!" he said, louder than intended. "I meant it! Really it's no wonder you're in communications. I'm just ... you're right. I'm still trying to figure out what that is. But one thing is for sure: I know I don't want to wonder 'what' if' someday." He had a couple of those already.
"Trust me," she said seriously. "It is not a fun feeling."
She sounded as if she was speaking from experience so he clearly wasn't alone.
He wondered what it was to cause that wistfulness in her tone.
And whether he really wanted to know.
Whether it was really the same thing.
How did the saying go? Curiosity killed the cat. They were at a good place and there was no need to potentially ruin that.
"I guess I will think about it then. Thanks, Kim."
"Anytime," she said cheerfully. "For what it's worth, I think MIT will be lucky to have you."
He pulled the phone away from his ear and then brought it back. "How did you ..."
"You wouldn't have brought it up, if it wasn't what you really wanted to do."
He smiled and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "I guess I can't hide from you."
"Not even over the phone."
And he found that he was okay with that.
In the end, he couldn't deny what he really wanted and it was MIT, and he handed over his powers, at least he could be certain that it was in the right hands. His parents were proud of him, and graduation day was surreal.
The summer flew by. He spent time with his family, his friends, and of course, Katherine, who left early to go to London. She even saw Kimberly, who was in Paris, visiting her mom and step father before she started college.
They each individually sent him postcards and a picture they had taken together, when Katherine decided to take a short trip to Paris while she was there. He saved them all.
Before he knew it, he was ready to go too, his parents traveling with him so they could settle him into college. He had a roommate, who may not end up a a close friend, turned out to be pretty chill and easy to get along with. It wasn't long after his parents left that he started to feel homesick, but he distracted with himself with preparation for school and finding a computer lab to connect with his friends. The first people he sent emails to were Jason, Kat, and Kimberly. Kim responded first.
'I know what you mean,' she had typed. 'Even though I've been in Florida for a while now, I still miss home and I miss my parents and I miss you guys. It's not the same. And my roommate is the worst. Tell me your's is better. Or don't so I'm not jealous.'
He tried not to linger on the words 'I miss you guys'. It took him right back to when she told him that she missed him, before he kissed her for the first time, and that was a memory he didn't need distracting him. Not now or ever. Especially since she was being general; she didn't miss him specifically. Just all their Angel Grove friends. Instead, he focused on crafting up a response. 'That sucks. If she doesn't like you, that's on her, and I wouldn't be surprised if you don't end up winning her over anyway. My roommate is pretty normal so I can only sympathize from afar. I hope everything else is okay.'
Hitting send, he prepared to leave, but when he turned his chair, he saw the roommate he had just been mentioning (Nick, he reminded himself, determined to fight out his terrible memory) out of the corner of his eye, heading for a computer and ended up in the conveniently empty one right next to him, seeming as surprised to see him as he was to see Nick.
Blond haired and blue eyed, Nick was tall and lean; Tommy assumed he was an athlete of some sort too, but he didn't know what kind.
"Hey," Nick greeted him. "You found this place too."
"Yeah, I wanted to let a couple of people know I'm good," Tommy explained.
Nick grinned. "Same."
Tommy was about to say more, but he noticed that he got a new email. Kimberly had already replied, and she even added an attachment with a few pictures of the campus, and one even had her on it. The body of the email explained how at least the school was pretty, but he didn't notice that; all he could focus on was her.
"Is that your girlfriend? She's pretty."
He started and looked over guiltily at Nick. "Oh, no, she's just a friend."
"Living the single life too?" Nick asked. "Well, we'll have plenty of opportunities to meet someone."
"I have a girlfriend," he said, keeping his voice even. "She's just in London. We're long distance."
"Oh." Nick raised an eyebrow. "I figured, with the way you were looking at her, she was the one."
He found himself flushing. "No, we used to date, but we're just friends now. It's not like that. She - Kim - and my girlfriend, Kat, know each other too." It took all his power to not run back and bring out the picture of Kim and Kat in Paris, but that would be even more suspicious.
Why he felt the need to force an explanation out to this person who was practically a stranger, was beyond him, but he couldn't help himself.
Nick didn't seem to sense his panic, accepting his explanation without a second thought. "Oh, my bad. I didn't mean anything by it."
He could barely hide his relief, and he still wondered why he felt so uncomfortable, even with Nick's easy acceptance. I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't have feelings for Kim anymore. She's just a friend. It's no different than Trini or Aisha, even if we don't keep in touch like that. "It's good. We're good."
That was that, with Nick turning to check his own email and Tommy went back to responding to Kim, promising the pictures that she asked for in the future. In the meantime, Kat had responded too, and he made sure to send her an extra long email, replying to what she said, and focusing on the details in between the lines.
Everything would be just fine.
Hopefully.
Soon enough, he was busy to the point that it wasn't even on his mind. He expected to have miss being a Power Ranger and he did to some extent; Nick would be confused when he kept an eye on the news, but he assumed he was liked to keep up to date and was more mature for his age, but that wasn't what he was always looking for yet more than ever, he managed without it, even if he felt guilty from time to time about getting to live a normal life while others put themselves in danger. But if he hadn't gone, he definitely would've had a 'what if' regarding MIT and this path and he would've resented ... himself, the Rangers, everything at some point, and that wasn't what he wanted.
Speaking of Nick, that semi awkward interaction didn't dictate his future relationship with Nick, who he lived with easily, the two never butting heads. Time flew by and he was happy to go home for Christmas. Kat wasn't able to make it out, but he was able to catch up with Aisha, Rocky, and Adam, and even Billy. He spoke to Kat on the phone every other day; she sounded tired, but happy.
He also spoke to Kim now and then.
"Happy to be home?" she asked.
"I think so," Tommy replied slowly. "I know it's only been a few months, but it feels weird."
Kim laughed. "Yeah, it takes some getting used to. When I was with my mom and step dad in the summer, all of a sudden, I had to tell people where I was going and where I would be. I mean, we had a curfew but it is a little bit different with parents."
"True, not that I'm exactly out late partying," Tommy joked.
"I can't really picture it from you," Kim agreed.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"No, I don't think so. You're good the way you are."
He tried not to read too much into her words. "How about you? Happy to get away from the evil roommate for a while? Has she gotten any better?"
"We kinda just got to the point where we ignored each other," Kim explained, "but in good news, she joined a sorority and there was a free room, so she'll be moving in. I'm getting a new roommate next semester, some transfer. Fingers crossed she's normal!"
"I hope so too, for your sake," he said lightly. "No Greek life for you?"
"No," Kim snorted. "I will think about it next year. It could be fun ..."
"Definitely," he said, trying to sound encouraging. He had seen the fraternities recruiting and while Nick had considered and eventually, passed, he hadn't given it a second thought. It just wasn't for him.
He heard his parents calling for dinner, so he wished her a happy holidays and she repeated the sentiment. As weird as it was to be back home, when the time came (which was again, sooner than he expected), he was still a little sad to leave.
The rest of the year passed in a blink of an eye, and as he was packing up his stuff, he marveled at where the time had gone.
"It feels like just yesterday we were moving in," Nick remarked, voicing his thoughts, packing up his own things. "How did I get so much stuff?"
"Seriously," Tommy agreed. It wasn't easy for him to open up, always having been a bit on the introverted side, but Nick made it a little easier. "When are your parents showing up?"
"Tomorrow. You?"
"Yeah, tomorrow."
"I bet you're happy to go home. Your girlfriend going to be around for the summer?"
This was one of the few times Kat had been brought up, since the computer incident, as he called it in his head. "Just for a few weeks, but it's more than nothing."
He was looking forward to seeing her; their emails had gotten more sporadic and when he could get a hold of a phone to call her, it wasn't very long either. Maybe an in person reunion would get them back on solid ground.
"That's good." Nick watched him and smiled when he caught him. "I have to say, I'm glad we're roommates. My brother kept teasing me about ending up with a weirdo. His freshman roommate used to sleep upside down with his eyes open." Tommy blanched. "Yeah, exactly. If you're looking for a roommate next year, my friend and I are searching out apartments."
Tommy agreed, expressing his own gratitude in a subtle manner, and they went back to packing.
He had gotten a job for the summer, to earn some extra cash, so even though he was technically on summer vacation, he was busy in his own way. When he met up with his friends, once Kat had returned, he found it was the same but different at the same time.
"It's weird, isn't it?" Aisha asked, sinking into the grass, as they all sat by the lake. "I know it's only been a year ..."
"But it feels like a lot has changed," Kat finished, her eyes glazed over. Tommy wondered what she was thinking.
"Yeah."
Adam looked around at them. "But no matter what, we've still got each other. That's not changing."
"No," Rocky said. "That's not changing."
Tommy nodded, even though his gaze was on Kat. "Definitely not changing."
But not everything was meant to be the same. It didn't take long for him to realize that whatever he was hoping to revive with Kat wouldn't be coming back and she seemed to feel the same way. He tried to pretend what was happening wasn't happening, but after another awkward date, a few days before she was heading back, he couldn't deny it anymore.
"Tommy ... it's not the same, is it?"
He met her pleading gaze. What did she want him to say? That it was fine, it would be okay? The truth? Something in between? "I don't know."
"You do know," Kat insisted. "Do you think we can work this out?"
"I'm willing to try," Tommy said, hesitating. "I just ..."
"Just?"
"Don't want to hold you back."
"You don't hold me back," Kat argued.
Tommy made a noncommittal sound. Confrontations weren't his thing, not emotional ones anyway. "Sometimes, it felt like you called or emailed because you had to, not because you wanted to."
"You weren't always fast with it either," she pointed out.
"No ... I wasn't."
"So are we trying to save something that isn't there?"
He ducked his head and his answer was out before he could think about it twice. "Maybe."
When they broke up, there wasn't any yelling or anger, just a resignation that they tried but whatever they had wasn't there anymore and hadn't been for longer than they would or could admit out loud. As he headed home, alone, his thoughts drifted back not to Kat, but to Kim, as she explained what went wrong with her relationship with ... James. That they had gotten together because they were in the same situation and split up when they grew apart.
Which felt like with him and Kat. He liked Kat; he had been attracted to Kat, but they had gotten together so soon after he had been dumped that he wondered if they just gravitated to each other, in a way that they may not had they not been on the Rangers together.
Maybe that's what would've eventually happened to Kim and him too, had she not met someone else first. Yet he couldn't shake the part of him that was sure that it wouldn't.
It was better not to go down that path.
But he knew he couldn't avoid it forever.
His parents were there to comfort him when he told them about his breakup. Their friends were divided, but he and Kat made sure to reassure them, individually and together, that they were really okay, and nothing had to change within their group.
Which they took to heart. Kat was gone again shortly and they all got together to see her off. When he hugged her goodbye, he was sad to see a friend go so far away, but didn't ache in the way that he would've or should've to be parted from someone he was in love with, or at least deeply in like. He didn't see anything but friendship in her eyes either.
That was probably proof they made the right decision.
In the meantime, he struggled to email Kim back, as she gushed about her internship at an up and coming consulting firm. He typed out three different emails and deleted them all, unsure of what to say. Should he bring up his breakup? Would she even care? And did he want her to?
He shook his head, feeling disloyal, even if he was technically single. We're just friends. Friends tell each other about this stuff, right? And she knows Kat. It would be hurtful if she found out from someone else.
Tommy still couldn't bring himself to do it.
A few days turned into a week, where Kim sent a second email wondering if he had gotten her last one. It was understandable, since he had been so quick with all his previous responses.
He thought about pretending he didn't or telling her he forgot with an apology - she would believe him. When he sat down to send that very response, he couldn't do it, couldn't lie ... not to her.
And he didn't reply at all.
Another week went by and he was more surprised than he should've been when he came home to his mom on the phone - that wasn't the odd part. The odd part was when she caught his eye and said, "Oh, he's home now. I'll give it over. Yeah, it was good talking to you too. Take care." She handed the phone to him, covering the speaker and he accepted it on instinct. "It's Kimberly."
Her eyes had questions that he wasn't ready to answer to anyone. "I'll, uh, take it in the next room."
He hurried into a more private spot. "Hey," he said, finally, and he could hear the click on the other end of his mom hanging up on her side.
"Well, well, well, look who is alive."
"Were you worried about that?" he asked, a little embarrassed. He hadn't considered that she might actually be worried about him, but then again, if it had been the other way around, he would've done the same. Or been worse. Tommy was self aware enough to recognize his own protecting streak that flared up even more when Kimberly was involved. Even after all these years.
"I assumed you were okay, but you did stop responding to my emails so either the connection was bad or something had happened." She paused. "Or you were ignoring me, which isn't cool at all, but I'd rather it be that than you being hurt."
"It was ... maybe that last one."
Another pause, and, "Did I do something wrong?"
The hurt came through clearly and he hurried to fix his mistake. "You didn't do anything. It was me. I ... didn't know what to say. I guess I've been busy and working out some stuff."
"Oh, I get that." She accepted it easily, a little too easily and the fact she hadn't bothered to pry made him wonder what she knew.
"Do you ... know something?"
"What should I know?"
He couldn't play this cat and mouse game. "Maybe that Kat and I broke up?"
"Yeah, that I knew," Kim admitted, after a few moments. "She reached out to me, and asked if I was going to be visiting my mom this summer, since she wanted to spent a little longer in Paris, and would like a friend. I am and well, it came up. I hope you don't mind."
"No, I know you're friends," Tommy assured her. "I guess I didn't know how to say it."
"It is weird," Kim acknowledged. "I was kinda worried about you though, even if Kat insisted you both were okay. Are you ... okay?"
"I am," he confirmed. "It was ... mutual. I guess we grew apart."
"That happens."
Kim would know. And he felt silly for being worried to tell her in the first place.
"If you want to talk," she said, "I'm probably not your first option, but I'm here anyway."
"Nah, I really am fine," Tommy said. He didn't feel that there was anything to talk about, at least not yet, but even if there was, it would be awkward for him. "But if Kat wants to talk about it, I won't be offended."
"Oh, is that so?" she countered, her tone amused. "Do I need your permission about what topics I can discuss with my friends, Mr. Oliver?"
He chuckled, his face heating up. "You know I didn't mean it like that."
"I know. I'm just teasing"
"I know that."
"Do you?"
"Just because you can read me like a book without seeing my face doesn't mean I can't do the same thing to you."
"You're definitely pretty good at that."
"Just pretty good?" He pretended to be offended.
"You're almost as good as me, and that's all you're getting," Kim said, not wavering.
"I'll take that." They fell into a comfortable silence, and he was actually catch up with what she talked about in her email, before suddenly remembering what she said earlier, going with that instead. "So are you - going to Paris?"
"Yes, after my internship is up ... it won't be long but it'll be nice to see my mom before school starts again."
A part of him wished she would come here instead. It had been over a year since he had seen her face to face, but he didn't feel like it was something he could ask. Why would she come back to Angel Grove anyway? Sure, she said she missed them, but everyone was scattered now.
Maybe she would come for you. No, they were friends, but not enough that she would spend time and money and effort to make a trip just for him. Which was fine.
It was harder to convince himself of that than ever before.
He kept up the conversation on his end, asking the right questions about his internship, and by the time they said goodbye, his heart felt lighter, even though he missed her more than before.
Sometimes, he wondered if rekindling their friendship was the right thing to do, to have her in his life, so close yet so far, but at the same time, any time he thought about letting go, letting the friendship drift or become more casual, his heart rebelled and refused to let him. This is as far as he had gotten and these past few weeks had been unbearable.
He wondered what that meant. Perhaps it was just nostalgia or the fact that he had broken up with Kat, leaving him single for the first time in a long time, so he was just drifting back to his ex girlfriend.
Or maybe he never got over her in the first place.
That answer was much scarier than the rest, and it was one he couldn't afford.
So he didn't dwell, and continued to take it day by day, treating Kimberly as the friend she was supposed to be and ignoring any hint of his heart wanting for more. It wouldn't be long before he was back at school anyway. As much as he would miss his folks, he knew that being back at school would give him a place that didn't remind him of Kim to sort himself out.
Or at least keep himself busy that he wouldn't have enough time to think about her.
Nick had stayed true to his offer of sharing an apartment with him and a friend, which was cheaper than going back to the dorms, so together, they found a 3 bedroom place near campus. The rooms were tiny but he had his own space at least and he was within walking distance. Nick's friend, Justin, was equally relaxed, more introverted than Nick, and somehow, even easier to get along with.
To his credit, Nick did seem happy to see him, ready to catch up, which they did while getting moved in and unpacking. Nick chattered happily about his internship and the new girl he had met during it.
"We really hit it off," he said, excited.
"What's the name of this girl that caught your eye again?" Justin asked lazily from his spot on the couch.
"Kim."
If Tommy's heart could stop, he would've sworn it did in that moment. "Kim?"
It suddenly hit him that Nick's internship was in Florida ... Miami maybe? He did think Kim was pretty and even if she gave off a familiar vibe, he wouldn't connect it to the picture he only saw for a few seconds. Tommy's legs felt weak and it was all he could do to keep standing.
"-Boston University."
He was brought back at that. "What?" His tone was sharper than he intended.
Nick blinked. "I said that she's from Vermont, but she goes to Boston University so we figured we could give it a shot."
It was all he could do not to sigh in relief. Stupid, it's clearly a popular name. "Oh, nice. That does make it easier."
Both Justin and Nick were staring at him with an odd expression, proving he hadn't been as nonchalant as he hoped.
"Yes," Nick confirmed slowly. "Speaking of long distance, how are things with ... Kat?"
"Oh, right, umm, we actually broke up."
Nick looked sympathetic. "Sorry about that, man."
"It is what it is." Tommy shrugged. "Long distance is hard."
"No kidding," Justin chimed in. "I had a girlfriend throughout high school, but we broke up after first semester, because it was just too tough."
"Well, it seems we're single at separate times, but you and Justin can go party," Nick joked. Seeing their matching unimpressed expressions. "Or not."
"I think I'll just stay alone for a little while," Tommy said instead.
"Here here," Justin agreed, and Nick could only shake his head, outnumbered but not seeing upset about it.
But when Tommy was alone at night, he couldn't shake what happened, wondering how even the thought of Kim dating someone else could affect him like this. What would it be like when he saw her with another guy? After all, she was going to date; hell, maybe she already was, And he had no room to talk. He had a girlfriend up till a few months ago and she had known that, always being respectful of his relationship. If she met someone new, he should be a good friend and support her too, the way she did with Kat and him, right?
Yet it still left him uneasy and unable to sleep that night.
Classes starting did keep him occupied, as he knew it would, and the second year was even harder than the first, as he slowly began working toward his actual major. He found study groups and was at Professor's office hours, trying to ingratiate himself with them, so he could get make some connections, which was what his career counselor had suggested. It would help him in terms of recommendations in the future and possibly becoming one of their TAs if he pursued a masters or a PHD, both important for paleontology, the field he had chosen to go into.
He even went to a couple of parties with Nick and Justin, but they still weren't his thing. He got a couple of looks, and couldn't bring himself to reciprocate. When Nick wanted to set him up with his girlfriend's friend, he gently pushed him toward Justin, who was more interested in dating but was currently interested in playing the field rather than getting into another relationship.
Nick seemed to think he still missed his ex girlfriend.
In a way, he did. Just not the one Nick was thinking about.
He didn't bother telling him otherwise.
By the time Christmas break rolled around, Tommy was once again ready to go back home, tired and worn out from a long and emotional draining semester. Once again, Kat wasn't going to be there, but everyone else was.
He was barely home before Rocky called to say the gang was meeting up at the Youth Center. His parents were amused as he headed out, but they didn't stop him, happy that he was able to see his friends as he was.
Unsurprisingly, he was the last one arrive. He was still working on his punctuality but he hadn't missed a class so far, even if that involved him having to run into class in his pajamas because he overslept. Weirdly, no one blinked an eye. He was so ready to greet them that he didn't realize that they had a new person ... or rather an old familiar face until he sat down.
"Hey stranger."
"Hi ..." Then he blinked as he took in the face of the person he hadn't seen in a while but wanted to see the most. "Kim?"
"It took you long enough," she said, a sparkle in her eye.
"Kim! What are you-" She stood up and he mimicked her actions. "You're here." He leaned in before he could reconsider but she didn't seem to mind, closing the distance and accepting his hug, arms wrapping around his neck.
It took all his willpower not to breathe her in; she felt perfect in his arms, but his mind was very aware that they weren't alone and this wouldn't be right. Yet, he told that part of his mind to shut up, enjoying the moment while he could.
They parted carefully. "Really, what are you doing here?"
"Surprise?" she said, grinning. She was somehow even more beautiful than before, her hair slightly longer, pulled back into a ponytail and the cheeky grin she gave him set his heart racing, and it felt like he was in the hallways of Angel Grove High School once more, unable to take her eyes off her.
"Surprise indeed," he managed. "You never mentioned that you were coming here."
"That's the point of a surprise, Tommy," Rocky chipped in and he looked pointedly at him. "What, am I wrong?"
"For once, he's right," Kim agreed, and ignored Rocky making a token protest. "I thought it would be fun ... I really missed all of you and Aisha said I could stay with her so it all worked out."
"Yeah, it definitely worked out," Tommy agreed, unable to stop smiling.
One thing was for certain: it was going to be a great Christmas.
Spending time with her was both wonderful and agonizing. For all that he missed her when he was reading her emails or speaking to her on the phone, that distance also allowed him to live in denial over his feelings. The physical distance being gone made it impossible to that denial to continue. Whatever feelings he had been thinking he didn't have or trying to push down and aside, pretending that it was nothing more than him glorifying the past were excuses that didn't hold up when he was around her.
If he had ever thought that being around her again would dissuade him of whatever old notions he had and bring him back to reality, boy, he couldn't have been more wrong.
She seemed to enjoy his company too - they spent time as a group, but he was also able to catch up with her one on one. They got some side eyes from the rest of the group, but he ignored them to the best of his ability. No one had actually said anything to him (and he hoped that they hadn't to Kim either - if they had, she wasn't acting any differently around him) so that was a relief.
Now that she was there, he spent a good amount of time trying to find her a Christmas gift and he found it in the earring that matched the necklace that they got her for her win. He had seen her wear it a couple of times, so clearly she liked the gift. Sure, they had gone the Secret Santa route and she wasn't the name he picked, but he still couldn't help but want to buy her a present.
They had plenty of opportunities to spend time together, even volunteering at an event, playing games and handing out presents to kids, many who found his plan to study dinosaurs "way cool".
"My favorite dinosaur is the t-rex," was the popular answer. "What's your's?"
"Oh, I don't know, I've been partial to the pterodactyl myself," he said at one point, and seeing Kim was nearby, winked at her. She softened and looked away, an emotion passing through her eyes that he couldn't quite recognize.
"They can fly!" came the enthusiastic answer.
"They can fly," he said, giving his full attention to the child once more.
"So the pterodactyl, huh?" Adam said later, nudging him.
"Oh ... you heard that," Tommy said, rubbing the back of his suddenly warm neck.
"You know you two haven't exactly been subtle," Adam pointed out.
"I - what, subtle? It's not what you think."
"Sure," Adam said patiently. He had always been empathetic and saw what others didn't, and at this point, much to Tommy's detriment. "It's okay, you know. None of us would judge you if-"
"If?" Tommy let him finish that statement on his own.
"If you two got back together. We see the way you look at her."
Tommy rubbed his hands together. "Adam -"
"You may not notice but she looks at you the same way."
He stared at him, jaw dropped. "Does she? She hasn't- it doesn't seem like she's looking at me any differently."
"No, she isn't, is she?" Adam said wisely. "Funny thing about that. When did I say your expression ever changed either?"
Adam left him with that thought and it was one that wouldn't go away. What he was saying ... well, it didn't make any sense. It couldn't, could it?
And he wasn't sure what to do next or if he should do anything at all.
He knew he had feelings for Kimberly and if she had feelings for him, should he even do something? As much as he wanted to believe Adam when it came to Kim's feelings, he wasn't sure if he could be brave enough to directly ask him that. What if she say no? More importantly, what if she said yes? Should they try again, after what happened the last time, risking the friendship that they had?
When he had decided he couldn't lose her again, that was still how he felt now.
Losing her once was devastating enough.
If they got back together and they couldn't make it work, he was certain that may destroy him to the point where there was no coming back.
Spending time with her as friends would have to be enough.
He had almost convinced himself of that (or at least acted as he did) when the gift exchange came around. He gave Rocky (the person he actually got) his gift and Adam got him. Everyone liked their gifts and later, when he was walking Kim home (Aisha had to leave earlier but said that she would meet Kim there), he got his chance to give her the present.
"I got you something," he admitted, as they peacefully made their way down the quiet streets of Angel Grove.
"But you're not my Secret Santa," she said, as they stopped in front of a storefront.
"I know," he said, handing her the small box. "I wanted to get you something anyway."
"I got you something too, but I didn't bring it," she admitted.
"Later," he said, almost pushing the box into her hands and she accepted it, slowly unwrapping the bow. When she saw what was inside, she gasped. "Tommy! It's so pretty."
"Do you like it?"
"I love it!" she exclaimed, carefully pulling out an earring. "It looks like my necklace." He smiled knowingly. "Which was intentional. I always thought you had something to do with that."
"It was a group gift," he said, shying away from the credit.
"And the group knew I love lilies?" she said, disbelievingly.
"I may have pointed them in the right direction," he said.
"To think, we all tease you for having a bad memory," she said, visibly touched.
"I do have a bad memory," he said wryly. "But I try ... when it matters."
Her eyes looked shiny under the street lights and he wasn't sure what to say next.
"Thank you," Kim murmured. "I really do love them."
"You're welcome," he said, not able to look at anything or anyone but her, even if he tried.
They stared at one another, until a stranger yelled out, "You know you kids are under the mistletoe!"
Tommy startled and looked over at the man passing by, with his girlfriend or wife, who was playfully rolling her eyes at him, but didn't stop him either, as they were walking a small dog.
"You should definitely kiss her," the woman said, winking. "Or you young lady, can take the initiative to."
Both of them were blushing as the couple passed by and he looked up, spotting the mistletoe.
"There it is," he said. "I didn't even see ..."
"I didn't either," Kim said hurriedly. "We don't have to ..."
"Who is going to tell, right? It's not a law ..."
"Yeah ..."
"Yeah."
Only then did he realize how close they had gotten when they stopped. He should take a step, pull away, insist they keep walking, but instead, he swallowed hard, eyes drifting from her eyes to her mouth, and he couldn't help but notice that she was doing the same thing.
Slowly, he leaned down, toward her, waiting for her to push him away, and she didn't. Instead her eyes drifted close, head tilting, and when their lips finally met, Tommy felt as if he was flying.
Her hands wrapped around his neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss, and how did he ever think he could be okay without this? Now that he kissed her again, how would he ever able to not want to?
There was no going back, only forward with Kim.
A whistle pulled them apart, and she sprang away, eyes wide, dropping the box with the earrings, looking like a deer in the headlights.
"Kim-"
"I'm sorry-" she blurted out at the same time.
"Kim, it's okay," he tried.
"It's not," she said, shaking her head, backing away from him. "It was a mistake. We shouldn't have done that."
Every word was a stab at his heart. "Was it?"
"It was," she said softly. "I'm sorry."
Then she was gone, leaving him standing there, heartbroken and unable to process what happened. How could he have been so happy and now so devastated?
He slowly leaned down and picked up the box with the earrings, returning the one she had held, so clearly thrilled with the gift, back into its box.
Now what?
That was a question he couldn't answer.
She said it was a mistake, that she didn't want this ... didn't want ... him? But she had leaned in ... kissed him back! There was no way she could've faked the feelings.
Was Adam wrong after all? Or maybe she did have feelings and didn't want to pursue a relationship with him?
He had his own ideas about why it had been wrong to follow his heart just days prior, but all those reasons felt hollow and just mere excuses to prevent himself from getting hurt. Prevent ... himself from hurting her? Prevent ... her from hurting him? And he wondered if she had gone down that path herself.
Kim wasn't one to shy away from risk, but he knew that she still felt bad about breaking his heart and he wondered if she worried she would do it again.
All he knew was that he had to ask.
Years ago, he hadn't called or chased after her, but standing there now, he found he could do nothing else.
If she said no and meant it, he would go - it would hurt, but he would go.
What he couldn't do was live his life with 'what if's'.
He had enough 'what if's' with her.
His parents and their friends knew something was wrong - none of them seemed aware of what they had shared, but they could tell. He didn't ask about Kim to their mutual friends. And Kim? She didn't call him either.
Tommy gave her space but there wasn't long before they had to go back and if he let her get on that flight back to Miami without seeing her. So he picked up the earrings, summoned his courage, and went to Aisha's house.
Aisha was the one to answer the door and she looked at him warily.
"Is Kim here?"
She nodded. "I'll get here."
"I wouldn't hurt her," he felt the need to say.
"Oh, Tommy, of course you wouldn't," Aisha told him, now smiling. "You don't have it in you. Just ... don't let her hurt you both either."
He didn't quite understand that, but she was gone before he could ask her to elaborate.
There was enough time before Kim showed up that he wondered if she was refusing to see him, and he considered leaving for a just a breath, before standing still. He would stay there for as long as it took, even if it meant staying there all night.
But she did show up, looking cautious and smaller than he had ever seen her. She closed the door behind her.
"Hey."
"Hey," she said softly.
He wasn't sure how to proceed so he handed her the box. "You forgot these."
She gave him a weak smile, reaching out, their fingers brushing as she took it, the spark that ran through his spine familiar in the best of ways. He wondered if she felt it; the way she pulled back quickly, box in her hands, eyes flickering with ... something, made him believe that she had.
"Look, Kim," he said, "About the other night ..."
She looked down and back at him pleadingly. "Tommy ..."
He straightened his shoulders. "I'm not sorry we kissed, and I don't think it was a mistake."
"We did this before ..."
"Years ago, and it was different then. Why can't we try again? Look, if you really don't want me ..."
"That's never been the problem," Kim murmured. "Even when I pretended otherwise ..."
"I tried to move on and forget you and I was never able to," Tommy said, feeling encouraged.
"We still live in different places ..."
"For now," Tommy said. "But I think we've done a pretty good job of keeping in touch so far." He gazed at her. "Kim ... I've tried doing what you are - telling myself that this isn't a good idea and that we shouldn't do this."
"What changed your mind?" she asked, genuinely curious.
"You." He took a deep breath. "You once told me that I should make the choice based on what I would regret the most in the future. Well, I know I would regret not taking this leap with you. I don't want you to be my 'what if' anymore."
"Using my words against me, aren't you?" she asked, her eyes watery. "What happened to your bad memory?"
"Hey, I told you I remember ... when it matters."
"Tommy ..."
"So, do you want to try?"
"What if it doesn't work out?"
"It will." Feeling bold, he took her hands in his. "Because we'll make it."
For a moment, he thought he had lost, that she was going to reject him, but when he saw her smile, he knew he hadn't lost her after all.
"I don't want you to be my 'what if' anymore either."
He grinned. "Then let's not do that."
Her eyes sparkled once more. "Then, Tommy Oliver, what should we do?"
He leaned his head down. "This."
And kissed her.
She kissed him back once more.
This time, he knew they wouldn't let go.