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Some people did not deserve a second chance, Jace knew. For example, the man who raised him, Valentine Morgenstern. Valentine had committed so many evil acts throughout the many years in which he had lived, and he had become unforgivable in the eyes of the majority of the Shadowhunters.
But others did deserve that chance. And Sebastian Morgenstern was one of them.
Jace had to admit he was biased. Sebastian was his second parabatai, and though the bond had been forced on them without their consent, that didn’t change the fact that they did have the bond. They had that connection to each other, and Jace could feel it every second of the day.
Jace hated Sebastian, but he was forever bound to him. It would not help to always think of him as his enemy.
He wanted to try to be his friend. That was why he was giving him a second chance.
Yet Alec, his very own parabatai, the one he had actually chosen, was fighting against it. Jace knew he hated Sebastian, and he was justified. Sebastian had killed Max. Maybe he hadn’t meant to do so, but he had, and that was something that could never be reversed. Alec’s little brother was dead. But Max had always felt like Jace’s little brother as well, and Jace was ready to give Sebastian this second chance, and if need be it, a third chance as well.
What was different? Was it because despite Max feeling like Jace’s brother, he wasn’t truly that?
Or was it just because of the parabatai bond?
Whenever Jace was in Sebastian’s vicinity and Alec was nearby, he would always spot Alec shooting distrusting looks in Sebastian’s direction. Always tense and ready to draw out a weapon if Sebastian made even the slightest suspicious move.
Jace couldn’t blame him for that. But he did feel annoyed.
Despite how Alec thought, though, Jace would give Sebastian this chance and a third chance.
He would not give Sebastian a fourth chance.
“I’d feel better if you stopped hanging out with that guy.”
“Wow, Alec,” Jace whistled, gazing up at the other boy. Jace’s head was currently resting on Alec’s lap, and he had been trying to take a quick nap before Alec had oh-so-rudely woken him up with his words. “Aren’t you possessive.”
“It’s not that,” Alec bit out, then paused. “Okay, maybe it’s a little like that. But that’s not the point. The point is-”
“I know,” Jace murmured, sighing. “I know. But I explained it to you before.”
Alec glanced away, seeming to recall their conversation in the training room. “Right. You need to trust him to have your back, because you’re parabatai now.”
Jace attempted to grin and lightly punched Alec’s shoulder. “That’s right.”
“But my feelings on this still remain,” Alec said. “I don’t trust him.”
“You might have to learn how to,” Jace said, getting up. “I know I do.”
Isabelle and Clary were in the training room again. Jace watched as Isabelle’s whip shot through the air, aiming for Clary’s arm. Clary, being much less experienced than the other girl, wasn’t able to dodge it in time. She let out a brief cry of pain.
“Clary,” Jace called out. “Are you okay?”
Clary rolled her eyes affectionately at him. “I’m fine. Besides, you’ve been through worse, haven’t you?”
Been through worse.
For just a brief moment, Jace remembered Valentine, whipping Jace after a mistake he had made as a little boy. Jace’s breath caught in his throat.
Yes. I’ve been through worse.
But Jace refused to show these emotions to Isabelle and Clary. “Work on your agility,” Jace suggested.
“I think I can handle teaching her,” Isabelle said to him. “Why don’t you rest? You look tired.” She smiled tightly, and Jace almost felt like pointing out how tired she felt as well.
Jace knew that sometimes Isabelle couldn’t sleep at night, her dreams filled with memories of Sebastian killing Max.
“Alright, I’ll go,” he said, though, because he knew that telling Isabelle to leave would just end up with both of them refusing to budge. “I’ll see you later.”
Izzy nodded and turned back to Clary, who had finished applying an iratze. “Let’s try that again.”
As Jace left the training room, he paused as he saw a certain someone hurrying toward him. His parabatai and his boyfriend. “Alec?”
“Jace,” Alec breathed out. “Are you okay? For a moment, through the parabatai bond, I felt…”
“Alec,” Jace interrupted. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
Alec studied his face, but Jace was skilled at hiding his emotions, especially those that dealt with his trauma. “If you say so…”
“See you tomorrow morning,” Jace said, leaving for his room. He felt Alec’s gaze on his back the entire way there.
The memories of Valentine and the whip did not leave his mind. Soon, before dawn was even close to breaking, Jace awoke.
Sebastian’s face was surprised as he opened the door. Jace could take a guess why.
“Sebastian,” he said. “Can I talk to you?”
Sebastian nodded, stepping back. “Come on in.”
Jace accepted the invitation and entered, looking around the plain room. Finally, he said, “Did father ever… whip you?”
Sebastian flinched, then, contrary to Jace’s expectations, began to take off his shirt.
“Sebastian, wha-” Jace started, then his voice faltered as Sebastian threw the shirt onto the ground.
On the demon-blooded Shadowhunter’s back were scars. Scars that came from a whip.
“He did,” Sebastian said. “And they were permanent.”
Jace swallowed. “I guess I should be lucky that mine weren’t.”
Sebastian looked at him through narrowed eyes. “I always thought that he didn’t hurt you at all. Not that way, at least.”
“He did,” Jace murmured, stepping closer. Sebastian leaned down and put his shirt back on, and Jace said, “I came to you. Not Alec, not Izzy, not Clary, not even Simon. I came to you because I thought…” his voice choked. “I thought you would understand.”
Sebastian gazed at him. “I do,” he said quietly. “I understand better than anyone else ever could.”
Jace let out a breath. “I knew it.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Sebastian said, “They hurt every day. So yes, you were lucky. But in that moment he hit you, you were in pain. Just like me.” He didn’t meet Jace’s eyes. “Are you going to leave now?”
“I think,” Jace said, “that I’ll stay. For now.”
Sebastian nodded. He didn’t question it. He really does understand.
That night, neither of them spoke any more words. They didn’t need to.
And in the morning, Jace would wonder why he had gone to Sebastian. Even if he understood, even if Jace was giving him this second chance… why had he gone to someone like him?