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Mace Windu wasn't one to dwell on what-ifs or overthink his plans and decisions. Mace was raised and trained as a Jedi, lived his whole life as one, and everyone in the galaxy knows that Jedi do not dwell on what could have happened, they just accept the facts and move on. They keep on going because that's how a Jedi should function.
Mace is a proud Jedi Master and Councillor and he will defend the Jedi Order till his death. The Jedi are the closest thing he ever has to a family, and the only home he has ever known. Within the halls of the Temple, Mace finds peace and serenity. Security and safety. And most importantly; the sweet taste of belonging.
But Mace was never always this calm or calculated. When he was a Padawan, still eager to be Knighted and too reckless and rash to think straight or control his anger, he got into countless fights with his age mates and had many missions ruined due to his blazing temper. His Master - an old man who had endless patience and tolerance - sometimes simply let him destroy the things in his room when he was a teenager instead of goading him into meditation.
It took years and years for Mace to control his need and hunger for battle. Ironically though, the only way to soothe that hunger was to invent one of the most violent and powerful lightsaber forms ever known to Jedi; Vaapad. It served him for years and still does, keeping his anger tucked away in a tightly locked chest and letting the face of the peaceful promising Jedi inside of Mace to show.
His Master had Knighted him with a smile so bright it could have probably competed with the sun's. Before their bond was severed, Mace felt nothing but pride and joy during the last moments of his Knighting.
His pride and glory of being a Jedi never once faltered. Never. Even when questionable things happened. Even when people in the Senate or somewhere in the galaxy doubted the Jedi. Mace still defended the Jedi and their views with all of his might. Still put his forbidden passion into making sure that the person who dared to ever wrong the Jedi see their mistake.
So it's only natural that Mace struggles not to argue with the twelve standard years old youngling who graciously got accepted into the Order by the Jedi Council. After everything that happened and the dangerous power mixed with overwhelming fear radiating off the boy, he should be thankful they ever accepted him.
Anakin has been his Padawan for only three years now. Mace has almost thrown himself out of the window in the Council room when Obi-Wan had confessed that Qui-Gon made him promise to train the boy before he died moments later, making it the man's last wish. As Jedi, they honour the wishes of the dead, it is a tradition.
One that Mace had been proud of until that blasted and fateful day.
Again, naturally, he couldn't allow a freshly Knighted Padawan who just lost his master and has had his life turned upside down in a couple of hours to train the small almost feral child with no previous training or common manners into being a Jedi. By the Force the boy couldn't even read or write.
Seeing as no one else was going to volunteer for the part, and there is no way Anakin is to be accepted in the Crechè and even if he was, no one would be able to train him or be able to contain his power. The task was given to Mace, seeing as he's the Grandmaster of the Order and is their best fighter. He had pretended not to see Depa's wide grin as he accepted the role.
Anakin was ecstatic to know that he would be a Jedi, but his face had quickly turned sour as he realised who would be training him. His face had turned to Obi-Wan, expression one of utter betrayal and desperation and emotional that Mace almost gagged. He had a suspect that Obi-Wan may have gagged internally as well.
The former Padawan then knelt down in front of Anakin and put both hands on his shoulders to look him in the eyes. I'm not the one who's fit to train you. Obi-Wan had said and then continued despite Anakin's loud protests. You're much stronger than I am. More than anyone else here even. You'll need someone stronger. The strongest one around here.
Anakin didn't look convinced the slightest bit, nor did he look reassured. His bottom lip was trembling when both Mace and Anakin recited their vows as Master and Padawan and forged a bond between them. The first second of it, Mace was almost certain he would faint from the intensity of the emotions the boy has been strongly projecting. Rage. Hatred. Fear. Love. Longing. They were all mixed together and exploded into Mace's head.
After only a month of being a Padawan, Anakin was taught how to shield his mind and how to keep track of his emotions. Mace felt a flashing hint of disappointment race through their bond at lightning speed, but it was quickly wiped away. His heart didn't waver at the hurt he felt radiate from Anakin most times when Mace told him to do better and to focus on being a good Jedi.
The boy will have to learn one way or another. He's going to be a Jedi. Jedi don't do emotions. They do logic.
Right now, standing in front of the twelve years old who is scowling at him with that awful frown on his face that was once an adorable pout when he was younger, Mace struggled to keep his anger in check. Something he hasn't struggled with since he was a teenager. Anakin could really hit a nerve sometimes.
"The Jedi are a respected and ancient civilisation that's been here since before the start of the technical life," Mace said evenly as he gave the boy his glare, which seemed to have no effect on said boy by now.
"Maybe, but they're nothing more than puppets to the Senate now," Anakin said through gritted teeth, not doing as well as Mace at hiding his anger.
"The Jedi serve the Senate, and we are not puppets," Mace replied, pursing his lips. The boy has yet to use the word we or us when talking about the Order. It is always they and them.
"Serve, protect, help," Anakin scoffed, crossing his arms. "You do as the Senate tells you and you never dare to do anything else. You don't even help people outside of the Republic. It's only the Republic you care about."
"The Jedi have compassion for all creatures," Mace almost snapped, managing to keep his temper in check at the last moment. "We help everyone-"
"-Who lives in the Republic's system." Anakin interrupted, brows furrowing even more.
"Because we, again, serve the Republic." Mace maturely chose to ignore the boy's rude manners.
"So a Jedi only helps people when he benefits from it?" Anakin said sarcastically. "Amazing. You deserve a medal for that."
Again, you.
"A Jedi helps people when he knows there are people in need." Mace breathed, his own brows hardening just a little.
"Hmm," Anakin hummed, raising one hand to rub at his chin. Mace knows that look. He's being mocked. "I guess the slaves all across the galaxy are just happy being whipped and sold naked, aren't they?"
Shock briefly filled Mace's mind, but then he quickly shook his head internally and thought of a way to reply.
"I never said they are." Mace said after he recovered from his shock. "But what I'm saying is, we cannot help those who live outside of the Republic."
"And why not!" Anakin asked, his voice rising a bit.
"I already told you, we serve the Senate." Mace said.
"Why should you be serving the Senate when you should be serving the people!" Anakin exclaimed, his arms falling from their previous crossing.
"Because we have been here for years. For years, thousands if not millions of years, we have served the Republic. I don't see a reason why we should stop now."
"You're only doing this for show!" Anakin yelled, hands balled into fists. "What about the millions of people who think the Jedi are good people?! The ones who sleep and dream of a Jedi rescuing them?! The ones who believe that someday a Jedi will come for their aid?!"
"As long as they're in the Republican territories, then we will." Mace said not missing a beat. "We have no business going outside of our field."
"Your field is supposed to be helping people!" Anakin finally shouted. Distantly, Mace heard something break, which wasn't unusual because of the boy's constant tantrums.
"And we do help them." Mce said steely.
"You help the Republic!" Anakin spat. "You never once thought to help a slave! All you care about is your image and to be funded by the Senate! That's why you don't wanna help us! Because you're given everything by the Senate!"
"Who is 'us'?" Mace asked, attention catching onto that single spoken word. The one time the boy spoke the word us in his presence, it wasn't to refer to himself as one of the Jedi.
Mace feared of what he might be referring to himself as.
Anakin immediately clamped his mouth shut, eyes comically wide and breaths harsh. A dazed look in his eyes showed itself, and soon, the young Padawan started scratching at his right arm. His mouth started mumbling things in a language Mace doesn't understand. His movements were rapid and violent, as if he's in some sort of a mad state.
"Anakin-" Mace called, trying to gain the boy's attention.
Anakin, however, didn't seem to hear him, for he kept on digging through his tunics till he finally decided to just rip his tunic's arm off and then scratched wildly at a particular spot on it. Mace dropped his defensive stance, immediately kneeling down to the child's level.
"Anakin-" he tried again, wincing when he saw blood draw from how harsh Anakin has been scratching his arm. Blood dripped into the remaining white tunic and later on to the floor. When Mace had reached out to him, Anakin shook violently.
"Don't touch me!" he shouted with a mad glint in his eyes. "I will not be your slave any longer! I refuse to!"
The room dropped with temperature as the realisation finally dawned on Mace. The reason behind these petty arguments and silly remarks. Behind these raging tantrums and severe panic attacks. Behind this bad attitude and cold demeanour.
Cautiously, Mace took a few steps back, still crouching. He knew from experience that it's best to stay away from Anakin when he got into such state, since the boy feels safer when no one is close to him. Mace didn't mind that. In fact, he relished in the fact that Anakin won't be needing emotional or physical closure during these episodes.
But the feeling of helplessness as he saw the boy in his charge draw breaths and still gasp as if he's underwater is weighting down on his heart regardless. While Mace isn't an emotional person, that doesn't mean he's completely heartless. He still wants and needs to find a way to comfort Anakin, but the best way is to stay away.
Anakin has made it clear more than once.
Through the boy's panic attack, all Mace could think about were the words; That's why you don't wanna help us!
When Anakin woke up, Mace was by his side the moment he got notified of his Padawan's current state. Master Che said she is willing to confine Anakin to the Healing Halls if it means he will stop driving himself into a frenzy. She had showed Mace the damage his anger has caused to his nerves system and even recommended yet again for Anakin to speak to a mind healer regarding his obvious anger issues.
Mace can relate to being angry. He truly could. After all, he's been angry almost his childhood and teenage years. If there's anyone out there who is ought to understand what being angry means, it is Mace. But Anakin isn't just angry. Anakin is furious.
In the Force, he doesn't shine with warmth like a star like any Jedi would, he burns with the heat of a thousand suns combined together. He lashes and crisps everything that comes near him. He is in control of everything around him. Everything he and the entire Temple is, it is all under control of his severe mood swings. Master Che said it's a symptom of depression and possibly other mental illnesses or disorders the boy has yet to visit a professional to get a real diagnosis.
Anakin's trust in those around him is just like the trust in a black hole not to swallow everything in its way. No matter what the Jedi do, they will always be the bad guys in his eyes and Mace just can't understand why. Why is Anakin feeling like he is an outcast? Why does he hold such a heavy grudge against the Jedi? What makes him think that there is no one to trust around here?
The moment he mentioned any of this to Master Che, he was met with pursed lips; her indication that she knows the answer and it is quite obvious but she is holding her tongue out of respect. Whatever it is, this silly reason that makes Anakin behave this way, Mace just wants to know it and fix whatever the boy overthought himself in and get it over with. Alas, said boy never makes anything easy.
He outright ignored Mace and refused to let anything out of his mouth. While their relationship has never been close, whenever Mace asked something or said anything to Anakin, he was met with an actual response instead of an angry scowl or tense silence. It's almost like the boy is restraining himself both physically and mentally not to lash out at Mace or anyone around him. Such behaviour reminded Mace of the time the boy stood in front of him in the Council room three years ago, seeing nothing but a fearful child with rage that doesn't suit his small frame.
It reminds him every day of just how dangerous Anakin is. A ticking bomb. One that you cannot detect its time of explosion.
Master Che suggested he takes him to a rage room, which was met with Mace's immediate frown of disapproval at just the mere words of letting the boy act so un-Jedi like. Master Che looked ready to slap him into a black hole then, her angry eyes still haunting Mace in his sleep.
"Jedi or not, a child is a child." Master Che said with her lips crossed in a thin line. "He has seen much trauma in his life and he deserves to have some place where he can let go of himself."
"With all my respect, Master Che, but we are Jedi," Mace replied, a hint of mocking in his voice. "We don't let ourselves go."
"Is that why you always train heavily in Vaapad?" Master Che challenged, a brow raising. "Why is it you get the privilege of letting go of your anger in a violent way when he doesn't it? Because you were born and raised here? Because you use Jedi methods?"
"Yes." Mace said, almost snapping at her. "I know when to let go and when to not. The boy doesn't. The reason behind all of this isn't because of normal teenage issues, it's from his past. A past he should have moved on from."
"How?" Master Che didn't back down. "How is he supposed to move on? He was a slave. Force knows what he went through. His actions are more reasonable than a teenager's in his situation."
Mace didn't reply to that because he knew it would fall on deaf ears. Or rather, Lekku. Master Che seems to have a soft spot for Anakin. Since the moment the boy was brought to her Halls, shaking with hunched shoulders on her table, she had used a far more gentler pattern than Mace has ever seen her use with anyone before.
He has no doubt that if Mace didn't take Anakin to a rage room, Master Che would instead. Probably tell him more about how normal his reactions are, which is something Mace doesn't want to happen.
So he ends up taking Anakin for that rage room, waited outside as he felt the ground and the building shake, and was there to meet the bloody and bruised boy with a nonchalant expression on his face. Anakin seemed calmer. Better. Even responded to Mace with no angry remarks. He refused to look at Master Che's triumphant glint in her eyes when she tended to Anakin afterwards.
Something in the air between them, in the rising tension that's been growing over the last few months, has dissipated. They started having conversations. Well, if you can call good morning and how was your day? conversations then yes. Anakin seemed much more calmer than before. His eyes no longer twitched in irritation every now and then but the rage surrounding his Force presence never left.
A few months later, three or four months to be exact, Mace found himself dealing with a bantha-headed teenager once more. The edge around Anakin's presence seemed to have grown spikes and was ready to shoot them at anyone in sight. Mace was forced once more to take him to a rage room. Just like magic, Anakin seemed to be a completely different person than the one he was the day prior. Mace made sure to take him to a rage room every few months, just when Anakin starts acting more irritable than usual.
"I want to meet a mind healer." Anakin said firmly after their finished training session.
Mace stared at the now thirteen years old boy with a gaze that didn't betray his thoughts. Anakin has become somewhat more tolerable than before. His demeanour has quietened noticeably, giving room for the Jedi in him to come to light. After Mace stayed silent long enough, Anakin decided to speak again.
"I have consulted both Master Che and Depa about it and they have approved of my decision and encouraged me to do it. I've already applied to see multiple mind healers in the Healing Halls, I'm just telling you."
Anakin met his gaze with determined eyes, unrelenting in his choice. Somewhere deep inside Mace, he felt the whisper of pride ring through his chest. This Anakin has come far from the boy who was too brash, too prideful to ask others for advice. But still, his behaviour doesn't truly count as one of a Jedi.
"Then I shall wish you good luck on your journey, young Padawan," Mace said, clasping his hands. It is the first time he ever addressed Anakin as Padawan.
The boy's expression immediately brightened, and it surprised Mace just how much he struggled to keep his own lips from tugging up in a similar way.
Mace had to keep his eye from twitching at the news his now fifteen years old Padawan has graced him with. Over the two years of mind healing, he and Anakin have grown closer. Their conversations are actual conversations now. They tell each other about their days, their struggles, crack a few jokes about annoying fellow Jedi even. Anakin has become a better person than Mace ever remembers him to be.
He has trained with Mace over every lightsaber form. Spent most of his time practicing every and each one of them until they became near perfect. While he was nowhere a match for Masters who have decades of experience he can easily overpower Padawans his age and hold his own against Knights. His problem remains with meditation since the boy cannot sit still but he is working on something with his mind healer to make him less aggressive.
Slowly, both Anakin and Mace became friends rather than foes. Their previous conflicts seem almost laughable now. They have bonded enough to the point they tell each other almost everything that's important or huge. Which is why it hurts Mace when Anakin said what he said.
"I said, I have my slave chip still installed in my back. I thought it was in my arm at first but the scans showed otherwise," Anakin said slowly, freaking Mace even more out with the way he says it so calmly as if it means nothing. Perhaps now, six years after his freedom it does not mean much to him as it used to be.
"We- You've never got it out?!" Mace asked in an uncharacteristically shaky voice.
Anakin shook his head, still calm. "I've spoken to Master Che about it, she's going to be in charge of the operation. She said it's not risky at all. Depa already spoke to me about it and told me to get it out as soon as I'm ready."
"Depa knows?" Mace couldn't help the betrayal that seeped through his heart. He had thought that he and Anakin had no secrets between them. Especially secrets this big. While he appreciates his former Padawan's doting and protectivness of his current Padawan, he cannot help but envy the fact that he isn't Anakin's first choice.
And why should he be? He has been nothing but rude and cruel to the child the moment he laid eyes on him. Mace had seen him back then more of a weapon than a person, he is ashamed to even think about it, but over the years, he had learned more about the small boy that is Anakin Skywalker. The one who loves starships and adores droids. The one who has so much kindness and compassion for others. The one with a promising future and a true spirit of a Jedi.
If he could turn back time, Mace would kick himself where the sun doesn't shine. Just to remind himself that this is an actual human being he's dealing with. Someone who has been enslaved and tortured. Someone who didn't have anything but the clothes on his back when he stood in front of him for the first time. Someone who only had one comfort and that was his mother.
With a sickening grimace, Mace suddenly realised that Anakin's mother may be still stuck on Tatooine, still a slave. Still suffering and whipped and starved just like how Anakin told him he was in the rare times he opened about his past. The more Mace learned about him, the more he wished he can just turn back time and do his Padawan justice.
As a Jedi, he was taught to let go of such emotions. To let go of the past and move on. To not dwell on what-ifs. But as he stood there, watching his still very young Padawan tell him more about the operation, all Mace could think about is an even younger version of him being subjected to the worst kinds of fate known to man. How Anakin is one of many. He wondered how many Anakins are out there. How many are still dealing with and growing up in such conditions.
Suddenly, his argument with the boy three years ago made total sense. Anakin wasn't criticising the Jedi out of hatred. He was doing it out of bitterness. Out of injustice and unfairness. He was reproaching Mace for the failures the Jedi have done. For the lives they couldn't save because they were too busy serving greedy and selfish senators when innocent children were in a dire need of help. Anakin was one of them, and he has stood before Mace and confronted him about what he did not do.
Anakin had been a wake up call.
So, staring at his Padawan, who is only fifteen but already much stronger and wiser than anyone his age should be, all because of what happened to him. Mace couldn't stop his arms from reaching out and holding the child as tight as he could manage to his chest. Anakin let out a yelp of surprise, tensing at the unexpected and abnormal affection. Something he is not used to.
"I'm sorry." Mace said regretfully before Anakin could get a word in, letting the meaning of the words fly through their bond. "I'm truly sorry."
Anakin relaxed only a moment later, gently wrapping his arms around Mace but no less tightly than his Master is. He sent compassion-kindness-forgivness through their bond as he enclosed his arms around the older man. The message clear; I forgive you.
Mace tightened his grip, making a mental note to himself to free Shmi Skywalker as soon as he could.
Being the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order has its perks. While the overload work is nowhere near fun and the headaches Mace has at the end of the day is enough to blow up an entire planet he still benefits from his role. For example? His small, harmless trip to Tatooine. No one knows about it and no one can question it because this is Mace Windu. The Mace Windu.
Naturally, Mace felt guilty and a bit ashamed at taking advantage of his authority but he told himself it is for the right reasons. It is Anakin's face that lit up like the stars in hyperspace that made him squish any doubts about this mission. Anakin has already prepared him for it; told him that Republic credits are not dealt with and have no worth outside of Republican territories.
Mace made sure to turn whatever money he has to wupiupis. If it comes to it, he will buy Shmi Skywalker, even if it filled his throat with nausea and made him want to gut himself and rid himself of the thought that he will buy a slave. As if he owns her. He thinks of Anakin who had also been bought and then freed. Something in Mace made him want to strangle Qui-Gon even if he is already dead and became one with the Force.
Together, Anakin and Mace walked through the crowded streets of Mos Espa; a place Anakin knew by heart. With Anakin's instructions to keep his head low, hood up, hide his lightsaber and avoid everyone at all costs, Mace felt the darkness around him swirl in delight. Around him the Force rang with presences of tainted, cruel and greedy people of all kinds, gathered in this worthless place to commit their most sinful acts, where no one is there to keep watch.
In no time, Master and Padawan made it to the small shop that belongs to Watto. Mace kept his grimace of disgust to himself as he got clear visions from the Force of a small blonde boy working day and night with no breaks, no water or food to make sure he doesn't get starved even more. Or worse, beaten. The feelings surrounding this particular shop overwhelmed him and he briefly wondered how can anyone make it out of this sane. Much less selfless and kind.
Watto fit Anakin's description well. Ugly, fat and filthy. Mace has to add horrendous because slavers are nothing but. The wretched creature was muttering something to himself, putting out a twisted smile on his face when he noticed customers.
"Ahh! Customers Customers! Come inside!" Watto's voice was guttural and deep. It matches his appearance quite well. Just as awful as the rest of him.
"Mee'm looking che shmi skywalker." Anakin said in a foreign language. One that Mace had heard the locals outside speak. His mind clicked with the realisation that it is Huttese.
"Um coo are u?" Watto replied, irritated, previously fake warm mask falling off.
"She sa myo mother. Let je stuka cheekta." Anakin replied, his face unreadable.
"Ahhhh! Little ani! U're nopa so little anymore, eh?" Mace didn't understand this language, but he caught on just enough to know that Anakin has revealed himself. He didn't like the way Watto smiled at the revelation either.
"Myo mother, watto. Konchee sa she?" Anakin asked in an impatient voice.
"U can't stuka cheekta. She sa myo shag. Mee will nopa let u talk tah cheekta." Watto lost his smile once more, giving Anakin a hard glare.
"Mee'm unko tah free cheekta." Anakin said between clenched teeth. Mace noticed how closed off he became in their bond and tried his best to send soothing waves through the Force. Alas, the shop's atmosphere remained thick with tension.
"Free her?!" Watto laughed, throwing his sullen head back. "You do not have enough money for her, boy. Your mother is the only slave I have left. I can't let go of her."
Mace wanted nothing more than to punch that piece of junk and knock him out cold. This filthy slaver dares to even deny the boy from seeing his mother, this much Mace has gathered. Mace refuses to sit by and watch this unfold.
"We have the money," Mace wisely chose not to address Watto. Watto feels too respectful and any other names Mace has in mind will only result in breaking off any chance they have of making a deal with him.
"I don't take credits!" Watto growled.
"Who said anything about credits?" Mace shot back. "I think five thousand is enough."
"No!" Watto barked, getting into his face. "Did you not hear me, shiny Jedi? This is my last slave!"
"You better accept the money or I'll give you something else instead." Anakin said through gritted teeth.
The room around them started shaking, and soon, everything started to clatter and fall to the ground. Mace felt the shop heat with anger and the sun that is Anakin Skywalker beginning to prepare flames to lash out at anyone who stands in his way. Quite frankly, Mace does not want to stop him from killing this filth. But killing out of hatred is not the Jedi way.
Just as he was about to interject, a man slipped beside him, carrying a bag of what Mace assumed is money. He looked worn and tired but his Force presence glowed with warmth and kindness. It is the first time Mace has ever felt such kindness from someone on Tatooine since they first landed here.
"There are three thousand here," the man whispered, trying to be as discrete as possible. "I asked Watto the price for her freedom six months ago. He wants eight thousand. Take it. Free the boy's mother."
Mace stared in bewilderment at the man, confusion and shock taking over his mind for a brief moment. While the offer is both surprisingly welcome and suspicious, Mace could detect nothing but genuine care from this stranger. He has also learned long ago that if offered something you cannot get yourself, accept it. And this is what he did.
"Eight thousand." Mace broke the fight in Huttese between both Anakin and Watto by putting both bags of money on the table. Anakin looked at him, expression still unreadable but Mace could feel him asking about everything all at once.
"You have a deal." Watto said with a greedy look. "Though I might charge you with more-"
In a flash, Anakin had his lightsaber out and ready to strike, sizzling against Watto's neck. Mace couldn't find it in himself to stop the boy. He quite enjoyed the fear Watto is spreading all over the room.
"If you don't want to your head off of your neck in a second, shut up and take six thousand." Anakin whispered dangerously, the anger Mace sees in him at the moment reminded him of Anakin's earlier years as a Jedi.
"But this is an outrag-" Watto was cut off by his own scream as Anakin pressed a little bit harder on his neck.
"Fine. You take the five thousand. And you'll be happy about it." Anakin said firmly, brows mixing together. "Clear?"
Watto nodded hastily, watching in disappointment as Mace took the smaller bag and hid it away. As long as he doesn't know that this money belongs to the strange man, then all will be fine. Together, they made their way out of the shop, leaving it as deserted as it was before they entered.
The man had walked with them, Anakin shooting him questionable glances every now and then, but still not doing anything due to the man's kind presence in the Force. Mace let the man walk alongside them, since the man planned to free Shmi from the very beginning and clearly knows enough about her to know Anakin. If he is this close to her, then they must be close.
Mace might have an idea on how close they are, but he will not say a word about it to Anakin.
Seeing Anakin talking to Shmi stirred something within Mace's heart. Something he didn't know existed. The sight of his Padawan, happy and relieved, his presence in the Force bright and so full of delight in a way that Mace has never seen it shine with before. Any doubts or concerns about this mission was quickly swept away by the sight of Anakin's seemingly peace of mind.
Shmi had her arms around her son the whole time they spoke, her eyes shinning with so much love and her signature blazing with immense happiness. Her thoughts and emotions were scattered all over the place since she's a Force null, unable to shield her mind or feelings. Joy, wonder, love, care, all of these emotions were mixed together and glowing on her face. Mace didn't know that someone could hold that much love for another. Didn't think it's even possible.
This moment felt private and almost sacred. Mace didn't think he should be watching it but he couldn't take his eyes off of the family that was just reunited. At the mother who had been a slave for most of her life and let go of her son in a hope for a better life and at the son who despite everyone around him telling him to let go of his mother had came back for her.
He knew at that moment that he can never ever turn Anakin away from his mother again. Not when the boy's inner conflict gentled to an almost soft wave instead of the raging waves that it used to be. Not when he's looking the calmest and happiest since Mace has ever seen him. If Anakin decides to stay here alongside his mother - and quite honestly, why shouldn't he? The boy didn't have the best Jedi life experience - then Mace can't do anything to stop him no matter how much it irked him to even think of letting Anakin go.
He and Cliegg - the man who had helped them free Shmi, who also turned out to be in love with her and have planned along with her to free her and be able to marry - sat in the kitchen while Anakin and Shmi were catching up privately in Shmi's room while she packed her few belongings.
"I never thought the boy will be back," Cliegg said as a conversation starter. "Shmi always believed in him despite what everyone said. I knew the Jedi wouldn't let him come back, but I didn't want to be the one to break her heart."
Mace's heart sank as he realised the implication of the words. The farmer wasn't only asking on why did he let Anakin come back to see and even free his mother, he also was surprised to see that the Jedi even cared enough about the slaves stuck here to come. Surprised that a Jedi will help.
Helping others is the first thing the Jedi ever did since they begun as an Order. Their vows are about serving people and being selfless. To bring hope and justice. Freedom and liberty. Yet, somehow, over the years their reputation has warped until it became known that the Jedi are mere puppets to the Senate, doing whatever they could to help the selfish and narcissistic leaders who cause the issues instead of the people who are taking the heat of them.
For the first time in his life, Mace felt ashamed to be a Jedi.
"Anakin is no regular Jedi." Mace said at last, choosing his words wisely. "He is the most caring, selfless and compassionate person I had the honour to meet. I have no doubt that such a promising Padawan will become a powerful Jedi Knight someday."
"He seems pretty loyal," Cliegg added his own share of praise, his eyes dancing away towards Shmi's door. "And I'm glad that he did come back here. Shmi was getting worse every day without him by her side."
Mace stayed silent for a few seconds. "He cares deeply for his mother and never once gave up on her. His state apart from her was the same as hers. If he does decide to stay here, then he shall be remain with her."
The words hurt to say, piercing his heart with small vibroblades, but Mace said them anyways. It is Anakin's life and his choices at the end of the day, not Mace's.
"And if he doesn't?" Cliegg challenged, narrowing his eyes. For the first time, Mace saw the man that lived on Tatooine his whole life and was accustomed to danger. "If he doesn't want to leave her and wants to be a Jedi? Will you forbid him from seeing her again? I cannot allow you to break her heart by keeping her boy from her."
A bit surprised at the protectivness that dripped from the man's words, Mace hesitated to reply with an automated Jedi reply. The replies he has been saying for decades now, engraved deep in his mind. Mace thought long and hard before he spoke next.
"If Anakin wishes to be a Jedi and still have contact with his mother, then that can be arranged. As long as he doesn't forget about the morals and lessons the Jedi have taught him."
The answer seemed to please Cliegg, because he leaned back into his chair with ease, his posture no longer tense. Neither of them said anything after that, letting the time pass as the faint chatter of mother and son filled the quiet quarters. Soon enough, Anakin and Shmi emerged from Shmi's room, each one with a grin so wide it can crack their faces into two.
Shmi's smile softened as she looked at Cliegg, and Mace has to admit that something akin to affection shone on the gruff man's face as he stared right back at her. Anakin looked between them with a gentle smile on his face, genuine happiness for his mother breaking its way through their bond.
It seems as if Anakin has found himself a new family. A father and a brother. He will be part of their joy soon enough if he decides to leave the Order right here and now. That same ugly feeling Mace has been feeling whenever he thinks of Anakin leaving crawled its way into his heart once more, telling him to take the boy and run. Mace reprimanded himself for such thoughts, the boy has every right to live with his new family, even if it means cutting all contact with Mace.
When they took Shmi and Cliegg to the Lars' farms, Mace found his heart thumping in his chest loud enough to be able to hear it in his own ears. Anakin may leave right now and it might be the last time Mace will ever see him. With his face as stoic as ever, walls tight as the Serennoian steel, Mace faced the situation at hand with more composure than he felt.
"I guess this is it," Anakin said as he turned to Mace, his smile still present on his face. Mace's heart dropped as he knew what was coming. "I'm just happy to know my mum is going to be alright and happy before I'm leaving her forever."
Just like that, all the preparations Mace has made in advance for the moment he thought for sure would come crumbled and he was left blinking blankly at Anakin, years of training carefully hiding his inner turmoil.
"You're not staying with her?" Mace asked as evenly as he could, his posture still tense.
"No!" Anakin laughed, seemingly oblivious to the conflict within his Master. "Why should I? My mum is happy and she's about to be married to someone who loves her. She deserves that."
Mace breathed deeply, closing his eyes for a small bit to regain his lost balance. Anakin isn't leaving. He's staying with him. He's going to be his Padawan for the next few years then remain close by in the Temple, where Mace can reach him at any time he wants to. He didn't realise that his shoulders slumped in relief until he felt Anakin's emotions shift in the Force.
"You... You thought I'll leave?" Anakin asked quietly, as if he can't believe it.
"You just found your long lost mother, freed her, and have a chance at being with a family who loves you. It is something that you have always wanted to have." Mace said as he rubbed his eyes.
"Yes, but I also want to be a Jedi so I can help people." Anakin said in response, making Mace's heart squeeze.
Depsite himself, Mace let out a bitter laugh. "Help people? Have you seen the galaxy Anakin? The Jedi are only serving those who make the problems. Not the ones who need it most."
Anakin looked at him in pure shock and awe, as if he can't believe these words just escaped his mentor. Mace couldn't believe that such words left his mouth as well as he compared himself to his past self. But that Mace was different. Perhaps naive or just too arrogant and foolish. But now Mace knows better.
"I have found more questions than answers here," Mace continued. "Perhaps, it is a good thing. To question everything. Because now, I have a better perspective when seeing things or situations like these."
His hand moved by itself, landing on Anakin's shoulder. The boy was almost as tall as him now, looking at him with eyes full of adoration and trust. It reminded Mace of a bright boy with similar eyes, looking at him with fear and suspence. The thought made his stomach churn with nausea as he realised just how terrible he was to Anakin.
"And it is all thanks to you, Padawan, you have taught me more than I can ever teach you. Your kindness and sympathy towards others make you an exceptional Jedi. One the Order is lucky to have."
Anakin's smile returned. Eyes gleaming and cheeks flushed from embarrassment at the open praise. This is Mace's favourite smile to see.
"I am who I am today because of you, Master," Anakin mumbled, looking down shyly. "You're a pretty great teacher."
The praise was so Anakin like that Mace couldn't help the way his lips turned up just a little bit.
"Considering how stubborn you are, I think I managed well." Mace teased lightly, allowing his mask to slip a bit. "But there is something I must inform you of; if you do decide to stay with the Order, you-"
"Can't see my mother again. I know, Master." Anakin cut him off before he could finish, looking a bit down.
"Actually, I was going to say you can contact her as much as you would like, just as long as you don't forget the Jedi teachings." Mace said gently, patting Anakin's shoulder.
Anakin gaped at him in shock for a long moment before he let out a cry of joy, lept to hug Mace quickly, then trotted to tell his mother of the news. Mace chuckled at the sight, former feelings of dread long gone now.
For the next years, everything seemed perfect. Anakin seemed to be getting calmer and calmer each day, almost balanced. His mind healing sessions are paying off and his frequent visits to see his mother had also helped greatly into shaping him into an almost peaceful Jedi. Though he still has moments where he does something completely out of sheer audacity or has this sassy attitude, he never outright disrespected or insulted Mace again. It's almost like he holds the Jedi Master on a high pedestal.
Which is why it's so jarring and surprising for Anakin to start picking fights with him as if he's twelve again. His reactions and words similar to the way an angry and traumatised Anakin has done before. Mace honestly believed they moved past that, that they became closer and reached an understanding of each other. It just didn't make sense on why Anakin blames him for everything that happened to him or start accusing Mace of things that he knows he never will do.
The rift has started between them ever since the boy turned eighteen and was allowed to speak to Chancellor Palpatine privately. The old leader has asked for Anakin before when he was much younger but the thought of leaving his small Padawan in the hands of a politician gave Mace the shivers and he had refused as the boy's guardian to let him anywhere near Palpatine as long as he's still legally a child.
His suspicions and wary of Palpatine proved to be right since each time Mace asked Anakin about the way he's acting, he would reply with the Chancellor told me that! or the Chancellor said- and Mace has a mind to barge into the old serpent's office and slice his head off his neck for the venomous lies he keeps on spewing to his Padawan.
Mace gave his advice and shared his piece of mind with Anakin more than once and decided to let the boy see the truth of the man by himself. He ignored the strained relationship between them and his own hurt at being discarded aside by his Padawan so quickly in favour of completing the boy's training to Knighthood. He had thought that Anakin was more than ready to become a Knight, but now, even with the boy's skills, he doubts he can be Knight in this state.
He cannot deny the fact that Anakin has become a great, powerful Jedi under his guidance, but he also cannot deny that Anakin has turned darker and far more tainted than Mace ever remembers him to be. Almost violent. While the boy used to participate in fights and sometimes destroy whatever in his way during his most awful raging episodes they were never violent, only aggressive. One morning after a particularly nasty fight, Mace looked at Anakin and saw someone he doesn't recognise anymore.
His patience was wearing thinner each day, and by the time the boy turned nineteen, Mace has already stopped him from visiting the Chancellor several times, making new excuses and lies to keep the boy away from that sorry excuse of a Chancellor. It didn't help that there was tension rising between the Republic and another party and the galaxy might be facing war. Mace's hope in the Jedi only continued to diminish.
The moment he found how it all made perfect sense was the night after Obi-Wan had called him from his assigned mission to see who was behind the attacks that Senator Amidala has been facing lately. He mentioned something about the planet Kamino and had told Mace to contact Quinlan since he was the one to actually do the investigation while Obi-Wan protected the Senator.
What Quinlan told him had disturbed him; he spoke of a clone army approved by the Council and made at the request of Master Sifo-Dyas. Not only that, but apparently, a man by the name of Tyranus has been funding the creation of the clones. It has been going on for a decade now, which means that man is incredibly wealthy.
It all broke loose when Geonoisis happened and Anakin had screamed in pain after the battle, head clutched tight in his hands as he clawed at his own hair. Mace was confused and terrified at first, not knowing what had caused his Padawan such distress the night after the battle since he didn't seem to have had a nightmare, but Anakin's next words made him wish he did.
"Sidious.. in my head!" Anakin screamed as he pulled his hair out. "He's breaking me apart! Help me!"
Mace had wasted no time in sitting the boy down in front of him and starting the ritual of looking through his mind. What he found shook him to his core. A bond born out of darkness, hidden in the furthest corner of Anakin's mind, slowly eating and gnawing at every light that is within him, is connecting Anakin to someone. Someone who had been there for quite a long time. Enough time to be comfortable around and start getting used to the place.
Mace had sent a message to Master Yoda immediately, knowing he can't break such a powerful and dark force by his own. Plus, he will need someone who can venture deep into the Force and figure out who is behind this, and Mace does not have the ability nor the practice for it. Master Yoda appeared in their quarters in a matter of seconds, looking grim and closed off both physically and in the Force.
It took them the whole night and even till sunset the next day to get rid of the cursed bond. Anakin had slumped on the floor from exhaustion, nose and ears bleeding. Master Yoda waited till the healers came to their quarters and instructed them on what to do before he turned to leave for his own quarters, promising Mace to figure out who was behind the distress of his Padawan, no matter the cost.
As Mace sat by his Padawan's side in the Healing Halls, all he could think of is how everything just made perfect sense. How Anakin's newfound anger was reborn. How he started despising the Jedi once more. How he kept on snapping at Mace and becoming more violent than anyone he has ever seen before. His poor Padawan was being influenced by the Dark Side, with no choice over his own actions or mind.
Mace's fists clenched in anger as he thought of a way to make Sidious pay for what he has done.
In the end, Mace's distrust in Palpatine wasn't misplaced. He turned out to be Sidious, planning to create a war and be on both sides of it. Watch as the galaxy crumbled so he can take over. Exterminate all Jedi and make Anakin his apprentice. To think it almost worked had made Mace's blood boil in white rage.
He had fought Sidious along with the other Councillors but he was the only remaining one standing. With each second, Mace lost hope that he can go on any longer. He just prayed for the Force that Anakin is strong enough to resist the pull of the Dark Side when suddenly a hue of blue soared through the air and hit Palpatine right in his back, coming out of his chest. Mace watched with satisfaction as the body of the Sith Lord toppled over.
"Missed me?" Anakin asked as he turned his gaze away from the scattered bodies of the people he saw alive just an hour ago.
"Where is Depa?" Mace asked instead, noticing how the body of his former Padawan is nowhere in the office.
"She's being tended to," Anakin answered, fake facade falling. "Master Yoda is taking care of her Force presence after the bad hit Sidious sent towards her in the Force."
Relief made Mace slump down to the floor as the recent events finally started catching up with his mind. For the most part, he is still in shock over what happened. His entire world has been flipped upside down in a matter of minutes.
"Dooku and the other Sith are still out there." Anakin filled in the silence, kneeling down beside Mace. "I'm sure we can get them if we put our minds into it."
"We can." Mace agreed, laying a hand on his shoulder. "But later. Now, it is time to celebrate our new Jedi Knight; Anakin Skywalker."
Anakin gave Mace a beam, that full smile. Mace's favourite smile.
In a rare moment of affection, Mace led Anakin into his arms, thinking about how he had almost lost everything if the boy in his arms didn't jump in when he did.
Mace Knighted Anakin with a smile so bright it could have probably competed with the sun's. But their bond was not severed like traditions say. Mace felt nothing but pride and joy during the moments of his Padawan's Knighting. Anakin shared his own fair share of happiness and delight through their very much still active bond.
Throughout the years, both Anakin and Mace have captured the remaining Sith, proved multiple Senators of both parties guilty, started a slave revolution and made a name across the galaxy for themselves.
Mace had also removed the Jedi Order from under the service of the Senate, instead setting out different missions for the thousands of Jedi to go and help people in need. Soon enough, the Jedi were known as they were supposed to be known as; the guardians and protectors of the galaxy. Even if the people in distress weren't within the Republican territories, the Jedi will always come for their aid.
Mace feels proud to be a Jedi.