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...
Revan and Lukas stood in the hull of the ship minutes from landing on Coruscant. Both were battle weary and looked as if they could use nothing more than a hot meal and to sleep for a week. Neither had slept willingly since the battle at Malachor V.
Lukas could still hear the screaming from within the Force. He defended himself somewhat but not fully. For all the lives lost caused by his order he would bear the burden. Now and forever. So many of his men. XIII, his oldest friend amongst them. Gone lost to the weapon that should have never been created.
Revan too was haunted by that final battle. She had killed Mandalor in single combat. It was just moments before Lukas had given the order. She had been on her way to tell him that the war was over. They had won and they could return home. Only for the generator to be used killing hundreds of thousands of more. She carried the weight of not being fast enough. Of not paying closer attention to the time.
Each General blamed themselves for what happened that day. Alek a long time friend had tried talking to them but was unable to break through. They simply stared at him with a blank thousand light year stare. He didn't know how to help them. He hadn't been there that day as he was off fighting in another sector. By the time he got the message it was too late. The damage had been done.
The Republic called them heroes. Mandalorians called them worthy adversaries. To themselves they were monsters. It hurt to simply look in a mirror. More than once Alek had come across them simply staring out at the endless darkness. Unreadable or blank expressions on their faces even in the privacy of their quarters.
It had been a surprise when they both declared they were going to face the Jedi Council. Alek thought it was a stupid idea but he had respected their decision. Even if he didn't understand it.
There was a jolt as the ship landed. Both Revan and Lukas swayed on their feet. Alek jolted ready to grab them if they fell. From the corner of his eye he saw that one of the technicians had done the same. Only for both of the Generals to stay standing.
After a few moments the landing gear released and lowered the ramp. Alek watched as Lukas's shoulders tightened. It had been years since they were on Coruscant. They had not left on good terms as the Council did not approve of them joining the war.
Alek tried to blink away the dots in his eyes as he stepped out. Once he could see again he found the entire High Council standing at the end of the ramp. Lukas froze as he caught sight of Jedi Master Kavar. There was a history between the two and it was the worst kept secret of the Order. What would happen now?
...
Lukas felt his heart drop as soon as he saw Kavar at the end of the ramp. The Jedi Master looked exhausted by other than he looked well. His Force presence was light and warm. Having spent so much time in war it relaxed him.
The other Masters glanced at him with a picture of mistrust and surprise. They hadn't thought he would actually return. Lukas swore he would return regardless of the war's outcome. Now he was just tired.
Behind him the other Jedi who decided to return filed out of the ship. Other ships would be arriving within the week. Several hundred had promised they would return. Only forty came the first day but it was enough to prove that they were going to return.
Master Vandar stood in the middle of the Masters and looked them over with knowing eyes. All the Jedi who came back stood on eggshells. They didn't know what would be said here. Would they be turned away? Or would they be jailed?
Lukas shuddered as the Force tried to encase him. A sharp look was given to him from Kavar worried. Then he felt the man's presence wrap around his quietening the screams through the Force.
The sudden weight being lifted off his shoulders caused Lukas to sway and then collapse. His heart rate jumped to unsafe levels. It felt as if the lives that had been lost were no longer on him. That he hadn't betrayed his men. Those who followed him despite everything.
"Lambert."
"Lukas!"
"General!"
Around him there were many shouts as well as hands both familiar and unfamiliar. In that moment he forgot where he was and that he was not on the battlefield. Lukas pulled the Force into him and then had it explode out. All around him men and women were thrown away from him. Several were nearly sent off the landing platform. Even the High Council were thrown back not having expected such a reaction.
Grey blue eyes searched for a threat. They were really seeing those around him. Instead he saw Malachor V in one of the final battles. He could hear blaster fire and smell the scents of blood and burned flesh. It made his stomach roll and he nearly vomited up his meager breakfast.
A Force Presence tightened around him preventing Lukas from moving. This wasn't right the Mandalorians didn't use the Force. While they respected those who fought against them, they refused to consider it themselves. There were a few he had sensed that were Force Sensitive but they would never consider it.
Footsteps sounded in front of him, he looked up to see Kavar. What... Lukas blinked and looked around. This was Coruscant. That was right the war was over.
Kavar touched his shoulder and whispered quietly, "Lukas it's okay. Focus on me. It's okay."
"Master Kavar," he whispered brokenly.
"Shhhh," he soothed, "You're okay. We are not angry. You came back just as you promised."
Lukas's head dropped down and said, "I killed so many. The Force screams at me."
Kavar sighed and pulled him by the shoulders close to the man. His earthy scent calmed him and his mind seemed to settle. The Force Presence equally calmed him and almost sent him into a sleepy haze.
Revan's clipped tone broke through it however, "Master Kavar maybe we should help General Lambert to his feet."
"General," croaked the man.
Lukas gave a shaky smile and asked, "You didn't follow the news of the war did you? I was named a General fairly early into the war."
"I..." He looked to the other a Council Members who gave him a very pointed look, "Come on Lukas. We need to have a conversation with you, Alek, and Revan."
The three exchanged knowing looks before they nodded. Kavar helped him to his feet and they headed for the High Council Chambers.
...
Hours later found Lukas in sleep pants and no shirt in front of a holotv. All that was on was the news of the return of the heroes. They spoke of his and Revan's deeds like they were gods. He didn't feel like a god. He felt like a scared child who didn't understand half of what was going on.
The Council hadn't made a decision on what would happen to the returning Jedi. Lukas knew that they would likely accept back the younger Jedi and those who didn't take a rank in the army. Many would need mind and soul healers to help them overcome what they had been through.
Revan and Alek would likely be accepted back as well. They would make great Jedi Masters after they heal. Lukas doubted that he would be among the accepted. His actions with the Mass Shadow Generator should immediately disqualify him. No matter what the Council's decision was he would honor it.
A knock on the door drew his attention from staring blankly at the holotv. When a tired groan he pushed himself up from the couch and opened the door. To blink in surprise at the man in Jedi robes standing there. For a moment they blinked at each other in surprise. Lukas hadn't expected it to be Kavar. Kavar hadn't expected him to open the door shirtless.
Lukas took a breath and stepped away from the door to allow him inside. To his surprise Kavar smiled at him and entered. He kicked the door shut behind him ensuring their privacy. He wasn't here to kick Lukas out if he was smiling. Right? That wasn't like Kavar. He wasn't vindictive like that.
Warm hands touched his shoulders and Kavar said soothing, "Hey breathe with me, Lukas. It's okay."
He was in Lukas's personal space. It was more than what he had in years.
Lukas took several long deep breaths before he asked, "What are you doing here, Kavar?"
Blue eyes searched his before he answered, "I came to talk to you. The Council has made a decision."
Lukas's shoulders hunched. He was expecting the worst. He was being thrown out of the Temple and they sent a friend in hopes of keeping him from destroying the Temple on his way out. He grab his bag and a shirt. He stumbled back only to be stopped by the grip on his shoulders tightened. Kavar's Force Presence also tightened around him.
Kavar demanded breaking through his haze, "Damn it, Lukas listen to me."
Owlishly Lukas did so. Kavar stared at him hard for a long few minutes. Once he was sure Lukas was listening to him his grip loosened. He looked almost as tired as he felt.
Kavar explained, "I'm here with good news, Lukas. The Council has decided to accept everyone back into the Order."
Lukas gaped at the man. They were doing what now?!
"It was a little rough getting them to accept you back," admitted Kavar, "We knew about what happened at Malachor V. Reading your file brought it into a new light. Vrook and Atris wanted to exile you. Vandar stood with me on this one in defending you. It came down to Zez Kai-Ell and Vash. Vash was surprisingly supportive of your return into the Order. Though she had conditions for her support. Zez Kai-Ell agreed with her conditions."
"What conditions?" He asked breathless.
Kavar looked uncertain at this point as he answered, "You are to return to being a Padawan under a Master. They want you to relearn the teachings. I was the one who was chosen."
"Yes," he declared without hesitation.
Kavar looked as if he was struck, "What?"
"Out of all the Masters," he explained as he moved further into the apartment he was given unintentionally putting space between him and Kavar, "They chose the one person outside of those of us who served I trust. So the answer is yes."
There was still a moment of hesitation in Kavar's face. Then he broke out into a large grin reminding Lukas of when they first met. He looked much younger and less tired than he had since the war began. It was good to see and Lukas couldn't help his own smile from forming.
Suddenly Kavar closed the difference between them again. Lukas froze unsure of what the man was going to do. At the locking of his muscles Kavar paused. His eyes seemed to ask for permission. Permission for what? Still uncertain he nodded.
Kavar reached out and warm hands cupped his cheeks. He leaned down so that their foreheads touched. The touch was gentle and unlike anything he had expected. He had always wanted a relationship with Kavar but it wasn't possible at the time.
Was it now? He didn't care at this point if it wasn't. He tilted his head back and kissed Kavar light and unsure.
Kavar's eyes widened with surprise before reciprocating. A purr like a large Loth Cat escaped him. Then Kavar pulled back allowing him to get air. As soon as he did get air he rubbed his cheek against the man's neck.
Kavar whispered in a low rumble, "Thank the Force. I wanted to do that for years."
"I did too," admitted Lukas, "I didn't think you felt the same though."
"It wasn't appropriate before," he said, "I'm so happy you feel the same. You do feel the same. Right?"
"I do. I always have."