Chapter Text
February 7th
It's a week before Valentine's.
My alarm goes off and before I can reach it, a larger arm reaches over and turns it off for me. The owner of said arm wraps around my stomach and pulls me close to their chest. I freeze up when I realize Red had spent the night.
I shudder feeling their breath on the back of my neck. I don't want to look back and check to see if they're actually asleep. They could just be doing this to scare me.
Nights with Red used to be fun. Wine coolers in the bed as we talked about nothing. Or moreso, I did. Red always listened, never really talking about themselves.
I suppose that should've been the first sign of trouble.
We'd met about a month ago.
I was walking out the store with no other goal in mind than getting home. Then, like a klutz I'd stumbled and scraped my knee, nearly spilling my groceries. They offered to give me a lift to my car.
I'd been so scared back then. In their truck. Often times I still am, when I scrounge up the nerve to ask them for a lift to work. And when they smile, it's so warm and inviting. So welcoming...
I hate it.
Despite their hold, I keep struggling against their grip. God, they're usually not this cuddly awake. When an arm comes up around my neck I panic and tap their arm repeatedly. A muscle flexes and it's grip loosens. There's shifting behind me and a soft hum that tells me they're waking up. After a moment of stillness they move away and I go slack from relief. While I recover they are quick to head out the door, not even looking at me.
'Damn, no good morning?' I think ignorantly.
I sit up on the bed and hug my knees. I should know better than to expect anything - to set an expectation on the unpredictable force that is Red.
But still I try.
When I work up the nerve to head to the living room my heart just about jumps out of my chest. They're at the bar counter, head low, hands ...clenched? They seem to be in deep thought.
Good thing they hadn't noticed me yet. I take a deep breath and put on a neutral expression before walking into the kitchen to get out some packs of coffee with some sweetener in it. Despite how they may look, Reds' got an aversion to the more bitter tasting stuff. I used to tease them a bit about it, when we were on easy terms with each other - when I didn't know anything about them.
I spared a them glance and let some of the tension ease from myself when I noticed they were in 'neutral'. They were on autopilot, still thinking, likely about our little morning 'cuddle time'. When I set the mug in front of them they blinked and took the sweetener as well.
I fixed my own mug and leaned against the counter, trying to keep casual without speaking.
One might be put off by the quiet and stillness right now (and I was), but it was still pretty early in the morning, and we weren't ready for each other right now.
Each other. Together. Me and Red. Thats a scary thought. Whatever this was wasn't as much as relationship as it was a game - a guessing game of sorts.
Guess the others' thoughts. Intentions. Actions. I've been doing a lot of that for Red, and I assume it was the same for them too. Despite the circumstances, I like to hope I'm smarter than let on; that I'm not such easy bait.
Though, I probably wouldn't be in this situation if I was.
"I'm gonna watch some TV." I say. My voice is quiet and still kind of sleep ridden but Red doesn't seem to acknowledge it. They're absent-mindedly sipping their coffee.
I plop down on the couch and turn on some TV. A cheesy sitcom is on and I indulge myself with that until commercials come on. Almost all are Valentine themed. Often I would ignore these types of things and switch to my phone to scroll away while putting the niggling feeling of loneliness in the back of my head.
Now though, I find myself oddly fixated on the activities and products advertised.
None of the stuff seemed like anything Red would like. But then again they're the same lanky creep that I found out likes their coffee extra sweet so anything was possible. Still as I watched I noticed that nothing really...clicked.
Gestures of affection like gifts were something I'd grown numb to due to being given practically everything a child could want...well, everything except social interaction. I wasn't really allowed to go anywhere unless it was a special occasion or my birthday.
I wondered if Red was well traveled. They definitely seemed to get out more than they let on. But maybe that's because they had more life experience.
Regular couples often had picnics, but sitting outside for a certain amount made me skittish...
Others would go hiking. Nah, too far.
Then suddenly, I blurted, "We should have an outing."
Red turned in their chair with a hum. "Oh, should we?" They ask.
"Y-yeah... I'd like to."
They smile, wide and practiced. Putting their coffee down, they lean forward with their head in their hands. "Where did you have in mind?"
It sounds like a quiz question when they ask me. Thankfully, I already have the answer.