Work Text:
At 8 months old, the baby stops crying.
No one notices.
The caretaker who is paid to feed the baby at the appropriate times and change it is only glad that it is silent. The silent ninja in animal masks that sometimes check in on him are only satisfied that there are no bruises on the child and it is being fed appropriately. The old man in the office who receives the report is satisfied to hear it is alive and apparently well. No one worries about why the child stopped crying. No one cares.
At 9 months, the baby has already learned to move on his own, sitting up and rolling over. No one notices, and even if they did, they would not care.
At one year old, the baby's first birthday passes unnoticed. The people in the streets mourn the loss of family and friends, and the caretaker skips work to attend the memorial. Perhaps it's for the better. There is no one in that village who would congratulate such a child for being alive. On the anniversary of his parents' deaths, a baby spends his first birthday alone in a crib, with no toys to play with or arms to hold him. No one thinks of the baby. No one cares.
A month after he turns one, the child receives his first toy, and his first gift, a stuffed frog. He doesn't babble or make a noise at the unexpected appearance of an unknown person, though his eyes follow the old man curiously. The child doesn't reach for the toy offered him, sitting still as a statue, and only watches the old man, until finally the old man shoves the toy into his chubby baby hands. The child still doesn't close his small fingers around the plush till long after the old man leaves. He is a baby that has already learned nothing belongs to him.
The toddler grows, and learns to take his first steps. He's later than most, with no one to prompt a step forwards, and no arms to catch him when he falls. But the caretaker is growing annoyed, so the toddler learns that if he wants to eat, he must learn to reach the food from the chair it's left on. No one praises him for walking. No one praises him when he learns to drink his milk by himself, or when he feeds himself by spoon with his clumsy child hands.
The caretaker is glad to have less to do, less time to spend with the monster child, less skin contact required.
At two, another birthday passes without the child knowing. He still hasn't spoken, but no one has noticed. No one cares. The child learns to respond when he is called, and he learns he is called "monster". At two, the child begins to realize he is hated, though he does not understand why. He receives more toys, anonymously left in his room while he sleeps, guilt-ridden gifts sent by an old man in an office, who has only seen the child twice since he was born. Two days after the toys appear, the child touches them for the first time.
By the time he is two and a half, the child stops playing with the toys, and no one notices.
At three years old, the child sees a doctor for the first time. The doctor doesn't glare at him like his caretaker does, and doesn't call his name like her either. The doctor says words the child doesn't know or understand, and she gets upset when he doesn't respond. At three years old, he knows how to read expressions, and how to respond accordingly. He knows the glare of anger and rough hands that come when he doesn't do as instructed, but he doesn't understand what's being instructed of him. The child tries to obey, executing all the commands given, but the doctor is still not pleased.
At three years old, the child has not made a sound for over two years, and for the first time, someone notices.
It takes time, and many visits to people the child doesn't know, before he understands what the people want of him. At three and almost 5 months old, the child tries to speak for the first time. And the child learns malice in return. Words he doesn't understand, but emotions he recognizes. The child isn't even four years old yet, but he knows that he is not liked. He knows he is not liked because he doesn't speak, so he tries to speak. And when he does speak for the first time, malicious words taught by bitter teachers, he learns that he is not liked when he speaks either.
But the child is asked to speak, so the toddler learns to apologize for his existence before he even knows what the word "sorry" even means. He learns other words too, how to ask for food, or water, how to say "please" and "thank you" and other words he doesn't understand, "Naruto" and "murderer". He learns he is both of those things, but he doesn't understand what they are or what they mean. He only knows they people want him to say he is those things, and that they get angry when he does.
He learns other things by teachers too, how to dress himself, what colours and items are, how to say simple phrases, but the child doesn't dare say them unprompted. He is afraid of how they will react. He is only three years old, and already is scared of the world.
He learns other things, by himself. He learns not to touch the bowl of oatmeal when it is still hot, he learns to hide when he is hurt so he is not scolded. He learns to look at picture books, and enjoy them without understanding them. He learns to watch the people outside through his window, but not to be seen. He learns to neither be seen nor heard, and that he will be scolded if he is. At less than four years old, the toddler learns to disappear.
On the child's fourth birthday, he is not alone for the first time. The old man who funds and manages him speaks to the child for the first time, and the child responds shyly to the prompt as he was taught, a pitiful greeting of "I'm sorry. I'm a murderer."
And the old man who greets the child seems to grow older, weary lines appearing on his face where there were not lines before, and the child worries he did something wrong. But the man is gentle and nice, and gently takes the four year old's hands, and tells the four year old something the child had not known before. He tells the four year old he is not a murderer, he is something called a "Naruto". And the four year old doesn't dare ask what a Naruto is, even to such a gentle and hate-less old man. The old man promises to come again soon, and leaves. The caretaker changes the very next day.
The four year old doesn't see that old man again until his fifth birthday. By his fifth birthday, he is already learning how to take care of himself, how to feed himself, wash himself, and even understand the words he's been taught. The new caretaker has taught him well, and he knows now what a "monster" and a "murderer" is, and even what a "Naruto" is. But old lessons aren't forgotten that easily, and the child has only learned that he is all three, that "Naruto" is just the name of the monster he is.
On the day of his fifth birthday, Naruto is given a toy by the old man, who he learns to call "Jii-san". Jii-san looks upset when Naruto doesn't take it at first, so his timidly reaches for the stuffed frog, watching the old man's face for a reaction, a sign if he is right or wrong. He's a five year old that only knows to watch and react. Jii-san raises a hand and the five-year old flinches away. Naruto knows he made the wrong choice again. The expected blow never comes, and Naruto peaks at Jii-san to see why. Jii-san looks older again, more lines and wrinkles appearing as he slowly lowers his hand, and it makes Naruto uneasy. He doesn't know what he's done wrong, or what he should be doing instead.
No one tells him, and Jii-san ends the visit abrubtly, leaving a five-year-old alone in that room. Jii-san comes more often after that, but he seems even older, and moves much slower. It takes months before Naruto learns that the offered hand doesn't mean danger, and even longer until he understands the gentle intent behind it. He's a child who's never been offered a handnfor comfort, and a child who doesn't know how to feel comfort from holding a hand, but he's slowly learning.
When Naruto is barely five and a half, he goes outside for the first time, clinging tightly to Jii-san's hand. He sees trees for the first time up close, feels the unexpected tickle of grass against his hands and sticky mud pulling at his too-small sandals on his feet that Jii-san had brought for him. Jii-san gives him a a small wallet, frog-shaped, and Naruto marvels. He's slowly beginning to understand what it means to have "things" that are "his" .
Jii-san takes him to places called "stores" and shows him how to buy "things" with "money". The person who owns the store glares at Naruto, and he cringes behind Jii-san. Naruto waits for the sharp words and anger he's used to being directed at him, but when Jii-san's gentle hand falls on Naruto's head the angry look towards him disappears. At almost five and half years old, Naruto learns what it means to be protected. He doesn't realize he is learning this, or that he is being taught how to take care of himself, or why. He's only satisfied to be spending time with the one kind person in his life, and to see things he's never seen before. He's learning to talk too, it's necessary if he wants to buy things, and if he doesn't buy things, he can't eat.
So at not even five aa half years old, Naruto learns to talk.
Jii-san stops coming as often, and Naruto learns to venture out to get his own food, on his own. He learns that his protection is limited to when Jii-san is by his side. He learns to run from little boys like himself, and to dodge rocks thrown at him. He learns to avoid "people" because he isn't one of them. He learns to survive.
By the time Naruto turns six, the caretaker doesn't come anymore. Instead, Jii-san very gently tells Naruto he has to take care of himself now. Naruto doesn't know what that means. He is a six-year old that has always taken care of himself, by himself. Jii-san takes Naruto to a new place, large and loud and full of the people Naruto has learned to fear and avoid, adults with cold eys and kids his age that throw rocks and hit him. He's a six year old that has learned people bring pain, and he's a six year old that doesn't want to be in pain any longer. At six years old, Naruto begs for help for the first time.
But Jii-san turns cold and stern when Naruto tells him he doesn't want to go there, and Naruto learns that affection is earned, and if he isn't obedient, it may be lost. So Naruto becomes a six year old that goes to school, even if he hates it, for a simple smile or gentle hand on his head. He learns to be a six-year old who doesn't ask for help, a six year old who takes care of himself.
At 8 months old, the baby stopped crying, and no one noticed or cared.
At twelve years old, he starts to cry again, hidden away alone and in secret.
And no one knows.