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According to Miko, it was one of those days. A day she let everyone at school, and at the base know of. Bulkhead could already tell something was off by her uncharacteristic complaining when she hopped into his backseat. Her body temperature was slightly higher than usual, and the way she moved like a squirming bitlet didn’t go unnoticed by Bulkhead.
“You okay Miko?” He asked, angling his rear view mirror, “you’re kinda acting strange.”
“Remember when I told you that some humans bled out of their body and had to deal with excruciating pain for the majority of the time and then Ratchet gave you that crash course on human biology? Well that’s what it is” she grumbled, crossing her arms, “can you let down the windows?”
“Again?” Bulkhead asked, “I thought it only happened like twelve times a year.”
“A human year has twelve months in it, Bulkhead, that’s once every month!”
The moment she and Bulkhead had arrived at the base, she’d made a beeline for the couch and plopped herself atop of it. Luckily neither Raf or Jack were there to shove off.
“You mind lending me a hand, Bulkhead?” Miko called to the transforming bot as she got comfortable on the couch, “actually a fing–servo?”
“Umm, sure?” Bulkhead responded, awkwardly angling his servo towards Miko, “Like this?”
“Yep, just like that!” She yanked it over as easy as she could, “You’re like a moving heating pad, so I’m gonna have to borrow you for the next hour or two.”
With a hoodie drawn over her eyes, and Bulkhead’s large, warm servo over her middle like a large heating pad, she let herself drift to sleep.
Or at least tried to.
Screeching wheels against the metal ground and the odor of burnt rubber filled the air, and with a groan, Miko shifted beneath Bulkhead’s servo and pulled her hoodie tighter over her head. Metal shifted against itself, loudly, and Wheeljack stood at full height, stretching his arms high in the air.
“What’s up Bulk, feel like—”
“Shhh! It’s Miko’s cycle!” Bulkhead called over his shoulder, “I think her head is hurting, or something.”
“More like my entire body, but you get the idea Bulk.” Miko mumbled.
“Again? Didn’t it happen last month?”
“It happens every month, Wheeljack,” Miko lifted her head from beneath her hoodie, “until I'm old, like 40.” She collapsed, dramatically, grabbing at Bulkhead’s servos.
“Is the Doc here?” Wheeljack asked, head whipping around towards the computer.
“No, he left with Optimus a while ago. Why?” Bulkhead tilted his head, “Thinking of asking him for help?”
“No, not him. Maybe I can whip up something to help our smallest Wrecker with her pain,” Wheeljack made his way to the computer and began mumbling to himself, “there’s gotta be something here that can help you.”
“I have Advil, but I think I'm running out.” Miko said, muffled beneath the fabric of her jacket.
“Well because you run through them four every two hours,” Bulkhead chimed in, “monthly.”
“According to this, you’re only supposed to take two every four hours, kid, but you’re telling me you’ve taken more than that?” Wheeljack continued as he typed away, “I don't think that’s good.”
“I don’t think being in agonizing pain is good either,” Miko shoots back, “Bulkhead–your finger!”
“Oops, sorry Miko!” Bulkhead readjusted his finger over Miko’s middle, channeling a steady stream of heat into the tip, “Just let me know if it’s too hot.”
“...hmm…your pain comes from your neural network as opposed to the actual place where you’re feeling pain. If we can disrupt the message flow then we can disrupt the pain without affecting the crucial body functions. There are ways we can do this, but the safest would be a harmless electrical pulse.” Wheeljack said in one breath.
Bulkhead raised an optic ridge, and Miko peaked out from beneath her hoodie.
“I hate when he gets all sciency like that. So un-wrecker of him,” Miko grumbled, “Like I skipped science class for a reason.”
“Yeah, me too. Jackie, can you say that in a way we can all understand?” Bulkhead added, “You lost me when you threw in “neuronetwork”.”
“Well first of all it’s ‘neural network’ and second of all, what I’ms saying is that we just need to electrocute her. Mildly.” Wheelhack emphasized the last word, “It shouldn’t hurt or anything like that. In fact you should feel a buzz and then the pain should be gone.”
“No need to convince me, I trust you guys!” Miko tapped Bulkhead's servo and sat up on the couch, “just let me know what I need to do.”
Bulkhead, on the other hand, looked horrified. “Are we sure this is a good idea? I mean electrocution? Can’t that…extinguish Miko’s spark if it’s too much?”
“No, it won’t hurt her,” Wheeljack turned from the monitor and held up his finger. Miko watched in awe as a thin, small rod grew from the tip. Blue tendrils of electricity danced around it.
“That’s so cool , I wish I could do things like that.” Miko stood, gripping the rail for support, “I would never have to worry about human things again.”
“Hey, Cybertronian things aren’t much better to deal with, Miko. If I get another chance, I would like a try at being human.” Bulkhead nudged her gently, “you guys are full of surprises.”
“Yeah, like monthly cycles that make it so hard you can’t even stand straight,” she mused, sarcastically.
“Well, not for long. One prod of this at the back of your neck, and your monthly pain will never bother you again.”
“Alright, I'm ready!” Miko pushed herself off the bar, an ear-to-ear smile, “jab me!”
And Wheeljack moved forward, intending just to do that. Within moments, the electric rod hovered over her head, just moments away from touching her. Her smile grew, closing her eyes and awaiting relief. Except, it never came.
Instead, she jolted at the familiar sound of two bots colliding into one another.
“Have you lost your MIND?”
“Ratchet?” Miko eeped, “When and how did you get here?!”
“While you were busy letting Wheeljack electrocute you to death, Optimus and I just got back from our mission. I suppose you didn’t hear us, but that’s not the issue.” The Medic called as he wrestled Wheeljack’s hand to his side.
“Ahhh–Doc didn’t know you had it in you to attack a Wrecker.”
“Ratchet! It’s okay he was just helping me!” Miko defended him, “Don’t be angry with him!”
“By shocking you? He’s not a doctor, he’s not a human doctor. I’m not a human doctor.”
Somewhere between dragging Wheeljack out by his earpiece, and barking at Bulkhead to “call June the next time you want to help Miko”, Ratchet had provided Miko with a small, non-electric alternative to a heating pad.
“What, so you can change Fowler’s biology but I have to fight through the trenches? I see how it is!” Miko returned to the couch and resumed her familiar position.
“First–you are not in the trenches, Miko. Trust me. Second–even if you were, I wouldn’t use an untested, wrecker invention to get you out. And Third–a lightning rod? Really? There are some things that you cannot get out of, at least not like this” Ratched mumbled, “That’s like asking Optimus to not be a Prime. You just have to deal with it.”
“But even Optimus has help. Don’t you, Optimus?” Miko called out, peeking through her jacket, “what’s the point of having high tech aliens as family if they can’t occasionally use their smarts to help you.”
Optimus’s optics widened, realizing he’d just been called out. Meekly, he lowered his head and excused himself, not wanting to be pit against his team or Ratchet.
“I tried, kid!” Wheeljack called from a distance, “Don’t say I didn’t try!”
“Jackie, stop, ” Bulkhead begged, pulling his friend back, “And—sorry Ratchet, we just wanted Miko to not feel so bad.”
Miko sighed, adjusting the new heating pad Ratchet had provided her with. It wasn’t an electrical rod, but it was better than Bulkhead’s finger. It would do. She shot a quick text to Jack and Raf, asking for June’s assistance and for Raf to raid his sister’s cabinets for something helpful, again. Afterwards, she let herself fall to sleep, the dull lull of robot vents and gigantic computers finally putting her to sleep.