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Katsuki was suffocating. Hands wrapped around his neck and refused to let go, even as he clawed them away. For a second they would disappear, like whisps of smoke, but another pair would soon take its place. His head was above water yet he was drowning.
Faintly he heard something slam, but the noise was too muffled for his foggy brain to decipher what it was and where it came from. Katsuki was thrashing even harder, fighting to pull away the hands clinging to his body, more joining the ones on his neck. Grabbing his arms and legs and pulling them down. The whisps began to distinguish themselves and Katsuki began to recognize the people pulling him under.
“Katsuki,” A soothing voice whispered. And even though it was quiet, the words were clearer than the army of villains screaming at him.
Katsuki fought even harder, trying to reach that voice. It was soft and warm, never reaching above a whisper. His eyes darted around until he saw a hand. Not clawing at him like the others, this one was reaching out to him, letting Katsuki be the one to accept the touch. Desperately Katsuki reached out, his fingers missing the other’s grasp by mere inches but with enough force, he was able to grab on and let himself be pulled from the nightmare.
Katsuki woke up with a lurch, his mind not entirely in the waking world as he kicked and thrashed. Someone was keeping him down, trapping him, and refusing to let go. Katsuki screamed as he tried to get his attacker off of him but the longer he fought the more he realized that it wasn’t a person he was fighting against, it was his blankets. Which had tangled around his legs during sleep. Katsuki was able to kick them off eventually, but not without help. It took him a moment for his eyes to figure out who he was looking at but as soon as he saw Masaru’s face, he launched himself into his waiting arms.
He clung to Masaru like a small child, burying his face into Masaru’s chest as he sobbed. Masaru held him silently, rubbing soothing circles along Katsuki’s back as he waited for him to get his breathing under control. When the sobs turned to sniffles, Masaru began speaking.
“It was only a dream, you’re ok.”
“It felt so real,” Katsuki muttered, turning his head to wipe the snot off his nose.
“I know, but it wasn’t. You’re safe.”
Katsuki was never safe, he would never be safe. Even if he decided to quit the hero course at U.A. and become a regular citizen he would still always have to look over his shoulder. The villains wouldn’t care if he was done or not.
The war might have been over for everyone else but it never ended for Katsuki, even seven months later he could barely sleep throughout the night. At first, he tried to deny that something was wrong, if he kept pushing the problem away then he’d never have to deal with it. But every time he shoved it shoved back ten times harder until he was forced to take a leave of absence. It stung, watching his friends and everyone else he knew moving on with their lives, the war being nothing but a bad dream. Terrible when experiencing it, but something one can wake up from and quickly move on as if nothing ever happened. Not Katsuki, he was forced to relive it not only in the waking world but also in his dreams, no matter where he turned he could never find solace.
He couldn’t even force himself to go to their graduation. Seeing everyone, happy and carefree made his stomach roil. He should’ve been up on that stage with everyone else, getting that stupid piece of paper and celebrating. But no, he was here, sitting in his childhood bed, being coddled like a baby because his idiotic mind wouldn’t let him sleep.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No!”
“That’s ok, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. But remember what your therapist told you to do instead?”
Katsuki nodded, his gaze drifting over to the journal on his nightstand. He’d just gotten it a little over a month ago and the pages were all nearly filled, each one describing a new nightmare that plagued him every night. Some were more thought out than others, and rereading the stories brought him right back to the terrified state he was in when he wrote them. Others only had a few nonsensical words, his mind still delirious and reeling from sleep deprivation.
“Do you want me to give you a few minutes to write everything down?”
Katsuki shook his head. He hugged Masaru tighter, unable to say the words aloud, but Masaru understood well enough. He shifted so that his back was against Katsuki’s headboard and Katsuki crawled into his lap despite barely fitting in it anymore. Masaru turned on the TV and began flipping through all the streaming services before landing on Disney+. Katsuki watched his mild interest as he scrolled down until he reached the children’s shows.
“Bluey? I’m not five, that show was made for babies.”
“Everyone can watch it,” Masaru reassured. “It’s a good show, and besides it’s not like I’m going to tell everyone what you watch.”
“You watch this?”
Masaru chuckled to himself. “Sometimes, it started out with clips on TikTok then an episode here and there then-”
“You have TikTok?” Katsuki asked, horrified. He pushed himself slightly away from Masaru. Oh god, what had he seen? “You don’t follow me, right?”
“No, of course not. I respect your privacy both on and off social media.” He eyed Katsuki. “Why, you’re not posting things you shouldn’t be posting on social media, right?”
“No, I just don’t want you following me, same for the old hag!”
“Don’t call your mother that, and before you ask. No, she’s not following you either.”
Katsuki sagged with relief. “Thank fuck,” He muttered to himself.
“Don’t swear.”
“Mom swears all the time!”
“Something I’ll never forgive her for. Your first word should’ve been dada or mama, not the s-word.”
Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling as he looked down. It was a story he used to hear a lot when he was younger, now it was only brought up once every blue moon at a dinner party or family reunion.
“You were so proud of yourself too, stood up. Placed your hands on your hips and bellowed it out in front of the entire daycare. It was not fun trying to explain that!” Masaru laughed to himself.
“What can I say, I’ve always been a hothead.”
“That you are.”
The pair fell into silence. Eventually, Masaru turned on Bluey and with each episode they watched, Katsuki’s eyes grew heavier and heavier. Masaru started rubbing Katsuki’s back again, the movement slow and repetitive which only caused Katsuki to drift further into sleep. Masaru shifted Katsuki off of him and tucked him into bed, still letting the TV run. He stepped back and nearly turned to go back to his room when Katsuki’s arm shot out, his fingers encircling Masaru’s wrist.
Masaru stopped and Katsuki quickly pulled back, his face flushing bright red with embarrassment. “Can- can you stay, just for a little while? Just to make sure I don’t have another nightmare.”
Masaru smiled warmly and nodded. “Of course, kiddo.”